A Bittersweet Day to Remember
Today was supposed to be perfect. It was supposed to be a happy day filled with joy.
But then, why was Twilight sitting inside an empty and dark room, watching the sunset with tears in her eyes?
She knew all too well, however. The same reason that many mares before her and many after have and will cry.
’Why does it have to hurt so much? Why? It was a foalish dream. Why should I cry, why should I hurt over something as foalish as a first love?’ Twilight thought.
Because at least you had your fantasies before. Now, they’re all impossible. All those imagined nights of happiness, all those words of love you have never actually heard. Impossible.’ Part of her mind reminded her, bringing about fresh tears.
’I know. It’s just not fair.’ Twilight thought as a part of her sadness turned to anger. “It’s not fair! She should have known! Why didn’t she say anything! Why did she just let me stay stewing in my feelings if she knew she’d never return them?!” Twilight screamed to herself as her anger faded back to sadness just as the other part of her mind spoke up again.
’Maybe, she never said anything because she thought it was disgusting. That you were disgusting.’ This thought would have brought more tears to her face had Twilight not known better already.
’No. She accepts all kinds of love.’ Twilight thought but her mind was quick to rebuke her.
’Except yours apparently.’ The thought stung. However, Twilight wasn't going to give up. She just couldn't believe that the first pony she loved like this would think something like that.
’She probably saw the signs and thought it was just the love of a friend or a kind of sisterly love. If she never truly knew it was there then it makes sense that she never brought it up with me. She’s not the type to just let something like this stagnate until it turns bitter…just...like this.’ Twilight’s head drooped away from the sunset. Her mind was quiet since she had remembered the main issue was not that her feelings had never been noticed but that now they could never be returned if she ever felt foolish enough to reveal them.
’Not only is it an impossible dream now. But, if she finds out things will be too weird, too awkward. Our friendship will be hurt too much.’ With a deep sigh, Twilight came to a decision. Not one that she liked, but one she felt neccisary.
’I’ll just keep it to myself. If I never say anything, she can never find out. If she never finds out then our relationship won’t change for the worse.’ She thought, her emotions in a strange fluctuation of sadness and purposeful direction.
’But it won’t get any better.’ The other side of her mind spoke up again.
’It doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t have worked anyway. She’s beautiful. Me? I’m some homely little unicorn who didn’t have any friends until she basically had them forced on her. She should be on runways. I live in a library.’
’It’s going to keep hurting.’ Her mind told her, causing her to flinch. Would it be worth the pain she was feeling to stay next to her?
’Yes. Yes it is.’ Twilight thought with a determined nod
There was a knock at the door, breaking Twilight from her thoughts. “Come in!” Twilight called, quickly cursing that habit she had gotten from living in a public building.
“Hey Twi? You in here?” The accented voice of Applejack asked from the door thought she had already heard Twilight answer. When she looked inside all she could see was the outline of her friend sitting in front of a window, the light of the fading day creating a silhouette, making it hard to make out any features of her. “What’re ya’ll doing all alone in here?”
Without turning around, Twilight attempted to make her voice as even as possible. “Just taking a break away from everypony for a moment. That’s all. Don’t worry about it.”
Applejack could tell the lie through her voice however. “Twilight? You aren’t still upset about what happened earlier, Are ya?” Applejack asked, getting slightly more worried as she spoke.
“What?” Twilight quickly asked. “Oh! No! No, no. You girls all apologized about that already and I forgave you all. It’s really okay.”
“Then what’s wrong sugarcube? I can tell you’ve been cryin’ over somethin’. I can hear it in yer voice.” Applejack explained
“It’s nothing!” Twilight, turned around, the lighting hiding her features as she exclaimed harsher than she meant. Taking a breath and turning back to the window, she tried again. “I’m sorry Applejack. It’s really nothing to worry about. It’s like an old would that’s been picked. It’ll heal again soon enough.” Twilight explained.
Applejack’s cringed at the imagery, slightly mortified that something sounding that unpleasant would be pushed under the rug so easily by her friend. “Twi…That sounds-“
Twilight interrupted Applejack, sounding almost pleading. “Please. Applejack. Just, just leave it be. It’s something I have to deal with on my own.” Taking a moment to compose herself, Twilight continued speaking. “Now. I figure you were sent to find me for a reason right? Not that I wouldn't appreciate it otherwise.”
Taken aback for a moment, Applejack remembered the reason she had come. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, Ah was lookin’ fer ya because Ah was supposed ta tell ya that the reception is happening out in the gardens.” Applejack explained, composing herself once again.
“Oh? They moved it from the ballroom?” Twilight asked simply.
“Yeah. The ballroom took too much damage from, well ya know.” Applejack explained, slight anger entering her voice towards the end.
“Yeah. I know.” Twilight answered sharply, anger entering her voice and thoughts. ’How dare they do that to her?! Twilight thought as she remembered what she had looked like earlier. Her beaten and starved form. Before Twilight could fall any deeper into her thoughts and anger, Applejack continued to speak.
“Yeah. Well, it’s out in the garden and Ah think Pinkie wants you ta sing. But if yer not feelin’ up to it ya don’t have ta.” Applejack explained
Twilight gave a sad, unseen smile. “No. I think I’ll be fine.” Quickly using her magic, Twilight fixed all evidence of ever crying and began making her way to the door where her friend waited.
“If ya’ll are sure.” Applejack said warily.
Nodding, Twilight spoke. “I am. Let’s go AJ. We have a couple to congratulate.” Twilight said to her friend, wearing a slightly convincing smile.
’At least I know she’ll be happy with Shiney.’ Twilight thought as they made their way to the happy couple’s reception.
Author's Note
So I had this idea after reading some TwiDance (Which I need to find more of) and needed to get it down on paper.
