The Art of Organised Cheating Part 1

You decide that cheaper is better, and set out for an air journey. You notify Spike as to where you’re going and give him a small list of things to do, and ponies to call when he’s in trouble with any of those things.

You decide to pack lightly, bringing only an abacus, a sun dial, a compass, a gyroscope, a retort and burner, a map, 3 textbooks on chemistry, 2 textbooks on astrophysics, 5 small books on geometry, 30 #2 pencils, 10 charcoal pencils, a drafting board with 100 sheets of 11X17 paper, 2 lead holders with 7H lead and 2B lead, a globe, an alchemical unit conversion sheet, 40 vials of assorted elements, a meter stick, a scale, a dial caliper, 31 fiction novels, a dictionary, 12 blank composition notebooks, a Ouija board, a spectrometer, an ohmmeter, a laser pointer, a soldering kit, a box of assorted screwdrivers, a Walkmare mp3 player, a list of funny riddles and puns, a box of chocolates from Germany and Fillitalia, a can of coffee beans, your coffee/tea maker along with the tea set, a pair of sunglasses, a crossbow with 8 bolts, a pillow, and your toothbrush.

You somehow manage to fit these items in 5 standard suitcases. You levitate your baggage into the basket of your hot air balloon. Before you light the burner, a familiar voice calls out your name. You turn to the source of the voice and you spot your friends.

“Hi, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie calls out to you. “We heard you’d be away for a while, so I threw you a ‘Going Away for a While’ party!”

I love that filly. You think to yourself. You thank Pinkie and the rest of your 5 friends for their company. You decide to unwind before departing on your boring adventure.

The afternoon is enjoyably pleasant. So far, you’ve had a picnic and ate chocolate cake with butter-cream icing and marzipan candies. Applejack brought apple pie for everypony, and that was fantastic.

You each conversed about trivial, yet entertaining happenstances in your lives. Fluttershy told a story on how she tricked Angel into thinking he was a cat. Very amusing. Applejack told a story on how she was in a battle with an unkindness of ravens. Very funny. Rarity told a story on how she sewed a dress for a princess in a far away country. Very scandalous. And Pinkie told a story on how she had a dream about taking Spike to a forest and then being murdered brutally by you. Very ominous. Rainbow Dash just laughed along with every pony else, and didn’t really have much to talk about. She slept in for the past week, and when she was awake, she was practicing.

To end the party, you all watched the sun set. It was a beautiful sight.

You now find yourself up in your hot air balloon. Everypony waved goodbye as you took off towards Canterlot.

The ride is ever pleasant. You’re listening to soothing music as you ascend into the night sky. The stars are calming and every note from your Walkmare Mp3 player seems to put you in a lax state. You lie on your surprisingly soft suitcases on the floor of the basket and gaze at the crescent moon. The song you were listening to transitions to a more soothing one so smoothly, you don’t even notice.

Your eyes are becoming heavier and heavier. Despite the fact that you could get up right now and see what’s going on, you suddenly don’t even want to be bothered with such a responsibility. You feel trapped in your own relaxation, tranced-out by the cosmos and the soft melody’s sudden transition to a more passionate one is the only thing keeping you awake. You lie, awake, gawking endlessly at the moon, then the backs of your eye lids, then the moon again, all in accordance to your music.

You progressively and inevitably begin to dose off.

Your eyes open slowly to see a large fire. The immense heat startles you. You jolt up abruptly and survey your surroundings. You find that the balloon has been snagged on a cliff’s sharp edge. Your basket caught fire due to the fuel leaking from the burner and drenching the outside of it.

You notice that the fire is still going and you quickly try to teleport away from the imminent explosion. You come up short and find yourself blown sky high by the shock wave. You plummet down to the ground quicker than you know it.

Then you turn into a pony pancake.

Death by Trauma

FUUUUUUU! How does that even happen?!