Hormones

by Flutterwhy4

Rating: mature
Tags: Applejack, Spike, Rarity, Princess Celestia, Sex, Winona, Tragedy, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sweetie Belle, Sad
Length: 14550

Disturbing as hell. Read at your own risk. Spike x Winona

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK:
This story is one part sexy, two parts disturbing, and three parts "WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO READ THIS?!?"
It involves the tale of Spike battling the hormones inside him as he reaches a pubescent state. His mind wanders through all kinds of perverse thoughts and the story just goes spiraling downhill after the very first chapter.

Chapter 4 in particular is both disturbing and depressing.

Published 2011-09-30 00:38:53 UTC
Last updated 2011-11-28 04:09:05 UTC

Chapter 1: Spike's Return

Hormones

Chapter 1: Spike's Return

By Flutterwhy4

It was a quiet evening across Equestria. Only hours earlier the cacophony of busy ponies trotting from shop to shop had echoed through the town of Ponyville; now the streets were empty as Princess Celestia performed her Alicorn duties, bringing the sun magically to the horizon. In the distance, a silhouette crossed the darkening sky, a flying chariot chauffeured by two white pegasi, clad in golden armor and blue-tufted helmets. The golden chariot descended from Canterlot towards Ponyville carrying its only passenger, a small purple dragon named Spike. Spike had been away to Canterlot for royal business as he sometimes had to. He never enjoyed leaving Twilight and his friends in Ponyville, however he knew his place in Princess Celestia’s kingdom and accepted that she would need to meet with him personally from time to time. This had been different however.

When Spike went to Canterlot, he would usually end up staying for the night. Business tended to take all day and by the time Spike was finished it was typically far too late for him to make the flight home. Today things had proceeded so smoothly that it wasn’t even sundown when Celestia informed Spike that she no longer required his presence. Spike considered staying the night as Twilight wasn’t expecting him back until morning and because the guest bedroom in the palace was so luxurious; it was a rare treat for Spike to burrow under the warm bedspread and fall into a deep, rejuvenating slumber. Spike could almost feel the high thread-count fabric pressed against his cheek, but despite the temptation, the young dragon couldn’t resist seeing his best friend again.

Spike felt unusually wide awake as his royal taxi neared its destination. He laid on his back and looked up at the pinpricks of light that were becoming visible as the moon replaced the sun in the night sky. Cool air blustered past the carriage, chilling Spike’s scaly body until slowly it stopped and the chariot came to a halt outside the library. Spike sat up and took notice of his surroundings. Not more than a few seconds had passed before Spike had hopped off the back of the chariot and thanked the royal guards for their late-night service. They were too well trained to respond and without so much as acknowledging the dragon their wings began to flap once more and they lifted off into the sky dragging the empty chariot behind them.

The sun was now completely obscured by the horizon and it had become very dark outside. Spike felt a fuzziness inside him knowing he was home and would soon see his dear Twilight again. Light fell on the ground from the picture window to the right of the library’s red door. It wasn’t unusual, Twilight was a night person; she was usually up reading while Spike fell asleep in his basket bed, however what was unusual was the faint sound of laughter and talking that Spike could hear from inside. He began to reach for the door handle and grasped its cold exterior, but stopped himself and took his hand off of the metal. The dragon could hear at least three feminine voices, heavily muffled by the building of course. Curious, the boy strolled over to the window and peered inside. Three giggling figures shifted playfully in the center of the library, Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity. Twi had told Spike about the time he was away and Rarity and AJ had come over during the thunderstorm and had a slumber party. He remembered her being excited at the time at the idea that the group might have more frequent sleepovers in the future. She must have taken the opportunity of Spike’s absence to invite the girls over. Now regretting his decision to pass up a warm slumber in the Princesses tower, Spike sighed as he watched the ponies. He couldn’t go in now; he was too polite to interrupt their fun. Twilight would probably be happy to see him, but it was supposed to be a girl’s night and he couldn’t take that away from Twilight, she did, after all, need everything to go “by the book” and Spike wouldn’t have a place on her slumber party checklist.

Spike told himself he was being polite, but there was a far less noble reason behind Spike’s decision. Spike’s crush Rarity was lying on her back in a very unladylike position and Spike was getting a wonderful view of her tail and hindquarters. To most potential viewers, it would’ve been an innocent scene, three young ponies having a slumber party, sharing stories, laughing, make-overs… but as Spike stood in the glow of that window his horny, boyish mind drifted to places he didn’t dare share with anyone.

Oh my! thought Spike as he gazed upon the supple white flank of his dear Rarity. She in particular was the subject of many a fantasy in Spike’s imaginative young head. Of course, Spike was a young boy and his hormones often drove him crazy. Especially since he’d come with Twilight to Ponyville, Spike had been having increasingly dirty thoughts and desires. The opposite sex was becoming very attractive, sometimes he even saw something more than a friend when he gazed into Twilight’s purple eyes.

Spike’s face went red and his eyes darted around him as he realized he was still outside, staring into his own window like a peeping tom. He surveyed the dark streets of Ponyville and when he had finally convinced himself that no one was watching him he returned to the window and placed his hand to his crotch. It was times like this that he felt blessed to be the only resident in Ponyville with thumbs. Rarity rolled over in a new fit of giggling, Spike watched on with giant eyes as her girly bits came into glorious view. While ponies typically walked around in the nude, they tended to keep themselves covered with their tail. Spike was loving this.

Ooooooooooo Rarity… Boy I’d like to have some of her. The words ran through his head while his cock poked out from its scaly hiding place and grew hard in Spike’s hand. It was long for his size, fire-engine red and slippery. Spike’s hand moved up and down his length, gripping tightly, pushing precum out of his urethra. The clear liquid dribbled into the bushes outside the library as Spike pleasured himself in public. Rarity had a puffy mound, complete with two plump pussy lips. Spike imagined them as pillows, softer than even the finest fabric in the guest bedroom he’d turned down no more than an hour ago. Her tailhole was clean and ladylike, just as white as the rest of her.

Spike wanted Rarity for more than just sex; he wanted a relationship with her, he wanted love, but right now the dragon was horny as hell and all he could think about was ramming his red-hot rod into Rarity from behind. He wanted to take her, make her feel the pleasure he knew she deserved, the pleasure he was feeling right now. His breath condensed on the window in the cool night as Spike’s hand gripped tightly and moved faster on his penis. He closed his eyes and imagined lewd, passionate sex with the white unicorn. He heard her voice, breaking under his powerful thrusts: Uhhhh Uhhhh Uhhhh Uhhhh Uhhhh Ahhhh Ahhhh Oooo gently please! Ahhhh Oh my Spike, his imagination stood in for Rarity, making obscene use of the things he’d overheard her say since he began his stay in Ponyville.

Spike edged closer to his sexual plateau and explored more fantasies. He had no shortage of imagination, just the opposite… as he’d get bored with one mental image his mind would snap to another like a slide projector of filth. He imagined the girly slumber party turning kinky.

“I have an idea, let’s play Truth-or-Dare!” said the Twilight in Spike’s imagination… he moaned as he thought of the girls daring each other into all sorts of adult activity. First Applejack and Rarity would share a long, deep kiss, holding each other tenderly, then Rarity would dare Twilight into participating in some heavy petting, then Spike’s mind really turned up the heat and imagined the three girls taking turns eating each other out. He could truly hear Rarity moaning as Twilight put her book knowledge to some use and used her tongue in all the right places.

“Oh! TWILIGHT!! You must tell me how you got so GOOD at this!” Rarity would offer the compliment making Twilight Sparkle blush as she slurped at her friends sopping pussy. Spike progressed through hotter and hotter scenarios… he pictured himself kicking in the door during the girl’s impromptu pussy-licking, their wet faces gazing up at him and his throbbing erection. He could picture their bedtime eyes beckoning him; they’d line up their flanks for him and bend over, lifting their tails in unison, presenting him with three juicy options; three curvy feminine asses wiggling invitingly, a living buffet of carnal pleasure… with that thought Spike came. He stifled a grunt as his seed shot into the bushes and then dribbled over his finger.

Spike leaned against the tree and tried to catch his breath. He released his spent cock and panted as his pleasure subsided. He felt satisfied. He’d just done something naughty. He’d masturbated in public and gotten away with it. Rarity would never find out that he had cum while looking at her… it was so perverted, and Spike liked the feeling. Wetness on his small hand drew his attention. A ropey strand of dragon cum hung from his finger, wobbling awkwardly in a lewd ballet as Spike moved his hand. He went to wipe it on the leaves of the bush when a naughty thought crossed his mind. With a dirty grin on his face Spike raised his hand above his head and opened his mouth. Spike positioned the rope of semen over his lips and with a prod from his tongue the white goo fell into his mouth. Spike tasted his own sperm, swishing it across his tongue, enjoying the mild saltiness. Spike was curious and he imagined himself as Rarity, gobbling up his seed after a heated sexual encounter. It only seemed fair that if he was to ever cum in his dream girl’s mouth that he knew what he tasted like. Spike swallowed his oyster-like payload and licked his finger clean of the remaining residue.

This doesn’t make me gay does it? Spike’s inner monologue asked. Just as soon as he had questioned his sexuality he had his answer: Nah… I just came while thinking about Rarity. I was just curious, that’s all. He assured himself. The purple dragon came back to reality and, leaving the window, pranced around behind the library and found a soft patch of grass to lie down on and try to sleep. He’d wait until morning to head inside. He was enjoying the peaceful quiet of the night anyway after having been outside for so long. Spike gazed up at the starry sky and slowly drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 2: Descent

Hormones

Chapter 2: Descent

By Flutterwhy4

The following weeks saw Spike become more and more sexual in his thoughts. His masturbation picked up as well, becoming a daily routine, sometimes more than daily. Whenever Spike got a moment away from Twilight he immediately thought of pleasuring himself, taking advantage of the alone time. Often at night, Spike would feign being tired before he actually was so that he could retire to his basket and play with himself. It was never odd to Twilight, he was a baby dragon after all and needed his rest… or so she thought. The truth was he was far less of a baby than she believed. Dragons go through puberty while they are still small and Spike had reached the age where hormones sashayed wildly through his veins and platonic thoughts became increasingly rare.

Spike sat in his warm basket and stroked his cock once again. He never tired of doing this. He never chaffed and never didn’t feel like doing it; it was always pleasurable. Sometimes if he’d already cum a couple times that day it would be hard to reach a third orgasm, but it was times like that that spurred him to creativity. He’d try different positions, different techniques, he’d think about different ponies, whatever it took to get him off. One time the dragon had even fetched a length of ribbon from one of Twilight’s drawers and tied it tautly around his right wrist, cutting off the circulation to his hand. He thought he might make it feel like someone else was jerking him off and it could have worked if it wasn’t for the fact that everyone he could think of had hooves. The only person he could imagine as he stroked his slimy erection with his oxygen-deprived hand was Gilda, the griffon Dash had brought to town one day, and it wasn’t a very pleasant image. Spike only tried that once, his hand actually began to ache pretty severely after a while and he was forced to remove the tourniquet he’d fashioned and abandon his plans of having an orgasm that night.

Tonight Spike had an idea. This time when Spike went to bed he didn’t sleep; he stayed awake for what seemed like hours, just listening to the silence. Finally, he heard the noise he’d been waiting for, a pony stirring downstairs. Twilight had been up late with her head in her books, as usual. Now it was time for her to hit the hay. She blew out the candles she’d lit and with a glow of her horn replaced the books on the shelves where they belonged. Spike watched the light from the hallway disappear and anxiously waited for Twilight. They slept in the same room, a large room with two levels. Twilight slept on the upper level next to the big window and her telescope. Spike heard hoofsteps and closed his eyes, pretending to be sound asleep. The purple mare trotted past his basket ever so quietly, trying politely to not disturb him. Spike opened one eye just a hair to watch as Twilight ascended the stairs to her bed. She climbed into her bed and laid down on her side under the blue covers, head propped up gently by a soft, white pillow. Spike knew Twilight was a heavy sleeper, and he waited for the sounds of rustling sheets and deep breathing to cease before he made his move. Satisfied that Twilight had fallen asleep, Spike eased his foot out of his tiny bed followed by the rest of him. Dragging his blanket in tow, Spike tip-toed up the stairs to where his friend was. As he got closer to his destination he moved slower and slower.

Finally, Spike was standing beside Twilight’s bed. She looked so peaceful, she was facing away from Spike; her breathing was light and she was snuggled into her covers, bathed in the gentle moonlight that beamed through her window. Spike watched the lump under the bedspread move up then down with each long, shallow breath Twilight took. His heart was racing, he’d never done this before; he had never watched Twilight sleep before. No, she wasn’t really Twilight anymore… all that mattered was that she was a girl. He was watching a girl sleep. Spike felt an erection coming on. This was the thrill he needed to get off tonight. Dropping his blanket on the floor he traced his finger along the blue bedspread, running it over Twilight’s sleeping body, feeling her warmth through the covers. Spike grabbed his now throbbing, red cock and began to stroke as he touched the sleeping mare. He paused as his hand grazed her flank. He laid his palm flat on her backside and after pausing to make sure she wasn’t stirring he began to rub her flank in concentric circles. He stopped and moved back to the head of Twi’s bed, cock still in hand.

Oh how far should I go? Spike pondered. He grasped the mattress and placing his foot against the bed, pulled himself up onto the bed next to Twilight with a heave. The dragon knelt beside his best friend, masturbating over her quiet, oblivious body. He didn’t need much more stimulation, the daring boy had already gone farther than he expected he would and the risk of getting caught was driving him wild with pleasure. Twilight’s head was still turned towards the moonlit window and facing away from Spike. He bent his head to hers and took a deep breath, inhaling the feminine smells of her purple mane. Spike shuddered at the sensory overload. He was so happy.

Spike hopped down off of the mattress and returned his attention to Twilight’s flank. As he rubbed her once again, the bedcovers became quite a nuisance to him. Daring to go further, Spike moved his left hand down under the covers that hung gracefully off the bed and pushed them up over Twilight’s purple flank, exposing her cutie mark. She didn’t seem to notice so Spike grabbed her butt and kneaded it gently. He hadn’t touched her here since the last winter wrap-up when he’d pushed her on ice skates. This was a far less innocent touch than that had been. Spike’s head was swimming. He inched his hand closer and closer to her pussy. The heat was getting more and more intense. It was like putting his hand into a campfire. Just before the heat got too intense for him he felt her slit, it wasn’t very wet, but the touch was just enough to send him into the throes of orgasm. Retrieving his hand, Spike snapped up his blanket from the floor and came hard into the fabric. He stoked himself through his ejaculation, making sure to get all of it out. The pleasure was the best he’d had yet. The purple dragon couldn’t stop himself from moaning out loud, but he did his best to stay quiet. After wiping his shaft clean of the sticky jizz, Spike carefully replaced the covers he’d adjusted and moseyed down the steps. He was careful to not leave a trace of evidence for Twilight to find. He returned to bed and hid the soiled blanket underneath him; he’d wash it in the morning. It was times like this that he was thankful that he did all the chores between him and Twilight. She’d never have the opportunity to get her hooves on his blanket, which he’d been washing on a fairly regular basis lately.

Spike lay awake for a good while longer that night, just thinking about things. His mind was much clearer now that he’d satisfied his primal needs. He thought about Rarity and how much he wanted her.

Who am I kidding? Rarity could never go for a guy like me. I mean she’s so beautiful... Spike thought to himself …and I’m a dragon. I’m the only dragon in Ponyville, how am I ever going to find love? Nopony would ever see me as anything more than a friend, could they? Spike let his mind wander to dark places, saddening him. I mean dragons are rare. The only dragon I’ve ever seen was 100 times bigger than me and I don’t want to wait until I get that big. I’m lonely now. Sure I’ve got great friends here in Ponyville, and they mean the world to me, but there’s nobody I can snuggle up next to at night, nobody I can kiss and love in deeper ways. Spike tossed and turned in his basket, disturbed by his darkest thoughts. The other boys in town have it lucky. Big Macintosh is a strong stallion; any mare would give her right hoof to be with him and well, Mr. Cake has his wife… there’s Pokey too, he’d be popular among the mares... Spike thought about each male pony he’d ever seen and knew that each one had a good shot of finding that special pony of his dreams. And then there’s me. Spike. The dragon. The only dragon in Ponyville. Spike buried his face in his pillow and wept discreetly. He’d wake up the next morning this way, with puffy eyes and a wet spot on his pillow. He’d bury these thoughts back inside him and go back to being a horny, young dragon.

Chapter 3: Epiphany

Hormones

Chapter 3: Epiphany

By Flutterwhy4

The next day was just like any other. Spike rode on Twilight’s back as she trotted along on her errands. Spike thought about what he’d done the night before and felt slightly ashamed. At least Twilight’ll never know, I just can’t let what I did change our friendship. Spike thought this to himself, but the fact was that their friendship had already changed. Maybe it hadn’t changed in Twilight’s mind; Spike still spoke to her the same way he ever did, but it was all a façade. Inside, Spike was having dirty thoughts about her almost nonstop. Even sitting on her back, something he’d done hundreds of times before was becoming strangely sexual in his mind. The feeling of his crotch against her bare back, the soft bouncing to the rhythm of her hoofsteps, it was almost like sex. Spike couldn’t dare let himself get aroused. If Twilight felt his hardness pressing into her coat he’d absolutely die, but it was hard to keep his mind clean.

Spike thought to himself about fucking the purple unicorn right there, in public. All he’d need to do was slide himself back to her flank, swing his foot around her backside, catching her tail between his leg and her haunch, and line his cock up with its final resting place and push. Spike thought about this over and over again, running the motion through his mind like a choreographer. One athletic maneuver and before she knew it he’d be inside her, he wouldn’t even need to let his feet touch the ground. I wonder what she’d do, would she keep trotting along? Was that even possible? To fuck a mare while she walked? Or maybe she’d collapse on the street in pleasure. The idea tantalized Spike, but he’d never follow through. Twilight’s friendship was the closest thing Spike had to real love, if he acted like a fool and somehow screwed that friendship up the heartache would be unbearable. As sad as he’d made himself last night, if he didn’t even have Twilight in his life he’d probably think of killing himself. These were just the dirty fantasies of a pubescent boy dragon, nothing more.

“Spike? SPIKE?!” Twilight’s voice snapped the dragon out of his erotic daydream. His heart stopped. Ohmygod! Did she notice something? Spike panicked, thinking his long-time friend had picked up on his shameful vibes. “Spike, I asked you whether you’d be willing to help me reorganize the library this weekend, I’ve got a plan that’ll make archiving new books a cinch.” Twilight spoke nonchalantly. Spike heaved a sigh and replied “No problem Twilight! You can count on me!” raising his thumb to his chest in a garish gesture. Twilight giggled. Spike and Twilight talked some more until they reached their destination, the Ponyville schoolhouse.

Rarity was out-of-town for the day. She’d been asked to join Sapphire Shores at the premiere of her latest concert, Zigfilly Follies, a concert for which Rarity had designed several gorgeous outfits. The premiere was in Canterlot, the hub of culture in Equestria. Due to her departure, Rarity had asked Twilight if she could watch Sweetie Belle for her while she was away and of course, like the friend Twilight was, she had said yes. Twilight Sparkle stood outside the bright-red building as the school bell rang and dozens of fillies and colts poured out excited to be done for the day.

“See yah later Sweetie Belle!!” Applebloom shouted followed by Scootaloo “Yeah, see you tomorrow!!” Sweetie Belle shouted back at her friends in her dulcet, young voice “Bye guys!!!” She ran over to Twilight and greeted her and Spike. The two ponies started off towards the library, Spike still perched atop Twilight’s back.

Not even fillies were safe from Spike's sick thoughts. It hadn’t escaped him that Sweetie Belle was Rarity’s sister and while the resemblance wasn’t perfect it was definitely there. Sweetie Belle lacked the finer details of her big sister. She had no blue eye shadow, her lashes weren’t so preened and prepared, and she did her hair up differently, like a filly who wasn’t so concerned with maintaining her appearance as she was with having fun playing with her friends. Even if she was different, Spike still managed to see her with lusty eyes. Somehow the fact that she was so young and innocent made it all the more arousing. He watched her as they walked home to the library and once there he stole glances at her whenever he could. Spike stood atop a small stepladder, shelving books as he thought twisted things to himself.

It’d be just like Rarity. I bet she’d be even tighter than Rarity, being a filly and all. She’d have to be, and she is more my size, I wouldn’t even have to stand on my tippy-toes. Could I really have sex with Sweetie Belle? NO! It’s wrong, she’s so innocent. …but I do have needs. If I WAS to, how would I do it? I’d want to get her alone, that’d be first. Spike looked over his shoulder at the white filly who was sitting with Twilight, reading a storybook. She looks pretty bored, maybe I could tell her I wanted to play a game! Spike strategized a way to get with the young filly. He imagined luring her upstairs with promises of fun. I wouldn’t be lying, it’s always fun when I do it myself, I’m sure it’d be just as good for her. But how would I take the first step once I had her alone? I could show her my cock and see how she reacted, no, that’s too risky. I’d have to peak her curiosity. It’d be ideal if SHE was the one to start things… Spike thought about this a LOT more in depth than he should have; it was becoming realistic to him. He was genuinely evaluating the feasibility of his plans and trying to come up with the scenario that had the best chance of success.

What if I told her I thought I might be able to help her get her cutie mark? That’d sure get her attention. I’ll bet she’d be willing to do whatever I said after that. Ooooooooo, I’d tell her to show me her privates and I’d talk her through her first penetration. She’d probably whine at first, but I’m sure I could convince her everything would be alright. Spike imagined himself placing his slimy cock against the underdeveloped pussy of Rarity’s sister and pressing into her soft, yielding flesh. I’d be taking her virginity and losing mine at the same time. I might have to wrap my hand around her muzzle to keep her from screaming. I’d be gentle, but there might be no way around hurting her when I take her. But what if she didn’t want to? What if I couldn’t convince her it’d be worth it? I suppose I could always force her. I may be a young dragon, but I’m still strong enough to hold down a filly. I’d be doing her a favor, wouldn’t I? I’d be giving her the pleasures of sex. It would be like I was sharing a special experience with her, something meant for adults. Kids like being treated like they’re all grown up...don’t they? It’s like when you get to stay up past your bedtime, a special treat. No. If she didn’t want to and I forced her she’d surely tell Rarity and Rarity would tell Twilight and my life w-would be over!! Unless… maybe she’d feel too embarrassed and ashamed to come forward about it. That’s always a possibility. Still, it’s too risky.

Spike’s sick, pedophile thoughts made him excited. His penis poked out of his scaly belly as Spike stood on the ladder. Spike finished shelving the books and hopped down making sure to hide his erection from Twilight and Sweetie Belle who were too engrossed in their books to notice him anyway. He needed some release. It was still early for bed, even considering Spike’s latest habit of retiring early. He’d rather not alert Twilight considering his ‘predicament’, so Spike quietly backed up the staircase and ran to his room. He threw himself into his basket and grabbed his stiffy with both hands. The pressure made him moan. Spike began to fantasize. The idea of raping Sweetie Belle seemed more appealing as long as Spike would be fantasizing and no one could get hurt. Spike thought about Sweetie Belle’s marshmallow-like ass. He bared his teeth and bent over the poor filly, pushing her to the ground with a THUMP! Spike lined himself up; there would be no kissing or foreplay. He pictured her soft petals wrapping around his shaft, enveloping it in warmth. Spike almost came instantly, but he stopped his stroking and let his near-orgasm pass, he wanted to savor this. When he was sure he wasn’t going to cum yet, Spike picked up the pace with his hands again. His eyelids fluttered uncontrollably as Spike lay in his bed, lost in a sick world where anything he desired was the norm.

In Spike’s mind he was invincible. Drooling on the filly’s back, Spike took her innocence with thrust upon thrust. He didn’t imagine how much he’d be hurting her, that wasn’t part of his fantasy. Spike’s mind was using all its synapses to imagine the stimuli that he himself would be feeling. He slumped over the filly, wrapping his arms around her belly. He breathed hot, moist air across her cheek as he hugged his victim in a sweaty embrace. Spike’s brain was really outdoing itself with the detail of this fantasy. He could almost feel every curve of Sweetie Belle’s body, inside and out. Her pink and purple hair was becoming disheveled and damp with perspiration and dragon drool, and her childlike cries and sounds of panic reverberated in Spike’s mind like perpetual church bells. The pleasure Spike imagined as he closed his eyes was so amazing, it was like one of Pinkie Pie’s famous parties condensed to a single moment. Spike was lost in imagination. The truth is Twilight or Sweetie Belle could have walked in on him at any moment, but Spike couldn’t do anything about that; he needed this and he wouldn’t spoil the moment by being paranoid.

Back in Spike’s thoughts, his fantasy was growing out of control. The dragon wrapped his hands around Sweetie Belle's smooth neck and choked her as he sped up his thrusts. She gagged and struggled for air, her hooves scrabbled on the hard floor. Spike choked her ever harder as he neared his climax. The thought of cumming on her flank and telling her it was her cutie mark put a wicked smile on his face while he masturbated, but that wouldn’t be his plan, no, no, no. She was a filly; she wasn’t sexually mature and hadn’t started her estrus cycle. Spike would take advantage of this. The boy wasn’t sure if dragons and ponies were biologically compatible, he wasn’t sure of much of anything when it came to these matters, but he did know that fillies couldn’t get pregnant. Still choking the unicorn who was turning blue in his fantasy, Spike slammed his cock into her to the hilt for three final slapping thrusts as he filled her full of his seed.

Spike opened his eyes as the final tides of pleasure receded from him; he was lying in his basket in his dark room, covered from head to toe in semen. It was concentrated around his wilting cock where thick puddles of the substance collected, but strands of his seed had leapt from the boy and fixed themselves to his body in sultry splashes. Blood still pumping, Spike closed his eyes again and tried his best to imagine the aftermath of his perverse mental act… first he imagined a sobbing Sweetie Belle, grasping at her bruised neck. This was the first time he’d tried to put himself in his victim’s shoes and take a guess at the emotions she’d be feeling. He imagined she’d feel used, sore physically and mentally, but content that it was finally over. He didn’t linger on trying to decipher her emotional state before a sicker thought crossed his mind. He pictured her slumped posture, his warm cum, draining out of Sweetie Belle’s distended vagina. It dripped from her inner thigh like a leaky faucet and pooled underneath her lifeless body. Spike had choked her too long. The brightness left the child’s skin, replaced by a dull, grayish white indicative of a corpse. She stayed motionless… dripping with sexual fluids, completely used up and frozen in a disgraceful position, her ass pointed to the heavens, haunches splayed open, head pressed tilted against the floor, her eyes cold and glassy. The thought gave Spike a painful, stinging erection. Spike let the image loiter in his mind, he held it there, keeping all other thoughts out as if by sheer willpower he could extend his pleasure and never let it end.

Spike snapped to his senses at the sound of hoofsteps coming from the library downstairs. Two sets of hoofsteps. “Twilight and Sweetie Belle!!!” Spike said panicked in a breathy voice. “I can’t let them see me like this!!!” He bolted from his bed and sprang into the hallway, still covered in crusty jizz. Spike sprinted to the bathroom so fast he thought he almost could’ve caused a Sonic Rainboom. Slamming the door shut, Spike turned the faucet to draw himself a bath and walked to the vanity. He pondered how he’d explain such a late night bath to Twilight. Maybe, she won’t ask? …and if she does I can just say I felt like a bath! After all, it’s my home too! Since when do I need an excuse to take a bath in my own home?! Spike grew indignant at Twilight, before she’d even had a chance to say a word to him. The purple dragon looked himself over in the mirror while the sounds of rushing water drown out everything else. Spike stared into his eyes then examined his body, then looked back into his eyes. He felt ashamed, deeply ashamed. He was splattered with cum like some cheap whore, and he’d just pleasured himself to horrible, immoral thoughts. He knew they were immoral thoughts. Spike watched as his likeness grew blurry; tears were welling up in his eyes.

No.. don’t cry Spike. The boy tried to comfort himself, shaking his head and closing his eyes tight, squeezing the tears into twin streams that rolled purposefully down his cheeks. It’s just a fantasy, nobody’s hurt, there’s nothing wrong with fantasy, it’s what you actually DO that makes you a good or bad person. Spike tried to find solace in his inner-voice, but he wasn’t sure anymore. The image of the dead, pasty unicorn filly snapped back into his thoughts, a grim reminder of the twisted sickness Spike had just immersed himself in. It instantly caused his eyes to fill with tears again. Spike turned away from the mirror with his head held low, weeping, sniffling. He sauntered over to the tub and, closing the faucet, plopped himself into the warm water and began cleaning his shame. His hormones were killing him. His horniness had taken over his mind, jeopardized his friendships and his sanity. He wanted to stop these thoughts, end the fantasies, but he couldn’t just quit. His young body outright demanded the pleasure and it was taking more and more depravity to satisfy him. Spike scrubbed his scaly body with a sponge, making sure to wash the cum-trails off his face and shoulder. As he cleaned his body Spike had an epiphany. If only I could have sex with someone, it might lose its mystery and I’d be myself again…

Chapter 4: Last Resort

Hormones

Chapter 4: Last Resort

By Flutterwhy4

Spike awoke in his bed like any other morning. He’d dried himself off after his impromptu bath and headed straight to bed the night before. Twilight had taken Sweetie Belle to bed early and hadn’t grilled Spike about his bathing habits. As Spike opened his eyes he surveyed the room. Twilight was still in her bed; Sweetie Belle was sleeping across from Spike in a makeshift bed of blankets and pillows arranged on the floor. Spike rubbed his gunky morning eyes and looked at the filly. She was peaceful, safe… safe from Spike. The dragon continued to stare at her as the sun peeked in through the window. He felt in his heart that he’d never, ever hurt Rarity’s sister and that brought a smile to his face. Sweetie Belle opened her eyes with a yawn as she stirred from her slumber. Her eyes met Spike’s and she gazed back at him with a trusting smile. Spike’s heart sank and he crumbled as he peered into her big, green eyes. They were like enchanted emeralds that sucked the soul right out of his body. Spike smiled back at her for as long as he could before tossing in his basket, turning his back to the filly. It was a sight Spike couldn’t handle, not so soon after last night at least.

Twilight groaned in her bed as the sun poured over her face through the picture window. Minutes later she was up and moving, ready to start the day. Spike rolled over once more and looked at the purple mare as she trotted down the steps from her bed. “Good Morning Spike!" she said with a cheerful, but tired tone. Bounding from her covers, Sweetie Belle responded for the dragon “Morning Twilight!!” “And good morning to you too!” Twilight said with a giggle. “Spike? Would you mind making us some breakfast?” “No problem Twi.” Spike said drawing a “Thanks!” from the purple pony.

Spike went to the kitchen while Twilight and Sweetie Belle headed out the front door for a quick morning walk. He fetched some oats and a pan and began preparing a meal for three while he thought about his epiphany from the previous night. I HAVE to satisfy these urges once and for all, but who could I have sex with? It’d have to be someone I could trust to keep it a secret, someone who’d never tell. Preferably someone attractive, but I suppose that doesn’t matter. Spike brainstormed the names of several possible mares. …Roseluck? Nah, she’d never say yes. Trixie? I don’t even know where she is… He dismissed each pony in a similar fashion as her name came up. There was simply nopony. Spike grew more miserable with each passing name. If only there were more dragons around. A dragon girl about my size would be perfect, a sibling even, I wouldn’t mind if she didn’t. But I’m the only one. The dragon sighed and went back to his cooking. At least making breakfast would help him take his mind off of how lonely he felt.

After breakfast Spike elected to go for a walk around Ponyville. Perhaps some fresh air will help me clear my mind. “Hey Twilight. I’m going for a walk, I hope you don’t mind.” “Oh? Not at all Spike, in fact, I’ll be taking Sweetie Belle to school soon and then I have some errands to run so don’t be surprised if I’m not home when you get back.” Spike unlatched the front door, swung it open and stepped outside closing it behind him. Spike soaked in the warmth of the sunny weather as he walked around town. It was a beautiful day for a stroll. All the shops were open, the café was busy, cheerful ponies ambled from street to street, some for business, some for fun. He recognized some of the ponies as his friends. Pinkie Pie hopped jubilantly up the street with a basket of ribbons and flowers in her mouth. Applejack stood in the town center with her applecart, serving the hungry ponies that lined up for some of her juicy fruit. Spike was particularly interested by Applejack’s location. He mused to himself. Hmmmm… Applejack is selling apples in town, Apple Bloom would be at school, Big Macintosh was probably out bucking apples… I know who I can have sex with.

Spike ran down the dirt road to Sweet Apple Acres. There was no time to slow down, he’d finally realized how he could end this nightmare and satisfy his hormonal urges before he ended up hurting someone he cared about. As Spike neared his destination, he stopped for a minute to take note of the apple orchard. He listened carefully. It was quiet, but then the silence was momentarily broken by a distant THUD! The sound confirmed for Spike that Big Macintosh was indeed out apple-bucking. Perfect. Confidant, Spike hopped the fence to the property and jogged up to the barn. He nudged the heavy, red barn door open with a creak and stepped inside.

“Win-oooo-naaa! Winona! Here girl!” The dragon called out, echoing in the hay strewn barn. Sure enough, the brown and white Border collie stirred behind a bale of hay. With a quick stretch of her sleepy legs she was up on all-fours and walking towards Spike. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth as she investigated him. Spike knew this was wrong, but it was either this or carry on as he’d been doing, groping his unconscious friends, dreaming of raping fillies. No. It had to stop. Spike would lose his virginity to this animal, right now.

Spike bent down to pet the furry creature, but Winona recoiled. “It’s okay. I’m Spike! Remember me?” He let the confused dog sniff his hand. She became more receptive and allowed the purple dragon to pet her head. Spike’s other hand was busily working between his legs, getting himself hard for the activities to come. This was it; he’d finally get the satisfaction he needed so desperately. Spike sat on his tail and invited Winona closer to him. His red, warm erection stared the bitch in the face. Winona moved over and sniffed the boys cock, investigating it.

A g-girl is inches away from my cock. Spike thought to himself, using the term ‘girl’ loosely. The Border collie gave him a lick. Spike moaned and his cock twitched at the moist sensation. She licked his cock again. Spike was in heaven. Of course, there was no sexuality behind Winona’s licks, she was merely tasting an object she’d never seen before, trying to understand it. After one more taste, Winona sat back and scratched her ear with her back leg. Spike took notice that the licking had stopped, it was just as well; he wanted to move forward anyway. Spike got to his feet and went to grab the puppy, but she was too fast for him and she bolted the other direction. Spike tried to give chase, but she was too energetic and agile. The Border collie’s herding instincts kicked in and she began to run circles around the dragon. Spike watched, dizzily. Around and around she went. She was playing with him now. Spike tried to anticipate her movements, but it was making him queasy.

“Winona! Stop! Stay! Heel! Sit!” He tried every command he could think of but she didn’t respond, she’d only respond to a familiar voice; Applejack had trained her well. Aggravated, Spike pounced on the dog, leading her a bit so she’d be under him when he landed. He tumbled upon the dog with a thump and she yelped in pain. “BARK! BARK!” “Shhhh, Winona you have to be quiet!” “BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!” It was no use. Spike reached up and wrapped his hand around her muzzle, silencing her. She was on her back struggling as Spike and his wet erection pressed into her white belly fur. Spike was almost ready to get the deed done, but first he had to know what she tasted like, what girls tasted like. After a few long minutes, when he was sure she wouldn’t start barking again, Spike climbed down the puppy’s belly. He stopped to give each of her nipples a lusty suckle. First one, then two, then three, then four… He worked his way down and found her furry snatch. It wasn’t exactly a pretty sight. Unlike Rarity, who groomed her pet regularly, Applejack thought of Winona as a work dog who didn’t need more than a trim every few months and maybe a bath once or twice a week or whenever she got noticeably dirty.

The scent of the canine pussy was overwhelming. It smelled like wet dog. Her lips were coated in a patch of wispy soiled fur, but they were still puffy and feminine. Winona’s tail wagged back and forth under Spike, fanning the scent into his nostrils. Having second-thoughts, Spike said to himself “well, here goes nothing.” With that he bent his mouth down to her snatch and parted her lips with his tongue. He licked her reluctantly at first, but beneath the acrid taste of stale urine and dog slobber there was a sweetness the made Spike tongue her more enthusiastically. Her hindlegs bucked softly and she panted. Spike had his nose buried in her clit and his dragon tongue was deep inside the dog, lapping at the nectar that was flowing from her tiny pussy. She was warmer than Spike had expected, like hot apple pie. He pulled his tongue out and nipped at her clit with his lips before sucking the whole nub into his mouth. Winona whined, her tail moving a mile a minute. This was practice to Spike; practice for what he’d do to Rarity if he ever got the chance with her. Spike penetrated Winona with his tongue once again. She was getting wetter and wetter with each of Spike’s advances. He pushed against her inner-flesh with his tongue taking notes of the spots that made her whine the most. Spike moaned into her pussy, the vibration making her yelp breathlessly. Spike had had just about had enough; he longed to replace his tongue with his cock and in a moment he would get his wish.

Spike got off the contented Winona and clapped his hands together making her instantly spring to her feet. He held her furry back as he positioned himself behind her. Spike had one last chance to stop this perversion, but that thought didn’t even cross his mind. He had completely justified his actions to himself. Sure, Winona was a dog, but he was already attracted to ponies and they were a different species too, was it really that different? Of course it was, he was about to rape Applejack’s pet, a critter that didn’t have the brains to know what he was doing and couldn’t tell him to stop, but to Spike that didn’t register. He needed this, he needed to do it for himself and for the ponies he loved. He couldn’t be the friend they wanted him to be when his mind was clouded with perverted thoughts.

Spike had done a good job getting Winona ready for him. All he had to do was lift her wagging tail out of the way. He pressed his throbbing, veiny erection into her pussy and it popped inside. This was it. This was the moment he’d been longing for. He rocked his hips forward and he slid in, inch by inch. Winona tried to move away from him, but Spike kept her pinned. She tried to bark, but Spike once again snapped her muzzle shut with his hand. Spike looked between his arms and gasped at the sight of his manhood disappearing into Winona’s furry bottom. Her pussyhole was everything he wanted, she was tight and soft and wet and warm, and it was divine. Her flesh fit his cock like a pink glove. Spike didn’t thrust; he stayed there, his cock buried in Applejack’s pet to the hilt. He wanted to feel her on him. He felt her heartbeat through the walls of her pussy. He felt her muscles contract around him, trying to expel the invader that was penetrating her. The sensation was as if she was milking his cock like a cow’s utter. Spike savored every detail. He felt the wispy hairs on her unkempt backside brush against his scaly belly and her frantic tail slapping against his chest. He gave her oily coat a pet and started fucking the creature. He withdrew his cock so far he almost had a hard time getting it in again, but he pushed forward and was in her once more. Only now did the idea of fucking Winona seem perverse, but it wasn’t giving him second thoughts, it was arousing him. Winona kept fidgeting and fighting the dragon, but she gained nothing from it. Spike had her completely restrained. All she could do was wait for him to finish. Lucky for Winona that moment was fast approaching. Even after Spike’s countless masturbatory sessions, the feel of real pussy on his dragon cock was an overload to his senses. His hair-trigger fired and the horny boy thrust harder and faster through his ejaculation. He was cumming in Winona! It was an incredible sensation! Leaving his biological material inside another living thing, it was such a rush!!

“SPIKE!! WHAT IN TARNATION ARE Y’ALL DOIN’ TUH MY DOG?!?!?!” A loud familiar voice rang out.

Spike slipped on the hay-strewn floor as he scrambled to both get off Winona and turn around to face his observer. His hip hit the ground and his last ejaculatory spurt landed across some nearby hay. Applejack towered over him. She was hard to see silhouetted against the bright outdoors, but Spike could make out a furious expression on her face.

“YOU SICK BASTARD! I OUGHTA RING Y’UR NECK FOR DOIN’ THAT TUH WINONA!!” she shrieked. Spike’s saucer-like eyes darted scared around the room as he lay on his back, his disgusting cock sliding back inside him. “I’M SORRY!! I’M SORRY!!” was all the dragon could think to say; this wasn’t how things were supposed to happen. Applejack had been at the market, why was she back here now? The question didn’t matter, all that mattered was that Spike had been caught red-handed. This is bad! NO NO NO NO NO! This is REEEEEAAL BAD!!! Spike was hyper-ventilating. Everything was happening too fast.

“OH, Y’ALL WILL BE SORRY YUH LITTLE PERVERT!!” Applejack moved to grab Spike, but he scrambled to his feet and darted out of the barn. “COME BACK ‘ERE!!” she shouted before turning to check if her precious dog was okay.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid Spike! STUPID! This is it! Applejack will come looking for me, or tell Twilight and then my whole life will be ruined!! Spike cried hot tears as he ran down the road to his home in Ponyville. Why did it have to happen like this?! Why?! Oh why?! I can’t face anypony after this! I’ll never be Twilight’s number one assistant again; I’ll always be Spike, the Dog Rapist. All my friendships, destroyed. STUPID!! If only I could’ve had a few more minutes, none of this would be happening!!

Spike ran home, tormented by his emotions the whole way. He was angry at himself, angry at his body, angry at Applejack, disgusted with what he’d just done, concerned for what Twilight would think, and sad that he’d ruined his friendships with one lewd act of hormone-driven passion.

Nearly an hour later…

The door to the library swung open and hit the wall with a BANG!

“SPIKE!!!” It was Twilight, she’d just gotten the news of Spike’s actions from Applejack who was running all around Ponyville looking for the scoundrel. “SPIKE GET OUT HERE!!! NOW!!!” Nothing like this had ever happened in Ponyville, and she couldn’t believe that her best friend could do something so monstrous. She shouted for him again in her anger and embarrassment.

“SPIIIIIIIIKE!!!! I KNOW YOU’RE HERE!!!” The purple unicorn started hunting for her assistant. She checked the kitchen, it was empty. She galloped up the stairs, figuring he’d be hiding in his bed. When she got there, Spike was nowhere to be found. She would have asked Owlowiscious where Spike was, but it was far too early for him to be awake. She checked the bathroom. Twilight flung the curtain around the tub expecting to find Spike cowering behind it, but when nothing was there she started to worry. Was he really not here? She surely wouldn’t want Applejack to find him first; there was no telling what she’d do to him.

Twilight checked the library over again; there was no sign of Spike anywhere she would’ve expected to find him. She noticed the stepladder was missing from the library. Twilight thought it odd that Spike would come home, grab a stepladder and leave. She called out for him again, this time in a less judgmental voice “Spike? Spike, please if you’re here come out. I just want to talk to you. Whatever you’re going through, we’ll work it out, together.” There was no response, only silence. Twilight walked over to the basement door. The basement was seldom used, not since Twilight had needed a place to test Pinkie Pie’s Pinkie sense. Maybe Spike would’ve hidden in the basement. It was certainly the last place Twilight could think to look. She pushed the door open with her hoof and walked in. What she saw horrified her. There was Spike, hanging lifelessly from a length of thick rope attached to a hook in the ceiling, his stepladder knocked over underneath him. The rope, tied in a noose, was the kind of thick-gauge rope one would expect to find on Applejack’s farm. Spike had grabbed it when he had fled the barn just over an hour ago. It clung tautly to his neck, deforming him and framing his limp face which had no expression.

“SPIIIIKE!!!!! NOOOO!!!” Twilight screamed. Tears erupted from her purple eyes. Without thinking, her horn began to glow, lifting the boy and his noose and placing them on the floor. She cut the rope from his neck with her magic and tossed it angrily across the room like a serpent. She tried a spell on her motionless friend but it didn’t have any effect. She was bawling. Twilight put her lips to Spike’s mouth and breathed into him. Her breath was weak from her uncontrollable crying, but she tried harder, she HAD to save him. Placing her hooves on Spike’s chest she pushed hard. She couldn’t bare to look at him. She compressed his chest again.

“SPIKE!!! BREATHE!!! PLEEASE!!!” SPI-“ her voice cracked as she choked on her sadness. Tears hit the dragon’s cold face as Twilight looked down at him in shock and horror. “OH MY GOD!! SPIKE YOU STUPID BASTARD HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????” It was a question she’d never have answered. Twilight kept performing CPR for a good ten minutes with no response from Spike. He was long dead. Twilight, still crying harder than she’d ever cried before, wrapped her hoof under her friend and cradled him in her arms. “No! Spike, it didn’t have to be this way!!” Twilight was devastated, absolutely devastated at the horrific events unfolding before her. Nobody could ever replace Spike, not as an assistant or a friend. She’d been a part of his life ever since he was a tiny baby. They’d grown up together, and their relationship, which she’d cherished the most of any of her friendships was gone, forever. Twilight wheezed and sniffled as she pressed Spike’s heavy, limp head against her face. So many thoughts consumed her. No matter how much pain Spike had felt in his heart, it couldn’t compare to what Twilight was dealing with, not even close. Twilight embraced Spike for a very long time until she heard a knock on the front door. “Who in Equestria could that be?” She didn’t want to see anyone right now, certainly not Applejack. Twilight sat in the basement and kept weeping over her departed friend, not wanting to answer the door. The knock came again. Twilight didn’t budge. She heard the door open without her presence. Who would dare enter her home??

“Spike??” There came a recognizable voice. It was Princess Celestia!! Twilight set Spike down and trotted up to the library.

“P-Princess Celestia, w-w-what are you d-doing here?” Twilight forced the words past the lump in her throat.

“Twilight, dear, are you okay? What’s wrong? I came because I received a rather odd letter from Spike.” Princess Celestia answered her pupil, levitating a scroll in front of herself. She figured something was wrong from Spike’s letter and Twilight’s drenched face confirmed it.

Twilight rudely snapped the scroll away from the Princess and opened it:

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that part of being a true friend is protecting the people you care about, even if it means protecting them from yourself.

I also learned that while friendships are incredible things that can weather almost any struggle, there are certain things that a friend simply can’t undo no matter how much they want to.

Tell Twilight I love her, and I’m sorry.

Your faithful servant, Spike.

Twilight turned away from the parchment and trotted silently back to the basement door with her head slumped. The Princess followed her in and pieced together what had happened as soon as she saw Spike, the ladder, and the rope. Celestia said nothing, she was too shocked to. She wasn’t sure what had caused this, but she was sure of one thing. Twilight needed her mentor right now more than ever. Celestia had other engagements in Canterlot, but for once, Twilight was more important. The two sat together, hugging, comforting each other and mourning over the loss of a dear sweet dragon.

Epilogue

Hormones

Epilogue

By Flutterwhy4

The author would like to stress that the true ending to this story is the end of Chapter 4. This is an epilogue, written weeks after the completion of the story. For those who have enjoyed the story and are interested to know what happens following the events of Ch. 4, this is for you. I appreciate everypony’s patience! Thank you for reading and thank you for your encouragement!

A dark cloud hangs over the home of Twilight Sparkle. Outside, the town of Ponyville goes about its usual business, ignorant that its population has decreased by one. Inside, mentor and pupil embrace each other amidst a ghastly scene. The basement echoes with the sounds of sadness. Princess Celestia sits facing her former servant and tie to Ponyville, now stiff and cold on the basement floor. Tears trickle gently down her cheeks yet she maintains her stately, reserved composure. Beneath her and wrapped in her ethereal mane, Twilight Sparkle clutches at the princess and presses her sobbing face against her, soiling her royal fur. Twilight lacks the discipline of her mentor and her eyes are broken dams unable to hold back a deluge of pain.

~~~~~

The next hour passed somberly. Nary a word was spoken outside of a few whispered condolences. Twilights wailing ebbed and flowed like the tides as she cried heavily, then sobbed trying to regain her composure only to be brought back to bawling. Princess Celestia, while deeply saddened herself, was more concerned for Twilight. The princess harbored a maternal anger at Spike for having put her dear Twilight through such an unspeakable ordeal. She ran her hoof lovingly across her pupil’s back as she wept. Twilight’s pain was absolute. The pony ached inside. She felt like her guts had been tenderized with a hammer. Her mind struggled to keep up with the salvo of thoughts and questions that torn though her. Was there anything she could’ve done to prevent this? Should she have noticed something? What did this have to do with what Spike had been doing in Applejack’s barn? That last question was strong in her mind. Twilight wanted to know everything; each detail was another piece in a puzzle that Twilight yearned to finish. While the logical half of her mind was hard at work, the emotional side was spinning like a tornado as well. Memories of her beloved friend lashed her like a whip, each painful blow reminding her of just how much Spike meant to her and how nothing would ever be the same. She could hear his charming, childlike voice in her head, clear as it ever was.

“Hey Twilight. I’m going for a walk, I hope you don’t mind” Twilight repeated Spike’s final words to her in her head. She recalled her response “…don’t be surprised if I’m not home when you get back.” It didn’t seem fitting that their life-long friendship would part on such a casual exchange. Instead Twilight thought ahead to the letter Spike had written the Princess.

“Tell Twilight I love her…” Twilight read the words in Spike’s voice, stopping before reading the rest. Those five words repeated endlessly in Twilight’s mind. She wished she had just one more minute with Spike so she could tell him how much she loved him too, but such was not the case. All the purple pony could do was mutter “I love you too Spike” and hope that somehow, somewhere Spike was listening in some incorporeal form.

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this, my sweet Twilight.” The princess’s voice brought Twilight back to reality. “This isn’t an experience a young pony should ever have.” Twilight stowed her tears and strained to control her quivering body. The room quieted as Twilight tried to find the strength to speak. When she finally spoke, her words came out like a whine.

“Spike was always s-so care-free and full of life… h-how could he do this???” her question was punctuated by another brief fit of blubbering. Celestia took pause at Twilight’s words and she massaged her back even firmer than before.

Finally the princess’s gentle voice replied back “You have no idea what would cause Spike to take his own life?” Twilight forcefully shook her head from side-to-side against the white alicorn’s coat. “Why don’t you tell me everything you know then?” A grief-stricken Twilight complied and brought her mentor up to speed. She told her about Spike’s morning walk, she reluctantly told her the things Applejack had said happened, and she vaguely described finding Spike’s body, not wanting to relive the experience through her words. “Oh my. It’s clear that something was troubling Spike… and unfortunate that he worked so hard to conceal it from us.” The princess bent her head down and nuzzled Twilight affectionately. “I’m so sorry for this Twilight.”

Twilight shied away from the princess’s touch and mumbled “He was like a brother to me-e-ee…” stumbling on her last words as she sobbed.

“I know dear, it’s going to be difficult. You’ll need to rely on the strength of your friends to help you through this, as will they be relying on you.” Celestia continued, her voice hushed to almost a whisper. “Do you remember what you told me at the Grand Galloping Gala?” she didn’t pause to allow Twilight to answer “You said you’d learned that friends have a way of making even the worst of times into something… well, a lot better” Celestia stammered, rewording Twilight’s friendship lesson into something more appropriate given the somberness of the occasion.

“Yeah… Spike knew that all along…” Twilight sniffled as the memory came flooding back to her. Her memory of that day was so vivid it was as if it had happened yesterday. She remembered the big wooden table in Pony Joe’s donut shop; there she stood with her friends in their disheveled dresses. Spike stood beside her with a big smile on his face. He couldn’t really be gone could he?? Twilight’s head hurt from the thought of it. This was like a nightmare she couldn’t wake up from. She turned away from the princess and looked across the room to where Spike lay. He was frozen, unmoved from the position she had left him in.

“I’ll have Spike taken care of. I don’t want you to stress over this. I’ll take care of planning a service and…”

“NO!” Twilight snapped, backing away from the princess and towards Spike’s body. “HE’S NOT GONE HE CAN’T BE! THERE HAS TO BE A SPELL I CAN LEARN IN ONE OF MY BOOKS…”

“Twilight.”

“…I’LL FIND IT, I’LL FIND IT AND WE CAN BRING HIM BACK, I MEAN EVEN IF I CAN’T YOU CAN RIGHT? YOU CAN…”

“Twilight.”

“…MOVE THE SUN WITH YOUR MAGIC SO SURELY YOU CAN BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE CAN’T YOU? YOU MUST KNOW A WAY! YOU MUST!!”

“Twilight.” The princess looked down at the wide-eyed purple pony and felt a searing pain in her heart. Twilight stared into her mentor’s eyes and collapsed onto her rump as she saw in their empathetic gaze that there was nothing Celestia could do.

“Twilight, unicorn magic doesn’t work that way. It can’t be used to kill, it can’t be used to make somepony fall in love against their will, and it can’t restore life to the dead. What kind of a world would we live in if such things were possible?”

Twilight grumbled then spoke again, less enthusiastically this time “Th-then what about the Elements of Harmony???”

The princess reprimanded her “The Elements bring harmony to disharmony. Spike chose this path of his own free will; not even the most powerful magic in all of Equestria can undo that.” Twilight wept as her flash of denial was squashed by the princess’s wisdom. “I’m sorry Twilight there’s nothing I can do except be here for you.”

Time passed and Twilight calmed down. Princess Celestia stood and led Twilight out of the basement and into the brighter main room of the library. The princess repeated her promise to take care of Spike and his funeral. Twilight simply nodded and sat down near the bookcase. Celestia remained standing and with a sigh she spoke softly “…Your friends deserve to know…” Twilight didn’t react. “I think you should be the one to tell them.” This time Twilight looked up.

“Me?? But I…”

The princess cut her off “They’re all going to be hurt. It is better they hear it from a friend.” Twilight couldn’t bare the idea, but she knew it to be true that she was the best choice to deliver the terrible news. The purple pony nodded affirmatively and got to her hooves. The two parted ways and Twilight left on her heartbreaking errand, leaving the Princess and her guards to take care of things in the tree.

Twilight took deep breaths as she strode through Ponyville, trying her best to hide her sorrow. She cleaned and dried her face with a quick purple flash of her horn. She knew what she had to do, but she feared when the time came that she wouldn’t be able to find words. Twilight thought heavily about how to tell her friends. Was it best to just say it? Would it be better to use a more gentle approach? Or maybe it depended on who she was telling? She practiced the words in her head, determined to tell her friends no matter how hard it was. Just then she tripped over her own hooves and landed clumsily on the Ponyville street. Several ponies stared at her as she got to her feet and brushed the whole incident off as if it hadn’t happened. She was so consumed by her thoughts that she had forgotten to watch where she was going.

The fall had made Twilight more aware of her surroundings and she continued on for another block or so before she saw something she didn’t want to see. It was Applejack. She was still looking for Spike with a determined and heated expression, and she was coming closer. Twilight panicked. She was in no mood to speak to AJ, not after everything that had happened. She’d have plenty to discuss with her orange, freckled friend and there were many questions on her mind, but it was a conversation the unicorn would need time to prepare for. Thinking quickly, Twilight lit her horn and in a matter of seconds she was gone in a flash of white light. She reappeared in front of Rarity’s boutique. This would be her first stop. She pressed a hoof against the purple door and felt butterflies in her stomach as she stepped inside. There was Rarity, wearing her red-framed glasses and slaving away over a sewing machine.

“Come In!! OH! Twilight! What a pleasant surprise! What brings you here?” Rarity said, going back to her sewing.

“Umm, Rarity?” Twilight muttered, inaudibly under the noise of the machine. She stepped closer and tried again to get her friends attention.

“What’s that?? Can’t hear you dear, please speak up!” Rarity chimed, all the while concentrating on the garment she was busily manufacturing. Twilight stepped even closer, she was literally inches away from Rarity now. Twilight wanted Rarity’s full attention for what she had to say, but the painful message was burning a hole in her throat and she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Spike’s dead!” She launched the news at her fellow unicorn. Rarity’s hoof slipped, plunging her garment into the sewing machine. Rarity looked at Twilight with shock in her eyes as the sewing machine seized up and stopped on the bunched up fabric, her dress was ruined, but there were far more pressing matters that concerned her at the moment.

“Dead????” Rarity removed the gaudy glasses from her concerned face with her magic. Twilight tried not to cry, but it was to no avail. Rarity led Twilight into her parlor where the two ponies sat down and Twilight brushed the fresh tears from her cheek and continued.

“He… he…” The words were trapped in her stomach, so she did the only thing she could and told her story “…I came h-home and he… …he was in the basement… hanging…” Her voice squeaked the last word as more tears came to her eyes. Rarity stared at the purple pony who didn’t return her gaze. Rarity understood and tears began to appear around her eyes as well.

“I… ah… wha… b… but why????” asked Rarity, who was baffled that someone like Spike could commit suicide.

“…I don’t know either…” Twilight paused “…but I’m going to find out.” She said, thinking of Applejack. Rarity was speechless so Twilight continued. She told Rarity everything that had happened that morning; she even mentioned Applejack and the whole Winona fiasco. Once Rarity was up to speed she began to speak again.

“Who knows?” Rarity asked.

“Just you, Princess Celestia and myself at the moment.” Twilight said somberly. The room was quiet, Twilight spoke again. “I came here first. I know you probably spent more time with Spike than anypony other than me.” It was true. Rarity had a much closer friendship with Spike than the others. They hunted for jewels together; they worked on garments together sometimes. Spike was always eager to lend Rarity a hand and she enjoyed his company. “Spike… …you meant a lot to him Rarity.” Twilight added.

“Yes, that little dragon was quite infatuated with me.” Rarity quipped.

“He loved you.” Twilight responded. The room went silent. Rarity looked at Twilight and saw the sincerity in her eyes. She looked down to the floor and pondered Twilight’s statement. She thought back on all the times she’d been around Spike, and all the sacrifices Spike had made for her and suddenly she felt clueless, and selfish.

“I see…” she whispered. Twilight watched her friend react to the statement. Rarity clenched her eyes tight, taking in a deep breath. The room became silent enough to hear the plip-plop of a few tears that rolled off Rarity’s muzzle and hit the floor of the boutique. Rarity tried to speak, but it was clear that the emotional weight of what had happened was getting the best of her. “I… wish he… would’ve told me..”

There was a pause before Twilight asked “would you...”

“I-I-I-I don’t know, but at least, I could have thought about it!” Rarity snapped, anticipating Twilight’s question. “He was quite the charmer!” Rarity added, trying to brighten the mood. Twilight started to giggle, but found herself unable to complete the simple vocalization.

The rest of Twilight’s visit was more of the same. The girls shared stories about Spike, trading tears and stifled laughter as they reminisced over what a wonderful friend and charming dragon Spike had been and how much they’d both miss him in their lives. They hugged and cried into each other’s withers at times. Rarity’s blue eye shadow ran down her muzzle. All the while, unbeknownst to either of the unicorns, a pair of concerned green eyes watched them from the banister to the far side of the room. On the top row of stairs coming down from her room, Sweetie Belle watched her big sister and Twilight as they mourned. She didn’t understand what was so upsetting, but she knew that something important had happened and wanted to know more. From what she could hear it had something to do with Spike and him being “gone”. I wonder where Spike went that has everybody so sad? wondered Sweetie Belle. She’d soon get the chance to talk to her sister in private and have all her questions answered as Twilight stood up to leave.

“Rarity, I’m sorry to be the bringer of bad news, and I’m sorry about your dress.”

“Oh it’s quite alright dear, and thank you, for telling me first, it means a lot.” Rarity retorted.

“Well, I better go tell the others.” Twilight returned.

“Yes, I would imagine you have a long day ahead of you. Please keep me in the loop. Oh, and Twilight, if you need somepony to talk to you know you can always count on me.” Rarity said with a weak smile which was returned by Twilight as she strode out the door and back into the streets of Ponyville.

“Hey sis? What’s going on? Where’s Spike?” an innocent voice floated down the steps to where Rarity was standing.

~~~~~

Twilight set off to her next destination. Her thoughts were slightly more optimistic, it had helped to talk with Rarity. I suppose, if this brings me and Rarity or any of my other friends closer together, then at least SOMETHING good can come from… this. Twilight thought to herself. As Twilight walked, however, the gains she’d made at Rarity’s slowly evaporated and by the time she stood in front of Sugarcube corner she was once again the gloomy, achy, maudlin unicorn she had been as she stepped into Carousel Boutique. It was a painful task telling her best friends the horrifying news. Each stop on her journey brought both the comfort of understanding eyes and friendly hooves on her back as well as the pain of reliving her horror through her friends as they reacted to what was the worst thing to have ever happened to them.

Each of her friends responded in similar fashion, each of their individual quirks and personalities affecting their reaction. The pink party pony’s hair deflated to the grim news, the fragile Fluttershy fainted, and Rainbow Dash seemed slightly more angry than sad, but Twilight became more and more curt with each visit, eventually telling Rainbow Dash to see Rarity for the full story. Twilight’s own emotions were reaching a boiling point and it was now or never, there was only one more pony she needed to talk to.

Twi had been working up the courage for this confrontation in the back of her head all day. If there was any missing piece to this puzzle, only Applejack would have it. Twilight contemplated where she might find the orange workpony, somewhere in town no doubt. Then a thought occurred to her, a negative consequence of her waiting so long to talk to AJ. Word of Spike’s untimely death would be spreading across Ponyville like a virus, Twilight wouldn’t want AJ to hear about it second-hand. Her concern was less for her friend and how she might feel if she was told by somepony not as close as Twilight was, but more for the edge she would lose in interrogation if Applejack was allowed to learn of this before Twilight reached her.

Now more focused than ever, Twilight selfishly lit up her horn. The world went darker and gained a bluish hue and the sounds around her distorted as she retreated into her mind, the purple unicorn sending invisible tendrils of her magic stretching down the streets around her, searching, probing the town for her friend’s whereabouts. A few seconds of concentration, or perhaps it was a few minutes, it was hard for her to tell, and she had Applejack's location. Mentally exhausted from her spell, the magical aura around Twilight’s horn dissipated and she began a gallop down Mane street.

It was a short trip and Twilight was upon her friend in no time. Applejack was searching the area around Quills and Sofas, no doubt still looking for the dragon she’d never find. Oh good, then she hasn’t found out yet Twilight thought. She crept into Applejack’s view and immediately AJ began making a scene.

“Twa’light Sparkle, well if’n you haven’t been avoiding me ALL DAY! I reckon your hidin’ that dragon from me! I swung by your house earlier an’ there were royal guards there, now what in tarnation is goin’ on!!”

“AJ we need to talk.” Twilight said firmly.

“I agree! Now where’re y’all hidin’ Spike?! I promise I won’t muss him up too bad, but nobody hurts a member of the Apple family an’ gets away with it!” The pain in Twilight’s heart was an ember that flared with each mention of Spike’s name.

“Spike’s dead Applejack and you’re the last pony who saw him alive NOW I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!” Twilight’s calmness faded away as she screamed at her friend.

“H-wha did you jus’ say?”

“Dead! HE’S DEAD! He H-“ Twilight choked on her words, she couldn’t keep up her intensity while talking about this. Twilight swallowed and started again in a calmer, sadder tone. “He hung himself after he came home from Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Mah stars, I-I don’t know what ta say… I’m sorry sugarcube…”

“Don’t sugarcube me! I wanna know everything that happened this morning.”

“Of course, but I… I mean, why did y’all wait so long ta tell me??” Applejack’s eyes were those of compassion.

“I had to tell the others too.”

“I see, but I’ve been runnin’ all over Ponyville lookin’ for that… Spike. Couldn’t ya have told me first?”

“I … I … I …” Twilight’s head shrunk back into her body and the distress on her face told AJ everything.

“Ah understand. I truly am sorry for your loss Twa’light.” Applejack said apologetically “Do ya think we could go somewhere a lil more private?” Twilight looked at her friend with suspicious eyes, but then nodded. Twilight started walking in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres and Applejack followed. Once the two ponies had cleared the last few buildings and were alone on the dirt path, their conversation began again.

“So, would you please tell me everything that happened? Anything relevant, it doesn’t have to be something from this morning, maybe something you saw Spike do, or something he said?” Twilight asked.

“I told you earlier. I came home early after sellin’ a cart full-o-apples and when I looked in the barn there was Spike just-a-doin’ it with Winona!”

“And what happened then! What did you say? What did he say?”

“I yelled at him of course! Y’all woulda done the same thing! I said WHAT IN TARNATION ARE YA DOIN TUH MY DOG and he looked mighty scared, as well he shoulda been. He tried ta say he was sorry, an’ I told him he was GUNNA be sorry and then I tried ta grab him, but he ran off…”

“And that was it? You didn’t chase him? You’re one of the fastest ponies in Ponyville, don’t tell me you couldn’t catch him.”

“I had ta make sure Winona wasn’t hurt!” Applejack said defensively.

“And you didn’t say anything else to him! There has to be more then THAT!”

“Twa’light, I’m tellin’ the truth, I’m the element of honesty, remember?” Applejack said disarmingly. The two ponies reached the front gate of the Apple Family property. Applejack opened the gate and Twilight ran ahead, up to the barn and strode inside. It was an ordinary barn, hay strewn about, wooden floors and walls, everything checked out at first glance. On the floor Twilight noticed a small stain, the dried evidence of Spike’s misdeeds.

“Winona’s in the house now sugarcube.” Applejack said trotting up behind Twilight.

“I – I believe you Applejack.” Twilight said “I just – it doesn’t make any sense, Spike wouldn’t have done this and he certainly wouldn’t have taken his own life.. ever!”

“Maybe ya didn’t know him as well as ya thought ya did?”

“I KNEW Spike since he first hatched! We’ve been best friends forever! We shared everything… at least … at least I thought we did.” Twilight said

“Look sugarcube, I can’t forgive Spike for what he did, but I do know he musta been wrestlin’ with some mighty strong demons to put us through all this. We all may never know why he done did what he did, but I think it might be best for y’all if ya just try and put this all behind ya.” Twilight was opening sobbing now.

“But I have to know why! He was my best friend AJ, I just… I wanna remember him as the fun-loving, cocky, caring dragon I knew all these years, but…” Applejack allowed the purple pony to cry into her withers

“…but ya can’t get today outta y’ur head.” Applejack was visibly saddened, but was taking the news of Spike’s death better than the others had. Perhaps it was her tough, working-class upbringing, or just the fact that her recent experience with Spike made her understand that he was troubled. Whatever the reason, Applejack’s sadness was more for her friend whom she could tell was suffering. “I know it’s hard Twi; today’ll probably be the worst day y’all will ever know, but the pain’ll go away. These things take time sugarcube.”

“It… -sniff- it doesn’t feel like I could ever get over him. Everything reminds me of him AJ.”

“That’s natural Twi, but ah promise, with time, and good friends, you’ll get through this.”

“…and what about you? You’re not sad??”

“Course I am Twa’light, I mean, maybe it hasn’t fully hit me yet. I was madder than a bull at a rodeo at him this morning. I suppose I’m just takin’ it differently, but I’ll miss the little guy; we all will. I know how much Spike meant to you. If y’all ever need to talk to somepony, or just need a friend, I’m here for ya.” Applejack said with a caring smile.

“Thank you… I’m sorry… for everything”

“Don’chy’all be sorry for nuthin’, just do me a favor and try ta get some sleep and remember mah offer is always open!”

“Thank you.” Twilight whimpered.

~~~~~

As the sun finally went down on what had been the most stressful, emotional day of Twilight’s life, she wandered home, missing the feel of Spike’s weight on her back. The purple pony found her way upstairs and curled up in her bed. The silence was unnerving. It was the first time she’d slept alone in a great many years. Twilight missed the soft lilt of Spike’s slumbering breaths. The world melted away until all that was left was Twilight and her thoughts. All the comfort she felt when she was around friends didn’t seem to follow her into her thoughts when she was alone. Painful feelings swam in her mind. She felt her life was tapestry that had begun to unravel. She had had a good thing with Spike, but now she’d have to adjust to a completely new, more solitary life; she wasn’t sure if she could do it.

Twilight found herself wondering where Spike was, pondering the questions that had plagued great philosopher ponies for centuries. Despite all her intelligence, she had never really thought much about the afterlife, she was too young to think much about such things in great depth. She’d read a few different things about life after death in her travels through literature. There seemed to be a number of conflicting theories, something that annoyed her, and they all seemed to be tied to other beliefs and ideas, something which also annoyed her. Was Spike living out his greatest fantasies right now? Or was his soul simply, gone? Knowing Spike, Twilight figured if he had the option, he’d be silently watching her in some incorporeal form. The thought gave her comfort, but at the same time grief; She wouldn’t want Spike to see her in her current depressed state, let alone have him know that it was him who caused it. The purple unicorn rolled over and pressed her face into her pillow to hide her sobbing eyes from Spike’s apparition, wherever it may be.

“Oh Spike… Why? Why did you do this to me?” Twilight whispered to herself as darkness consumed her room, and her heart.

Word would spread to every pony in Ponyville in a day or two. In three days time, there would be a wake, “the saddest party ever” as pinkie would come to call it. Ponies from all over town came to offer their condolences to Twilight and her friends. The friendly faces would give Twilight a brief glimmer of happiness, but afterwards she’d go home and mope as usual. The funeral, the next day was supposed to bring closure to the tragedy, and while it did for some, it never would for Twilight. Only time would heal those wounded the deepest, and for Twilight this meant years. Twilight tried to put on a face around her friends, and with time it became more genuine, but she wasn’t as happy as she used to be. Twilight never took AJ or Rarity up on their offer to talk; she chose to deal with her emotions on her own. Life began again, sluggishly, like a dragon stirring from 100 years of slumber. Twilight would never forget Spike, although with time, his absence became less and less unnatural. Most importantly though, Twilight never got the answer to the question that chewed at her the most… why?