Live A Life, or Forge It

In the kitchens, as soon the first doubts died down, the occupants immediately got back to work, ignoring my presence.

But I was hungry.

Very hungry. I could eat a hippopotamus full of boar, if I had it.

Naturally, I lacked of such a dish, and I wasn't allowed to cook for myself my food, so I resorted to begging and whining.

For around ten minutes, nothing happened.

After fifteen minutes, two cooks started to twitch their eyes in annoyance.

After half an hour, said cooks, clearly desperate over every limit, decided to satisfy me, and letting me eat something.

They told me to exit from the room, thought, saying that if I wanted to have something to eat for breakfast in five minutes, I needed to  wait outside, so I could not deal damage to the kitchen, if I started to lose patience.

Naturally, that offended me a bit, but I understood their point: after all, I annoyed them for half an hour for get my food.

As result of my  begging for food, I got two omlettes; three toasts mushroom ham and cheese; and a good deal of salad: finally, I ate something different from cooked apples and mushroom ham.

In fact, I was so glad to eat that food out in the hallways, that I didn't cared much about who was passing near me, and just ate with pleasure, moaning of pleasure slightly at every bite.

When, finally, my take of “food porn” was done, and I had left only empty dishes, I returned said dishes to the kitchens, and started to think about what to do for pass time, since I was left anything to do by Luna who was now, considered her nocturnal life, sleeping soundly in her room; and I had no idea about what was the layout of the building, so I could not tell where it was wise to go, and where not.

I looked around me, and saw that the kitchens where in a dead end, so I could not advance further: my only option was only go back to the first crossroad between the hallways, right behind me.

And so I did: I reached the center of the crossroad, and started to think about where I could find a map of the palace, without destroying part of the wall and using the flakes of plasters resulting by the damage as reminder about where I went.

Oh, and I lacked of paper and pencil for trace the places that I already saw.

Not that the two items were going to be much useful anyway, since I sucked at drawing, and I could not write with my hoof: simply put, without a  map not drawn by me, all I had  for going around the big building was my memory.

Since I didn't knew where to go, I decided to take a random hallway, and see where it was going to brought me: I took the left hallway, an hallways full of plants like ficuses; palms; oleanders and so forth.

After a very long walk in the well-decorated hallway, full of classical statues in marble, and plants that gave some life to the place, I saw two guards coming right in front of me: they were talking to each other, so they didn't saw me right away, but I needed to find out somewhere to hide, since, again, I didn't knew if the statement of Luna “Everyone in this building but my sister knows” was true, considered her tendency to avoid like plague every contact with other ponies.

That would mean that, maybe, the two guards weren't informed of my arrival, and maybe they could see me as an intruder.

Yeah, I knew that they weren't going to kill me... but getting kicked out the Palace, or imprisoned wasn't really a good idea.

And so I tried to hide behind a ficus: I curled up myself at the base of the plant, put down two leafs on me, and waited.

Just when I finished to disguise, the two guards stopped to talk, and watched where they were going... only for then stop right in front of the ficus I was in.

One of the guards, a black pony with a white spot on the muzzle, after rotating a water clock upside down, said:

“So, Spearhead, what are your programs for your day of leave for the Ascension ?”

The other guard, a spotted gray and brown, answered:

“Apart use that time for 'reorder' the 'Playcolt' collection that I own ?”

The two laughed.

From what I understood, they were talking about a pony equivalent of “Playboy”.

Basically, I had in front of me a great wanker.

Not big surprise.

When the laugh died down, they returned to their normal position, then they come back from where they came.

But, before leaving their place in front of my ficus, the spotted one asked:

“Do you know about the 'special guest'  that Luna said that was going to arrive today ?”

“Yeah. She was very excited about him, like a ferret in heat.”

“Weird, no ? After all, she is the most lonely pony ever existed: in fact, the first time that I saw her, I wondered  how she could be the sister of Princess Celestia.”

“Right. But it still can be, since Luna was send on the Moon for around 1000 for her envy and I bet that stay on a deserted rock for so long doesn’t help you in deleplov social skills. Or liking towards the others, for the matter.”

“Anyway, I wonder what does the guest have of so special to cause overwhelming joy in Luna for his arrival... maybe the guest is a shrink ?”

“Or maybe he is the twin soul  that the charlatan mare Madam Fregon said that Luna would have as love interests. But Madma Fregon isn't really very trustful: she said that my twin soul was a certain mare, her name Fluttershy. Turns out,  FLuttershy is a mare afraid of her own shadow, and can't talk to you for more than a minute without lowering her voice to gibberish. Guess where is the problem in a eventual relationship between me and Fluttershy”

“Well then: Princess Luna will learn to not trust to the scams.”

The black one looked at a water clock at his right, noticed that more than hour passed since their arrival, and said:

“Anyway, let's back to our work as patrol”

The spotted one nodded, and they returned form where they came.

Since they knew that there was a unknown guest hanging out in the palace, I idiotically felt sure that was safe come out, and go to explore everything without fear.

Clearly, I forgot about the part that they talked about a love interests for Luna: they thought that the guest was an adult stallion, not a human-turned-in-colt, like I was.

And so, as soon I got off my disguise, and moved towards where the guards were going, said guards stopped dead in their tracks.

I thought that it was just a stop of their patrol.

Turned out, they detected my hoof steps.

The one with spots on the fur said quite loud:

“Heard something ?”

The other one nodded, and slowly rotated.

A shiver went down my spine: they got me.

I thought that the only option that I had was run away from the guards.

And so I did: I jumped in the opposite direction form the one that I was facing, and started to gallop.

The guards screamed, at no avail, “Stop right there !”: when they say that I wasn't stopping, they started to chase me.

After some running, I arrived into the crossroad again, and I was confused about where to go: I already went north, where the kitchens were located; clearly I could not go back from where I came right now; and so I went south.

It seemed that the guards had the same idea: in fact, when I turned towards the more sober, in terms of decorations, southern hallway, I heard again the sound of armored hooves on marble, like when I was running away from them in the hallways before.

In front of me, the hallway kept going, so I kept running, even if this was wearing me pretty fast.

But I guess that my chasers were even more tired, since they were covered in full plate armor, and they were armed with a spear: at best, they were going to run for twenty minutes, before running out of strength for keep chase me, who was lighter, and used to run very fast.

But, after a long run, I found myself in front of an apparent dead  end: I started to panic, and kissing goodbye to my chances to live normally... until I saw that, in fact, that “dead end” was just a fork.

Relieved, I took on instinct the left turn: after a short distance, thought, I found myself in front of a door with a plank placed on a hook on the wall as closure, and the door was locked... and the guards were coming.

In despair, I tried to open the door, even if I was a bit too short for do it comfortably, and see where it was going to bring me.

Celestia was sitting on the throne, starting a new ruling day, with the same routine, and the same, continued, paperwork to sign and fill; problems of the princedom to acknowledge and discuss later with a council; accepting the occasional diplomats... the same things everyday.

While Princess Celestia was awaiting to receive the first pile of documents, a thought occupied her mind: Celestia heard that the last night, there were some complaints about the Night Court, because said Court was ran by two clerks, and not by Celestia's sister Luna.

The white alicorn wondered why Luna wasn't doing her duties at the court: after all, when she dismissed for go to bed that night, Luna seemed perfectly healthy and sane in mind: she had no reasons for not going to the Night Court, and do her work.

But maybe it was just an instance of laziness by Luna, that wanted to just keep doing... something.

Something that made her excited and happy, a mood that wasn't common in the blue alicorn.

In fact, Celestia saw that in the past days Luna got a bit more excited about.... something.

Something that Luna refused to explain to her, like if Luna had a new found secret pleasure that her sister Luna felt so obscene, that she could not tell to anypony what was about, not even her sister.

Whatever it was, it was likely that said “pleasure” was linked to her decision of placing to clerks in the Night Court and don't care about duties.

Celestia's thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a secretary with a quill; the inkpot and the paperwork to fill and sign.

The secretary, an old red unicorn with a gray goatee, levitated said items, placed them at the base of the throne, then silently bowed, and went away, into the Bureaucratic Archives.

And so Celestia started to read at a fast pace what was written on each document, then, depending on what was for, Celestia signed the document; filled the space for the signature with a “X” for the rejected; made a double cross for the irregular documents and so forth...

While Celestia was signing a document regarding the economy, attesting that, for the third consecutive month, the mines near the capital city produced only flies, and that was advised to shut them down, a loud bang was heard in the room, causing Celestia to launch the inkpot all over the stacked documents, and causing an heart attack to the poor copiers that witnessed to the scene, who now needed to write again something like 300 pages of State Documents.

All in three hours. And with other documents to write in said three hours.

Anyway, Celestia moved with a burst of speed her head towards her right, where the noise come from.

What she saw was... weird to say at least.

The pony that banged the now opened door was a gray colt with a red mane: said colt was panting, and seemed melting for the sheer amount of sweat poured form his fur.

That was... uncommon to say at least: Celestia didn't recalled that in the private parts of the palace were accessible to everypony.

Even less to colts of the age around the six years.

At first, the colt just stood there,  breathing, each time slower than the time before, until he reached a normal breathing rhythm.

Then he lifted his head... and screamed with the few air that he had left:

“EH, MA CHE SFIGA ATOMICA !”

Soon after that, he dropped himself.

After he dropped, two guardsponies, their names  Spearhead and Fugientes Interfector, ones of the oldest guard in the palace,  exited from the door form where the colt entered. Their faces were, at first, a mixture of worry and tiredness, for then turn into tiredness and relief.

Spearhead said:

“Oh, Your Majesty, you are safe and sound: this intruder has consumed all our energies, but he finally fell”

Celestia looked quizzically to Spearhead

“Really, Spearhead ?  I know that he is an intruder, but... I don't know how he could hurt me in any way.”

“Who knows: considered how many fanatical democratic and nationalists groups have risen in the past years, and their tendency to assail your person, he could have been attacker over every doubt”

Celestia said:

“Well, he doesn’t seem a pony sent to harm me. It seems more a lost colt. Just carry...”

Celestia was interrupted by the colt, who said:

“Excuse me ob intermissionem, magna Regina Caelestia, mea culpa non est: tuam sororem Luna, ut late me a domi, culpa est.”

The two guards looked at the colt with a surprised look, while Celestia, after the very brief moment of confusion caused by the sight of a colt speaking Latin, said:

“A well-educated colt that was grabbed by my sister Luna. That would explain why she wasn't in the Night Court last night. Guards, carry him into the guest room for the diplomats: I want to discuss something with him later.”

The guards looked at each other, then looked at Celestia, then to the colt.

Fugientes Interfector asked:

“Are you sure, majesty ? He doesn’t seem so important to deserve the room...”

The white alicorn hissed a bit, and said:

“I have my reasons for doing so, my dear Fugientes. Now escort him to the room”

Sighing, Fugientes nodded, and took on his back the colt, then Fugientes and Spearhead exited from the door from where they entered.

Well, that was really a good: not only I was kidnapped by an over-excited Princess Luna; I was also got caught by two guards, and I revealed myself to Celestia without thinking twice.

Great.

At the time, I was in the room for the guest diplomats: said room was decorated quite finely, with pictures of good quality depicting landscapes and busts of important ponies of the past, important ponies that were eerily familiar to me: there was a portrait of a certain pony, “Benito Muzzlelini”, that, both in traits, name and clothes, seemed very familiar to me: Hell, he had also a black shirt, and a black flag with the phrase “O Roma, O Morte” (“Rome or Death”) written on it !.

Yes: the ponified version of a fascist dictator was hanging in the room where I was in. You can guess that, when I noticed that, I was a bit surprised, considered the... unfortunate implications of hanging such a thing in the bedroom of the foreigner diplomats.

Anyway, moving on.

The other things that the room featured were three small windows, that made as daily illumination, and five unlit torches as night illumination.

As bookshelves, there was a very classy furniture piece in ebanon, that used as columns three bags sustaining the shelves and, on their flanks there were the drawers where place whatever small object you carried.

And, finally, the bed was a king-sized bed with line sheets and (for some reasons, considered the setting) mais pillows.

While I waited to talk with Princess Celestia, I read a book found on the bookshelves: said book was a (slightly modified) version of “La Reserchè” of Proust.

As you can guess, I didn't managed to finish the book before the arrival of Celestia.

In fact, I didn't noticed her arrival until she poked me softly my back, and said:

“I need to talk to you, my little loyal subject”

I rotated myself, and asked:

“What do you wish from me ?”

Celestia sat down, on the bed, and started to talk:

“So, you just said that you got kidnapped by Luna. Tell me, what she did to you, before you exited from her room ?”

Weird question: after all, that question hinted that Princess Celestia feared that I was sexually molested; or beaten; or both, by Luna.

Well, I know that, until few days ago, I would never say that Princess would be a fan of the humans.

But seeing Luna assaulting foals felt very... not in character.

It seemed more something that her possessed form would do.

Or a drunk Celestia eventually.

Anyway, I answered:

“Nothing, Majesty: she just cuddled me a bit, and sweet talked to me. She didn't harmed me in any way.”

“Was she drooling ??”

“No, why she should ?”

“Did she asked if you wanted to became her personal student ?”

That question took me off-guard: why it should be a negative thing ?

Then I thought that, maybe, Princess Luna ad took foals from the unwilling families, and suing said kidnapped foals as students.

Problem is, there is a reason for why the Personal Student must came from a family willing to gift their son or daughter to the State's cause.

At first, I thought to say no, like at all other questions, since it didn't happened... but then Princess Celestia would figure out that her sister kidnapped me because I was a human.

I knew that Celestia was going to send me back to Earth, if she knew my true identity, and, since  my brothers were still around, I was going to be sent in their maws.

Hoping that Luna would figure out my decision to say that I was kidnapped to be made Luna's student, I said:

“Yes, Majesty: Princess Luna asked me if I wished to became her student, but she left before I could answer.”

Princess Celestia nodded, and said:

“I understand, my little subject. Don't worry, you will be home soon. While you are here, thought, you can come with me, and have something to eat.”

Celestia pointed with one of her armored hooves the door: since I was hungry, I nodded, and followed her outside the room.

And, boy, I wish to describe what I ate at lunch that day, but, boy, I forgot everything: the food was so... heavy on the stomach, that made me forgot what I just ate !