MLP: Friendship is Meatbags

by mooneyboys

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 20231

Takes place between SW KOTOR One and Two. HK-47 comes to Equestria. Enough said

This story takes place between Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic one and two and after MLP Season 3.
We all know that somehow HK-47 was seriously damaged by the time the Jedi Exile found him. And we all know that he was damaged sometime after the first game. This story shall take place that instead of being destroyed, he was mysteriously transported into equestria.
Do i need to say anything else?
Credit to AwkwardTaco for new title to the story
SPOILER WARNING!
This story will take parts from SW KOTOR that are huge plot twists in the game into the story. So if you are playing the game or don't want spoilers from the first game DO NOT READ THIS FIC! read at your own risk. now on with the story!
Proof-reader: Twi-Guy
Note: finally got around to posting a image for the story XD lazy me

Published 2013-06-28 01:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-17 21:20:49 UTC

First Contact

Twilight was off enjoying her day off in the Canterlot Gardens. It has only been 3 months since her coronation and already she was exhausted. She has mainly been helping out Princess Celestia deal with her day to day life, mainly helping the princess out with the courts. And by that it means helping out the “nobles” as they whine, complain, and accuse each other.

This is the first time in those 3 months that Twilight got a break. And she isn’t about to let it go to waste. She calmly walks through the stone statues. She was admiring one of the said statues when she “felt” something coming. There was no other way to describe it. She couldn’t hear anypony coming nor did she see anypony.

That is until she saw this…. thing. She had no idea what it was. It stood hunched over between two statues and was taller than Princess Celestia. Its rusty red coat made the thing look intimidating. It carried some sort of weapon on its arm. One of its arms was oddly out of place. Twilight could tell that this thing has been in some sort of battle for its entire body has scratches and dent and burn marks.

Twilight fearfully stayed where she was. She had no idea what this thing was and it could harm her or others. On the other hoof it looks deactivated so it should be safe, right? But there was something bugging her about this thing. Why was it here? How come nopony else noticed this thing here? What is it? And why is it deactivated? If somepony deliberately placed it here, why bother not turning it on?

Slowly Twilight walks over to the object. This close she can tell it is some sort of machine. “This is so weird” Twilight thinks to herself “It is obviously a machine but it isn’t pony made. The most advanced thing we have is an automobile or those rave lights”

With great care laced with fear, Twilight inspects the damaged arm. Well it isn’t damaged technically. Dislocated would be a better term. Like when a pony’s leg gets dislocated. Only instead of pony flesh and blood you have metal and wires. Some of the wires have been dislocated and were nearby some sort of wire port. Thankfully these wires were color coded so even a filly could put this back together. She used her magic to put the wires back into their intended locations and pushed the arm back into the place.

Suddenly Twilight hears a humming sound come from the machine and she takes a few steps back in fright. As fast as the humming noise starts the noise ends and where his eyes are supposed to be glows red. Not a friendly red mind you. This was a red that was eerie and cold. A red that inspired fear in you. The red eyes of a killer.

The machine stood up straight. Twilight originally had no idea how tall this thing really was! It was almost as tall as discord! It turns his head and looks around at his surroundings completely ignoring the alicorn. Twilight is frozen in fear. She wasn’t scared of Nightmare Moon when she escaped. She wasn’t afraid of Discord. She wasn’t even afraid much of Sombra. Yet this thing hasn’t even done anything and she can’t help but be completely terrified of the thing.

Finally the machine turns and looks at Twilight. Its menacing red eyes soften somehow when it looked at her. “Query: Master where am I?” The machine asked. It sounded nothing like Twilight ever heard. It sounded metallic, cold, and emotionless at the same time.

A few seconds pass and Twilight realizes that the machine is talking to her. “umm are you talking to me?” She asks. “Response: Why yes master. You are the only meatbag around within voice recognition are you not?”

Twilight was confused now. Didn’t this machine have any idea where it was? Why was she its master? Meatbag? This doesn’t make sense at all. She has seen more sense come from Pinkie Pie and she’s…. Well Pinkie Pie. “What exactly are you? How do you speak our language?” Twilight asks the machine.

“Statement: *sigh* questions questions questions…. You sound like my previous masters. As for your questions I am HK-47. I am an assassin droid. My primary function is to burn holes into meatbags you want dead. So with that do you have a meatbag that needs to die master? As for your second question, I really should be asking you that. How did I manage to get onto a backwater planet that hasn’t even invented the gun much less a machine capable of hyperspace travel that somehow speaks galactic basic is beyond me. My memory banks indicate that the republic hasn’t even found this planet yet!” The…. “droid” says to her.

Twilight is currently trying to process all the information the droid told her. She owns an assassin droid? It has killed ponies before? It wants to kill more!? Galactic basic? Ponies have made hyperspace travel? The republic? Its official this droid is crazier than Pinkie Pie.

The droid apparently gets inpatient because he asks her, “Master I understand you’re really confused but can it wait for the moment? I really REALLY want to shoot something right now”

“What!?” Twilight asks HK-47. “You want to harm other ponies!?” “Oh yes master! But only if you allow it or any meatbags attempt to harm you, which they won’t with me around.”

Twilight can’t argue with HK-47 there. The droid is pretty terrifying. Fluttershy would only need to hear its voice to run away screaming. Maybe she should see the Princess about this problem
.
.
.
The princess! Of course! Why didn’t think of this already? The princess will certainly know what to do about this! “Come on HK-47, there’s somepony I want you to meet.” Twilight tells HK. “Sarcastic statement: Oh goodie… More meatbags to meet. I swear if they are anything like the companion my last two masters I have I’ll break my programming and take my blaster rifle to my memory core and pull the trigger.”

Twilight just stared at him in confusion. How many other masters did he have? Are they all dead? Or did he just get sold like a common object? “Other companions? What do you mean?” Twilight asks it. “Statement: Master although I am required to obey you without question I would like to ask you if we can wait before we dive into that topic. It’s a really long story.”
And with that the two companions go walk off into the throne room of the castle to see the princess of the sun.

When the two made into the throne room it was full of nobles. The entire room looked toward them and were shocked at what they saw. The room, once full of noise and chatter, was now deathly quiet. Nothing could be heard but the noise of HK’s feet clamping on the ground.

“Hello Princess,” Twilight greeted Princess Celestia. “I need your help on something. “ Twilight then smiled sheepishly. A moment of awkward silence follows Twilight. That is, until HK started speaking. “Query: Master which meatbag am I supposed to meet? And which ones can I shoot?”

“Everypony out now” Princess Celestia tells the crowd of ponies. Every single one obeys but one. “Blueblood Nephew you need to get out now!” Celestia tells Blueblood. “But niece! What is that “thing!? And why does ‘she’ get to stay!?” Blueblood first complains to Celestia, then points to HK-47, and finally to Twilight”

“Threat: Call me a “thing” one more time and I’ll make sure you lose a limb meatbag” HK warns Blueblood. “Excuse me!? What did you just say to me!?” Blueblood shouts at the droid. “Blueblood,” Princess Celestia warns him. But he doesn’t hear her. “I’ll have you know I’m a prince! I’ll put you into a scrapyard so fast that you won’t even have time to say ‘threat’!” Blueblood threatens HK-47. “Mock statement: Oh you’re a prince are you? Oh goodie. Implied threat: I’ve been meaning to put a prince on my list of royalty killed.”

“HK-47 stop it! You can’t kill him! No matter how much he deserves it” Twilight tells HK-47. Blueblood by this point is fuming. “What did you just say? ‘No matter how much he deserves it’!? Who are you to judge me!? You are just a ‘common princess!’”

“Blueblood that is enough!” Princess Celestia yells at Blueblood “Get out! Get out now! This doesn’t concern you!” Before blueblood can complain, she uses her magic and throws him out of the room. Celestia then sits on her throne and lets out a great big sigh.

“Statement: I could help ease some of your troubles. I have found out that many nobles are quite pains in the-“ HK was cut off by Twilight, “HK! Don’t say things like that.” “Statement: *sigh* fine. Swearing protocols offline.” HK grudgingly replies.

“Twilight what is this……” Celestia asks, but hesitates trying to find the right word for HK “Machine. What is this machine?” Twilight was about to reply but HK cuts her off. “Query: Master can I answer for myself here? Since this involves me.” “Ok HK, I guess you can.” “Statement: Thank you master it is very much appreciated.”

Celestia looks at HK-47 and asks him a series of questions. “So…… HK, what are you?” “Statement: I am Hunter Killer 47, Or HK-47 for short. I am an assassin droid. Anyone that my master wants dead, she’ll send me out to kill them.” Celestia already looks horrified but she continues on. “Are you going to kill ponies here? And where did you come from? You obviously aren’t pony made.”

Twilights ears perked up when she heard that. Not ponymade? Then that means it isn’t from this world, since ponies have the most advanced technologies out of all the countries in Equesrtria. And it can’t be gryphon made, even though they are the most militarily advanced country, since Twilight hears they don’t have rave lights like they do here in Equestria.

“Statement: That is for time to tell. I only kill because my master wants some meatbag dead or my master is in danger. However I do not always have to kill ponies. I am capable of killing wookies, rodians, humans, twi’liks, ithorians, and even hutts and jedi. As where I came from….. That is a long story. I do not wish to tell my story more than once. Is there anyone else that should be around to hear this tale?” HK asks the princess

“Well I would assume Cadence and Shining Armor would need to hear this. Along with Luna. Oh and the other element bearers should hear this too.” Celestia says then gives off a big sigh. “And I guess my nephew will have to hear this as well. I think that’s everypony.”

“But princess,” Twilight says before Celestia cuts her off. “Twilight we’re both princesses now remember? You don’t need to address me as such. Celestia will be fine.” “OK…. Celestia.” She tries out. “Celestia, wouldn’t the other countries need to know about HK-47 as well?” “Statement: That would be unwise master. If this planet is anything like the other backwater planets I have been on, then at least one country would be highly aggressive of an unknown droid being introduced to the planet. They would probably declare war on this country to be rid of me. Query: By the way, what country am I on?”

“Twilight take him to your quarters and answer any questions he has while I go inform everypony that needs to know what is going on so they can come to Canterlot.” “OK Princess- erm I mean Celestia” Twilight says to her mentor, earning a smile and a giggle from Celestia.”

“Come on HK-47. Night is coming” Twilight tells HK. “Statement: Master it isn’t even close to being Nighttime. “ This earned a grin from Twilight. “Celestia can HK-47 watch the moon rising today?” “I’m sorry Twilight” Celestia tells Twilight. “The two of you will have to watch the moon rising from your quarters.” “Ok then. Goodbye Celestia” And with that Twilight and HK-47 head off to Twilight’s quarters.

“Query: Master what do you mean by watching the moon rise?” Twilight could only smile. “Come outside. You’ll see in a minute.” Reluctantly HK-47 followed Twilight outside onto the balcony. The sun was still high in the air.

Before HK can make a reply the sun suddenly took a huge drop from its position in the sky. The sun fell all the way down, past the mountains and the ground. Then as fast as the sun fell the moon has taken over the sun’s position. The moon is now where the sun used to be. The stars have now come out. Shining brightly in the night sky though HK can’t see them.

“Statement: This goes against everything I have been programmed to understand. No meatbag should have the power to move a moon much less a star. Not even the jedi and their force can do that.” HK says to no one in particular. “The force? Don’t you mean magic?” Twilight asks HK. But before HK can reply Twilight gives off a yawn. “Nevermind. We can talk about it tomorrow. Goodnight HK-47.”

“Very well master. I shall keep watch until morning. Droids don’t need sleep. Pleasant dreams master.”

Both of them walk back into the room and both take different positions. Twilight goes and lays in her bed while HK-47 took a corner in the room, charged his weapon, and stood absolutely still.

Sleep did not take Twilight easily. Her mind just couldn’t stop thinking about what happened earlier today. Who could blame her though? It’s not every day that you meet an advanced machine…. Erm droid, who is not only aggressive to anyone but her, but is NICE to her…. In a way.

When Twilight finally did fall asleep her thoughts were on whats going to happen tomorrow and the following week when the girls and her BBBFF and his wife come and meet it. Tommorow is going to be crazy indeed.

Author's Note

So here's chapter one of this story. I decided to do this because i happen to notice no one has done a story about everyone's favorite droid! If you played KOTOR you know what i mean.

Second Contact with a side of violence

Twilight was waiting next to Celestia and Luna as they wait for the girls, her BBBFF and his wife to come through those doors. HK-47 was in the room next door so they don’t see him yet. She was nervous and excited at the same time.

She was excited that she was about to meet her friends after being separated from them for so long. On the other hoof she’s nervous on how they are going to react. Shining is probably going to be a protective brother as usual, Rainbowdash or possibly Applejack will get hurt trying to harm HK-47, Rarity will faint on the spot, Fluttershy will be paralyzed with fear, and Pinkie Pie…… Let’s pray to Celestia nothing bad happens to her. Twilight has already found out that the droid can sort of feel annoyance. She doesn’t want to know what happens when you push HK-47 over the edge.

Suddenly the doors to the throne room open and all her friends and family come inside. “Girls it is good to see you again!” Twilight exclaims as they share a happy group hug. “Sugar cube it’s good to see you as well,” Applejack tells her. “Yeah Ponyville just isn’t the same without you!” RD tells her. “Why darling it’s always good to see you again, but what are we here for?” Rarity asks her. “You’ll see in a minute Rarity,” Twilight tells her. Suddenly Pinkie Pie is in her face, “*Gasp*OmgomgomgtwilgightitissogoodtoseeyouagaindidyoumissusbecausewemisedyouSomuchinPonyvillehashappenedwhileyouwereawaylikeforexample-“ Before Pinkie can say anything else Twilight shoved a hoof in her mouth. “Pinkie don’t worry. We’ll have much time to catch up later. “Oh Twilight it is good to see you again.” Fluttershy says to Twilight. Twilight could only smile. “It’s good to see you too Fluttershy.”

Then she goes over to Shining armor and hugs him as well. “BBBFF it’s good to see you again!” “Twily I Wouldn’t miss this for the world.” He tells her.

“Cadence!” Twilight greets her foal sitter and sister in law. “Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!” They both say as they go into a fit of laughter. “It seems I finally got my wish has finally come true” Cadence tells Twilight.

Meanwhile a certain assassin droid was watching the entire greeting rounds. Being very cautious and making sure his voice amplifier is set to whisper, “Query, did I just see my master do……. Whatever that was? Statement: This blaster rifle seems real friendly right about now. A world full of talking ponies, Pegasi, and unicorns. And I can’t hunt any of them! Query: Why am I talking to myself? Answer: It doesn’t matter, I’m HK-47”

“So Twilight why did you summon us?” Rainbowdash asks Twilight. “Yeah sugar cube, why did ya?” Applejack asks as well. “And us as well,” Cadence asks. “Sister, that reminds me, why did you summon me?” Luna asks her sister.

“Twilight I think it is time you showed everypony here,” Celestia tells Twilight. “Yes Celestia,” Twilight agrees. Everypony is looking at her. They are waiting for her to do something. Which of course she does.

“HK-47 you can come out now!” Twilight seems to shout to nopony in particular. Everypony except Twilight and Princess Celestia is confused.

Suddenly everypony hears footsteps coming from down the hallway. CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! They went. It unnerved everypony in the room. Fluttershy was already hiding behind a brave faced Rainbowdash who is terrified on the inside.

Very shortly later HK-47 turns the corner and enters the room. Everypony that hasn’t seen it before gasped in fear or in in awe.

Unsurprisingly when Rainbowdash saw It she charged right at him. She stopped 3 hooves lengths away from it and started screaming, “Who are you!? What are you!? Are you a spy!?” Before she can say any more HK-47 beats her to it.

“Threat: I recommend you get out of my face meatbag before things get ugly” Its deadly red eyes stare at Rainbowdash. Inspiring fear and terror into any normal meatbag. However Rainbowdash is a different type of meatbag.

“MEATBAG!? Who are you calling a meatbag you …. You….” Rainbow had trouble finding a good insult to throw at the droid. But it turns out, she doesn’t need to.

Faster than anypony in the room thought possible HK-47 seemingly out of nowhere pulls out a blaster pistol and points it at Rainbowdash’s head.

“Annoyed statement: Haven’t I told you to get out of my face already meatbag? And what do you do? You don’t listen and now you have a blaster pistol being pointed at your head. Threat: Make any sudden moves and you’ll find out if there truly is an afterlife. All meatbags seem to wonder about that”

“HK-47 don’t do it! You are not allowed to kill anypony here, especially in this room!” Twilight commands the droid.

“Objective statement: But master this meatbag got in my face and will probably have threatened me. Am I not allowed to defend myself?” HK-47 replies while lowering the pistol down to its side.

“Yes you are HK, but that’s just her nature.” Twilight tells it.

“Statement: One of these days her ‘nature’ is going to get her WAAAA!” HK-47 screams as it Is Pinkie pie’s turn to get in the droids’ face.

“HiI’mPinkiePiewhat’syourname*gasp*ohmygoshyou’renewherearen'tyouThatmeansweneedtogiveyouawelcomeparty!WillitbeawelcometoEquestriaorawelcometoPonyvilleparty*gasp*orwecouldhaveawelcometoEquestriaANDawelcometoPonyvilleparty!Ohmygoshthisisgoingtobesoawesome!Therewillbecakeandballoonsand–“ Before the hyperactive pony can say anything else Applejack
“Erm sorry about that mister HK-47, Pinkie Pie tends to get carried away a lot.” She tells the droid.

Droids can’t be surprised or shocked, but if they could then HK-47“Observation: So I’ve just noticed. Request: keep that meatbag away from me. I fear I might actually go insane from being with that meatbag.

Statement: Master there is someone else here with us.” HK-47 tells twilight. The droid puts away the blaster pistol and somehow has a Mandalorian Assault Rifle and is pointing it at a corner of the throne room. Its hum of the energy cells can be heard throughout the entire room.

Everypony in the room looks at the corner and sees nothing. But just when Luna was about to correct the droid a pair of eyes pop out of the wall. Fluttershy, who is still hiding behind Rainbowdash, calms down significantly and manages to let out a small smile.

“Discord, you can stop hiding now. HK-47 is a friend” Fluttershy tells the pair of eyeballs.

As fast as they appeared, the pair of eyeballs turns into a draconequus. “Hmph I’ll believe that when it stops pointing that weapon at me. And frankly dear Celestia I’m insulted that you forgot to include me in our little group meeting.” Discord tells everyone in the room

“I'm sorry Discord, It is taking me a while to remember you are no longer in stone, forgive me.” Celestia asks Discord. “Fine, I accept your apology but only because I probably would have made the same mistake if I was in your shiny hoof slipper things.”

“Observation: This figure is obviously grotesque and has a small annoyance with you meatbags. He seems very capable of making discord, as his name suggests. I like him.” HK-47 says to no one in particular while lowering the blaster rifle.

“So Twilight, is this thing the reason why all of us are here?” Cadence asks Twilight. “Yes, it is. Celestia thought it would be a good idea to let all of you know, and to try and figure out if it is dangerous” Twilight replies.

“Statement: First off, this ‘thing’ can hear you. And secondly I am very capable of killing everyone in this room multiple ways. Starting with explosives, mines, poison, gas, and good old fashion blasters, yes it would be easy to kill everyone here.”

“So you think your ‘blaster’ there can pierce the armor of the royal guard huh Do you have any idea who you’re up against?” Shining armor cockily asks the droid.

“Shining don’t” Twilight tries to warn her brother but it is too late.

“Response: Yes and for the most part yes. See this blaster here? This blaster is capable of piercing republic soldier armor. Now let me tell you that armor is designed to stop blaster fire like this. In more primitive terms, this blaster, with one shot, can go through roughly 4 dozen feet of solid steel. Though its effective range isn’t that far due to the fact that blaster rifles are rather inaccurate at long ranges, but it can fly for well over a mile before hitting the ground at 0 feet below sea level on flatlands. Not only that but this blaster is capable of firing 1537 rounds a minute if needed, though that isn’t recommended due to the fact the blaster would start to melt by round 1000.

As for the second question, I have been talking with my master earlier today and found out that unicorns, like yourself, have the same principles of ‘magic’ that I know as the force. I am capable of killing Jedi, who are force wielders. Granted none are powerful enough to move a moon much less a star, but unless you are capable of actually using a ‘spell’ to stun an electric proof, waterproof up to 5000 feet, infernos up to 300 degrees Celsius proof, and force resistant Hunter Killer 47 droid, I could single handedly murder all of Equestria starting with your pathetic excuse of a ‘royal guard’.” And to emphasize that point HK-47 points the blaster rifle at the wall and fires a single shot.

The blaster goes off with a loud P-DEW that echoes through the throne room, making everypony in the room jump and flinch in fear and awe. Where the blaster shot, there is now a large hole the size of a quarter in the throne room. Some of Celestia’s sunlight can be seen through said hole.

“Statement: But do not worry. My master has ordered me to not kill any meatbags without specific permission from her. So that means unless you attack first, I cannot kill you…..yet.”

Shining armor was speechless. He is staring at the hole that is in the wall. He was marveled at the size of the hold and the fact that it went through the entire castle. However before he can snap out of his zombie like trance, another voice beats him to it.

“HOW DARE YOU!” Fluttershy screams at the droid and charges at it. “How could you possibly want to hurt all these ponies when all they want to do is make sure if you are dangerous or not! I should tell your mother mister!” Fluttershy yells at him while giving him the stare, which surprised everypony in the room.

HK-47 however, was not amused. “Mock statement: Oh no, please don’t tell my mother! Response: If I had a mother! Correction: What you meant to say was creator, and it wouldn’t have made a difference. My creator and once was my master would be thrilled that an unknown species to the republic that is trying to decide if I am dangerous or not is being threatened by myself. In fact they would probably encourage me to try genocide and kill every one of you equine meatbags.”

He then proceeds to grab Fluttershy by the neck with one of his hands and pins her to the wall. “Note: remember this meatbag, Mind games do not work on me. And I am the most dangerous thing on this entire planet. Remember that” And with that he drops Fluttershy o the ground. The now terrified beyond wits Fluttershy runs and hides behind Rainbowdash again. This time she doesn’t even look at the droid.

“HK-47!!!” Twilight screams at the droid.

“Confused query: Master why are you mad at me? I have done as you instructed and not killed your meatbag friend. I only terrorized her; I haven’t even injured her except maybe for a sore throat.” HK replies.

“That’s it! Nopony hurts Fluttershy!” Rainbowdash screams and charges at the droid. “RD NO!” Applejack screams at Rainbowdash. But she was too slow. She barely missed Rainbow’s tail by about an inch or two. Rainbow takes off with her wings and flies up to the top of the throne room. As fast as she flew up she flies down and points her fists at HK-47.

That is as far as she got before all hell broke loose. While Rainbowdash was flying up toward the roof, HK-47 was already aiming at the pony’s wings. Eager to see how she’ll scream, the droid takes the shot and puts a round right in her wing.

“AAAAH!” Rainbowdash screams in pain as she loses her control of her wings and instead of flying at an angle, she plummets to the ground. Just as she was about to hit the ground a golden aura surrounds her and gently puts her down.

“Twilight get your droid under control!” Celestia commands Twilight.

“Objection: How is this my fault? I was merely defending myself from an obvious attack from the winged meatbag. Besides I didn’t kill her.” HK tells Celestia.

“He is right you know. Rainbowdash did try to attack it,” Discord says, supporting the droid.

Celestia then turns to HK-47 and says, “We’ll deal with you later. For now we must deal with Rainbowdash’s injuries. When we come back we’ll finish the situation with you.”

And with that Celestia, the main six, shining armor and Cadence leave with Rainbowdash to check on her wounds. All that is left in the room is HK and Discord.

“Statement: Well that turned out quite different than what I expected.” HK tells Discord.

“Oh? And pray tell, what did you expect from this?” “Answer: Why that is simple. I expected a mass assault leaving everyone in this room dead and me having a huge sum of credits on my head.” “credits? I have never heard of such a thing. Here we use bits” Discord. “Correction: fine. I’ll have a huge amount of ‘bits on my head’”

“Oh please. Having a bounty is nothing compared to what I have been through.” Discord brags. “Challenge: Oh please. My adventures with my masters will top anything you could ever throw at me” HK replies. “Oh yeah, we’ll see about that.”

And so, while one group goes and tries to heal Rainbowdash’s wound, the other group trades stories. One has stories being about chaos, the other about assassinations and war, all over who has the better stories.

Author's Note

And here's chapter two for you guys. Now some of you have pointed out that there are grammar mistakes i this story and that is where i'll need some help. I am in need of a proof reader to catch these grammar mistakes. However I am too new to Fimfiction to figure out how to get a beta/proof reader so if one of you can help explain to me how to get one and/or volunteer yourself to become this story's proof/beta reader that will be very much appreciated.

Questions Questions Questions

About an hour passed before Celestia and the group came back into the room with grim faces.

“Assumption: I take it your meatbag doctors couldn't heal the wound?” The droid asks.

“Unfortunately, yes. I hope you’re happy now. Because of you one of my subjects cannot fly anymore.” Celestia hostilely tells the droid, surprising everyone in the room.

“Is there any way to heal her HK-47?” Twilight asks the droid.

The droid sighed. “Answer: Of course I can master. Clearly you meatbags haven’t been introduced to kolto. Bring the meatbag in here and I can heal her.”

After much hesitation on Celestia’s part they bring in the injured Rainbow Dash. Her face scrunched up slightly with the smallest movement of her wing. The few loosely tied bandages were already starting to soak through and a nurse hovered in the background with a fresh tray of gause. Rainbow glanced up to see her friends who offered comforting smiles and soon made eye contact with the machine. Rainbow’s eyes shrunk and her pupils dilated as every instinct told her to fly away. She flapped her wings uselessly which only caused her more pain and only stopped when she felt the gentle touch of Twilight’s magic.

The droid, seemingly out of nowhere, takes out this red, heart shaped, bag thing and squishes it. When he opens its hand again, the bag had been crushed into a cylinder like tube with a needle on the bottom of it.

“Command: Master bring the meatbag over here”

When Twilight laid her wing on Rainbow Dash, she started to resist. But with the help of Applejack, the two were able to bring Rainbow Dash close enough to the rusty red droid.

Without a moment’s hesitation HK-47 takes the needle and stabs it right into Rainbowdash. This, of course, earned a gasp from everyone and a scream of pain from Rainbowdash. But as fast as the stabbing was, the wound is already beginning to heal right before every pony's eyes. Everypony, even Discord, was astonished at how fast the wound has healed. Not even the best magic users can heal a wound that fast.

“What…..What is that stuff you injected into her” Twilight asks the droid, still awestruck. Everypony else nods in agreement as well for the question to be answered

“Answer: Oh it was nothing really master. It was just a bunch of chemicals mixed in with the miracle substance known as kolto. As you saw just now, you stab the needle into the target and watch their wounds disappear before your very eyes. It has kept almost every single one of my masters and their companions alive when they were wounded.”

“That is impossible! I have never heard of this ‘kolto’. Not even before my thousand years of banishment” Luna tells the droid. “I agree with Luna here. Not even during my reign have any of us have heard of it.” Discord says.

“Answer: That is because there is only one planet in the entire known universe that produces kolto. And since none of you have ever set foot off this planet except for that meatbag there,” HK says and points at Luna, “much less been to another solar system it is not surprising in the slightest.”

“Why do you always insist on calling us meatbags erm…. Hk-47?” Rarity asks the droid. “And for that matter where did you get that stuff anyway?”

“You don’t have any saddlebags to carry them.” Twilight asks and observes.

“Statement: Ah yes….. You had to bring that up huh master?” HK asks her, to which she nods her head in yes. “*Sigh* Very well. But please note master that this is very difficult to explain.”

For some reason everyone in the room took that as a sign to find a seat and listen to the story.

“Statement: Like I said earlier. This will be very hard to explain to you meatbags. I am capable of carrying significantly large amounts of supplies with me with no restriction of movement” As HK-47 said that, he takes out a couple mines of varying types, several blasters both legal and illegal, a few dozen grenades of each type, a crate of medpacs and antidote kits, a wookie bowcaster, and several different types of armor. “Note: This is very light compared to what my previous master and his companions carried. Hell my master must have easily carried well over a ton worth of supplies by himself. He was always quite a hoarder on our adventures. And yet he still manages to defeat and meatbags that dare cross with him.”

“But where do you keep it?” Twilight asks.

“Statement: That is the hard part. I believe that my former masters, his companions and myself are some of the few people in the galaxy who are capable of this. We marked it off as a flick of the wrist and whatever weapon you wanted that you own will appear in your hand. The same principle goes for grenades and mines and even armor.”

“Oh! Oh! So it’s like how I manage to make things appear out of nowhere!?” Pinkie asks while she pulls her party cannon out of nowhere.

“Response: Yes, it is exactly like how you just did that.” HK replies to Pinkie Pie.

“Oh great! We have two pinkie pie type creatures now!” Rarity dramatically complains. “I know! Isn’t it awesome Rarity!?” Pinkie excitedly replies.

“So can you tell us more about the armor? They look nothing like the plates the Royal Guard uses.” Twilight asks the droid.

“Yes darling please tell us about these fashionable looking armors” Rarity says to no one in particular while she levitates a purple war suit. “Oh my, it’s so heavy!” She complains and nearly drops the armor.

“Query: You do realize that is one of the lighter ones right meatbag? There are others significantly heavier than that fine piece of work. You do have a good eye though, as the previous owner spared no expense making the best quality armor money could buy.”

“This is one of the lighter ones!?” Rarity cries out.

“Annoyed statement: Yes meatbag, I just said that after all.” HK-47 tells Rarity

“Who used to own that suit?” Twilight asks the droid.

“Statement: Ah yes. That one was originally owned by Davik Kang. It’s a shame I didn’t get to see him die. But that is a story for another time.” HK tells Twilight.

“Is it possible for ponies to be able to use these?” Shining armor asks the droid.

“Theory: It is possible, given enough modifications, for a small equine of your size to be able to fit these highly advanced suits. Though that can take months possibly years before we’re able to mold the armor into the shape you need, as you meatbags have primitive lifestyles and probably don’t have a furnace capable of melting metals of the galaxy. Opinion: In all honesty you would be better off using an energy shield. At least they can adapt and fit your entire body.”

All 5 royalty in the room ears have perked up when they heard the words ‘energy shield’.

“Energy shields? What does thou mean?” Luna asks the droid.

“Yes, show us this, ‘energy shield’ you speak of,” Celestia commands the droid.

“Irritated response: I do not answer to you meatbag! Threat: I suggest you hold your tongue before I do something about it” HK threatens the solar princess.

“HK-47! Stop threatening the princess! And would you kindly please show us this energy shield?” Twilight commands the droid, then asks it.

As soon as she finished her sentence, HK-47 stuck both his arms out at a 30 degree angle. Suddenly a red, wave-like glow surrounded the droid. A dull bleeee can be heard from the droid now.

“Statement: This is an energy shield. It is capable of stopping every single energy based projectile shot at it. However any physical weapons or anything nonphysical can go through the shields no problem. In addition, continuous assaults on the shield will eventually short the shield out and leave the target vulnerable yet again.” The droid explain to the group.

“Hmm this is very interesting HK-47. I’ll need you t-” Celestia said before getting cut off by a guard rushing into the throne room.

“Your majesties!” He manages to get out between breaths. Celestia uses her magic and the guard takes a deep breath. “Thank you your highness.”

“You’re very welcome. Now what is so important that you need to interrupt us?”

The guard takes one deep breath out of reflex and says, “Dragon. There’s a dragon attacking Ponyville.”

Author's Note

Pardon for the long delay I had a family vacation and didn't bring my laptop with me. Big thanks to Twiguy for proofreading this chapter. He has been a big help to me. Hopefully the quality has improved even though this chapter is shorter than the other two.

Gonna be a fight tonight

“Ponyville!? How can you tell!?” Twilight panicky yells at the guard. With a touch of Celestia’s wing she calms down enough to stay quiet. “It’s ok Twilight.”

“Guard, when did this happen?”

“Unknown,” he replies. “We only noticed the smoke 15 minutes ago”

“Query: Smoke? You have dragons here and they can breathe fire?” HK asks him.

The guard never saw HK-47, so when the droid spoke he jumped 10 feet in the air easy.

“Don’t worry there ‘guard’ He won’t harm you. Yet” Discord teases the guard. Of course the guard didn’t notice Discord either and when he saw the spirit of chaos, he, with one big flap, flew all the way to the roof.

“Discord you needn’t have done that” Luna tells discord. “And yes HK-47. Dragons here breathe fire”

“You HAVE fought dragons before HK-47, yes?” Celestia asks the machine.

“Statement: Of course I have you moron! I was there to help place down mines to defeat the mighty Krayt dragon and help my master save the galaxy! And let me tell you that dragon wasn’t small. It was easily the size of one of your trains in height and probably twice as long.” HK half angrily, half annoyed, tells the solar princess.

“Hey now! There is no need to fight! We have a Ponyville to save!” Pinkie tells the entire room.

“I have to agree with pinkie pie here. Which truth be told that’s kind of scary. The town is more important,” said Applejack

“But the trains will take too long! Ponyville will be destroyed by the time we get there!” Twilight says while starting to panic again.

“Twilight darling, you forget you have magic,” Rarity tells Twilight. “Oh yeah….. I forgot about that,” Twilight says sheepishly.

“Go on Twilight. The rest of us will meet you when we get there,” Rainbow Dash says to Twilight while putting a hoof on her shoulder.

Twilight puts on a confident face and looks at HK-47, “HK-47,” She says to him. The droid immediately looks up from the floor and into Twilight’s eyes. “Query: Is there someone you need killed master?” He asks her.

“Oh yes there is. And we’re going to meet him.”

“Happy obligation: Oh goodie! Finally I get to kill something! Just show me this meatbag and I’ll guarantee it will die.” If droids can get excited, then HK-47 is showing every sign of it.

“Don’t worry; you’ll see it in a minute. Now stand next to me.” Twilight commands the droid to which he obeys without question.

“Good luck Twilight. Be careful,” Fluttershy timidly tells her friend. Twilight smiles and nods at her friend.

Twilight charges her horn in preparation for the teleportation spell for two. She can teleport herself to Ponyville no problem, and have some trouble teleporting herself with another pony. But HK-47 was not a pony and easily one or two tons so she needs to focus her magic a bit.

Once she has held enough magic she released it. In a flash of bright light Twilight and HK-47 make it to the center of Ponyville.

Just as the two got their bearings a shadow covered them. They both look up and see the dragon flying overhead with its jaws wide open about to snap shut on a stray Pegasus.

“Twilight!” A voice screamed at them, drawing their attention away from the huge dragon to a much smaller dragon.

“Twilight!” Spike screams again. He waves his arms frantically over to the building is in. “Hurry! Before the dragon sees you!”

Without complaint the two walk over to the building and enter. Once they entered Spike slammed the door closed. “Oh thank Celestia you’re here! Is the princess sending backup?” he asks Twilight.

“Statement: We are the backup meatbag. Query: You are a dragon too yes? Master can I kill it?” HK-47 first says to Spike, then to Twilight.

Spike never noticed the droid and when he spoke, almost all the color drained out of his face. “AAAAH!” he screamed, “What is that thing!”

“Spike! He is a friend. This is HK-47. I am his ‘master’ as he seems to keep calling me.” Twilight informs Spike.

“Objection: But you are my master. You did activate me yes?” HK voices his question. He then looks at Spike and says, “Note: Note this meatbag. I am an assassin droid. If you cause any harm to my master, or she gives the ok, I’ll kill you. Got that?” He threatens the small dragon. The still scared dragon can only nod his head in fear.

“HK-47 now is not the time. You saw that dragon yes?” Twilight says, changing the subject.

“Response: yes I did master. And let me tell you I am thrilled to be the one to kill it. I even have been meaning to find an excuse to use this” the droid says while pulling out a large weapon of some sort.

“What is that?”

“Answer: oh this thing? This is a Mandalorian rocket launcher. It was designed to take out large groups of republic soldiers, which it can by the way, but it has later been used as an anti-armor weapon of mass destruction. These things are very rare and I am proud to be using one.” He explains. “Now if you please…..” he says as he walks out the door.

Once HK-47 was out of the house He lifts the rocket launcher to his shoulders and takes aim at the dragon. The dragon is, surprisingly, still chasing after the terrified Pegasus. A beep informs the assassin droid that the rocket has a lock on the dragon and HK-47 pulls the trigger.

A loud WHOOSH! Can be heard all over Ponyville as a large ball of plasma chases after the dragon. The dragon started hovering when it heard the whoosh and his eyes were wide open in terror when he saw the ball of plasma. It tried to evade out of the way but was too slow. The plasma hit him dead center in the chest.

With a loud roar of pain, the beast fell and crashed on the outskirts of the town. The terrified Pegasus was nowhere to be found though HK was certain it wasn’t dead. With a flick of the wrist the rocket launcher disappeared in favor of the mandalorian battle rifle. In the other arm was a sith assassin pistol.

The droid tosses the pistol through the window in the building where Twilight and Spike are hiding.

“Statement: Use this if you have to master. I assume you know which way to point it.” He says to the building, sure that his master was listening to him. He started walking toward the crater that the dragon made to finish the job he was assigned.

After a few minutes of walking he came across the crater. Nothing was in it. “Annoyed statement: there is nothing in the hole. Query: Where is that damn dragon?”

His answer came to him in one of the least friendly ways possible. As soon as HK finished talking he was swiped all the way across the field by a claw of the dragon he is trying to kill. “Response: Nevermind. I found it.” He says to no one in particular.

As soon as he gets up he sees the dragon charging right at him. As fast as lightning the droid has the blaster in an attack position and is firing at the angry dragon. The entire town can hear the P-DEW P-DEW P-DEW as the droid fires a shot after a shot after a shot.

The dragon either shrugs off the blaster fire like it’s nothing or is too angry to notice them as he readies his claws to tear the machine to shreds. With another swipe of his paw the assassin droid is sent flying through the field yet again. When the dragon sees the droid is still standing it gets mad and charges the droid again.

About halfway through the charge a large explosion made the dragon fall and skid in surprise. Unknown to the dragon, while the assassin was falling with style through the air, He primed a large red rectangular object and dropped it on the ground. That object was a deadly frag mine.

Without hesitation HK-47 releases a wave of superheated plasma at the dragon again. Just as the dragon was getting up, the mandalorian blaster rifle that is in HK-47’s hands begins to melt from the constant firing at dragon.

With an angry throw of said melted blaster the machine whips out another rifle, but he gets thrown away yet again by a swipe of the dragon claws.

Instead of the reckless charging that the dragon did the first two times, he breathes a torrent of white hot fire at the nuisance that has interrupted it from lunch multiple times. Once the torrent of fire was finished the dragon let out a great roar in an assumed victory.

A loud WHOOSH was once again heard throughout all of Ponyville as another ball of plasma sails in the air and detonates right on the dragon’s face, his eye to be more precise.

With an even louder roar of pain the dragon glares at the droid with all the hate and anger it can muster while half of his face is melting off. The smell of burnt flesh can be smelt everywhere.

“Statement: So you CAN be severely injured. Though in your defense I guess anyone would have a severe injury if they got hit in the face with a hotter-than-the-local-star ball of plasma too. But that’s not important right now.” HK-47 taunts the dragon.

The dragon, now blind in fury and the loss of one eye, charges at the fast it can go on all four feet. This is actually pretty fast, about as fast as an average pegasus can fly.

HK-47 doesn’t even have time to react as the dragon grabs it in his claws and repeatedly smashes the droid into the ground. Everypony in Ponyville can hear the THUD THUD THUD as the dragon smashes the droid over and over. After what seems like an eternity the dragon rears up and with one final roar, gives one final smash to the droid.

An eerie silence fills the field as the dragon inspects his fallen enemy. He picks the droid up with his claws and looks at HK with his good eye. Nothing seems to be on with the droid and nothing is moving.

Before the dragon can react HK-47’s eyes glow back to its deadly red and HK-47 smashes its fist into the dragon’s bad eye. The dragon rears up in pair yet again and he let go of the droid. All that is holding it up is the arm in the eye. With the other arm it shows the dragon a thermal detonator.

“Statement: Checkmate meatbag,” HK says as he pushes the button to detonate the explosive.

A loud WHOOSH but more of a BOOM can be heard about a mile away from the center of the explosion as the thermal detonator fills the field with white hot fire. The dragon gives off one final roar before all of Ponyville becomes silent again.

For minutes nothing moves. Nothing breathes. Nothing can be heard. Not the singing of the birds, or the chatter of the animals, or even ponies doing their own thing. Not the markets filled with bargaining. Or the schoolhouse filled with learning. Just silence.

Eventually one brave pony peeks out of his hidey hole and steps out into the street. Everypony watches him as he nervously walks over to the field where the epic battle took place. Soon after him another went out and followed. And then another. And then another. Soon all of Ponyville (minus the rest of the main six) are gathered all around the battlefield.

Everypony there held their breath as they looked for signs of their savior. But all they could see was the dead dragon. Its face is now either burnt to a crisp, gone or melted. Nopony can see where the droid is.

One brave stallion started walking into the battlefield. Very shortly after words every mare, colt, filly, and stallion are out on the field looking.

“I FOUND IT!” Three little voices screamed. “NO I found it first!” Applebloom said. “No I did!” Sweetie Belle argued. “Puh-lease I found it first” Scootaloo argued with the two of them.

“Objection” the voices hear. A pause, “I found myself first” Another pause. “Query:” Another pause, this one longer than the others. “Could someone HELP.ME.OUT!?” HK amplifies his voice so anypony who didn’t hear the CMC heard him.

With the help of the entire town, they managed to get the droid out from under the dragon that he got pinned under. “Statement: Thank you all for helping me.” HK tells the entire town. Another pause occurs. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t help me.

Nopony knows either. The droid looks like it has been through hell, fought Cerberus, fought Satan, fought Death, and everything in between, and came back. Scratches and dents cover the entire droid. One of its eye sockets glows faintly. That same side of his head is blackened. His arm that held the grenade looks like it’ll fall off any minute. Wires were sticking out and sparked occasionally. Its other arm sustained less damaged but looks like it will fall out any minute. The hand where he stabbed it into the eye of the dragon was covered in blood. One of its legs is bent the wrong way and the other is flattened.

Twilight came running up to the droid and started panicking when she saw the damage. “HK-47!? Are you ok!?” “Response: No master I am not ok! I nearly got, how you meatbags say, my ass handed to me by that dragon! Just look at me! I’m a mess. It’s going to take me at least a day or two to be 100 percent functional again!”

Twilight smiled. “It’s good to see you’re ok.” The droid sighed, “Statement: Yes master, it is good I'm ok. I’m very much happy to still be operational. I’ll be honest though this is the most amount of damage I’ve sustained in a battle. Not even during the battle in the star forge did I take this much damage. Now enough talk. I need someplace to start repairing my injuries.”

The droid tried to start walking but instead fell right to the floor as his center of gravity was off balance. HK-47 tried to get up but couldn’t without the help of its master’s magic. Together the two made it to Twilight’s tree home.

By the time the two got home, Luna’s moon was shining brightly in the sky. Twilight opened the door and was hit with the smell of fresh salad and a batch of cookies cooking.

“Twilight! Thank Celestia you two got home safe. Dinner is on the table if you’re hungry.” Spike tells Twilight. She thanks Spike and helps HK-47 into the bed on the ground floor bedroom past the kitchen.

“Statement: Master I am going to go into repair mode. I will not be out until an estimated 2 to three days. Until I come out of repair mode do not bother looking after me or try to wake me up.” HK tells her. Before she can say anything the droid’s eyes dim down from bright evil red to a soft gentle red and into nothing as the droid enters repair mode.

Twilight closes the door and enters the kitchen to enjoy a nice fresh salad and some cookies while trying to process everything she saw today.

Author's Note

Once again here's another chapter for you guys! And once again big thanks for Twiguy for proof-reading the chapter! If you have a suggestion or an idea for the story, go ahead and send me a pm. Opinions are important after all

A Surprising Warm Welcome

A surprisingly warm welcome.

It has been four days since HK-47 has defeated the dragon that has attacked Ponyville. A lot has happened in those four days. Every day, at least a dozen ponies would come into the library throughout the day asking if the droid has come out of his repair mode yet. Every time Twilight had to say no to them, that he isn’t out.

Most get sad and walk out with the heads down low. Others stop to check out a book since they’re in the library. It was the most business the library has seen since the Nightmare Moon incident.

Throughout the four days everypony was hard at work repairing the buildings that have been destroyed by the dragon, or repairing the hole or the broken window that a stray piece of shrapnel or stay plasma round hit. Nopony was left out and Cheerilee even found a way for the fillies and colts to help by painting the new buildings. Discord even came out to help surprisingly. He said something about ‘liking the way the droid fights and how it earned his respect for helping Ponyville and yada yada yada can we get a move on please?’

Twilight was enjoying a cup of coffee while helping out a pony check out a book when she heard a door open. Spike was out helping rarity with who knows what so that leaves out only one pony who that can be.

“HK-47!” She happily says while turning her head to face the rusty red assassin droid that she ‘owns’.

“Statement: And a good morning to you too master. Oh it is good to be fully functional again. Query: how long was I out master?” HK asks its master.

“Four days. And feel free to go ahead and walk around. Everypony probably will want to thank you now that you are awake” She tells it while turning around the see that the library is now empty. No doubt the pony ran off to go tell the residents that their favorite death bringing machine is awake.

“Appeasement: Master I really don’t want to, but because you suggested it I will go ahead and do it.” It tells Twilight and walks outside.

Twilight just took another sip of her coffee before she heard HK scream, “AAAAH! BACK! BACK! Get back you savages!”

She walks outside and sees HK surrounded by roughly the entire town’s population. They all were showing fear as the droid had pulled a blaster pistol and is pointing it at the crowd.

She sighed and magically grabbed the blaster and ripped it out of its hand. “It’s ok everypony!” She tells the crowd, drawing everypony’s eyes from it to her. “HK-47 is just not used to positive feedback.”

“Objection: Master this isn’t positive feedback! They all rushed at me at full speed just to THANK ME! I swear if being a hero includes the psychopathic fans then I do NOT want any part of them. Query: Can I have my blaster back?”

“Ok everypony! Give HK-47 some breathing room!”

Everypony gave off a big “awww” and started walking back to whatever they were doing before the droid walked outside.

“Statement: Thank you for saving me. If I ever get off this planet, I will never make fun of swoop bike racers ever again.”

Twilight smiled, “It's ok HK. They only meant well.”

“Response: I know that, but they completely forgot they were an intelligent species and charged at me. They did thank me though so I guess you are right master.”

“Come on. We’re going to head to Sugarcube Corner and grab something.”

“Statement: I understand master. There better be something to shoot, going four days without shooting at something is getting me itching to kill something”

The master and the servant head to Sugarcube Corner, one knowing what is about to happen, the other having a suspicion. HK noticed that the ponies that were all around the town are no longer to be seen. HK tells this to Twilight.

“You’ll see in a minute” was all she told it.

Soon the two made it to their location. Sugarcube Corner by this time of day should be buzzing with activity. Instead the door is closed, the lights are off inside, and there is absolutely no noise coming from the building.

“Query: Master are you sure we are in the right location?” HK asks its master.

Twilight smiled once again, “Of course I'm sure HK. Just go inside and all will be revealed.

“It’s a surprise party isn’t it?”

Twilight recoiled in surprise. “How did you know?”

“Answer: Master I am no idiot. Plus I have thermal vision, so I can see the mass groups of ponies inside the surprisingly large sweet shop.”

“Well can you at least act surprised for Pinkie Pie? When ponies don’t act surprised she gets really depressed. Seeing Pinkie Pie sad is……unnerving.”

“Objection: But master, droids can not act surprised. Even self-aware droids can’t be surprised.”

“Just try to act surprised. Please? Don’t make me command you.”

“Appeasement: Fine master, I will do my best to act surprised.” And with that HK-47 opened the door.

The lights were off and it was surprisingly pitch black in the store, even with the door open.

“Fake confused query: Where is the damn light switch? I can’t see anything!”

As soon as the droid said those words, the lights went on and the entire room screamed, “SURPRISE!!!” Pinkie then went right up in its face and went right onto her usual endless questions/paragraph in a single sentence.

“Hiyouremembermerightohofcourseyoudobecauseyouareadroidandiwastoldthatdroidsalwaysrememereverythingsoyouknowthatmynameispinkiepieandwereyousuprisedbythesuprisepartyohofcourseyouweresinceeveryponyissuprisedbymysupisepartyandthisisntanyoldsuprisepartyfoorthisisyourwelcometoponyvillepartyalongwithyourwelcometoequestriaandhoorayaliensexistpartyandthankyouforbeatingthatmeanolddragonsowereyousuprised? Well? Were you? Were you surprised?”

HK-47 didn’t respond. In fact he didn’t respond for a minute. He was computing what the endless pink ball of energy had just said. She talked so fast that the droid had to slow down what she said and process the information.

“Genuine surprised statement: I had no idea anything can talk so fast I had to slow down what they said to understand what they just said. Answer: So yes meatbag, I was surprised. In fact I am genuinely surprised.

“Anyway,” Twilight interrupts. “Pinkie Pie, I think you know what to do.”

“*Gasp* You’re right!” Pinkie exclaims and grabs a megaphone out of nowhere. “LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!”

Vinyl, who was over at the DJ booth, put a track into the speakers and the party has officially begun.

“Commentary: This song seems surprising fitting. Arrogant assumption: I bet everyone here in town remembers my name” HK droid comments to Twilight and the gang.

“Of course they do! You saved the entire town from a fiery doom!” Pinkie happily replies. Rainbowdash rolls her eyes, “Psh please, I could’ve taken that dragon”

“Rainbow I know ‘yer tough and all but have you seen the damage HK and that dragon caused? There’s no way you would've won against it.” Applejack informs her rainbow-maned pegasus friend. “Yeah Rainbow, you should’ve seen the damage HK-47 suffered after that fight. I was worried that he wouldn’t make it out of that fight.” Twilight agrees, siding with Applejack.

“Informing statement: Master I was always going to ‘make it out of the fight’. Sure the dragon might have ripped me apart into a bunch of tiny pieces. But you master, and …….Pinkie Pie, have the smarts and in pinkie’s case, uncanny ability to help in whatever way with no questions asked with 100% efficiency, which when in our present scenario, would be finding every little piece of me, would be able to put me back together enough, that I would be able to start up system repairs.

“Conclusion: so listen closely meatbag, your chances of survival if you fought the dragon would be 0.00001% chance, even the one known as Pinkie Pie can’t live under those odds. Your chances of actually defeating the beast are….. Let’s put it this way, I have better odds taking over the entire galaxy with a blaster rifle.”

“Uh can we please not talk about the big mean scary dragon please? If that’s ok with you…..” Fluttershy timidly asks the group. “I agree with Fluttershy here darlings; we shouldn’t talk about that brute and focus on the party” Rarity says, siding with Fluttershy.

The six friends split off to go and mingle in the party. HK-47 took one step before he was completely surrounded by various towns-ponies.

“Agitated commentary: *sigh* not this again…… what do you ponies want from me!?” HK asks the group.

“Tell us a story!” One of the fillies clutching his feet asks it. HK looks down at the filly and frowns, if droids could frown. “Well listen here…… Query: what is your name?”

“My name is Button Mash!” Button Mash eagerly tells the droid.

“Explanation: Well Button, the thing is, most of my stories that I can tell are hardly appropriate for a meatbag of your age”

The collective group of fillies all “awwww”ed and got off of its legs. The ponies that surrounded the droid frowned as they had an idea of what the assassin machine was talking about. One filly however refused to let go.

“Bu-but don’t you have a story that we all can hear?” Sweetie Belle asks it. The fillies all looked back up and either gave the droid a beaming smile of hope, or puppy dog eyes only the villains of My Little Pony can say no. Some of the more mature ponies did the same thing the fillies did. Everypony there wanted to hear the tales and legends from around the galaxy.

“Musing thought: Well……” HK starts. “….. There might be one story I could tell you”

A large collection of “YAY!” can be heard throughout the entire town as every filly, mare, and stallion that heard and/or eavesdropped on the droid voiced their pleasure in hearing a story.

“Tell me meatbags, have you ever heard the story of the Jedi?....

Author's Note

Hey! I'm back and got a new chapter out as promised! Don't expect a lot of chapters anytime soon for I have writer's block and kinda/sorta/but not really writing a after FO:E epilogue FO:E story to try and cure it.

Violence solves everything

Violence solves everything.

“Commentary: Master I think you are overreacting over nothing,” HK tells Twilight.

“Tell me about it,” Spike agrees while mumbling under his breath in order to avoid Twilight’s wrath.

“I am not overreacting over nothing HK-47!” Twilight snaps. “As I already told you, the emperor of the Griffon Kingdom, Queen Chrysalis of the changeling empire, and the President of the Zebrican republic are coming to Equestria! To talk about you of all things!”

“Twilight? Are you…… jealous?” Spike asks her in surprise.

“I am not!”

“Statement: Master I am pretty sure you are jealous. Why else would you say ‘about you of all things!?’” Hk asks her, while mimicking her voice perfectly. “If you weren’t jealous you would have said something along the lines of: They came here to talk about your stay in Equestria! You could be torn apart!

“Of course they would have to get their stupid meatbag hands/hooves on me, which I would make it impossible being a very dangerous and very deadly assassin droid. I would shoot up the entire room and single handedly kill all the guards and politicians in the room and probably start a world war. I’ve always wanted to start a world war.”

The room was deathly quiet. The only sound in the room was Spike’s breathing and Twilight’s occasional breath. The occasional ‘whurrr’ came from the droid in front of its two companions.

“See? This proves my point! Anything could happen and HK could single hoofedly start a world war!” Twilight says while starting to resume panicking and pacing back and forth.

“Yeah. She’s overreacting” Spike says to no one in particular.

“Comforting Appeasement: Master if it makes you feel any better I do not plan on murdering any of them…… Yet. Maybe if one of them annoys me too much. Injuries however, are to be expected master. Query: When is the damn chariot supposed to be picking us up?”

“HK first off, what did I tell you about swearing? Secondly, why do you enjoy hurting things? Thirdly, The chariot should be coming any moment now” She tells her companion.

Before HK can say anything the sound of beating wings can be heard. Followed by a thud. Followed by somepony screaming “MY CABBAGES!”

“Obvious Assumption: Master I think we found them”

The trio went outside by the market square to see a squad of royal guard pegasi, griffons, and changelings all squished and bunched together on top of a cart full of what everyone assumed was cabbages. The royal chariot that is to pick them up is right next to the cart. Somehow, despite being right next to the carnage, it is completely clean of cabbage guts on it.

“What is going on here!?” Twilight asks the guards.

One of the guards looks up and sees Twilight and immediately panics and gets up and salutes her. “P-Princess Twilight! Private Swift Wings reporting in Sir! I uh I mean Ma’am! Princess Celestia sent us to escort you and the …” He stops and takes out a scroll and reads from it before Twilight can say anything. “The uhhh…… droid….. You and the droid to Canterlot for a world meeting with Queen Chrysalis, King Atlas, and High councilor Ceaser of the Zebra nations.” He then rolls up the scroll. “So Princess Twilight, any questions?”

“Yes, if you are here to escort me, why are the griffons and changelings here with you?” She asks him.

“Oh umm that…..” He starts nervously. “Well you see Princess….. King Atlas and Queen Chrysalis apparently don’t trust us enough to escort you two peacefully so they sent a squad each to come help escort. Of course due to tensions across the three countries we all got into an argument around the time we got into Ponyville. Soon enough that argument turned into a fight and the next thing we know we’re on top of some shop and somepony is screaming something about cabbages.”

“Arrogant statement: You can send all the troops you want, but unless my master wishes me to or I wish it so, you will never take me anywhere. Especially since you meatbags don’t have ion weaponry to take me down effectively.” HK says to no one in particular.

The guard flinches when HK spoke, “It can TALK!? In EQUESTRIAN?!?”

“Annoyed Query:*Sigh* Why do meatbags always assume that they are not speaking an inter-galactic language? Correction: Listen here meatbag, you are not speaking ‘Equestrian’ you are speaking galactic basic. Get that right.”

Before the private can speak, the rest of the group finally recovered and set their eyes on HK-47. The Royal guards look at the droid in awe. Rumors of the droid have spread all over Equestria. The griffons and changelings pointed their weapons at it and look at HK in suspicion.

“Query: Master I am getting impatient. Can we get this show on the road already?” HK says and without anyone’s consent, goes up to the carriage, rips the door off its hinges, got in the carriage, and welded the door back onto the carriage.

Reluctantly, after a few minutes of being awestruck at the droid, Twilight walks into the other, not welded shut, side of the carriage and enters. “You know you didn’t have to do that, you know that right?”

“Objection: Master if I didn’t show a superiority of strength, these meatbags would never have taken me seriously, and as fun as that would be to utterly decimate them, I want to prove to them whose the superior superpower here. Plus it is always good to aim for overkill rather than underkill.

“I guess that makes sense…..”

“Satisfaction: Of course it is master. I said it so it must make sense. I am a droid, we cannot not make sense, it is in our programming.

Twilight had nothing to say to that so she said nothing and stared out the window.

Two of the royal guard hooked themselves up to the chariot while the others surrounded the carriage. The griffons and the changelings surround the unburdened guards as they began to take off…. Or tried to.

Both guards attached to the chariot are trying to move the carriage an inch. “Grrr Celestia damn it do you weigh a ton or something!?” One of the guard manages to grunt as half a dozen more guards attach themselves to the chariot. “Correction: Actually i weigh 1.25 tons plus an extra ton or two of supplies. I hope to the very core of my memory core that you are suffering.” Eventually, with the help of two griffons and changelings, managed to make the chariot fly and they are finally on their way to Canterlot. During that time, everypony, griffon, and changeling kept a tight grip on their weapons and kept giving each other the evil eye(s), as if they cannot trust anyone that isn’t part of their species.

That is until HK-47 decided to make a very loud beeping sound. It was loud enough to be heard over the sound of raging wind as they flew.

“I SURRENDER!!!” Every guard, griffon, and changeling screamed as they spread their wings farther in the air, causing them to scatter and shake the chariot, nearly making it plummet in the process. they eventually get the chariot back under control and gave the biggest, meanest glare they could at HK, who was somehow giggling like a madman

“Statement: I got you meatbags. You meatbags are very easy to scare and or terrify. I could seriously get used to this place. Assuming master, you get to let me kill something.”

Everyone promptly ignored the droid and took off toward Canterlot, where the World governments are having the ‘meeting’

Twilight was blushing the entire trip. Not because she saw someone cute, but because she was utterly embarrassed. Not once has HK ever done something like that and every time she forgot about it, a guard would meet her eyes and she would remember it all over again, starting the cycle all over again.

Thankfully for everyone the trip didn’t last long. What seemed like a second to everyone, but was 103.6 minutes to HK-47, the group sees Canterlot Castle and they speed up their flying to finally land.

Once everyone landed not only were there royal guards, griffons, and changelings surrounding the carriage, but zebras were doing the same thing. The zebra held a dense population here.For every 3 zebras there were 1 guard, 1 griffon, and 1 changeling. Everyone was pointing a weapon at the carriage.

First Twilight came out and only the Royal guard relaxed a little bit. But they quickly toughened up again and went back to being serious. This made Twilight nervous. Equestria hasn’t seen action since the changeling invasion and even then the guards were, unfortunately, not as serious as they were now. She was nervous the entire time it took to stand by her former mentor’s side.

HK takes a chaotic (to Discord’s glee) entrance by busting the door open with its leg. It swings out and stands up to his full height. The guards closest to it were shaking in fear by the time the door “opened’ and they nearly fainted when it stood up. The guards behind them were just as terrified though they showed it less.

HK turns his red eyes from a soft menacing red up to mass-murderer-demon-like red eyes and scanned the guards/warriors surrounding him. Everyone that came into his vision did their best not to shake and/or faint. Most failed, only the baddest of every species were able to not shake, but they kept blinking uncontrollably the entire ordeal.

After a few minutes of unbearable silence HK kills it. “Querying joke: How did you meatbags know it was my birthday?”

Suddenly out of nowhere, coming out from a trash can, Pinkie pops out and screams “WHAT!? It’s your birthday and you never TOLD us!?” Her hair quickly went from puffy and cotton candy-y to the flattest hairstyle ever while holding a shocked and sad expression.

HK was taking great pleasure from seeing Pinkie being sad and harmed. However his life is to serve and Twilight would probably want it to…… “Apologize” too bad she has to give the order first

“Sarcastic mockery: Pinkie Pie was it? Let us be clear. 1.) I am not your friend. 2.) It is not my birthday. Droids do not have birthdays. 3) you are ‘obviously’ a very dim witted, almost down-right stupid, meatbag if you ever thought that a.) I would ever tell you when I was created b.) You would ever catch me off guard with a ‘surprise party’ and c) throwing me a surprise party. I would rather be swimming in a river of molten magma. Which, by the way, I can do without much difficulty.”

Pinkie wasn’t there anymore. She somehow went back into the trashcan with tears in her eyes and disappeared. “HK-47!” a shocked Twilight screams at her droid. “That wasn’t very nice!”

“Annoyed response: Master I am an assassin droid! I am not nice! I was never nice! You cannot seriously expect me to go against my programming! I am programmed evil! I will do acts of evil and cruelty! And if you weren’t holding me back I would’ve already murdered every single one of you!”

“Hey!” A voice shouted out of nowhere. Every guard near the voice got out of the unknown pony’s way, for fear of being in the line of fire. Anyone that wasn’t in front of him or next to him shoved him forward. The voice was a royal guard, a new guy by the looks of it. “You can’t do that to the elements of harmony bearers!”

“Mockery: Oh? And what, pray tell, are you going to do about it? Try and kill me? Arrest me? You can’t do anything. I however can do anything I please as long as it doesn’t interfere with my master’s orders. And luckily for you, master has forbade me from killing you ‘ponies’…….yet”

“You see!? This is why we should get rid of that thing!” Another new voice out of nowhere speaks.

Everyone turns and sees a griffon with a crown and a long cape, a zebra wearing some sort of spiritual necklace, and Chrysalis walking out from a door along with Princess Luna.

“King Atlas calm down. The droid has done nothing to give us to give judgment. Wait till we interrogate it” Princess Luna attempts to calm down the king.

“Psh really? Are you that dumb “Princess”? That thing took down a dragon by itself! I hardly think we can’t give judgment” The angry king replied.

“Hush now your majesty. We cannot act on impulse alone. It has killed a dragon, yes. But if a pony or a griffon defeated this rare beast, we would be celebrating their glorious achievement. Why should this be any different?” The zebra replied

“I agree. If that thing can take down a dragon by itself, it wouldn’t be wise to anger it.” Chrysalis agrees with the zebra.

The king scoffs. Chrysalis, you and Kael have always agreed with each other not matter what. You’re always trying to overthrow me with a more “fair” ruler. Why can’t you two admit for once I’m right and we must get RID of this thing!?”

“Angered threat: This “Thing” can hear you meatbag. It would be very wise to listen to your companions before you find yourself at death’s doorstep.” HK threatens, earning a “You see!?” from the king.

“HK-47 control yourself!” Twilight commands the droid.

“Objection: But master you said I am not allowed to kill “anypony” These creatures, aside from the striped one, are obviously not ponies so I can do whatever I want”

“No you cannot! They are not a threat to anyone or anypony!”

“Objection: I beg to differ. The fat one threatened to attempt and destroy me”

“HEY! I can hear you, you know!” Atlas angrily replies. “Do not make me send my elite guards on you!”

The royal guards shifted uncomfortably. The Griffons physically are superior to ponies and they have a tougher military life, making them the military power that can take down most things in a 1V1. So their common soldiers, naturally, are way better than normal pony guards. Who knows what kind of training their elite troops have gone through. However the droid in question is not only made of metal, but its weapons are far more sophisticated than anything Gaia has seen.

“HK please don’t patronize him” Twilight pleads to the droid, but it chooses to ignore her.

“Mockery: Ooh? You’re ‘elite’ guard? Oh no please don’t send the elite guard! Aggressive statement: Listen here you fat meatbag. I have taken down many warriors, all of whom makes your “elite” training useless and outdated. The kind of things those soldiers that I’ve killed have done are unmentionable due to the pacifism of this god-awful world. Oh the kinds of things the sith would do here….”

King Atlas is steaming with fury. Not only did this machine just insult him and his guard. But it refused to tell the kinds of foes it has killed and claimed they are tougher than the elite! Without thinking the king flicks his claws and his best soldiers from the surrounding guard march forward, their weapons at the ready with the intent to destroy the machine.

The remaining guards quickly bunched together closer and closer until they formed an impenetrable wall of flesh. There was no backing out now for the griffons.

One charged in without thinking and was quickly defeated when HK took the poor creature’s spear and threw it, with him along, over its head and into the mass of guards. Two charged in at once when their companion went flying.

Quick as lightning, HK took out one of his sith assassin pistols while twirling bounty hunter style and rammed the butt of the pistol into one of the charging griffon’s skull. A loud bone crushing “CRA-A-CK!” can be heard throughout the entire castle and everyone wincing in sympathy for the poor soul. HK kicked the guard away from him and turned its pistol at the third guard and shot him right between the eyes with a loud “P-DEW!”

Once the body fell to the ground It took out another assassin pistol and without looking away from the angry griffon king, started gunning down every last griffon in the building, and gunning down a few of every species for good measure.

As soon as he stopped firing and everybody that was dead, was on the ground, only then did HK take his pistols and put them away into who-knows-where.

“Query: Shall we have peace talks or start this planet’s First World War?

Author's Note

I know this is probably rushed so if you have any question feel free to ask. I had writer's block when writing this but i wanted to give you guys something so here you go

War's a brewing

War’s a brewing

“So what shall we ask it first?” Celestia asks the group of leaders in front of her. The leaders, who have seen ponies, or in this case, griffons, be killed in a bloody fashion, were the first to recover from this slaughter.

King Atlas, who is still mad about the death of his elite soldiers, just grunts.

President Kale puts one of his hooves to his chin and begins to think. As the leader of the zebras he must choose his questions carefully. Zebras by nature are a wise and relatively peaceful as a race, but when threatened they can become a dangerous threat.

“I have one: You say you are from the stars yes?” Chrysalis asks HK to which he nods in conformation. “Then how did you get here?” The rest of the leaders nod in agreement.

“Musing thought: How should I explain this to your tiny little brains….” Nothing can be heard for a time except for the occasional whur of the machine’s inner parts.

“Explanation: Let’s see here. After my former master, Revan, destroyed the Star Forge He took the liberty so say goodbye to his idiotic companions, all except me, an equally idiotic T3 droid, and a brutal man that was Canderous Ordo of the Mandalorians. Needless to say, he was ok in my book.
Master Revan took the three of us and traveled into the unknown regions of space. He remembered a vision of something that must be destroyed there. Another needless to say, we never did find it for I do not have any mention of finding it in my memory banks.”

An awkward silence ensues as the group waits for the droid to continue. Only to find out he’s finished.

“Uhh HK, is that it?” Twilight asks it.

“Sarcastic answer: No master I’m just waiting for fatso to finish eating his doughnuts. Answer: Yes master I’m finished with my story.

“B-But that’s it!? No action or anything!?”

“Response: Master let me put it this way. I have no idea what happened during my travels there. We could’ve found it we could’ve not had. Or we never went there. Or even we were shot down by a sith cruiser for all I know. My memory banks DO NOT HAVE any memories of that. Remember master, you found me shut down and damaged yes? Then perhaps I was turned off the entire time.”

“I guess that makes sense…”

“Arrogant response: Of course it did, I said it after all. Now next question please. I want to go kill something”

“What kind of weaponry do you carry?” Atlas asks the droid, surprising some, but most expected it.

HK responds by taking out the sith assassin pistols and putting them on the table. “These here are two sith assassin pistols. The sith designed these to be very deadly and very efficient. Its concentrated plasma makes the pistol have a high minimum damage on the Galactic Weapon Scale: Blaster Weapons Division but low maximum damage.” He then takes out a Mandalorian Assault Rifle “This beauty here is a Mandalorian Assault damage. Known to be almost overpowered for something its size, it is a feared weapon among the galaxy. Especially during the Mandalorian wars. “It has a solid 3 point minimum damage on the GWS and is capable of, with a modified blaster, firing up to 1537 rounds per minute. Unmodified they shoot roughly 300 rounds per minute to avoid overheating.” As it was finishing talking, it took out another weapon for show and tell. “At the present moment, this is my most prized possession excluding my lightsabers I have looted from the Jedi I have killed. Jedi and Sith mind you. This beauty here is a Mandalorian Rocket Launcher. As I have told master before, the Mandalorian Rocket Launcher was originally designed to be an anti-infantry missile system. However it was later used as an effective anti-armor weapon. Capable of piercing through a star cruiser and, in this case, melting dragon scales with absolute ease.”

Everyone that hasn’t seen the weapons before were left speechless. HK only showed 3 weapons and already ONE had enough technology and firepower to make everything on Gaia obsolete and useless. “Such power….” Kale and Atlas say. Though the zebra’s was a whisper of disbelief while the griffon had a voice of awe.

“Commentary: If you are awed by this point I might as well not tell you about my grenades and mines. Or even about the space craft the galaxy uses.”

“That is very interesting….. I have made my decision. I want you to help me rule the world” King Atlas says out of nowhere, earning a series of gasps from the group of leaders and a frown from Discord.

“King Atlas have you gone mad!?” Luna asks, shocked by what he said.

“Of course not! However, I am sick and tired of you, your sister, and Kale here always limiting my power. The griffon kingdom shall have no more! From this day forth we declare war on the one that has caused us the most trouble in the past. That is you “Princess”; you have always tried to remove our power. Kale there is nothing more than your faithful lapdog and Chryssy there only does what is best for her kingdom. Now droid, are you with us or are we going to have to take you out with extreme prejudice?”

“Warning: Touch the land and lose an arm meatbag. Touch the master’s land and lose your life.

Atlas is shocked, “And why not!? I know you. You crave power as do I! You want to cause pain, I can do that! You want to kill, I can allow that! But instead you threaten me, why!?

“Statement: As you have obviously forgotten you moronic meatbag, while I do enjoy causing pain and death, which normally leads to power, I am bound by my master’s will. And seeing you’re about to attack the land she stupidly calls home, I am going to have to kill you if you do. It’s nothing personal, it’s just business. And don’t forget my lack of making my own choices for myself. Damn it I hate being a droid sometimes.

“We could always try giving you a pony body HK” Twilight suggests.

“Statement: Bah, master that is a stupid idea. Even if I wanted to, which I don’t, a Bipedal chassis is superior in almost every way. It has more agility, torso movement, driving skills, the ability to actually shoot something, not to mention it makes me taller, which in turn makes me more terrifying.
An Equine Chassis is not suited for a droid of my tasks. Sure an astromech droid or maybe even a translator droid, which by the way I can perform, would fit their suit pretty well as their chassis can support them via magnetically, they’re stronger, faster, and more durable. But they cannot turn quite so easy, can’t shoot a variety of weapons for they must be mounted on it, and they are undoubtedly shorter.”

“Anyway, King Atlas have you gone mad!? There’s no way the Griffons can defeat the three nations before you” Kale asks, trying to change the subject.

“Actually the changelings are staying out of this one. If he really wants to fight us, he’ll have to do it on our homeland” Chrysalis tells everyone, not surprising many in the room.

“Hmph as if my fight is with you. You don’t try to ruin my power. You do what you need to do to survive Chrysalis. You are not my problem. They are.”

“There’s nothing you can do to us! The power of friendship shall see to that!” Twilight objects. Celestia, who for some reason stayed quiet up till now, laid a wing onto Twilight’s back.

“Twilight follow me please. There is something we must talk about. Something I really hoped you wouldn’t have to hear.”

The two alicorns walk out toward the exit of the room; their steps echoing across the stone room. The doors open and the two walk out into Celestia’s shining sun rays, its warmth enwrapping them immediately. The guards posted at the doors closed the door with a mighty “WHUMP” and the politics was back in action.

“Statement: Do we have anything else to discuss about me or shall we get straight to this war business?” HK asks the group.

“What? You’re not going to kill me?” Atlas replies, obviously shocked and what the droid just says.

“Statement: Yes and no. While I am fairly certain I will kill you, I will not be killing you right here, right now in this very room. As a participant in this an act of war, the Intergalactic Rules of War, or IRoW, clearly states in my programming that I am not allowed to kill you or even take potshots at you until you have safely left the capital and are on your way back to your country.” Your guards however is a different story so if we have nothing more to discuss……. You better hope for their sake they are really fast fliers for I am a really good shot.”

“Well aside from a political bullshit with them trying to reason with me and ending up with me leaving in a fit of anger, no not really. We can go ahead and fast forward and save everyone some tiiiiiiiii what is that!?”

What the Griffon is referring to is the Sniper rifle the assassin droid has taken out of nowhere. This sniper rifle is just as long as the droid and the barrel as thick as one of its hands. This action surprised the leaders, making some flinch and most do a double take with wide eyed looks.

“Query: What? This old thing? Oh it’s nothing special, just my first sniper rifle that I have owned. Master Revan made it for me. It is capable of hitting a one meter square target dead center from a mile away and is capable of hitting pony sized targets from three times that. It is also one of my most prized possessions.

“Well….. That thing is really big…… *ahem* anyway, Soon! Soon I shall return! And when I return starting with Equestria, the world will see the power of the Griffon Empire! Soon!” And with that, King Atlas of the griffons flies off and the remaining griffons fly off to follow their leader.

An awkward silence fills the room as no one knows what to say anymore.

“Query: Before I start shooting, does anyone want tea?

Author's Note

So guys in the spirit of Halloween i have given you guys a trick and a treat! As you know, this is the treat. The trick, unfortunately, is that this is the second to last chapter (plus an epilogue probably). I originally planned to increase this story by a couple more chapters before this point and incude some star wars stye speaking (so basically politics and why a character does something) but my lust for writing this story has.....fallen to say the least. My pre-reader/editor has given me advice saying i should before moving onto anything else. I'm truly sorry guys. ~~But hey, at least next chapter will be a slaughter am i right?~~ Also Twi-guy if you're reading this sorry i didn't have it go through you ~~but i only just finished the chapter yesterday~~. So when you see this go ahead and fix it and send me a PM of the corrections or Email me. thanks buddy! Also turns out that i have a chapter unpublished. so here you go!

Test Fires

A week has passed since Atlas has declared war on Equestria and it has been a busy week. After the talk with Twilight Princess Celestia had to publically announce not only HK-47, but the fact because of it, Equestria is in war.

Surprising everypony, the general public took it very well and accepting since they now have to be drafted and whoever stays has to be taxed for the war effort.

Nobles donated money, ponies of all walks of life joined not by draft, whoever cannot join but can use a hammer was in the smithy crafting weapons and armor, ponies that can draw drew propaganda, fillies, though saddened by the fact their parents will have to leave them for a bit, helped out too in whatever way they could.

And in all those days the droid that is HK-47 has only been seen by few. It spent the week secluded in the middle of nowhere with only Discord keeping him company. It sent him back and forth requesting odd supplies almost every other hour.

“I still don’t see why you needed a quarter ton on copper, iron, steel, gold, and carbonated plastic. And don’t even get me started on those tubes you wanted!” Discord tells the assassin machine.

“Statement: I told you already you disfigured meatbag we are making weapons of mass destruction. NON-NUCLEAR weapons mind you. I don’t have a death wish. Although that would be a nice way to go, perhaps if it was detonated in the senate…..”

“What are you two doing!?” Twilight asks the two of them. Surprising both of them

“Query: Master!? What are you doing here? More importantly, how did you find us?”

“Easy, I casted a tracking spell on Discord. No one heard from you in a week and only Discord was able to find you. Just what are you working on?”

“Answer: As I just told Discord here, I’m making weapons of mass genocide. Query: Care to see?”

Without waiting for a response from his master it takes out a metallic tube with two retractable metal sticks attached to it. Along with his rocket launcher with a strange object attached to it, a long multi-barreled object, and a strange tall thin half sphere object with another one of those multi-barrels sticking out of it.

“Statement: Let’s start with what you know” HK says as he picks up the rocket launcher. “This is, as you know, the Mandalorian rocket launcher. I have modified it so that it carries a belt of grenades along with it that will scatter and undoubtedly cause a lot of damage to the enemy. Watch as followed.”

HK takes the missile launcher and fires at a target roughly 100 meters away. A tail of plasma follows the ball of plasma: the belt of grenades. When it makes contact to the ground the belt let go of the grenades at the time when the rocket exploded, causing the grenades to fly into the air in every direction and detonate when they hit the ground.

“Statement: Now it is truly an anti-infantry item. Query: Master what time is it?”

“It’s little over 7, why?”

“Statement: You will see in a moment master. You will see”

Just as HK predicated, Twilight saw what he meant. A pack of bats were flying overhead.

The little half sphere thing Twilight saw whirled to life and pointed its multi-barrels at the bats and released many tiny balls of plasma at the bats. With a terrifying screech bats went down by the dozens the longer the machine kept firing.

After what seemed like days but really was seconds the swarm of bats passes out the machine’s range and it goes back into shut down mode, leaving a horrified Twilight, a unfazed droid, and an oblivious Draconques.

“Statement: hmm that was a lot messier than expected. Eh oh well it passed its test”

“W-what?” Twilight tried to make complete sentences but couldn’t.

“Statement: Master because I know what you are trying to say I can answer you. Answer: What you just saw has a name. But for the life of me I have never learned it. All I know is that it is originally an Anti-missile system. Its original purpose was to shoot out rockets mid-air by shooting massive amounts of plasma at it. Genius in its own way, highly inefficient in another way. But it gets the job done. By rewriting some of its core matrix, I have redesigned it so that it will shoot from ridiculously small targets to somewhat bigger targets. Our griffon friends to be exact.”

Twilight shudders; suddenly feeling bad for the poor innocent griffons that will undoubtedly be massacred by HK-47.

“Statement: next up master I shall show you a mortar. So that at least you pathetic meatbags can help in some way. Watch closely master”

Twilight watches as HK retracts this ‘mortar’ so that it is pointed at an angle at the fallen bats. It then takes out a strange object and inserts it into the tube but holds it.

“Reference: fire in the hole” It lets go of the object and with a mighty WHUMP!
.
.
.
It flies roughly 4 feet and lands on the ground with no explosion whatsoever.
An awkward silence ensures as the droid somehow gives the now-presumably-a-bomb the death glare. As expected it didn’t detonate but HK-47 certainly gave it its best shot.

Discord meanwhile was laughing his ass off. “OH HA HA HA HA! You should’ve seen your guy’s faces! Priceless!” He then continues to laugh.

“Statement: That….. Was not supposed to happen.”

“Oh really? And how was that supposed to play off?” Twilight asks, half skeptical, half amusment.

“Answer: Oh master, it was supposed to play off like this” HK says as it goes from his droid voice to a high pitched WHEEEEEEEEEEEE followed by a nice satisfying BOOM!

“Statement: Master here we are at the last thing of show and tell. Care to witness or have we seen enough?”

“I’ve seen pretty much every piece of destruction you have in your arsenal. One more can’t hurt. What is it?”

“Answer: Ah master I'm glad you asked. This here is a prototype MK 2 minigun. Crude yes because I have nothing but the most basic of schematics but I built it. You remember my Mandalorian rifle yes?” Twilight nods. “Statement: Good. Now think of it this way. Imagine there are 8 Mandolorian rifles attached to this gun. Via a rotating barrel these guns rotate and when they reach a certain degree they fire. Not only does it help with overheating, which by the way I have dual hydrogen cooled tanks attached to this as well, but fire at roughly 8 times more shots per minute. Watch closely”

Quick as a flash HK turns around at some pony shaped/carved pumpkins it carved a little while ago and opened fire. With so many rounds blending into each other, it looked like HK-47 was breathing fire across the distance of 100 or so meters. A constant loud BD-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-! is heard throughout the entire volley.

The pumpkins stood no chance as they were not only obliterated, but melted, melted again, and glassed. And melted and glassed again for good measure. This entire demonstration took roughly 10 seconds.

Discord and Twilight were awed. Awed and afraid and fearful of the droid.

“You know, I now fear for the Griffon’s lives” He tells Twilight.

“Me too” She tells him. “Me too”

Author's Note

~~So guys in the spirit of Halloween i have given you guys a trick and a treat! As you know, this is the treat. The trick, unfortunately, is that this is the second to last chapter (plus an epilogue probably). I originally planned to increase this story by a couple more chapters before this point and incude some star wars stye speaking (so basically politics and why a character does something) but my lust for writing this story has.....fallen to say the least. My pre-reader/editor has given me advice saying i should before moving onto anything else. I'm truly sorry guys. But hey, at least next chapter will be a slaughter am i right? Also Twi-guy if you're reading this sorry i didn't have it go through you but i only just finished the chapter yesterday. So when you see this go ahead and fix it and send me a PM of the corrections or Email me. thanks buddy!~~
Well here's the chapter that was supposed to be published on Halloween. But apparently i forgot about the one before this one so you guys get 2 chapters within one week. Hooray! anyway you can expect the ~~slaughter of griffons~~ final chapter sometime soon ~~(probably within a few weeks)~~ which i will be trying to get out ASAP. until next time guys

War...War never changes

War… War never changes

Another week has passed since HK has had its Show and Tell to its master. Another week has passed for the Griffon Empire and the Equestrian Kingdom. A week has passed for small improvements. Getting the damn mortar to work was one. Another increased the amount of grenades per shot; even increasing the accuracy of the deadly minigun. All while building another half dozen of the anti-missile robots or “T3-M4s out of annoyance for that idiot astromech droid” as it told its master one time when she asked what it was called.

Now HK-47 is standing in front of the army of Equestria with Twilight, Princess Celestia and Luna, Discord, and various ponies wrapped in purple and gold armor: the generals of Equestria. The noise of the army is buzzing in idle chit chat while they wait.

“Are you sure you don’t need our help?” Princess Celestia is talking to the droid as they stare out the opposing enemy forces.

“Answer: Yes meatbag I do not need your help. Just so you morons can feel like you did something you can man the mortars and fire them at the griffons. Sure it probably won’t do much but you ponies are stupid so you won’t know.”

“But what will you do?” Twilight worriedly asks.

“Answer: Why that’s simple master, I am going to pull what is known as a “Leeroy Jenkins”

“What is a-“

“Answer: I charge in screaming. Don’t worry master, my rockets and minigun will make certain nothing living is going to get close to me. If not I can make the T3’s aim lower. Statement: Master if I could I’d be laughing right now. But I can’t so I'm just going to go and start this.”

Equipping its minigun out of nowhere, it turns to face the griffons and starts charging them. With a burst of electricity both armies hear a strange voice scream “Alright chumps let’s do this LEEEEROOOOOOOY!!!! JEEEEEEENKINS!”

One of the royal guards, somewhere from the middle of the army speaks whats on everypony’s mind, “Oh my Celestia it just ran in…” Another guard screams from somewhere “O-oh! Everypony stick to the plan!”

“DO NOT MOVE!” One of the generals screams at the troops. “The plan currently is to watch this idiot of a machine take on the entire Griffon army. We charge in and save the day either when the thing is destroyed or it sends up a flare for help.”

A mumble of uncertainly sweeps through the royal guard army as HK-47 charges closer and closer to the now charging griffon army. Some of the griffons take flight and are immediately shot down by the various T3-M4s HK-47 thought wisely to place down beforehand.

Unleashing a torrent of plasma at the griffons, HK starts firings its deadly minigun. Inaccurate it may be, however by the sheer number of griffons just guarantees a major hit and/or kill per shot.

After unleashing a solid minute of solid plasma at the enemy, the assassin machine decides that it isn’t killing fast enough, nor big enough, so it brings out its trusted rocket launcher and takes aim. A whoosh is heard yet again as the deadly balls of plasma fly across the field and detonate. A mass of griffons scream in agony. The minigun, while inaccurate, served as an effective way to kill living meatbags quickly and surprisingly with little pain. The rocket launcher however doesn’t share that trait. Many griffons are screaming in agony as either their limb(s) are torn off, melted, or half-heartedly still attached. Most died very painfully much to Hk’s amusement.

Quick as an explosion, the machine of death reloads the rocket as fast as it can and fires blindly but accurately. WHOOSH! WHOOSH! WHOOSH! Three rockets go off within five seconds of each other and five explosions go off within five seconds of each other. Screams can be heard from all over the battlefield as griffons and ponies were screaming. Though one was screaming in agony and the other was screaming in absolute terror and fear.

Luckily for the griffons, their suicidal run has put them in range where HK can’t shoot its rockets. If it did it’d risk getting injuries from its explosions. It’s too late for the minigun as well, for it is too big and bulky to be used properly.

With a speed only a droid can produce, HK tosses grenade type after grenade type at the charging army. The T3-M4s are overheating at this point by the sheer amount of griffons taking their chances in the air and flying high in the sky.

Frags, thermals, ions, and every other type of grenade are sent flying at the speed of one grenade per second by the speed of the droid’s arm. With almost no time at all the droid that can bring fear into its enemy’s eyes just by looking at them is out of grenades. And just in time too because although over half the griffon army are dead or dying, they made it into combat range of the droid.

But that’s not the only thing in Hk-47’s arsenal.

With a flick of the wrist HK brings out a fairly large silver cylinder and turns it on. With a WHURRRSH! A long red tube comes out of the tube as HK-47 begins to wield a feared-by-many lightsaber.

“Statement: Activating the lightsaber combat form of Shii-Cho”

The griffons thought that the assassin droid was on the offensive in the beginning, but they were dead wrong when it brought out the lightsaber. Light, fast, and bringing a blood red blade of fury this weapon will forever be burned into any surviving griffon’s memories.

HK-47 wields the blade clumsily, but deadly. While no master at the weapon, it can give any Jedi guardian or sith a run for their money in sheer accuracy and brutality of it all. With each swipe a griffon goes down. A slash this time and another falls. It was more of a slaughter than swordplay. A really clumsy slaughter but slaughter none the less.

Minutes pass and HK is still slaughtering the griffons. Some try to deflect the lightsaber’s blade but the sheer deadly awesome power of the lightsaber cuts through them like a lightsaber through…..metal.

The griffons at this point, despite having a huge number difference despite having the large of majority of their comrades dead, are either charging at where the machine of death is currently at (screams and twirling red lights aren’t exactly inconspicuous you know) or are on the brink of throwing down their weapons and running for it. However King Atlas sees this and starts getting mad.

“YOU INCOMPOTENT IDIOTS!” He roars at them. “You are weak, pathetic, sad excuses of griffons! This devil made machine can be beaten!” As if on cue a loud metallic ring can be heard from across the entire battlefield, stopping everyone in their tracks, including the death-wielding machine.

What had happened was one unlucky griffon got an even bigger unlucky hit on the droid strong enough that the sound echoed. Said griffon is now petrified and shaking uncontrollably. At this point the poor bastard is close to wetting himself. Fortunately he doesn’t live much longer as HK takes a more physical approach and kick him in the neck; sending him flying and leaving him dead on impact.

“You see!?” King Atlas says gleefully. “He can be hit! Therefore he can be hurt! Therefore he can be defeated! Now all of you! CHAAAAAAARGE!” The power-hungry king of the griffons takes out his sword, a hoof crafted especially enchanted blade to be hundredfold stronger than the strongest sword given to him by Princess Celestia herself, points it at HK and runs at him screaming in what can be known as a Leeroy Jenkins Maneuver. The rest of the surviving griffons all took a deep breath, swallowed hard, took out their weapons and charged with their king.

Meanwhile the “good guys” ponies are looking at the rest of the griffons with agitation. Before they had no hopes of winning: They were outnumbered, weaker, and clearly outmatched. But now, with the death of so many they have a chance. The griffons used to have a huge number advantage over the ponies, but now both armies are roughly the same size.

“Alright that’s it!” One of the generals screams, surprising the rest of the generals. “We sat out long enough!” He continued. “SOLDIERS!” He screams at the troops with an amplified voice so everypony can hear him. “The griffons are weakened! We can take them! Get ready to charge!”

“NOOO!” the four princesses (plus prince) scream but they weren’t heard over the deafening screams of approval from the guards.

“Then let’s go get them!” the general screams as he himself draws out his sword and charges. The entire army following right behind him

“They’re going to die. Aren’t they?” Princess Cadence asks nopony in particular. Princess Luna nods her head solemnly, “Yes, indeed, some will die. Not as many as we now hope but some will die” “No! It wasn’t supposed to happen like this!” Princess Celestia moans while Twilight drapes a wing over her former mentor as she weeps for the lost souls.

The griffons are not so stupid as to not hear the screams from the other side. They turn to see the pony army charging right at them. They start to grin with glee. Most didn’t want to fight the demon machine from hell whose eyes can petrify you just by looking at them but they were more than happy to fight ponies. It’s what they signed up to fight. Living, breathing, emotion showing ponies. Not this machine that kills without remorse or emotion. So without a second thought most turn to the ponies and charge at them screaming.

Most of the pegasi take off into the sky ready to take aerial dominance and save the day. Except the T3-M4s don’t see it that way and start shooting at them.

“Musing statement: Hmm guess I “forgot” to turn on the friendly fire tag on those idiotic machines.” HK says to no one in particular as the griffons surrounding him run away to fight the ponies instead of the droid.

“RAAAAAAGH!” King Atlas screams as he charges the droid with his sword. His eyes are filled with anger and hate as he lifts his sword up ready to strike it down.

HK, obviously seeing the attack, turns the lightsaber back on and strikes the sword, deflecting it off its intended target.

“Statement: Did you REALLY expect me to not see that coming? I had you in my sensors from meters away before you started screaming.

Atlas doesn’t reply, instead favoring a quick strike to its center torso. HK catches the blade both hold their ground as their swords becomes interlocked. Atlas’s blade quickly becomes red but holds.

“Musing statement” HK starts as the two opponents disengage. “It is very difficult for a weapon to hold up against a lightsaber for more than a millisecond much less the few seconds that they touched. I'm impressed”

Atlas growls. “I don’t need nor want your appreciation! I'm going to defeat you one way or another!” He then starts a series of barrages designed to put the opponent on the defensive.

If the opponent wasn’t a droid it would’ve worked. But his opponent is a droid so HK stands there as he easily deflects each of the attacks that the mad griffon throws at it. In the background the noise of battle is heard as T3M4s shoot down the last remaining pegasi and griffons, the clash of metal on metal, and the screams of the wounded as they are hit.

“Statement: my turn.” HK then strikes as hard and deadly, being as unpredictable as the form of Shii-Cho will let it. Blow after blow the droid hammers at the griffon, each hit on the blade makes his sword glow redder and redder while HK’s lightsaber holds its deadly blood red glow.

“Mock Statement: oh dear, it looks like your blade is weakening. I wonder how long it will take before that blade gets cut in half and you meet your doom.”

“This blade will break when you die!” he lunges at the droid.

The two opponents lock blades once again. Both never give ground. Though one’s sword I about to give out.

“Why!?” Atlas cries out. “Why!? All I wanted was to gain more power for the griffons! Is that too much to ask!? The “princesses” The disengage and start sword fighting again. “The zebras! And the changelings to a lesser extent! They limit my pushes for power! We’re marked as the lowest of low! Ponies and zebras would trust changelings before they trust us and vice versa”

“Query: So you think the best course of action was through war? While I like your style that really isn’t the way to do it”

“Yes yes I know, but you were my best bet! You could’ve turned the tide of political power! I just wanted us griffons to be treated equally. No matter what the cost.”

Both swing their weapons at each other. Both swords make contact with each other. Atlas’s sword, after taking a huge beating and is almost unrecognizable, finally gives in and snaps. The lightsaber, still being propelled forward by the force of HK’s swing, keeps going and slashes the griffon king in the chest. With a scream of pain he goes down.

“Statement: well I guess I win meatbag.”

“I….I guess you did. Before you kill me, tell me this. What are you going to do to me?”

“Answer: I am going to rip off your head because I don’t like your head. It was fun fighting you though. You fought well for a meatbag. You might have even killed a jedi or two.”

“I still don’t know who those are but….. just finish it already.” His head is hung low. He accepts his fate and just wants to die at this point.

HK brings his saber up one final time and one final time swings it at its opponent. With a sickening slash the former king known as King Atlas is dead. Nothing else can be heard except for the moaning of the living fallen or the weeping of the survivors as the horrors of war finally sink into them

Because war…. War never changes

Author's Note

Well guys here's the final chapter to FiMeatbags. I'm not going to waste your guys' time with a bunch of apologies so I'm just going to make ~~one~~ two. Again sorry for the long wait. I was very lazy and had small writers block. However i had spare time and ideas were coming in so here you go. Second apology: I'm sorry if the second half of this story(not chapter mind you) seems rushed. It probably was after all. Seriously though i was really hoping that by the end of this i would have a really decent story and go roughly 50k words or so. But i didn't so sorry. Anyway I'm going to do my best to get the epilogue out sometime before the new year so expect it in a few weeks.

Epilogue

Epilogue

The following day the casualty reports came in.

The Equestrians suffered roughly a couple thousand losses. No more than 3,000. Most of those casualties came from quote on quote “Friendly fire. It’s not my fault that you ponies have a similar build to griffons” as said by the droid that is now known entirely by a world.

The griffons got the worst of it as expected. With the death of their king and the loss of several dozen thousand griffons, the newly field promoted heir to the throne immediately surrendered. Celestia, taking extreme pity and mercy, accepted the surrender, much to HK-47’s disappointment. Secretly though, Celestia was glad that the one sided war is, as short as it was, over.

Fairly soon after, the new king of the griffons is making peace arrangements and setting up trade routes with their bordering neighbors; the changelings and the zebras. The griffons have taken up the most pity on the changelings as they set up twice as many trade routes with them than their pony-like friends.

Within said year the desert land that the changelings call home is grown into a lush paradise-like land. The dead grass has become a lush fresh happy equestrian green. The rocks replaced with trees of every variety. The sun, once a sign of death and dread, is now a sign of prosperity, warmth, and happiness to the changelings. The entire place looks like if the Everfree forest if ponies took care of it instead of it taking care of itself.

During that entire year the zebras starting allowing foreigners that were not political figures into their lands. Many ponies, griffons, and even some changelings flocked to the strange exotic world that their black and white striped neighbors familiarize themselves with. Some wrote books about the place and almost every single one became best sellers. Others took pictures and those that came back to Equestria early got their pictures into big time newspapers. Most just took home souvenirs that they show off to their friends and family and go onto a shelf to collect dust.

Overseeing this world wide recovery program is the three princesses (Cadence was busy with her own country to rule to offer any help) and Discord to a lesser extent. The royal sisters helped the neighboring countries (especially the griffons but they didn’t like their help much) in their war of politics while Twilight Sparkle is building a national monument for the one week war’s final and only battleground. It is meant to remember any and every fallen changeling, zebra, pony, and griffon that fell during this war. Discord was off doing his own thing the entire time. Sometimes he offered help and 50/50 they end up either helping or wasting a lot of time.

But before any of this was started there was one being that didn’t participate. One single sentient machine. It had a job to do given to it by its master. So it did as it was told and walked up to the bitter colds of the Northern Equestrian Border. A place where temperatures get cold enough to freeze the hottest metals of the galaxy. A place where even a Lightsaber would have trouble keeping up its strength in the blistering cold.

HK was sent to destroy something. The something not named, only that it will know it when it sees it. The droid will not stop unless told otherwise, its mission is complete, or it dies trying. And it will be damned if it dies trying.

To this day no one has seen the droid. Some say former King Sombra has taken the droid. Others say it was frozen in the tundra. Or that it suddenly decided to go AWOL. Whatever the case it escaped the public’s eyes and eventually their mind. More than likely it will come out when Equestria needs it most. But no one knows for its final fate is never known.

Author's Note

Well here's the epilogue to FiMeatbags. Not much to say here as everything i want to say has been said