"So Fluttershy, what was it you wanted to show us?" Twilight said as she followed behind her yellow feathery pony pal.
"Oh it’s an animal, but I don't know what kind. I think it might be hurt." Fluttershy said to Twilight and the rest of the gang as they followed Fluttershy. "I didn't know what to do, you always were the smart one Twilight. I was hoping you could do something."
"I'll try." Twilight said with an unsure tone. as the came around a pagoda Twilight continued "I'll try Fluttershy, but you must understand that sometimes I just ca- HOLY MOTHER OF GOD THATS A GIANT FUCKING LAMPREY!" Twilight exclaimed in shock.
Before the ponies (and dragon, Spike came to.) was a hole, about as big as a picnic table, in this hole was a rainbow swirl of colors moving in a clockwise direction, jutting out of the hole was a giant sea lamprey, as wide around as two ponies, and as long as three (At least that was all that was sticking out of the hole, the lamprey's lower body was still inside the hole.) The lamprey was laying on the ground on it's side with it's back half going down the hole. Oh and it had a mustache and its eyes were derped.
"Meeeeeeeeeh!" The Lamprey yelped in a high pitched tone "Meeeeeeeh!"
Twilight looked at the other ponies, all of which were standing with their mouths ajar.
"So Twilight!" Fluttershy jumped in front of Twilight "Can you try to help it? Like, use your magic to send it home?"
"I'll try Flutters..." Twilight said, unsure and slightly afraid. "Here goes nothing." And then Twilight shot a beam of light out of her horn.
"Meeeeeeh!" The lamprey said as the light beam struck it. For a brief moment it's skin shimmered a rainbow color and then a rainbow laser beam shot from its forehead. Moments later they heard an explosion, looked over their shoulders and saw, to their horror, Canterlot falling off of its mountain in an avalanche of fire and debris.
"Ooooooppppppsssss......" Twilight muttered as her mouth fell open in shock.
"Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!" The lamprey yelped in it's high pitched tone.
"What do we do now!?" Fluttershy yelled in terror.
"Meeeeeh!"
"Ah got an idea!" Apple Jack said confidently "Come on Rainbow, gimme a hand!"
Rainbow Dash saluted and took position with Apple Jack on the side of the lamprey and began to push. But as soon as they began to apply pressure, the lamprey's mouth opened and its massive blue tongue came out and squashed the two ponies like flies.
"Meeeeeeh!"
"Sweet Celestia! Are you two ok!?" Twilight ran over to her downed friends.
"Ehhh Ah've had worse" Apple Jack said as she picked herself up and brushed herself off.
"I’m fine too." Rainbow Dash replied as she backed up to the group again.
"What do we try now!?" Fluttershy sobbed, she was hiding behind her hooves in fear.
"I could try charming it..." Rarity said as she stepped forward.
"Are you sure Rarity? You saw what it did to Rainbow and AJ!" Twilight said to her friend.
"Meeeeh!"
"I’m sure, sometimes you have to take one for the team. And I'm prepared to do that if it means ridding Equestria of that foul creature!" Rarity said with pride in her voice and her head held high 'For Celestia!" she said as she walked forward and stood in front of the lamprey's face.
"Meeeeeeeeeeh!" The lamprey said to Rarity
"Well, good day to you too Dahling! I was wondering if a big, handsome, giant lamprey such as yourself could be a gentleman and plea-" She was rudely cut of as the lamprey screamed
"Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!" again and sneezed all over the white unicorn. Neon yellow snot coated the poor mare."
".......You......It.....MY MANE! RUINED!!!!! WHY CELESTIA!? WHY?" Rarity screamed as she ran away crying.
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!"
"That is IT!" Spike yelled "No one messes with Rarity and gets away with it!" Spike was red with anger. He grabbed a stick off the ground and walked towards the lamprey. He raised the stick above his head and brought it down.
As soon as the stick made contact with the lamprey there was a loud pop, Spike was gone, and the earth around him was charred.
"Meeeeeeeh!"
"HOLY SHIT! HE BLEW UP!" Twilight screamed "SPIIIIIKE!!!!!" She started sobbing.
"Meh!"
"Stand aside girls, I’ll handle this!" Pinkie Pie said determined. She had......her tuba. Fluttershy watched in horror as her last unscathed friend walked up to the lamprey. She wondered what horrible plans the monster had for her pink friend. She couldn't watch.
Pinkie raised her tube tin front of the lamprey, but as soon as she started blowing the lamprey's mouth opened
"BLLLAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!" A giant stream of Rainbows came out of its mouth. When the smoke cleared Fluttershy looked over to Pinkie.
Pinkie was still standing and breathing.....but she was naked. As in her fur was completely gone. She was a nude pony, like, even more nude than ponies normally are.
"Oh...my..." Pinkie Pie said embarrassed. She quickly covered her shame and ran off embarrassed.
Fluttershy looked at her friends. She looked at Rainbow and AJ as they nursed their wounds, Twilight sobbing over the death of her friend, Rarity rolling around in the grass trying to get all the lamprey snot off, Pinkie Pie who was trying to pull up a bush to cover herself with, and lastly at the ruins of Canterlot, smoke gently rising off the rubble laying at the base of the mountain.
"That....Is.....ENOUGH!!!!" Fluttershy screamed enraged
"Meeeh!"
Flutters flew over to the lamprey to give it a piece of her pony mind.
"You think because your SOOOOO big and scary that you can run around doing things like this? You should be ashamed of yourself. What do you have to say for your actions young man?" She then.....she then gave the lamprey....the STARE. "Well? Speak up!"
The lamprey rose to its full length. Towering over the flying pony. It’s massive shadow looming over her. It opened its mouth to speak
"MEEEEEEH!" and then bananas started pouring out of its mouth onto Flutter Shy. Tons and tons of bananas. The stream of fresh bananas lasted for over five minutes before it stopped. Just TONS of bananas pouring onto Flutter Shy.
As the last banana fell out of its mouth onto the pile that was as big as Twilight's library and covering Flutter Shy, the lamprey just said
"Meh." and then slid down the portal nonchalantly and it closed.
FIN
