I plunked myself down at the usual table. Fiddleblossom was already there, but at least I'd managed to beat Nemmie. On a sunny afternoon, this outdoor cafe was the nicest place in Ponyville, and today was a sunny afternoon. I'd made sure of that. It's good to be a weather pony.
Fiddleblossom nodded at me. “Sundrop.”
“Hey, you,” I said. “How's the harvest?”
Fiddleblossom smiled—well, not a smile exactly, but you could see it in her eyes, if you knew her. “It's good. There's a lot of work to do.”
The waiter came by with our drinks. We didn't have to order; we got the same thing every time we came here, which was every Friday since forever. For me, rum punch in an oversized tumbler with a paper umbrella. For Fiddleblossom, white wine in a long-stemmed glass. For Nemmie, a bubbling green concoction in a chalice of blackest onyx, blacker than the very night itself.
“Busy, huh?” I said, taking a sip. Sweet and smooth, with a kick like a mule. “You call in some hired hooves?”
“Some.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That include the Apple guy? The big one, with the eyes?”
“Macintosh.” She smiled.
“Yeah, him! Are you gonna make your move, or what?”
There was the clink of rusted chainmail as Nemmie took his seat beside us. “Honestly, Sundrop,” he rumbled. “You keep talking about this pony. Perhaps you should go after him.” His voice was like stone grinding against stone, perhaps the portal to an ancient tomb as it was forced open by something long forgotten.
“Nuh-uh,” I said. “I've sworn off men, after last time. Besides, Fiddleblossom would never forgive me.” I looked to her. “Isn't that right?”
She just smirked and sipped her wine.
That was as much of an answer as I was going to get. I moved on. “How about you, Nemmie? Any luck with that vampire queen of yours?”
He slumped. “I don't want to talk about it.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That bad?”
“Worse.”
“Aw, Nemmie.” I rested a hoof on his shoulder, or at least his pauldron, a spiked thing of blood-red steel. “I told you she was bad news. Girls like that will just lead you on and suck out your life-essence.”
“She was different!” he said. “We had something! But then Celestia cast her into the Tenebrous Nether. I won't see her again until the stars align.”
Even Fiddleblossom winced at that. “Aw, Nemmie,” I said again.
He stared into his sulfurous drink, toying idly with the chalice.
“Nemesis,” said Fiddleblossom. “What about your Spirit-Link Orb? Maybe you can stay in touch with her that way.”
He shook his head. “You know how much I hate long-distance relationships. It'd be Nightmare Moon all over again. I can't do it.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Sometimes work just pulls you apart. You gotta know when to let go.”
All was silent, save for the quiet sounds of the town and a faint otherworldly keening, like the echo of a long-dead scream, from somewhere inside Nemmie's cloak.
“I know!” I said. “What you need is a good cheering up. I'll ask Pinkie Pie to throw one of her parties.”
“Sundrop!” said Fiddleblossom. “Bad idea. Elements of Harmony.”
I blushed. “Right! Right. Sorry. Forgot.”
“It's fine.” Nemmie waved a hoof. “I'm not in the mood for something that big, anyway.”
“Oh!” I perked up. “We'll keep it small, then. Us, Shoeshine, Maisy May, Lord Doomwing, and Caramel.”
Fiddleblossom wrinkled her nose. “Not Maisy. She'll bring her boyfriend, and you know what he's like.”
“Alright, not Maisy. Just the six of us. Sound like fun?”
“I suppose,” said Nemmie.
“Good! My place at nine.”
Someone was shaking me. I was in no condition to regain consciousness. I mumbled something without any vowels and curled up tighter.
“Sundrop.” Fiddleblossom's voice was soft, but still plenty to make my head throb. She shook me again. “Sundrop, visitors.”
I forced myself upright and stood there, blinking. At least I was in my own bedroom. Fiddleblossom pulled back the curtains. It was almost noon. The light hurt my eyes. Fiddleblossom had made it through the night unscathed, of course. She nudged me towards the door.
The house looked how I felt. My friends slept sprawled across couches and chairs. Drinks and snacks covered every flat surface. Somehow we had acquired a very large tub of jelly.
There was a knock at the door.
I pulled it open. “Hello,” I said, although it came out more like “Gh.”
Before me stood Her Royal Highness Twilight Sparkle, Princess of the Realm, Savior of Equestria, The Spark of Friendship, &c &c. On her brow shone the Element of Magic, roiling with power such that even I could feel it straining against the confines of its prism, straining to escape, straining to lash out at all that was not good and pure. Behind her were arrayed her companions, heroes surpassing any the world had yet known, likewise bearing artifacts of unfathomable potency.
“Gh,” I said again, and meant it.
“Excuse me,” said the embodiment of ponykind's hopes and dreams. “I'm looking for a pony named Nemesis. He fled after Celestia vanquished the vampire queen.” She tapped her forehooves together. “My tracking spell led here.”
Pinkie Pie poked her head forward. “Is there a super-duper evil villain in your house?”
“Uh,” I said. I glanced behind me, racking my brains for some sort of clever ruse. “Maybe.” It was the best I could do, under the circumstances.
Twilight Sparkle stepped forth and followed my gaze. Nemesis was draped across a sofa, a coffee table, and the floor. Cocktail sauce stained his gorget. Someone had drawn something uncouth on his face.
The living goddess looked from me to Nemesis and back. Her mouth worked soundlessly.
“Well?” came a voice from outside. It was Rainbow Dash, who was Loyalty incarnate, and Equestria's Best Young Flyer besides. Also, incidentally, my supervisor on the weather team. “What's going on?”
Twilight Sparkle cleared her throat. “Maybe we should come back later.”
“Fools!” roared Nemesis, his tenebrous cloak billowing behind him. “You thought you could defeat me? I am Nemesis, and your friendship is nothing against my hate!”
I pushed against the slime that engulfed me, but it didn’t budge. The showdown had gone against Nemmie at first, but then he conjured those balls of clinging goo. They caught everyone in the town square; the Elements of Harmony were stuck, of course, along with me and the rest of the spectators. Twilight Sparkle had magicked herself free, but now three of Nemmie’s terrordactyls battered at the floating shield sphere she’d conjured about herself, and she didn’t look like she could hold out much longer. The other five heroes were held fast by the slime.
I was just as stuck. My head and neck were free, as was the tip of my left wing, but other than that I couldn’t move a muscle.
Nemesis glanced my way, and I flashed him an encouraging grin. I wasn’t sure what heroic last-ditch effort would turn the tide, but however he was thwarted, he’d be able to say that he’d gone horn to horn with Harmony itself and fared no worse than Discord. He’d worked so hard for this. I was so proud my heart felt like it would burst from my chest. Or maybe it was just the slime’s crushing pressure.
“You can do it, Twi!” said Applejack, speaking with the weight of Honesty. “I believe in you!”
“You’re right!” said Twilight Sparkle. “As long as—”
The shield sphere gave way, shattering into a thousand thousand shards as the largest terrordactyl plowed through the weakened magic and slammed the Princess of Friendship to earth. The others swooped down and held her fast. She struggled to her hooves, sending the terrordactyls sprawling with an explosion of eldritch power. Then Nemesis blasted her with crackling negenergy from his crown, and she went down in a heap.
“Hah!” Nemesis cried. He glanced around at his vanquished foes. “Hah,” he said again, a bit less forcefully.
He teleported to where Fiddleblossom and I were stuck, appearing with a puff of noxious smoke. “Girls!” he said, all but bouncing up and down in his spiked armor. “Girls, I did it!”
“Amazing!” I said. “You earned it, Nemmie.”
“Now what?” said Fiddleblossom.
“Now what?” he echoed. “I just defeated the Elements of Harmony! What do you mean, now what?”
“I mean,” she said, “now what?”
“Oh!” he said. “Smoldering stones! Now what? I wasn’t really expecting to, well, you know…”
“Win?” said Fiddleblossom.
“Yeah,” said Nemmie. “That.”
“Maybe you could explain your evil plot?” I said. “I mean, since you have them helpless. Tradition, and all.”
“I’m, uh. I’m a bit between plots just now.”
“Oh,” I said. “Huh. So what do you usually do after you explain your plot?”
“Right!” He perked up. “MINIONS!” he bellowed. “I want these would-be heroes out of my sight! Imprison the fools for all time!”
“Yes, sire,” said the big terrordactyl. “Where, sire?”
“Oh horseshoes,” he said softly. He glanced back to us. “Where do I put them?”
I blinked. “You don’t have a dungeon or something?”
“You know I’ve been staying with my aunt.”
I shrugged, or would’ve, except for the slime. “Well, then.”
“Horseshoes,” he said. Then, “MINIONS! Seal the fools in my aunt’s basement!”
The Elements glanced at each other. “Seriously?” said Rainbow Dash.
“Now, Rainbow,” said Rarity. “If that’s what Mister Nemesis has available, then we’ll just have to make do.”
“Nemmie,” said Fiddleblossom, “what about that portal thing you picked up in the Undercaverns?”
“The Hopeless Gate?” I said. “It’s not exactly a prison, though, is it?”
“Well,” said Nemmie, “it’s better than my aunt’s, at least. MINIONS! Cast the fools through the Hopeless Gate, that they may languish in the Realm of Despair!”
“Aw yeah!” said Rainbow Dash, as the terrordactyls carried her away. “Now that’s more like it!”
“So what’s your next big move?” I asked, once they were gone.
“Um,” said Nemmie.
“I mean, you’ve beaten one princess,” I said. “The traditional thing would be to challenge Luna or Celestia, right?”
“Or both,” said Fiddleblossom.
“Both?” Nemmie turned pale. “No. No no no.” He took a step back. “Maybe I could challenge Cadence instead. That’d work, right? She’s a princess too.”
I frowned. “I dunno. The sisters will probably be coming anyway, yeah? I mean, you captured Princess Twilight.”
Fiddleblossom nodded. “Cadence would be a step down from this. You’ve got to keep your momentum.”
“Okay,” said Nemmie. “Momentum is good. But… the princess sisters? Against me?”
“Hey, you just beat the Elements of Harmony,” I said. “Give yourself some credit.”
“So, what, I just show up at the gates of Canterlot and demand they face me?”
“Oh! Yeah!” I said. “And, like, get some thunderclouds behind you! And you can be all, ‘Your time has come, you sniveling cur!’ It’ll be awesome.”
“It would make a statement,” said Fiddleblossom.
“No, wait!” I said. “What you say is, ‘The time of reckoning is nigh!’ Imagine their faces!”
“Okay,” he said. “Okay. Time of reckoning. Okay. Here goes.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Okay.” He teleported away, leaving behind a cloud of greenish smoke.
I blinked furiously against the smoke, which stung the eyes like a thousand molten needles. “You think he’ll pull it off?”
“No,” said Fiddleblossom. “But it’s a good way to go out. I bet they seal him for a thousand years.”
“He always wanted to be sealed,” I said. “They don’t do that for just anybody.”
We shared a companionable silence.
“Sundrop?” Fiddleblossom said at last.
“Hm?”
“Before he left, we should’ve asked him to get rid of the slime.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Probably.”
