Starlight: Loving the Dead

by RGLloyd

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Romance, Adventure
Length: 19937

Celestia gives Twilight a book that will allow her to speak with the spirit of Star Swirl...it goes well. Too well...

Sister fic of and continued from Dashaloo Days: Angry Flight Training and runs simultaneously as Dashaloo Days: Wonderbolt Flight Training

Celestia, certain that Star Swirl would want to meet his secret arcane protege', gives Twilight the spells to unlock the veil of ether to summon him to the realm of the living. Twilight, reeling from psychological damage after a magical accident with Dash, which Celestia accidently complicates, runs away and stubbornly moves forward with the summoning. After the first meeting Twilight finds herself abandoning her life as she bends and breaks the rules of spirit magic to summon her idol all too often, compulsorily adopting his whims as her new life's mission. Can Celestia and Star Swirl stop Twilight's self destructive obsessions before she commits to horrible consequences? Can Celestia come to terms with her own inner turmoil at the crossroads of Twilight's fate as it lays in her hooves?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-10 15:25:04 UTC

Psychological Damage

The Ponyville hospital was abuzz with ponies. Dash's ground impact rainboom had caused all manner of injuries. From concussive shock and cuts from falling glass to ponies falling down stairs and temporary deafness. Nurse Redheart flitted about the crowds, bringing leadership to the jumbled mass as she shouted out orders to a hoof full of volunteers. She spared a moment to glance out a window at Twilight, her brow furrowed worriedly. She won't last much longer. That's the third casting this morning... She turned swiftly and headed for a closet. She's going to pass out again. "Set up the princess' room. Get the magic trauma kit charged! I want a stretcher out there now!" The volunteers reacted instantly, already practiced veterans, having done this same drill twice the day before. She grabbed an I.V. from a shelf, a prefilled syringe of painkiller, a pack of saline, and a smaller pack with a purple liquid and a makeshift white strip of tape labeled 'Unicorn Mana Medpack.' She tossed the items onto a sterile tray in Twilight's room, and swiftly turned to head out to Twilight, the capped syringe tucked gingerly behind an ear.

Twilight stood in the center of organized chaos. Close to fifty beds had been moved from nearby homes out onto the hospital lawn. Every bed held at least one injured pony, though most of the major injuries had been taken care of the previous day after Twilight had worked out the spell from her newest studies. Twilight took a deep breath, focusing on her new healing spell as it formed in her mind, a thick magenta aura roiling around her horn. Unicorn volunteers were stationed at planned intervals throughout the crowd of beds. Rays of magenta arced out to these unicorns, striking their horns, causing the air around them to radiate with a high frequency vibration.

The spell was all too simple. To heal the injured, Twilight just had to increase their body frequencies high enough to engage their own natural speed healing abilities. Injuries cause a pony's vibrational frequencies to drop dramatically. By increasing the vibrational frequencies of the area around everypony, and bringing their current vibrational states up to a healthy level, the injuries will heal naturally in response! Simple. Except the vibrations only work so far out from her body until they dull and become impotent. At first a few reluctant unicorns had answered her call to relay her magic. Mostly due to a lot of them having injuries, but after Rarity had joined in and applied her social skills, unicorns were lining up to help, well after we healed them back to the point they could hear again... Today, there were twenty such volunteers, and Twilight was custom shaping the spell to each and every one of them. Not so simple...

Twilight, having passed the difficult point of starting the spell began pushing herself to channel every bit of magic through her to meet the demand of the other unicorns in her network. Rarity, being one of the hubs, accepted the magical energy as it struck her horn, and marveled at the intricate weave and care that Twilight had so expertly crafted into it. Twilight, darling, this spell is beautiful. So simple yet so lovingly crafted! She passed the spell along, splintering it into five new directions to five other waiting unicorns. She gasped at the ease and flow of the spell. I'm just a conduit, the spell itself recognized me and acted of it's own accord... She spared a glance over at her friend, a worried frown creasing her delicate features. Twilight's legs were shaking, and even from a distance Rarity could see the strain in her friends posture. Hold in there Twilight! It won't be much longer, dear.

A numbing tingle ran down Rarity's horn, her eyes dilated with the intoxicating sensation as it spread past her ears, down her neck, and in a wave of euphoria it enveloped her entire body. She shivered a little, her legs feeling week as she was nearly overpowered by the urge to lay down and bask in the dizzying warmth. The sniffles of foals and disgruntled moans of the injured however kept her well grounded in the reality of why she was there. With stubborn determination she stood her ground, willing the magic to flow and vibrate through her as she tuned it outwards in silent invisible waves that flowed over the surrounding injured.

Many ponies fell asleep on the beds, their bodies shutting down as the soothing waves flowed around and into their aching wounds. It relieved their pain, and relaxed the high strung tension from their nerves. Slowly, numbly, their bodies' vibrations rose to match the bombarding frequencies. Twilight strained through it all, sucking in the energy around her, her breathing labored as her legs gave out with finality, bringing her to her knees. The glow in her horn flickered, the arches of magic faded, and Twilight collapsed to the ground.

Rarity trotted over swiftly to her fallen friend. She noted the stretcher that had been waiting near Twilight, and that nurse Redheart was already injecting a pain killer into Twilight's shoulder in preparation for the oncoming massive headache. Rarity enveloped Twilight in a soft magical glow as she helped lift her onto the stretcher. Nurse Redheart turned with a meager smile and a nod, worry etched into every feature.

Rarity met her gaze with a sad shake of her head. "If she wasn't helping so many injured and needy ponies." She blinked and diverted her eyes. "I would never let her abuse herself so horribly."

Nurse Redheart nodded, her aching overworked muscles screaming at her from lack of sleep. "I know. I was just about to say the same..." She looked back at the crew carrying Twilight's stretcher as they cleared a path into the hospital. "Rarity, dear, she won't listen to me, but perhaps you can convince her to slow down a bit. At this rate she could really do some damage to herself. We are almost caught up too. The vast majority of injured are well on their way to recovery. We are almost ready to start moving beds back to their owners homes."

Rarity nodded. "I'll try again..." With a yawn Rarity plodded forward, looking fabulous in her exhaustion. "How is Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, and her mom faring?"

Nurse Redheart gritted her teeth. "Well enough, though I doubt they would have pulled through at all without Princess Sparkle's night sessions with them. Dedicating herself to maintaining that spell for three to four hours per night..." She trailed off with a shake of her mane. "She has to slow down. Donnybrook and Rainbow Dash are stabilizing swiftly. That sweet little filly is also past the worst of it. The broken bones in all of them are already knitting well. The swelling in Scootaloo's brain is also subsiding..." Nurse Redheart let out a long exasperated sigh of relief. "...finally."

"So much for patient confidentiality." Rarity giggled light heartedly as she teased nurse Redheart, who she had swiftly grown fond of over the past few days of aftermath chaos.

"Rarity, dear, at this moment in time you are as good as hospital staff." She grinned over at Rarity. "I could get you a nurses cap if you'd like."

Rarity giggled. "Oh, that does sound fun!" They trotted down the hall, together, grasping at any sliver of mirth they could find in the somber and sad atmosphere in the wake of the Rainbow Calamity.

Twilight blinked away the fuzz in her brain. Her hospital room came into focus swiftly, which she was grateful for, but more than a little irritated that she was getting used to this kind of situation. If I had more stamina, I wouldn't have to deal with this! She growled and berated herself. I could still be out there helping ponies right now! She slammed a hoof onto the bed in frustration which quickly ebbed out with a drawn out sigh.

"You aren't to blame, Twilight dear, and you know that." Scootaloo intoned from the bedside in somber sadness, her wings horribly bent, crusty blood matting her fur from head to toe.

Twilight startled, her eyes dilated, her breath caught in her throat, her muzzle drew open to say something only to emanate a startled squeak of terror.

"Twilight!" Twilight closed her eyes and shook her head. Scootaloo was suddenly replaced by a very concerned Rarity. "Can you hear me? Are you okay?"

Twilight exhaled in exasperation as a flood of emotions burst forth, her self control having been shattered by her shock over the hallucination. "What do you mean? I failed Dash as a friend, it's all my fault! I couldn't even help her with her problems, and then I went and made things worse. Then she attacked Donnybrook, and...I'm so sorry!" She trailed off, shivering and sniffling as she fought back tears.

Rarity moved to speak, her lips curled down worriedly as her hoof hovered hesitantly inches from Twilight's shoulder.

Twilight cut her off, wrenching back her willpower in an emotionally raw internal struggle, regaining some poise through monumental effort. "I know! I know I can't be fully blamed for this mess, but I am a princess now and I need to take responsibility for this." She let out a frustrated groan that ebbed into a relieved sigh. "If only I had been able to solve Dash's problems that night. Or at least tried harder. I was so mean to her, and I wasn't trying to be, but I really insulted her when I should have..."

"Twilight!" Rarity, having recovered her lost grace from Twilight's shocking outburst, closed the distance between her consoling hoof and Twilight's shoulder. The tears in Rarity's eyes staying Twilight's words. "Twilight..." Rarity began again, in a softer more subdued tone. "...at least you tried. I didn't even raise a hoof to help my friend in her hour of need. There's just no excuse for it. I'm a horrid friend." She raised her other hoof to cut off Twilight's arguments. "The least I can do to make up for it is to help you in healing the ponies who were injured by all of our shortcomings. However, right now there is one pony who needs me the most, dear." Rarity pouted at Twilight.

It took a second for it to kick in. "Wait...what? You mean me?" Twilight looked around in confusion. "I'm fine! There's nothing wrong with me. We all escaped the blast when I cast the shield remember?"

"Not that, dear. Your heart." Rarity put a hoof to Twilight's chest in emphasis. "It's devastated, Twilight, and you are abusing yourself to escape the pain." Rarity put up her hoof again to cut off any arguments. "Nonono, no arguing, I want you to accompany me for a bit of an outing this afternoon. It will be simply marvelous with just the two of us. First off, little Ms. 'I haven't had a shower in three days...'" Rarity indicated Twilight's disheveled-ness with a waggle of her hoof. "...is going to the spa. My treat." Rarity's eyes reflected the futility of attempting any contrary arguments.

Twilight, feeling that the whole conversation was teetering one sided, decided not to force the scales. She's right...I am a mess. She ran a hoof down her dirty matted coat. Rainbo... She sighed, batting away a fly, as she forcefully cut off her thoughts, and flopped back into her pillow as she turned on her back. Her hooves hung pacified across her chest as she snuggled down under the sheet. "I really could use a good spa visit..."

Rarity nabbed the sheet, and flung it off her friend. "Right! Come on Twilight, dear. I will not have my precious friend moping around in some dingy hospital bed. You are royalty for ponies sake, and as such your presentational standards befitting your station have top priority!"

Twilight let out a groan borderline filly whine. Her legs flopped out to the sides. "Can't it wait a bit longer?"

"Absolutely not! If we wait any longer then we won't make it in time for your special surprise!" Rarity flashed Twilight her tender 'love me' smile with a bat of her eyelashes. Twilight perked up, but Rarity hushed her with a hoof. "TUTtututut...first, let us indulge in the finer delights of life."

Twilight smiled, grateful for Rarity's concern and welcoming the change in pace. "No, first we need to visit Scootaloo's room. Then, we can leave."

Something in Twilight's voice brooked no argument. Rarity smiled warmly, nodding in consent.

Twilight soaked down into the bath, letting the nourishing scented oils permeate her coat, and soothe away the stress of the week. Rarity, sitting across from her, had opted for a full facial. Twilight giggled inwardly as she glanced over to make eye contact but was met by the blank stares of two cucumber slices. "Thank you Rarity. I didn't realize how much I needed this."

Rarity waved a nonchalant hoof. "Don't mention it, dear." She melted into the water with a sigh. "I really needed this myself."

Ok, time to work out that secret. So...first some small talk. "Isn't your usual spa day with Fluttershy tomorrow though?" Twilight moved her hooves in an attempt to engage Rarity's interest in the conversation. Oh...right, cucumbers. She rolled her eyes at the futility instead and let them flop to the water.

Rarity smiled. "Really now? Can a pony have too many pampering spa days?" She paused with dramatic flare, her eyebrows raising in sincerity, but leaving the comical effect of expressive vegetables in Twilight's mind. "Besides, dear, in my line of work looking one's best is half the battle. Nopony would be able to appreciate the designs of a slovenly vagabond."

Twilight frowned in thought. "Hmm...noted. Though I can't imagine that description ever applying to you."

Rarity squealed in giggly delight. "Oh Twilight," she blindly pawed a hoof at her friend playfully, "you're so sweet."

Twilight smiled back, a little confused. "I kinda thought that was obvious. Can something so obvious be construed as a compliment? I thought it counted more as a statement of fact, which, in retrospect really didn't warrant any need to be stated if it is so blatantly obvious. Given that you are the most polished pony in Ponyville. No, it really doesn't make sense as a compliment..."

Twilight, deep in thought over her current self inflicted distraction, missed the removal of the cucumbers. Rarity wrapped her forelegs around Twilight's neck, and pulled her into a big giggly hug. "Never change Twilight, dear. Forever stay the wonderful pony you are." She backed off ever so slightly and pursed her lips. "Now, I need you to tell me all about your troubles, and no secrets." Rarity's persona switched as she looked down at her nose into Twilight's eyes, a trained jewelers eye picking out the slightest hesitation and marres in crafting a jewel of perfection. "I know you've been bottling up some stress in there and I have a good idea what's been bothering you, but it's more therapeutic if you say it. Soo..." Rarity proffered an upturned hoof as if to hand the conversation over to Twilight.

Eeep! Divert! "I have no idea what you could be talking about! I'm just worried about our friends." Twilight grinned a little too wide, her ears falling back flat against her head as she dodged Rarity's discerning gaze. "Soo, what's next on the list?"

"I was waiting for that question. I believe I will defer to the definition of 'surprise' my dear Twilight." Rarity grinned mischievously. "And, you are hiding something!" Rarity leaned back triumphantly as she snuggled further into a comfortably warm position in the bath.

"Right, understood." Twilight, sighed and fidgeted with a few passing bubbles that were swirling around the water flow. Fail...maybe my timing was off? I definitely kept a straight face...Rarity is just that good... Twilight sighed, giving in to the inevitable.

"Whenever you are ready, Twilight. Take your time." Rarity waited with all the natural patience of one who deals with picky and critical customers.

Twilight got to the point, beating around the bush never having suited her disposition. Still, she picked the lesser of the two problems on her mind. "I'm summoning the ghost of Star Swirl the Bearded tonight..."

The sound that left Rarity's mouth was neither ladylike nor socially acceptable in any way, however she decided it was appropriate for the situation. "Eyighyasy-you-w-whaat?" She stared dumbfounded at her friend.

Twilight continued. "I'm a little nervous about it." She fidgeted, rubbing the tips of her hooves together, a slight blush creeping across her cheeks.

"Twilight! You aren't going on a date with this ghost are you?"

"What?! No! Nonono, I'm just summoning my idol." She looked away sheepishly. "I hope he likes me." A slight panic crept into her eyes as they locked onto Rarity. "What if he thinks I'm not smart enough? What if he doesn't answer when I call!?" She chewed at her hooves. "Rarity, I wouldn't know what to do! I'd never be able to cast magic again!"

"Twilight, hon, I think thats the least of your worries."

"Oh, it's definitely top of the list. I hope he approves of my theories..." She trailed off staring at the swirls of the water, trying to shrink a little deeper down into hiding.

Rarity's mind roiled with a plethora of ways to handle the situation, but comforting a socially nervous friend over a meeting with a ghost was defying all her experience. It's ludicrous! She's nervous for all the wrong reasons. Where do I even start? "Twilight, uhm..." She ventured forth with extreme care. "...I trust you have planned to keep this meeting safe?"

Twilight's ears perked up, her face flushing beat red. "Oh, Rarity. I'm just summoning him to thank him for all he's done for me, and perhaps mull into a few discussions over some of his old works. I don't think it would ever get that personal between us." Her ears fell flat against her head, eyes diverted over a shy fleeting smile.

For the second time that night Rarity was struck speechless. "Uhh..." Her eyes darted around for a good response. At this point I'm not sure if I care about making it a proper response..

Twilight continued mercilessly. "Besides, he's ethereal. We couldn't possibly be..." She paused, her blush somehow deepening. "...intimate." She further plunged into the water giggling hysterically, hiding behind her hooves.

Rarity's jaw dropped, her head tilted to the side so the information overload could pool into the corner of her brain for easier sorting. An eye twitched ever so slightly. I was well aware there are social situations that have no proper response... I believe this is the second one I've ever come across. Calling my friend Twilight crazy is NOT going to help the situation here, however... Unfortunately for Rarity, her mouth disagreed. "Are you feeling alright, dear?"

Twilight pouted indignantly, as she was stung by the look in Rarity's disconcerting gaze. Trying to regain her composure, she drew up defensively to her full height. "I am not crazy!"

"NO! I didn't mean to imply you were!" Yes you did, that was absolutely horrid! "I'm just worried about you Twilight. I fear, this may not...end well for you." Rarity grinned lopsidedly, trying to soften the impact of her words. "I really don't want to see my precious friend hurt by possibly dangerous..." Don't say fantasies...find another word! "...fantasies..." OH, you fool! Rarity how could you!

Twilight drew in a long winded breath followed by a heavy sigh. Rarity blanched, buckling down for a well deserved flank chewing. "I..." Twilight diverted her eyes as she slumped over. "...know."

Twilight's sudden downcast turn sent needles through Rarity's heart. "Please don't think too far into my response dear. I fear I am reacting on surprise. One does not gracefully respond to the announcement of their friend inviting ghosts into their home for a late night soiree. However, my reaction was still rude. I am so, so sorry dear. Please, forgive me."

"Don't worry about it. You are right anyway, Rarity. I wasn't sure what response I was hoping for, but I guess the whole idea is kind of ridiculous when you back up and look at the facts." Twilight sighed defeatedly.

"Ooohhh, don't stress over it Twilight. This bath was to cheer you up." Oh, I'm losing her! I can't let this go on. Think Rarity! She scooched across the tub and pulled Twilight into a hug, opting for the silent friend approach. Well, I'm not going to fix this if I keep shoving my hoof in my mouth. So...the surprise! Right! "Of course!" Twilight pulled back shocked out of her insecurities by Rarity's outburst. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking out loud." Rarity laughed awkwardly, her smile drawn and crookedly taught. "The surprise! It's almost time." She stepped daintily out of the tub, proffering a helping hoof to Twilight. "Care to join me?"

Twilight accepted the help, rolling a little less daintily out of the tub as she scrambled for purchase on the slippery tiles. "So..."

"Definition, my dear Twilight. Refer to the definition of surprise..."

"Right...of course. Not a surprise if you tell me..."

"Cor-rect! Now towel of quickly. We don't want to be late!" Rarity wrapped a towel into her hair. "We still have the hooficure, and the mane stylist before we can leave."

"I thought we were going to be late?"

"Well of course I am allotting enough time to fully enjoy the rest of the spa visit. Wouldn't want to ruin such a fabulous pampering by rushing through it now would we?" Rarity beamed over at Twilight, feeling well in control of the situation again.

Twilight giggled back, feeling comfortable knowing Rarity had meticulously planned out her afternoon for her, finding it relaxing knowing she didn't have a long demanding list in hoof to worry about. Specifically because I am not thinking clearly today. So it's a nice change of pace, not having a list of my own...well, at least for one afternoon. Twilight impulsively reached back to produce a lump of crumpled white glob.

"Eww...Twilight, whatever is that horrid thing?" Rarity blanched at the sopping pile of weird in Twilight's hoof.

Twilight sighed. "I must be distracted...this list used to be my day plan."

Twilight sat staring at the dust bowl just outside of Ponyville, and a short distance from Dash's cloud home, or where the cloud home used to be. She remembered back to a few days ago. Dash went completely insane! Why would she attack Scootaloo's mom, Donnybrook, like that? Twilight had a good idea, since she had seen into Dash's soul and memories four days earlier, an accidental side effect of a soul seeing spell she'd been using to read a special kind of book locked in the ethereal spirit world. Twilight stepped over the raised rocky rim and into the cratered dust bowl, roughly twice the size of a full hoofball field. The force of the rainboom impact had been monstrous. The dust itself had mostly been cleared, a task taken on by Rarity who now danced with sparkling eyes of wonder with little frilly giggles.

"Oooh, waha-ha-haha-ooohh! Twilight! Isn't it amazing! Just look at all these crystals! Oh, even the rocks are marvelously painted. Rainbow Dash is a true wonder of an artist! Who knew?" Rarity's dance was tempered as to not disturb the myriad of crystal formations that shot up from the ground in small spires of dazzling sparkly masterpieces of every color imaginable. "Rainbow crystals! I didn't even know rainbow crystals could exist!" Rarity's giggles swiftly neared hyperventilation as she shooed more dust out of the bowl with disdain, and burst into more ecstatic dancing as she uncovered yet another stretch of crystalline rainbow wonders. Then, with finality, she moved to the center of the bowl and daintily sat down on all fours, tucked her legs under, and waited in silent expectation.

Twilight watched in rapt fascination as her friend stopped moving. Rarity patted the ground next to her, signalling Twilight to sit, which she complied. "Rari..."

"Shh..." Rarity threw a gentle hoof over Twilight's muzzle. "Watch..." Twilight froze, transfixed on the glistening tears in the corners of Rarity's eyes.

As Rarity turned skyward, eyes closed, and basked in the warmth of the near noonday sun, Twilight found it difficult to look away. Your mind perceives so differently than mine. I wonder if...the soul seeing spell... Rarity would you let me see through your eyes? Twilight shook off the thought in fleeting horror. What am I thinking!? I'm still plagued by Dash's memories from it! Yet for a brief moment longer Twilight yearned to see the world of beauty the way her friend did. She wondered at the joy of creative inspiration, and in that brief moment, wanted to reach out and touch Rarity to ensure she was real. There's no way I could ask that! But... "...just once I want to see the world like you..." Twilight mumbled absentmindedly.

It wasn't until her hoof was halfway to her friends shoulder that she noticed Rarity was glancing at her out of the corner of an eye, a smile on her lips. Twilight recoiled with a blush. "We are both acting a bit out of sorts today, are we not?" Rarity closed her eyes again, and sat center of the bowl amid a crystalline wonderland. The colors struck her, moved through her, mind reeling from the myriad of inspirations and flooding sensations that tingled through her body. Dresses of every style, fit, and situation bombarded her mind. All-new color combinations, cuts, and stitchings that would have fallen flat in the past suddenly became possibilities to accentuate, and expound upon the awe inspiring beauty that sparkled throughout the bowl. "Perhaps you are wondering why I called you out here?" She grinned at Twilight's barely perceptible nod. "This..." Rarity threw a foreleg around Twilight's shoulder and pulled her close, she clasped her hooves around Twilight's eyes. "Eyes shut, I will show you what I see." In truth, my dear Twilight, I hope this provides some modicum of comfort from your guilt and stress. Perhaps to balm my earlier embarrassment as well... Rarity bit her lip in anticipation.

Twilight, having confirmed Rarity was indeed a firm part of her reality, sat in anticipating silence. She waited patiently, until Rarity gasped. "Beautiful..."

"What?!" Twilight's ears perked.

"Oh sorry, dear, almost forgot..." She removed her hooves.

Twilight reeled from sensory overload. Her forelegs quivered, mouth hung open in awe as her wings flared back. Her feathers shook with the thundering of her heart as her pupils dilated in wonder. Surrounding them in every which direction was a solid transparent wall of jumbled dancing rainbows. A dome of kaleidoscopic color swirling against the background of the sky as the suns rays filtered through the rainbow crystals and reflected off at every angle. She reached out a hoof, grasping at the dome of wonder that encased her. Her breath caught and refused to move passed her lungs as a tear streamed down her cheek.

Rarity reached a hoof over and wiped the tear away, and gently closed Twilight's jaw, turning her head gently to meet her eyes. "This..." She hoofed in a wide arch. "...is what I see. The wonder of colors as they inspire, dance, and play in my dreams crying to be let out through my art. The colors speak to me, craving to be put to shapes that accentuate the natural beauty of the ponies around me. They guide my magic, whisper in my ear, and conduct my hooves in the creation of visual poetry. But this..." Tears streamed down her cheeks as she reached a hoof out to gently caress the rainbows that filled the air. "But this...is art in the raw in it's most beautiful natural elegance. It would be a crime to destroy this gift...even for a dress..."

"Rarity, we have to show the others..." Twilight trailed off as she ran her hoof on another futile round to capture the beauty that captivated her.

"We will in time Twilight. It happens once a day at noon." The sun moved slightly off it's apex, the rainbow dome of dreams disappearing in response. Rarity continued on in a slightly somber yet satisfied tone. "You were the one that needed this most dear. Ever since that day you have been moping around blaming yourself as if you failed in some grand scheme of things."

"Well I certainly didn't help any. I made things so much worse. I drove Dash out of her own house with my callousness. I was completely blind to her needs, and now she's in a coma."  Twilight's lip curled in disdain over her emotional shortcomings. "I couldn't do anything in the end." An image of Scootaloo flashed through her mind, her chest tightened viciously in response, sending her cringing with the flash of a grimace across her muzzle as her mind reeled under a barrage of guilt ridden emotions.

"Aww..." Rarity threw her forelegs around Twilight and pulled her into a hug. "If you know anything about Rainbow Dash it's that she will love you just for trying. You gave it your all and that's what matters." Rarity rubbed a comforting hoof through Twilight's mane, then sat back and looked her directly in the eyes. "What happened between those two was destined, and needed to happen. You saw the looks on their faces as clear as anypony else on the scene that day. They were smiling like fools. Half dead fools, but happy nonetheless. Both of them had found exactly what they needed..."

Rarity was cut off by a southern drawl. "And unless you could beat the Everfree lovin' tar outa that thick headed mare, then you had about as good a chance at fixin' her problems as the rest of us!" Applejack trotted over.

Rarity threw her hooves up in warning. "Careful! Step lightly Applejack, you will crush the gems!"

Applejack stopped short, looking around as if seeing them for the first time. "Aha! Thats why you been out here for the past few days."

Rarity huffed, releasing Twilight, who sat in self reflective silence. "Well, excavation is a long and arduous process. One befitting my talents and the cause is indeed noble enough that I just couldn't bring myself to hoof over such a delicate art project to anypony else."

"Right, and the prospect of gettin' yer hooves first pick of these gems which happen to be on Rainbow Dash's property has nothin' doin with it?" Applejack rolled her eyes, and shot her a skeptical glare.

"Apple..." Rarity was cut off.

"Applejack! How could you," Twilight suddenly snapped and stepped forward with a huff. "Rarity isn't a thief, first of all, and she is here to answer the call of the inspiration of her art!" The vehemency in Twilight voice caught all three of them off guard.

Rarity nearly swooned. "Twilight! You do understand me!" She threw her forelegs around Twilight in a giggly hug as she nuzzled her mane.

The look in Twilight's eyes were just as surprised as Applejack's as she tried to figure out exactly where she pulled that sudden flux of emotions from. I'm losing control of my emotions. What the hay is wrong with me... Twilight continued, trying to distance the conversation before anypony could focus in on the outburst. "Besides, I'm sure Rainbow Dash isn't going to mind parting with a few crystals later on. I'm sure theres some on the outlying rim of the bowl that don't contribute to the light display."

Rarity giggled. "My thoughts exactly!"

"Aha!" Applejack hoofed at Rarity. "Ah new'it! Cain't fool an Apple!"

Rarity rolled her eyes, dropped off of Twilight's neck and cantered over to Applejack. "Well I did go through all the trouble of clearing out the filth and tidying up the place. A few straggling crystals shouldn't be all that much to ask for. It is for my art after all, and I am just dying to get back to the shop, and make a new dress for Rainbow Dash." She squealed, "Ooohh, just imagine, the colors I can work with and blends I could pull off with crystals every color of the rainbow. They will play magnificently with her natural beauty!"

"Ah, tarnation, now she won' quit will she." Applejack nudged Twilight who shrugged and giggled a little in response. Applejack eyed a crystal near the rim of the bowl. She kicked it in passing, which sent her into a fit of over pronunciation. "Ow! Oh my. Look here what I done. This poor crystal. It has been knocked loose by my carelessness." Twilight chuckled, and facehoofed, her eyes squeezed shut at the painful sight of Applejack's bad acting skills. "Oh whatever shall I do?"

Rarity, not one to miss her que, trotted over. "Oh, Applejack, do be careful dear. I certainly hope you weren't hurt!" She picked up the crystal in her magic. The other two stared at her with knowing grins. "What? Well we just can't leave the poor thing there, now can we? Besides, what if somepony else trips over it?" Her friends giggled. "Oh, never mind! I'm a slave to my muse, and her voice is loud and unrelenting. It won't shut up until I create this dress, and I want to be able to sleep tonight! Don't judge me!"

Twilight, and Applejack trotted after Rarity, their laughter infectious as Rarity began to join in. The three friends merrily parted from the bowl, feeling lighter hearted for the meeting, and the weight of their friends coma's a little less burdensome.

Twilight and Applejack waved goodbye to Rarity as she trotted down the lane, a happy bounce in her step as she headed swiftly home and to her sewing machine. Twilight turned towards the library. "I'll see you later Applejack! Have a good evening."

"Now hold up!" Applejack quickened her pace, coming up even with Twilight. "I came all this way to talk to ya, and ahm not about to let ya outa mah sight again."

Twilight winced and looked away. I've been meaning to apologize better. Applejack was the first victim of the soul seeing spell I cast to read my spirit book... "I'm sorry Applejack. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to look at you with those eyes, or for you to see the ritual. I should have locked the door, but it was midday. The library hours weren't over yet, and I couldn't wait for closing time. So I thought I could just cancel the spell before addressing anypony who came in. I didn't mean for it to cause so many problems."

"Ahm over it, but what worries me is you ain't." Applejack smiled lopsidedly at Twilight's confused look. "Yer not over what happened. You haven't let it go. You been mopin' around fer day's locked up in that library. Pinkie says she can't get you ta leave to come ta lunch and you turned down her Dash n' Donny are alive celebration invitation." Applejack raised a concerned eyebrow. "Besides being the best parties in Ponyville, I doubt you would miss one of Pinkie's parties without good reason. Being with yer friends is a lot'a who ya are, and secluding yerself from the world is a lot'a who ya left behind. Nah of course I understand you been puttin' in overtime at the hospital helpin' all the injured folks, but..."

Oh, Celestia, I guess I have been a bit obsessive over my latest project. Studying into the early hours of the morning, and preparing the ritual materials. Twilight froze, a guilty look crossing her features as she bit her lip and averted her eyes. Should I tell her? Would she believe me?

Applejack grinned ear to ear. "Oh this is gonna be good. Whenever you get that look..."

Twilight cut her off. "I am going to summon the ghost of Star Swirl the Bearded, hopefully, tonight..."

Applejack stopped dead in her tracks, her hackles raising on end. "Su...sug-ar...cu...come again?"

Twilight giggled nervously off key. "You know...Star Swirl the Bearded. The most amazing wizard in all of Equestrian History?"

"Ahm friends with you Twi, I think I'd know who he is by now." Applejack shot Twilight a dubious frown. "But the dead are past n' moved on fer a reason Twi. It just makes me nervous is all. Ya don't go arroun' messin' with the natural order of things, and makin' house calls of the dead ain't natural."

Twilight winced. "I didn't think you would approve, but it's something I have to do..."

"Why?" Applejack cocked her head to the side. "I understand he's your idol and all but..."

Twilight cut her off. "That's exactly why!" Applejack backpedaled a step. "I have the opportunity to meet my idol. The pony who dedicated his whole life to magic, and leaving behind a legacy for unicorns everywhere to build off of. Half of everything I know came from his dedication in teaching and collecting knowledge to write down in his tombs. It was like I could feel his hoof on my shoulder all throughout my youth." Twilight's eyes glistened over at the memories. "Every day in the library I wasn't ever alone because Star Swirl was there to guide my studies. When I was lost there was always one of his books, or scrolls falling off a shelf as I passed, calling out to me, guiding me to the answers!" Twilight took a deep breath, and let out a tempered sigh. "I know it's a little crazy." Her eyes rose to meet Applejack's straight on. "But if I don't do this, I'll never forgive myself for squandering the opportunity to thank him personally."

Applejack was struck speechless, the raw and honest emotion in Twilight's words striking home. "Aww, sugarcube..." A comforting hoof bolted up to Twilight's shoulder and pulled her into a hug. "Ahm ashamed. I had it pegged all wrong. I had no idea it meant so much to you. I'm real sorry."

"Thanks Applejack." Twilight leaned into the hug, some of the tension from the past few days ebbing out. "I need to stop by the library to make some preparations. Then I am heading to the hospital to lead the healing team for Dash and Donnybrook." And my private session with Scootaloo. Twilight bit her lip, trying to divert her thoughts from the anxiety building up in her gut as she fought a sudden desire to rush to the hospital, and Scootaloo's room.

"Well, I still don' approve of this meddling with the dead business..." Applejack patted Twilight's shoulder and backed off the hug. "...but I sure understand that a pony's gotta do when'in a pony's gotta do it."

Twilight blinked her obsession away, and donned a devious grin. "So you want to meet him then?"

"Not on yer Nelly!"

Twilight giggled in a rare show of teasing. Applejack rolled her eye's, and stuck out a tongue surrounded by a smile. "Ahm gonna be too busy as it is."

"Oh, right, you are taking charge of rebuilding Dash's cloud home. How could I have forgotten that?"

Applejack raised a dubious brow. "Really? If it isn't written down, I wouldn't have expected you to remember."

"I have it written..." Twilight reached back and Oh, right...list plus water equals open and clear schedule.

"NO! No." Applejack stopped Twilight with a pleading hoof. "Please, no lists. Everything's coming together with the home. Dash's weather team have been flying in special made clouds from Cloudsdale, and anchoring them to the ground so I can coordinate. Fluttershy is even sculpting the Pegapone' style pillars. Says she helped sculpt out the originals for Dash back in the day." She shook her head. "I have'n a clue where she picked up that skill set, but she's good at it."

"How are you handling the clouds though? Did somepony cast a cloudwalking spell on you?" Twilight looked honestly curious, not sure anypony else in Ponyville had the experience in magic necessary to cast such a spell.

Applejack shook her head. "Nah, Ditzy Doo had some special cloud boots she threw on mah hooves. Works like a charm."

Twilight cocked her head to the side. "Why would Derpy need cloud walking boots? She's a pegasus..."

"Right," Applejack scratched the back of her neck with a lopsided grin, "uhh...turns out she sometimes gets really distracted, somehow forgets she's a pegasus, and falls through the clouds."

"How?" Twilight shook her head. "I'm not even sure how that would work..."

"I stopped asking questions like that a loong time ago, Twilight. I've had enough experience with Pinkie Pie to know that some things just ain't explainable. So ther'n no reason to wrack yer brain over it."

Twilight shrugged it off. "Well, sounds like you have everything under wraps." She motioned towards the library. "I need to get going if I am going to make it to the hospital in time."

Applejack nodded. "I got work to be done too. I will stop by to see you again soon." The two friends turned and trotted away with a backwards glance and a wave. "Don't be a stranger ya hear?"

Twilight smiled cheerfully. "Promise!"

Twilight sighed, the events of the day flitting through her mind as she played out the drama over the past week, trying to let go of some of the stress. She trotted on, came to the library door, and heard muffled voices from inside. She swung the door open, and stepped over the threshold.

"Yeah, it's right here! I kid you not. The books completely invisible, and made of spirit particles or something like that. Ask Twilight!" Spike insistently pointed around a spot in the middle of the room where Twilight had left her spirit book.

Fluttershy cowered behind and latched onto a Pinkie leg, whose owner was pawing curiously at the floor. "Right here, huh?"

"Yep right there, you just can't see it, but Twilight tells me it's amazing, and huge! She says it's got a living cover that changes with the constellations, and the moon phases, and it's hoof stitched strands of some kind of wood." Spike emphatically reinforced his words with waves, and exaggerations of his claws.

"Neat! Though Twilight really shouldn't leave her books laying on the floor, though I guess you can't trip over it because you can't touch it." She looked thoughtful as she cantered back, and forth over the indicated book zone with her forehooves. Her hindhooves being held in place by a quivering Fluttershy. "Yep! Most convenient non-trippy book ever! Except...how do you find it if you forgot where you put it?"

Spike raised a curious brow. "Really? That's your first concern? Not, how does one read it if it's invisible, and can't be touched?"

"Well magic! Duh!" Pinkie rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "Anypony can figure that out."

"But...doesn't that logic also solve your first question?" Spike asked in confusion.

"Pfffttt...silly Spikey, you can't leave everything up to magic! Sometimes you just have to put a little old fashioned hard work into it." Pinkie puffed up, flashing her 'insanities great! Join me!' grin.

"I...uhm...real-ly..." ...give up. Chalk another one up for Pinkie logic. Spike turned to greet Twilight, recognizing the exact way she opened the door. "You are totally right Pinkie. I'll be sure to keep that in mind next time." He took a deep breath to steady his nerves. "Hey Twilight! Welcome home. Pinkie and Fluttershy are here to see you. Don't forget though, you do have 'that' planned later tonight, and I will be staying at Rarity's for it. So, if you need anything, let me know before then. I'll be upstairs packing."

"Thanks Spike! Hello everypony!" Twilight cheerfully trotted in greeting her friends. They've all been so worried about me. I really should strive to be more attentive to my relationships. "Thanks again, Spike. I'll be sure to triple check the list before you leave." She turned to Pinkie and her new Flutter-anklet. "Fluttershy? What has you spooked?"

"G-g-host...b-b-books!" She shivered harder.

Pinkie glanced down at her, a pained and worried expression creasing her forced smile. "Fluttershy...I can't feel my leg anymore. Maybe you could switch to the other one for a while?"

Fluttershy snapped out of her terror. "Oh! Dear, so sorry!" Switched legs, and clamped on for dear life as she resumed her horrified jittering.

"Oh, much better!" Pinkie kicked her numb leg out to the side a few times, her jolly grin coming back full force as she took a few steps forward to meet Twilight, Fluttershy dragging behind her.

"Fluttershy, you know the book can't hurt you right? It just sits there, and...is a book." Twilight tried her best at consoling her friend.

Fluttershy grimaced, her eyes widening in dilated horror. "It...s-s-s-summons...g-ghosts!" She ended on a high pitched squeak.

A deadpan eyeroll crossed Twilight's features as she yelled up the stairs. "SPIKE!"

Spike called down. "She asked! I just gave answers! her reactions to those answers are not my responsibility."

Twilight's head fell low as she let out a deep groaning sigh. "Come on Pinkie. I'll deal with preparations later tonight. For now if you two want to talk follow me over to the hospital."

Pinkie drug Fluttershy across the floor on her way to the door as Twilight stepped out. "Oh, preparations for what? Are you throwing a party?"

"Pfftt, not unless you count the dead as lively guests." Twilight's witty reply fell flat as Fluttershy let out a screeching sob. "Oh, sorry! Fluttershy I didn't mean it..."

"Yes you did! Spike told us everything! S-st-tar Sw-wi-wi-irl." With a final shiver Fluttershy seized up and fainted.

Pinkie looked back, giving her friend a few gentle nudges with her hoof. "Huh, well...I guess I'll just have to continue for her!" She turned back to Twilight. "Okay Twilight! Are you ca-ray-zay!?"

"What?" Twilight wasn't sure how she felt about being called crazy by the one pony whose trademark was chaotic insanity.

"Are you nuts? Cuckoo? Out of your mind? Off your rocking horse?" Pinkie's eyes narrowed as she leaned in, starring Twilight down. "You're not a changeling are you!"

"What? Of course not, Pinkie. That's ridiculous! How would you logically even come to that conclusion in this situation?"

"I'm the one asking questions here, and thats exactly what I would expect a changeling to say!" Pinkie took a step closer, staring dubiously at Twilight, Fluttershy dragging unconsciously behind her.

Twilight took a deep breath, put her hoof to her chest, pushed the Pinkie induced chaotic stress away, and let out a long calculated sigh. Thank you Cadence for teaching me that! Whatever did I do without it? "Pinkie! I Pinkie-promise that I am not a changeling, and am indeed your friend Twilight Sparkle." Don't stick the hoof in the eye! She crossed her hoof over her heart and, Don't stick the hoof in the eye! "Yeow!" She stuck her hoof in her eye. "Why!? Why do I always do that?"

"Because if you didn't, then you wouldn't be Twilight Sparkle! Duh!" Pinkie danced in place with her front legs. Fluttershy sniffled as she came around. Pinkie looked back at her. "Switch, please!" Fluttershy switched over to the other leg and held on for dear life. "Thank you!" Pinkie shook her leg out to the side. "Soo much better."

Twilight smiled, but her words were cut off by an over enthusiastic Pinkie barrage. "So what-are-ya-gonna-do-when-he-gets-here? Huh? HUH? I-know-you-aren't-throwing-any-parties-without-me. Right? Right!?" She stopped to think for half a second. "Oh, I wonder how ghosts like to party!? Do they play hide-and-go-shriek? I wonder if they have boo-nana-scream-pies?! OH-oh, I bet they dance to soul music and boo-gie all night! Oh, AND! I know..."

Twilight face hoofed, but it was Fluttershy who spoke first as she picked herself up and dusted off. "Pinkie Pie..." She leveled a serious glare at her friend, cutting her off. "...please, no more jokes."

"You feel better though now don't you?" Pinkie made a show of shaking the numbness out of her leg. Fluttershy blushed and gave her friend a barely perceivable nod, giggling behind a hoof daintily as some of the puns replayed in her mind. Pinkie beamed. "Mission accomplished." She turned back to Twilight. "Just make sure you stay safe, and if there's any trouble don't hesitate to scream."

Twilight snorted at the joke. "Phhhttt... thanks, Pinkie. I will." Twilight shook her head trying to dislodge some of the confusion Pinkie had slapped her with. "Well I need to get to the hospital. You two have a good night, I'll see you in the morning." Twilight trotted off before either of them could respond past a farwell. Twilight could hear Fluttershy mumbling as the distance grew, calling out to her. Sorry Fluttershy, I can't wait any longer. We can talk later. A twang of guilt pierced her chest, but...she had something important to do. Before it overwhelms me again.

Twilight stepped into Scootaloo's hospital room. She nodded to the nurse on duty who bowed respectfully and shut the door. Scootaloo was laying in her bed, still in a coma. Her features delicate, and peacefully innocent. Twilight watched as the filly's chest rose and fell ever so slightly, entranced by the relief and elation such a tiny movement sent coursing through her.

Twilight plodded heavily over, her eyes locked on the filly. Her hoof came up hesitantly, fearing she may carelessly shatter the delicate life under a jarring touch, her breath catching in her throat as tears welled up in her eyes. These feelings. They aren't mine... Gradually the breaths came faster and faster. Not mine! They are Dash's, but they...are so strong... She struggled to regain control of her emotions, but the pain spreading through her gut caved in her will. She threw herself onto Scoot, pulling her limp form into a tight embrace as she bawled into the pillow. I have to... "I'll protect her while you sleep Dash." Images flooded through her mind. Images of Dash curled up in her bed, fending off her friends, begging for time to find her own solace. Images of Fluttershy's rage, Dash's retort, and her own woefully timed outburst and self serving passive aggressive jabs. If only I could have protected you before it was too late! I just made it all worse! "I'm so sorry..." The spell churned through Twilight's mind, illuminating her horn as it cast an eerie green haze across Scootaloo's soft lifeless features. A low hum filled the room as the green glow brightened, and the healing waves of pitched vibrations flooded through the comatose filly in a concentrated dose. "Please Scootaloo, wake up soon..." I can't take this much longer...

Twilight stepped into the library wearily. I'm going to summon Star Swirl! "Now!" She commanded out loud, even as she dismissed the thought as ridiculous. She wavered on her legs, listing to the side. She sighed, her head hanging low as she drug her hooves one clop at a time up the stairs. Sleep, first. Then summon. She gritted her teeth in frustration. It's been the same ever since that night. I can't even look at the book with Scootaloo and Dash in that state. "I can't focus..." Twilight neared her bedroom door, pushing it gently open with a slight creak.

Spike was waiting for her, a tray of sandwich quarters, a rejuvenating fruit smoothy, and a small bowl of nuts in his claws. "Welcome home Twilight." He said somberly.

"Spike, you were staying at Rarity's tonight."

"Not really. I knew you'd be too tired again. I..." He looked off to the side. "...kinda never set it up."

Twilight gasped. "Spike!?"

"I know Twilight. I know, but I've been worried about you. Everypony has." He set the tray down, grabbed a sandwich square and proffered it to Twilight. She accepted it graciously, her stomach grumbling eagerly for the morsel. "You have been with friends all day long haven't you?"

Twilight nodded, too tired to argue, and too hungry to stop chewing.

"And you left without breakfast right?"

Nod.

"So tell me Twilight, what did you eat today?"

Twilight froze, thinking back to her volunteering at the hospital all morning, and her subsequent collapse. The spa visit with Rarity and the rainbow crystals. Her talk with Applejack, and then Pinkie and Fluttershy. Then I went back to the Hospital for six hours. Twilight glanced at Spike, a guilty flicker in her eyes and a twitch upon her lips which brooked no forthcoming reply.

"Thats what we thought..." Spike trailed off.

"We?" Twilight muffled through her mouthful of sandwich, spitting crumbs at Spike.

Spike shook the crumbs off. "Yes. WE. We as in all of your friends have decided to help you relax for a day before you hurt yourself." Spike drew up, trying to look as stern as possible. "Starting tomorrow."

"What!? Spike I'm fine!" Twilight backpedaled towards the door. "I just need some time to sort things out!" Twilight froze. That's exactly what Rainbow Dash said... Twilight's legs buckled, her mind connecting all the dots, drawing a vivid picture detailing her guilt. Scootaloo... Images of Dash sitting on her bed, head down with her mane covering her face as a hoof shot to the side smashing into a lamp flashed through her mind. Images of Scootaloo. Of a terrifying explosion, a rainbow mushroom cloud, her friends lying unconscious in the crater. Scootaloo's battered body and mangled wings.

"Twilight?" Spike inched closer to Twilight, who was laying face down on the floor, her features hidden in her mane.

"Go away..." She whispered.

"What?" Spikes concern deepened.

Dash's memories flooded back to her mind. Tender moments, loving embraces, and tears of agony. Emotion's assaulted her relentlessly. The feel of every moment impacting her in rapid succession. Please, stop!

"Twilight! Snap out of it!" Spike bent down to see into Twilight's eyes. A chill ran down his spine.

Dash's pain, sadness, and insecurities mixed and churned with Twilight's guilt, anger, and fears. Twilight lifted her head and glared through Spike, unable to suppress the emotions any longer as her haunted gaze focused somewhere far beyond Spikes own, transfixed on images she never witnessed, playing through memories she never made. These memories are not mine! "Get out of my head!"

Spike bolted for the door, leapt down the stairs, and bounded as fast as he could towards Rarity's shop.

Twilight's ears plastered flat against her head, her eyes wide and wild. Her muzzle wrinkled back baring teeth in terrified torment. Leave me alone! Twilight screamed, a piercing pitch carrying with it the agonizing torrent of emotions wracking her woefully unprepared psyche.

Spike picked up the pace, worried tears streaming down his cheeks. Lights lit up the streets ahead of him in response to the tortured piercing cries of the Ponyville Princess.

Locked Down

Twilight blinked slowly into consciousness, the rays of sun filtering through the window, illuminating lazy specs of dust as they floated aimlessly across her vision. Birds chirped happily outside, and she could hear the telltale signs of movement downstairs. Probably Spike making breakfast. Twilight yawned, and blinked again in a vain attempt to clear the sleep from her eyes. My throat hurts, I hope I'm not getting a cold. She went to turn, but her foreleg was weighted down by something...So warm. Whatever weighed down her foreleg squirmed slightly. Twilight's heart caught in her throat, and froze her blood. ...somepony is in bed with me! She drew in a deep breath, and held it.

Twilight filed through last nights events at a dizzying pace. No bars, no socials, no party's. I just came home after the hospital and went straight to bed. So who... Quickly her mind churned to take in every possible detail through feel since her eyes snapped shut and refused to confirm it. I am definitely using somepony's foreleg as a pillow. The other foreleg is hugging me across the chest. She swallowed hard, her throat sticking defiantly to itself to add to her missery as she continued the analysis. Her ear twitched in impulsive response to a mild warm breeze tickling her fur. S-s-s-somepony's breathing into my ear... Twilight's leg twitched as she felt the invasive 'somepony's' leg rub over and entwine with hers. Twilight shifted reflexively, attempting to move her legs away but found only futility. My legs are bound!! I'm tied up!

A shiver ran through her body triggering a cold sweat. Her eyes refused to open, the breath still catching in her throat. Something moved between her legs at the foot of the bed, it let out an irritated groan and flipped over, getting way too snuggly with Twilight's inner thigh for her comfort. EEP! What's going on! Her eyes refused to open, she gritted her teeth, sucking in slow methodical breaths. Her heart sank as she tried to move her forelegs. Silently she fought a losing battle to squeeze her hooves out of the ropes. Her breathing heightened to near hyperventilation. Tears streamed down her cheeks. This is just a nightmare. I am probably asleep, and this isn't real! Probably... She shuddered as somepony off to the side of the bed shifted and yawned. Three of them! If I could just...open my eyes I could magically untie myself!

Haltingly she forced her eyelids open. A pink blurry patch of hair at the top of her vision caught her attention immediately. Pink fluffy hair? Her head snapped to the side as she struggled against her restraints to see her snuggle captor more clearly. PINKIE! I should have known! This reeks of a bad prank. She craned her neck to see who was at the bottom of the bed. Laying across her legs, and Pinkie's, was a very uncomfortable looking but soundly asleep...Applejack? Her eyes snapped to the side of her bed. Instead of the floor her gaze met Fluttershy's startled gaze.

Fluttershy was laying on a cloud staring back with a frowny pout topped with concerned puppy eyes. "How are you feeling?" She whispered.

Twilight's jaw refused to work properly as it floated freely of it's own accord, ignoring her pleas for it scream any number of possible questions and demands.

Fluttershy whimpered, a tear in her eye. "Oh you poor girl. You must be starving..." She reached down and produced a small bag, producing a muffin out of it. "Ditzy Doo was very worried about you. She stopped by last night with some muffins after everypony went home."

"What?" Twilight's voice came out cracked. Her throat dry and raw. "Water...please..."

"Oh, of course." Fluttershy reached down and produced a small glass. She squeezed some of the cloud for water, then propped Twilight's head up, and helped her as she downed half the glass. "I thought you might be thirsty after all that screaming. You shouldn't talk anymore ok. I will try to keep you comfortable."

"Untie me..."

"Oh, that may not be such a good idea, please don't be mad. You were really spooked last night. Everypony was afraid you would hurt yourself." Fluttershy rubbed the back of her hoof across Twilight's forehead. "You are still running a fever." She reached above Twilight's head and produced a small towel. "It must have fallen off while you were asleep." She broke off a piece of the cloud she was using for a bed, and wrapped it in the towel. She spun it around in the air. "There we go. Nice, wet, and cold." She folded it, and laid it across twilight's forehead. "How's that?"

"Uhm...surprisingly better." Twilight breathed out hoarsely. She looked at the binding holding her hoof to the bedpost. She formed a quick spell in her mind, but pain shot through her skull, swirled around, and radiated up her horn where it sat and throbbed viciously. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut and gasped. Fluttershy squeezed her shoulder in worry.

"You poor dear." Rarity whispered from the doorway, a bag with the Sugarcube Corner logo on it dangled in a purple aura next to her. "It hurts that much just trying to untie a knot?"

Twilight gasped as Rarity came around to the bedside behind Pinkie. "Rari-" Her voice cracked and cut off her words. She lowered it to a barely audible whisper. "Your eye?" It's purple!

Rarity looked away. "Oh, dear, it's really not that bad. The bruise will go away in a day or two. Don't worry about that. You just focus on getting better." Her look softened as she laid a hoof on Twilight's. "Okay? We all need you to get better sweetheart." Her voice fell somber as she untied Twilight's hoof. Fluttershy followed suite, obediently untying her other hoof.

Twilight laid back and pulled her forelegs to her chest, leaving Pinkies head to flop to the bed, effectively jarring her awake. However, Pinkie stared on in uncharacteristic silence, watching Twilight intently. Twilight worked feeling back into her tingling limbs. "What's wrong with me?" She whispered carefully.

Applejack, having slowly come to, stretched out at the bottom of the bed, sitting up unsteadily on her forelegs. "Ya'll sleep well?"

"As well as any of us could I'm sure. For now, though, our esteemed guest has arrived, and is awaiting a full report on the uhm..." Rarity's eyes darted to Twilight, and back to Applejack. "...situation." Rarity motioned to the lower bedposts. "Be a dear and untie Twilight's legs would you?"

Applejack nodded with a yawn. "As long as she doesn't go trying to buck me off the railing again..."

"Applejack!" Rarity scolded.

"I hurt you?" Twilight indicated Applejack, frustratingly unable to form anything past a rudimentary sentence.

"Nah, not really. I used to get way more banged up than that just horsin' around with my big brother." Applejack threw her slightly sleep tempered 'Apple fresh' grin at Twilight.

Then on second thought Twilight hoofed at Rarity's bruised eye. "I...that?" Her voice cut out to a whisper of air mid sentence.

Rarity pursed her lips. "I told you not to worry about it. If I was mad, you would know it. Now just lay back and relax. Stop talking before you fall mute entirely. Save your words." She looked off to the side. "You will need them soon enough."

"Yep! Relaxation is exactly what you need. So since you are all untied now I'm going to make double sure you lay here and relax." Pinkie, suddenly announcing her awakeness, wrapped tight around Twilight's mid. Her legs wrapped around one of Twilight's thighs for good measure.

"Pinkie...personal space." Twilight whispered, her brow furrowed pleadingly. Fluttershy rewett the towel, and dabbed it gingerly around Twilight's horn.

Pinkie backed off a little. "Well, if you look at me like that." She pouted. "I guess you don't look like you're going to flip out again. So, ok." She unwrapped her captive. "It was my job to hold you down last night." The smile disappeared in Pinkies eyes. "It, really wasn't all that fun." She lurched forward, and wrapped around Twilight's neck. "We were so scared, but I knew you'd pull through! What happened Twilight?"

Twilight struggled to breath under the sudden Pinkie hug assault. "Don't know...want to know." She grated out in a strained grunt. "Ow."

"Pinkie! Release her this instant!" Rarity scolded.

"Uhm, Pinkie Pie, that's really not good for her fever. Please, be more gentle with Twilight in this condition." Fluttershy scolded Pinkie softly.

Twilight gasped as Pinkie relinquished hold on her right to breath. "Thank you Pinkie." She ran a conciliatory hoof over Pinkie's shoulder. "You..."

Twilight was cut off by a pink hoof to the lips. "Shhh...Rarity brought honey filled pastries. Mrs. Cake makes them special just for sore throats, and after all the screaming you did last night I figured your throat was going to hurt. I know, I've screamed for two hours straight before. Well..." She hoofed her chin in thought. "Not screams of insanity, but yelling over a really loud party counts, and I bet screams of terror hurt way worse anyway."

"Terfer? Infanity?" Twilight muffled the question around Pinkies hoof.

Applejack slid off the bed and stretched her back. "Yeah, terror's a good way to put it. You were spooked somethin' fierce. Thought you'd seen a ghost or..." Applejack stopped as everypony in the room snapped their attention to Twilight. The unasked question hanging in the air.

Twilight shook her head, gently pushing Pinkies hoof away. "No Star Swirl yet. Too tired..." Twilight winced as her voice cracked mercilessly. Rarity hoofed over a honey pastry, which was accepted and woofed graciously. Fluttershy smiled, and began relishing the surplus muffin that was waiting patiently in her hooves.

Twilight delighted in the soothing feel of the honey as it mercifully coated the burning raw of her throat. "Feels so much better." She whispered smoothly. "I can talk a little. What happened, exactly, last night?"

Spike stirred in the doorway, plodded over to his bed. Applejack began to speak, but was cut off by a green claw. "Please, Applejack, would you mind if I tell her?"

"Ahm not sure that's the best idea Spike. You were..." The look in Spikes eyes was haunted, and sad brooking no argument from the farm pony. Applejack consented with a solemn nod.

"First of all, you went completely nuts last night screaming about voices that wouldn't get out of your head. Then, you started attacking anypony who came close to you. And you nearly crippled yourself falling down the stairs." Spike was relentless in laying down the facts. Applejack stared uncomfortably at the floor, feeling guilty about being grateful Spike had stepped up, and saved her the pain of saying it herself. Fluttershy hid behind the pretense of nomming her muffin, fighting back tears as she remembered the saddening memories of being terrified of her friend. Pinkie, breaking personal space hugged Twilight gently, mentally preparing to hold her down lest she freak out again as she stroked her mane soothingly. Rarity simply watched, taking in everypony's reactions, especially Twilight's.

Spike pulled out a scroll from under his pillow. It was crinkled, and rolled up. One edge had been chewed rough from his sleepful fretting. Celestia's royal seal still attached to one half of the parchment. He walked over and jumped up onto the foot of Twilight's bed. "I panicked Twilight. I didn't know what else to do. So I contacted Princess Celestia." Twilight tensed, a look of unbridled horror crinkling her nose, her eyes wide in shock. Her friends braced themselves. Applejack moved closer to the foot of the bed, Pinkies grip tightened slightly. Rarity moved out of Twilight's vision, a very light aura enveloping her horn in preparation as the ropes slithered back into place near the bedposts. Just in case. Fluttershy, nommed on in sadness, hiding behind her mane as tears pattered the cloud.

Twilight stared at the scroll. Any number of nightmares could be written on that parchment. Twilight's heart doubled it's beat. Absently she noted Fluttershy rewetting the towel across her forehead, Pinkie's whispered 'it's all gonna be ok's in her ear, and the telltale tingle of magic in her presence as Rarity failed to covertly situate the ropes. It's bad, oh Celestia is it bad. Applejack just lost two shades of color... She held up a hoof prompting Spike to halt. Twilight had a question, a dire one that needed to be answered...NOW!

Earlier that morning, at the castle...

Princess Celestia lay curled up in her bed snoring softly. The previous day had been overly taxing, literally. It was tax season and as per the usual every city and province were complaining, and whining relentlessly. Each one demanding to pay less taxes and receive more financial backing for every imaginable project from the mundane to the ridiculous. Celestia twitched in her sleep. Changeling excursions were up -twitch- crime rate had increased along the east coast -twitch- the Crystal Empire had a despairing food shortage which pushed the Equestrian disaster relief to its limits -twitch- and to top it all off resources were strained even further providing disaster relief for the Rainbow Calamity victims. Another twitch, followed by a dainty growl. "Rainbow Dash...strangle you...careless...Donnybrook...bad girls...rainboom...idiots." She mumbled in her sleep.

A lite breeze wafted in through the open window, swirled around, and in a flash of green fire it exploded before the princess' face. "Eeyahh!" Celestia sat up, her wings flapping frantically to gain her hooves purchase on slippery silk on silk bed sheets. Luckily her hooves found a good balance using her many years of surprise wakeups as reference. Unluckily, she had chosen to wear her fuzzy pink silk bunny socks to bed. While two layers of silk can be manageable, three layers of silk is a godmode challenge. One Celestia was forced into accepting with shocked irritation as her hindhooves slid forward, her butt bounced on the bed, and the springy mattress sent her flying off like some insurgent trampoline intent on a suicide coup. Celestia pitched forward in a flurry of flaps as she landed gracefully on her face, flank in the air.

Her butt fell to the side, and landed on floor level next to her just as the door to her chamber swung open, and the most unlucky guard in all Equestria burst concernedly in. "Princess! Is everything alright!?"

Celestia was not amused...

"Spike..." Twilight began her question a little louder than she should have, straining her voice to its current limits. "...what time did you send this letter to Princess Celestia?!"

Spike froze, frowned, and his eyes darted off to the side. "I uh...about two a.m." Spike gulped.

Twilight face hoofed. "Oh Spike, what have you done?" She took in a halting breath. "The princess is going to kill us! You never wake her in the middle of the night, and it's tax season. She's going to be stressed out of her mind..." Twilight trailed off.

Rarity moved to speak, but Twilight shushed her with a hoof. "No...don't say anything. Nopony says anything. Just read it Spike." Twilight breathed in methodically, her eyes wide and unblinking. "I have to concentrate. Every word could have double meanings." Spike hesitated. "Do it..." She commanded, her voice haunted and hoarse.

The look in Celestia's eyes froze the guard's hooves to the floor. It's the other side of Celestia!! He thought. The one I've only heard horror stories of! The side that could end worlds! The side that sent Luna to the moon for a thousand years, and froze Discord mercilessly in stone!

Celestia stood gracefully, her cold gaze never wavering from the young stallions, reading every word of his internal voice. "The side that's going to plant your plot on the sun if you don't get out of my bed chambers!" She finished his thoughts. "And you're lucky none of your thoughts were inappropriate." Her eyes narrowed dangerously.

The stallion's eyes reflexively glanced over at Celestia's flank. He forced them back to her eye's, and then with a squeak anywhere else but Celestia. Mercilessly they came to alight upon the bunny socks. Shut up brain, shut up brain, don't think, don't think! Oh but she's got an amazing flank...adorable in those pink bunny socks...DAMNIT! His armor clanked as he bounced off the door in a mad spin to exit the room. He skidded to a halt just outside the door in a failed attempt to turn, letting out a half whimpered cry of defeat as his hoof barely missed the door handle. He cursed the polished wax beneath his hooves as he scrambled for traction. After a long agonizing string of seconds he came within centimeters of the door handle, which sprung to life in a frilly pink aura. Realizing his predicament too late, the door slammed shut in his face, sending him sprawling painfully across the hallway. He came to a jerky halt a good fifteen legspans away.

He panted, thankful to be alive. The other guard standing next to Celestia's door snickered into a hoof. Four more guards appeared out of the woodwork as they rounded various corners. They all took in the scene before them as the poor unfortunate guard picked himself up shakily, his teeth chattering in his head.

The four hall guards converged on the two door guards, one of them voicing everypony's thoughts. "What happened?"

The veteran door guard hoofed over at the shaking victim. "Newbie. Went into the Princesses' room after hearing a noise."

The four hall guards snickered mercilessly and clopped him on the back. "Don't worry kid, happens to all of us at least once." One consoled halfheartedly.

The vet nodded knowingly. "Good lesson. You can hammer it further into your skull as you re-wax the mess you made of the hall." He hoofed at the scratches that trailed from the newbies hooves to a mess of chaos in front of Celestia's door.

The newbies shoulders slumped with a sigh. "Right, I'm on it." The other guards jostled him around playfully, but quietly as he smiled back, the fear of death ebbing from his limbs. "She looked amazing in those pink bunny socks..." He whispered half to himself, only to look up a moment later, and realize the other guards were staring at him, lips curled with a jealous glint in their eyes. The fear of death re-crept it's way back into his limbs... Totally worth it!

"WHAT ARE ALL OF YOU THINKING OUT THERE!" Celestia screamed through the door in her Canterlot voice, sending the guards scrambling frantically over each other to get back to their posts.

Celestia snickered. Oh, it's so fun to tease the guards. Stallions are so simple minded, and easy to predict. With a deep breath she placed her hoof on her chest, and huffed out her frustrations with a thrust of her hoof. Right, ok. Twilight sent me a message... She glanced at the moon. ...at two in the morning it looks like. Her eye twitched. She took another deep breath, and picked up the scroll. I'm certain it's important. Twilight knows better than to wake me at this hour. Equestria must be coming to an end. She smiled twitchily as she opened the unsealed letter. At least it better be. She began to read.

PRINCESS! COME QUICK! TWILIGHT'S GONE INSANE. IS ATTACKING PONIES AND SCREAMING ABOUT VOICES IN HER HEAD! - Spike

Celestia looked up from the hastily scrawled words, her face devoid of emotion. She read the letter again. -Twitch- She glanced over at her desk, summoning a quill, and some parchment to her.

Dearest Spike,

Please inform Princess Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student, that she is now entering the next phase of her latest test. Concerning the dangerous nature of this test where her greatest adversary will be herself, I will be presiding personally over her progress. However, I will be declaring Princess Twilight Sparkle to be an official danger to Equestria until I have ascertained that any, and all threats of her being taken over by her magic, and going rogue have been nullified. Expect my arrival in Ponyville by afternoon. Also, when Twilight comes back to her senses, please inform her that I explicitly warned her to 'read alone.' She will understand the meaning of those words, and why I am disappointed she failed to take them seriously.

Cordially,

Princess Celestia

Twilight's pupils shrank to pinpoints. Pinkie held on for dear life, waiting for a fit. Applejack grabbed Twilight's legs, as Rarity and Fluttershy each grabbed a foreleg. Everypony held their breath nervously waiting, until Fluttershy observed. "I think she fainted..."

Pinkie waved a hoof in front of Twilight's eyes. "...with her eyes open."

Applejack cringed. "This is bad..."

Rarity sighed. "...and a little creepy." She reached over, and gently shut Twilight's eyelids. "I will be downstairs, informing our guests that Twilight has yet to wake."

Celestia smiled as she sent the scroll whisking away on the night time breeze. Perfect timing Twilight! I could use a vacation, and stopping a princess from going rogue is the best excuse ever! Celestia flung the doors to her room open, and nearly bounced past the terrified guards. "Guards, one of you are to currier some dire, and secret information for me." She turned to the veteran guard, smiling happily. "You, inform the ministers that we are in a state of emergency, and I am officially on a mission to save Equestria. Also, they will need to handle all my affairs while I am away. Understood?"

The vet snapped a wooden salute. "Yes Princess!" Turned, but faltered. "Uhm... are they to start work now princess?" He looked up at the stars.

Celestia grinned. "Oh yes. If I am to be up at two am saving the world, then it would be wise for them to begin working on my heavy workload immediately before it becomes too overwhelming." Her lips spread in a grin. "Make sure they understand I will not tolerate any slacking."

The vet snapped a second wooden salute. "Yes Princess! It will be done!" He bolted down the hall at full sprint.

Celestia turned to the newbie, and grinned. "Why hello there." The guard stood at attention, quivering slightly, sweat already beading up on his brow, feeling like a clown fish before a great white shark. Celestia stepped closer, meeting him eye to eye. She could feel him shrinking inside. "Are my socks really that cute?"

YES! Adorable! Beautiful pony! Shut up brain! "Yes Princess!" Amazingly hot! SHUT UP! The sweat started dripping down his cheeks as he fought the urge to run.

"Good answer. What's your name?" She asked in a honeyed voice.

The guard stopped quivering, and frowned. His eyes narrowed as he looked off to the side. Don't make me say it! He gulped, and grinned nervousely as he noticed Celestia's ears shoot forward in interest. Aww...crap, can't get out of it now!

Celestia giggled. "What ever gave you the impression you could?"

I'm being teased. The guard deadpanned mentally.

"Yes you are." Celestia grinned giddily.

Well, over the ledge I go. "My name is Flour Peddle, Princess."

Celestia's eyes widened. If not for her years of self control, the laughter rolling up her throat would have overcome her. "Just to be clear. You're my royal guard, lieutenant Flower Petal? Am I correct, my little pony?"

"Yes, Princess." His voice faltered, feeling a piece of his manhood die inside. "Flour, as in baking flower, and Peddle as in peddling wares. My father was a good sales pony and I took his last name. My mother was an outstanding baker. I was named Flour for my white coat, mane, and tail. My eyes are also off white." And I am pretty sure my mother wanted a filly. Considering the staggering colt to filly ratio in our world, I can only imagine her crushing disappointment.

Celestia's knees nearly buckled from the effort it took to hold her laughter in check. She made a scene of sizing him up, grateful he hadn't caught his last thought. Oh, I would have lost it if he had! "Your mane and tale are three tones of blue?"

"Ah, yes princess. I dye them." He looked down sheepishly. After my idol Shining Armor!

Celestia looked away, and bit her lip. She regained her composure quickly, and glanced at his cutie mark. "Two crossed kitchen knives over a pink donut? Aren't you a bit out of your element here?"

Flour stammered. "I am...an excellent cook if my mark indicates correctly...but I didn't want that life anymore, and my exceptional skill with throwing knives landed me a position as a hall guard." He looked down the hall. "Seeing as I can hoof throw a knife pretty far and hit a target dead center. I used to practice on donuts at fifty paces, back home." He grinned, hoping the onslaught of questions would end as Celestia perused the belts of knives strapped around his legs, neck, and mid.

A guard, personal cook, and lively entertainment. How deliciously interesting. She pawed at the tile in thought. The guard sweated patiently. "You..." Flour jumped, visibly quivering again. Celestia's eyes narrowed above a devious grin. "...you're coming with me."

Twilight's eyes fluttered open. She layed on her side staring at the wall of her room. Ambient lighting filtered in from her windows. It was warm, too warm to be morning anymore. She yawned. Her mouth and throat felt sticky. I must have been snoring with my mouth open. She scratched around her hooves, fighting off a mild itch. My hooves are a little tender. I must have been thrashing around from that horrible dream. She cringed. "Wow, what a nightmare." She rubbed her temples.

"Aww...Twilight are you having bad dreams again?"

Twilight froze, her mane frizzing out chaotically. Her hackles arched, following the chill that ran up her spine, and exploded in her head leaving behind a dizzy fuzz over her thoughts. "Princess?"

Celestia laid next to her pupil, yawning off the last bits of sleep. "Sorry Twilight, I was really tired after arriving, and you don't have a guest bed. It's awfully noisy with everypony downstairs so the couch was out of the question. So I thought I would sneak in here while you were still asleep." Celestia conjured her favorite hairbrush.

Twilight's jaw attempted to form words, but there were just too many clamoring for precedence. An assault of overwhelming emotions rose up through her. Her teeth clamped shut as her lips pulled back under a crinkled muzzle. I won't cry! Her gut roiled in agonizing nervous embarrassment. Her head pounded with a myriad of self critical judgements, each one harsher than the last. I won't cry! "I knew it was because of the spell." She squeaked out. The brush glided through her hair, taming the frizzies. I won't cry! "I knew it was because I didn't listen to your warning." The brush moved smoothly, gently. "I don't know what's wrong or how it affected me yet, but I absorbed some raw emotion's from Rainbow Dash. I know they aren't mine, but I can't control them yet!" Don't cry!

Brush, brush, brush. Celestia hummed softly.

"I am so sorry for letting you down like this..." Twilight trailed off as the anxiety squeezed her chest mercilessly, forcing her into halting jerky exhales. Don't cry! Please! "And I hurt my friends." Her voice squeaked out her shame as she clamped down on her tongue to fight off the torrent of tears building pressure behind her eyes. I don't wanna cry! I'm too old for this! Twilight could feel the workings of Celestia's magic permeate the room. "I'm soo sorry...I let the Rainbow Calamity happen..." She sniffled, her body glittering with the effort of fighting off the sobs that demanded release. Oh, no...I'm going to cry! "So many ponies got hurt." She bit her lip, her self control slipping.

Celestia wrapped a foreleg around Twilight, turning her gingerly over, and pulled her tight into a hug. "I put up a sound barrier."

Twilight fought the sobs further, letting out a squeaked. "I know. Thank you."

"So, what is holding you back?"

"I don't want to disappoint you. I'm a princess now and I have to be strong."

Celestia chuckled softly, and nuzzled Twilight's mane. "Silly filly. Under all the pretense, and glamour. Past the titles, and politics." She took a deep breath, recalling the words she had locked in her heart to mind. "You are still my little Light, warming my heart, as the sun sets tonight..." She pulled Twilight tighter, feeling the tears as they matted her fur. "...little filly curious, innocently trailing my luminous..." Twilight sobbed softly. "...shades of twilight, guarding my love, as I sink into darkness, forever my little Light."

Mercifully, nopony heard the piercing wales of the Ponyville Princess. Save one, the Princess of the Sun, holding her dear little Light.

Confessions and Understandings

Twilight opened her eyes slowly. Her world was soft and dark. The heady scent of honeysuckle gently overpowered her senses. Celestia... Twilight listened for a response. Either she turned off the mind reading spell, or she's asleep. Twilight listened to her mentors breathing with a grateful sigh. She glanced up, night had fallen. Celestia had insisted on staying in bed all day, and not worrying about solutions until morning. She had left briefly to end the day, drawing a crowd of onlookers as she stepped out onto Twilight's balcony to sing the sun into it's cradle.

Twilight leaned back, gingerly she stretched up to get a better look at Celestia as she slept, her mane flowing in graceful waves along the contours of the bed, and across her shoulder. A pang of sadness stabbed at her. In the morning it will all be different. One day she's my Princess, my ruler and mentor. Then briefly she, when I need her most, becomes my...mother? The question was one Twilight had asked a thousand times, yet she had no answer. The relationship between her and Celestia was forever confounding. She treats me as a student, warmly, yet distant. I know she cares, but the fear of her power is still there. I'm so confused. In all the years I've lived with her, I still don't fully understand. Twilight smiled, despite her confusion. She snuggled down. For as long as Celestia was in her exceedingly rare mother-mode, Twilight was determined to take advantage of it. I don't want to waste it!

Celestia giggled ever so slightly. Twilight froze. After a few seconds of intent listening she let out a careful breath. Celestia? No answer. Twilight put a hoof to Celestia's chest. Celestia, you aren't breathing. Obviously you are awake.

Awww...I was having fun! She shifted her head down so she could look at Twilight. So you refer to this as mother-mode?

Twilight turned beat red. I knew it! It's never safe to think around you!

Well, there's not much else to do, it just becomes habit. Reading thought's tends to be the only form of entertainment I have anymore. Do you have any idea how boring the royal routine becomes after two thousand years? Celestia tossed out a pouty lip, followed by an impish tongue.

Twilight pursed her lips, and glared back like a defiant child. "Mmmm..." She whined.

Celestia giggled, and hugged Twilight. "You make it so much fun!" Twilight took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, working up the nerve to ask a silly question. "Oh, it's not that silly Twilight. It's actually a very good question, and one I think you are entitled to an answer."

Twilight froze in embarrassment. Would you mind shutting off the mind reading? Please!?

Celestia giggled harder, but complied. Twilight could sense the shift in Celestia's magical aura. "That better?"

"Yes, much..." She hesitated. "So?"

Celestia paused, having to readjust to guessing at what a pony means rather than just reading their mind was more than a little shift. "I...well...uhm." Celestia looked confused. "Does it really need a label? You are my student. I want to be there for you. Though it does go beyond that. I really don't have a definition readily available for it."

Twilight cut in. "With such busy lives at the castle and so much responsibility it is nearly impossible to work on personal relationships. I remember. In all our years together I wonder if I have ever seen you form any new friendships, date, or grow closer to anypony." Twilight snapped out of her train of thought, her eyes picking up the hurt in Celestia's.

Celestia took a deep breath. "I never knew you cared about such things. Being buried in your books you always seemed rather cold to relationships in general."

Twilight smiled nervously. "Well, I didn't pursue relationships. However, I did notice when certain relationships around me were happening."

Celestia deadpanned at Twilight, but inwardly sighed with relief at the temporary distraction. "Really? You? The pony who didn't even notice her own brother was dating her foal sitter?"

"Hay! It's not like they were dating back when I lived at the castle..." Celestia's glare bit into Twilight. "They weren't! No way. I could not have missed that!" Twilight growled, giving way underneath Celestia's stare. "How long?"

"Five years."

"AW COME ON!"

Celestia burst out into laughter. Oh it feels good to just be able to laugh. Impulsively, she leaned down and nuzzled Twilight on the nose. "You are just so cute!"

Twilight stopped moving. Her brain churning. Celestia froze, realizing too late the implication of her action. Do I see Twilight as my daughter? Her eyes widened, Wait! Do I still see her as a little filly? The questions hit Celestia hard. In all her years of experience she had been through countless scenarios. Too many to remember. She tried in vain to recount any scenario to mind that would explain what just happened. The closest wisdom she could pull was over five hundred years old, no where near this exact scenario, and well faded from memory.

Twilight stared up at Celestia, her eyes wavering. "What is our relationship? Who am I to you?"

Awkwardly the two princesses stared at one another. Celestia feared the rise of hope in Twilight's eyes that she wasn't sure she could fulfill. "My little Light...does our relationship really need definition?" Even as she asked the question, considering who she was speaking to, she knew the answer. Perhaps, I have been careless... Suddenly, as anger boiled in Twilight's eyes, Celestia had the desire to return home, and deal with simpleton whiny politicians.

Spike busied himself with dusting off tombs, and bookshelves as he balanced on the library ladder. Flour snored on the couch behind him. Being a night worker having taken it's toll on the young guard as the day drug on. Twilight's friends had all left to attend to their lives. Spike sighed, deep in thought. What could cause Twilight to go into such an emotional overload like that? He shook his head. Magic aside, I just don't get it. Twilight is one of the most powerful magic users in all Equestria, how could she possibly be overtaken by a spell she deemed childs play?

Twilight's door slammed open. Spike forcefully snapped out of his reflections, and hugged the ladder as he nearly toppled off his precarious perch. Flour, flailing as he rolled off his makeshift bed, slammed face first into the floor.

"I am NOT being unreasonable! There is nothing wrong with needing definitive answers!" Twilight whined as she stumbled down the stairs.

Celestia's concerned and oddly apologetic tone caught both the eavesdroppers off guard. "I meant nothing of the sort. You are entitled to definitive answers. I believe I need more time before providing them."

Twilight spun around, facing off with Celestia who backpedaled up the stairs. "More time!? More time!? You've had my entire life to decide the meaning. Are you telling me you never put much thought into it? I thought about it every day! Every day as a foal, as a young filly, and as a teen! I still think about it! I finally get up the nerve to ask you and..." Twilight trailed off, tears streaming down her cheeks as she sniffled. "...and you need more time." Celestia backpedaled another step, the situation so foreign and emotionally charged it scrambled her wisdom. "I have devoted EVERYTHING to you. My childhood! My loyalty! My future..."

Her mind, recoiling from the emotional outburst, screamed for her to regain control of the situation. "Twilight! I am the ruler of Equestria! I have heard countless devote their lives to me, and in much more respectful tones! Tell me, then, Twilight Sparkle what am I to you? What definition would you have put to our relationship?" She doesn't have an answer. She's confused! I can diffuse the situation easily from this point, and calm her down. Celestia breathed an inward sigh of relief as Twilight hesitated. "It's, okay Twilight. I understand..."

"You understand?" Twilight cut her off. The anger in her eyes turning to bitter pain, a halting breath on her lips. "Do you understand that I am just Twilight? The definition of student? Do you understand that I would have accepted any other definition from you? Be it friend, or I dare hoped sister. Yet in absence of my family in all the cold night's I spent hiding from nightmares in your bed, the precious hours we spent reading together, tea on the veranda, meals we shared in the gardens, or the gestures of love you rarely let slip through. All of which defy my definition as student." She took a step forward, her cheeks soaked and matted as she met Celestia's gaze nose to nose. "I feared to say it my whole life, because I know who you are, and how important your position is, but despite it all, I would have called you mother."

Celestia's jaw dropped, unable to respond. I knew, this isn't surprising. I always knew. Her lip quivered. Talk! Apologize! Say something! She recoiled in silence, averting her eyes. I was complacent. I thought she would grow out of it. Yet I fueled her feeling by humoring her...no that's not right. I needed that contact as much as she did. I took that love, reveled in it, and gave just enough back to keep her satisfied without committing. Celestia winced at her inner monologue. Wisdom is...painful... She looked up to meet Twilight's sadness, but found a look of shock and horror. "Twilight?"

"Princess Celestia..." Her voice was haunted, and distant. "I am...so so sorry...I can't believe. I don't know what came over me."

Celestia felt the magic long before the flash. She lurched forward, trying to catch Twilight, but the teleportation spell had already whisked her away. "Twilight! No!" Celestia's muzzle wrinkled, her lips pulled back over her teeth in a pained grin. "Forgive me..." She whispered as the sensation of tears flowed down her nose to drip on the stairs. A sensation long forgotten, by an ancient jaded princess.

Twilight flashed into Scootaloo's hospital room with a zap. Nurse Redheart nearly jumping out of her fur. "Aiiee! Uhm Princess! I didn't know..."

Twilight cut her off. "Get out..."

"What? Are you feeling okay?" Nurse Redheart's ears fell flat, a concerned look in her eyes. "Are you doing better? This morning..." The nurse stammered confusedly.

"Please...get out. Leave us alone." Twilight looked up, her face matted and puffy from crying. Her ears hung limply to the sides. Nurse Redheart nodded, and backed out the door. Twilight could hear her racing down the hall. She could guess, but didn't care to know why. The only certainty was that she had a few minutes at best before many ponies, and most likely the princess would come disturbing her.

Scootaloo lay unconscious in her coma. A pang squeezed at Twilight's chest. Dash's emotions welled up inside as she gritted her teeth. The urge to hold Scootaloo, to love and protect her. To be there for her every day cherishing every moment. "Hey Scootaloo." She put a hoof over the filly's. "I think I understand now." She sniffled, wiping the tears away with her foreleg. "All those feelings that Dash has for you. All that love." Tears defiantly streamed down her cheeks pooling on the floor. "That feeling she has where she just want's to hold you..." Her voice cracked as her throat constricted. "...and nuzzle your mane..." She squeaked. "...and be there every day to see your smile." She sobbed, panting through the exhausting emotions searing through her chest. "Cherish them. Cherish that love. Hold onto it and never let it go!" Her legs crumpled as she fell over Scootaloo, screaming into the bed as the sobs wracked through her. "Please!" She cried out desperately. "Cherish it for me!"

Abandonment Issues...

Celestia took a deep breath, quickly regaining her composure. I need to get a hold of myself. She wiped the tears away. I knew I failed to keep the distance. This was destined to happen sooner or later. She rubbed a hoof against her temple, fighting off a worried jitter that was quickly building pressure behind her eyes. She glanced down the steps, Spike and Flour were staring up at her. Flour cleared his throat uncomfortably, turned and swiftly plodded to the door. He stepped outside, giving the princess privacy while awaiting orders. Celestia took the moment to craft a number of spells swiftly, putting them covertly into action. Spike bounded up the steps.

"Princess? I don't get it..." Spike, never one to beat around the bush, got straight to the point. "You are motherly towards everypony. It's part of your personality. Why would Twilight single out your motherly attitude towards her?"

Celestia sighed. "I am motherly towards all ponies, Spike. You are right, it's part of my personality. Therein lies the problem." Her eyes glanced down, exploring Spikes feet for a moment. "She wants me to define what makes my motherly attitude towards her special."

"Why would she need a definition? Can't she just be happy you love her?" Spike's scaley brow furrowed. "I don't like this. I have a feeling that soul seeing spell is really affecting her brain."

Twilight breathed heavily, her body quickly falling victim to fatigue from the exhaustive crying and barrage of emotions. It hurts Scootaloo. She gazed over Scootaloo's features, studying the soft and peaceful lines of sleeping filly innocence. How did you manage? How did you do it? How did you handle all the pain, and keep smiling? How do you act so tough? Twilight marveled at the frailty of the tiny foal she held in her forelegs.

Her study was rudely interrupted by the clopping of hooffalls down the hall. She looked up at the open door with a snarl. Nurse Redheart and two guards rounded a corner, the three making eye contact with the furious princess holding Scootaloo hostage, and ground to a halt just outside the door. Twilight glared at them as one of the guards bravely advanced into the room, memories of friendly conversations with Twilight only days before spurring him forward. Memories that wavered as he was enveloped by a purple aura, and slid firmly backwards. He fell to his knees in nervous shock, the gentle warning hitting home for all three of the intruders. They were not welcome in that room. The door glowed, pulsated, and shut with an audible click.

Nurse Redheart called through the door. "P-P-Princess T-Twilight? Uhm...I am concerned for your well being, and think it best if you let us examine..." She was cut off by the door suddenly sprouting gnarled wooden spikes in response to her please. "Understood, Princess! You won't be bothered further!" The three backed up nervously, fearing the prickly door may suddenly attack.

Nurse Redheart turned to the guards with a whispered urgency. "Get Princess Celestia. Now!" The two guards bolted down the hall. It was no secret that Celestia was at the library. It was also no secret that Princess Twilight had been declared a possible danger to Equestria, and was under Celestia's personal care until proven otherwise.

Twilight's attention turned back to Scootaloo. Even as she hugged the sleeping filly gently, the logic in her brain questioned if she was hugging herself as a filly. The thought enraged her, she clenched her teeth in disgust. I'm not this weak! However, her forelegs refusing to unwrap the filly, argued otherwise.

"No Spike, It's not the spells fault. It faded long ago. I spent all day scanning her while she slept. I picked through every corner of her brain, and while Rainbow Dash's memories and feelings, however sweet they are, are still implanted firmly in her mind. Yet, they are but a catalyst. The trauma from her foalhood is the real cause."

Spike scratched his head. "What trauma? Twilight didn't go through any trauma. I grew up with her, I should know..."

Celestia frowned, her eyes intense. "It was very subtle Spike. The day Twilight left her family she was overjoyed to come to the castle, and to be my student. Think about it my dear Spike, how would you feel if you had to leave Twilight, and go far away for twelve years of schooling?" She moved passed Spike and down the stairs.

"I would be sad, but Twilight was happy right? You just said so." Spike turned to follow.

"Yes. She was happy. So happy she repressed the sadness that a small foal feels when torn away from their family. I recognized it immediately, and I was prepared to provide her with all the love I had. However, I tried to keep the distance as well. I did not want to replace her mother, or overshadow the love she felt for her family. Yet, as the years passed, she became increasingly attached to me..." Celestia hesitated, mulling over the confession, but knew Spike deserved to know. "...and I became overly attached to her." She sighed. "And now she is trying to come to terms with living her entire foalhood away from her parents, by defining the true meaning in our relationship."

Twilight's tears streamed down her nose, across Scootaloo's cheeks, and pattered into the growing stain of wetness spreading across the sheets. Mom, and Dad couldn't be there. I understood. How could they just pick up and leave their lives behind? They both had friends, and family back home. Moving to Canterlot is a lot to ask. They had careers, and a home, and...they abandoned me for all of it! Her breathing bellowed raggedly through her snout. No! They had Shining Armor to take care of as well. The world does not revolve around me! Her lips curled into a snarl. I am their filly! Their lives should have revolved around me! I should have been everything to them! A staccato whimper of pain escaped her. She breathed in sharply and held her breath, fighting the emotions back as they assaulted her chest.

I never even noticed until now. I never knew you could feel like this about somepony! Twilight recalled Dash's emotions for Scootaloo painfully. My parents don't love me this way...or else they would have followed me. They would have been there! I can't even get Celestia to love me this way... Twilight stared hard at Scootaloo's features again, reveling in the beauty of every precious curve. Dash's love for Scootaloo coursed through her, bringing with it the desire to be there every day of Scootaloo's life. To hold and comfort her. To teach and nurture her. To listen to even the most mundane conversations and cherish every smile. Twilight fought the urge to scream.

Spike scratched his head with a claw. "But, what about Shining Armor and Princess Cadence? They were there for her on and off through most of it."

Celestia halted, looking back at Spike, more than a little surprised by the question. Right, of course, Spike never knew his parents. I am his mother, and Twilight is his sister. She turned, reached out, and pulled Spike into a hug. "Tell me Spike. Do the hugs between Twilight and myself feel the same?"

Spike blushed, but nuzzled into the hug. "Well, they are close, but yours are warmer and way less embarrassing, as long as nopony's looking."

Celestia giggled. "Spike I love your unwavering honesty." She nuzzled him on the nose. "Never change my fierce little dragon."

"Aww cut it out! Now you're just dodging the question." Spike's teasing rang true to Celestia.

"Oh, its like that is it?" She darted her hooves around the softer points of his scales. "Revenge!" Spike laughed and squirmed as Celestia tickled him, and ruffed up his spikes.

"Sorry!" Spike guffawed, gasping for breath, but leaned into the tickles happily. "Sorry! I'm sorry! Please!"

"Hmmm... Well I suppose you've learned your lesson." Celestia backed off with a grin as she continued. "Have you seen how attached Twilight is to her brother? Her need for a father figure transferred to him. As for Cadence, I expect you to answer your own question concerning her. Why wouldn't Cadence satisfy Twilight's need for a motherly connection?"

Spike thought hard. "Well, Cadence didn't show up until a couple years after Twilight moved in right? You and Twilight must have already become too close by then." Spike thought back to the hugs and memories Twilight had given him over the years. "So, I would guess while you were still around, Cadence could never actually fulfill Twilight's need for a mother. Knowing Twilight, she defined Cadence as a sister."

"Correct! Now how did you come to that decision?" Celestia giggled, having already guessed Spikes thought process, she half chided herself for fishing for love so blatantly.

Spike never one to disappoint, simply stated exactly what was on his mind. "Well I don't know about Twilight really, she knew her mother, but for me, nopony could ever replace you."

Celestia blushed slightly, a happy smile on her lips as she leaned down to kiss Spike gently on the cheek. "I love you too Spike, and it brings me joy being your mother."

Spike blushed, and stared down at the floor, a sheepish half smile spread on his lips as he played with the tip of his tail. "Awww..." He glanced around to make sure nopony was around, a habit picked up back at the castle. "Thanks, Mom." Celestia pulled him into squishy hug and nuzzled his neck happily. "Now, if you could just commit to Twilight like you did me. You know, since you and Twilight have already gone too far and gotten overly attached to each other. Maybe you could fix this whole problem."

"Scootaloo, you and Dash taught me this love. But now that I don't have it with anypony, what am I supposed to do without it in my life!?" She shook Scootaloo gently, sobbing uncontrollably. "Wake up..." Why wouldn't Celestia just say it! Why won't she be my mother! Twilight growled angrily through the sobs. Because I still have a mother? Because despite all of it, I still love her? Even though when I missed them most they sent my brother to take their place? The last thought hit Twilight hard. The day Shining Armor had shown up at the castle, was the day he became the hero of her heart, rescuing her from the pain of her missing family. I was so happy...like a fool...I was desperate, willing to accept any substitute...even now I would have accepted Celestia's love as just sisterly. "I'm such a fool..."

Celestia froze, her eyes widened as reality shockingly came flooding back. Her wings jittered nervously. "Spike, I can't do that!" She backed off, meeting Spikes inquisitive gaze. "She has a mother, and Twilight loves her dearly. To label it as such would be undermining her real mothers connection to her daughter."

"Maybe you are overthinking it a little too much?" Spike raised a brow. "I don't think Twilight's mom would mind if Twilight referred to you as mother."

"Spike, I would mind. I would carry the title of Twilight's mother for the rest of our lives. How long do you think Twilight's real mother will live on this planet? Thirty, maybe fifty more years at best? I would be Twilight's mother for thousands of years, eventually I would completely overshadow her real mother. How could I live with myself?" Celestia cringed at the thought, marking it mentally as an act of loathsome malevolence.

"Wow, I see your point." Spike frowned. "Why not just call her sister then?"

Celestia sighed, long and deep as she subconsciously pulled Spike in for another hug. "Because sister doesn't cover all of my feelings." She sniffled, followed by another sigh. "The definition of mother comes with emotions attached to it because ponies can think back and relate to their own emotional experiences with their mothers. Twilight is asking me to attach my emotions to a definition. In all my years, in all the languages I have learned, words still fail to translate emotions directly. Because mother is taken, and all other definitions pale in comparison, any definition I can come up with will be emotionally lacking."

Spike pulled away, much to Celestia's disappointment, and stated the obvious. "For now we should begin searching for Twilight. That is first on the list. Next, we need to calm her down, and talk some sense into her." Spike furrowed his scaley brow. "Where could she have gone?"

Celestia took a deep breath, and pointed in a seemingly random direction. "She teleported in this direction. About six blocks. She's in a large building. She has yet to move since teleporting, and is apparently alone..." She concentrated for a second. "...no, there is another. A very faint presence. Perhaps she is in a room with a sleeping...foal?"

"Scootaloo!" Spike exclaimed. "Twilight must be at the hospital!" Spike turned for the door, however Celestia halted him with a hoof and a shake of her head. "What? Twilight needs us, shouldn't we go to her?"

"No Spike, give her time." Give me time... "We must be patient, and think this through. My impulsive plan up till now has already complicated matters far worse than they need to be. I should have put more thought into it. I knew she was unstable, that magic was involved, and it was easy to guess that foreign memories and emotions had been introduced into her psyche per the dangers of the spell I sent her. Yet instead of proceeding with caution I brashly scolded her in a letter, then contradicted the tone I set for our meeting by overwhelming her with love and attention."

"What? You actually planned that? Why?" Spike stared at Celestia, not quite comprehending her logic.

"Because Spike." Celestia met his stare straight on. "I declared her to be a danger to Equestria, and despite my feelings for Twilight, she is now an alicorn, one of the most powerful pony's to walk our planet." She looked up, in Twilight's distant direction. "Should she go rogue, it could quickly turn disastrous! I had to offset her mind, and scramble her ability to think clearly before she could detect my intrusive scanning spells. I set her off guard, after I realised the severity of the situation I quickly blocked out the memory of the letter, isolated her ability to detect the spells I was casting, and secretly put her to sleep during the scan."

Spike blanched in shock as he backpedaled a step. "Wha...ah." His jaw worked in twitchy time with his stuttering. Mom! That's terrifying! "I...I understand...it was necessary" He looked down, tears welling up in his eyes. "Twilight won't go rogue." He said weakly, remembering the incident from the previous night. He gritted his teeth, his fists clenching in determination. "We won't let her. Can't you rip out Rainbow Dash's memories like you did the letter?"

Celestia clenched her teeth. "Unfortunately, I couldn't remove Rainbow Dash's memories. The feelings attached were too intense, and the memory already too ingrained to be pulled out. I would have only damaged her further." Celestia stomped at the floor. "I'm making things worse. With all my power, and knowledge...I feel so useless right now. It's the same as when Luna went over the edge, and descended into madness..." Her voice lowered hauntingly as her gaze slipped to the floor. "...to be overtaken by her magic." A darkness fell over the princesses eyes, her muzzle pulled back, her teeth glaring menacingly. "I failed my sister." Her mane whipped about as she strode for the door. "I. Will. Not. Fail. Twilight."

Twilight shook Scootaloo, the filly's head lolling around in the crook of her foreleg. "Wake up! Please!" I do still love my mother. I could never hate her. She had circumstances, both my parents did...but I still want to be loved like this! I knew I was missing something my whole childhood. I craved it. Even, with Mr. Smarty Pants... Memories of holding Mr. Smarty Pants to fight off 'his' loneliness swarmed unbidden into her mind. She bounced Scootaloo in her forelegs. "WAKE UP! Tell me how you did it? How did you get Dash to love you!" Did nopony see? Did nopony notice my misery? Did nopony care? She sniffled, sobbed, and growled angrily. Celestia cared! I know she did...she does...but I need to hear it. I need to confirm it, and now when I need her most she pushed me away! She squeezed the sleeping filly tight to her chest and screamed, "Wake up and tell me!!" She sobbed, a pleading whisper on her hissing breath. "Please..."

"Spike, prepare to take a letter." Celestia commanded smoothly. "We have preparations to make. Twilight's next move is most likely to run. She is going to want me to chase her to prove my love."

Spike gasped. "Isn't that a little...uhm...childish for Twilight?"

Celestia sighed. "Spike, Twilight is very mature for her age in that she can handle difficult and dangerous situations with calm collective analysis, and bravely take action to protect everything she loves. She has mastered friendship, and her intelligence and magical abilities are at alicorn level. However, inside she is still a little filly who obsesses over pleasing me to garner my attention, approval, and acceptance." She leveled a glare at Spike, though the intensity of her gaze was tempered with self loathing. "And I just abandoned her feelings like a young confused filly. She was searching me for an intensity of feelings that I can't readily express on command, and I caused her intense emotional pain. She will run from that pain." Her tone tinged with sadness. "She will run from me."

"But, why not go to her now then? She's only a little..."

Celestia cut him off. "Because she has to run first. She won't listen to me right now. The pain is too fresh. I have to let the chase build up. For now she is too mad at me, but eventually those feelings will turn to sadness that I haven't caught her, and thoughts that I have given up or stopped caring." Celestia's look hardened. Her tactical mind churning. "At that exact moment, when her barriers and misdirections begin to crack ever so slightly and waver. That is when I need to reach her. I must shatter through every barrier she throws at me, conquer every last puzzle and misdirection. Only then will my feelings truly reach her." She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "And, only then will we both find our definition." Celestia turned with finality from a dumbfounded Spike, and threw open the library door.

Flour stood outside the library, waiting anxiously. I'm just an L.T. He thought nervously. I just left officer training...I'm not prepared for this! Being alone with the princess! He rubbed a hoof on his forehead, trying to force himself to think through the situation. My job says to keep my mouth shut and take orders from superiors, and give orders to lower ranks. Simple... He huffed, trying to mentally reorganize his brain to stick to his training. But the princess was crying... He shivered. I never imagined... His breathing picked up to a near panic. Princess or not. I can't just stand by while somepony is suffering!

He chewed at his lip, mentally slapping himself. 'Keep it simple stupid! Don't think unless you're told to! Never address the princess' first, and speak only when spoken to! The princess will treat you with respect, and affection...DO NOT LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD!' His drill sergeant's voice boomed in his mind. "Don't do anything foolish!" He mumbled to himself. "Keep the distance." But...what if she needs help...or somepony to just listen...and she's in pain, she was crying! A dizzy set in his head and a quease assaulted his stomach. Princess Celestia is too kind to suffer! He blanched mentally as the morning's memories flooded back. Well most of the time... He blushed, and smiled. It had been awkward moments, but a warm giddiness flooded through at the thought that the princess had singled him out for teasing. I'm lucky just to be near her, and doubly to even be addressed in such an informal manner, regardless of whether she was teasing or not. He paced worriedly, re-railing his thought process back on topic. I have to do something...but what can I do?!

The door to the library slammed open. "Flour!"

Flour nearly jumped out of his skin as he spun around with a salute. "Yes P-P-Princess!"

Celestia leveled on him, and barked out her orders. "If you want to help out that bad then get in the kitchen and make some food, soldier! I'm starving..." She turned to the side and winked at him, her voice falling soft and flirtatious. "...and it would make me feel better."

Flour froze, his thoughts shattering in an instant. He attempted to organize the pieces, to place them back together, but failed miserably. His only answer to the highest superiors orders in all Equestria, was to nod dumbly.

Twilight wiped the tears from her eyes, and set Scootaloo gingerly down onto the bed as it became apparent that the filly wasn't going to snap out of her coma on command. The sadness suddenly ebbed out of Twilight leaving behind a hollow ache in her gut. Her look grew cold, calculating, and intense as she glared down at the sleeping filly. I don't need these feelings. They bring me nothing but pain, and misery. She glanced out the window, her eyes settling on the library tree. I need to find a reversal spell of some kind, or perhaps a method of erasing memories. Twilight chewed her lip nervously. I can't face Celestia, not after what I did. Not yet. A chain of spells formed in her mind. This will be difficult, and I will have to do it fast with exact precision.

Inquisitive moans and whispers of the dead assaulted Twilight and echoed across the room as she tore a tiny hole into the ethereal veil. Wisps of white swirled around her, the air crackled and twisted with waves of distortion as ether flowed across the veil into the room, gathered into whirling vortexes centered on Twilight's eyes, and absorbed into her pupils. As the spell finished, and the angry inquisition's of the dead subsided, the room fell silent and dark. Save for the unearthly green tinged glow in Twilight's eyes from the soul seeing spell which flickered eerily as she manipulated magic in her mind, and hastily prepared her next spells.

I have to move fast before Celestia comes for me. I have to fix this mess somehow, and I need that book! Twilight grinned mischievously. Well this is going to make Mom mad...both of them...but I don't have time. If Celestia saw fit to come and care for me herself, then the situation is worse than I thought. I need to run, and hide until I can figure out how to fix this. I can't trust myself, so I need to get away from my friends before I hurt them. However, I will need help in this endeavor, it's time to summon the creator of the spirit book...Star Swirl. Twilight felt giddy at the thought as she cast the next spell in the que. With a flash the room stood empty, leaving an eerie maniacal giggle reverberating off the walls.