chapter 1- my new life

well where to start, my name is john and i am 21 year old and, why am doing this! writing a journal about myself. well i guess i am doing this is because to keep myself sane through all of this. first off when my parents died i could not make it to school everyday because they would drive me there because i would wake up late. so i had to drop out because there was no point of trying anymore. i do not have a driver license and i had to get a job at a gas station that was a walking distance from my house. all of my life i was always just a loner, i really had no friends and the  one girl i actually liked move away from me. everyday is really the same thing, i wake up, i walk to work because it very close and i just feel like it and i work and then i walk home and then i just do two things that try to make me happy, play video games and watch my little pony friendship is magic until i fall asleep. sometimes days are different because sometimes during work we get robbed and sometimes i almost get killed. this is my life now and i wish it could change but the only real thing that make it better everyday is when i watch my little pony friendship is magic. every time i see their beautiful world i cry, all of their adventures and their lives together. in their world it always clam and peaceful. i sometimes wish i could live there in equestria with all of those ponies. i would love to be there because of the fact it so peaceful and there is no worries and it would make change my life for the better. sometimes i reach my hand to the screen hoping to go through it to their world, but then i touch the screen and i just turn off  my computer. my favorite pony is twilight sparkle because she is so brave and smart even in bad times. she is also so cute and she is so nice to everyone. sometimes i wish i could  have my own plushie of her, just to sleep with in  bed like holding her would make my life better. i am using a teddy bear from my  grandam as a replacer,  it does help a little bit but not much it is something that does work. i hope to get one soon.