Twilight Sparkle Vs. Paintball

IN THE DUSK CRUSADE'S BASE CAMP

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IN LOVE & LIFE'S BASE CAMP

   "They won't even hear it coming! It's perfect, Cady!"

SPLOOSH

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   "Ooops....was I interrupting?"

  "*censored**censored**censored**censored* you, Dream!"

   "Should I take that as a yes?"

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LUNAR-VISION CAMERAS PROUDLY PRESENT

     Up a row, stop, look around, continue. Repeat.

     And so I did, over and over, until I was fairly sure that I'd booby-trapped the entire floor and worn the carpet down some more. I sent a message to Twilight, informing her of the traps and how to avoid them all.

    Then, on a hunch, I went to the walls and looked behind a tapestry. Nothing but bare, open wall space. I grinned so wide I made the crescent moon hide itself in shame.

   I then proceeded to shamelessly use a cone of cyan magic to drill a tunnel through the wall. If I was right, the Archives would be ours before any of the other ponies or changelings or draconequuses even got there, possibly before they even thought of it!

   The prospect excited me even more than the actual accomplishment probably would, and with each rotation of the cone my imagination decided to take it upon itself to conjure up images of what I could do with the things that were in the Archives.

   Perhaps the age-old 'Invisibility Liquor' or possibly the spell 'Master Chameleon' would come in handy at times, or paintballs that could freeze or paralyze the target.

   But alas, I was getting ahead of myself. First I needed to drill through the wall for a hundred meters or so, then make smaller vents for aeration so I wouldn't suffocate, add magical light balls, attach it to the other tapestries in the library and possibly in the Archives, and then map them out or use magic to tell ponies where the entrances were. Like roadsigns.

   But inside a wall. And luckily for myself, the walls were very thick, thick enough for two side-by-side filly-size tunnels with a couple inches of sound-muffling for safety.

   The more I thought about it, the more work was entailed but the more perfect it would be in the end. Oh well. I might as well just worm my way around inside the walls for a couple of hours, then rest for a half of one to refuel my magic.

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MOONDANCER

    We slid through the rows of books effortlessly, me and Lyra. soon Bon- Bon would be out in the field, along with Berry Punch, Hoity Toity, Fleur de Lis, Fancypants, and many other nobles who jumped at the chance to get inside the palace and the Archives.

    Most of them just wanted to get in for the fact that it was Canterlot Castle. But there was a target, inside the wall. Wait, WHAT? The wall?

"Maybe we should check it ou-"

SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT

    "Hehe, Our apologies. This was a temporary experiment, it failed. Bye!"

   And just like that, the Diarch of the Night was gone, strutting past us to inspect our loot. What I didn't know was she inspected the loot, took all of it, and climbed back inside her wall-tunnel after we left.

   I'd only find that out later, in the exclusive magazine I got for being one of the first participants, though. Waaay after the fight.

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TWILIGHT'S NEW STRATEGY

    "Okay ponies, here's the deal. I called you all here to discuss a new strategy. As I'm sure you all don't know, Luna has been tunneling from tapestry to tapestry through the walls. She's used magic to brace it, aerate it, let you know where you are, etcetera.

    I have also devised something very helpful to our cause: the resource drainage strategy. Luna will tunnel all over, then dig massive storage caches between here and the Archives. After you eliminate somepony, wait for them to leave down the stairs then take the loot to the cache nearest to you via the tunnels.

    Carefully guard the secret of the tunnels, my friends. Now....um....go hurt something?"

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  SUCCULENT SCOOP'S ADVENTURES P1

    Oh, for the love of harmony, why did I get myself involved in this thing? Luckily so far I've been assigned to tunnel duty with Luna and Dinky Doo, safe tunnel duty. The way our little Rumba line works is

1: Luna digs the rough tunnel and makes it somewhat smooth

2: I smooth it the rest of the way and aerate it

3: That talented little filly behind me marks where we are with numbers and arrows and the like

4: We move on.

     I hope my next post is a lookout. That way I'm not n the way of anything, and my sniper gun sure will come in handy in that situation. There was also a joke-box filled with joke apparatuses that could fire paintballs. So now I'm running-crawling, actually-around with a paint-spraying bow-tie on my neck, activated by saying, rather loudly, 'Hocus Pocus'!

     I have never been so humiliated in my entire, thirty-five years of life as I am now.

     At least I'm allowed to bring in some co-workers, one or two for the other teams each. Shooting the snootier, look-down-my-nose-at-you-every-single-day-while-talking-in-an-incredibly-annoying-nasal-voice-that-will-get-me-punched-someday types, like the editors and publishers.

    Especially the formatters. Harmony, I hate those ponies.

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FROM THE VERY TOP OF THE LIBRARY DOWN, ONE COMMENT FOR EACH LEVEL

Level 67: *Crickets chirp in the distance*

Level 66: *The crickets can still be heard*

Level 65: *Cotton candy-scented fog seethes slowly towards the edge of the railing*

Level 64: *A midnight blue head pops out from behind a tapestry, but retreats nearly as fast as it comes out. Anypony standing next to the tapestry could've heard shushed whispering, then the hum of magic.*

Level 63: *Those harmony-cursed crickets are back.*

Level 62: *Absolutely bucking nothing.*

Level 61: * If one was to take a pair of ultra-zoom binoculars and look directly down, they'd see the shimmer of magical energies concentrated into a ball.*

Level 60: *......................................*

Level 59: *......................................*

Level 58: *......................................*

Level 57: *.....................................*

Level 56: *....................................*

Level 55: *...................................*

Level 54: *..................................*

Level 53: Hushed whispers can be heard coming from below you.*

Level 52: *.................................*

Level 51: *................................*

Level 50: * A heavily cloaked area of the level shimmers slightly with the strain being forced on the air around the bubble of spells.*

Level 49: *The midnight head proceeds to pop out behind the picture of a very flamboyant stallion in a white suit studded with diamonds. It disappears even faster this time.*

Level 48: *..............................*

Level 47: *.............................*

Level 46: *............................*

Level 45: *...........................*

Level 44: *Two barely-visible, pony-shaped outlines glide along in between shelves.*

Level 43: *..........................*

Level 42: *.........................*

Level 41: *A trio of unicorn fillies wanders along, alert and ready for battle, though they'll find none unless they run across the sneaky duo on 44.*

Level 40: *........................*

Level 39: *.......................*

Level 38: *A rustling noise comes from inside the wall. Nopony except those in close range could hear it.*

Level 37: *......................*

Level 36: *WHY THE BUCK ARE THOSE CRICKETS STILL HERE?*

Level 35: *.....................*

Level 34: *...................-SPLOOSH! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! KA-POPOPOPOP!*

Level 33: *...................*

Level 32: * The casual observer could chance to observe three whizzes of black, one brown, and a grey unicorn duking it out, casually splashing paint on the aforementioned casual observer.*

Level 31: *..................*

Level 30: *There seems to be nothing on the level but an extremely inconspicuous corner in which there are bookshelves creating a hidden enclave.*

Level 29: *.................*

Level 28: *................*

Level 27: *...............*

Level 26: *..............*

Level 25: *A black blur zings around like a pinball, avoiding booby traps frantically and sometimes barely by centimeters.*

Level 24: *.............*

Level 23: *............*

Level 22: *...........*

Level 21: *A lavender form takes flight and is quickly engaged by a white one.*

Level 20: *..........*

Level 19: *This time the body accompanies the blue head, sliding sleekly out of the wall.*

Levels 18-1: *...................................................................................................................................*