A Changeling? In THIS Wedding? HELL NO!

by TheTrueDarkAce

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Random
Length: 1942

Let me tell you these guys know how to make objections.

This is alternate universe where at Canterlot, just before Cadence reveals that's not her someone gets to it first.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-21 15:30:21 UTC

Are You Ready?

The wedding was going underway, but unknowing to everypony there, the bride was a changeling, a being that feeds upon possitive emotions by changing into somepony that the host loves, and Shining Armor was that host. All of his emotions were almost gone and the only one who noticed this was imprisoned with the real bride, they're almost at the chapel but will they make it in time? Only time would tell. The Princess got in front of the bride and groom, getting ready to wed them.

"Mares and gentlecolts, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor." She looked at both of them noticing nothing wrong but the changeling couldn't be more excited! Her plan was almost complete and the only ones who knew were imprisoned! Nothing can go wrong!

"Princess Cadance and Shining Armor, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you..." Then the altar erupted in flames in all four corners and an organ could be heard along with a heavy guitar. Two men walked through the middle of the chapel, one was tall and wore a mask only revealing his mouth area and hair, while the other was short, and a full beard around his face. All who attended looked with fear at these two men and they had a demonic glare in their eyes. Applejack looked at the two and had only one thing to say,

"BY GOD! BY GOD IT'S KANE!" She yelled at the top of her lungs. The two men stood in front of Shining Armor, Cadence, and Celestia. They started nodding then the short one motioned for a microphone. A small filly handed him one and he WAS going to talk but he was interupted by the crying bride.

"What's going on? I just want to have my special day perfect!" She started to let out tear after tear but the two men just rolled their eyes. The short one handed the tall one, the one Applejack called Kane, the microphone.

"Quit it with the crying, your making it more depressing than it already is. So Daniel, do you think what we're doing is wrong?" He handed the microphone back to his teammate and he smiled while yelling,

"NO! NO! NO! NO!" The audience joined in with his cheering his chant and the three on the alter were confused beyond belief.

"We know your little secret! Princess Me Omlette Condense-Us!" Daniel had a serious look on his face while Kane was trying not laugh at his friend for messing up the name so badly. The bride had a more angry look than before, her eyes flickered green for a second. Celestia got angry and stared at the two.

"You better have a good reason for interrupting! The punishment would be great if..." Then Daniel Bryan put his finger on her lips and looked at her angrily.

"Look lady we're getting to that. You can't rush the Devil's Favorite Demon and the WORLD'S TOUGHEST VEGAN!" He then raised his hands in the air hoping for applause but none came to him, just stares. Kane took the microphone and scracthed his head.

"That's not really an accomplishment here, but besides that we stopped here because of one reason! The bride is..." Kane was about to reveal what the bride is, the lights turned green and a heavy guitar could be heard along with the words It's Time to Play the Game! Another man walked out but he was more muscular and he was balding with a small beard. Shining Armor was starting to man and the best villain this series could ask for the false bride started to sweat. The third man walked up next to Daniel and Kane, giving them pats on the back. He then proceeded to take the microphone.

"Quit with the stalling and..." Then the man got an angry look on his face and threw his arms in the air. He let out a groan and put his arm around her neck. Celestia gave him a death stare and asked,

"Are you with these two mister..." The man gave out a grin and said in the microphone,

"Hunter. Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Triple H for short. Enough about me, why I'm here and why Team Hell No are here is just mere coinidence. What I'M here to say is..." The fake Cadence erupted in green flames and revealed the changeling.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! YES I'M A CHANGELING! YES I'M THE QUEEN OF THE CHANGELINGS! YES I SUCKED ALL THE LIFE OUT OF SHINING ARMOR! YES I HAVE AN ARMY RIGHT OUTSIDE OF THE CASTLE READY TO ATTACK AT ANYTIME!" She yelled that out and all the audience was left speechless with their jaws dropped. Kane and Daniel fist bumped each other for a job but Triple H just laughed his head off.

"No not that! Everyone knew that! Even that mildly retarded horse with the rainbow mohawk over there knew that!" He pointed at Dash to show that he was talking to her.

"What I'm here for is to say, you can't get married, because... YOUR ALREADY MARRIED!" The crowd gasped and Chrysalis just got more confused.

"What?" She asked to Triple H. He pulled out a TV remote and aimed it at Celestia's head. A rainbow like substance formed over her and static was shown in it. He flipped through the channels until he got to one with a man in the shower. The man looked at where the screen was at and screamed at the sight of this.

"Hunter? What the hell? Seriously? While I'm in the shower?" the man asked covering his body. Triple H laughed and looked at the man.

"Sorry Shawn. Hey do you remember which channel the VCR is on this stupid thing?" Shawn scratched his head and then facepalmed.

"How can you be so stupid? It's on Channel 3!" Shawn said while grabbing the soap.

"Okay thanks, Shawn. See you on Monday, no posing for Play-Girl!" He punched the number 3 and a video started to roll. It showed a knocked out Chrysalis in a car and Triple H driving it. They drove for a few minutes and turned into a place that had a sign that stated Drive-Thru Weddings. Triple H started talking with a priest and he started to use Chrysalis as a puppet. Then the priest handed him a certificate and the two drove off. The camera turned around to show the same man that was on the screen before, Shawn, with a bouquet and he threw out the window a random street walker who fell down when it hit his face. The video then stopped and static was shown again. Hunter was smiling and Chrysalis had her jaw gaping open.

"How... how...did that?" She was saying stammering.

"You remember that drink you had before the reception? That wasn't an ice cube." Hunter said with a laugh and then he put his arm over her again. He gave out a laugh and put the microphone to his mouth.

"Let me tell ya, honey. This is the third time I interrupted a wedding, and the second one I stole someone's wife. Even though you weren't going to love him but make him into your own personal buffet." She got enraged by his comments and couldn't take it anymore. She charged back her horn hoping to make him stop his stupid rambling, but then the room got engulfed with the stench of onions and the smoothing talent of Smash Mouth started to play.  A giant, green behemoth walked into the room with a microphone in his hands.

"IT'S ALL OGRE FOR YOU LASS! Your not going to marry Fiona!" The confusion was going above and beyond the call of duty at this point. Rather questioning the insanity, the audience decided to embrace it. Chrysalis started to bang her head on the altar.

"Who in the HELL are you people? Your not even being original anymore!" The ogre jumped on the changeling queen and proceeded to stuff onions in her mouth and leg holes.

"Check yourself before you Shrek yourself, lassie." While he continued in his onion related activities, a loud crash came toward the eastward wall. A blue gremlin blaring Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" out of it's stereo left a gaping hole in the cathedral. A black haired man with a hat that said, "Wayne's World" and a blonde haired man with glasses stepped out with Twizzlers red licorice in their mouths.

"Ah sweet Garth I think we made it before Cassandra said 'I do.'" The black haired man said staring at the alter.

"Who knew she had her wedding all the way in Equestria. Sucked our gas tank dry twice." Garth said straightening his glasses. Chrysalis yelled at the top of her lungs punched (or kicked I don't freaking know) the wall beside her.

"JESUS CHRIST! IS THERE ANYONE ELSE WHO WANT'S TO INTERRUPT?!?!?!" Just as she said that a DeLorean appeared in aisle with fire behind it's wheels. The car stopped right in front of the others, an old man came out with goggles on.

"Chrysalis you need to come with me! It's your kids! Their in trouble!" Triple H went beside him and raised an eyebrow.

"Wait a minute, me and her have kids? Man how does that work out?" He scratched his head at the thought and dismissed it afterwards. Right after that a man ran through the doors and looked at the fire in the carpet with madness in his eyes.

"HOW DID IT GET BURNED?" He grabbed Pinkie by the throat and asked her that question multiple times. Each time she would just laugh at him.

"Your funny mister!" She laughed louder and harder. The man got a grin on his face.

"Hehehehehe. FUCK YOU!" He threw her out the window, possibly using his bipolar powers to his advantage. He went up to the stage and stole a microphone from Daniel Bryan.

"Hello I'm Nicholas Cage, I'm a police-man." He pulled out his wallet which had a police badge in it.

"See my badge?" At that moment his attitude did a complete 180 turn, which brought forth the madness inside him.

"YOU BITCHES!" He smashed the badge over Celestia's mug, which caused her to get knocked out. He yelled to the heavens while he was engulfed in flames.

"Now I'm even more powerful than Celestia!" He laughed maniacally and transformed into the devil's 2nd favorite demon, the Ghost Rider. Chrysalis had enough of this, she wanted this to end. Then the door slides open to reveal the next "guest." A slender man walked in wearing glasses peeping through the opening.

"Hello! Nice to see you guys again!" The man walked in and patted everyone in the room on the back. He knew them by name even though they seem never to meet him before. He walked up next to everyone else with a huge grin on his face.

"Ah. Shining Armor, great to see you again." Shining Armor was just babbling and drooling everyone.

"Let me fix you up old chap." He got what looked like a mechanized screwdriver out and pressed the button on it. He waved it around Shining Armor's face. Just like that he was snapped out of his confusion!

"W-wha-what happened? Who're you?" He pointed towards the man with the glasses.

"Oh this must be an earlier time than when I first met you. Anyways I'm the Doctor." He straightened out his glasses when he pronounced his title. Wayne got up next to him and asked him straight in the eye,