Chapter 1: The Gate Gaurd

Raphael tasted blood in his mouth. That was a bad sign, not that he bled but that he could still taste. Damn. He still wasn't focused enough to access his abilities granted by his higher form. So he had to improvise.

"If you rise again... prepare to fall once more," the guard said. The tall biped in gold robes and white helm didn't strike Raphael while he had the opportunity. Was it pride or some other edict that stalled his obstacle's action? The guard held a metallic staff with a headpiece on top. On one side, the sun and the other, the moon. The crescent moon side smashed into Raphael's face, leaving some what of an imprint on the man's cheek.

"This place is not for your kind. Turn back," the guard said, his voice stoic.

"Don't you mean 'our kind'?" Raphael asked. The guard was a biped too. Another human. His form was, anyway.

"I am not of your kind, human. I possess powers unlike any you have ever seen before. And if you press me, they will be the last thing you will behold." the guard informed him. His tone was still flat despite the obvious threat.

"Oh yeah? I got a few more tricks up my sleeve too. Why don't we just talk this out?" Raphael clutched the amulet at his neck. He still needed a little more time to build up his strength or find something to take advantage of. Kneeling and clutching the side of his face, he had nothing but open space and asphalt behind him, a massive gate to another dimension in front of him and a shiny golden bastard circling him like a hawk ready to strike him with a killing blow. So he tried to keep him talking.

"So... you come here often?"

The guard nudged Raphael's shoulder with the bottom of his staff. "Do not test my patience."

"What? No one's ever asked you about you before? Or should I say... nopony?" Raphael had to get under this guy's skin somehow.

"I was given this task by the Princess because I have the power to protect our realm. She has ordained that your kind is not welcome on our soil. You will return from where you came willingly or not."

Raphael smirked. "Better than the usual reception I get, I guess."

The guard wasn't falling for it. Using his staff, he pushed Raphael over from where he knelt. The suited man simply fell onto his back.

"Leave, or I shall kill you where you lie, biped," the guard issued his ultimatum. He was done messing around. Raphael had to think. Stalling wasn't working but maybe something else would. He looked up, hoping for some kind of indication of rain. Damn. He needed the rain, it was something he could use. With an ounce of his power. Raphael reached a hand to the sky and parted the clouds so that a ray of sun light shone through.

The guard looked up. He wasted the opportunity he had to kill Raphael as he was lying helpless to make sure he had not summoned some other threat. The guard raised his own hand and moved the clouds back into position. This subtle weather manipulation was just enough to stir the moisture a tad in the higher atmosphere. Too dense to be contained, water began to fall to the surface as rain. Which was exactly what Raphael needed.

His hand was still outstretched as the weather began to change. That was all he needed: change. A change in the wind, a change in the ground, hell, a change in the guard's voice would've been enough. But weather would suffice. Raphael focused on the rain as he performed one of his classic spells. He turned water into chocolate.

The guard still held his staff as the droplets began to fall. His golden robes and staff began to get stained by the chocolate. Raphael couldn't see his face but he could tell by the way he examined the chocolate rain, that the guard was confused. Confused enough that he wasn't watching Raphael's feet.

With a quick sweep, he knocked the guard off his feet. Taking advantage of the fact they were both on the ground, Raphael scrambled to stand as the guard did the same. Thunder roared out over head and the chocolate rain began to come down in torrents now.

"What are you doing?!" the guard yelled, his voice now showing more emotion.

"What's the matter? You want to trade that stick for an umbrella?" Raphael asked. He didn't have the power to alter the guard, not when he was so resolute. Given enough time he could though but for now he was more worried about the weather.

Raphael got to his feet just a moment faster than the guard. Seizing the opportunity, he lunged at the guard and grasped for the staff. The two tussled for it, the guard was physically stronger than Raphael, something he would have to overcome if he was going to get through him.

"I will not succumb to this drizzle."

"Silly me, I forgot the marshmallows didn't I?" Raphael focused on the clouds again. Marshmallows began to hail down onto the battlefield. The two began to get pelted by the soft treats but they began to stick to the guard's golden robes. Slowly but surely as the two struggled for control of the staff, they began to pull the guard down.

"You could've stopped this, you know?" Raph began pushing the guard back. The golden bastard began to get caught on his own robes as the two inched closer to the gate. The guard finally stepped on his own robes, he lost his footing for just a split second. Of course, it was obvious he wouldn't be able to keep track of his own feet as well as Raphael. Raph knew the guard normally had four legs anyway.

"All you had to do was keep an open-door policy!" Raphael grabbed the end of the staff and smashed the guard in the face with it. The bottom of the weapon clanged off the staff's helmet and he was knocked off his feet. The staff's head touched the gate, opening it as the two tumbled through and into the white portal beyond.

Raphael and the guard tumbled into the portal leading to Equestria, the land of power that was foretold of since the beginning of Raphael's family line! For the moment, all Raph could see was white. But he felt the guard, still holding onto to the other end of the staff as they fell. From standing on the flat plane between dimensions, now they were tumbling through midair.

"You idiot, I'm not due back until tonight!" The guard yelled.

"Well tell Celestia that you were pardoned from your duties!"

"Why are you doing this?"

"To save Equestria!" The guard looked at him with a strange look. He began to struggle for the staff once more.

Without warning, the guard let go of the staff. The white light turned into clouds. Strong wind buffeted Raphael as he fell until finally, his vision cleared. A beautiful landscape appeared before him. Equestria. Nothing but green as far as the eye could see. Raphael spotted the golden cloak the guard had been wearing, it almost hit him as it blew past him.

It wasn't hard to see why the guard had let go of the staff, he simply did not need it anymore, as the reinforcements had come to play. Raphael smiled as he noticed him, also plummeting to the ground to his right, tumbling through midair. The guard had changed back to his original pony form, that of one of Canterlot's elite royal guards. With his back to the ground, the royal guard noticed the biped who had tumbled with him through the portal. The fight wasn't over but at least now, Raphael had the upper hand, quite literally. He licked away the chocolate from his lips. He shifted his position until he was in control of his speed.

As he came down to the ground, he smashed his fist into the ground. A great quake surrounded him. The soil around him turned into a rock-hard miniature caldera. "Eeyup, chaos in its prime...*sigh*... whelp, time to get this party started!" Raphael decided that it would be best to simply daze the guards, instead of kill them, so he let out a cloud of concentrated chaos gas, which is like chloroform but twice as potent, only needing to be smelled by air, the guards were soon out cold, this sadly included the airborne pegasi, who crashed roughly to the ground. "Yowch! That just HAD to hurt, I should of made sure to ground 'em first... Oh well, my bad!... okay, this is too good to pass up..." Raphael put the guards into very sexual poses with each other and summoned some alcoholic drinks beside them "Oh! Can't forget these, now can we?" Raphael said as he put some of the guards in skimpy maids outfits, he then backed up and took a picture, making sure to show it to Celestia when he gets the chance. "Enough goofing around, I gotta fix this mess!" Raphael focused on the chaotic energies in the air, searching for the source of the madness, absorbing it's power as he went. "Look out, Gramps, here I come!"

Author's Note

Thanks to Barrobroadcaster, who made this all possible, and to none of the above, who helped get this puppy off the ground