The Tattered and Troubled Trixie

by Hammy

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Trixie
Length: 3615

I am not a bad pony. I do not do the things I do because I am evil. I just want her to notice me again, to love me again; and I won't rest until I get her attention.

I am not a bad pony.

I do not do the things I do because I am evil. I do things I do because I used to be loved, and I used to be inseparable to her. She was my everything when I was a filly, the mother I never had, and I imagined spending the rest of my life with me under her wing.

Then she abandoned me, stopped paying attention to me, teaching me new tricks, and spent her time with another filly, a "more promising student," and I was left out in the rain. She never knew how much it scarred me that day.

I do not do the things I do because I am evil.

I do the things I do to get her back.

Image credit goes to Maxiter at this site here!

Published 2013-06-30 08:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-30 08:40:01 UTC

The Tattered and Troubled Trixie

Baltimare was a bust, again. The Ursa Minor incident had been told countless times here too. A filly actually stopped me, and said that her mommy told her I was a bad pony, and I shouldn't be trusted. That was a week ago, and I haven't stopped thinking about it. I'm a bad pony? Am I really? How could I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, ever be considered a bad pony? The quieter the night, the more I think that maybe the filly was right to think that.

No, I am not a bad pony.

I am Trixie, I put on shows to prove to the world that I am capable of anything. I get their attention with my fireworks, my stage acts, and, of course, my superior magic skills. Before Ponyville, people would line up to see me perform! I would sign autographs, have pictures taken, and do encores upon encores for the masses.

But for all the attention and praise I received, I never captured the eyes of the one pony that truly matters to me. In every crowd, I would search for her, eager to see her smile and be captivated, proud of what I've made of myself. She was the mother I never had, she taught me everything I know, and back then, I couldn't imagine her leaving my side.

How foolish I was.

I was an orphan; by death or desertion, I'll never know. I do know that I left my orphanage at a very young age, destined not to whither away in such deplorable conditions. I had to get by somehow, so I started doing parlor tricks on the street. Disappearing items, simple light shows, things that most unicorns were just learning about at my age. The way the other fillies and colts awed at my tricks, grown mares' amazement that a such a young pony could perform such feats. It made me very proud, and despite my conditions around me, it was a happy time in my life. I had to have met hundreds of ponies by the time the most important one came by on a casual stroll: Princess Celestia.

I had only heard tales of the Princess from passersby, and it didn't take me long to figure out all the stories were true; she looked breathtaking, her elegant mane, her regal stance, everything about her screamed grace. I was stunned at the sight of her, and when she passed me, just a dirty, homeless foal, it was like staring at the complete opposite of myself. I stood there, soaking in all the beauty that was radiating from her. I knew this was my one shot; if I could impress the Princess, she would give me enough money to feed me for a lifetime! I had to pull out all the stops, and I knew I had to show her my one true talent.

My horned glowed intensely, pulling all my arcane energy into one grand spell; the one spell that would impress anypony, even a princess. I thought of all my dreams, everything that I ever hoped for, and channeled it all into one fantastic display. A burst of light flashed just as the princes went by, fireworks rained down on top of her, a multitude of colors streaking from every angle, and finally, the thought that summed up my first encounter of the ruler of Equestria: "You are simply amazing, my Princess."

Celestia's eyes dazzled at the display and a smile crept on her lips. She liked it! She really, really liked it! I couldn't believe it, of all the times I performed in front of ponies, this was the first time I actually felt powerful, like I could levitate all of Canterlot! I started having a laughing fit as soon as the spell resolved. I looked up towards the Princess, and she was still smiling, but she wasn't looking at me. Not at my face anyway, it was like she was looking slightly behind me. I turned to see what was the matter, and I noticed my transformation; I found my one true calling, awing people with my magic, captivating and dazzling them with my arcane might. This was what I was best at, and I loved every second of it.

"My, now that was an impressive display! Especially for such a young filly like yourself! Tell me, what's your name?"

"I'm Trixie, ma'am! I just love to perform, and I'm so glad you were able to see my last trick. I would say it's my best yet!" You could hear the pride oozing out of my voice, I felt more and more invincible by the second.

"Well Trixie, I wouldn't know how to top something like what you performed! Where are your parents? I'm sure they must be very proud of you!"

My...parents? To be honest, I tried to keep them as much out of my mind as possible. I was still very young, and it never crossed my mind that it was normal to have parents. I never had a parent figure, so I had no idea what I was missing. To me, not having parents was just the way I lived, not good or bad, just normal.

"I-I don't know, I never had them, ma'am."

The expression on her face suggested this wasn't the first time she heard somepony say that, but the sadness was still apparent, "So, you just take care of yourself, hmm? With skills like that, I'm sure you get lots of donations. Even full grown ponies wish to have the talent that you have. Never forget what you are capable of, because you have great potential Trixie, and I am honored to meet somepony as great and powerful as you!" Princess Celestia bowed at my feet, and my body went numb. Is this even real? The Princess is bowing to me? I jumped up and down in excitement, and I ran up and hugged her, the first time I ever did it with any sincerity. I started crying tears of joy, and she laughed in response.

"Thank you Princess, thank you so, so much! I'm going to become the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria!" I squealed. I "You know, I run a school for very gifted unicorns like yourself. If you really want to become the most magical unicorn, you should come with me and enroll, I will even make you my personal student."

I was stunned for a moment, jaw dropped and mind blank. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I was about to become Celestia's personal student! I couldn't say yes quick enough, and before I knew it, I was heading off to Celestia's castle. Thoughts were flooding across my mind: excitement, curiosity, doubt. I had no idea what to expect. I huddled close to Celestia as she explained the school, and what I would be doing. "You see Trixie, all the great unicorns have participated here, either as teachers or students. When it first started, Starswirl the Bearded taught the most advanced students when he became too old to actively write and perform spells. Since then, we have maintained a long and varied curriculum, one that strives to bring out the very best of everypony! You see-"

Two hours had passed, and Celestia had shown me around the school, and where I would be staying at. The majority of my time would be spent with the Princess, teaching me the finer details of magic, followed some free time to play and study, dinner, and bed. We started on my training immediately, with her showing me how to more efficiently channel my magic. "Just empty your mind of everything, and focus on what you want to do. The more you focus, the more powerful your spell will be!"

I focused on something simple at first, just a simple levitation, but I wanted to impress her, show her she didn't make a mistake taking me under her wing. That tree did look like it could use an uprooting...

I focused solely on that tree, on making sure that tree would know how it feels to fly. I emptied all my thoughts, of all my worries and cares, and I could see was that tree levitating. An aura swirled around it, my magic taking hold as sweat starting beading down my face. Seconds passed, and suddenly, my magic gave out, the aura disappearing instantly as I fell flat on my face. I started to cry, failure filling my everything thought. As I sobbed into my hooves, I felt another on my shoulder.

"There's no need to cry, Trixie. Nopony gets everything right the first time. It takes lots of time and effort to create something, and even longer to perfect it. As long as your determined, I know you'll send that tree into the air." Princess Celestia's smile stopped my tears. She hugged me and pressed me against her, and I knew she was truly looking out for me. This new feeling was incredible, and as I clutched her, all I could think of was that I never wanted it to end.

"Yes, it is I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, here to show you yet another amazing feat! Despite what you may have heard, I can show you that Trixie is indeed the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria!"

Canterlot wasn't much better than Baltimare, but at least nopony booed as soon as I got onstage. I walked along the same street that I spent my fillyhood on. It was largely the same, gray pavement that I performed on. The same view of the shops and the castle in the distance. As the cool night air brushed my fur, I started gazing around the city, memories filling in the empty roads. It was the exact opposite of what it's like now. No hate, no threats. Just me doing what I do best.

I found the alley I slept at, and idly looked around, remember this and that, stumbling upon something I used, when I heard a faint whimper. I sprinted towards the end of the alley, and found a tiny filly in a garbage can, shivering and clearly scared. "Hey there, what are you dong here?" I asked. She jumped and crawled to the back of the can. "It's okay! The Great and Powerful Trixie won't hurt you!" I pulled out an apple and held it to her. She slowly crawled out and grabbed it, "There you go, now, what's your name?"

Two years had passed since Celestia took me under her wing, and we've been inseparable. She treated me like her own daughter, and for all intents and purposes, she was my mother, and we cared for each other just like any family would. I have learned so much with her, and I have complete confidence in my abilities. I am still very young, but I am already the most magical pony in the entire school! It could only get better from here!

Until my mother decided to bring home a "sister".

"Good morning, Great and Powerful Trixie! I have a special surprise!"

My head popped, and I felt a bit of unease at the statement. What kind of surprise would she have? It certainly wasn't any special day, and I haven't been extra extraordinary lately. I ran to the door to see what she could possibly have in store.

And that's when I saw her.

A small, purple unicorn, not too much younger than I was, with different shades of purple in her mane. She seemed all too eager to come into my room. She stopped in her tracks, and we both stared into each other's eyes. "Trixie, this is Twilight Sparkle. Twilight, Trixie. I'm sure you all are going to become the best of friends! Why don't you all get to know each other, and I'll be right back!"

As Celestia left the room, Twilight looked around the room, and introduced herself personally, "So, I'm Twilight, like Princess Celestia said, and I can't wait to learn everything there is to know about magic!"

I was uneasy about this "Twilight Sparkle". How come I wasn't told about her earlier? I kept my distance from her, answering only what I had to from her, and went straight to the throne room. I walked over to the Princess, happy to get my lesson underway, "Hey Celestia, I'm ready to learn my new spell!"

"Oh, Trixie! I forgot to tell you, I'm actually going to teach Twilight as well, and her first lesson is going to happen in a few minutes. Why don't you take a day off? I'm sure someone like the Great and Powerful Trixie can handle one day without a lesson!" She gave me a wink walked past me. Despite the cheery reassurance, I felt nothing but dread. This was the first time I was denied a lesson. Me? The Great and Powerful Trixie? I was the most powerful student in the entire school, why would she spend her time teaching somepony else? Especially somepony like Twilight?

Maybe I'm just over thinking it. As soon as she sees that Twilight is nothing compared to me, she'll come back with hooves wide open! It is only one day, and if will get that purple impostor out of the picture, then it'll be worth it.

"That's a sweet name, Faith. Now tell me, what are you doing here all alone?"

"I live here! This is my bed, and I get food from the nice shop owner across the street. He makes the most fantastic bread, and he teaches me from time to time too!"

I knew exactly who she was talking about, Wheat Thresher. He was indeed a kind stallion, and he did the same for me when I was just a young filly. I smiled as I remembered the stories he used to tell me about his farm back home. "It's good to hear he's just as sweet as ever."

We talked for what seemed like forever, about how it used to be my home, and how I was rescued. "So wait, you were rescued by a princess?! Does that make you a princess too?!"

"I wish! The Great and Powerful Trixie deserves no less!" I laughed, my voice with the same boom as I have at my shows. The stings of insults came hurling back at me, as wave after wave of shows came rushing back into her memory. I slumped, and Faith must have took notice.

"So, you're the Great and Powerful Trixie? I never met someone like that before! Show me some of your magic!"

I performed one of my opening tricks, just a quick illusion spell that draws people in, and as I resolved it, I looked at Faith, and she was completely captivated. She had seen nothing else in her life, and she was amazed by the pure sight of it. It was completely unlike what I'm used to seeing now.

"That was so awesome! Do it again! Do it again!"

"Oh, Faith, that's just the tip of the iceberg from the Great and Powerful Trixie."

It's been two months since Twilight has came in, and I now know my place. I'm no longer the one and only filly in the Princess' eyes. The longer Twilight has stayed, the fewer my personal lessons have become. Celestia now holds them for her, and she has no more time for someone like me. How can that be? I am most powerful unicorn in the entire school, she told me so herself! Yet, now, she has somepony else to teach, to laugh with, to love. I am no longer that place in her heart.

That's why I'm leaving.

I'll show her I'm worth her attention. She was wrong in picking Twilight. Twilight is nothing compared to me! I'll make sure that everypony knows my name! She doesn't know what she's missing!

I wiped the tears from my eyes, packed my things, and set off. As I went onto the same roads I walked on so long ago, I quickly got to work proving myself. My experience before I set out to the castle proved to be my greatest asset, as my natural showmanship quickly gathered a crowd around me. I performed everything I was physically able to. Levitation, illusions, teleportation, the works. Minutes quickly became hours, and by the end of the day, I was as exhausted as I had ever been in my life. I had everything to prove, and the crowd was amazed at my feats.

"Thank you everypony! I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria!"

I waited a week in Canterlot, seeing if Celestia would try to get me back, search for me, something. But nothing happened. I haven't heard a single word from the castle. I couldn't believe it. I decided that if I was going to make an impression on her, I had to spread my influence. I decided to go from city to city, performing to everypony, and proving to them that I am every bit as Great and Powerful as my name says! Eventually, I'll be more famous than Celestia herself! She'll have to come back! I will not be made a fool of by anypony, and she will see that I was the right choice all along.

I went to Manehattan, Colterado, and Foalida, with each more impressed than the last. My performances were becoming grander, as I learned how to combine my more extravagant spells. Self-teaching was way different than what I was used to, but it was extra rewarding to figure out something new. It became commonplace to always try out at least one new spell during a performance, and the risk was well worth it. Soon, I became known all across Equestria, and crowds gathered hours before I was even going onstage. I knew that it was just a matter of time before the Princess would appear, take me back and tell me how wrong she was in deserting me. All just a matter of time...

But it never came, I always looked across every crowd over the years, straining to find the one pony I always wanted to see, but she never showed. Not once. The Great and Powerful Trixie was never great or powerful enough to summon her. I loathed her for it, despised her every spare second I had. I slowly, painfully realized it was no use. I was renowned all over Equestria, years of hard work and dedication poured into everything I had, yet my name was never uttered in the castle walls. There was only one city that was left to try, Ponyville.

"And now, The Great and Powerful Trixie will show you the most fantastic trick of all!"

It was well into the night by the time I was done showing her all my spells and tricks, and Faith was floored by every one of them. She clopped her hooves together, jumped and danced around, and squealed every time a spell resolved. The best part was, I was laughing and jumping right along with her. I never had time to just laugh, to have a good time with all eyes peering on me. There was always the goodbye though, and my life didn't leave much room for friends.

"Sadly, The Great and Powerful Trixie has to go. She has a lot of cities she has to cover, and she has to get started right away."

"No! Please don't go! I don't know if you could tell, but I don't really have any friends, and tonight was probably the greatest night of my life! There has to be some way you can stay." Tears welled up in her eyes, a pout face staring back at me as I struggled to contain my own tears. Then, an idea clicked, maybe there was a way she could continue to see her after all.

"There's no way Trixie can stay, Faith, but maybe there's a way you can come with me, and be my Incredible Assistant to the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

Her eyes instantly lit up, and she wrapped her hooves around me, screaming in her highest pitched voice. She packed what little she had, and instantly jumped in my cart. "The Incredible and Amazing Faith is ready whenever you are!" She said in her most bombastic voice. A smile plastered on my face, and ran up to the front, and shouted, "The Great and Powerful Trixie is ready!"

I may never get the recognition I so desperately want, and, deep down, I'll always keep looking in the crowd for any sign of her. But maybe what I needed all along was somepony to believe in me. I'll never be as famous or loved as much as I once was. Ponyville will never see me the same since I put on that amulet, and Equestria isn't too fond of me for it either. But I don't need the love of everypony to know I'm great and powerful, I just need the love of the ones that are closest in my life, and they will be the love worth having.

I am not a bad pony, I know that for certain now. The filly was wrong, but it's okay. I know in my heart that I am the best pony I can be, and even though I mess up, I will always have the love of one certain filly, and with that, I will always be Great and Powerful.

But really, was there ever any doubt?