A Pony Walks Into A Club...
Preview: Starlight
In a sky not unlike that of Earth's, a curious structure made entirely of clouds floated, illuminated by the presence of a waxing moon. Its exterior was dark, not only from the lack of a sun, but almost as if it seemed on the verge of breaking into storm. Any being brave enough to examine this particular structure, if they had the aviary means of doing so, would notice three things, each more perplexing than the last.
First, that the structure would often flash, as storm clouds often do. But unlike ordinary storm clouds, the flashes of light would be of vibrant colors, appearing all over the giant....thing, in sporadic patterns at random places. Every color known in the spectrum known to inhabitants of Earth, including a few others, were present in this spectacular but disorienting display.
Second, the "structure" was actually shaped into the likeness of a building, complete with an entrance that had an uncanny resemblance to a tunnel or shaft. This entrance also would display the same flashes of light that were seen on the outside, with a slight difference in quality. There was even a sign that encircled the entrance like the serpent Set, that read, "Mile-High Club! Pegasai Ponies Only!" And yes, it was also having an epileptic fit of coloration.
However, the last noticeable feature was the presence of several...well, ponies. It was as if the great Pegasus himself had somehow mated with several ponies, and the resulting offspring had inherited not only the great horse's wings, but also technicolor resolution as well! Most likely from the Olympian genes of his...seed, no doubt.
They were in all sorts of colors and shapes; most were loitering around the air, although some would go into or come out of the building of clouds.
One particular pony floated (for lack of a better word) in front of the entrance. A passerby might assume that he was a bit anxious to dive into the tunnel that seemed almost alive with color. That same hypothetical pony would be half-right; the pony was a bit nervous, but it was also deep in thought, musing over mysterious...stuff.
That pony's name was Starlight.
"Just for the record," Starlight grumbled," that's not my real name."
Yes it is, the author wrote. During this point in the story, that's the only one that you'll go by anyway.
"Oh, way to spoil any sense of suspense or mystery about my character!" Starlight looked slightly left, nowhere in particular. "Leave it to you to unconsciously sabotage any hopes of-"
No, the author replied. I haven't ruined anything. Watch, I'm about to make a description of your physical appearance.
Starlight's body was similar to the other pegasus ponies flying around. His wings were a bit larger, as was his body and muscle mass. He was by no means Arnold The Govenator, but he was easily the most built among those outside the structure of clouds. His mane was white as pure moonlight, with a curious grey streak on one side of the unkempt hair that ran all the way down to the end of his tail. His eyes were black as well, as were his wings and attitude toward the author. His forehead, or rather a portion of it, glowed a strange grey, almost unnoticeable compared to the symphony (or discord, depending on your preference) of colors that came from the building's exterior and entrance.
But a rather noticeable feature was a mark placed upon his flank. It was a crescent moon, not unlike the one in the sky, over a plain and rigid line of white.
See? We're still good.
"Whatever," Starlight muttered. "I still think the whole black thing is a bit overdone though-"
Duly noted. Take a number and keep moving the plot.
So Starlight, still a bit moody from his exchange, flew into the center of the tunnel of rainbow light. His first few flaps were a bit shaky, as if flying was still a newly learned concept. The tunnel itself was deceivingly long, but opened up into a spectacular sight, one that even Starlight was astonished by.
The inside of the building of clouds was, at least to Starlight, a club! Music that had somehow been unheard from the outside blasted his ears with unprecedented force, music that was familiar and hypnotic. In that way that makes you want to either act like a spaz or bleed from your eyes. Ponies, all appearing to have wings, danced upon a floor that seemed to be made of glass. Upon closer inspection, Starlight realized it was indeed glass. "How had they managed that, I wonder?"
Looking even closer (which prompted some strange looks from those around him), it seemed that underneath the glass was the source of ALL the colors. They swirled around, a constant mix of light and colors that was breathtaking to say the least. Keeping in time to the beat of the music, the colors would shoot out and create a dazzling stream that would travel to the walls of the "sky club". Orbs of light, somehow floating above short columns made of the same dark cloud material, served as additional illumination.
His hooves making short taps against the glass (even though nobody would hear them over the music), Starlight made his way through the crowd, being careful to stay on the outside of the throng that had been completely entranced by the techno. I mean, c'mon, it's a club. There's bound to be techno. Starlight had still not yet located the source of this music, although it seemed to emanate from the very walls of the club itself.
Eventually, Starlight found what he had come for. A bar that had been set up along the opposite wall-
"I'm looking for a person, not a drink," said Starlight.
First of all, you're looking for a pony. Second of all, who's becoming the spoiler now?
Anyway, this particular bar was similar to one you'd find at any club; lights all around, drinks on and behind the counter, couples shouting over music in order to be heard (good luck with that). A lack of seats elicited a frown from Starlight, but he hoped he wouldn't be staying long anyway.
After a short while, he was confronted by a pony who he had seen constantly trotting behind the counter. Starlight assumed he was the bartender.
"Hi there friend," the pony greeted Starlight. "I'm afraid you'll have to be drinking if you want to take up space near the bar. Anything I can getcha?"
Starlight grimaced. Most of the drinks he had consumed recently, not counting good honest water, was much too sweet for his taste. "Do you have anything that isn't going to leave me with a cavity?"
"Well," chuckled the bartender, "sounds like you need some of my own special recipe! Hang tight, I'll be right back!"
As the bartender walked off, presumably to retrieve his "special recipe", Starlight took a moment to look around. The rays of light seemed to mix in with the many colors of the dancing crowd, creating entirely new hues that would only last as long as a beat or wub would last. Obviously, not very long. Soon the bartender returned with a glass in hand, one that was identical to the ones Starlight had seen ponies use for drinking.
"Here ya are! Straight from the light itself!
After excepting the glass, Starlight noticed that it wasn't liquid. At least, not in a normal sense. The strange material seemed to move without direction, and changing its own colors as constantly as the hodgepodge of light underneath the dance floor. Starlight had almost assumed he was given a lava lamp.
He eyed the bartender carefully. "Shaken or stirred?"
The pony found this amusing, which made Starlight believe he enjoyed his job way too much.
"That there is a combination of the light from the Mile-High Club's lightspring and good old Sweet Apple Acre cider," explained the bartender. "It's a drink I concocted myself! Makes you feel lighter than air it does."
Starlight took a cautious sip. Indeed, the taste of cider was there, but it was almost as if he had breathed it in as air, air that then exploded inside his mouth with innumerable variations to the flavor! It was a most interesting drink indeed.
Starlight nodded to the bartender, "This is better than you say. How much for this one?"
The pony only shook his head, grin still present. "That one's on the house, since I know you're a pony with fine taste!"
"I imagine it would cost a couple bits to have a stock of Sweet Apple Acre cider though. Especially with it being so hard to come by these days...just what I hear anyway."
Only then did the bartending pony's smile falter. It was subtle, but Starlight had noticed. And he knew the reason why.
"There is actually somebo- er, somepony that I'm looking for. A, uh, friend told me that she works here."
The bartender narrowed his eyes, his grin becoming more and more superfluous. "Sorry, friend, but here at the Mile-High Club we don't employ any female workers. It's standard policy."
Starlight's tone took a more serious edge. "I'm pretty sure my friend wasn't lying. Somepony named Erin, I believe?"
At the mention of Starlight's mystery pony, the bartender's grin dropped completely. All the noise from the crowd and the music seemed to be secondary to the intensity between the two. Starlight looked deep into the eyes of the pony across him, and noticed a telltale glint of red that seemed to be growing.
Bingo.
"I'd like you to tell me where I can find her. You see, I'd hate to have to tear you a new one in front of God and everybody. Things like that tend to disturb the common folk."
El bartender's eyes suddenly grew dark, his voice twisting as if another's had been lain over it. "Give up, human. You will never find what you seek, even if you should pursue me across space and time."
Starlight reached over with alarming speed and grabbed the neck of the pony, pulling him closer to his face. "Haven't I already done that? You should have killed me like a man, instead of leaving everything to chance by throwing me and my partner into the damn portal!"
The darkness from the bartender's eyes faded, although the glint did not. He glanced over the right shoulder of Starlight, then to his left. Starlight suddenly felt two hooves drop on the objects of the bartender's gaze.
"Please come with us sir. You've caused disorderly conduct in the facility, and it is time that you leave."
Starlight turned his head to find two burly pegasus ponies standing on either side of hime. Although Starlight was built, as mentioned before, these two were most certainly bigger than he. Much more so. They each wore sunglasses, which the reader will find as odd, in addition to sunglasses on each of their flanks. Their grey pelts seemed to shun any attempts the light below made, and their stern faces suggested that Starlight was not in any position to cause trouble.
So, Starlight made the wise decision and complied.
Actually, he acted like a dumb-ass and shrugged off the two hooves, while still holding the other pony. An impressive feat.
"Why don't the two of you imitation bouncers go and stick your noses into each other's-"
Starlight was then cut off as the two "bouncers" moved as one, throwing him into the crowd and causing dancers to fall and scatter like so many multi-colored bowling pins. In fact, his impact had been so forceful that it cracked the glass where he had landed. His legs and wings in a tangle, Starlight struggled to stand, clearly dazed after having his ass handed to him.
Starlight bit back his retort he had originally planned to use on the author, and instead glared at the two grey ponies, who were now advancing towards him. "Strange," he thought, "I didn't think they'd be that strong. Something's not right."
The two ponies stopped. Their halt was then followed by a chorus of gasps from the surrounding ponies. The music had been turned off, and Starlight could now hear the voices that were directed at him in wonder and surprise. "Uh-oh," he thought. He glanced up at his head; the glow had been replaced by a long, slender horn that tapered to a point unlike one used in a kids show. "Well, damn. That hit must've messed up my concentration."
Well, no shit.
"So much for my ace in the hole."
Thats what ya get man.
The awed whispers around Starlight were mostly unintelligible, but he could make out one prominent word: "Alicorn, Alicorn..." Hearing that word made him narrow his eyes dangerously. Any cover he had previously had was blown now.
Around the time Starlight had finally gathered his senses, none other than the bar pony himself flew above the bouncer's positions, joined shortly by a pony whose coat seemed to be the victim of a rabid highlighter attack.
"Do not let this one escape! He is to be brought to the Master alive! Break his bones if you must, but do not end his life!"
Starlight allowed himself a small grin, one found on predators that find pleasure in tearing apart their prey. "Don't go too easy on me, you might not-"
The highlighter pony then raised his hoof; in its palm was a black sphere, which seemed to float only slightly. The ponies around Starlight suddenly ceased to talk, their eyes gaining a red glint similar to the one he'd seen in the bartender's. Their gaze focused on Starlight, who had the uneasy feeling that he was about to throw down with the entire group. It didn't help that the Mile-High Club had been popular enough to warrant quite the sizable crowd.
"Um," Starlight asked to no one in particular. "How the hell does that work?!"
Don't ask me. I'm just trying to write...
The sphere-holding pony screamed a command of attack, and the many ponies surrounding Starlight began to dart toward him one by one, by the air and ground, their intentions clear in their murderous expressions.
However, Starlight was ready.
The first pony's momentum was used against him, causing him to crash into another. Starlight's rear hooves caught the underside of another's chin, knocking him back but not out. One pony that flew from behind was shown the ole' one-two to the face, as well multiple strikes to his chest. One pegasus managed to land a hit on Starlight's flank, forcing him to roll with the blow and attack back.
To an observer, it seemed as if a single black blur was dancing in the center of a whirlwind that had no shortage of color. Starlight's moves were a bit crude, as he had not gotten accustomed to fighting with four legs yet. And while there were some who had managed to slip under his guard, Starlight was not one to buckle under the weight of the encroaching crowd of hypnotized pegasus ponies. His hooves lashed to either side, always striking the opponent he targeted. One on one, none of these ponies could have stood up to his skill, experience, or resolve on the battlefield.
Unfortunately, they didn't always come one by one. They came in twos, threes, even fours. They came from above, from the sides and back. And even Starlight grew tired, the endless tide of enemies threatening to swamp him.
After releasing the hold on a particularly stubborn one, Starlight's kick sent him flying into the group. But it still wasn't enough. And it was at this unfortunate moment that the two bouncer ponies chose to fight him next. The first moved to tackle him from the front. Starlight dodged, which put him in the way of the second's fore-hoof trajectory. Needless to say, he was thrown on to the floor, completely exposed to their follow up. But when it came, Starlight flapped his wings and scooted from under the hooves of the bouncer.
Starlight, now experiencing the orbit of several stars and stellar objects circling his head, realized the pony responsible for the sudden brainwashing effect was shrieking frantically at the two ponies. After a successful but sloppy counter against his newest combatant, Starlight realized that the hit the floor had taken after he had flown from under the bouncer had caused the crack to grow larger. The light that was pooled under the glass was starting to slip out, the hairline crack becoming slowly but surely larger.
"This whole place is built, powered by that mass of light," Starlight realized. "It must be pretty unstable, if all it takes is a crack to get the pressure to make it collapse."
Starlight was running out of options. The crowd of enemies wasn't going anywhere but toward him, and he knew he wouldn't be able to stand up to the Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum duo for much longer.
"Well," Starlight said,"Lets try this."
At that moment, three things happened at once: The author's cat managed to knock over his drink, causing him much displeasure: The commanding enemy pony screamed something along the lines of, "All of you get him at once you fools! The lightspring can't take any more damage!" Something like that.
And lastly, Starlight had stopped moving.
You might remember that Starlight had concealed a horn earlier. Knowing this, you might have wondered up to this point why he had not used any magic against his foes. The answer being, embarrassingly, he couldn't use any. At least, not like a normal magic user could.
As the crowd of enemies contracted, Starlight's horn began to glow with a wavy, grey aura. He held his eyes shut, blocking out the noise from around him, concentrating only on what he wanted his power to do.
Just when it seemed the group of brainwashed ponies would reach Starlight, his eyes opened, accompanied with a terrible blinding light. A cry of release (heh) bellowed from Starlight as his power was unleashed upon the floor beneath him.
A tornado, with winds reaching F5 speeds, touched down on top of the floor of the Mile-High Club, with Starlight at the center of the vortex. The winds tore at the clouds that comprised of the club's walls and ceiling with ease, and flung away the enemies too unfortunate enough to be caught in the way of the finger of God. But the real target, the crack underneath Starlight's feet, was pulled apart by the wind, as well as additional magical mojo. Light, in every color and hue, spilled out in a blinding surge that burned those who did not shield their eyes. The pressure that had built up did the rest.
Far beneath the Mile-High Club, a pony waited atop a hill, staring expectantly at the sky. He had waited for approximately two Earth hours while his partner was off doing... whatever he had intended to do on this mission. But, he had not seen fit to let his partner in on the rest of the game plan. The pony figured that he was still mad at him being found in that one mare's house. Or, more precisely, her bed...
Abruptly, the sky ahead of his position broke apart in a brilliant flash of multi-colored glory, accompanied by the roar of what can only be described as thunder of biblical proportions. His eyes struggled to adjust, but he was able to make out the outlines of several objects and figures plummeting toward the ground against the night sky.
"What....the....?"
The pony's perplexed expression was quickly replaced by one of concern. He realized that whatever had happened, his partner was in danger. Sprinting toward the falling debris, he hoped that he wouldn't be too late to reach him.
"Hang on Starlight, Brian Jesse O'Connor is on his way!"
Starlight's body fell through the air, surrounded by the wreckage caused by his spell, as well as the bodies of all the ponies he had fought. As he watched the clouds that had once made up the Mile-High Club dissipate in the wake of the remnants of his spell, his body slowly began to feel the effects of his last resort.
His wings refusing to move, he was forced to watch the result of his handiwork. He wondered, "how many of these ponies were actually involved with that bastard that brought me here, and how many were just looking to have a good time?"
As the ground rushed up to meet him, his final thought was that of an entity of malice and nightmare, a devil who had turned his world upside down during an assignment gone wrong.
And that of a little girl who he would go to any lengths to rescue, even if it meant destroying this world.
Author's Note
As noted before, this is a PREVIEW. Please treat it as such.
