Madness and Other Allergies

by iEatIdiots

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Pinkie Pie, Random, Crossover, Human
Length: 1431

A hattress and a pony break up fourth walls.

Pinkie Pie is feeling restless. She wants to go nowhere in particular, smash a few things up, and break a certain type of wall.

Meanwhile, at a colourful high school where people are aware of the fact that they are merely characters, Maddie Hatter starts feeling restless as well. Surprise tea parties don’t help, so what does?

One-shot.

This is a fourth-wall-breaking, crossover fanfiction with facepalming narrators that blends My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic with Ever After High. ¬

MLP:FIM belongs to Hasbro, and EAH belongs to Hasbro’s mortal enemy, Mattel.

Published 2013-06-18 08:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-18 08:00:02 UTC

This is Madness

Maddie Hatter was restless. Her best friend Raven was far too over-obsessed with the Rebel cause, Earl Grey, her dormouse, had a stomach bug and was refusing his tea, and there was something going on at the fourth wall. This restlessness gave Maddie nervous tingles down her spine, which made her start skipping more, and skipping more made her… look more ridiculous.

Looking ridiculous was fine. Everything was fine. Heck, it was always fine. Raven was doing well with the cause, Earl Grey would probably eventually vomit out the bug, and whatever the fourth wall was doing, it would stop. Eventually, Maddie would avoid navigating through the forest of nervous tingles, pulling out tea sets for surprise tea parties to calm her nerves.

“Hey, how come there aren’t any proper narrators today?” she wondered aloud, her teacup halfway to her mouth.

“Who are you talking to, Maddie?” Raven walked past. “I don’t see any of these narrator people.”

“You don’t see narrators, Queenie! You hear them. Or at least I hear them! I’m the only one who can.” She glanced at the dark-haired girl, a grin beaming across her face. Her friend, still confused, shook her head and walked on by.

Maddie resumed her mini tea party, doing nothing in particular.

~~~

Pinkie Pie was on a constant terminal velocity of restlessness. This was because she was feeling this restlessness in everything that she did, and most likely because she felt a kind of connection across from some place that she couldn’t exactly pinpoint. She felt so restless that she needed to use physic terms incorrectly to even express that restlessness.

“Yes, we are connecting
Yes, we are connecting…” she sang while she hopped along the averagely-busy Ponyville streets, hoping that a song might help further the connecting restlessness that she was feeling. “Maybe it’s just Pinkie Sense,” she thought aloud. “Or... or maybe! Maybe it’s, uh, maybe A NEW WORLD OUT THERE! But where would they place a new world? Will there be desserts in that world? How would a world survive without dessert? **GASP** MAYBE I NEED TO GO TO THIS WORLD AND SHOW THEM THE DELIGHTS OF DESSERT!!!”

It sounded like a good idea as any, so Pinkie bustled out of the not-so-busy streets, and headed for nowhere in particular.

~~~

There’s a problem with doing nothing in particular, and going nowhere in particular, especially when someone happens to be an incredibly talented, party and fun loving individual who could see into the immediate future.

Our heroes have unwillingly entered into the nonfiction-sphere, because they had nothing and nowhere in particular embedded into their heads, which gave them an automatic pass to the nonfiction-sphere.

Well, sort of automatic pass, since both of them were accepted into the Fellowship of the Br––

”Excuse me, but I believe that is confidential information only shared between narrators.”

”Oh, let her say it! It makes for a good story.”

”A good story? Good stories are supposed to follow the plot, and follow tradition, so the stories WILL CONTINUE TO EXIST.”

“NOPE! Good stories should pave their own path, since what fun is copying someone else’s? Geez, it didn’t turn out good for me. I followed Dad’s path, proposed to the first girl who I fell in love with my excuse of a face, and look where I am now!”

”HELLO, WHO IS TELLING THE STORY HERE? THE AUTHOR OR THE NARRATORS? I THOUGHT THIS CROSSOVER IDEA WOULD BE EPIC UNTIL YOU STORMED HERE AND TOOK MY THUNDER. Uh. Pun totally not intended.”

”Apologies, dear, please continue.”

*sigh* So, they were accepted into a super top secret group for people like them. This happened sometime before the events in this fanfiction, I believe. This organisation was for people who disagreed with society’s conception of reality, and made their own! For people who knew the truth behind the bad things happening and why people acted in a certain way! For people who were just kick-ass awesome and knew their stuff! It was a sanctuary, a safe haven for those like-minded people.

”I believe the pink one is a pony, not a person.”

”Living things with human or near-human intelligence doesn’t have quite the ring to it.”

”Still, insulting to those who aren’t exactly human.”

“Who are they?” Pinkie asked Maddie, turning to face the Hattress, who she just collided with. “Their argy-bargy sounds so horrendously unbelievably horrifying!”

“The narrators! You can hear them too? They bicker like a married couple, and always push all the characters around! Except for me. I can’t get pushed around, narrators! You shall never push me around, narrators!” Maddie puffed her chest up proudly.

That girl is crazy, and we bicker like one because we are one.

No, she just happens to be her father’s daughter.

And her father happens to be the craziest of them all. Daughter of the Mad Hatter, hello?

*pause* Valid point.

“Well, they do need some cheering up! Lots and lots and lots of fun!”

“Hey, you know what would be fun?” Maddie said. She stood up, a daring spark in her eye.

“Fun? Did you say fun? I looove fun! Gimme!”

“Since we gone through the pain the fourth wall put me and you through… I believe its time for revenge!” she laughed a kind of mad, insane laugh noticeable on evil villains. “You’re in for it now, wall of fourth!”

”Please don’t tell me that they’re going to do what I feared.”

The two glanced into each other’s eyes, grinned widely, and ran towards the barrier.

”They are.”

Pinkie produced a club and sledgehammer out of nowhere, threw the club at Maddie, and began to bash the illusory wall with all her might. The wall refused to shatter at first, but eventually gave in; fragments rolling off it like a sandcastle in the wind.

”Well, that escalated quickly.”

Maddie caught the club by the end; the fourth wall received the handgrip. She furiously hit the wall with a THWACK!, watching the rubber handle flinging off the club. Unsatisfied with the handle’s reliability, she tossed it aside, in search of her porcelain tea set. Once she found the expensive pieces of china, she flung it at the wall, shattering it. She felt good, seeing the wall slowly crumple down. She felt good to finally destroy the barrier.

No! What are you two doing?

Don’t they realise the consequences?

You got to, no you have to stop them!

Don’t you think they might bash us into smithereens as well?

You’re not going to run away!

Nuh uh, I think I will!

Well, I’m coming with you then!

The narrators fled from the scene.

Madeline and Pinkamena continued their hysterical game of smashed porcelain and bruised sledgehammers. They continued this until the floor was littered with glass, china and burnt items of questionable intentions. They continued until the wall, although still standing tall, was heavily broken, the previously smooth surface rough and uneven.

The two sprawled out on the floor, on top of the broken glass and broken china and burnt gloves and rubber handles, not minding the uncomfortable hardness of the ground at all. They clutched their stomachs, rolled over, and teals of laughter rolled out like an undulating countryside on a car’s screen.

BEEEEP!!***. A watch sounded.

“Oh! It’s tea time!” Maddie leapt up instantaneously, grabbing bits and pieces off the floor that were once part of her old tea set. “Afternoon tea, more specifically. Do you think we could have crumpets this time?”

“Will there be cupcakes? Or crumpet flavoured cupcakes? What will that taste like?” Pinkie paused for a moment, and turned her head to face the reader. “Maybe if we bake crumpet flavoured cupcakes there will finally be an end to all these plot holes!”

Author's Note

Wanted to do an Ever After High/My Little Pony crossover ever since I saw Madeline Hatter make her appearance in Mattel’s new doll line. If you take this work seriously, then you deserve a bonk on the head and an execution from the Fellowship of Broken Fourth Walls. The FBRW have never taken anything seriously and never will. Oh yes, I just revealed the name. Narrators, kill me now.

This is probably OOC for both characters, since it’s my first time writing Pinkie, and EAH is a new franchise, so we haven’t seen much of Maddie (yet).

I hope you found it relatively easy to distinguish which narrator was the male one and the female one, because I didn’t want to add anything special to separate them.