The Book of Too Many Secrets
The Book of Too Many Secrets
I’ve always enjoyed Twilight Sparkle’s book collection. It’s the largest collection in Ponyville at least, and rivals the public libraries of many towns I’ve been to. She has so many books on so many different topics, I often wonder whether or not she’s read them all herself. But the primary topic of her library has always been magic, and that’s why I love it. It doesn’t matter that I’m an earthpony, I’ve always enjoyed books about magic. I’ve always seen it as an unsolved mystery, waiting for somepony like me to come along and pull back the curtain that hides its secrets. Unfortunately, I am no longer aloud in her library, a sad fact that I deeply wish I could change.
Let me explain: Not too long ago, no more than a month or so, I was in Twilight’s library (upon her permission) looking for a book on potions. My reason for looking for a potion book instead of a magic spell was simply because for once I wanted to use what I found. You may ask, what kind of potion was I looking for? A love potion. Well, I wasn’t exactly looking for a book on love, I was looking for an output that was something less noble. Something like lust, or seduction. I know, I know, I sound like a scumbag. But hear me out, okay? For quite a while now, my sex life has been rather stagnant (coughvirigncoughcough). I just needed a little something to put my hoof in the door. I know I could have easily gone to Zecora’s, and in hindsight I wish I did, but Twilight has always been so much more approachable. Zecora just seemed like a poetic alchemist that gave out more life lessons than she did actual remedies.
So anyways, there I was, running my eyes through the rather modest potion section of Twilight’s library. Twilight herself was out, I think buying quills or something else equally as lame. Spike was gone too, probably off working on some long checklist of errands Twilight had prepared for him. So I was left to hold down the fort, not a very important job considering Ponyville’s ridiculously low crime rate.
So back to Twilight’s books. Twilight always kept her books organized first into their specific topic of study, and then into alphabetical order by the author’s last name. Not once in coming here have I ever seen a book out of place. Except for that day. Call it OCD, but the moment I saw that ugly-ass, pink notebook I absolutely had to return it to it’s rightful spot. Judging by the fact that it lacked a title printed on the spine, that didn’t look like an easy task. So I removed it from the shelf.
Making Magic Work For You: Incantations and Spells for the Modern World read the cover. The title was rather strange, as almost every spell known to ponies was written over a thousand years ago. There wasn’t a pony in Equestria that could just make up a bunch of brand-new convenient spells, and publish them willy-nilly.
Nevertheless, it caught my eye, so I decided to take a look inside. Scribbled across the inside cover was not a table of contents, but a second title: The Diary of Twilight Sparkle - may it someday enchant those who read it. I looked around the room. Twilight and Spike were still out. Perhaps quills were harder to find than I thought.
I probably shouldn’t have read it, but temptation got the better of me. After all, who didn’t want to know what Twilight Sparkle thought about when she was alone? What was even more tempting was the title. Who was going to say no to being enchanted by the Twilight Sparkle? Probably most ponies. But not me! This was a once in a lifetime chance, and my moral principles weren’t nearly good enough to turn it down. I turned to the first page and began to read. The diary was at least four hundred pages long, and chronicled in detail every experience she’d had since she came to Ponyville. To this day I dare not utter a word of it to another soul, not out of concern for Twilight’s privacy, but out of fear that the things she described might actually be true.
As I finished reading the last page, as if on cue, both Twilight and Spike came in through the front door. Neither of them were carrying what they had originally set out to find, and they both looked highly agitated. One look at me and the book I was reading, and she had me pinned up against the wall in a magical bind. She approached me from across the room until her face was inches from mine. The look in her eyes told me to keep my mouth shut. From across the room, I could see Spike looking at me. He had a sorry look on his face. Somehow he knew of my terrible fate.
“I’d like you to leave,” she said, and with that she released her grasp on me. I was out the door in less than half a second. In thirty seconds I’d made it all the way home, and from there spent the next three days under my covers in the fetal position. I’d been offered a peek into the mind of Twilight Sparkle, and now having seen it, I regret ever having looked.
Since then, I’ve noticed something’s changed inside me. Something that wasn’t there before. It has to do with Twilight, as I cannot stop thinking about her. Her coat, her mane, her cutie mark. The way she frowns when she can’t find a book she needs. Even her name turns to sugar on my lips. I often catch myself lost in thought about her when I’m supposed to be working. Sometimes I dream about her, doing things to me that I’d rather not speak of. I now realize she’s perfect. I think she did enchant me with that diary. Or rather, she seduced me.
