Busting Boasts

Chapters

Patronizing Performance
Maddening Mages
Unbalanced Ursa
Lifesaving Lullaby
Peaceful Parting
Musical Medley

Patronizing Performance

Trixie took off her hat and bowed deeply. “Trixie had no idea such a distinguished peer of hers was residing in this quaint little town. What a pleasant surprise.”

“I did not know you were traveling this way,” said Octavia. She tried -- and almost succeeded -- in keeping tension from her voice. “I had thought you were still touring the Manehattan districts.”

“Oh, Trixie was, but she couldn’t just stay in one city forever, could she?” Trixie grinned. “Not when there are whole cities that have yet to experience the joy, the wonder, the magnificence and the magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

“What about the ego?” murmured Medley. Fluttershy frowned at her.

“Anyways,” continued Trixie. “Trixie is putting on a little show tonight, and requires musical accompaniment. She has been told that you’re the mare to see, Vinyl?”

Vinyl hesitated. “Uh. Tonight? I kind of need more notice than that.”

Trixie smiled winningly. “Trixie is certain you can make an exception.”

Vinyl still said nothing, and Octavia looked back at the others. She could guess what they were thinking -- Vinyl was overworked as it was, and it was not only disrespectful of Trixie to demand music so late but likely impossible for Vinyl to provide it. Medley spoke first: “We’re all musicians, Trixie. Why don’t one of us play instead? We--”

“Oh, Trixie is sure you are,” said Trixie. “But she require the freshest, the newest, and the most popular performances for her shows. She wants everypony for miles around to love it! And that requires... none other than the famed DJ PON3.” She turned back to Vinyl. “What do you say?”

“... I can do it,” said Vinyl, at last. She was frowning slightly, but her voice was steady and determined.

“Vinyl!” hissed Medley. “You don’t need to say yes just because she’s some fancy noble--”

“But there’s a surcharge for the late notice,” added Vinyl. “And you need to get me the details -- like, now. DJ PON3 has to get set up ASAP.”

“Money won’t be an issue,” said Trixie. “SPIKE! Get over here!”

From around the house a purple-and-green dragon hurried over. “Aw, what’s going on, Trixie? I was having fun. There’s this orange foal who wanted me to set fire to some obstacles on her scooter course--”

“Not now.” Trixie levitated a quill and parchment out of her hat, and scribbled a quick message. “Send this, Spike.”

“Alright, fine.”

Fluttershy gasped. “What an adorable little dragon! Wherever did you meet him?”

“Trixie's parents got him for her tenth birthday.” Trixie’s eyes twinkled. “Isn’t he the most amazing assistant to be found anywhere? And a huge hit with the foals.”

“If you really want to express your appreciation,” said Spike, “I accept tummy rubs, gems--”

“Spike. Letter.”

“Oh, right.” Spike blew green fire onto the parchment, which vanished in a flash. “Message sent, boss!”

“The money will be coming shortly,” said Trixie.

“What... did you just do?” asked Vinyl.

“Sent a letter. Spike here can teleport mail to another pony for me.”

“Your family?” asked Fluttershy.

“My bank manager.” She beamed. “Anyway, Trixe hopes you’ll all be attending her show. Ponies always love them.”

“What exactly will you be showing?” asked Medley.

“Oh, a little magic, a little music, a little sleight-of-hoof. Octavia can tell you all about them.” Trixie grinned. “Remember that show Trixie did in Chenneigh, Octavia? Wasn’t that something? Must have been twenty thousand ponies cheering by the end of it.”

Octavia realized that she was gripping the doorframe hard enough to leave little indentations. “You are a very talented entertainer,” she managed.

“Well--”

Spike coughed a few times, and then belched up a small leather pouch. “Ugh... I hope you asked for a lot of money this time. I don't want to have to do that for a while.”

“Just enough.” Trixie opened the bag and floated a few platinum bits out to Vinyl. "Trixie believes this covers everything?”

Vinyl stared at the large numbers on the platinum coins. So did Medley, whose mouth dropped slightly. Even Fluttershy looked stunned. Vinyl spoke first. “Uh. Yes. Yes it does. Where’s the show?”

“Town square, sundown. Bring your A-game.” She began to trot off with Spike. “See you there! It’ll be a night the town will remember forever!”

***

Vinyl had to immediately begin setting up for the show, so the jam session was cut short. Lost in her own thoughts, Octavia began to walk home.

“Hey.”

The cellist turned to see Medley and Fluttershy pursuing her. “Yes?” asked Octavia.

The two looked at each other, and Fluttershy spoke first. “Um, you seemed kind of... upset at Trixie. Did she do something to you?”

“No.”

She turned, but Medley flew to her other side. “Okay, is there something else we should know?”

Octavia hesitated.

“Octavia.” Medley frowned. “We’re your friends, remember? Talk to us.”

Fluttershy trotted over and nuzzled Octavia slightly. “We’ll always give a friendly ear,” she said.

Octavia sighed. “It is...”

The two waited expectantly.

“I admit it. I am jealous of her.”

Medley frowned. “Jealous... of that jerk? I’ve known her for five minutes and already I can’t stand her.”

Octavia shook her head. “You have not seen her shows. I did, when she toured in Chenneigh. Thousands upon thousands of ponies, all cheering that they loved her and were her friends.”

She was silent for a moment before continuing. “I have been struggling to learn even the basics of friendship. Even now, more than a month after we obtained the Elements, I still err. I was late for our session today; I completely forgot about the work I am doing with Miss Cheerilee in favor of my own studies; I failed to pay attention to Vinyl’s comments. But Trixie understands it effortlessly. All across the nation, she is a pony everypony loves.”

“You’re a good friend,” said Fluttershy. “Even if you make mistakes sometimes.”

“Yeah. We’ll let you know if you aren’t,” said Medley. She smiled, and there was a fair amount of tooth in it. “Trust me, we’ll let you know.”

Octavia smiled slightly at that. “Thank you... but it is still embarrassing to me. I can barely fulfill my duties to the few friends I have, and hers number in the tens of thousands. Even Vinyl -- we all know how busy she is, but Trixie charmed her into taking on this extra job at the very last moment."

"Or bribed her," said Medley.

Octavia shook her head. "Trixie knows how to befriend ponies.”

“You should go to her show,” said Fluttershy. "I know you don't want to, but you should go anyway."

Octavia blinked. “I... I had not said that I did not want to.”

Fluttershy smiled knowingly. “Octavia...”

“I had not decided if I would attend!” said Octavia, blushing. “Honestly!”

“Well, decide.” Medley nodded. “If you think she knows something you don’t, go there and see what she does. And we’ll be there, so if she’s cheating or making stuff up, we can help you spot it.”

Octavia hesitated for another moment. “Alright. I will attend.”

“Awesome.” Medley grinned. “Now... dunno about you, but even if Vinyl’s busy I’d still like to practice something today. What say we head to the park and try a trio of birds, strings, and aeolian harp?”

“Yay!” said Fluttershy. “That sounds fun!”

Octavia smiled and nodded. “I would love to, Medley.”

I might not be that good at friendship yet... but at least I have a few that I can count on.

***

Octavia hesitated as she approached the town square. “I am... maybe I should turn back.”

“Nope,” said Medley, merriment in her voice. “We’re getting you to this party if we have to hit you over the head and drag you there.”

Fluttershy turned mildly green. “...we are?”

“Not literally.”

Octavia couldn’t resist a soft chuckle. “Yes but... I mean, look at it.”

Ponies completely packed the square in front of Trixie’s gem-studded wagon. Many of them were residents of Ponyville that Octavia recognized, but still more had different accents and clothes that placed them as visitors. Trottingham, Hoofington, Fillydelphia... Octavia even heard a few Caneighdian accents. Ponies had come from near and far, from elsewhere in the province and even from cities far away, to attend Trixie’s show. Octavia’s heart sank slightly. I could never command that kind of friendship...

“Look!” somepony cried. “It’s Twilight Sparkle!”

“The prodigy?”

“Yeah! That’s her!”

Octavia followed their gaze and saw a purple unicorn trotting along with about a dozen tagalongs. The purple mare’s horn was glowing, and numbers and equations were flashing in front of her. “You see,” she was saying, “If you perform a simple non-negative matrix factorization of the matrix of magical energies, you can easily separate out the background magic in the air from the spell you’re actually trying to cast.” Her voice was triumphant. “I know the Everfree’s supposed to be a challenging spell environment, but if you know a few simple tricks, it’s nothing, really.”

The ponies behind her made a series of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs.’ “You’re so smart!” one of them cried.

Twilight blushed. “Aw, thanks,” she said.

Octavia looked at her friends. “That is Twilight Sparkle, the mare who wanted to meet Vinyl.” She narrowed her eyes at the clasp on her saddlebags, a five-pointed star inscribed within a golden circle. "She must have graduated the Mage Academy; I see their insignia on her bags."

“I’d love to meet her,” said Medley. “I--”

“Hey!”

Twilight's gaze fell across them, and a moment later she was approaching at a canter.

“Wow! The Bearers of the Elements of Harmony!” Twilight skidded to a halt in front of them and awkwardly bowed. “I’m so honored to meet you! I -- hey, wait.” She tilted her head. “Where are the other three?”

The three ponies looked at each other. Octavia finally spoke. “Bluenote is out of town teaching foals. Lyra is... er...”

She wasn’t sure how to honestly describe what Lyra was doing in a way that didn’t sound silly. (Come to think of it, she didn't know how to describe anything Lyra did in a way that didn't sound silly.) Fortunately, Medley took over. “Lyra’s doing botanical stuff. But I’m Medley, this is Fluttershy, and that’s Octavia.”

“I’m so happy to meet you! I -- oh, right, should introduce myself too.” Twilight blushed. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, newest graduate of the Canterlot Mage’s Academy. And these,” she nodded at the ponies behind her, “are my study group.”

“They followed you here from Canterlot?” asked Octavia.

“Wherever our teacher goes, she drops pearls of wisdom,” said one of the study group members. “We’d be foolish not to follow and pick them up!”

Octavia wasn’t sure whether to be upset that another pony was clearly better at making friends than her, or mildly nauseous at the metaphor. “Uh.”

“Anyway -- I have so many questions! The Elements! How do they work?” asked Twilight, eagerly.

The three Bearers looked at each other. “How... do they work?” asked Medley.

“Yes! What’s the secret? My theory is that the Elements draw upon your own innate life energies and magnify them, then focus them together into a source of magic that is directly powered by your own wills! Am I right?”

Octavia blinked. “I--”

“Whereas, Professor, Piebald P. Pumpkin,” and her tone grew slightly derisive, “Seems to think that it’s just a transportation spell, such that there is some reserve of magic stored somewhere and the Elements simply let you tap into it. But that’s not right, is it?”

“Of course not!” chorused the study group.

“I don’t really know how they work,” said Fluttershy, seeming to shrink slightly. “But, um... Vinyl’s really good at magic theory. Maybe she knows?”

“You don’t know how they work?” Twilight blinked. “How can--”

Before she could continue, the lights in the square flickered and the doors to Trixie’s wagon burst open.

“FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS!” Trixie strode out onto the stage to a storm of furious applause. “MY LITTLE PONIES, IT IS TIME FOR YET ANOTHER GLORIOUS CELEBRATION!” She swept her hooves out, gesturing vaguely at the stands -- Bonbon’s Bon Bons, Sweet Apple Acres pies, Sugar Cube Corner muffins and cupcakes. “Eat! Drink! Be merry! For tonight only, everything is on the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

The cheers increased, and then a crush of ponies bore down on the dessert vendors.

“Oh! I gotta go!” said Twilight. “When the show starts, I want to be front and center. Trixie’s supposed to be some great mage, but, between you and me,” she dropped her voice, “I think she’s all hot air. Just simple illusions from what I’ve heard, no technique... and if she is, I won’t let her fool these ponies anymore! Let’s talk more after the show!” And she hurried off into the crowd, her acolytes following.

“Some ponies,” observed Medley, “Shouldn’t be plucked up and told they’re smarter than everypony else.”

“There’s no shame in being smart,” said Fluttershy.

“Yeah, and I guess there’s nothing wrong with being rich either, but flaunting either is just obnoxious.” Medley wrinkled her nose. “Look at everypony. Octavia, none of them like Trixie. They just want free cider.”

Octavia opened her mouth to respond, but then a cheer rose up from the crowd. “Let’s hear it for TRIXIE!” cried somepony. “TRIXIE! TRIXIE!”

“TRIXIE! TRIXIE!” yelled others.

Octavia smiled wryly. “Yes, their contempt for her is self-evident.”

Medley shook her head. “Not what I... look, you’ll see. Come on, let’s grab food and then get good seats. I want to see some of this ‘great power.’”

***

The food was sumptuous. Trixie, Octavia thought, had clearly paid for the best. She had never tasted apple butter quite as sweet as what she was eating, though she had dined at some of the fanciest tables in the Duchy of Chenneigh and the capital city Canterlot. Octavia made a note to visit Sweet Apple Acres and see if she could sample more of their highest-quality wares.

“Alright!” called Trixie, appearing on stage in a blast of pyrotechnics and dazzling sparks. “Now! Trixie hopes you’re all fed and watered, because the Great and Powerful Trixie is ready to ENTERTAIN!”

There were more cheers.

“For her first trick... let’s see... oh! A brililiant idea!” Trixie grinned. “She shall pull a rabbit out of her hat!”

But then she paused.

“On second thought, that’s a bit cut-rate, isn’t it? She thinks you deserve better!” There were more cheers. “No, she will pull a dragon from a hat!”

More cheers.

“Actually -- no!” Trixie reared back on her hind legs. “Something truly revolutionary! She will pull a rabbit... out of a DRAGON!”

Octavia blinked. “What?”

Spike trotted out onto the stage, now wearing a cloak that looked similar to Trixie’s. “Ah, her assistant has joined us!” said Trixie. “Now, Spike, open wide!”

Spike smiled and did so. “Aaaah!”

Trixie’s horn glowed. “Abracadabra! Abracadoo!” she roared.

(Octavia could swear she heard Twilight yell, “Those aren’t real magic words!”)

“Now you’ll see what Trixie can do!” yelled Trixie. Her horn flashed, Spike shuddered, and then a huge rabbit -- almost as large as Spike himself -- jumped out of the dragon’s throat and began to hop around on stage.

“Wow!” cried several ponies in the audience.

Trixie grinned and basked in the applause. The rabbit, for its part, hopped around on stage. “Thank you! Now, for my next trick...”

And so it went. Trixie tapped the ground and carrots sprang up; she lifted a table to reveal another table of twice the size beneath it; she -- with much flailing of her hooves -- ripped apart the very air and opened a viewing portal into ‘the twelfth dimension.’ Octavia had to admit that the magic appeared top-notch, and the crowd was eating it up. Every trick seemed to bring on louder and louder shouts.

“Pretty good show,” said Medley. “She might be a noble snob, but she can cast.”

Fluttershy nodded. “I hope she’ll stay in town for a few days. She seems fun, and maybe I could do an event with her...”

Octavia said nothing. She listened to the raving ponies and sighed quietly to herself. Maybe this was a bad idea.

Trixie hopped atop a table. “But that was all nothing compared to her next trick! Behold, as the Great and Powerful Trixie crafts an Ursa Major from the air itself, and--”

“That’s not magic! You’re a fraud!”

Trixie blinked, a slow smile crawling over her face. “Well,” she said. “It seems there’s a neigh-sayer in the audience. Who dares challenge the magical prowess of the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

“I dare!” There was a flash, and then Twilight Sparkle popped from nowhere onto the stage. “That’s not a real rabbit! It’s just an illusion!” Her horn flashed, and the various objects Trixie had ‘created’ on stage -- the rabbit, the huge table, the carrots, and everything else -- vanished.

“Illusions,” drawled Trixie, “are a perfectly valid school of magic. Granted, they’re a bit difficult for the laymare, which is perhaps why you’re unfamiliar with them.” There was general laughter. “Miss...?”

“Twilight Sparkle, graduate of the Canterlot Mage’s Academy,” said Twilight. Her acolytes clapped from down in the crowd. “And one of my duties as a professional mage is to shut down frauds like you! Tricking ponies into thinking that this is real magic, when any grade-foal unicorn knows that illusions are the simplest kind of magic there is! They aren’t even real. Just smoke and mirrors.”

Trixie laughed. “Not real, is it?” Her horn flashed, and Twilight seemed to vanish. “Then I guess you aren’t real either.”

There were gasps. One pony was heard to yell, “She got rid of Twilight!”

The air seemed to shimmer and rip, and Twilight thrust her head out. Her horn was glowing brightly. “Nopony got rid of me! She just made it look like I wasn’t here!” Her horn flashed again, and the illusion vanished. She stalked towards Trixie. “You’re not great or powerful. You’re just a fraud.”

“Pah. I’m a fantastic mage,” said Trixie. “Why, I’ll bet I can do anything you can do -- and better.”

“Hah!” Twilight grinned. “I doubt that, Trixie Lulamoon.”

Trixie grinned. She slowly stretched her legs, cracking the joints. “Oh yeah?”

And she began to sing:

”Anything you can do, I can do better.
I can do anything better than you.”

Twilight laughed and shook her head.

”No you can’t.”
”Yes I can!”
”No you can’t!”
”Yes I can!”
”No you can’t!
”Yes I can, yes I can!"

The two unicorns looked at each other -- Twilight glaring, Trixie smirking. The crowd stared, transfixed by the sight. Twilight was the one who sang next:

”Any spell you can cast, I can cast better.
”Sooner or later, I can out-magic you.”

As she sang, her horn glowed, and stars began to shoot out of it. But Trixie just laughed.

”No you can’t.” She began to summon stars as well, dozens of them.
”Yes I can.”
”No you can’t.”
”Yes I can.”
”No you can’t!”
”Yes I can, yes I can!” With blasts from Twilight's horn, Trixie's stars flashed and vanished. A few moments later, Twilight's did as well. The crowd cheered.

Trixie bowed. “The Great and Powerful Trixie also does astronomy, fillies and gentlecolts!” There was general applause.

Twilight smirked. ”I can bring elation -- with one incantation!” Her horn glowed, and about a dozen ponies burst into laughter.

Trixie twirled her cape. ”I can form a sparrow -- from one bow and arrow!” Some archery equipment floated out of a storage crate, the arrow fired from the bow, and with a flash, a bird was shooting over the audience and tweeting merrily.

Twilight scowled as apples and oranges appeared in front of her. ”I summon food from the air!”
”While the rest of us can’t?”
”Right!”
”Wow, you’re just like a plant!” And a little image appeared in the air. It was of a gnarly weed growing in the sun. It looked ugly, and vaguely purple and Twilight-shaped.

Twilight started. “HEY!” Trixie just laughed and bowed again.

”Any height you can reach, I can climb higher--
”I can climb anything higher than you!”

Trixie’s horn glowed, and she began to float up towards the ceiling. A few moments later, Twilight began to follow her. ”No you can’t!” the purple unicorn sang.

Trixie grinned. ”Yes I can!”
”No you can’t.”
”Yes I can!”
”No you can’t!”
”Yes I can!”
”No you can’t!
”Yes I can!”
”No -- you CAN’T!” cried Twilight as her horn flashed. Trixie vanished from the ceiling of the stage and reappeared below, her illusion dispelled.

Trixie shook this off. ”Yes -- I CAN!” She summoned a lasso from a storage crate, and swung it around Twilight's barrel, then pulled. The purple pony crashed into the ground.

The showmare grinned. ”Anything you can craft, I can craft cheaper.
”I can craft anything cheaper than you!”
Twilight summoned what looked to Octavia like a little toy pony made of wood. The purple mage put it down, and it began to gallop on its own. ”Fifty bits.”
”Forty bits.”
”Thirty bits!”
”Twenty bits!”
”No, you can’t!”
”Yes I can, yes I can!”

Twilight scowled. ”Any spell you can cast, I can cast subtler!”

Trixie shook her head. ”I can cast any spell subtler than you!”

Both mares began to levitate the objects around them, horns barely glowing.

”No you can’t!”
”Yes I can!”
”No you can’t!”
”Yes I can!”
”No you can’t!”
”Yes I can, yes I can!”

Trixie bowed dramatically as she set her table down. “Sorry, Twilight, but an isolated egghead like you just doesn’t have the practical experience to compete! Why don’t--”

“Egghead!” yelled Twilight. “I’m not an egghead!”

"Oh, yes, Trixie is certain you have so much real life experience!"

Twilight flushed and levitated a big mug of Sweet Apple Acre’s Extra Dizzying Super Cider. ”I can drink this liquor, faster than a flicker!”

Trixie lassoed it away from her and gulped it down in one swig. ”I can drink it quicker -- and get even sicker!”

Twilight blanched, but sang, ”I can crack most any safe!”
”Without getting caught?”
”Right!”
”That’s what I thought -- ya crook!” Twilight scowled again.

”Any spell you can hold, I can hold longer.
”I can hold any spell longer than you!”

Twilight grinned and cast a spell, and the table in front of her began to dance a merry jig. Trixie’s horn glowed, and another table joined in.

”No you can’t!”
”Yes I can!”
”No you can’t!”
”Yes I can!”
”No you can’t!”
”Yes I can, yes I can!”
”No you can’t--”

With loud thunks, both tables again fell over at the same time.

”...fine. We can’t.”

”Anything you can wear, I can wear better.
”In what you wear I look better than you!”
”In my coat?”
”In your mane.” A burst of light enveloped Trixie, and then she looked like a carbon copy of Twilight -- though one making a goofy face.
”My horseshoes?”
”And your hat!” A very silly purple hat appeared on Trixie’s head.

“That’s not mine! That--” Twilight blinked. ”No you can’t!” She cast, and Trixie returned to her normal appearance.

”Yes I can, yes I can!”

”Any spell you can cast, I can cast faster!"
”I can cast any spell faster than you!”

Spells began shooting across the stage in a blazing array of lights and sounds. Octavia almost shut her eyes at the brightness, but the show was too entertaining to look away.

”Noyoucan’t!”
”YesIcan!”
”Noyoucan’t!”
”YesIcan!”
”Noyoucan’t!”
”YesIcan!”
”Noyoucan’t!”
”YesIcan!”

And the rest was inarticulate, until there was a large explosion that sent both of them sprawling away.

For a moment, there was only silence.

“Are... they alright?” whispered Octavia.

And then Twilight, still lying down, sang:

”I teleport o’er hurdles!”
”I escape from any girdle!”
”I can summon sweaters!”
”I can fit them better!”

Twilight sprang back to her hooves. ”There is no spell I can’t cast!”
”Can you conjure a pie?”
Twilight hesitated. “...no.”
Trixie waved a hoof. ”Eh. Neither can I.” The crowd roared.

”All ponies you impress, I impress better!”
”I impress ponies much better than you!”
”No you don’t!”
”Yes I do!”
”No you don’t!”
”Yes I do!”
”No you don’t!”
”Yes I do!”
”No you don’t!”
”Yes I do!”
”No you don’t, don’t, don’t!”
”Yes I do, do, do!”

There was a momentary silence, and then they sang as one,

”No you don’t!”
”Yes I do!”

The two stared at each other for several more seconds. Trixie opened her mouth to sing something else.

“Hey!” a pony called. “This song’s getting boring! Do something new!”

Twilight chuckled, while Trixie flushed. “Hmph. The Great and Powerful Trixie rarely gives this much time to hecklers. You ought to be grateful, Miss Sparkle.”

“I spend as much time as I need on debunking frauds and charlatans!” Twilight stuck out a hoof at Trixie. “You call yourself Great and Powerful, but you only know a few spells! You’re taking advantage of these ponies!”

“And I suppose you know more?”

“Well, I don’t like to brag, but yes! If you want to show them magic, you should be showing them real spells!” Twilight trotted over to Trixie’s props. “Altering these objects at their molecular level! Adjusting weights, densities, physical properties! Enchanting things to be more than they are or conjuring them from nowhere; divining the secrets of the future or evoking any emotion at all in your audience! Not just illusion, illusion, illusion!” She grinned. “Besides, you’re sloppy. I can see it in your spells; they’re all brute force, struggling with it until it does what you want. It’s like you don’t understand any of the theory or technique behind real magic.”

“Hmph. Trixie casts what ponies like, and what ponies like isn’t her sitting around reading a boring textbook for half an hour.” Trixie grinned. “Magic is about results, Sparkle. Didn’t you learn anything in that fancy school of yours? Or is that your excuse? You understand magic so well it excuses you from having to cast it?”

“That’s ridiculous. Magic is about understanding the forces that make up the world at their most fundamental level. If you don’t understand them, you’ll never be a great mage.” Twilight nodded sharply. “I can see every spell that went into your ridiculous costume. I bet you have no idea what went into my toy pony there!”

Trixie shrugged and picked up the toy. “Nope. Don’t need to.” Her horn glowed, and suddenly the wooden horse appeared to be about twenty feet tall and was breathing what looked like fire. “And yet Trixie has improved on it anyway.”

“That’s not improvement! That’s--” Twilight blinked. “Okay, you know what? The Element of Magic is here. Let’s ask her to be tiebreaker.”

“Hmm.” Trixie turned to the crowd. “Trixie supposes that is an acceptable option. Bearer of the Element of Magic! Trixie welcomes you to the stage!”

There was a flash of lights, a blast of smoke, and then a panel behind the stage dropped... to reveal Vinyl Scratch, bent over her speaker console, horn glowing brightly.

Vinyl paused, and Octavia noted that she seemed unusually flustered. “Uh... hi!” the DJ eventually managed. “Didn’t, uh, know I’d be on stage quite so early, but--”

“Yes, yes,” said Trixie, waving this off. “We were having a bit of an argument, Miss Scratch, as Trixie knows you heard, and since you have some... experience when it comes to magic, the Great and Powerful--”

“Are you... working the sound equipment?” said Twilight, in a skeptical voice. “I thought you’re the Bearer of the Element of Magic!”

“I am!” said Vinyl, giving a cocky grin to the audience.

“So what are you doing in a technician’s job?” wondered Twilight. She glared at Trixie. “How did you get her into this?”

“Woah!” said Vinyl. “I’m a DJ. This is my job. I run sound equipment and play the most awesome tunes in Equestria!”

Twilight stared.

Trixie grinned. “Yes, it seems like some ponies have a slightly different view of magic than yourself, Twilight. It’s not about obscure minutia and formulae nopony cares about or understands. All that matters is that it works. Who cares about why?”

“Uh, actually, I do.”

It was Trixie’s turn to stare at Vinyl. “What?”

Vinyl shrugged. “All this equipment, I built most of it. Meant I had to develop all the magic from scratch. Knowing why it works was pretty important.”

“See?” challenged Twilight. “You see? The Element of Magic agrees with me.”

“Well, actually--” began Vinyl.

“So you’re on her side?” Trixie flushed and turned to the crowd in obvious bad temper. “Well -- who cares! It’s all nonsense. Let the eggheads have their old tomes. Practical, applied magic that works is all that matters.”

Vinyl frowned, and Octavia recognized the signs that she was starting to become annoyed. “Hey. My stuff works.” She forced a grin. “Behold!”

Vinyl hit a switch, and began to play a wubstep piece -- but almost immediately, sound seemed to come from nowhere, smothering it and drowning it out.

Trixie grinned, horn glowing. “Wow. Impressive theory. Meanwhile, Trixie's music actually plays.”

Vinyl’s horn glowed as the unicorn flushed. “Hey! That--”

“Observe!” Trixie swept a hoof about, and her own music -- a popular tune that Octavia recognized as a Neigh Orleans trot -- seemed to sweep around the area. It didn’t sound all that good; Lulamoon wasn’t controlling for the acoustics of the room, but it was loud enough to drown out Vinyl’s notes.

“See? An experienced showmare like Trixie,” and the showmare flashed a grin at the other two unicorns, “Can always beat a couple of booksmart eggheads.”

Vinyl was almost red. “Hey, I--”

Twilight put out a hoof. “Easy.” Her horn flashed, and Trixie’s music stuttered and stopped. “Trixie, you’re being ridiculous! Insult me if you want, but Vinyl Scratch is the Element of Magic. Show some respect!”

“Hmph,” said Trixie.

Vinyl began to speak again, but Twilight again cut her off. “Besides, have you even looked at what she’s done? The spellwork in her speakers and equipment is quite sound. She’s got the potential to be a great mage someday!”

“Yeah, I -- wait. Potential?” asked Vinyl.

Twilight nodded and took the center of the stage; Trixie, seeming to realize something, backed off and let her have it. “You could be a great mage,” said Twilight. “Many of the best archmages in history started off grubbing around in practical environments before really buckling down with their studies! In fact-” And she beamed. “I can teach you!”

Vinyl’s face was perfectly flat. “Teach me.”

“Of course! You just need a few years in a studious environment, being tutored by somepony like me” she said, “And you’ll be as good a mage as can be found in Equestria.” She chuckled. “Works out well for me too, since ‘training an apprentice’ is one of the things The Official Guide to Being an Archmage says all good mages do!” She trotted over to Vinyl and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Just stop with your silly ‘technician’ and ‘DJ’ jobs and devote yourself to magical theory, and--”

Her next reply was drowned out by a truly deafening blast of wubs.

Octavia couldn’t really tell what happened next. Trixie and Twilight were both bowled over, and then there was smoke on the stage and the audience was starting to murmur anxiously. When the smoke cleared a few moments later, Vinyl was gone. There was only Trixie and Twilight.

Trixie smiled winningly, every inch the performer who would not allow the show to falter. “Anyway! I think you’ve heard enough, ponies. Now -- who thinks Twilight is the better mage?”

The purple unicorn’s acolytes clapped and cheered.

“Vinyl Scratch?”

A few scattered cheers sounded.

“And who thinks it’s the Great! And! Powerful! TRIXIE!”

The cheering was much louder.

Octavia was only half paying attention. She looked at her friends. “Where is Vinyl?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t like this. She never bails on gigs,” said Medley. “Come on. Let’s find her.”

Fluttershy nodded, and the three ponies hurried off into the night.

Maddening Mages

Octavia slowed to a trot as she approached Vinyl’s house. She could see a dim light flickering from the uppermost windows, and she heard what sounded like angry murmurs. Glancing behind her to make sure that Medley and Fluttershy were following, she took a slow breath, then stepped up to Vinyl’s door and knocked. “Vinyl. This is Octavia, with Medley and Fluttershy. We would like to talk to you.”

There was no answer.

“Vinyl.” Octavia knocked again. “We want to see you. Please let us in.”

After a long silence, she heard a grouchy voice. “Ten seconds, Tavi.”

Vinyl’s house was as dimly lit as before, this time with only a small light flickering at the very top of the dome. Vinyl was up there, lying flat on the top few bars of the jungle gym and angrily scratching away at some parchment affixed to the ceiling. Many of the other parchments had been ripped off the wall. The room didn’t just look like a bat cave anymore; with the lighting, the architecture, and the crumpled paper and other junk on the ground, it looked like some ancient ruin.

“Could we please talk to you?” called up Octavia.

“Time's up,” was Vinyl’s response. "Bye."

Octavia hesitated. She looked back at her other two friends. “I am not certain I can do this,” she murmured.

“One way to find out,” said Medley.

“But... if I make a mistake, I will only hurt her worse. You two understand this sort of thing--”

Fluttershy gently put a hoof over Octavia’s mouth. “We wouldn’t be giving you this chance if we didn’t think you could use it,” she said. “We believe in you, Octavia.”

“Well, she does, anyway” said Medley, though her smile indicated that she wasn’t quite serious about her own lack of belief. “Come on, Tavi. You said you wanted to be a friend. This is when you show it.”

Octavia took another breath and began to speak more loudly. “Vinyl, I cannot talk to you at this distance. Please come down."

Vinyl made no response.

Octavia frowned. She didn't think she would be able to make any progress from the ground, but Vinyl's bizarrely constructed house would make reaching her a challenge. "Could either of you two fly me up?”

Medley pursed her lips. “If this jungle gym wasn’t here, sure, but as is, it’ll be a tight squeeze. If I clip a bar, we both fall down.”

Fluttershy nodded. “I can go up on my own, but I’m not agile enough to take you with me... sorry...”

Octavia hooked one arm around the nearest bar. “Very well. I can climb this. I exercise, and--”

She tried to haul herself up, slipped, and in a few seconds, she found herself dangling upside-down six inches above the ground.

“...and I feel very silly,” she muttered, as Medley and Fluttershy tried to stifle their giggles.

After a few false starts, Octavia began to climb up the jungle gym in earnest. It was not as difficult as it looked; the bars were closely spaced and Octavia was able to ascend without too much contortion. There were a few horizontal segments that were more difficult, but by carefully feeling the bars out in the dim light, she was able to make it across them without incident. In this manner, she soon neared the top of the jungle gym.

And then she put her weight on a bar, only for it to slip and gave way.

With an awkward yelp Octavia felt herself start to pitch forward. She thrust a leg out at the next nearest bar, knowing she would be too slow. Below her, she saw Medley and Fluttershy begin to move under her. She tensed, bracing to fall on them--

But something caught her, and she felt herself floating to the next bar. Looking up, she saw Vinyl watching her. For a moment, her anger seemed forgotten, and she looked almost bemused. “Careful,” she said. “That one’s a trick bar. Falls when weight goes on it.”

Octavia was stunned for a moment. “Trick...? Why would you have a trick bar?!” she demanded.

Vinyl blinked. “Uh, Tavi. This is my lair. Awesome lairs need traps.” Her voice added the unspoken ‘duh.’

“But... but...”

“No more traps from there, though. Come on. You want to talk? Alright, fine. Get up here and talk.” Vinyl’s horn glowed, and she illuminated a path up the rest of the jungle gym that was presumably free of trick bars. “This way's fine.”

Octavia gulped, then continued up the path. Fortunately for her, she found that it was indeed safe. “I suppose I should be lucky you do not have any pits with spikes in them,” she said.

“Oh, I turn those off when I’m expecting company.”

Octavia looked at Vinyl. “...I have no idea if you are serious.”

“Then I’m doing it right.”

***

Vinyl worked in silence for a few moments as Octavia examined the score. It looked loud and angry, with a thumping beat and a lot of distortion. “Are you alright?” she asked at last.

“Fine.”

Octavia raised an eyebrow. “Vinyl.”

Vinyl sighed. After a few moments, she said, “I work really hard, Tavi.”

The comment was so obvious that Octavia was unsure how to react. She said nothing, hoping Vinyl would speak again.

Vinyl obliged. “I designed every single piece of equipment for my performances. The microphones, the speakers, the pickups... everything. Do you have any idea what that takes?”

Octavia shook her head.

“This isn’t just acoustic magic. I have to enchant and transmute the speakers to give them the properties I need, conjure paths to move the music from my instruments to equipment, which is usually spread over an entire room, do abjurations so the feedback doesn’t turn this stuff into a pile of slag... everything. The spells in my equipment? Maybe they’re not as flashy as Trixie’s, and they’re not as theoretically solid as Twilight’s, but they’re mine. No other pony in Equestria does what I do. And do you know why?”

“For your music?”

“Yes. I want to be the greatest DJ in Equestria. I have such incredible music in my head, and I want to give it to the world. The magic isn’t there yet. My music isn’t there yet either; sometimes I look at what I write down and it’s so far off from what’s in my head...”

Octavia squeezed Vinyl’s hoof. That was one feeling she could certainly sympathize with.

“I want to be the best. And every. Single. Thing I do is geared towards that. That’s why I do so many shows, even when they don’t pay well -- I need to get my name out there. That’s why I design all this equipment. That’s why I took the gig for Trixie even though she was a complete jerk. That's why...” she trailed off. “But nopony understands.”

“I understand,” said Octavia, her mouth moving before her brain had quite caught up to it. Wait. Do I?

Vinyl frowned. “No you don't. I mean, I appreciate that you try, but you don't know why I do half the things that I do."

"Try me," said Octavia, her brain still lagging behind her mouth by a few seconds.

"Okay. Fine -- do you know why my house is so dimly lit? Think it’s ‘cause I just don’t like light?”

Octavia opened her mouth to say that she didn’t know, but then she shut it again. That wasn’t the right answer. She is my friend. I need to make an effort to understand her. This is important.

She shut her eyes for a few moments, working out some possibilities. When she thought of Vinyl’s shows, though, the answer struck her in a flash. “Your shows are often poorly lit,” she said. “The dance clubs and bars you specialize in have very poor lighting. You need to be able to run your equipment, fix problems, and perform without the benefit of good lighting. You are training yourself.”

Vinyl let out a long breath. “Exactly right. I once had a show where the speaker blew up halfway through. I had to switch to my backups, then get it fixed, all in almost complete darkness. But this is what it takes.” She shook herself slightly. “Same with the jungle gym. I mean, yes, it’s awesome, don’t get me wrong -- but I wouldn’t need to literally live on it if that were all it was. But I have visions, sometimes, of things I want to build... speakers as big as a house, that could play for an entire city at once. Systems that require climbing inside them to fix or modify them, because they’re just that massive. I’ll need to be agile someday.”

She was silent again for a few more moments. “A lot of ponies just think of me as a blue-maned idiot. I show up and play some music with a lot of drum and some distortion, and that’s all there is to my life. I am tired of ponies assuming that I'm an moron because my music is bass-heavy, and I’m tired of unicorns telling me that my magic is stupid because it’s too applied or because I don’t have a degree or it isn’t showy enough... look, I can take bad reviews. Every musician gets them. But when the so-called greatest mage of this generation tells me that I’m only fit to be one of her groveling students, or the mare who throws more parties than anypony in this province except Pinkie Pie tells an audience of thousands that I suck, it hurts.”

Octavia was silent for a long moment. “We know you are more than that, Vinyl.”

“We?”

“We other five Bearers. You guided us through the Everfree Forest. You defeated a golem warrior set in place by the most powerful mage in Equestrian history, the Burning Sun Herself.”

“Yeah, but that’s got nothing to do with music,” groused Vinyl. “Those two, Trixie and Twilight, represent the nobles and the intelligentsia. And every time I see them, and ponies like them, I feel like I’ll never break through. And never be able to play this music inside of me... because all the ponies that matter think I’m some lazy mule with nothing better to do than mess around...”

Octavia was silent for several moments. Finally, she began to talk softly into the DJ's ear. “Vinyl. I know none of those things they think of you are true. We all do.”

Vinyl glanced at her. “Oh yeah?”

“I know you work hard, because I have walked by your house at night, unable to sleep, and I heard you working with your machines or your music despite the late hour. I know how many performances you give. I watch how hard you work at every piece of music, continually editing and modifying until you believe it to be perfect.” She gestured down at the equipment bay below them. “I am aware of how much effort you put into designing every single item you will use in any of your shows. I have seen you throw away speakers when they faltered in the narrowest frequency ranges, even though it meant you would have to build more.

“And I know how much you put into your music because I listen to it. I admit that I still do not understand ‘wubstep’ entirely, but I can hear the passion and drive. Even if I do not know what your music is saying, I can hear its clarity, feel its power, and be carried by its emotional content. Your music is good, Vinyl. And it would not be good if you had grown lax anywhere along the line, in composition, practicing, constructing your equipment, or anything else. Nopony could produce what you have produced with halfhearted efforts.” She smiled at Vinyl. “Anypony who knows anything about music can tell how good you are.”

There was a long moment... and then Vinyl smiled.

The tension seemed to leave her body, and she lowered her quill hoof back to her side. “It’s nice to hear somepony say it now and then,” she said. "Thank you."

Octavia nodded her head.

Vinyl chuckled, and just like that, she was her usual merry self. “Those two are idiots. But who cares? Noble idiot, egghead idiot... whatever. I’ll outperform them both and show them. And they’re in my next song, of course.”

“... they are?”

“Yeah?” Vinyl pulled another parchment down from the ceiling; it was the one she had been working on when Octavia had arrived. “Let me know if you like the lyrics.”

Octavia scanned them. “Vinyl, I... you cannot play this.”

“Why not?”

“Because... because...” Octavia tried to come up with a reason Vinyl would accept. “Uh...”

Vinyl grinned. “Something the matter?”

Octavia eventually managed to say, “They are not accurate. First of all, Twilight Sparkle is probably not that flexible.”

Vinyl blinked. “...accuracy is overrated, Tavi. But fine. I’ll make it Trixie.”

“No! I mean...”

***

Some time later, Octavia carefully climbed down from the jungle gym. She felt tired and drained, but also good. I think I helped her. I really think I did.

Fluttershy flew up to talk to Vinyl next, while Medley led Octavia into the other room. “Nice going,” she said.

“Thank you.”

Medley smiled slightly. “And you thought you were bad at being a friend. Compared to those two unicorns tonight? You rocked it.”

Octavia blinked. “I helped Vinyl, but they have more--”

“Okay, look. It’s easy to be friendly to happy ponies that like you. Twilight’s got a dozen ponies who think she’s the smartest pony in Equestria; of course she can be nice to them. They’d probably give her the coats off their backs if she asked for it. Trixie’s got a whole lot of ponies that she’s bribed with free stuff; of course she makes them happy. But I don’t think either of them could have cheered up Vinyl.”

“You don’t?”

“Twilight would probably have gone on about how her books indicate Vinyl is wrong to be sad or something, and Trixie wouldn’t care in the first place. You did.” Medley put a hoof on Octavia’s shoulder. “I know you’re still struggling, but honestly? That was a very friendly thing you did tonight.”

Octavia smiled. “Thank you.”

The two sat in silence for a moment before Medley got up to grab them some hay sodas from Vinyl’s ice box. “I wonder how the show went,” said Octavia, at last. “With both of them there.”

“Who cares? Twilight won’t want to see Vinyl now, not after that, and Trixie’ll probably leave once the praise dries up. I doubt we’ll ever hear from them again.”

***

Twilight Sparkle, graduate of the Canterlot Mage’s Academy, certified wizard (specialties: evocation, conjuration, enchantments; yes, three specialties was uncommonly many, but then again she was a very uncommon mare) trotted towards the Everfree Forest. Her face burned.

Trixie had humiliated her. Gotten her on stage, then cast all sorts of gimcrack illusions, gussied up foal spells that any oaf with a horn and a few ounces of talents could produce, to embarrass her. The pusillanimous fool hadn't dared take on Twilight in any real magic duel; no, she had just done some stupid illusions to please the masses. Twilight’s magic was better; that was obvious; but how could she show that to the others? You couldn’t expect the laymare to appreciate a lovely, subtle painting over the bright nonsense of a schoolfoal, and magic was no different. Flashy, whiz-bang cantrips would always win in the mind of ponies who lacked the training and technical knowledge to appreciate true magical craft.

But fine. She could deal with that. She had herself a plan, and she would not be deterred. She was Twilight Sparkle, graduate of the Canterlot Mage’s Academy, etcetera. Nothing could stop her.

Smiling, she slipped into the Everfree Forest and out of sight.

A few moments later, the air rippled, and Trixie Lulamoon stepped out from behind a shimmering curtain of nothingness. Her eyes narrowed as she considered her next move.

Finally, she made up her mind. “Spike. Come on,” she snapped.

“Aw, Trixie, can’t we go back to the wagon?” asked Spike, hurrying to catch up from his hiding place behind a big tree.

“No. We’re following Twilight Sparkle,” said Trixie. “Let’s go. Quietly.”

The two followed Twilight, and quickly, all three were lost to the sight of Ponyville eyes.

Author's Note

Uh oh. Twilight, don't do anything stupid. Trixie, don't do anything stupid either. We wouldn't want you to get... I dunno. Covered in poison joke and turned into mimes.

Unbalanced Ursa

Twilight smiled as she neared a large cave. It was cloudy, and only a little moonlight filtered down through the treetops, but that was no barrier to the talented mage. She could sense what she was looking for easily; she’d learned a spell to track her quarry months ago. Now all she had to do was step forth and--

"So! What is such a brilliant and renowned scholar doing in a place like this?"

Twilight spun around and bared her teeth. "Trixie," she hissed. "I should have known you'd follow me. Trying to stop me, are you?"

Trixie’s smile was the epitome of smug. Spike, on her back, just looked bored, but that didn’t seem to inhibit her. “Stop you? My dear Twilight, your esoteric academics don’t interest Trixie enough to be worth stopping. She was just wondering why you had wandered out here, into the Everfree Forest... especially when you stormed off her stage vowing revenge. Trixie finds herself wondering what you meant.”

“Oh, that?” Twilight grinned. “I’m going to destroy you, Lulamoon. Your lies, your deceit, your gussied up illusions and gimcrack shows... they end here! Do you know what I’m going to do?”

Trixie chuckled, and her horn began to glow. “Why don’t you tell Trixie?”

“I am going to write a letter to the Journal of Equestrian Mages!” Twilight grinned savagely. “I will detail every one of your weak, lazy illusions! Every reputable institution of magic in the nation will receive notice that you’re a bad mage who can only impress ponies that don’t know anything about magic. Your reputation will be ruined!” She hopped gleefully. “You won’t be able to apply for grants! You won’t ever get a seat on the Equestrian Board of Magical Mastery! You won’t even be able to apply for a lowly adjunct position at a magic college!”

There was silence for a moment.

“Trixie imagines she will find a way to cope with the loss,” said Trixie. “But will you, Twilight?”

“Will I what?”

“Oh, Trixie thinks that, once her show is updated to add the sad saga of Twilight Sparkle, the clownish academic who can’t cast a flicker except in laboratory conditions, her reputation as the smartest mare in Equestria might fade a bit.” Trixie laughed. “Write to your journals, Twilight Spackle.”

“Sparkle!”

“It will be Spackle in Trixie’s show. But write them. Trixie will talk to her fans. We’ll see whose magic is better than whose.”

"Yes," said Twilight. She turned her back on the showmare. "I suppose we will. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some actual work to do."

"Leave?" The showmare grinned. "Trixie thinks not. She has no desire to leave this forest."

"Spike does," said Spike. "I mean, I do. Can't we please go back? This place gives me the creeps."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Spike, you have nothing to fear with the Great and Powerful Trixie defending you. When has she ever been in serious trouble?"

"What about the time you accidentally shot a firework into Duke Malheureux's estate?"

"... trouble caused by fireworks does not count."

Twilight ignored all this and cast her spell again. Almost immediately, she felt her head tilting towards the cave. She trotted forwards. Maybe those two will just keep bickering outside, and I can get on--

"Stop!" called Trixie, hurrying after her. "Trixie demands to know why you are in this forest if not for purposes of revenge. It isn't exactly prime real estate."

Twilight debated telling Trixie to go away again, but then she paused. She knows so little. Even if she's a jerk, don't I have a duty to help fill in some of the gaps in her education? "Well, if you really knew magic, you would know that a lot of powerful magical spell components can be found in the Everfree Forest," said Twilight. "I am collecting some for experiments... or I would be, if you would stop bothering me."

Trixie used her telekinesis to snap off a prickly branch that poked her in the side. "Ugh. Sounds perfectly boring, and a waste of time to boot."

"Real magic involves experimentation and careful study. If I want to discover things no other pony knows, I need spell components. Of course, I can't imagine you'd know anything about that."

"Not really," agreed Trixie.

"Figures," muttered Twilight.

***

The two mares and Spike went deeper into the cave, Twilight's horn guiding them into its depths. The trio were about to turn around a corner when Twilight saw something that brought her up short. "Aha!"

"What now?"

"Silvermoss!" said Twilight. She hurried to one of the tunnel walls, which was covered in a silvery and shiny growth. "I was hoping I'd find some of this. It's a key component for a lot of beautifation spells and similar magic."

Trixie chuckled. "If you want a new 'do,' Twilight Spackle, Trixie would be happy to share her secrets of inner beauty. It's simple -- the more like Trixie you look, the more beautiful you are."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "It's not for me. One of my projects at the Academy was the analysis of gussifying magic--"

"Trixie does not believe that is a real word."

Twilight bit back a growl. "To gussify is to make a piece of trash look like a quality product. Like when FlimFlam Incorporated tried selling self-writing quills to the students at the Academy, and we found out they had just used magic to make it look like the quills could write until they were far enough away that we couldn't get refunds." She chuckled. "Of course, I didn't fall for it..."

"And now you want to cast such spells?" said Trixie, in a tone of wanting to cut off a long and rambling digression before it got too far along.

"No. But by using silvermoss and testing some 'like attracts like' spells, I should be able to design some magic that can detect upwards of ninety percent of beautification and similar spells. Ninety percent!" Twilight used her magic to scrape a large amount of moss into a vial that she took from her saddlebag. The best spell that currently exists can only get eighty-five." Twilight grinned as she used her horn to scrape a large quantity of the moss into a vial that she took from her saddlebag. "It will be a theoretical revolution. In three months, I should--"

"Three months?!" Trixie looked stunned. "It will take you three months to develop your counterspell?"

"Yes, if all goes well."

Trixie laughed. "Incredible. You know, Trixie would hate to disagree with such a renowned scholar, but really, three months for one spell seems a bit long. Trixie develops new spells every few days. One must keep one's repetoire fresh, after all."

"A few new simplistic illusions, you mean." Twilight chuckled again. "I suppose that's pretty good for a mare so afflicted with oligophrenia as yourself, but an omnilegent mare like me would never settle for that."

Trixie scowled. "Now you're just using confusing words on purpose."

"Are you calling me a logomaniac?" asked Twilight, smiling sweetly. "But I've picked up so many words in my operose studies, so why--"

"Trixie demands that you shut up!" Trixie yelled. Spike laughed.

"Well, Trixie can go home if she likes. Twilight -- I mean, I -- will stay here for a while and collect everything on my list." Twilight took out a parchment roll and quickly unrolled it, then marked off one item. "Only two hundred and forty-three to go."

Trixie stared as the end of the parchment rolled past her hooves and back towards the entrace. "Trixie suggests that you get a life."

Twilight just packed up her scroll again, turned, and continued to walk down the tunnel.

"Trixie supposes you used some fancy spell to find the silvermoss?" the showmare demanded.

"Oh, no, that was just a lucky break. I'm using a spell to find something much more important." Twilight looked over her shoulder and smiled. "And I should get back to that. Excuse me."

Trixie growled as Twilight walked away, then trotted after her. Spike futilely grabbed at her leg. “Trixie, can’t we go back home? Why are we here?”

“We’re here because a certain Twilight Sparkle refuses to admit that Trixie is the best,” hissed Trixie. “And we’re not leaving until she does!” She hurried after Twilight.

Spike sighed to himself. “This is going to be another long night,” he muttered.

***

Twilight stopped twice more as she moved through the network of tunnels and caves. She dug a collection of crystals out of the wall, claiming they would be of invaluable assistance in developing better magical clocks, and also stopped at a natural air vent to collect some of the hot air blowing up from underground. Trixie followed, making the occasional snide remark.

“Is there some reason you won’t leave me alone?” called Twilight.

“Trixie feels it would be too bad if nopony knew what had happened to you, after you were eaten by some monster of the Everfree. But have no fear -- Trixie will tell the tale.”

“Oh, shut up,” muttered Twilight. “Jealousy really doesn’t suit you.”

“Jealousy? Of you? Pah!” Trixie laughed.

“Yes. Jealous of me.” Twilight grinned. “You know I’m a better mage than you, Trixie. I can do anything you can, and ten times more besides.”

“As if. Trixie is superior to you.”

“Prove it,” said Twilight. “Go ahead. Find something you can do with magic that I cannot.”

“Easy!” said Trixie. “Let’s see...”

Twilight’s horn suddenly flared up, then tugged Twilight sharply towards a cave that branched off from the main tunnel. “Aha! Yes! Found it!”

“What now?" called Trixie, hurrying after her.

“The next item on my list!” gasped Twilight. “One must be really close!”

She ended her spell as she passed into the next cavern, then cast a light spell and looked around. Trixie followed behind her, with Spike a distant (and complaining) third. Even he, though, was at a loss for words once he entered the room and saw the scene before them.

The cavern was huge, albeit somewhat plain. A few stalagmites and stalactites dotted the room at irregular intervals, and a large, clear pool of water was in the center. Behind the pool, a few five-pointed stars lay on the ground. Each was about one foot across, and they all glowed with a strange inner light.

And behind them was an Ursa Minor.

Though curled into a ball and fast asleep, both ponies and Spike could tell that the beast was huge. If it had stood, it would have been scraping its head on the cave ceiling, and it was at least as tall as twenty ponies standing hoof-to-shoulder. Stars dotted its blue, glowing body. As the unicorns watched, it scratched itself a bit on one shoulder, tugging another star off and sleepily knocking it away.

“Wow!” whispered Twilight. “We get to watch it shed its stars!”

Trixie frowned. “Yippee,” she muttered.

“Alright,” said Twilight. “Now, I have the spell to keep it asleep, and the spell to make my hoofs not make any sound when I walk across the rock, but I'll need both of you to be quiet. We don't want to wake--"

“Trixie knows what she can do that you cannot,” said Trixie, suddenly.

“Oh? What?”

"Move that massive beast to the tunnel entrance, without waking it up," said Trixie. "Your magic might be 'theoretically sound,' but Trixie's can manipulate even a monster of that size. Trixie could have it sing, or dance, or stand on its head... but she wouldn't want to bruise your ego too much, and so will only have it walk to the front."

Twilight snorted. "Yeah, right. Any horse can make a claim -- and any pony can do the same. You're lying, Trixie."

“Oh? Then you won’t mind making a little wager on it, will you?” Trixie grinned. “If Trixie can get the Ursa to the tunnel mouth, you admit that she is a better mage than you. In public. To your acolytes.”

Twilight thought for a few minutes. “Deal. But -- if you can’t, then I’ll move the Ursa. If I can get it further than you, you have to do a show where you admit you’re a fraud and that my kind of magic is the best!” Her eyes gleamed. “And you have to become my apprentice.”

“Fine... but if Trixie wins, then, you become her showmare apprentice. You can clean her hat after she’s done summoning rabbits out of it.” Trixie chuckled. “Bet?”

“Bet.”

Spike blinked. “Um,” he said. “What if the Ursa wakes up?”

“Trixie is not afraid of some dumb animal,” said Trixie.

“Yeah,” said Twilight. “He’s big, but he’s not bright. Worst-case, I know how to teleport.”

“But I don’t!” complained Spike.

“Quiet, Spike. Trixie is talking,” said Trixie. She took off her hat and cloak and tossed them to Spike, who hurried to catch them. “Alright. Now, the perfect spell to move an Ursa...”

***

In the end, Trixie settled on bees.

She didn’t know much about Ursas, but they looked like bears. And bears, she knew, ate honey, or at least the ones in the Lulamoon Provincial Zoo did. So just simulate some bees, she figured, and the Ursa would do as she wanted.

She started softly, with just a faint illusory buzzing flickering near the Ursa’s ears. The sleeping Ursa twitched, its body instinctively reacting to the sound of food. Smiling, Trixie increased the volume a little, then began to move it...

And, just as she planned, the Ursa rose and, though still mostly asleep, began to stumble after her.

Trixie backed out of the cavern ahead of the Ursa, Twilight and Spike also getting out before the Ursa did. The showmare grinned at them, then continued to guide the Ursa, carefully aiming the buzzing sound to get the bear right where she wanted it. When it looked like it was about to veer down a side tunnel, she layered a second illusion of a rushing waterfall down that cavern, and the Ursa stopped going in that direction. When it was about to knock into a wall, Trixie cast an illusion of numbness over its arm, and though she almost collapsed from the strain of illusioning something that large, the Ursa didn’t seem to notice when that arm brushed the wall.

Trixie grinned. “Showed... you... Spackle...”

“You’re not even halfway yet,” said Twilight. “Your technique is all wrong, you’re wasting--” But then Spike clamped a hand over her mouth, pointing at the slumbering Ursa right behind them, and Twilight stopped talking.

Trixie grinned as she reached the halfway point. This was a more open area with a lot of vents, so she began trying to get rid of the noise of the moving air. Slowly, taking them one at a time, she cast illusions of silence and quiet. She strained with the effort, but she managed to get through most of them.

And then the Ursa, which seemed to feel that the room was more open, leapt at the buzzing.

It crashed through the spot where Trixie had put the bee illusions, dispersing the spell as it tumbled to the ground. It seemed puzzled for a moment, as if wondering where the bees went, but then it settled back into sleep. Within moments, it was like it had never been walking at all.

Twilight grinned brightly. “So you got halfway. If I get even one single step more out of this tunnel, you’re my apprentice.”

Trixie scowled. “Well -- well, Trixie would love to see you try!”

“No problem! Unlike you, I know something about Ursas. I know what they eat, when they sleep, and what magic they have in their bodies. This means...”

Her horn glowed a bright, blinding purple.

Slowly, the Ursa rose.

“I...” hissed Twilight through gritted teeth, “know how to move them.”

***

Ursa, Twilight explained -- at length -- were highly magical. As such, just as many magical objects could be manipulated by the application of certain spells, Ursas could be treated similarly. The correct spells could trigger Ursas into doing all kinds of things, from sneezing, to sleeping, to walking.

“So... it’s like one of those wind-up toys?” said Spike, watching in awe as Twilight trotted along with the Ursa by her side.

“Much more complicated than that!” chirped Twilight. “Because I’m doing all the moving, I have to target the correct muscles for each leg of the journey! Right calve, right thigh, left calve, left thigh...”

“Trixie is amazed. You have found the stupidest way possible to get from Point A to Point B,” drawled Trixie. "Direct manipulation of every muscle on that thing's body? Trixie could not come up with a more difficult and circituous technique if she tried."

“Or a safer one, if you’re moving a bipedal entity that will eat you if it wakes up!” Twilight laughed. “Don’t worry, Trixie. You’ll learn so much studying under me. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be a proper mage.”

“You’re not done yet,” was all Trixie said.

They were nearing the cave entrance. Twilight, who was starting to sweat, grinned in relief. “Just a few steps more, boy!” she called to the Ursa. “Left! Right! Left! Right!”

“Trixie could do without the march.”

“Trixie can be quiet and watch a real mage--”

As the Ursa reached the tunnel entrance, its right leg struck a large rock. The bear tottered for a moment, and then fell over with a large crash.

Both unicorns froze and looked at its face. For a moment, nothing happened, and they both let out deep breaths.

And then the Ursa’s eyes flickered open.

And it roared.

***

“I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA!” screamed Spike.

“SHUT UP AND RUN!” yelled Trixie.

The three were racing through the Everfree, pursued by a very angry -- and very large -- star monster. Trixie and Twilight were weaving through thick copses of trees, trying desperately to shake the bear off, but it was no use. The Ursa could knock down trees as easily as they could kick over bowling pins.

“USE YOUR MAGIC!” yelled Spike to Twilight. “AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A REALLY GOOD MAGE?”

“Trying!” Twilight’s horn flickered. “One teleportation, coming up!”

Her horn flared, and, with a flash, both ponies (and Spike) vanished.

And then they reappeared three feet away.

“What kind of lame teleportation is that?!” yelled Trixie.

“It’s not my fault!” gasped Twilight. “I’ve never cast when running before! Or in the Everfree; all the magic in the air makes it different!” She looked almost pained. “I can cast perfect spells, but not under these conditions! I never practiced under these conditions?”

“So... you can cast perfect spells that are really powerful and complicated, provided you’re at rest, and nothing is going on around you, and the environment is just like your laboratory in Canterlot?” asked Spike.

“Yes!”

“That’s... not helpful.”

Trixie shook her head as they entered a clearing. “Fine. It appears that the Great and Powerful Trixie must once again save the day. Prepare to be awed, Twilight!”

Her horn glowed, and suddenly, there were about fifty copies of Twilight, Trixie, and Spike running around.

The Ursa burst out of the woods behind them and froze. It looked about, clearly puzzled. Trixie grinned.

“Now,” she whispered, “We lay low and wait for the Ursa to chase one of the decoys. By the time it knows the difference, Trixie will be back in Ponyville... with her new apprentice--”

The Ursa flared its chest, and then sniffed a huge quantity of air.

Trixie blinked. “Uh.”

“Did you make your spell fake scent too?” asked Twilight.

“No! The Great and Powerful Trixie’s fans don’t care if the illusions smell realistic!”

“Well -- quick, alter your spell!”

“Uh, yes,” said Trixie, blushing. “The Great and Powerful Trixie can of course do that. Just give her a moment--”

The Ursa looked right at the three and roared again.

“No time! Run!” yelled Spike, and the three were off again.

***

The ponies and Spike raced hard, but they were steadily losing ground to the Ursa. Its legs were too large, and it was too strong in the forest. Before the trio had gotten halfway back to Ponyville, they were barely out of range of its big, brawny arms.

“There!” called out Twilight. Her horn glowed brightly. “I’m detecting a cave!”

“What good will that do?” called Trixie.

“Better than nothing!”

The trio raced for the ‘cave,’ which turned out to be an ancient stone tunnel with a narrow opening. Trixie ran in first, followed by Twilight. Spike tripped, but both unicorns grabbed him with telekinesis and hurled him into the cave just before the Ursa arrived.

Trixie looked around. The cave was small and had two openings -- the one they had entered from, and a very small hole in the back that neither unicorn would be able to fit through. "Well, that thing can't get in, but Trixie doesn't see any other usable exits. Now what?"

"I... I don't know," managed Twilight.

“Maybe it will go away?” mused Spike.

There was a loud snort outside, and the trio looked out. The Ursa was glowering at them, or at least, the one eye that they could see through the narrow cave entrance was. The Ursa reared back, then sat down in front of the cave entrance and began to stare.

“Or it might try to wait us out,” conceded Twilight.

“Can you teleport now?” asked Trixie.

Twilight shook her head. "If it shorts again, I could put us inside a wall."

"So... you can't do it."

"Well, I could try, but what if it failed?" Twilight blushed. "I'd be a laughinstock at the Academy! Teleportation's one of my signature spells!"

"You'd be dead," pointed out Spike.

"That too. My point is, that's not much of a better option." She frowned. "Well? Doesn't Equestria's greatest illusionist have a plan?"

"Yes! Trixie has many plans--"

The Ursa bellowed again, and somehow Trixie wound up in Twilight's hooves. "None of which she has great confidence in," she conceeded.

Spike sat on a little rock and sighed. "I can't believe I'm going to get eaten by an Ursa. This sucks."

"Wait!" said Trixie. "That hole in the back of the cave -- the Great and Powerful Trixie cannot fit through it, but Spike can!"

Twilight looked. "Of course! Spike -- you can get out! Go out the back, get away from the Ursa, and get help!"
Spike’s eyes widened. “Wait, what? Me? No way!”

Trixie smiled. “If you do, Trixie will reward you with a ten thousand bit star sapphire!”

Spike’s stomach rumbled, but he still said, "I don't know..."

Twilight frowned. “...look, the alternative is for us to all sit around here and hope the Ursa gets bored.” She paused. “According to my studies, Ursas don’t get bored easily. One famous Ursa, named Boris, watched a squirrel for --”

“Yes, yes, nopony cares,” said Trixie. “Spike. Go back to Ponyville and raise a posse to rescue us.”

“Um. Why would they want to come here and fight an Ursa?” asked Spike. “What am I supposed to tell them?”

“Tell them that they will be rewarded handsomely,” said Trixie. “And, should any of them die saving Trixie’s life, her family will gladly pay a munificent set of benefits to their surviving family.”

“No, don’t tell them that,” said Twilight, rolling her eyes. "In my luggage at the motel there's a book on talking to ponies. Memorize chapters three through eight, and then just use those strategies to befriend them. You shouldn't have any trouble getting help then!"

Spike blinked. "You know, uh, I think I must just kind of wing it."

"Wing it?" Twilight looked at Trixie. "Doesn't he have any respect for the accumulated knowledge of--"

The Ursa roared.

"Winging it works," said Twilight. "Go!"

Trixie nodded. "Yes, hurry!"

"Right, I get it!" Spike took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing."

And he ran out into the Everfree Forest.

Author's Note

All the words Twilight uses here are, in fact, real words. And yes, I do have a book of super fancy words to use for scenes like this.

I find it funny that Twilight's answer for 'how do I move an Ursa' is essentially 'play QWOP' with it.

Lifesaving Lullaby

“...so this is how you mount an amplification spell on a speaker frame,” said Vinyl. She rotated the speaker so that the other three ponies could see into its inner workings, which sparkled and glowed with magic. “By putting the spell here, I can get the speaker body to vibrate and boost the sound way louder than my previous design. This baby can break glass at twenty paces." She grinned.

“I’m surprised there aren't amplification spells that don't need speakers at all,” said Medley.

“Well, there are, but I’d need to use a lot more magic to power them during my shows. If I can offload some of the work into these speakers, then I can use my magic for other stuff. Like some awesome pyrotechnics.”

Octavia examined the speakers with a critical eye. “Fascinating. Classical theatres are usually designed to have powerful acoustics... there are architects who design nothing but music halls and studios. I can see how, in environments that were not specifically built for musical performance, such magic would be very useful.”

“Why not combine them?” wondered Fluttershy.

Vinyl grinned. “Aw, yeah. Can you see me at the Cantelrot Philharmonic with these babies?”

Octavia thought for a moment. She could visualize a bunch of elderly ponies being bowled over in shock by blasting wubs. “Erm...”

Vinyl laughed.

Medley was about to say something else when a loud pounding issued from the door. “Open up!” somepony yelled.

Vinyl frowned. “Can't anypony read? DJ-Pon3 is done for the day.”

“I’ll get it,” said Medley. She fluttered over and opened the door. “What?”

Spike ran into the room. “You’re the Element Bearers, right?”

Octavia frowned. “...Trixie’s pet dragon, yes?”

“I’m not a pet, I’m an assistant -- oh, never mind.” Spike turned to Vinyl. “You’re the Element of Magic, right?”

“Uh, yeah--”

“Great! We need your help!” Spike took a deep breath. “Twilight and Trixie are trapped in the Everfree by a gigantic Ursa Minor! They’re in a little cave right now, but they can’t get out and the Ursa won’t go away, so they really need a hoof! They sent me to get ponies to drive the Ursa off! Hurry!”

“They sent you to us?” asked Fluttershy, eyes wide.

“Well, no, they sent me just to get help. But you’re the Elements and you’re supposed to be really strong!” Spike’s eyes were wide. “Trixie’s fans just like her show; they aren't going to rescue her in the middle of a dangerous woods. I don’t think Twilight’s friends know enough to be able to help either -- but you’re the Elements! You can save them!”
 “Wait,” drawled Medley. “The greatest scholar and the most amazing showmare in Equestria need help from little old us?”

“Yes!” Spike blinked. “You’re going to help them, right?” His eyes were wide and starting to moisten. “I know Trixie’s kind of a jerk, but she’s the only family I have! Please!”

The four looked at each other, but there was no need to discuss. Vinyl stepped forwards. “Of course we will,” she said. “We’ll save their flanks. Because we’re the Elements of Harmony!”

“And because you want to rub it in their faces,” added Octavia.

Vinyl chuckled. “Maybe a little. Come on, girls. Grab your instruments and let’s go!”

***

“So, you’re going to use the Elements, right?” asked Spike. He was leading the way back to the little cave where the two unicorns had been hiding. “What’s it like?”

“Using the Elements?” Vinyl frowned.

“Yeah, aren’t those them?” Spike gestured at the wagon that Medley and Octavia were towing, which contained Vinyl’s speakers, Medley’s aeolian harp, and Octavia’s cello.

Vinyl laughed. “Oh, right! Yeah, we can’t use the Elements. That’s why we’ve got to haul the gear and can’t just summon them.”

Spike almost tripped over his feet. “Why not?”

“Bluenote’s out of town,” said Fluttershy. “And Lyra is communing with nature. They only work with all six of us.”

“I told you, you shouldn’t have told Lyra that Bonbon likes to put flowers on the table when she eats,” commented Medley.

Octavia blushed. “How was I supposed to know she was going to go on a ‘flower quest’ to find the prettiest flowers in the province so she could refine her wedding plans?”

“Um, you’ve met her, right?”

Spike was staring in confusion. Finally, he seemed to process what had been said. “No Elements?! Seriously?”

“Nope,” said Vinyl.

“But -- without the Elements, what are you going to do?”

“We’ll use my sweet tunes,” chirped Vinyl. “Music’ll work. ‘Music soothes the savage beast,’ as somepony famous once said.”

“Breast,” said Octavia.

“What?”

“The expression is, ‘music soothes the savage breast.’ Not beast.”

There was silence for a moment.

"Eh. Close enough," said the DJ.

Octavia noticed Spike turning red. “Um, Vinyl--”

“I know, I know. Relax, Spiky-wikey. We’ve got this. Don’t forget -- I once beat a golem in single combat! Medley beat up a whole bunch of kelpies, Octavia beat a leshy, Fluttershy took on a nightmare... we’ll be fine.”

“Were any of those as big as the Ursa?” asked Spike.

Fluttershy shook her head. “Ursas are very, very big,” she told Vinyl. “Ten to twenty times as large as a pony.”

“Yeah, but whatever. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.” Vinyl mimed punching something with a hoof. “No problem. We’ll kick its flank and send it back where it came from!”

Spike looked nervous, and dropped back a little until he was walking near Octavia. “Does she really know what she’s doing?” he whispered.

Octavia nodded. “Yes,” she said. “She may seem eccentric, but she is one of the smartest mares I know. If she claims to have a plan to defeat the Ursa, she does... and we will be able to carry it out. As long as our bonds of friendship are unbroken, nothing can stop us.”

“Are you four even friends?” Spike frowned. “Trixie said you’re a noble heir, like her. And, um, you might not have noticed, but she’s not so good with friends. I mean, ponies like her shows--”

“Until recently, I suffered from the same problem,” said Octavia. “And... I still do, from time to time. But my friends have helped me overcome them, and they have also helped me to realize that I know more of friendship than I had first thought.” She bowed her head slightly. “Our friendship has defeated the fiercest monsters of this wood, not to mention traps set by nigh-omnipotent alicorns. We can and will defeat this Ursa.”

Spike was silent for a moment before smiling a little. “Alright,” he said. “Good to know Trixie and Twilight are in such capable hooves.”

***

Within ten minutes, they had reached the tunnel. The Ursa was still there, pawing in front of the cave’s opening and looking rather disgruntled. A few panicked squeaks emitted from the tunnel itself.

“Do you have a plan?” asked Octavia.

Vinyl put a hoof to her chin. “First, we need to lure it away from the two unicorns. Then we can put it--”

Sparks flew out of the cave, one hitting the Ursa in its eye. Distantly, the four Element Bearers her Trixie crow, “Hah! The Great and Powerful Trixie has scored first blood!”

The Ursa roared, knelt, and began to pummel the cave with massive paws. Octavia heard cracks as the stone started to crumble.

“Scratch that,” said Vinyl. “First step, calm the bear down so it’ll pay attention to us. Then we lead it away, then we knock it out.” She turned to Spike. “Is there a large clearing near here?”

“Yeah, we ran through one a few minutes north--”

“Great!” Vinyl nodded. “Fluttershy, can you calm the Ursa down a little?”

“I don’t know, it looks very mad...” said Fluttershy, who was shrinking back a little.

Spike clutched at Fluttershy’s leg. “Please? Pretty please?”

Fluttershy took a breath and shut her eyes. “I’ll do it,” she said at last.

Vinyl nodded. “Medley, how well can you control the music coming from your harp?”

“It’s my instrument,” said Medley. “I’m good at it.”

“Even in the Everfree?”

“Of course.”

“I thought the Everfree screws up magic?” whispered Spike.

“It’s not magic. I flap my wings, it plays a melody. That’s all there is.”

“Perfect.” Vinyl levitated the speakers and cello out of the cart, and with some straining, got them arranged on her back. “Spike, take me to the clearing -- I need to get set up. Fluttershy, calm the bear down so it can hear us. Medley, get oriented south of the Ursa and play that piece you played for me five days ago, when we were hanging out by City Hall. Octavia, the harp and Medley will be in the wagon; when the Ursa begins to go north, drag the wagon after you.”

“I don’t know that piece,” said Octavia. “What are we doing, exactly? I--”

“It’ll take too long to explain.” Vinyl nodded at the Ursa, which was tearing off a large part of the cave’s ceiling and hurling it away. “Don’t sweat it. We trust you to get this right.”

Octavia tensed. She did not know what was going on; if she made a mistake, the Ursa could kill all of them. I am not yet good enough at this! I know little of friendship, I cannot anticipate what they want or need like they can do with each other. I need help...

Spike poked her. “Is something wrong? Can you do it?”

Vinyl smiled easily. “Of course she can. Right, Tavi?”

Octavia took a long breath. She remembered how she had helped Vinyl earlier that day, and the kind words Medley and Fluttershy had spoken to her. No. I do not need help. I trust their assessment of me. “Yes.”

“Then let’s go,” said Vinyl.

***

Vinyl took off with Spike and the cart, and Medley and Octavia hurried to the south of the area where the Ursa was battering away at the cave. That left Fluttershy to approach it.

“Stop!” she called, zooming in close to the Ursa’s left air and barely dodging it as it swatted at her. “You’re being a very mean bear, and you’re trying to hurt two very nice ponies. Stop it at once!” Her eyes widened.

The Ursa turned to stare at her, and roared loud enough to send Fluttershy tumbling backwards. She managed to right herself, though, and bristled. “Now, that wasn’t very nice!” she said. “There’s no reason to be so grumpy!”

The Ursa glared at her, and huffed menacingly.

“Just calm down,” said Fluttershy. “Calm down, and I’m sure we can work out a peaceful resolution to this problem.” She smiled winningly. “Now, why are you so mad at Twilight and Trixie-wixie?”

“Trixie-wixie?” muttered Octavia.

“Shh,” said Medley, though she was obviously struggling to contain her chuckling. “Think it’s calm enough yet?”

“It is not screaming or breaking rocks anymore... yes.”

The Ursa shook its head and growled something. Fluttershy blinked. “Um, well, that was very mean of them, but I’m sure if you ask them nicely to apologize--”

The bear growled something else, narrowing its eyes.

“Er, uh, apologizing is not just for ‘chumps,’ it...”

Then music started to flow into the clearing.

Medley stood on the rear side of the wagon, flapping her wings in a rapid and fierce pattern. The air passed through the aeolian harp, vibrating the strings and producing a stormy, loud melody. The notes sounded like they had been formed from the air itself, with no sharp attacks or noticeable onsets, just strong melodic tones that arose from nowhere and thrust out into the world at large. The music was more than energetic; it darted hither and yon, like it was spawned from some maelstrom. It was as if...

Octavia’s eyes widened. It was the kind of music such an aeolian harp would produce if it was being driven by a storm.

The bear, presumably, knew nothing of music, but it knew the sorts of chaotic, loud sounds that presaged a violent rainstorm. It froze as it heard the music, then began lumbering away from the music, northwards.

“Go!” hissed Medley, enjoyment in her voice. “Giddeyup!”

“...Giddeyup?” asked Octavia, beginning to tug the cart forwards. The aeolian harp was intended to be an installation piece and was therefore heavy, but the cellist managed. “I am no beast of burden.”

She heard Medley chuckle. “Relax, Tavi,” murmured Medley. “Friends fool around with each other.”

Octavia smiled, and she hurried after the Ursa.

***

Medley, playing music to simulate a storm, drove the Ursa a mile or so north and into a moderately sized clearing. Octavia saw that speakers had been set up all around it, including a few in the trees themselves. Vinyl was hanging from a branch, Spike balancing on her head and shoulders. Fluttershy was watching the Ursa from behind a large bush.

“Tavi!” hissed Vinyl. “Stop! Don’t go into the clearing yet! Medley, stop playing, you need to be silent for this next part!”

Octavia stopped just shy of the clearing itself. “What now?” she hissed back.

“Your cello’s over there! Play something to lull it to sleep!”

Octavia blinked. “Will that work?”

“If you’re the awesome cellist you say you are, sure!” Vinyl’s voice grew more urgent. “Your cello has more acoustic power than Medley’s harp. We need you for this. Come on, Tavi--”

“Worry not. I can do it,” said Octavia. She unhitched herself from the wagon and hurried to her cello. She quickly unpacked the instrument and bow, brought her hoof up, and began to play. A soft lullaby sallied forth.

The Ursa seemed unaffected, and about ready to turn back to boot. Octavia gulped. "Vinyl, this is not--"

“Hang on! Octavia, I need to fix something, keep going!”

Octavia continued to play. She forced her breath and stature to remain as calm as she could so that she performed correctly, even as the bear began to sniff the air and turn in her direction. I can do this. Vinyl will fix whatever is wrong, and then I will carry out my duty. I could do no less for my friends.

A small disk floated near her and settled onto her cello. Startled, Octavia stopped playing for a moment.

“There!” called Vinyl. “Now try!”

Octavia played more notes. Almost immediately, the lullaby began to play over the speakers in the clearing.

The Ursa tilted its head, apparently now more strongly affected by the cello’s strains.

Octavia smiled and continued to play. It was a simple melody, one that, until recently, she would have thought beneath her, but she no longer cared about things like that. She played the notes calmly, with a strong, even tempo and pitch. The music seemed to emphasize Octavia’s control, to say that everything was under control, no more effort was needed, and any listeners could just relax, secure in the knowledge that all else was taken care of.

The Ursa nodded its head drowsily, and Octavia began to quiet the music a little bit. As the tune faded, the Ursa lowered its head closer to the speakers to hear it, until it was almost on the ground. Eventually, it did lie down. Octavia played a few more soft, calm, lovely notes, and the Ursa’s eyes flickered shut. Another few, and it began to snore.

Octavia sighed and lowered her bow, and then Vinyl and Medley and Fluttershy were hugging her. “We did it!” cheered Fluttershy, in her usual, soft cheer. “We saved Trixie and Twilight!”

“Of course we did,” said Octavia, smiling brightly. “With friendship like ours, how could we not?”

***

The quartet, plus Spike, returned to the tunnel, where Spike crawled into the ruined entrance to tell the unicorns that they were safe.

Almost immediately, purple and blue blurs jumped out of the tunnel. In moments, Vinyl found herself being clutched at by two very frightened mares. “Relax!” she said, smiling merrily. “No need to grab. There’s plenty of Vinyl for everypony.”
 Twilight blushed, and with a squeak, jumped backwards. Trixie also blushed, but she didn’t release Vinyl. “The Great and Powerful Trixie is... grateful for the rescue. Not that she needed it, strictly speaking, but--”

“Yes, we did,” said Twilight. She blushed again. “Thanks. And... sorry.”

“No worries,” said Vinyl. She smiled merrily, extricating herself from Trixie. “It’s late. Why don’t we all go back to Ponyville? You two can stay at my place overnight. We’ll talk it out tomorrow morning.”

Trixie looked like she was about to refuse, but then shrugged and nodded her head. “We accept,” he said.

Vinyl nodded. “Spike, you can stay over too. Uh... what do dragons eat?”

“Metals and gems, mostly.” Spike licked his lips. “Actually, those stereos look really tasty. Is that pure copper in there?”

"Uh," said the DJ. "On second thought--"

“I can watch Spike,” said Fluttershy, fluttering over with a smile. “He looks undernourished anyway. Trixie, what are you feeding him?”

Trixie blinked. “Gems, mostly. Whenever we reach a town I buy some from a jewelry store.”

“Commercial gems? Oh, no, dragons need a much more balanced diet than that.” Fluttershy nodded. “How many organic fire rubies are you eating? Or emeralds...”

As this went on, Medley approached Octavia. “Congratulations,” she said. “You did great.”

“So did you.”

“Yeah, but I always knew I’d do great.” Medley smiled.

Octavia nodded. “...I did better than I thought I would. Thank you again.”

“No problem. Now come on -- let’s get back to town. I am not sleeping in these stupid woods again.”

As they rejoined the group, Octavia heard Twilight say, “So, how did you defeat the Ursa anyway? Was it with some amazing spell for beating up Everfree Ursas?”

“Nope,” chirped Vinyl.

“Did you teleport it somewhere else?”

“Nope!”

“...attack it somehow?”

“Not even close.” Vinyl smirked. “We played it a lullaby.

“A lullaby?” Twilight blinked. “What kind of magic is in a lullaby?”

“None,” said Octavia. “I would be happy to explain it all to you... but perhaps we could return to town first?”

“Yes, Trixie agrees with Octavia’s proposal.” Trixie stuck out her tongue at the foliage. “These woods are terrible for Trixie’s peace of mind.”

Vinyl opened her mouth to say something, then paused, shrugged, and smiled slightly. “Sure. Let’s go back.”

The gear was loaded back into the wagon, Trixie and Twilight were persuaded that the woods were safe for travel, and then -- with much hubbub -- the seven returned to Ponyville.

Peaceful Parting

The next day, Octavia trotted over to Vinyl’s as soon as she awoke. She wasn’t sure how much difficulty the DJ would have with her new guests, but in case it was more than she could handle, she wanted to be able to help.

When she knocked, a smiling Twilight opened the door. “Hi Octavia!” she said. “You’re here early. Element business?”

“Er, no,” said Octavia. “Did you have a pleasant night?”

“Yeah! Vinyl even offered to let me use her bed, but I said no, of course -- I couldn’t kick my host out of her own bed. I was just on the couch in the kitchen.” Twilight began to trot back inside. “I was out like a light as soon as we got here, actually. I didn’t even get through my bedtime reading.”

“Where is Trixie?”

“I don’t know.” Twilight frowned. “I haven’t seen her, but--”

“Hey!”

The two ponies looked up to the landing with Vinyl’s bed on it. Trixie was poking her head over the side, her mane in utter disarray.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie requires her beauty sleep. Make less noise!”

“Trixie!” said Twilight. “You kicked Vinyl out of her bed?”

There was a rustling, and then Vinyl popped her head over the side as well. “What? No, I’m here. What’s wrong?”

Twilight stared for a moment, steadily turning a bright, tomato-style red, before collapsing backwards on her haunches. “But... but... eww!” She stuck out her tongue. "I was in the next room! Ew!"

“Pshaw. The Great and Powerful Trixie finds love wherever she pleases.” Trixie smirked as she stepped out of bed. “Just because you are too shy for such activities does not mean we all--”

Head high, she stepped forwards, and proceeded to walk off the landing.

“Aaaah!”

Twilight's horn glowed, grabbing Trixie just before she crashed to the ground. “Careful!” she said.

Vinyl snickered, and just like that, the ice was broken.

***

“It wasn’t pure theory, and it wasn’t pure practice either. It was a combination,” said Vinyl. She had grabbed the two unicorns some sodas and was sitting with them at her kitchen table. Medley and Fluttershy had also come by and listened to Vinyl recounting their defeat of the Ursa. “I needed my spells to work with the equipment I had, but I had to adapt them to work with Octavia’s instrument instead of my percussion. Different frequencies, different kinds of onsets, everything, everything.”

“So, what, the right combination is half and half?” said Twilight, a skeptical look on her face.

“No, there isn’t...” Vinyl frowned. “There is no right combination. That doesn’t matter. What matters is why you’re doing magic in the first place.” She leaned back. “What’s the point in magic for its own sake? So you make a bunch of ponies chant your name, or you get your name in the journals. Who cares? If it’s all focused on you, you’ll never be able to cast the really important spells -- no matter how many books you read, or how much you experiment with magic.”

She got to her hooves. “Magic is a tool. I use it to create awesome music for ponies to hear... and to help ponies that need help, like you two last night.” She smiled. “To help my friends too. Theory, experiments... those aren’t important. What matters is, at the end of the day, if ponies are better off thanks to your use of magic. That’s why I can use the Element of Magic. Because I know how to use my magic to help others, especially my friends, whether it’s making music they can enjoy or driving away cosmic bears.”

Trixie frowned. “But... compared to you, we--”

“Stop focusing on who is better, or whether books or experiments are better. Get back to why you’re doing magic in the first place.” Vinyl grinned. “Trixie... I’m guessing you want to make ponies happy at your shows.”

“Of course,” said Trixie. “That is Trixie’s special talent, after all. Magical performances.”

“And Twilight, you want to create new spells... spells that can help ponies?”

Twilight nodded eagerly.

“Then just do that,” said Vinyl. “Both of you. All the little stuff will work itself out, and you two will be the best mages you can be.” She grinned. “Right?”

There was silence for a moment.

“No!” said Twilight.

“What do you mean, ‘no?’” asked Medley. “You’re not still hung up on that inane theory-versus-practice, are you?”

“You aren’t going to fight any more Ursas, are you?” asked Fluttershy.

“Especially seeing as how the last one almost killed you,” added Octavia.

“No.” Twilight bowed her head. “It’s not...” She trailed off. “Thank you,” she said at last. “For saving my life. I really appreciate it. And I do want to pay you back. But just because I lost one competition doesn’t mean that all the theorists are wrong. It just means that I wasn’t strong enough.” She smiled. “I can’t abandon everything I learned in the Academy just because I made some mistakes. Anymore than you could change musical genres if a classical musician beat you in one of your ‘battle of the band’ things.”

Vinyl chuckled. “I guess that’s a fair metaphor. But what will you do instead?”

Twilight hopped to her hooves. “I will study all the harder! I will travel far and wide, and I will not return to Ponyville until I have mastered magic that will surpass yours!” She grinned. “Vinyl Scratch, I hereby declare you... my rival!”

“Your what?” asked Vinyl.

“My rival! My nemesis, who might have showed me up once before, but whom I will eventually defeat! I will learn all the magic of the world, read every book, master every spell, until I can overcome you!” She looked almost giddy. “Oh, my checklist says every great archmage has a rival! I’m ahead of schedule!”

Vinyl shook her head, but she was smiling. “You’re really set on this, aren’t you?”

“Yes!”

“Well... as long as you don’t start anymore fights, I can’t complain too much.” Vinyl smiled. “Just don’t get in any more arguments over who’s the better mage, okay? We might not be able to bail you out next time.”

Twilight bowed her head. “I won’t. I will be good, I will stay safe... and I will master magic to defeat you.” She grinned fiercely. “I promise!”

“Trixie will come with!” said Trixie, suddenly.

“What?” said Twilight. “I didn’t say you could come!”

“Trixie knows. She has invited herself along on your quest. She also wishes to learn magic to defeat her... worthy adversary.”

“That wasn’t what you called me last night,” said Vinyl.

Trixie grinned. “Well, last night, you called me--”

Twilight covered her ears. “Stoppit!”

“Anyway,” said a smirking Trixie, “Trixie has many valuable skills she could lend Twilight Sparkle on her quest!”

“Like what?”

“Trixie has actually traveled across Equestria before,” said the showmare. “Has Twilight?”

Twilight hesitated. “...no, but if I read some books...” she trailed off. “Uh...”

“Trixie knows how to survive in the wilderness, how to fix a broken cart, how to wow the locals... and, of course, Trixie has an unlimited bank account.” Trixie grinned. “Unless you were planning on simply stealing any spellbook you required?”

Twilight blinked. “...on second thought, we can go together.”

“Splendid!”

“Now, all we need is Spike--”

Vinyl’s door burst open, and Spike ran in. “Trixie? Trixie? Come on, let’s get out of here!”

Vinyl blinked. “Uh. Wasn’t Fluttershy watching you?”

“Yes -- but she left, so I managed to escape!!” Spike jumped on Trixie’s back. “Keep that yellow pegasus away from me! She was horrible!”

“Like what?” asked a baffled Octavia.

“She wouldn’t feed me any gems! She said they were unhealthy and I’d need to eat ‘staple’ rocks and minerals like rock salt, limestone, quartz... she said that I could only have one gem a week! And then I told her that I liked to sleep twenty hours a day, and she was all, ‘No, a young dragon needs exercise!’” Spike shuddered. “Let’s flee now, before she comes back!”

“Um,” said Fluttershy. “I’m right over here.” She frowned. "A proper diet is important--"

Spike squeaked and hid behind Trixie. “Save me!”

Trixie rolled her eyes as she levitated Spike onto her back. “Until next time, then, Vinyl Scratch.”

“You’d better be ready!” said Twilight. “Because next time, we’ll show you awesome magic, the likes of which you’ve never seen!”

Vinyl laughed. “Hey, maybe you’ll give me some good ideas for my shows. Safe travels, you three.”

And that was that.

***

From a hilltop, the four Element Bearers watched the two unicorns and the dragon leave Ponyville.

“Good work, team,” said Vinyl. “We showed up that Ursa.”

“And those two,” said Medley.

“Oh, we shouldn't be like that,” said Fluttershy. “They’re much nicer now. And they’re friends with each other too!”

“What do you think, Tavi?” asked Vinyl. “Want to travel the world with a gazillionaire heiress and the most famous scholar we’ve ever met?”

Octavia thought for a moment. “I wish them luck,” she said. “But I would not want to go with them. I would rather stay here.” She smiled. “With my friends.”

“Oh, so you admit it at last,” teased Medley. “Before you were all, ‘I’m too sucky for friends.’”

“You are my friends,” said Octavia. “Even if I sometimes make mistakes. And I am profoundly happy for that fact.”

She felt hooves around her barrel, and then realized that Fluttershy was hugging her. Before long, the four were locked in one large embrace.

“Well,” said Vinyl. “As we’re all friends here, I move that we all drop by Sugar Cube Corner. After all that, I need a milkshake. Stat.”

Medley grinned. “Race you!”

And with that, the four friends scampered off into the night.

Musical Medley

Octavia Philharmonica was a mare who loved music.

She loved everything about it. There was the elegant way it had of affecting even the deepest feelings, such that a joyous sonata could lift ones' spirits to unparalleled highs, and a funeral march could evoke the gravity and finality of death itself. There was the sheer versatility of the medium, the infinite possible variations for each piece that provided her with a truly unlimited palette to weave her tapestries of sound. There were the memories she had of particular performances -- her mother singing a lullaby to her and soothing her to sleep during a dreadful thunderstorm when she was a foal; her own performance of a particular sonata that was so beautiful that she had manifested her cutie mark at its completion; the Canterlot Symphonic Orchestra's rendition of the Symphony to Conquer Evil in which Princess Cadance herself had performed the role of Symphonia, the legendary hero who had sung the demon ram Grogar into an enchanted slumber from which it would never awaken. She loved the way music felt, the way it worked its way into her mind and delight her with all its subtle intricacies, even the way it looked when it was but markings on a parchment. Yes, she loved everything about it --

"You! Stupid! Music!"

Usually.

Octavia took a few breaths and glanced about, thinking to herself that Lyra at least would be happy to hear her. Lyra Heartstrings, one of her new friends, had encouraged her to be more emotional when she was playing. She had been explaining to the green mare how she had been trained to always be dignified and formal while performing, even if the stage was burning down around her, but Lyra had laughed at that. "It's music, Tavi! If you want to play happy, you've got to be happy! If you want to play epic, you've got to feel like you're really about to buck a gigantic dragon in the snout!" She had leapt atop a park branch, brandishing her lyre like a sword. "And if you want to play angry, you've got to imagine the pony you hate most in all the world standing in front of you and laughing!"

"...I think my teachers omitted that lesson," Octavia had said.

"Well, no worries. Lyra Heartstrings doesn't leave anything out!"

Feeling silly at her outburst, Octavia reminded herself that Lyra’s advice wasn’t really relevant for this work. This particular song wasn't an angry piece. It was an etude, or in laymare's terms, a technical exercise. It had no emotional content; it was just a set of notes designed to improve her skill. No, Octavia's frustration had nothing to do with the particular melodic patterns of the piece itself.

"Why have I not mastered you yet?" the gray mare muttered.

Shaking her head, Octavia took a few breaths to steady herself. Truth be told -- and, as Bearer of the Element of Honesty, Octavia did value the truth -- there was more to her frustration than just technical ineptitude. She was currently living and practicing in Bonbon's spare bedroom, and while it was soundproofed, she still felt uneasy about practicing in somepony else's house. Until recently, she had only played in her own private chambers, either at her family's estate in Chenneigh or in Canterlot Castle. The idea of Bonbon being able to overhear her playing something imperfectly was acutely embarrassing, akin to the mare seeing Octavia drunk, or sugar-high, or embracing that red-coated stallion that worked on Sweet Apple Acres. If she didn't master the piece soon, then Bonbon might somehow hear her screw up, and...

"Oh, stop it," said Octavia to herself. "Musicians make mistakes all the time. I would rather enjoy the camaraderie with my friends while we 'jam,' as Vinyl calls it, even if I occasionally play something incorrectly, than remain shut up in a private estate as before. Music means nothing if nopony can hear it." She brought up her bow again. "Even if Bonbon overhears this, she will not think the less of me because I have not yet mastered Czerneigh's twelth etude." She nodded firmly. "Now. Again."

Feeling a little more under control, Octavia began to tackle the etude once more. Her bow flickered about as she carefully hit each note before moving on to the next, a smooth progression of sounds in a clean and simple melody that nonetheless demanded the utmost in technical precision. She tensed slightly as she neared the most difficult part, her bow a blur as she nailed chord after chord. The melody rose, plateaued, lowered, then began to jump up and down, each successive interval more difficult to reach than the last. She shut her eyes, feeling and hearing the cello in her hooves, and went for the highest chord --

And made it.

A grin broke over her features as Octavia sailed into the coda of the etude, finished with a soft, rich sound, then lowered her bow. She looked at the score, then her cello, then herself in the mirror. Even at a glance, anypony would be able to tell she was happy. Her warm smile took care of that.

Every note perfect, she thought. Every bit of shading, every intonation, every dynamic. I did not forget a single thing. I...

She paused, her grin fading. The word 'forget' seemed to stick in her mind. Was there something else that she was forgetting? Something important?

Frowning, she went to her day planner on her dresser. She had woken at dawn, as scheduled, and had breakfasted on scones and tea in the cafe section of Bonbon’s shop. Then she had gone to the market to fetch some groceries, stopped by Cheerilee's schoolhouse to pick up the foal's music compositions that she had somehow been roped into grading, and returned to her room for a few hours of practicing. The only other thing on her list before dinner was one of the 'jam' sessions with her friend, but that wasn't for at least five minutes, and--

Octavia blinked as she looked at the clock again. Five minutes?

And then she was shooting out the door.

***

My little pony...
Ah ah ah...
(My Little Pony)
Friendship sounded so off-key to me.
(My Little Pony)
But now you're here, and now I see...
A loyal backing
Honest melodies!
Songs to share
With loving harmonies!
Joyous dance --
Such a lovely feat --
And magic makes the perfect beat!
You are my little ponies...
Friends make the best music of all!

***

Octavia stopped running as she reached the dwelling that Vinyl called her house. The watch on her foreleg said that she was at least twenty seconds early, which, honestly, was better than the preceeding week’s session. That time, she'd been fifteen minutes late. I, Octavia thought, Need to pay more attention to my friends... But she had no time for self-pity. She raised a hoof and knocked on the door. "Vinyl? I have arrived," she called.

"It's open!"

Octavia still hadn't quite gotten used to Vinyl's house, which represented nothing so much as a large bat cave trapped inside a pony dwelling. The main room was a dimly-lit domed structure with platforms jutting out from the walls at various points. Vinyl's bed and dresser were mounted on wooden supports about halfway up the north face, while a large set of studio equipment and speakers was on a raised stage near the bottom. Studio gear, bookshelves, even an old disco ball were mounted along the walls at various heights. As for reaching them, there were no stairs, or lifts, or even floating clouds. There was instead a jungle gym.

Vinyl was about halfway up the southern wall, hanging from a gym support with one hoof while she used the other to scratch down some musical notes on lined parchment that was taped to the wall. Her horn was glowing, providing just enough illumination for Octavia to see the composition, as well as two other quills that were floating and making notes on other parchments. If Vinyl hadn't been hanging off of a jungle gym, she would have looked just like any other serious composer, albeit one writing multiple compositions at once. As it was, Octavia felt slightly dizzy looking at her.

Vinyl gave a sudden start, which Octavia recognized as the sign of her being inspired for another piece. Sure enough, she hauled herself up the jungle gym, easily swinging across the bars and climbing near the top, where she lay atop the highest bars and began working on some parchment secured to the very top of the dome. One of the floating quills joined her, while another floated to a parchment nearer to where Octavia was standing.

Octavia coughed. "Vinyl, would you like to begin our session?"

"In a minute!"

Vinyl scampered up and around the room, making notes here and tweaking compositions there, once even ripping a parchment off of the domed wall, balling it up, and dropping it. (Octavia assumed it was pure coincidence that it landed on her head). Still, the mare was slowly migrating in Octavia's general direction, so Octavia didn't say anything. Instead, she looked at the electronics equipment on the ground. The only part of the room that wasn't strangely vertical was a large mess of speakers, wires, a metal frame of half a pony, and other odds and ends arranged in some complicated order on the ground. She knew that Vinyl worked on her equipment almost as much as she worked on her music and playlists, and she was hoping that Vinyl had in fact finished her latest upgrade. She was interested to see what could be done with--

Her thoughts were interrupted by Vinyl, who swung down from a jungle gym bar until her face -- upside down -- was directly in front of Octavia's. "HI TAVI!" she yelled.

"... hi," managed Octavia, though she did smile. "Having fun?"

"Oh, you know it! Days like today, I feel like the music just pours out of me!" Vinyl reached around Octavia to scribble a few notes on some parchment on the door behind her. "In fact, I think I'm almost done with my latest work!"

"Wubstep?" asked Octavia.

"What else could it be?" Viny laughed. "But I got a real big contract for a month from now. Filthy Rich wants me to DJ his daughter's cutecenara. Gotta make sure I got all the best stuff." She grinned, and Octavia could see the fierce pride on her face. "This is gonna be awesome."

"Congratulations." Octavia smiled. "That must mean a lot to you."

"Oh, it does. But anyway!" Vinyl flipped off the jungle gym and landed on her hooves with an ease that Octavia envied. "Ready to rock?"

Octavia looked around. "Is it just us?"

"Well, Bluenote is tutoring students in Trottingham today, and Lyra said something about going on a quest to ‘commune with the flowers.’" Vinyl laughed again. "I don't think she's coming."

"What about Medley and Fluttershy?"

"Oh, they got here a few minutes ago.They're in the back."

Vinyl's other room was much more conventional. It included a small kitchen and dining area, some couches and chairs, and a few pictures of famous electronic musicians. Medley was sitting on a couch drinking a hay soda and talking animatedly with Fluttershy. The latter was perched on a little chair, sipping tea daintily.

"... it's hard to get the metal just right. You need a nice clean tone when the chimes... oh, hey." Medley looked up at the two newcomers. "We all here?"

"Yep!" said Vinyl. "Come on, let's chat and then let’s jam! I've got music in me that's just bursting to blast out!"

Octavia nodded. "I apologize for my tardiness."

"You're not tardy," said Fluttershy, looking at a wall clock. "Er... well, only by a minute anyway. It's not a problem."

"Yeah, no sweat," said Vinyl.

As was their custom, before they began to play, the group talked about their latest musical adventures. "I," said Medley, "might have a good opportunity coming up. The Ponyville filly scout chapter want to incorporate some musical merit badges into their curriculum, and the scoutmistress wants to rent from my shop. Should be able to get things worked out pretty soon..."

Fluttershy soon picked up the conversation. "I'm having my birds sing at a political rally next week," she said. "Representative Monocle is proposing a motion to cut art and music funding for Equestrian foals. My dad asked me to go perform music for a protest rally." She shook her head. "I can't believe anypony would want to prevent little colts and fillies from learning about music... but I'm sure that my birds will be able to show Representative Monocle the true beauty of music." Octavia recognized that smile of hers, the one indicating that somepony was going to recognize true beauty, like it or not. "Oh, and I just adopted out Robbie my robin redbreast..."

When it was Octavia's turn, she briefly listed the etudes and other works she was working on. "I was thinking of making a recording of my etude performances. I would like to remember what they sound like even years from now... they are very useful pieces." She nodded firmly, then turned to Vinyl, the only pony in the room who had not yet spoken.

"What about your work with Miss Cheerilee?" asked Fluttershy.

Octavia blinked; that had slipped her mind as she had thought about the etudes. "It goes well. The foals seem to have learned the basics, at least those that do their homework. While their compositions are probably not refined enough for individual performances by the end of the term like Cheerilee had planned, we are going to try to have them write different voices for one or two pieces, such that, when all played together, the result is music the class can be proud of..."

Vinyl was twitching in her seat, and Octavia looked at her. "Is there something you wanted to say?"

Vinyl nodded eagerly.

"Very well. I have nothing else of significance to discuss, so--"

Vinyl jumped to her hooves. "I," she announced, "had an AWESOME week."

The other three stared.

"Could you... elaborate?" asked Medley.

"First off, I had some killer inspiration. I had a dream where I was skiing down an erupting volcano--"

"Very realistic," commented Octavia.

"--And there was this awesome backing, and when I woke up I was totally inspired." Vinyl chuckled. "I think I worked on that one for two days without sleeping. Finished up a couple other pieces too. Then I got a few gigs booked -- the cutecenara, told you about that already, and I'm doing scary music by the Everfree tomorrow for a camping group, and I'm in Canterlot at a club in three days and I have a show over in Hoofington in five..."

"You're busy," said Medley. "You getting enough sleep?"

Octavia frowned and looked closer. Vinyl was wearing her usual sunglasses, despite the somewhat dismal lighting conditions of her main room, but the cellist thought she saw some bags under Vinyl's eyes. The DJ, though, didn't seem bothered about it. "Course I am. I'm awesome; I don't need sleep. I'm gonna be the best DJ in the world; no time to waste!"

Fluttershy grinned. "I know you can do it!" she chirped.

Vinyl rattled off a few more gigs that she'd gotten booked since the last jam session before moving on to other things. "I got a letter from somepony wanting to talk to me, since I'm the Element of Magic. Any of you know of a 'Twilight Sparkle?'"

"Yes," said Octavia. "She is the sister of the Captain of the Guard." The one that excoriated me. "She was also relatively famous in Canterlot a while back."

"What did she do?" asked Medley.

"She qualified for the Mage's Academy, which is virtually impossible to do if you have no prominent mages in your family. The entrance exam is supposed to be more difficult than many conventional magic school's graduation tests, so if you have not been casting spells since birth, it is nearly impossible to pass." said Octavia. "Twilight Sparkle's parents were both commoner shoemakers; she lacked access to prominent mages or even the specialized libraries some older families have. Nonetheless, she took first place on the entrance exam." Octavia thought back for a moment. "Princess Cadance mentioned that she might be the greatest mage since Star Swirl the Bearded. I have not heard of her in a while, though... but I would assume she is near graduation by this point."

"Greatest mage of the generation, and she wants to talk to Vinyl?" joked Medley. "Better figure out how to sound smart, DJ PON3."

"Bah. I know my stuff. And I'm always eager to chat with a fan." Vinyl grinned. "She's in tomorrow. If Bluey's back by then, maybe we can show off the Elements for her."

"That could be fun," agreed Medley.

Vinyl turned the discussion back to her recent activity, focusing first on her new speaker designs and then transitioning to the magic she was developing so the speakers could handle her music. Octavia tried to focus, but she knew little of magic and found her attention fading. She wished she'd had another chance to play that one etude, really lock it down--

"Hey! Earth to Octavia!" called Medley. "Anypony home?"

Octavia started. "I -- I apologize. I became distracted." Her face flushed. Not again...

Vinyl shrugged. "No worries. Anyway, I realized that there simply weren't enough wubs for--"

Somepony knocked on the door.

"Expecting company?" asked Medley.

"Maybe it's Lyra!" said Fluttershy. "Maybe the flowers are communed."

Octavia blinked. "I do not believe that is actually a word."

Vinyl got to her hooves and began to trot to the door. "I'll bet it's another fan," said Vinyl. "She heard my awesome wubs and wants to get my autograph before I'm on every billboard on Manehattan!"

"Or," called Octavia. "It could be a solicitor."

"Party-pooper," said Vinyl, opening the door. "Hello! Welcome to the home of DJ PON3. Hope you're here for some Pure Awesome, cause that's what I've got!"

The mare at the door chuckled. "The offer is appreciated," she drawled. "But unneeded. Vinyl Scratch, yes?"

Octavia froze. I know that voice!

"Yep!" Vinyl was saying. "What's your name?"

Octavia sprang to her hooves and galloped to the door. Her eyes fell on the mare -- her blue coat, her silver-white hair, her purple hat and cloak. "I..." she began.

The mare's gaze shifted. "Oh! Octavia! How lovely to see you again. Won't you introduce your..." She smiled. "Friends?"

Octavia nodded, her noble training kicking in. "Yes, of course."

She turned to the others and took a breath.

"Everypony, I would like to present the heir to the Duchy of Neigh Orleans." She paused for a moment, then continued. "Trixie Lulamoon."

Author's Note

Here's the new story!

As a reminder, the political system in the Cadanceverse includes royalty (Cadance), nobility (Octavia's parents, Trixie's parents), and also elected representatives (Monocle, and Fluttershy's dad). It's a bit confusing, but hey, so's real government. :-)

I love Vinyl's house. And trust me, we have not even begun to scratch the surface of the kind of awesome she's got stocked away in there.