The Art of Organised Cheating Part 1

by Roseluck

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Twilight Sparkle, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Comedy, Trixie
Length: 25482

When a test gets too hard, there is only one option to resort to, but you're Twilight Sparkle, so this should be easy.

A nice, relaxing book reading session is what you need after your long day. How’s about a fic? However, before you get your read on, you find out that you’ve been requested to take a highly difficult, and ever grueling academic challenge: The Two Week Aptitude Tests. (Some call these tests the T.W.A.T.s, but that is most unlawful.) Do you really have the time to be sitting around in the unforgiving blaze that is her majesty’s sun while taking tests on the streets of Canterlot with a flood of other scholars who are just as miserable as you for up to 8 hours a day for two weeks? Why not curl up with a nice book or hang with your friends during the summer break?

Well, you don’t have much choice. Do you really want to go against the wishes of the princess? Even worse, what would happen if you fail these tests? Like you would.
You’re Twilight Sparkle. Since when have you ever failed a few tests?

A Choose your own adventure story by Roseluck.

Published 2013-06-19 23:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-19 23:40:01 UTC

1 (start)

It’s well into the night, and the moon is currently the sole source of light. Its glow drenches everything in the room in a pale blue. The sounds of dull trotting can faintly be heard outside, and they’re probably being caused by the Lunarfoals. They’re always up at this hour.

Your eyes are hard to keep open. Eventually, they flutter shut. You reopen them to find that the scene has changed completely.

The most notable thing is how bright the room has suddenly gotten. Your eyes blink rapidly in response to the blinding light. It takes a nice face-rub and a few minutes for your eyes to finally adjust. You let out an extensive yawn and stretch out your legs. Finally, as you smack you lips together, you notice that it is now daytime.

Your heart starts pumping at double its normal speed when you believe you’ve forgotten something important. You meant to finish it before the day came.

Well, it came! It doesn’t look like you’ve got anything done, either.

Suddenly, you begin to calm down. You realize that you’ve been taking a well deserved break from your studies. You were only up all night re-organizing books.

You’re always punctual about everything you do. Whether it is required, or something you don’t even have to do. In this case, it’s the latter. You’ve already organized the books 20 times over yesterday. You probably started to organize them again just to put yourself to sleep.

And it worked! You slept like a baby and gave yourself quite a scare.

Although, now there are some books taken off the shelves that need to be replaced. You also need to get the mail. After another long stretch, you decide to do so. Afterwards, you can replace the books, and hang out with your friends.

You walk outside and the sun’s warmth stings your spine. It’s definitely summertime. Birds are chirping to a tune that could only be heard at this time of year. Ponies have just started exiting their homes, probably to check the mail or shop for breakfast. Judging by your surroundings, you estimate the time to be 6:56 in the morning.

Yeah, you didn’t get much sleep.

You approach your mailbox and magically open the door, retrieving the contents in a similar fashion. You flip through various papers as you walk back inside. You’re just about to make yourself some coffee when something catches your eye.

The Canterlot Seal of Authentication was emblazoned upon a scroll. You become confused. Usually, a letter like this would be presented to you via your assistant, Spike. You decide to open the letter and read it carefully:

Dear Professionals, Academics, Scholars, and Students Alike,

As you may know, the Annual ‘Two Week Aptitude Tests’ are being held in Canterlot on June 26th. If you are receiving this letter, it means that you are being requested by Princess Celestia to partake in these exams to help her and her subordinates better understand the mental capacity of the scholastically apt residents of the Empire. Those receiving this letter have most likely taken this test before, however, these retests will be a way of renewing and reassessing your capabilities. The testing rules and guidelines have not changed in any particular way as a result of retesting graduated, overqualified, or soon to be graduated students such as yourself, and it is expected that you act in the same manner as the rest of the test takers.

The tests will begin in exactly 4 days from the time this letter reaches its destination, which should be June 22nd.

Sincerely, The Superintendent of Equestrian Education.

You read the scroll over again. Then you read it over again, and again, and again until you have read it a total of 9 times. Multiple thoughts flow through your head.

‘Oh, that cross-eyed mare must’ve mixed up my mail again,’ but you rule that out because she’s gotten better at delivering mail.

‘Oh, this must be a prank pulled by Pinkie,’ but you rule that out because even Pinkie couldn’t forge the Canterlot Seal of Authentication.

‘Oh, maybe I’m an exception to this letter, since I’m a student of the Princess.’

The last thought seems to be the one you accept, but then you see a paper clip on the lower left corner of the scroll with an attached note on it. It reads:

Dear Twilight,

I do hope you participate in this as well. It should be easy for you, since you are my star pupil. I’ve been more than lenient with you regarding your studies on friendship as of late, and I do believe you’ve been studying various topics as well. There really isn’t any reason you should exclude yourself from the Two Week Aptitude Tests.

I hope to see you in Canterlot.

Your Princess, Celestia.

With a heavy sigh, you toss your hoof-full of papers into the air, flailing your legs about in disapproval.

The ‘Two Week Aptitude Tests’. Back when you were a filly, these tests were referred to as the T.W.A.T.s, but such foul mouthing would result in swift punishment. Before you tried them, you thought you’d like the T.W.A.T.s, but found they were just too much to deal with. You were so glad they were over, you damn near broke out in tears. Then to find out you scored a 91, which is a high ‘Alpha Kappa’ or ‘άνω κατάλληλος’ meaning ‘Above Apt’, you really did start to cry.

Most students could only hope to score a Kappa for ‘Kατάλληλος’ which means Apt, and that would be a solid 65. More than half the students who take the test end up scoring lower than a 65, which is an ‘Alpha’ for ‘Aνεπαρκής’ meaning inadequate. Students who fail completely, that is, a solid 0, receive a ‘Double Alpha’ for ‘Aποτυχία’ meaning failure.

Then there’s Tau, for Tέλειος which means Perfect. No one has ever scored a T. It’s impossible. You couldn’t score a T if you tried. The best you could hope to score is an AK, like you did when you were young.

But then that reminds you of the last possible grade you could get. Receiving this grade means you either cheated, and you were caught, you left the testing grounds, or you got sick. That’s Alpha Sigma, for αισχρός, meaning disgraceful.

You could only remember a hoof-full of students who received an AΣ. 4 of which were accused of cheating, and they were expelled, and sentenced to a month of imprisonment. The other student had to attend a funeral, so he left and received an excused AΣ.

Memories of the tests fill your head. All you can remember is seeing a bunch of foreign students sitting in the street, sweating in the heat of the summer sun taking a test. You can remember the terrible taste of the juice you were provided with, should you get thirsty during the test. You remember the rough, sandpaper-like blankets you were also provided with for you to sit on, wherever you happened to be sitting.

These tests lasted about eight hours a day, every day (except one Saturday to rest) for two weeks. You remember one specific test on Pony Anatomy where you sat under the shade provided by a nearby building that lasted twelve hours because the testing committee ran out of quills and pencils to give out.

You seriously can’t remember a good thing about those tests. The city was flooded with ponies you’ve never seen before, everypony was sitting on the ground everywhere for about a mile, the tests were long and grueling, and everypony was anxious since scoring below a 65 would mark you as ‘inapt’ and you’d be sent to a terrible school.

Well, there was one plus side to the tests: the feeling your joints made when you got up from a position you’ve been sitting in for 8 hours. Oh, the glorious popping sounds they made.

Well, you honestly can’t be sitting around all day reminiscing about these tests. Are you going to take ‘em or what?

TAKE THE TESTS

I HAVE BOOK ORGANIZING TO DO

IGNORE THE LETTER AND DO SOMETHING ELSE

2

“Well, looks like there was no mail today.” You say as you brew yourself some coffee. You spend the rest of your morning trying to forget that you even checked the mail. Within 3 hours, you manage to forget.

You accompany Rainbow Dash to a book signing, and that turns out to be pretty fun. You got to meet the author of the Daring Do series. You’ll never forget the look on Rainbow’s Face when she got a signed copy of the latest book.

Later, you attend a famous Pinkie Pie Party. The occasion? Apparently, Roseluck’s flower that she named Bernie turned 6 years old. Pinkie decided to throw a party for the occasion, and it was fantastic.

You finally decide to go home and crash for the night. You don’t remember ever getting the mail this morning. You decide you’ll get it tomorrow, and you fall asleep.

The next morning, you feel well rested and exuberant. You make your way outside to get the mail, but then you notice that you never got around to organizing those books.

Rather than fetching the mail, you decide to organize. By the time you’re finished, it’s a quarter to noon. You decide it’s time for a hearty meal. After you feed Spike and assign him a small list of chores, you head out to a Restaurant. On your way, you see Fluttershy and Applejack, and they have the same plans in mind.

You all sit down and enjoy a fine lunch. Tomato sandwiches with a side of hay fries and a massive baked potato laced with cheese. You couldn’t eat another bite afterwards.

The three of you decide to catch a movie before heading home. ‘The Headless Horse returns.’

Fluttershy objected to seeing the movie about a thousand times before you and Applejack convinced her it wasn’t going to be that bad. Besides, it was the only movie showing that day suitable for your age group.

After the movie, Fluttershy was laughing. “You were right!” she giggles. “That movie wasn’t scary at all! I felt bad for the Headless Horse, though. I thought it was cute how he cuddled them all in the end until they fell asleep.”

“Ah don’t think they were sleepin’…” Applejack said with a shudder.

That movie was pretty scary, but you didn’t want to show fear in front of Fluttershy after telling her it wouldn’t be so bad.

You end up walking home by yourself, and every little thing startles you. Once you get into bed, you find it difficult to sleep. You’re up for another hour or two before you finally slip into a deep slumber.

The next morning, you are rudely awakened by the sunlight. You’re still tired and you have no motivation to get up. You look at Spike, who is sleeping soundly in his basket. You decide to make like him, and sleep in.

You wake up at around noontime. Spike is nowhere to be found. You crawl out of bed at a snail’s pace and collapse onto the floor like a rock. It takes you 2 times longer than it normally does to brush your mane.

You find that Spike has completed all his chores in record time. You decide that you will let him oversleep more often if that motivates him to do his chores so quickly.

You decide to spend your day listening to music on a record player you found a month ago. You’ve never used it before, but you now wish you had. It is in pristine condition, and it came with 12 records of fantastic music from various music genres.

A musician named Octavia trots by your library and she hears the music. She smiles, and enters the library with her cello on her back. She decides to play to the music, and this pleases you greatly.

More visitors enter the library at fast rate. They stick around to enjoy the music and, to your surprise, they pick out books. By the end of the day, the library ends up being 55 books lighter. Although it was hard to let some of them go, you remember that they will be returned soon.

The next day, you wake up and brush your mane, and all that jazz, but you also remember to do something you haven’t done in a while. You walk outside and you check the mail. Amidst the large pile of junk mail, you find a letter with the Canterlot Seal of Authentication. You suddenly remember everything the letter entails.

“No regrets.” You tell yourself. You incinerate the scroll with magic and canter back inside.

With that, you spend the entire day doodling in a sketch book. By nighttime, you’ve fully illustrated a shipping comic, pairing Rarity and a large Diamond named Jeff. They live a happy life together, until a huge rock, named Tom, finds out that Rarity has been cheating on him.

You decide to show Spike the comic, but he’s fallen asleep, so you go to bed instead.

The next morning, Rarity decides to drop by for a visit. Spike, of course, glows like a Hearts Warming tree when he sees her. You totally forget about your little comic starring your fabulous friend, and she ends up reading it while you heat up some tea.

“Twilight…” Rarity begins uneasily as she finishes reading your book, “this is…HILARIOUS!”

Not the reaction you were expecting, but you take it over the reaction you were.

“I love a good roast, dear.” She says with a nod.

You and Rarity end up going shopping the whole rest of the day, not purchasing anything to your liking, but enjoying the time you spent with her.

You return home and go to bed rather early.

“Twilight, Twilight!” You hear a voice calling, but you cannot pin point its origin.

“WAKE UP!”

You obey.

Your eyes open one at a time to see Spike with his lip quivering and his eyes glistening. Something serious has happened.

You jolt upright, flinging Spike onto the floor. “What is it, Spike?!” You ask, worriedly.

“A letter from the princess…” He whimpers from the floor.

You levitate the scroll from his claw, but he retains his grip.

“Twilight,” he pleads, “please don’t cry, please don’t cry.”

With that, he lets go of the letter. You give Spike one last look before reading:

Twilight,

I am highly disappointed in you. To think that you, of all ponies, would disrespect me in such a languid manner. When I heard that you didn’t attend the tests, I felt hurt. Betrayed, even. I’ve let you slack off for such a long time, and now I ask that you do a favor for me, and you stab me in the back. Brush me off like dust on a horseshoe. Well I have news for you, Twilight Sparkle. There’s a highly capable student named Trixie who is ready AND WILLING to take your place. She’s been waiting for a reply for quite a while. She came down to take the tests, and she’s doing a fine job.

I regret to inform you, and this will be much harder on me than it will be on you, but you are no longer going to be studying under my wing. I am so sorry, but I just could not have such slacking from my star pupil. You will still be my faithful subject, and a good friend.

Your Princess, Celestia

Your world holds for a minute before its edifice, your sanity, collapses under the weight of the letter in a matter of minutes. Your face sports a wide grin, and your eyes face separate directions. You begin to vibrate uncontrollably.

“Um, Twilight?” Spike calls to you softly.

Those are the last words you hear before you go deaf. A constant ringing replaces your hearing.

“Spike.” You say without any proof that you’re actually saying it other than the vibration in your throat. “Take a letter.”

This is where the world seems much wider. It gets wider and wider until you see the baby dragon return with quill and parchment. This is where you go blind.

“Dear friends,” you start off the letter you can never read, “I’d like to say one thing before I wake up from this terrible dream. I…”

You don’t finish. You can feel Spike beginning to tug on your arm, trying to get you to finish the letter. The gentle tug then becomes an urgent push. He’s panicking.

You don’t even care. Your head feels heavier and heavier. You can feel the back of your eyes starting to hurt more and more. You estimate your body temperature to have risen several degrees past fatal.

Before you lose your voice, you say one more word.

“Pop!”

Next you get a cluster headache. The ringing in your ears gets louder. Your eyes burn like fire. Your teeth feel like they’re about to shoot out of their gums.

Then your head explodes.

At least you didn’t cry.

DEATH BY LETTER

Lemme make a better decision!

4

Spike smiles and runs back to the kitchen. You follow behind him slowly, trying to think of something to cook that will appease him.

By the time you make it to the kitchen, your mind is made.

“How would you like some Twi-cakes?”

“Twi what now?” Spike asks, scratching his forehead.

“They’re flat little disks made of cake batter that you can pour syrup on to enhance the flavor.”

“So, pancakes?” Spike asks, skeptically.

“Yes! Only I add my own special ingredient!”

“Alright Twilight, if you say so.”

You set the stove to high while you search for cake batter. After 3 minutes of searching, you get a little nervous. Eventually, you find a bag of powder labeled ‘batter: add water.’ You breathe a sigh of relief and then you notice something.

Something’s burning.

“Twilight! Come quick!” You hear Spike yell from the kitchen. You rush in and see that your stove caught fire. Instinctively, you levitate a bag of baking soda and pour its contents over the fire, putting it out almost instantly.

You sigh, once again, and cause a puff of baking soda to fly by Spike’s nose.

“Ahhh…” Spike is about to sneeze.

There really isn’t anything you can do. You jump behind a bookcase and take cover.

Spike seems to be suppressing his sneeze, but his attempts were in vain. With a loud ‘ACHOO’ Spike managed to ignite the gas stove. The fire doubles in size. You try to put it out with water, levitating bucket loads of it onto the fire, but the attempts are futile. Spike runs off (apologizing) to get help from the fire department. It will take them about 5 minutes to reach your house.

During that time, you use your magic to barricade the fire, preventing its growth. You need to back up to get a good look at the whole blaze. Unfortunately, you trip on a book.

You fall over, and bust your head on the edge of the counter. You black out.

By the time you wake up, most of the library is on fire. You’re pinned down by debris from the roof. You can hear your name being called, but it’s impossible to track to origin of the voices.

Your skin feels awfully hot, and you catch a large whiff of burning hair.

You look down and notice that your tail is on fire. ‘That can’t be good.’ You think to yourself. You try to cast a rain spell, which is something you could have done from the get-go, now that you think about it.

Right before you could cast it, a flaming piece of debris falls on your head.

You writhe and burn in searing hot agony under the heavy wooden wreckage. You start to asphyxiate from the lack of oxygen, and your skin begins to burn, boil and fry.

Eventually, and inevitably, you die.

You’ll never make Twi-cakes again.

DEATH BY BACONIZATION

Lemme give it another shot!

7

You decide to take your mind off of Spike for now. You’re over reacting. Spike wasn’t gone long enough to worry. He’ll be fine.

Besides, with the new constraint you put on the order of your books, you’d better get to work.

After about another hour or so, you find your journal. You haven’t really used it since you were a filly, so you were surprised to see it amongst the books on the shelves. You flip through it to reminisce.

After about 15 minutes of giggling at the doodles of your old doll, Smarty Pants, and Star Swirl the Bearded, you decide to add more doodles into the book.

You draw a quick sketchy picture of you and your friends in your hot air balloon, save for Rainbow Dash, who is flying alongside the vehicle. You only have one thing to draw before you think it’s complete.

You quickly doodle Spike on your back. That’s when you realize he’s been gone for quite some time now.

SEARCH FOR SPIKE

GO TO SLEEP

8

Your motherly instincts drive you to worry. Many scenarios flow through your head. He could be getting pushed around by bullies! He could be talking to strangers! Dear Celestia, Spike could be selling drugs!

You bolt out of your door like a super hero. You scan your horizons and realize something:

Spike could be anywhere.

Search Town Square

Search Sugar Cube Corner

Search the Everfree forest

Search Rarity’s Boutique

10

You decide to search the central hub of Ponyville, Town Square. Spike would have had to pass by here if he was going to a restaurant of any sort. You find yourself next to Town Hall, calling out his name. You ask random ponies if they had seen your equally purple companion. Nopony answers yes, and this unnerves you.

Every little thing that could be Spike brings your hopes up, only to find that it’s a balloon, or wheel to a carrot cart.

Spike is obviously not here, but he has to be someplace.

Search Sugar Cube Corner

Search the Everfree forest

Search Rarity’s Boutique

12

“Perhaps.” You say. “Despite the fact that it isn’t Wednesday yet.”

Every Wednesday, you, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie, all gather around to drink tea. The setting for the get-together is decided by playing a game of the host’s choice. The loser has to host the next gathering.

It’s been a while since you’ve had tea at Rarity’s house. You’ve come to miss her fine marble tea set. Each sip made you feel fancy.

“I’ll have some tea.” You decide.

“Splendid!” Rarity cheers. “I’ll prepare it. Please, sit.”

You have yourself a seat at Rarity’s work table. It’s cluttered with muslin, papers, pins, needles, and threads. Aside from the pins and needles, something has been cut in some way. A sewing machine lay adjacent to you on the table as well. A small light bulb glows vibrantly in the machine.

You try to think of where Spike could be in an effort to plan the next search location, and before you know it, Rarity is back, levitating two cups of tea beside her.

“I apologize for the delay, Twilight.” She says as she pushes a fraction of the items on the table to the floor, making room for the tea cups. “I ran out of our normal tea. I had to make up a new recipe.”

Intrigued, you ask, “What are the ingredients?”

“Well, I just threw in some hibiscus, peaches, orange peels, lemon peels, apples, chicory, strawberry leaves, some other things I thought would taste good, and some rose hips.”

The recipe sounded oddly familiar, but you keep that to yourself.

You go to take your first sip of Rarity’s concoction when a strong aroma breaches your nostrils. It smells like a candle; very potent. You sip with caution, and immediately you notice that the flavor is way too strong. The hot liquid attacks your tongue with an awful tang. You make a face of utter disgust.

“Um…” Rarity goes, “perhaps you need some sugar?”

Rarity pours in a scoop of sugar into your cup and stirs it with a metal spoon. You hesitate to take another sip, but, inevitably, you do.

You find that the strong taste from before has been successfully diluted, and the flavor is now much more pleasant. With every sip, you seem to identify each ingredient. You aren’t used to this new tea, so you can’t really see yourself drinking it every day, but it’s good.

You find yourself holding a trivial conversation with Rarity. It lasts just as long as your herbal beverage. By then, you realize you’re wasting precious time.

You thank Rarity for her hospitality, and try to return to your search. Naturally, Rarity offers to help you look. You have to deny her multiple times before she insists.

So, the two of you search the nearby area. There is no sign of Spike for miles. You even check a few restaurants nearby to see if Spike has checked in. After a while, you walk Rarity home. After you thank her for her efforts, you return to searching solo.

Search Sugar Cube Corner

Search the Everfree forest

Search Town Square

13

You search everywhere high and low, and in every nook and cranny. Night falls, and you’re starting to lose hope of finding Spike. You tell yourself multiple times that you’ll find him. This is only to calm you, though. Realistically, he could really be gone.

You find yourself trotting to the only place you haven’t looked. The Everfree forest. You find it highly unlikely that Spike would wander into the forest for no reason, but you decide to search there anyway.

Along the way, you visit Fluttershy, and ask her if she’s seen Spike. Of course, she replies with a no. However, she asks if it’d be okay for her to assist you.

You certainly don’t refuse the offer. Fluttershy could calm down nearly any savage creature you may encounter. You trust your life with her talents, and head into the infinitely dark forest.

The first thing you notice upon entering the forest is how dark it is. Of course it’s dark, though.

“It’s…dark.” Fluttershy whispers, almost as if she’s waiting for you to do something about it.

You face-hoof yourself before you light the cave with your horn. With the cave lit, you can actually see fresh hoofprints in the soil. They lead off the trail, deep into the forest. Suddenly, it begins to rain.

The rain is a powerful, hard-hitting rain. It came so suddenly, so fast, it catches you off guard. Fluttershy pulls a massive leaf over her head. You try to search for one, but Fluttershy covers your head with her wing instead.

You look up at the treetops, and you can’t understand where the rain is coming from.

You return your gaze at the ground, and notice that the hoofprints at slowly disappearing. Those hoofprints could be washed away in a matter of minutes.

“What should we do, Twilight?” Fluttershy has to yell over the roaring downpour.

FOLLOW THE HOOFPRINTS

SEARCH ALONG THE PATH

14

“Let’s search along the path!” You yell. “It’s useless you follow those hoofprints! They’ll be gone before we can reach the source! Besides, Spike doesn’t have hooves!”

Fluttershy understands your logic, and the two of you gallop along the path together. After about a minute or two, you both hide under a large plant providing cover from the rain.

Just then, something taps you on the shoulder.

You turn around to see a rather large creature. You shine your horn on it to seen that it holds no physical form. Its phantasmal body flies in close to your face.

You identify this creature as a Taraxippus, a ghost that scares equines. You gulp at the sight of it. You know that Taraxippoi don’t necessarily attack ponies. They only scare them. You try to take Pinkie’s advice, and you laugh at the phantom. It laughs with you. Its laugh is faint and very unnerving.

You look over to your left to ask Fluttershy for help. That’s when you notice her running home.

“Fluttershy! Wait up!” You yell.

Suddenly, something slaps you on the rear. It scares you greatly, causing you to scream and run with reckless abandon. You smash into tree branches, and collide into a large spider’s web, scarring you even more. You twist and tumble about in fear, gritting your teeth with eyes closed. You can hardly notice the rain anymore. You can hardly notice anything anymore, but the coating of spider web over your head and the false feelings of spiders crawling up and down your poor pony body.

You begin to screech and cry. You start moving on two legs, using your fore hooves and your magic to try to get the spider web off of you. You’re too afraid to concentrate, so you can’t even levitate the web off of you properly. You realize that the rain is making the web almost adhere to your fur like Velcro. This realization causes you to start spitting and yowling, much like a drenched cat.

Eventually, you end up running yourself off a cliff. The sudden plummet frightens you more than anything. You’re falling for what seems like an eternity when you feel yourself violently splash into a body of water.

You feel yourself sinking deeper into the liquid. The cacophonous noise the rain made is gone, and has now been replaced with the low base of the water.

You unclench your teeth and open your eyes to see pitch blackness. The cool water calms you, and you become less tense. You light the water with your horn, and immediately regret the decision to do so.

There seems to be thousands of creatures from a variety of species staring at you. All kinds of piranha, and other carnivorous sea creatures stare at you hungrily.

Teleport, Twilight. Teleport elsewhere. You think to yourself. You can’t seem to obey your own request. You can’t even move. You realize that you’re in shock.

The sea creatures move in slowly, almost as if they’re teasing you. They seem to know how helpless you are. The creatures are now bearing their teeth, grinning mischievously at you.

Your lungs are beginning to give out. You exhale slightly to release a bit of pressure in your chest, but it doesn’t help much. You lose all reasonable thought. Your mind now starts placing bets on how you will die first. The left side of your brain believes you’ll drown before you’re eaten. The right side of your brain believes you’ll be eaten, bit by bit, then you’ll purposely drown yourself, taking the easy way out.

Either way, you’re a dead little pony.

By the way, the right side probably won.

DEATH BY FISHIES

Let’s… try that again.

15

“Let’s follow the hoofprints!” You yell over the rain. “It’s our only lead, after all!”

Fluttershy nods her head to agree. “Besides, somepony else could be lost in here!” She yells back.

You each decide to gallop along the path of hoofprints, straying dangerously far from the real trail. The rain is doing a good job wiping away the hoof prints. After a minute of galloping, they’re becoming harder to see.

Inevitably, the trail disappears. Without hesitation, however, you and Fluttershy continue trotting where you expect the trail to lead. You continue walking pointlessly until Fluttershy stops trotting.

“I don’t think we’re going to find anypony!” she says.

You look around a bit until you come to the same conclusion. You’re just about to walk back when you hear what sounds like Pinkie Pie’s voice in the distance. She’s screaming.

You and Fluttershy exchange glances before you both take off in that direction with great speed. You each bound over fallen branches and swoop around trees in an almost serpentine fashion. To your left, you see Fluttershy tuck-and-roll under a branch into a slide under another all in one swift move. She gallops back up with ease. You make a mental note that Fluttershy has enhanced ability when somepony needs help.

You were so engrossed in trivial thought that you nearly missed the large, savage creature looming over its prey. Pinkie Pie. To your surprise, you see a startled Spike clinging to the pink mare’s soaked cotton candy tail.

Lightning strikes overhead, illuminating the dark forest. You identify the savage creature to be a large manticore. Its teeth are barred, and its stinger is poised to strike.

It’s a good thing you found Spike, but this scene produces many questions in your head. What was Spike doing with Pinkie in the Everfree forest? Why were they out so late?

It was no time to speculate. Pinkie Pie and Spike were about to become tasty manticore treats. There is absolutely no time to lose. The first thing you think of is the fact that Fluttershy is with you. She’s tamed beasts of the likes of this one with ease. You’re glad she came along.

You’re just about to call out to her when you notice Pinkie Pie taking her off in another direction.

“This is no place for a shy pony like you, Fluttershy!” She screams as she whisks your only chance of saving Spike away. Fluttershy waves at you worriedly, as if to both apologize, and wish you good luck.

You see Spike cower in fear beneath the shadow of the large creature that came from another flash of lightning. He’s not going to survive if you stand idly by.

You have to do something.

CLIMB A TREE AND SWOOP DOWN LIKE TARZAN TO SAVE SPIKE

TRY TO SET THE MANTICORE ABLAZE

CALL THE BEAST MEAN NAMES

TELEPORT SPIKE TO SAFETY

17

Your inner hero is calling to your from inside your being. As Spike cowers in the shadow of the manticore, you cannot help but notice the vine that sways overhead.

Tarzan. You think to yourself.

You gallop towards a tree and begin to climb it. This tree provides a nice grip, despite the pouring rain, and plenty of branches for you to climb. You ascend with ease, making your way to the vine that will aid you in saving Spike’s life in a matter of a few minutes.

You’re just shy of 15 meters off the ground. The height is giving you second thoughts. You see Spike, and he’s now been backed into a corner. The manticore looms over him menacingly. You have no choice but to act.

You swing from your vine without further hesitation.

“AHHHHHHHHHAHHHAHHHAHH!” You yell as you accelerate towards the ground.

The manticore turns and swipes its claws at you. It misses by a hair, causing you to flinch. You think you’re in the clear. However, you notice the vine you’re holding isn’t providing much grip.

You look to see that the vine is no longer attached to the tree.

You are plummeting.

And an idiot.

DEATH BY FALL

There’s a better way around this, I know it!

18

Spike yells in horror as the Manticore rears up to strike with its massive claws. Your eyes widen, when you think of an obvious solution.

You concentrate your magic for a split second, and find yourself right next to Spike. You repeat the mystical maneuver and suddenly find yourself in the sanctity of the library.

You’ve successfully teleported Spike to safety. You feel light headed, and assume you’ve used up all your energy teleporting. You scan your surroundings, and find that you’re on the floor in the center of the library. It’s dark, since you left before you’ve lit any candles. It’s still raining outside, but not as hard as it was in the forest.

“That was a close one, Twilight! Thanks!” Spike says joyfully.

For some reason, you cannot find the strength to reply. You try to stand up, but you don’t have the energy to do so. You feel cold.

Spike goes around lighting the candles in the library. Green light flashes for a second every moment or so as the room illuminates progressively. You remain on the floor, feeling everything become slightly more… distant.

Spike continues to light candles upstairs. You’re only company at this point is the pitter-patter of the rain that you can faintly hear, and Owlowiscious, who’s just awakened from his morning sleep.

Spike returns downstairs with a candle in his claw.

“Sorry about being out so late, Twilight. Pinkie and I-”

Spike’s abrupt end to his story caught your attention. You try to turn and see what his deal was. Spike is staring right at you. His eyes are wide enough to catch the reflection of every candle in the room. His pupils have been shrunken from grapes to raisins. Owlowiscious seems to be perplexed by something as well.

You wonder what they could possibly be gawking at. By tracing their gaze, it becomes clear to you.

During your escape, the Manticore must’ve caught you. Its massive claws could tear through a pony of your size with ease.

“Where are the rest of my legs…” you choke out. You find yourself coughing up coagulated blood.

It seems you weren’t able to teleport fast enough.

Now you’re half the pony you once were.

DEATH BY TERRIBLE PUN

Retry, retry!

19

You have no idea why, but something compels you to revert to more…childish tactics. The manticore slowly closes in on Spike. In his eyes, he’s hopeless.

“Hey, you!” you yell out to the manticore. “The one with the…ugly face!”

The manticore turns to you, its drenched mane borders its face, and its bared teeth scare you half to death. You’re not exactly sure what you’re going to accomplish by calling the beast mean names, but honestly, you feel like it’s worth a shot.

“You’re stupid, a-and you’re not very nice!” You stutter cruelly.

Spike tosses a disgusted look your way. He probably doesn’t appreciate your help as much as you think he should.

“Your mother is so ugly,” you search your head for a punch line, “that the only thing uglier than her is you!”

The manticore growls menacingly. It takes a few steps back from Spike, and, surprisingly, it begins to cry.

Spike walks up to you casually, seeming slightly disappointed in you. You now feel a bit compelled to apologize to the creature. You trot towards the sobbing beast and begin to stroke his back.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You try to apologize to the manticore for your rude behavior. The manticore eventually calms down and walks away alone in the rain.

You feel ashamed, but Spike’s safe. You teleport him back to the library.

The first thing that you notice is that you’re dripping wet, and you’re getting the rug damp. With a sigh, you levitate the water off your coat. Spike finds himself dry, naturally due to his slick, waterproof scales.

After a long and tiring day of accomplishing a rescue mission, you find yourself retiring for the night.

Continue

20

The next four days are uneventful. You’ve hoped to get some reading done, but you’ve found that lounging about outside was a more relaxing way to spend your time. Of course, you’ve conducted experiments on important matters like the wind speed under a cloud vs. wind speed under clear sky just to pre-occupy yourself.

During your tea-time with Rarity and Pinkie Pie, however (in the library), you receive an unexpected letter from the mail mare.

“I brought you a letter!” the blonde, pegasus mare cheers.

“Thank you, Derpy.” You reply, levitating the letter into the building. You immediately notice the Canterlot Seal of Authentication. Usually, these letters are delivered via Spike, so you can only assume that this is regarding those tests.

“What is it!?” Pinkie asks gleefully.

“Something important.” You remark, worriedly.

You remove the seal carefully, hearing every sound it makes as it leaves from the parchment. Your anxiety must be heightening your senses. You levitate the letter to eye level, and begin to read aloud.

Twilight,

I am highly disappointed in you. To think that you, of all ponies, would disrespect me in such a languid manner. When I heard that you didn’t attend the tests, I felt hurt. Betrayed, even. I’ve let you slack off for such a long time, and now I ask that you do a favor for me, and you stab me in the back. Brush me off like dust on a horseshoe. Well I have news for you, Twilight Sparkle. There’s a highly capable student named Trixie who is ready AND WILLING to take your place. She’s been waiting for a reply for quite a while. She came down to take the tests, and she’s doing a fine job.

I regret to inform you, and this will be much harder on me than it will be on you, but you are no longer going to be studying under my wing. I am so sorry, but I just could not have such slacking from my star pupil. You will still be my faithful subject, and a good friend.

Your Princess, Celestia

Your heart stops. You look up from the paper to stare into space. Pinkie and Rarity understand what’s going on, and try their best to console you.

“I’m so sorry, Twilight…” Rarity’s consolation fails, and you’re probably going to disown her as a friend soon.

“Cheer up, Twilight!” Pinkie begins with unnecessary pep, already upsetting you, “maybe you’ll find a better tea-”

You levitate Pinkie into the air in blind rage. Without any hesitation, you slam her down onto the table, breaking your tea set, and splashing hot tea into the air. The sound of glass shattering fills the room, along with a feeling so tense, it’s suffocating.

“Say it!” You yell, losing all control of yourself. “Say it! Say it, Pinkie! Say it! I’d love to hear you say it!”

Pinkie, who is covered in glass shards and steaming hot tea, shudders. “A better teacher…” she finally manages to say in a shy manner.

You slam Pinkie into the table, breaking it asunder. Wood splinters fling every which way across the room. You slam Pinkie 3 more times onto the wreckage and chuck her body into a bookshelf, knocking its contents out and onto Pinkie’s body.

Pinkie coughs and spits out blood after she emerges from the avalanche of books. She then begins to sob in such a depressing way, you come to your senses. Rarity stood by and watched the whole thing, too shocked to do anything. Spike came in to see what's going on.

You look at Pinkie who is crying more than you’d seen anypony cry in the longest time. Her sobs are interrupted by sickly coughs. You assume you’ve collapsed her lung.

Spike runs over to Pinkie and attempts to give her aid. “What happened?!” He yells as he tries to remove all the books from Pinkie’s body.

You have to take Pinkie to the hospital. You leap over the broken table and levitate Pinkie from the book pile. She begins to writhe in fear, and whimper, trying to escape.

“Put me down!” She chokes. “I’m sorry! Please, no more!”

You’re crying, and muddling apologies to yourself. You storm out of the house, leaving a frozen Rarity and a concerned Spike behind. You make it halfway towards the hospital when your mind clears up just enough to remember that you could teleport there.

On that thought, you check Pinkie, only to find that she isn’t breathing. Blood oozes out from her mouth. You quickly teleport Pinkie to the emergency room, hoping it isn’t too late.

“HELP! HELP!” You cry, catching the attention of every eye in the room.

Quickly, a team of professionals whisks Pinkie away to another room. You try to follow, but you’re stopped at the doorway by a nurse. The door shuts in your face.

You’ve been waiting for good news on Pinkie for the last 3 hours. You’re tired, but can’t seem to fall asleep. You don’t think you’ll be sleeping after your tantrum. Pinkie got seriously hurt due to your reckless outburst.

“Ma’am…” A stallion walks out from the room, causing you to jump up out of your seat. He sighs, and searches his mind for words.

“We were hoping that her only major injury was the collapsed lung, but…upon entering her body, we discovered extensive internal damage…” You stare at the doctor wildly, not catching the hint. He sighs once more. “She didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

“She’s dead.” You say a crack in your voice. “That’s all you have to say. No need to sugarcoat what I’ve…”

Sugarcoat. That’s what set off all the tears. One of your closest friends is dead due to some stupid tantrum you had. She died in fear of you. She never heard you say sorry. You don’t care if Celestia never teaches you again.

You just want to have Pinkie back,

and that’s how you’re going to feel for the rest of your life.

BAD END

Dammit! DAMMIT! NOOOOOO!! Re-do!

This story blows.

22

You decide that cheaper is better, and set out for an air journey. You notify Spike as to where you’re going and give him a small list of things to do, and ponies to call when he’s in trouble with any of those things.

You decide to pack lightly, bringing only an abacus, a sun dial, a compass, a gyroscope, a retort and burner, a map, 3 textbooks on chemistry, 2 textbooks on astrophysics, 5 small books on geometry, 30 #2 pencils, 10 charcoal pencils, a drafting board with 100 sheets of 11X17 paper, 2 lead holders with 7H lead and 2B lead, a globe, an alchemical unit conversion sheet, 40 vials of assorted elements, a meter stick, a scale, a dial caliper, 31 fiction novels, a dictionary, 12 blank composition notebooks, a Ouija board, a spectrometer, an ohmmeter, a laser pointer, a soldering kit, a box of assorted screwdrivers, a Walkmare mp3 player, a list of funny riddles and puns, a box of chocolates from Germany and Fillitalia, a can of coffee beans, your coffee/tea maker along with the tea set, a pair of sunglasses, a crossbow with 8 bolts, a pillow, and your toothbrush.

You somehow manage to fit these items in 5 standard suitcases. You levitate your baggage into the basket of your hot air balloon. Before you light the burner, a familiar voice calls out your name. You turn to the source of the voice and you spot your friends.

“Hi, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie calls out to you. “We heard you’d be away for a while, so I threw you a ‘Going Away for a While’ party!”

I love that filly. You think to yourself. You thank Pinkie and the rest of your 5 friends for their company. You decide to unwind before departing on your boring adventure.

The afternoon is enjoyably pleasant. So far, you’ve had a picnic and ate chocolate cake with butter-cream icing and marzipan candies. Applejack brought apple pie for everypony, and that was fantastic.

You each conversed about trivial, yet entertaining happenstances in your lives. Fluttershy told a story on how she tricked Angel into thinking he was a cat. Very amusing. Applejack told a story on how she was in a battle with an unkindness of ravens. Very funny. Rarity told a story on how she sewed a dress for a princess in a far away country. Very scandalous. And Pinkie told a story on how she had a dream about taking Spike to a forest and then being murdered brutally by you. Very ominous. Rainbow Dash just laughed along with every pony else, and didn’t really have much to talk about. She slept in for the past week, and when she was awake, she was practicing.

To end the party, you all watched the sun set. It was a beautiful sight.

You now find yourself up in your hot air balloon. Everypony waved goodbye as you took off towards Canterlot.

The ride is ever pleasant. You’re listening to soothing music as you ascend into the night sky. The stars are calming and every note from your Walkmare Mp3 player seems to put you in a lax state. You lie on your surprisingly soft suitcases on the floor of the basket and gaze at the crescent moon. The song you were listening to transitions to a more soothing one so smoothly, you don’t even notice.

Your eyes are becoming heavier and heavier. Despite the fact that you could get up right now and see what’s going on, you suddenly don’t even want to be bothered with such a responsibility. You feel trapped in your own relaxation, tranced-out by the cosmos and the soft melody’s sudden transition to a more passionate one is the only thing keeping you awake. You lie, awake, gawking endlessly at the moon, then the backs of your eye lids, then the moon again, all in accordance to your music.

You progressively and inevitably begin to dose off.

Your eyes open slowly to see a large fire. The immense heat startles you. You jolt up abruptly and survey your surroundings. You find that the balloon has been snagged on a cliff’s sharp edge. Your basket caught fire due to the fuel leaking from the burner and drenching the outside of it.

You notice that the fire is still going and you quickly try to teleport away from the imminent explosion. You come up short and find yourself blown sky high by the shock wave. You plummet down to the ground quicker than you know it.

Then you turn into a pony pancake.

Death by Trauma

FUUUUUUU! How does that even happen?!

23

You decide you’re going to travel by train anyway, despite the cost of the trip. You kindly ask Spike to purchase a ticket in advance while you pack. You give him enough bits for a ticket and a few extra for him to do as he pleases.

You decide to pack lightly, bringing only an abacus, a sun dial, a compass, a gyroscope, a retort and burner, a map, 3 textbooks on chemistry, 2 textbooks on astrophysics, 5 small books on geometry, 30 #2 pencils, 10 charcoal pencils, a drafting board with 100 sheets of 11X17 paper, 2 lead holders with 7H lead and 2B lead, a globe, an alchemical unit conversion sheet, 40 vials of assorted elements, a meter stick, a scale, a dial caliper, 31 fiction novels, a dictionary, 12 blank composition notebooks, a ouija board, a spectrometer, an ohmmeter, a laser pointer, a soldering kit, a box of assorted screwdrivers, a Walkmare mp3 player, a list of funny riddles and puns, a box of chocolates from Germany and Fillitalia, a can of coffee beans, your coffee/tea maker along with the tea set, a pair of sunglasses, a crossbow with 8 bolts, a pillow, and your toothbrush.

You use your magic to shrink everything to a manageable size and fit it all in your satchel. You wait for Spike to return when you see somepony at the door. You open it to see that it’s your friends.

“Hiya, Twilight!” Pinkie cheers. “We hear you were going away, so I’d decided to throw a ‘Going Away for a Short While’ party!”

Déjà vu. You think to yourself. Pinkie’s awesome.

You thank Pinkie and the rest of your 5 friends for their company. You decide to unwind before departing on your boring adventure.

The afternoon is enjoyably pleasant. So far, you’ve had a picnic and ate chocolate cake with butter-cream icing and marzipan candies. Applejack brought apple pie for everypony, and that was fantastic. Spike then returned with your ticket and joined the party.

You each conversed about trivial, yet entertaining happenstances in your lives. Fluttershy told a story on how she tricked Angel into thinking he was a cat. Very amusing. Applejack told a funny story on how she was in a battle with an unkindness of ravens. Very funny. Rarity told a story on how she sewed a dress for a princess in a far away country. Very scandalous. And Pinkie told a story on how she had a dream about taking Spike to a forest and then being murdered brutally by you. This creeped you out to hear. Rainbow Dash just laughed along with every pony else, for her time off of work had been uneventful.

You decide you have to go before the sun sets. Spike was smart enough to get a ticket for the 5:00 train. It will be at the station soon. You hug your friends goodbye and depart.

You canter down town and encounter a food stand. Despite the picnic, you do find yourself surprisingly hungry. Perhaps you have a second stomach for lunchtime?

I just ate. I’ll get over it.

Yeah, I should eat.

24

You decide to buy some food for the trip. The train ride is about an hour or so, so food is a good idea.

You survey the food stand’s options for snacks. There are a bunch of assorted snacks that you like, and they’re all extremely inexpensive. Torn between all of your favorite foods, you decide to settle with the seasoned fries, since you’ve never tried fries with a special seasoning, and trying something new is a good thing.

The price is ridiculously low: ½ bit. You wait by the stand for your meal to be cooked. The aroma is purely teasing. You begin to salivate at the sweet scent. You can’t help but gawk at the chef making your meal.

After 3 minutes or so, your meal is complete, and fresh. The chef pours a huge amount of large, brown fries into a box. The fries are still sizzling a bit.

You find it insane that the fries are half a bit and you get so much. You try to pay, but realize you have no change for a bit.

“Um…”

“I’ve baked you two batches, if that’s okay.” The chef says to your delight.

“Thank you, very much!” you pay with one bit coin and seat yourself at the station bench not too far from the stand. You set the two large boxes of steaming goodness beside you. Your eyes sparkle at the sight of them. Realizing you can no longer wait, you levitate the first fry to your mouth.

It’s glorious. The fries are still a little hot, so you find yourself airing out your mouth and making slight fan motions with your hoof. You can, however, still taste the fry. The first bite had a soft crisp that you instantly fell in love with. The fry is sweet, but the seasoning is salty, making for a perfect balance. Saliva rushes through your mouth. You’re chewing, and it seems that the fry almost melted away.

Heaven. That fry is the single best fry you’ve ever tasted. You’re lost in awe, and you’re staring into space. Suddenly, you remember the huge amount of other fries. They’ve cooled a bit, so you decide to eat two at once.

Without the heat, the fries are godly. You can better taste the potato, which was probably the best potato ever. You can also taste the spices, which perfectly complement the fry.

You decide to eat more, and more, taking care to eat with manners, but helping yourself to as many as you desire at once. You’re getting fuller, and your stomach protests to your eating anymore, but each fry coaxes you to continue. Like little devils, the fries force you to eat more than you’ve ever eaten in one sitting. Your stomach begins to hurt severely, and you’re only done with the first box.

You gawk at the second box and tell yourself you don’t need it. You really don’t, but you’re addicted. You begin eating and eating again. The fries are even starting to lose their initial appeal on you. You just find yourself psychologically stuck eating. Suddenly, you don’t feel very good. You teleport yourself (with great struggle) to the nearest filly’s room.

Your head hurts all of a sudden now that you’re standing, and you have the feeling that you need to vomit. So you do so. Violently. It’s extremely painful in every way. You have a heavy dull feeling in your head, and a sharp tearing feeling in your stomach. Your throat burns with the whole ordeal. After you think you’ve puked up everything you ate since yesterday, you start to vomit congealed blood.

The dark crimson, coagulated substance shocks you, and you begin to panic. You’re still vomiting however, and you begin to feel light headed and queasy. Life slips away from you slowly, and after you lose consciousness, you’re dead, to put it simply.

What a dumb way to go.

DEATH BY YUM FRIES

That’s bull crap.

25

You bypass the stand and make your way to the station. You’re hungry, but you can probably eat in Canterlot.

The station is slightly packed with passengers awaiting the train. Some of which you know aren’t from Ponyville, and they’re probably hitching a ride home. The multicultural feel fills the station with a colorful atmosphere. You find yourself waiting alone on the bench until somepony sits beside you. It’s Minuette, or ‘Colgate,’ your dentist.

“Hey, Colgate!” You greet the blue unicorn mare.

“Oh!” Her ears perk up at you. “Hey Twilight! What brings you to the station?”

“I’m heading to Canterlot.” You say with a bit of a sigh.

“So am I.” She says to your surprise. “I’ve gotta take the T.W.A.T.s”

You both giggle like foals.

“So do I! I got the letter in the mail and everything!”

“Cool! Hey, do you have a place to stay in Canterlot?” Colgate asks rather straightforwardly.

The question sinks into your brain, and you realize that you don’t really have anyplace to stay.

“I haven’t really thought about that yet.” You admit.

“That’s cool! You can come stay with us!” Colgate says happily.

“Us? Who else is coming along?”

“It’s Lyra. She’s from Canterlot.”

“Oh, I know who she is.” You explain. “She was one of my neighbors back when I lived there.”

Colgate looks at you for a second before speaking again. “You should really eat something. It’s going to be a pretty long trip.”

You shake your head. “No, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? We may not be eating tonight, if you do decide to stay with Lyra and I.”

You decide that eating wouldn’t be a terrible idea.

Oh all right.

You walk back to the food stand from before and meet Lyra. She’s currently ordering tatter tots.

You each make your quick greetings and you look towards the menu.

You’re pretty hungry, so you’re deciding to order a rather large meal. The prices are very low, and you can easily afford even the most expensive meal.

The larger meals consist of:

DANDELION SALAD (w/ any dressing) 2 Bits (27)

TATER TOTS (w/ any side) 2 ½ Bits

BAKED POTATO & CELERY STICKS (w/ Hay fries) 3 ½ Bits

SPICY PEPPER NACHOS (w/ any side) 4 Bits

26

You decide to purchase the tatter tots. It’s been a while since you’ve had a good plate of tots. It only takes a few minutes for the chef to prepare the sizzling golden tots.

Lyra, of course in making the same choice herself, commends you.

You levitate the tot to your mouth, eager to eat.

Colgate then begins idle conversation about dentistry.

Suddenly, your mouth feels like a sauna. A volcano sauna. In the summer. On the sun. Those tots were hot. So hot, it burned a hole through the roof of your mouth, and melted down your throat.

The sheer shock kills you.

A tater tot.

DEATH BY A TATER TOT

W-what?!

27

You decide to choose the healthier (more for your coin purse) decision. Lyra makes a face at you as if your were about to eat molten manure.

The dish takes virtually no time to prepare. You pay, and you trot back to Colgate.

You’re enjoying your salad with Colgate and Lyra as you discuss your game plan for when you all Arrive in Canterlot.

“I think we should do it systematically.” You suggest, typically.

“Why don’t we just bum at the castle?” Lyra suggests. “The foreign foals got to do it when we took ‘em. Besides, don’t you have connections with the princess, Twilight?”

Lyra makes a good point, but the idea is surprisingly impractical due to the fact that you don’t want to take up a room that poor little foals could be using.

“Why can’t we just cross that bridge when we get there?” Colgate suggests.

You shrug your shoulders. You really hate being unprepared for anything, but you wouldn’t want to bring that up since you didn’t even think of booking a hotel.

Suddenly, a buzzing passes by your ear. It’s a humble bumble bee. You have a bad history with bees, so for some reason the little guy ends it’s own life just to sting you.

You scoff at the foolish insect until you notice a small deviation in the surprisingly living bee’s stinger.

It’s covered in blue polka dots. Poison Joke.

You conclude that the bee flew from the Everfree forest. Just to sting you.

You watch as the bee begins to play around in your salad as you wonder what the effects the Poison Joke had on the bee.

Then it hits you.

Bees usually die after they sting somepony.

Does that mean…

DEATH BY BEE STING

NOT THE BEES! NO!!

28

You love nachos, so you choose to buy those, naturally. Lyra respects your choice, and immediately wishes she had chosen as wisely as you have. You idle about the food stand for about 3 minutes or so until your fresh nachos are finished. The corn chips are sun baked, and the cheese looks aged to perfection. Everything steams into your face, causing a waterfall of saliva that could compete with the falls by the palace.

You walk back to the bench with Colgate and lick your lips. Colgate asks if she could try a chip, noticing how delicious they look. Reluctantly, you share a chip with her. She’s going to be paying for your room and board, right? You levitate a perfectly cheese, bean, and sauce coated chip into Colgate’s mouth. She takes a lady like nibble before snatching the whole thing from your magical reach.

“That was fantastic!” Colgate cheers, licking her teeth. “Pretty spicy, though.”

Lyra suddenly stops eating and stares at Colgate in a sudden look of fear.

You levitate a chip into your mouth and chew. It had the cheese, but you didn’t get a good amount of sauce on it. None the less, it tasted top notch.

“You thought that was spicy?” Lyra asked, cautiously.

“Yeah. It was pretty darn spicy.”

“Colgate. I thought you couldn’t taste spicy foods.”

“Normally, no, but I guess this stuff is special.”

You levitate a master chip into the air. It’s fully drenched with cheddar and Equestrian nacho cheese, beans, and special spicy sauce. It’s a dish all in it’s own.

Lyra’s eyes widen at the chip, then, oddly, they water.

Your eyes begin to water too, for some unknown reason. You decide not to think about it and you just throw the chip down the hatch.

The spiciness hits you pretty fast, and you begin to smile. You’ve eaten spicy foods before, so you’re familiar with the taste.

However, the spicy sensation you’re experiencing doubles to a furious pain. Your mouth is pulsating with heat. The pain is so immense, it confuses you.

You open your mouth, and see the tongue of a flame. Lyra and Colgate jump at the sight. Lyra runs to fetch you some milk, while Colgate gives you water.

You down the entire glass quickly, only to find that the flames have traveled down your esophagus. The sauce has spread from the water, and you’re now, uncontrollably, breathing fire.

Your throat, stomach, mouth, eyes, nose, and everything else burn like the sun. Fire escapes from your nostrils every time you close your mouth, and it’s a scorching agony. You’re now running around, causing a scene with your mouth agape.

Lyra had returned with a jug of milk. She runs over to you, only to be burned alive by the wild flamethrower that is you.

You turn away from her and catch a glimpse of a charred body. Ponies everywhere are calling paramedics and the fire squad. You can’t control the flames coming from your mouth. Colgate tries to help, but she is also killed viciously by the harsh inferno.

You can’t stop. The pain is so much, that you run towards the lake to submerge yourself. You’re running downtown, not knowing where you’re going, really. You’re going where you assume the lake could be found.

You notice that you’re causing death and despair all around you. You can’t help it. You try to close your mouth and bare with the pain, but the fire shoots out of your nostrils into somepony’s window, roasting them instantly.

“Stop! Ponyville guard!”

You hear a cry through the flames.

“Stop! Or we’ll attack you!”

You foolishly turn to the sound, only to hear screams of agony.

“Vanguard! Damn! Stop or we’ll take you down, you vile witch!”

You close your mouth and hold your head to the floor, having your nostril fire burn nothing but the cobble stone.

A stallion is being assisted with the flames on his back, and the whole scene of the city is just pure wreckage. The town has suffered a great conflagration with unthinkable casualties. You cry, from the infinite pain in your everything, and from the gravity of what you’ve done.

Suddenly, you burp, causing a fireball to launch from your mouth and kill the previously burning guard stallion. The fire in your body has ceased, leaving a radiating burn in your stomach passages.

The guards all look at you with mixed expressions. None of them are positive. One guard hurls a spear at you. It comes too quick for you to react. It impales you from your chest out next to your left hind leg. You’ll be dead in a matter of 2 minutes or so.

The guards begin crying at the loss of their partner, as a piece of burning debris falls from the town hall in the background.

This is the last thing you see before you die.

Now you’re probably going to a place twice as hot.

DEATH BY SUPER SPICY SPICE NACHOS

Honestly. What are the odds?!

29

You decide to order a hearty meal of starch and veggies. Since it’s a long trip, and it may be a while before you buy any food in Canterlot, you decided to get your money’s worth with a full sized meal.

Despite the quantity of food, the cook manages to prepare your order before your stomach growls at you again. You thank the chef, and even give her a tip for her service. She kindly accepts, and tells you to have a good day.

You bring the bag over to Lyra and Colgate on the station bench where you all decide to dine. It appeared that the train would be much later than you had expected, so you didn’t feel the need to scarf down a perfectly cooked meal.

The dinner was perfection. Lyra audibly burped in approval after finishing her tater tots, which got her strange looks from passersby. You found yourself licking your teeth for remaining traces of the sweet taste left from the meal. Colgate noticed this and reminded you to clean your back teeth.

About 15 more minutes have passed before the train arrived. Strangely, its presence gave you butterflies in your stomach. You didn’t know whether you were nervous or excited. It had to be a bit of both, considering the high stakes of these tests, and the fun you’ll have with your friends.

You find your way into the train, and like a marksmare, you’re able to pick out a familiar face in the large crowd. The face takes you back not too long ago. The past memories of this face enrage you, but the more recent ones calm you down before you do anything stupid.

“Hello, Trixie.” You greet the azure mare casually.

The pony recognizes her name and turns to look up at you from her seat. She removes her earbuds, and her previously uninterested face quickly turns into an excited smile.

“Good evening, Twilight Sparkle!” She gets up from her seat to embrace you with a warm hug. To think, not too long ago, this mare was your enemy. She was sworn to antagonism against you, and strived to best you. Now, those feelings still probably linger in the form of a friendly rivalry.

“Where are you headed, Trixie?” You think quickly before she answers. “Oh don’t tell me…”

“The T.W.A.T.s, I’m afraid.” She answers with a slight frown. “As if this vacation couldn’t stink anymore.”

You, and your party, including some onlookers, all laugh at the comment. “So, I’m guessing that’s where you three are headed as well?”

“Apparently so.” Lyra says with a sigh. “I’m Lyra, by the way.”

“Oh, Trixie is well aware of who you are. Trixie listens to your music all the time! In fact,” Trixie levitates her music player from her bag and removes the CD. There is a picture of a lyre on it. Lyra glows at the sight.

“Wow! I’ve gotta fan!” She cheers. You then notice that Colgate has yet to be introduced.

“Oh! Where are my manners?” You say apologetically. “This is Minuette, my…dentist.”

“Call me Colgate.” Colgate says.

“Nice to meet you, Colgate.” Trixie smiles again.

“Hey,” Lyra comes up, awkwardly, “you wouldn’t happen to have a place to stay, would you?”

This question catches you more off guard than it does Trixie. “Wait, what?” You ask with a dramatic double take.

Lyra and Colgate look at you, confused. “What?” They ask simultaneously.

“I thought you girls had a place to stay!” You exclaim. “You invited me, and everything.”

“Well,” Colgate begins, “we didn’t really have a place to stay. We just invited you to stay with us for when we found a place.” Colgate shrugged. “For company, you know?”

You sigh audibly and shake your head. You’re a little disappointed, but you feel you can only blame yourself for not being prepared.

“I don’t have any place for any one of us to stay.” Trixie says. “I’m sorry. I planned on renting a hotel room when I got there. Although, now, I don’t think I have the money to stay in a hotel.”

Colgate speaks up, “Well, we can all pool our funds together and stay in a nice room.”

Without anymore words on the topic, you all nod and agree, almost to change the subject.

CONTINUE

30

You all arrive in Canterlot. The train halts, and it’s about 20 seconds until the conductor announces for everypony to depart. You had to wake Trixie up and get Lyra out of the caboose before you could leave.

The first thing you each do when you head into the station is survey your options and well as your surroundings.

You each look at each other and realize you have different ways to approach this city.

(All of these need to be done.)

Find the testing schedule

Find a Hotel

Buy Food

33

It’s now time to buy food. You’ve noticed a grocery store filled with good products along your travel here, and Lyra decides to buy from there. You all enter the store that offers a pleasant breeze as you pass through the doors. The market is indoors, and looks very sophisticated. Each aisle is marked with what products lie within them. The floor is well polished, and everything seems to reflect back off of it.

You’ve forgotten all about these kinds of grocery stores as you got accustomed to shopping in the outdoor markets of Ponyville. You split up into two groups and set out to grab essentials such as milk and noodles. You are paired with Colgate, and you both head towards the bakery. There, you see a large assortment of bread ranging anywhere from rye, white, wheat, and honey to styles of bread like croissants, rolls, bagels, and pretzels.

You both decide to purchase a loaf of wheat bread, a loaf of white bread, and a cheese bread roll. You thank the bakers for their service and head farther into the store. As you push your cart through the aisles, you realize that there really isn’t anypony else shopping here.

After 12 minutes, you’ve received everything you think 4 fully grown mares would need to last 2 weeks in the blazing summer. Needless to say, you brought a lot of drinks and fruit. You’ve passed by Lyra and Trixie a few times, cracking jokes like ‘nice to see you again, strangers!’ or ‘wow, look at those losers.’ Eventually you each meet up at a register.

The price has everypony’s eyes boggling. It came out to a total none of you were expecting. Colgate and Lyra pay with all their money, and it isn’t enough at all. You cough up everything you have as well, and the price is still only half paid. You’re contemplating putting the snacks back when Trixie pays the rest with all of her money. It happens to be just enough.

You each grumble and walk off without any bits to speak of. When you leave the building, however, you each thank Trixie for paying half the cost.

Continue

36

Now that everything else is done, you head into town in hopes of finding the schedule. This bit of information could be the foundation of your studies. You’re wandering without any idea where to find a schedule. It takes a minute, but then you realize where you might find a test schedule.

You head for the center of the city. There, you see a pedestal with news clippings, sign up sheets, and fliers. You each take a look at the pedestal, and soon you find where the schedules would have been.

It seems that it’s empty. It is very, very late, and there was probably no chance of you getting one anyway.

You each look at each other and sigh.

Continue

37

Content with having found a place to stay, you head into town in hopes of finding the schedule. This bit of information could be the foundation of your other tasks. You exit the room with your party behind you. It takes a minute, but then you realize where you might find a test schedule.

You head for the center of the city. There, you see a pedestal with news clippings, sign up sheets, and fliers. You each take a look at the pedestal, and soon you find the schedule.

It looks like a brochure, but it contains a bunch of times. It’s folded into two sections. Each section holds the times for each week. The only thing that unnerves you is the fact that the schedule doesn’t tell you what the tests are, just when they take place.

You each look at each other and sigh.

The last thing on your list is buying food.

Buy Food

38

You’re each staring at the fridge intently. The food you all bought looked scrumptious. You went through all the trouble of buying it, so it’s about time you ate a little, right? Besides, you’ve read somewhere that sleeping on an empty stomach leads to lower testing scores.

Without further delay, you each cut a small piece of cheese bread from the roll and put it on a plate. Lyra levitates grapes over everypony’s dishes and gives you all a fair share. You pass around 6 cookies to each mare, while Colgate cuts up a pineapple for you all to eat.

Trixie makes everypony peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the white bread as this all goes on.

Suddenly, the door to the room flies wide open and slams into the wall. Everypony stops what they’re doing, and Lyra even drops her grapes.

“FREEZE! THIS IS A RAID!” A stallion yells in his guard uniform.

“What’s the problem, inspector!?” Trixie yells as she comes from behind the curtain. “Trixie does not appreciate you barging into her room like this!”

The guard charges at Trixie in an attempt to tackle her, but she teleports out of the way and in front of the other guards. They each swing their hooves at her, only catching air. You’re surprised at the whole sight, confused and scared that the guards are here, but you’re astounded at how Trixie has improved in her magic. You entertain the idea of dueling her again someday.

Trixie has dodged everything the guards were willing to throw at her and they found themselves exhausted, and hurt from their own attacks.

“Ha! The Great and Powerful Trixie laughs at the sight of your failures!”

Just then, Trixie is kicked by a guard out of the window. You can hear as she smashes into a cart that shatters into a million wooden shards that clank onto the pavement

Lyra, Colgate, and yourself all put your faces in your hooves, disappointed. Seconds later, you’re all hoofcuffed, and are being escorted out of the building. Trixie’s unconscious body is thrown into the back of a Canterlot security task force wagon. You and your friends find yourselves in there with her.

The back of the wagon is dark, and the only light that shines through it is from 3 rectangular holes above you that allow moonlight to shine through.

You’re all scarred and confused. Colgate finds herself checking Trixie’s vital signs. You’re all audibly asking questions as if you were trying to ask the driver of the carriage, but he ignores all of you. Eventually Trixie wakes up with a case of amnesia, forgetting everything she did since you guys went to the store.

An hour or so later, you all end up at a police station.

You’re all asking questions and jittering around frantically when a guard presents one of your grocery bags. You all shut up as the Princess walks through the doors.

“Princess Celestia!” you yelp uncontrollably before you bow along with your friends. “I’m so glad to see you! Please, tell these guys that we haven’t done anything wrong!”

Celestia narrows her eyes and looks at the shopping bag. She levitates it into the air and pour it’s contents out onto the table. You see a mountain of what looks like salt.

Lyra’s eyes widen, causing Colgate’s to widen. You have no idea what’s going on until Trixie speaks.

“WHOA!” she yells. “That’s a lot of cocaine!”

Your heart sinks.

“Twilight….” The princess utters your name softly. “How could you?” She examines to pile of coke and then stares back at you. Her eyes scan judgingly at the four of you, actually.

“That’s not ours!” Colgate yelps in fear. “There was bread in there! Twilight and I got bread!”

“Is that what you kids call it these days?!” Celestia bellows in disappointment. Celestia looks at you and her trust is physically flowing from her eyes. “Send them all to the dungeon! Get them out of my sight!”

Your heart breaks and you die on the spot.

DEATH BY COKE

D: Let’s try that again!!!

39

You wander around Canterlot in hopes of finding a place to stay. Over the course of an hour (which is actually pretty fast, thanks to yours and Trixie’s teleportation abilities) you find that all the hotels you’ve seen cost money. Figures.

Most ponies taking the tests are foals, and they’re granted room and board at the palace during the test time if they aren’t from Canterlot. In this case, where scholars are re-taking these tests, most ponies are rich and successful, and can easily afford a room in these fancy hotels.

Although you, Trixie, Colgate, and Lyra are all scholars in your respective fields, neither of you were smart enough to rent a hotel ahead of time.

Lyra suggests that since you and Trixie can teleport, you should just all live in the library back in Ponyville and teleport to the tests. Trixie was quick to say that teleporting such far distances is extremely difficult, which is why she took the train. Lyra looks over to you and you can only nod.

You’re about to suggest that you all stay at your parents place, but then realize that they’ve traveled abroad while the house is being renovated.

The grocery bags that you’re all carrying are starting to take their toll on you. You wouldn’t mind living in a rat hole at this point. The moonlight shines upon the 4 of you as you prowl the streets.

Eventually, Colgate finds one hotel far into the mountains that is just perfect. Well, It’s free of charge. There are 5 beds that are really just mattresses tossed out haphazardly onto the floor with dirty blankets over three of them. The two beds without blankets have plastic wrap draped carelessly over them.

The walls are sporting dark blue wallpaper that seems to be hanging on for dear life. Most of it has peeled away and lay on the floor in a small cyan trash pile.

Although there are 5 beds, there is only 1 bathroom without a door and a busted sink. The bedroom and the kitchen are separated by what seems to be a large purple shower curtain that hangs from a lop-sided coat hanger type bar that spans the whole room.

The kitchen seems to be the only nice place in the room. Its sink isn’t sparkling clean, but it has a nice silver finish that looks as if it could glisten if given a good scrub. The fridge is actually rather large compared to most fridges. It’s a double door with a drawer-like freezer below. It looks a bit old, but it’s quite chilly when opened and can easily cool the whole room.

After about 20 minutes of examining the room, you each agree on using it for the tests. It was the only decision, after all.

You each lay down your grocery bags, exhausted from carrying them everywhere. Colgate goes off to tell the land lady that the room will be taken.

Continue

40

It’s now time to buy food. You’ve noticed a grocery store filled with good products along your travel here, and Lyra decides to buy from there. You all enter the store that offers a pleasant breeze as you pass through the doors. The market is indoors, and looks very sophisticated. Each aisle is marked with what products lie within them. The floor is well polished, and everything seems to reflect back off of it.

You’ve forgotten all about these kinds of grocery stores as you got accustomed to shopping in the outdoor markets of Ponyville. You split up into two groups and set out to grab essentials such as milk and noodles. You are paired with Colgate, and you both head towards the bakery. There, you see a large assortment of bread ranging anywhere from rye, white, wheat, and honey to styles of bread like croissants, rolls, bagels, and pretzels.

You both decide to purchase a loaf of wheat bread, a loaf of white bread, and a cheese bread roll. You thank the bakers for their service and head farther into the store. As you push your cart through the aisles, you realize that there aren’t many ponies shopping here. It is a little late, after all.

After 12 minutes, you’ve received everything you think 4 fully grown mares would need to last 2 weeks in the blazing summer. Needless to say, you brought a lot of drinks and fruit. You’ve passed by Lyra and Trixie a few times, cracking jokes like ‘nice to see you again, strangers!’ or ‘wow, look at those losers.’ Eventually you each meet up at a register. It takes a long while waiting in line, but eventually it’s your turn to pay.

The price has everypony’s eyes boggling. It came out to a total none of you were expecting. Colgate and Lyra pay with all their money, and it isn’t enough at all. You cough up everything you have as well, and the price is still only half paid. You’re contemplating putting the snacks back when Trixie pays the rest with all of her money. It happens to be just enough.

You each grumble and walk off without any bits to speak of. When you leave the building, however, you each thank Trixie for paying half the cost.

Finding a hotel will prove to be quite a bitch without any bits, but it would prove to be worse if you have nowhere to put these expensive groceries.

Find a hotel

41

You decide the first thing to go is get food. You leave the station and walk to the nearest grocery store.

You all enter the store that emits the sound of many ponies conversations. The market is indoors, and looks very sophisticated. Each aisle is marked with what products lie within them. The floor rather dirty, and the are scuff marks all over it. There are dozens of ponies crowding on it, some in a bit of a hurry. You suspect that some are in the same situation as you.

You’ve forgotten all about these kinds of grocery stores as you got accustomed to shopping in the outdoor markets of Ponyville. You split up into two groups and set out to grab essentials such as milk and noodles. You are paired with Colgate, and you both head towards the bakery. There, you see a large assortment of bread ranging anywhere from rye, white, wheat, and honey to styles of bread like croissants, rolls, bagels, and pretzels.

There is a rather long line for the bread, so Colgate decides to pick up some things while you wait.

It takes her a while, and she sighs when she comes back to see the line hasn’t budged.

After a terribly long wait, you go to pick up what you’re looking for.

You both decide to purchase a loaf of wheat bread, a loaf of white bread, and a cheese bread roll. You thank the bakers for their service and head farther into the store. A lot of the aisles are blocked, and the ones that aren’t are crowded.

You suggest some ponies are here because of the perfect air conditioning.

After 22 minutes, you’ve received everything you think 4 fully grown mares would need to last 2 weeks in the blazing summer. Needless to say, you brought a lot of drinks and fruit. You’ve passed by Lyra and Trixie a few times, cracking jokes like ‘nice to see you again, strangers!’ or ‘wow, look at those losers.’ Eventually you each meet up at a register where you’re stuck in a line for another 14 minutes.

The price has everypony’s eyes boggling. It came out to a total none of you were expecting. Colgate and Lyra pay with all their money, and it isn’t enough at all. You cough up everything you have as well, and the price is still only half paid.

The ponies behind you in line are getting irritated and are moving to other lanes. You’re contemplating putting the snacks back when Trixie pays the rest with all of her money. It happens to be just enough.

You all grumble and walk off without any bits to speak of. When you leave the building, however, you each thank Trixie for paying half the cost.

You each decide how fun it’s going to be to try to find a hotel for free. It’s the only kind of hotel you can afford.

But you may wanna try to find that test schedule while you can. It’s up to you.

Find a hotel

Find the Testing Schedule

44

You wander around Canterlot in hopes of finding a place to stay. Over the course of an hour (which is actually rather fast, thanks to yours and Trixie’s teleportation abilities) you find that all the hotels you’ve seen cost money. Figures.

Most ponies taking the tests are foals, and they’re granted room and board at the palace during the test time if they aren’t from Canterlot. In this case, where scholars are re-taking these tests, most ponies are rich and successful, and can easily afford a room in these fancy hotels.

Although you, Trixie, Colgate, and Lyra are all scholars in your respective fields, neither of you were smart enough to rent a hotel ahead of time.

Lyra suggests that since you and Trixie can teleport, they just all live in the library back in Ponyville and teleport to the tests. Trixie was quick to say that teleporting such far distances is extremely difficult, which is why she took the train.

You’re about to suggest that you all stay at your parents place, but then realize that they’ve traveled abroad while the house is being renovated.

Eventually, Colgate finds one hotel far into the mountains that is just perfect. Well, It’s free of charge. There are 5 beds that are really just mattresses tossed out haphazardly onto the floor with dirty blankets over three of them. The two beds without blankets have plastic wrap draped carelessly over them.

The walls are sporting dark blue wallpaper that seems to be hanging on for dear life. Most of it has peeled away and lay on the floor in a small cyan trash pile.

Although there are 5 beds, there is only 1 bathroom without a door and a busted sink. The bedroom and the kitchen are separated by what seems to be a large purple shower curtain that hangs from a lop-sided coat hanger type bar that spans the whole room.

The kitchen seems to be the only nice place in the room. Its sink isn’t sparkling clean, but it has a nice silver finish that looks as if it could glisten if given a good scrub. The fridge is actually rather large compared to most fridges. It’s a double door with a drawer-like freezer below. It looks a bit old, but it’s quite chilly when opened and can easily cool the whole room.

After about 20 minutes of examining the room, you each agree on using it for the tests. It was the only decision, after all.

You each lay down your grocery bags, exhausted from carrying them everywhere. Colgate goes off to tell the land lady that the room will be taken.

Continue

45

After contemplating a long nap on a bench, you decide it’d be better to head into town in hopes of finding the schedule. This bit of information could be the foundation of your studies. You’re wandering without any idea where to find a schedule. It takes a minute, but then you realize where you might find a test schedule.

You head for the center of the city. There, you see a pedestal with news clippings, sign up sheets, and fliers. You each take a look at the pedestal, and you can’t seem to find what you’re looking for.

This unnerves you all, and you realize that all the schedules must be gone. It is very late after all.

Continue

46

You’re all in the room now, totally exhausted, and rather disappointed. You all thank Trixie again for buying half the food, which now sits in the fridge.

The tests are tomorrow, and you have no idea what’s in store. You have no idea what the materials are, and you feel totally unprepared.

Perhaps there will be an extra day tomorrow just for study? Lyra comments that that has happened once before when the testing committee realized the tests were too harsh.

What should you do?

Midnight Snacking time

Study like mad

Go to sleep

47

“Listen up, Girls!” Your voice echoes in the mare’s minds, and they are all staring at you, tentatively. “The only way we’re getting out of these tests alive with our academic status intact is to study, study, and study ‘smore!”

“But we have no idea as to what we’re studying.” Colgate brings up a good point. “We have no idea what the tests are on.”

“So we study everything.” You say monotonously and without feeling.

…

Everypony in the room is glaring at you like you’re an idiot.

“Well,” you correct yourself, “study what is usually on these tests and review what we know. We have plenty of time before we have to sleep.”

“Twilight,” Trixie speaks up, “it’s midnight.”

You check the clock to see that it is 11:57.

“It’s not midnight. We have plenty of time.”

Each mare gives a look at each other, then they shrug their shoulders as they retrieve their books from their bags.

Collectively, you’re all able to study basic and intermediate arithmetic, geology, geography, physics, dentistry, astronomy, basic magic, algorithms, and anatomy.

Your brains all hurt tremendously due to the fact that you all crammed in the information in a matter of an hour. With all that studying, you feel exhausted.

Trixie backflips onto her respective mattress in a lounging position, hooves behind her head. “Trixie has studied enough for today.” She says almost boastfully.

Lyra just finished solving an algorithm using the ‘brute-force search’ method which consists of trying any numbers until you find the numbers that satisfy a problem. She dropped her pencil and collapsed onto her bed.

You just finished drawing a map of the stars that will be visible tomorrow night.

“I guess we’ll be fine for tomorrow.” You say as you pack up your books. You levitate your tooth brush with you into the bathroom where you take 5 minutes brushing and flossing your teeth. Colgate joins you, being to only other pony awake at this time.

“I’m going to scold them later for not brushing their teeth before bed!” She teased.

After you finish, you go right to sleep.

Continue

48

“You know,” you say aloud, “why don’t we just go to bed? I’m sure since we have no idea what our tests are on, we’ll be given that extra study day.”

Everypony agrees with you and gets ready for bed. You each take turns of brushing your teeth in pairs. You find yourself brushing with Colgate, and you’re both in and out in a reasonable time. Meanwhile, Lyra and Trixie seem to be messing around, giggling like foals for 10 minutes or so. After 12 minutes of everypony being in bed, you’re all asleep.

Continue

49

The next day kinda takes you by surprise. You awaken to the sight of Lyra, Colgate, and Trixie hovering over you with certain expressions varying from disgust to worry.

“Good…morning?” You say cautiously. They don’t respond in words.

“Should we tell her?” Colgate whispers to Trixie.

“Tell me what?” You ask, worried now.

Suddenly, a hairy leg approaches your field of vision. Trixie’s eyes widen, Colgate leaves, and Lyra puts her hooves over her mouth. You can feel something crawling on your face. Your brain is telling you what it is, but your mind is trying it’s hardest to ignore the thought. Trixie levitates the thing off your face and out the window in a flash, but you know what it was.

“S-spider…” you manage to stutter.

“It’s all right.” Trixie tries to reassure you. “Trixie has banished it to the streets.”

You all check the time and realize you’re up at a good time. Surprisingly. It’s currently 7:12, but the testing doesn’t begin until 8:00.

You all head into town where the tests are being distributed. You can see the scholars from far and wide along the way. You can tell they’re here for the tests since they’re all walking drearily with pencils in their possession. (Even though pencils are supplied.)

“WHAT?!” You hear one yell. It startles you and your group. The scholar seems to be reading a piece of paper her got from a kiosk across the street. Out of curiosity, you decide to check it out.

Upon approaching the kiosk, you notice it’s devoted to the testing. There are lists and schedules involving the tests. You hastily grab one and find out it features each subject being tested.

At first, you think this is good news, until you realize how screwed you are.

“Read the tests out loud, Twilight Sparkle.” Trixie asks rather demandingly.

“Um… The tests will be on Greek Language mechanics.” You begin slowly. “The introduction test will challenge you on the basic understanding of the language. The conversation test focuses on the conversations and slang. The contemporary usage test will challenge you on your knowledge of Modern Greek and will have you compare and contrast modern from classical. Finally, there will be the grammar test, which will test your abilities on Greek writing and sentence structures.”

It’s a bit silent for a minute.

“Dóntia.” Colgate says randomly.

Everypony looks at her.

“It’s the only Greek word I remember how to say.”

“What does it mean?” Lyra asks.

“Teeth.” You say matter-of-factly.

“At least my Grammar is good.” Colgate says as she lowers her head to the ground.

“Trixie can hold a conversation in Greek.” Trixie says. “But she doesn’t know any of the grammar.”

“I only know that really, really old Greek.” Lyra says. “Some of my favorite song lyrics are in classic Greek, but I have no idea how to speak contemporary.”

You sigh audibly. “I’m pretty good with Greek,” You begin to say, “but I don’t know how to properly speak it to anypony, so I’m geared to fail the conversation test.”

You all look at each other worriedly.

“We need to do something, or we’re gonna fail and lose our jobs!” Colgate says.

Help each other study their weak points.

Suggest cheating as a joke.

51

“Why don’t we just cheat?” You chuckle. “But seriously, we should study our weak points with each other.”

Everypony is looking at you with mixed emotions.

“The …cheating idea doesn’t seem too bad.” Colgate says sheepishly.

“WHAT?!” You shout, halting some ponies walking down the street. You blush, then switch your outburst into a whisper. “You know cheating could get you jail time!” You hiss.

“I know, but-”

“Minuette!”

“What other choice is there?!” Colgate now looks flustered. “I love my job as a dentist. If my boss finds out that I failed a test that I passed as a filly, I’m finished.”

If it wasn’t for the fact that she looked like she was about to cry, you would have argued with Colgate further.

“Hey,” You and the rest of the group try to comfort her. “It’s okay. It’s just…cheating isn’t much of a safe option. Besides, If you fail one of these tests today, it can’t hurt you too much. This may just be the worse of it.”

You notice that the testing committee is now distributing free breakfast to the test takers.

“Trixie suggests we discuss this over our meal.” Trixie says.

“Agreed.” Lyra says as she ambles down the inclined street.

Not too long after, you and the girls find a nice shady spot on under a balcony to eat breakfast. You’re shooting off ideas on how to get past this test, all excluding cheating when Trixie speaks up.

“How’s the Princess, Twilight Sparkle?”

“Um.” You’re not really sure how to respond to the mundane, off-topic question. “Fine?”

“You still study under her?”

“Yes. Yes I do.”

Trixie sips her drink nonchalantly before continuing. “I wonder what she would think if she found out you can’t communicate with her in her natural tongue.”

“Wha-” you can feel yourself blush. “What do you even mean by that?!”

“Well, Celestia is going to look at your test and feel pretty heart broken when she sees a low score on the Greek conversation test. I can speak Latin perfectly with Princess Luna, and she taught me YEARS ago.”

You’re feeling a little upset, but you can’t help but feel Trixie is right. It’s one of Celestia’s jobs to teach the foals born in the daytime Greek. Luna should teach the night-born foals Latin. And ever since Luna’s banishment, foals are very rarely born during the nighttime, leaving Luna with only a hoof-full of foals to care for, making it harder for Celestia to teach Greek.

She has, however, made quite the effort of teaching her magic kindergarten students Greek. Twilight was able to speak full Greek sentences before she could even write in English. If Twilight fails any of these tests today, it would disappoint the princess quite a bit. Make her feel less valued.

“Um, I guess that’s true.” You admit, until you realize what Trixie is doing. You don’t appreciate it at all.

“Trixie thinks cheating on this one little test wouldn’t hurt.” Trixie takes a nibble of her muffin, then sets it aside as it probably didn’t really appeal to her tastes. “It would be easy. We could pull it off.”

“NO!” You shout dramatically, slamming your hoof on the table and knocking a juice box over. Trixie doesn’t even flinch as she stares at you with a bored look. “Do you know the consequences of cheating?!” You’re whispering now, especially that last word.

“Imprisonment.” Trixie said blatantly.

“Correct! I believe that’s worse than having the princess realize I can’t speak Gre-”

You suddenly notice everything got quiet. Trixie is looking behind you with her mouth agape, and Colgate seems to be mirroring her. Lyra is too engrossed in her breakfast to notice anything, but when she looks up, she bows.

You turn around and meet with the glorious, long-flowing mane of Princess Celestia. Your heart jumps into your throat, then drops into your stomach.

“Καλημέρα!” She says joyfully.

You know for a fact that ‘Kalimera’ means Good morning, but you can’t find yourself the proper response.

“Καλημέρα…” You settle with, nervously.

“είστε?” She asks you informally.

She’s asking how you are, but you have no idea how to respond. You don’t know why. You know the word for ‘good,’ and ‘nervous.’ You can write it. You can read it. You can even say it, but something in your mind doesn’t want to believe it’s ‘conversationally’ correct.

“I’m fine.” You say with a blush.

“Well Twilight, I expect the highest of scores in today’s testing from you.” She says in English. “I just came down here to announce everypony luck. Πρέπει να φύγω. Αντίο, and Καλή τύχη!” She chuckles.

All those words as they were spoken together, you have no idea what was just said. However, Colgate, Lyra, and Trixie all say ‘thank you’ in Greek so you follow their lead.

Trixie looks at you with a smirk and judging eyes.

You blush violently and drop your head. “I don’t know how to cheat.” You admit. “They have armed guards everywhere. We’ll never be able to tell each other the answers. Not even telepathically.”

The guards are trained to detect and follow any magical communication techniques such as telepathy or using astral projection to look at other ponies’ answers. There really was no way to cheat the system.

“Pfft. You’re out of practice.” Trixie scoffs. “Luckily, I’m experienced in the field of cheating, forgery, gossip, slander, battery, blackmail, bribery, and social espionage.”

“There’s a field for being a bully?” You ask in a retorting manner.

Trixie realizes she’s boasting, and tries not to revert back to her old way. You can tell from her facial expressions.

“Yes, well… kinda.” She falters. “Point is, I know how to cheat. I was in quite the group back in college.”

You’re getting a bit impatient with Trixie. “What did you even study for?!”

“Dark Magic, Equestrian history, Alchemy, and Culinary. I have my magistri gradum in all of them.”

“Yet you decided to travel as a show pony showing off and making everypony feel lesser than you?” Your tone is harsh.

“Hey!” Lyra speaks up. “She’s trying to help us!”

“No worries.” Trixie says, keeping her eyes locked onto yours. “It’s not her fault. As I was saying, there is an easy way to cheat these tests today without the guards knowing a thing.”

You submit. You haven’t a choice anyway.

Trixie gets up from the table and throws away her trash very slowly. She scans the ground, but very subtly. You barely notice it. She comes back, and suddenly she’s holding 5 pebbles.

Trixie focuses her magic on the pebbles carefully. As this happens, Princess Celestia appears from her balcony. Her voice projects to the entire city.

“Welcome, test takers! I would like to humbly apologize for having you come here to re-take these exams. For some of you, this may be your first time. None the less, I am truly sorry for the inconvenience. However, I am thankful that you are all here to spend your time in Canterlot to take them. It means a lot to the Equestrian education systems. You are doing us a favor, and you are doing yourselves a favor.”

The princess continues her speech. You look back down at the pebbles and find that Trixie has transmuted the pebbles into other types of rock by means of magical alchemical transmutation. Trixie is sweating and looks exhausted, but she hasn’t changed her expression. It’s as if the only thing affecting her was the heat.

You’re staring at the rocks in awe. You’re highly impressed with Trixie’s magical alchemy skills, through you’re more of a traditional alchemist, and you’ve actually switched to practical chemistry altogether. It’s much simpler, and has less dark risks.

“-and without further adieu, I wish you all good luck on the exams!” The princess has finished her speech, and everypony applauds. There are only 5 minutes left for breakfast.

“Alright,” Trixie begins, levitating an orange rock in front of you.

“This is Argillite.” She sets the rock down and levitates the next.

“This is Breccia.” She lifts the next,

“This is a form of limestone we all know as chalk.” And the next, “This is dolomite,” and the last, “and this little guy is eclogite.”

Colgate and Lyra look confused, and so are you, but you don’t want Trixie to detect your confusion.

“You’re confused.” She saw right through you. “Here, notice how all these rock names begin with A,B,C,D, and E?”

The three of you take a second to remember, then nod.

“Well, I’ll just set these rocks on the ground behind a guard as we’re taking the test. Since each of us is stronger in a specific Greek subject than the next, we can communicate with the rocks by moving them with magic.”

“But won’t the guards see us using magic?” Colgate asked with her hoof raised, almost as if she were in school. The demonstration and test anxiety sure made it feel like one.

“Not if you’re using magic to write.” Trixie instructed. “If you’re levitating a pencil with magic, the guards won’t suspect a thing.”

Trixie’s plan is clever, but you still thought it was way too risky to conduct.

“So, Twilight Sparkle.” Trixie catches you attention. “Are you in?”

Follow Trixie’s plans(make these the link color)

Ignore Trixie’s pl-

Before you can make a decision, Breakfast is over. Ponies are rushing towards the center of town to get their test, then rushing out into the city streets to take their spots.

Lyra and Colgate are complaining about not remembering the names of the rocks, and Trixie is explaining that they’ll be in a line in alphabetical order.

The test podium is crowded, so it will be a while until you can receive your test. Unicorn guards are watching for anything suspicious. Trixie advises that they change the subject on their conversation.

In 12 minutes or so, you receive your test. Trixie advises that you should all take the tests near a rocky area where the stones may not be noticed. There will be a guard there, of course, but he won’t notice a thing.

“What if there are open ended questions?” Colgate asks worriedly. “Like, what if it asks you to write down the Greek word for ‘chocolate?’”

Trixie thinks for a moment.

“Just try your best.” She finally settles with.

You find an ally way between two buildings. It’s not too narrow, so it’s perfect. On one end is the inclined street leading down to the center of the city, and on the other end is a rocky wall with all kinds of stones and pebbles on it. A guard is standing in front of the rocky wall, watching the four of you.

You each take a seat, and the guard gruffly tells you to be silent and wait for further instruction.

Trixie trips on her cape and lands on her face. You all help her up when you realize she tripped on purpose to throw the rocks behind the guard.

“Are you alright, Trixie?” You say with a wink.

Trixie looks at you as if you’re stupid. “Don’t wink…” She whispers.

Continue

52

The entire town is silent. Passersby who aren’t taking the tests read signs that say: ‘Hush: Tests in progress’ in both English and Latin. It would also say it in Greek, but the Greek portions of the signs are tapped over for the sake of today’s tests.

“There will be no talking, or use of magic unless you are writing via levitation. There is to be no advancing onto the other tests until the time for this test is up. When I say ‘begin’ you will start your test.”

You can hear other guards in the distance giving the same speech in what sounds like a musical round.

Now the entire town is absolutely dead silent.

‘Begin. Good luck.’ All the guards say simultaneously.

You all begin testing. It’s the Greek introduction tests, so it should be fairly easy for all of you.

The first question asks what the first letter of the Greek alphabet is.

It’s multiple-choice.

A. Gamma

B. Beta

C. Double U

D. Alpha

It’s obviously Alpha.

The first portion of this test is pretty much like that. In the distance, you hear a pony sneeze. Nearly the whole town roars with ‘Gesundheit!’ and ‘Bless You!’

Trixie says “Saluta!” and Lyra says “Bless you, bro!”.

It was all pretty funny, but everypony was told to hush immediately.

You zoom through that section in 12 minutes. The next section didn’t prove to be any trickier.

English is to Apple

as Greek is to_______

A. αππλε

B. πομμε

C. μήλο

D. απίδι

You select C to be the correct answer, and shake your head. The test is extremely easy.

You glance over at Minuette for a second. She’s sweating, and confused. Not wanting to look like you’re cheating, you pretend to sneeze and glance over at what section she’s on. The entire town blesses you, including the guard, and you thank them with a giggle.

She’s on the first question of the section you’re on. She’s about to pick D, which is actually the Greek word for ‘pear’. You want to help her, and that’s when you remember the rocks.

You need to draw Colgate’s attention to the chalk for her to pick the right answer.

Levitate the Chalk.

Shake the Chalk.

53

You clear your throat and get Colgate’s attention. As you’re writing, you shroud the chalk with your magic and shake it. Colgate understands and marks the according answer.

You leave the chalk alone, but then it flies into the air somehow. Magical butterfingers, perhaps. The chalk hits the guard in the head.

He sighs, and takes you by the hoof.

“You’re disqualified.” He says flatly. Then he shreds your test.

You stare mutely at your shredded test, not knowing what’s going on.

“You fail.” The guard says.

“W-wha?”

You’re escorted towards the street.

And, as a defense mechanism of your species, you die.

DEATH BY FAILURE

WHY IS TWILIGHT’S KIND SO WEAK?!

55

You take a massively deep breath. All in a second, you shred your test and yelp ‘I cheated!’

Lyra and Colgate both have a double take at you. Trixie shakes her head, and looks pretty pissed.

“Um.” The guard says. “I was watching you the whole time. How could you have cheated?”

“I used magic to look at the other girl’s papers…” you lie terribly.

“Oh. That’s pretty unique. Never even heard of that. Well, that’s going to be a few months in prison.”

“Stop!” Trixie yells. No doubt the whole town heard it.

“She’s lying. Trixie was giving her answers, and she was helping me too. The Great and Cheating Trixie is just as guilty.”

“Who’s Trixie?” The guard asked, rather confused.

“I’M TRIXIE! I CHEATED!” You can hear ‘boos’ roar from the town until they’re all hushed.

You’re too taken aback by Trixie’s bravery. She risked herself to save you, and that’s pretty cool.

“We cheated too!” Colgate yelled.

“WE?!” Lyra yelled. “I’m a good mare. I don’t cheat.” Lyra then noticed Colgate’s grim face. “Yeah, I cheated too…” The town laughs. It seems they’re all getting a kick out of this. Everypony is in a slight murmur until guards told everypony to quiet down and finish the last 5 minutes.

“You girls are all coming with me.”

“Fuck that!” Trixie yells as she tackles the three of you to the ground and teleports. You’re now on the roof of the building you were just leaning on. “Um. Run.” Trixie says nonchalantly as she gallops and leaps over to the next rooftop.

Pegasus guards are being dispatched from all different directions. Out of fear, you feel no other choice than to run with Trixie.

The guards are naturally faster that you with their wings, and they almost catch up with you. You use magic to lower a guard’s helmet over his eyes and he crashes through a window. You continue running until you’re at the cliff side of the city. It hangs over the rest of Equestria. The guards are closing in, and you’re pretty much trapped.

Jump for it!

Don’t jump, idiot.

Teleport behind a guard.

58

Quickly, you focus all your magic on the rocks above the pegasus guards. You cause a massive rockslide the causes them to flee. Trixie notices the rockslide, and teleports onto the ground safely.

“That was some quick thinking, Twilight Sparkle!” Trixie yells as she gallops past you.

“Where are you going?!” You yell to her. “The guards are gone!”

Trixie the looks back at you as if you’re stupid.

Then you realize.

The rock slide is still going.

DEATH BY AVALANCHE

Twilight… Really?

59

You continue boldly and take a flying leap of faith off the cliff. All sound seems to fade as the wind rushes through your ears. It seems as if Trixie, Lyra, and Colgate has followed you over the edge. Like you, they probably had no choice.

The Pegasus guards, despite their wings, hesitated before diving after you. You shoot a glance up a Trixie, and it seems you two have the same idea in mind. You spread out all your legs to slow your decent and grab Lyra. Trixie grabs Colgate, and you both teleport on the pegasus guards’ backs.

The guards are startled by the maneuver and spiral in all different flight patterns. You all manage to crash land into a huge tree.

Trixie teleports you all to ground level and she books it. You all decide to follow her, not really knowing were she could possibly be going.

You’re all running until night falls. Trixie, being loyal to princess Luna, stops and pays a greeting to the moon, then continues on. It feels like hours of endless galloping and dodging trees.

Suddenly, amidst the darkness of the thick forest, a searchlight appears overhead.

“STOP WHERE YOU ARE!” a voice roars into the forest with a megaphone.

You’re all standing in the blinding light, scared, until Trixie gets an idea.

Trixie quickly finds a way to transmit the police’s radio messages using a piece of wire, a rock, and some magic. It takes all of 12 seconds. She intercepts a message saying: ‘We’ve found four suspects fleeing the scene escaping to Germaney. We’re en route, right above them in the brigade balloon. ’

“Hear that, Twilight Sparkle?” Trixie whispers to you. “They’re in a hot air balloon.”

Quickly, you levitate a rock and fling it towards the origin of the searchlight. You hear a loud ‘clang!’ and see a huge ball of fire.

“MAYDAY, MAYDAY!” Trixie’s makeshift radio screeches, “WE’RE GOING DOWN, WE’RE GOI-zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.” The radio emits nothing but static.

The four of you continue running on until you reach the outskirts of Germaney. You can see a village up ahead, and it appears as if everypony is asleep, since no lights are on.

“So…now what?” Colgate asks. “Get new lives?”

“No.” You say suddenly. “We come up with a plan.”

TO BE CONTINUED IN PT 2

60

Acting fast, you teleport behind a pegasus guard. It seems, however, you teleported a little too far back.

A guard manages to spear-tackle you to the ground.

And your head cracks against the pavement.

DEATH BY POLICE BRUTALITY

Fuck the police!

61

You continue on with the test as your regrets seem to fade. You suddenly don’t care that you’re cheating anymore.

You’re marking correct answers, and levitating the corresponding rocks to help out your team.

And before you know it you’re done.

“Pencils down! Please turn in your tests.” You’ve finished with 15 minutes to spare. In that time you probably fell asleep.

The town resumes its original bustling quality. The test signs are taken down for the day so they don’t obstruct the regal surroundings. Every thing is back to normal.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Trixie asks playfully.

The whole aspect of cheating was not something you were proud of, but you actually found it pretty fun.

“No, I guess not.” You answer with a blush.

As you all head back to the room, you wonder how difficult the next test is going to be, and you wonder if you’ll be able to use the same cheating method, should the occasion arise.

Then you suddenly become worried. What if the princess finds out that you cheated? That would disappoint her way more than you failing. As all this goes through your head, Trixie lays a reassuring hoof on your back.

“Don’t worry, Twilight Sparkle.” Trixie says. “Everything will be fine.”

TO BE CONTINUED IN PT 2

43

After contemplating a long nap on a bench, you decide it’d be better to head into town in hopes of finding the schedule. This bit of information could be the foundation of your studies. You’re wandering without any idea where to find a schedule. It takes a minute, but then you realize where you might find it.

You head for the center of the city. There, you see a pedestal with news clippings, sign up sheets, and fliers. You each take a look at the pedestal, and soon you find the schedule.

It looks like a brochure, but it contains a bunch of times. It’s folded into two sections. Each section holds the times for each week. The only thing that unnerves you is the fact that the schedule doesn’t tell you what the tests are, just when they take place.

You each look at each other and sigh.

Tired, you realize it’s time to find a hotel, despite the lack of any money. Carrying the groceries is a hassle, and you all really just want to set them down someplace.

Find a hotel

21

“Damn.” You mutter to yourself. “I guess I have no choice.”

You brew yourself some coffee and think about the good side of these assessments.

On one hoof, you’ve got the grueling hours, the hard ground, the overly crowded streets, the difficult tests, the anxiety, the risks, the terrible food (thus resulting in the hunger), the loneliness amongst the masses, the time away from home, and the time off of your vacation.

On the other hoof…

*TING!*

Your coffee maker has completed its task. The fresh smell of coffee has broken your train of thought. You walk up to the machine and levitate the kettle over a cup and pour yourself some wake-up drink. That’s when it hits you.

Travel plans.

Getting to Canterlot seems easy. One minute you’re here, the next you’re there. Usually you take the train, but ticket prices are ridiculously high during this time of year. You can surely afford yourself a ticket, but it’s just so expensive, you’ll be skipping meals.

There’s always your balloon. You haven’t checked the burners in a while, but you definitely have enough fuel to travel to Canterlot. This method is free of charge, so it seems like a better option.

One thing that’s definitely out of the question is teleportation, due to the fact that your accuracy seems to diminish the farther you travel. Teleporting across town is no problem, and you usually end up in a meter’s proximity of where you want to be. However, traveling all the way to Canterlot, you may just teleport yourself off a cliff, or into somepony’s hotel room, or into a heater-

“AHHH!” You scream in pain. You step back and notice that you’ve been pouring hot coffee onto yourself. You sigh and clean up the mess.

After an hour, you buckle down and think about travel arrangements.

TAKE THE FRIENDSHIP EXPRESS

TAKE YOUR HOT AIR BALLOON

31

Without wanting to dawdle any longer, you head into town in hopes of finding the schedule. This bit of information could be the foundation of your other tasks. You exit the station with your party behind you. It takes a minute, but then you realize where you might find a test schedule.

You head for the center of the city. There, you see a pedestal with news clippings, sign up sheets, and fliers. You each take a look at the pedestal, and soon you find the schedule.

It looks like a brochure, but it contains a bunch of times. It’s folded into two sections. Each section holds the times for each week. The only thing that unnerves you is the fact that the schedule doesn’t tell you what the tests are, just when they take place.

You each look at each other and sigh.

You head out for your next task:

Buy Food

Find a hotel

3

You set the letter aside and begin to put away your books. You should be finished by noon. Mostly because you’ll end up reading a book or two as you’re putting them away.

After a while, Spike walks up to you. He’s hungry.

“Twilight. My stomach is yelling at me.” He says with a groan.

You shelve one more book before you say:

GO MAKE YOURSELF SOME FOOD, SPIKE

LET ME MAKE YOU SOME FOOD

5

Spike thinks about something for a second before he leaves you to get something to eat. You hear the door to the Library open, and assume he’s going to go eat out.

You continue to organize the books alphabetically by title, separating them by reading level, language, date published, genre, and other details you think are important. The idea of separating them by reading level, however, has never occurred to you before today. You decide to re-organize the other shelves in the same fashion, leaving books suited for foals on the bottom and scholar level books on the highest shelves.

After a while, you wonder where spike could be. He’s been gone for quite some time. You become worried.

SEARCH FOR SPIKE

CONTINUE ORGANIZING BOOKS

GO TO SLEEP

6

You decide that Spike is a big colt now. He can handle himself. Your eyelids become heavy and your limbs ache for rest. You have been walking around all day (which is okay since you’re a pony, but it’s still tiring) organizing books. You decide you need to take a nap.

You teleport yourself about half a meter above your bed. The fall down to the soft mattress gives you an excited feeling in your stomach causing you to giggle.

It a matter of 3 minutes, you fall asleep.

You have a dream. You know very well it’s a dream because Pinkie is currently pouring out chocolate milk into her sink. This is a highly illogical event.

Pinkie turns to you and says “You need to help.” She looks very upset, and her eyes are puffy and red.

In the background, outside the building, you can hear the roars of a savage creature.

“I can’t clean the mess all on my own.” Pinkie says. “You need to stop crying can clean up before it stains the floor.”

You have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about until you step in a puddle of chocolate milk.

You giggle and explain to Pinkie that she shouldn’t cry over spilled milk. Even if it’s chocolate.

The roar of the savage creature continues in the background. You decide to stay inside.

“You can stop this now.” Pinkie says.

The creature roars one last time before the sound of a door flying open awakens you.

You’re beyond surprised to see that it is the dead of night. It’s a new moon, so the only light available is from the street lamps outside.

You can feel a cold draft coming up the stairs, and you assume that the door is open.

A dull thud can be felt from downstairs. It startles you, and you begin to feel your heart in your throat. You calm down as you remember Pinkie’s advice: Giggle at the ghosties. You soon gather a level head and go down the stairs to investigate.

You notice that the door is indeed open. A dim orange light is cast into the room. It is obstructed by a silhouette lying on the floor. You notice one of Spike’s scales.

You sigh when you conclude that Spike got home very late and fell asleep right as he walked in. You cast an illumination spell to brighten the scene.

What you see is something that would be forever emblazoned into your mind. A trail of a crimson substance leads into the room from outside. The trail ends at Spike who lay with his face flat on the floor.

You cannot think. Not of anything. Your mind is completely devoid of any thought. That is, until your dream replays in your head.

Only this time, rather than chocolate milk, Pinkie is pouring out blood.

It replays in your head over and over.

Poor thing.

Bad Ending

SPIIIKE!! I’ve made a huge mistake!

9

You gallop down to Sugar Cube Corner, looking every which way along the route. You call out to Spike a few times with no answer.

You arrive at the huge house of confectioneries. Spike, like many ponies, has a sweet tooth. He was hungry and the food here is inexpensive (especially if you’re a closer friend). It didn’t take a mathematician to add up the facts. Spike had to have been here.

You walk in, and you’re immediately struck by the significant silence.

It wasn’t actually silent, per se, but you didn’t hear Pinkie’s giggling voice. Perhaps she was running errands.

You walk up to the counter to see Mr. Cake. He smiles at your presence.

“Why hello there, Twilight! Nice to see ya. What can I get you today?”

“Well, I was just wondering if you’ve seen Spike around. He’s been gone for quite a while and I can’t seem to find him.”

Mr. Cake’s eyes widened as he shook his head slowly. He’s probably just as frightened as you since he now has two young foals to take care of, and he’d dread the day he lost them.

“No,” He says cautiously, “I haven’t seen him. How long has he been gone?” He asks, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Hours.” You reply worriedly.

Mr. Cake turns around to look into the kitchen. He calls out to his wife. “Can you watch the register for a minute, Honey?”

She replies back with a yes.

“Two heads are defiantly better than one.” Mr. Cake says as he walks around the counter.

The two of you leave the store and discuss where you have and haven’t been around the area. You both trot around, asking passersby if they’ve seen the baby dragon. They all reply with ‘no’.

After a while, Mr. Cake has to leave to run the store. You thank him kindly for his service, and he wishes you good luck on your search. He promises to ask all his customers if they’ve seen him, and he’d get right back to Twilight with any helpful information.

You thank him again.

Soon you find yourself alone.

Search the Everfree forest

Search Rarity’s Boutique

Search Town Square

11

You canter about aimlessly, wondering where Spike could be. Suddenly, you find yourself heading towards Rarity’s house. You’ve noticed that Spike has a hopeless crush on Rarity. Perhaps he went to go pay her a visit and lost track of time. This is what you’re hoping.

You arrive at Rarity’s boutique. After letting yourself in, Rarity welcomes you.

“Hello, Rarity,” you say, checking behind her back for any signs of Spike “how’ve you been?”

Rarity giggles and shifts her body to the side, mirroring you and obstructing your view of what could be behind her. “Why, I’ve been busy!”

You shift your body to the other side, and Rarity imitates your movement. It’s as if she has something to hide.

“Rarity,” you ask carefully, “what’s behind your back?”

“Whatever do you mean, dear?” Rarity asks, nonchalantly.

You stretch your neck up high to look over Rarity, and again, she does the same.

Finally, you’ve had enough. You use your magic to levitate Rarity out of the way and behind you.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!!” Rarity pleads as she flies into the air.

You find a rack of black clothing, all of which are adorned with violet lace and ribbon. They look stylish, not too ostentatious. Classy.

“Are you satisfied?” Rarity hisses.

You’re confused now.

“You see,” Rarity begins, “this line of clothing is for the average mare. One who isn’t affluent enough to purchase my finer works.” Rarity gestures over to her dresses that are bejeweled with diamonds. “I didn’t want anypony to see these until they were complete.”

Rarity throws a scowl your way.

“Um, I’m sorry.” You manage to say. “I’m looking for Spike. You haven’t seen him by any chance, have you?”

Rarity begins to shake her head. “No, I can’t say I have. Is he missing?” She raises her eyebrow.

To answer the question, you look at the clock. You haven’t seen him in a while. At this point, you’d conclude him to be ‘lost’ rather than missing.

“No. I just have no idea where he is.” You say.

Rarity shakes her head. “I don’t know. Perhaps a cup of tea may clear your mind?”

Stay for tea

Search Sugar Cube Corner

Search the Everfree forest

Search Town Square

16

You figure the only way to save Spike is to set the manticore on fire. Spike has a slight immunity to combustion, being that he is a dragon with inflammable scales.

By burning the manticore, you’ll stall him with the flames, also leaving Spike unharmed.

You decide to give it a shot. With your horn, you cast a small fire on the manticore’s tail. Before he could even take notice, the rain puts the fire out. You decide you’ll need a much bigger fire.

You decide to cast a huge inferno on the manticore’s mane. You hope you don’t seriously harm the poor creature; that would be terrible. With your horn, you successfully ignite the creature’s fur, causing it to do just as you wanted.

Unfortunately, the creature stumbles back on its own tail and crashes into a tree. The tree then manages to catch fire. Despite the heavy rain, the fire is able to burn consistently, burning any organic materials it comes in contact with.

You gallop towards Spike in hopes of teleporting him back home with you. Suddenly, a large, flaming branch knocks you on the head. Your mane catches fire, and the pain is immensely scorching.

You try to roll around in a puddle made by the downpour, but it doesn’t help quickly enough. You gallop towards a larger puddle effectively dousing the flames on your head.

That’s when the trees all started collapsing. You’re first instinct is to teleport right back home before you can be trapped, but Spike isn’t close enough to you. You try to dive for him, but another large branch comes crashing down onto you. This one severs your spine.

You’ve lost all feeling in the lower half of your body, and the half you can feel is in tremendous pain. The fire in the forest grows larger. You completely forget that it’s raining. Perhaps gasoline is falling from the sky.

Spike runs towards you and holds you close. He somehow musters the strength to lift the branch off your back. With Spike now by your side, you attempt to teleport to a hospital, but to no avail.

You simply cannot produce any energy. You shake your head in defeat. Spike is yelling for you to try again. When he realizes the state you’re in, he tries to pull you to a hospital himself.

You try to tell Spike to leave you here, but it seems that message went right by his head. You’re losing consciousness now.

You’re slowly fading away.

Why would you even set a manticore on fire?

DEATH BY KARMA

That was awful of me! I’ll re-think my ways.

32

Next, noticing that it’s getting dark, you all head deeper into Canterlot in hopes of finding a place to stay. Over the course of an hour (which is rather fast, thanks to yours and Trixie’s teleportation abilities) you find that all the hotels you’ve seen were too expensive. Then again, they were all luxurious. It’s natural that the prices were through the roof.

Most ponies taking the tests are foals, and they’re granted room and board at the palace during the test time if they aren’t from Canterlot. In this case, where scholars are re-taking these tests, most ponies are rich and successful, and can easily afford a room in these fancy hotels.

Although you, Trixie, Colgate, and Lyra are all scholars in your respective fields, neither of you are ‘well off.’ So, staying in these hotels is out of the question.

Lyra suggests that since you and Trixie teleport, they just all live in the library back in Ponyville and teleport back to the tests. Trixie was quick to say that teleporting such far distances is extremely difficult, which is why she took the train. You nod and agree.

You’re about to suggest that you all stay at your parents place, but then realize that they’ve traveled abroad while the house is being renovated.

Eventually, Colgate finds one hotel far into the mountains that is just perfect. Price-wise, that is. It’s free of charge. There are 5 beds that are really just mattresses tossed out haphazardly onto the floor with dirty blankets over three of them. The two beds without blankets have plastic wrap draped carelessly over them.

The walls are sporting dark blue wallpaper that seems to be hanging on for dear life. Most of it has peeled away and lay on the floor in a small cyan trash pile.

Although there are 5 beds, there is only 1 bathroom without a door and a busted sink. The bedroom and the kitchen are separated by what seems to be a large purple shower curtain that hangs from a lop-sided coat hanger type bar that spans the whole room.

The kitchen seems to be the only nice place in the room. Its sink isn’t sparkling clean, but it has a nice silver finish that looks as if it could glisten if given a good scrub. The fridge is actually rather large compared to most fridges. It’s a double door with a drawer-like freezer below. It looks a bit old, but it’s quite chilly when opened and can easily cool the whole room.

After about 20 minutes of examining the room, you each agree on using it for the tests. It was a unanimous decision.

Now that you have a place to stay, it’s time to fill up the fridge.

Buy Food

34

You decide the first, most important thing you need to do is head into Canterlot in hopes of finding a place to stay. Over the course of an hour (which is actually rather fast, thanks to yours and Trixie’s teleportation abilities) you find that all the hotels you’ve seen were too expensive. Then again, they were all luxurious. It’s natural that the prices were through the roof.

Most ponies taking the tests are foals, and they’re granted room and board at the palace during the test time if they aren’t from Canterlot. In this case, where scholars are re-taking these tests, most ponies are rich and successful, and can easily afford a room in these fancy hotels.

Although you, Trixie, Colgate, and Lyra are all scholars in your respective fields, neither of you are ‘well off.’ So, staying in these hotels is out of the question.

Lyra suggests that since you and Trixie can teleport, they just all live in the library back in Ponyville and teleport to the tests. Trixie was quick to say that teleporting such far distances is extremely difficult, which is why she took the train.

You’re about to suggest that you all stay at your parents place, but then realize that they’ve traveled abroad while the house is being renovated. It isn’t an option at the moment.

Eventually, Colgate finds one hotel far into the mountains that is just perfect. Price-wise, that is. It’s free of charge. There are 5 beds that are really just mattresses tossed out haphazardly onto the floor with dirty blankets over three of them. The two beds without blankets have plastic wrap draped carelessly over them.

The walls are sporting dark blue wallpaper that seems to be hanging on for dear life. Most of it has peeled away and lay on the floor in a small cyan trash pile.

Although there are 5 beds, there is only 1 bathroom without a door and a busted sink. The bedroom and the kitchen are separated by what seems to be a large purple shower curtain that hangs from a lop-sided coat hanger type bar that spans the whole room.

The kitchen seems to be the only nice place in the room. Its sink isn’t sparkling clean, but it has a nice silver finish that looks as if it could glisten if given a good scrub. The fridge is actually rather large compared to most fridges. It’s a double door with a drawer-like freezer below. It looks a bit old, but it’s quite chilly when opened and can easily cool the whole room.

After about 30 minutes of examining the room, you each agree on using it for the tests. It was a unanimous decision.

Buy Food

Find a Testing Schedule

35

It’s now time to buy food. You’ve noticed a grocery store filled with good products along your travel here, and Lyra decides to buy from there. You all enter the store that offers a pleasant breeze as you pass through the doors. The market is indoors, and looks very sophisticated. Each aisle is marked with what products lie within them. The floor is well polished, and everything seems to reflect back off of it.

You’ve forgotten all about these kinds of grocery stores as you got accustomed to shopping in the outdoor markets of Ponyville. You split up into two groups and set out to grab essentials such as milk and noodles. You are paired with Colgate, and you both head towards the bakery. There, you see a large assortment of bread ranging anywhere from rye, white, wheat, and honey to styles of bread like croissants, rolls, bagels, and pretzels.

You both decide to purchase a loaf of wheat bread, a loaf of white bread, and a cheese bread roll. You thank the bakers for their service and head farther into the store. As you push your cart through the aisles, you realize that there are only a few other ponies shopping here.

After 15 minutes, you’ve received everything you think 4 fully grown mares would need to last 2 weeks in the blazing summer. Needless to say, you brought a lot of drinks and fruit. You’ve passed by Lyra and Trixie a few times, cracking jokes like ‘nice to see you again, strangers!’ or ‘wow, look at those losers.’ Eventually you each meet up at a register and wait in line for an extra 5 minutes or so.

The price has everypony’s eyes boggling. It came out to a total none of you were expecting. Colgate and Lyra pay with all their money, and it isn’t enough at all. You cough up everything you have as well, and the price is still only half paid. You’re contemplating putting the snacks back when Trixie pays the rest with all of her money. It happens to be just enough.

You each grumble and walk off without any bits to speak of. When you leave the building, however, you each thank Trixie for paying half the cost.

You teleport the groceries back to the room with Trixie and return to the other girls in search of the testing schedule.

Find the testing schedule

42

You wander around Canterlot in hopes of finding a place to stay. Over the course of an hour (which is actually rather fast, thanks to yours and Trixie’s teleportation abilities) you find that all the hotels you’ve seen cost money. Figures.

Most ponies taking the tests are foals, and they’re granted room and board at the palace during the test time if they aren’t from Canterlot. In this case, where scholars are re-taking these tests, most ponies are rich and successful, and can easily afford a room in these fancy hotels.

Although you, Trixie, Colgate, and Lyra are all scholars in your respective fields, neither of you were smart enough to rent a hotel ahead of time.

Lyra suggests that since you and Trixie and teleport, they just all live in the library back in Ponyville and teleport to the tests. Trixie was quick to say that teleporting such far distances is extremely difficult, which is why she took the train. You also note that you’ve taken the train for the same reason.

You’re about to suggest that you all stay at your parents place, but then realize that they’ve traveled abroad while the house is being renovated.

Eventually, Colgate finds one hotel far into the mountains that is just perfect. Well, It’s free of charge. There are 5 beds that are really just mattresses tossed out haphazardly onto the floor with dirty blankets over three of them. The two beds without blankets have plastic wrap draped carelessly over them.

The walls are sporting dark blue wallpaper that seems to be hanging on for dear life. Most of it has peeled away and lay on the floor in a small cyan trash pile.

Although there are 5 beds, there is only 1 bathroom without a door and a busted sink. The bedroom and the kitchen are separated by what seems to be a large purple shower curtain that hangs from a lop-sided coat hanger type bar that spans the whole room.

The kitchen seems to be the only nice place in the room. Its sink isn’t sparkling clean, but it has a nice silver finish that looks as if it could glisten if given a good scrub. The fridge is actually rather large compared to most fridges. It’s a double door with a drawer-like freezer below. It looks a bit old, but it’s quite chilly when opened and can easily cool the whole room.

After about 12 minutes of examining the room, you each agree on using it for the tests. It was the only decision, after all.

You each lay down your grocery bags, exhausted from carrying them everywhere. Colgate goes off to tell the land lady that the room will be taken.

There’s only one thing left on your list now.

Find the test Schedule

50

“Hey,” you an idea pops into your head, “I know! Why don’t we just teach each other what we know?”

“Ehhh, It’s a good idea, but we won’t learn much before the tests start.” Colgate says.

“We’ll just have to skimp out on breakfast.” Lyra states.

You all nod your heads in agreement.

“Besides, the breakfasts they provide taste terribly awful anyway.” Lyra adds. Everypony laughs and agrees.

You make your way to the center of town. The testing committee is there, and they’re giving out muffins for breakfast with a carton of orange juice. Everypony seems to accept it begrudgingly.

While everypony else found seats to eat their provided breakfast, you and your group all sit on crates across the street. You each discus what you know about your respective strong point and the listeners would try to absorb every bit of information.

This lasted as long as you guys could drag it on. Now, the tests are being distributed while the rules are read to everypony.

You’re currently where most of the testers are. On the sidewalk under a building’s to get adequate shade from the harsh sun. As you’ve expected, the young foals who should actually be taking these tests are taking them in the princesses’ castle where they are currently receiving the same instructions from different ponies. There are spots all around the city where tests are being distributed and ‘Hush: Tests in progress’ signs are raised.

You receive your test and you’re suddenly startled by a loud groan in your stomach. You look down, almost as if you’re about to respond to it when you realize you’ve skipped the most important meal of the day.

The test kills you.

DEATH BY HUNGER

Okay, that’s just retarded.

I can’t take this anymore.

54

You concentrate a small amount of magic on the chalk and levitate it above the guard’s head without him noticing. Colgate notices it and changes her answer.

The rest of this portion of the tests pretty much runs like that. It’s very smooth and very successful. There was only one point where the guard told you all to sit further apart, and that didn’t hinder you at all. You notice that Colgate chose to answer some of her questions incorrectly, which is wise. You’d have followed her example if it wasn’t for the fact that you know everything there is about basic Greek vocabulary.

The next portion of the test, conversation, is where you barely know anything. Colgate, Lyra, and Trixie were all levitating the right rocks for you to see. Each answer was marked accordingly.

The next tests (contemporary usage) were pretty much the same with nothing special happening except for the guard sneezing. ‘Gesundheit’ ‘bless you’ and ‘saluta’ roars around town along with what sounds like the princess saying ‘geítses’ from her castle. That made every one laugh, including the guard who sheepishly said ‘thank you, your highness.’

It’s at this point that you realize that these tests actually feel kinda fun. This is surprising since it feels as if they’re designed to kill a pony. Then, as you notice the floating argillite and mark your answer A, you remember that you’re cheating.

The full gravity of it all starts settling in. Your blood rushes to your face, and you can feel yourself flutter a pulse until your heart is racing. You never cheat. It’s unjust! What will the princess think?!

The best thing for you to do now is to turn yourself in. You’ve already cheated. That way, the princess will still have respect for you, though she will now know how wild you can be. It’s the right thing to do.

You look at Trixie, who gives you a warm smile that reminds you of all your friends. It’s a smile that is radiant, but subtle. You couldn’t help but to smile back awkwardly. You glace over at Lyra whose ear twitches at you. Colgate giggles.

“Eyes on your papers, ladies.” The guard whispers.

You know that if you turn yourself in, your friends will get the punishment too. You can try to take all the blame for them, but that’s easier said than done.

Then again, there is only one question left, and it’s dolomite. You could just mark it and never speak of this again.

‘Let us never speak of this again.’

‘FINE! I’M GUILTY!’

56

You’re not stupid, so you don’t jump.

However, the guards are stupid, and they mistakenly tackle into you, knocking you off of the cliff along with Lyra, Colgate, and Trixie.

You’re all plummeting to your deaths, shrieking at the tops of your lungs.

In the distance, you hear a familiar voice.

“I’m comin’! ”

You’re still screaming, just suddenly you feel a high speed jolt hit you from the side, You open your eyes to see a rainbow in your face. It’s Rainbow Dash. Before you could thank her, she was up in the air again, and before you could sigh, she came back with Lyra. Before you could both stare awkwardly at each other, Rainbow zipped off again to fetch Colgate.

“Are you guys okay?” Rainbow Dash asked, worried.

“Where’s Trixie?” You ask, equally worried.

You all look up and see Trixie galloping vertically down the cliff at a high speed. The Pegasus guards are still chasing her.

Use magic to start an avalanche

Use magic to levitate Trixie

57

Quickly, you focus all your magic on Trixie in an attempt to get her out of harm’s way. As you lift her from the cliff, however, a Pegasus guard swoops in and grabs her by the hair. She screams a sound that could only tell that she was in agony. The guard whisks her away from your sight back to Canterlot.

You’re devastated, and you buckle to the ground in a heap of sadness.

“What happened?!” Rainbow asked, demanding an answer.

“I goofed up…” you say solemnly.

Rainbow looks up into the sky, then bolts up into the air without any warning.

You know she’s going to try to save Trixie, but she can’t do it alone. She’s going to get arrested too.

You teleport onto Rainbow’s hoof while you have the chance. The extra weight seems to slow Rainbow down a bit, but she isn’t stopping. You both ascend rapidly into the air until Canterlot is visible again. You see Trixie being thrown into a cart.

“Alright, Twilight…” Rainbow yells over the wind “go get her!”

Rainbow does a somersault and flings you towards the cart. The speed is immense as you soar over the cliff and above the city.

You crash-land through the cart, tackling Trixie, and burn-out onto the street. The guards notice the escape and apprehend you both. Rainbow Dash, once again tries to be a hero, but only gets caught by two pegasus guards.

On the way to the precinct, there is no conversation. Only facial expressions. Trixie seems calm, since she’s probably been to jail before. She sends thankful faces your way for the efforts.

Rainbow looks terribly frightened and vexed. Her eyes dart every which way, not believing what she’s seeing.

You’re trying to keep a straight face, but really you’re angry. Angry with yourself for not keeping your mouth shut. You could have been done with the test and went back to the room to celebrate. What ticks you off the most is the fact that you hurt your friends, and yet they still helped you. It made you feel like a terrible little pony.

After getting to the precinct, you are tried for multiple crimes against the educational system of Canterlot, the city itself, and even the Princess, personally. In the court case, you decide to represent yourself alongside Trixie…

TO BE CONTINUED IN PT 2