My Little New Kids: Maaskantje Is Magic.
Greetings from Equestria, kut!
It was a beautiful sunny sunday in the Dutch town of Maaskantje. Children were playing outside, parents siting in their gardens while drinking some coffee and Germans were enjoying the sun next to their caravan or tent. Nothing could mess this magnificent day up.
Well, I say 'nothing', but one thing just might be able to turn this day into the start of a revolution in world peace, or something.
We skip to the local campsite, next to the town. If you listen closely, you might be able to hear the faint shout of a concerned father. "Peter, limonade!"
At the swimming pool were five men enjoying their beer in their swimming attire. These men were Richard, Robbie, Gerrie, Barrie and Rikkert.
If there was a record for killing the most vampires in the world while naked, Richard was keeping it for a long time to come. (I say vampires, but they were actually zombies. They still think those were vampires they killed a few years ago.)
The local drug dealer was Barrie. He had the best stuff from Maaskantje to the next insufficient little village. He won't say much, but he can get shot though the heart and be like "Hey, look! A new hole! I'm gonna put my finger in it!". Now that is very badass or really stupid, but let's go with the former.
Rikkert was the only one with a drivers licence and a car. He was also the last one to get laid out of the five men.
Gerrie was that one guy you all know and like, but is dumb enough to let a crapload of stolen fireworks explode inside of this fathers house.
Robbie and Richard are both working as local street sweepers. Gerrie works in an electronics warehouse as the only forklift driver. And Rikkert has a job as the local car mechanic, even though he can't repair a scooter. Oh, yeah, he even stole a police car to win a race from his ex her ex-boyfriend.
Parked through a fence, was their infamous green Opel Manta. Worth noting are the machineguns on the top, the Happy Hardcore smiley on the hood and the cow catcher hanging off of the front bumper. This car was a tool in killing countless zombies, children and gangsta's. Also, this is the fastest car in the entire region because of its nitro tanks underneeth the passenger seat.
"Hey, kut! Throw me one of those Schultenbrau's!" Richard yelled at Robbie, who in return threw a can of cheap beer at his colleague and roommate.
"Open up the first portal"
"You guys hear anything?" Rikkert asked. "I thought I heard a chick."
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a blue thing appeared on the other side of the pool and an armored pony jumped out of it.
Barrie saw this and threw his half emptied beer can at the pony, causing it to flinch a bit when it hit its target in the face.
"Boom, headshot!" Gerrie pumped his fist up in the air.
The pony charged its horn and shot Barrie in the chest with a small burst of magic. Richard responded by shouting: "Kut!" and he threw his half empty beer can at the magical pony.
"You alright?" Rikkert asked Barrie, who only responded by jumping up and charging his fist at the pony's head, sending it into the swimming pool.
"This is all I need. Send in the ponifier."
A machine floated out of the portal and shot a beam in a random direction, hitting an elderly German couple.
"Kut! Did that thing just turn those old shits into horses?" Robbie asked no one in particular.
To wich Gerrie responded "To the caaar!".
While Gerrie ran to the poison green armored Manta, Richard, Barrie and Robbie kept throwing beer cans at the machine.
When Gerrie got control of the dual gattling guns on the top of the vehicle, he fired directly at the strange machine. Some stray bullets entered the portal and for some reason, the portal closed. By closing, the pony and the now heavily damaged robot-thingy were left at the campsite.
(Canterlot laboratories for interdimensional travel and peace.)
"What happened? How is this possible?" a pony scientist asked his collegue. "How did those savages hit you?"
The collegue coughed up some blood, the bulletholes still in her chest and head.
(Maaskantje, snackbar: 't Pleintje.)
"Several unknown machines all over the world have been turning people into ponies, we do not know where these machines come from or who sent them. Back to the studio."
"We need to know who sent these things." Richard said, chewing on his bakpau.
"What dumb kut would want to turn people into gay horses?" Rikkert asked his friends while eating his chicken nuggets.
"I dunno? The gay people in Amsterdam?" Gerrie answered.
Just as he said this, another portal opened up.
"Only one way to find out." Robbie sprinted to the car, Rikkert taking the wheel. Just as his friends were seated and the car was aligned, another armored pony jumped trough the portal.
Rikkert didn't waste any time and floored it, killing the pony on impact and entering the portal.
The pony scientists didn't even get the chance to see what had hit them, as the green blurr just killed everypony in its path.
Ramming open the doors to the city, the armored car moved to the castle at high speeds while playing Happy Hardcore from its speakers.
Meanwhile, princess Celestia and her sister Luna were having a nice conversation while sipping on some tea. What that conversation was about, we may never know. Because at this point, Barrie kicked open the door and perforated the two Alicorns with two machine guns, leaving bloodstains everywhere.
Gerrie just walked by while admiring Barries handywork.
"Nice job, kut!" he commented.
