A Princess and a Potion, A Curse and a Cure
Chapter 1 - Confessions Go Both Way
Twilight clenched her eyes shut in a blind panic and briefly wondered if it was possible to hurt oneself by closing her eyes too hard. She had said the words, and now, there was no taking them back. Twilight had no doubt about what was going to come next. She was prepared for the rejection.
With her eyelids blocking out all light, her other senses kicked into a higher gear. The carpet beneath her was incredibly soft, and the smell of fresh flowers filled her nostrils. She could hear song birds from outside the window and in her minds eye could envision the Princess’s study around her. Twilight realized, that despite what was coming, she felt safe.
While she did not open her eyes, the muscles in her back relaxed and she allowed herself to breath. The Princess would be gentle, but Twilight did not want to see it. The sad but kind look on the Princess’s face would just make everything worse for the unicorn.
As she sat waiting for Princess Celestia’s response, Twilight marveled that she had finally worked up the nerve to tell her mentor. She had actually made a similar confession to her princess once before while she had still been a little filly. It had been on Hearts and Hooves day, and Twilight had even made a card with construction paper and glitter. This was not so different than that time, or at least that was what Twilight was telling herself. For a time she had thought she had grown out of her feelings. It had taken seeing Princess Celestia again after saving Luna from Nightmare Moon for the Twilight to realize how wrong she had been.
Twilight’s heart beat heavily in her ear, and for a moment, she was worried that she would miss Princess Celestia’s response because of the rush of blood. The beat was frantic and slowly rising to a roar. As the seconds seemed to pass, she could feel her ears growing increasingly warm.
She was ready for the rejection that was surely about to come. Twilight had not taken the early train to Canterlot with any real hope. However, she needed to be honest and not just with herself. She needed the rejection and closure before she could move on with her life. How else could one get over a goddess? While Twilight was ready for the rejection, one question squirmed around in the back of her mind. It irritated her as it rubbed against her other thoughts.
Why hasn’t she said anything yet?
Suddenly there was a shift. The rustling of hooves against the carpet told Twilight that something had moved. Then the pallet of aromas transformed. The smell of flowers was replaced by something that Twilight was blessed to know. Few ponies were as familiar with the scent of their Princess’s mane. The smell was one that Twilight had struggled for untold hours to describe it in words. The best she had ever managed was that it was the essence of pure light.
The light invaded her nose and threatened to overwhelm her. She was a filly once again with her snout buried in her mentors mane seeking comfort. Only, Twilight was not seeking reassurance, but the feelings were multiplied tenfold. Twilight inhaled deeply, and with a start, realized that something was tickling her nostrils.
Twilight lived her life through magic, and it was through magic that she experienced the world. Everypony’s magic had a different feel, a different look, and a different taste. The unicorn felt a telekinetic force acting on her chin. Even if she had never encountered the magic before, it was unmistakable. It seemed to caress and sooth her. Her horn tingled at the magical content. It was so warm, just like a summer day.
Twilight did not know when she had begun to tremble.
The force gently - it was oh so gentle - lift her head so that she was no longer staring at the floor with her closed eyes. Twilight still did not dare to open them, but she could no longer remember why she had closed her eyes in the first place.
A warm breath blew across her face. Soon she was breathing in the air being exhaled by the other pony. It was the most delicious air she had ever breathed. Twilight had never known air could have flavor. Her mouth opened a fraction as her tongue ran along her top lip, trying to bring in more of the taste.
Before coming to Canterlot she had done her research. She had approached her problem like she would any other. The books had given numerous pieces of advice and described any number of scenarios. Twilight had even talked with a few of her friends, though she had been careful not to give anything away. However, based on all of her studying, what she was currently experiencing was not at all what she expected rejection to feel like.
Another breath came.
She wasted no time taking a shuddering breath of her own. Her entire body warmed as the air filled her lungs. There was no way Princess Celestia was further than half a hoof from her nose. Twilight’s face was on fire and her body was electric. Every one of her muscles seemed to quiver with anticipation. It was some primal flight or fight response.
Twilight remembered reading about that. A pony could experience a flight or fight response while nervous. Their body would prepare them for action. Was she just more nervous than she had thought? Twilight latched onto the thought as a possible explanation. She was adrift and the anticipation of being rejected was her life jacket. The rejection was still coming, the Princess was just waiting for Twilight to open her eyes.
So Twilight did.
At first her eyes began to open slowly. However, while her vision was still just a blurry sliver, her eye lids suddenly rose to meet her brow and her eyes were opened as wide as they had ever been. The unicorn was greeted with the sight of her Princess leaning over her and the feeling of lips pressed against her own. Twilight’s mind shattered. This was most certainly not on her list of possible outcomes. It seems she had been ill prepared.
So the Princess was kissing her.
Later on Twilight would try and describe the kiss in her Journal. She would want to go into detail about how wonderful and fantastic it was. However, she would realize that it had happened so fast that by the time she had her wits about her it was over. Her first kiss came and went before she even realized it.
Princess Celestia pulled away and spoke ever so softly.
“Is it alright?”
All Twilight could do was dumbly nod her head. Even though all she would remember from the first kiss was the excited tingle on her lips, the second kiss was forever burned into her memory. It was not long or hard, but it was perfect. The kiss was as gentle as the morning sun and caused her entire body to quiver and twitch.
When they pulled apart Twilight felt herself melting into a puddle on the floor. That kiss definitely was nowhere on her list of contingencies, and she felt at a loss for what to do. However, despite her scattered thoughts, one question pierced her mental haze.
“Princess... You feel the same way?”
Despite the kiss - the TWO kisses - Twilight still could not believe what was happening.
“I want you to be happy, my most faithful Twilight.”
And the Princess kissed her again. It was deeper this time, and the sensations almost caused Twilight to miss the meaning of the Princess words. As nearly impossible as it was, she forced herself to pull away from her teacher.
“What... What do you mean?”
“I mean that I want you to be happy. This is what you want is it not?”
Twilight could not help but think that her teacher looked somewhat sad.
“Yes... I mean, not just this... I want you to feel the same way. Do you... Do you not feel the same way about me?”
The heavy sigh sent Twilight into a tailspin.
“I’m sorry Twilight. I’m afraid I cannot return those feelings. But as I said, I do want you to be happy, and I do have a slight confession to make. When Spike had that little cold of his, it wasn’t just library books that he accidentally sent me. I’m afraid I got a few pages from one of your journals... We can do those things if it will make you happy.”
Twilight recoiled in a storm of emotions, the first of which was just embarrassment. She had noticed the missing pages from her journal, but when Celestia did not return it to her with the rest of the books, Twilight had assumed that they had been consumed by some of Spike’s non-magical sneezes. The fire had certainly been more than enough to destroy her drapes. Unfortunately, it was not obvious that the Princess had read them. However, the emotions that followed the embarrassment were far more powerful. She could hardly believe what the Princess was proposing.
Twilight wished she had a bucket of ice-water to cool her burning face.
However, out of everything, one fact was more important than all others. Twilight had been rejected, just not in anyway she had expected. Part of her was flattered that the Princess would care so much about her happiness, but it did little to console her.
Twilight frowned as her stomach flipped and she idly wondered if she would soon be tasting vomit. She had never been ‘devastated’ before and supposed that she now experiencing that emotional state.
“I’m sorry Princess. It sort of needs to be an all or nothing thing. It means a lot to me that you are concerned about my happiness, and that you would be willing too... Well yea. But, it would have been better if you had just rejected me outright. I understand though... How could a pony like you ever love somepony like me...”
Princess Celestia’s backed up and her neck straightened out. Twilight absently noticed the alicorn’s eyes going wide. Had Twilight said something wrong? Had she offended the Princess?
“Twilight, I think you’ve misunderstood me. You’re a wonderful pony, do not ever think otherwise. I did not mean to say that I don’t love you like that, I mean that I can’t love you like that. It’s physically impossible for me to love anypony in the way that you want.”
Twilight wondered if Celestia could hear her blink.
“You’re saying you’re incapable of love?”
“Not all love my student. For example I can feel storge, affection for ponies. I can also feel philia, the love for a friend. I can even feel agape, a type of unconditional love that I feel for you my student. However, eros, romantic love? I am capable of many things, but that is not one of them.”
Twilight was nearly dumbstruck. She had felt prepared when she had departed for Canterlot. Her research had covered possibilities ranging from being banished and then put into prison where she was banished to the possibility of just being ignored. The thought came to her mind unbidden, ‘How was I supposed to know alicorns have some weird thing that means they can’t feel passion?’
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know... It must be lonely for you and Princess Luna. Or is it a thing where you don’t mind it because you’ve never experienced it?”
Despite how awful she felt, Twilight was not going to let the opportunity to learn more about her mentor slip between her hooves. If nothing else, at least one good thing would come from the entire fiasco.
“Luna?”
“Err... Your sister, Equestria’s other alicorn and princess.”
“Oh, I see. No, no, no. Luna is not under the same curse as myself. She is perfectly capable of feeling romantic love. In fact, I suspect she currently has a crush on somepony - but don’t tell her I told you that. I haven’t figured out who it is yet.”
“Curse?”
Now Twilight was certain that there was some sadness in her mentor’s eyes. The Princes sighed in a way that Twilight had heard only a handful of times in her entire life.
“Yes... There was a well meaning, but rather overeager noble many, many years ago who had been determined to capture my heart. Unfortunately, the magic he used nearly destroyed Equestria and left me unable to love.”
Twilight turned the new information over in her mind until she made a connection and nearly jumped into the air.
“You’re the princess in my book! Somepony used a love potion on you? And how nearly do you mean when you say ‘nearly destroyed?’”
“Ugh, I thought I had all records of Blueblood’s potion expunged... Yes, I’m afraid that I was involved in that dreadful affair, and when I say nearly destroyed, I mean the word in its fullest sense.”
“But my book on Hearts and Hooves day said that the once the spell is broken that all the effects should have be undone.”
“You are correct my most faithful student, but that was written under the assumption of short exposure. I’m afraid that I was under the effects of the magic for the span of an a year and a day, more than enough time for it to kill my heart. It is just a miracle that I had a strong enough force of will to rise and set the sun for most of that span.”
“Kill your heart?”
As fascinating as the history of Equestria’s virtually undocumented brush with destruction was, some things were simply more important. Still, Twilight hoped that when everything was said and done she would have a chance to ask Princess Celestia more about it.
“Yes... It did not just freeze my heart. Ice can be melted by fiery passion and warm compassion. Nor did it turn my heart to stone. Love and time would have eventually worn it down or cracked it open. An entire year and day under the magic simply choked out my ability to feel that type of love, like weeds choking out a flower. What can you do for a dead thing? Once life is gone it can not be returned. Reviving of the dead is beyond even me. But trust me when I say that ponies have tried to revive my heart. Over the years many ponies have vied to be my suitor.”
Twilight sensed that her roller coaster ride was nearing an end. However, she was determined to take one final plunge.
“Maybe it’s just that nopony has tried hard enough.”
“Come again?”
How easy it had been for Twilight to give her earlier confession to the Princess. It had just been three simple words blurted out in haste. If she had even considered that a possibility other than rejection had existed, she probably never would have been able to muster the courage. Now, against all odds, the possibility of acceptance existed. There was a chance, however slight, that Celestia would agree to what Twilight was about to propose. That, more than anything else that day, terrified the poor unicorn.
She paused to take a deep breath and planted all four hooves firmly on the ground. Nightmare Moon and Discord had been nothing. Her earlier confession had been laughable. What she about to say next would require real courage. Her eyes lit up with a spark.
“Maybe none of the other ponies who have approached you have loved you enough. Maybe none of them knew you well enough. I would like...” Twilight paused as she gulped and nearly swallowed her on tongue. “I would like permission to court - to woo you.”
Twilight wanted to face-hoof as soon as the words were out of her mouth. She had tried a last moment recovery, but felt that she had only managed to sound even stupider. Still, she had said the words. She had conveyed the idea.
Twilight Sparkle would not deny that a none too insignificant portion of her was hoping that the Princess would simply shake her head in refusal. It would be so easy for the entire train wreck to end then and there. Twilight would be able to leave broken hearted but with her head held high. She would have the knowledge that she had been true to herself and that she had failed through no fault of her own. Would it even count as failure if the pony she confessed to was incapable of loving?
However, to Twilight’s immense horror, the Princess beamed her a radiant smile and nodded her head in ascent.
“Very well. I hereby give you permission to attempt to woo your princess. However, I do not want you to get your hopes up; there is no raising the dead. But I am willing to give you the chance to try. If nothing else, I am sure you will get some good friendship reports out of the experience. I am also looking forward to spending some more time with my most faithful student. Hmm... We will have to do something about that.”
Twilight was afraid to ask, and despite her best judgment, she inquired anyway.
“About what Princess?”
“It would be unbecoming for a student and teacher to be engaged in a romantic liaison, even if that teacher is one of the Princesses of Equestria and that Student the most capable unicorn that Princess has ever met. For the time being then we will need to make a change. Starting today you are no longer Twilight Sparkle my most faithful student. Instead, you are Twilight Sparkle my most faithful suitor.”
The reality of the Princess’s words came crashing down on the pony. In a flurry of motion she quickly hugged the princess in gratitude and was quickly bouncing towards the exit while trying to resit the urge to yell out ‘Yes, yes, yes!”
“Twilight where are you going?”
And she landed on all four hooves with a loud thud as her face turned as bright as a tomato.
“Um... Well to be honest I wasn’t exactly expecting this and so I’m not sure what comes next. I need to go to the library and find some books - if that’s OK, Princess. I’ll send you a letter... with details about our first date! That’s what ponies do right? There is so much to research. Trust me Princess, this will be so much fun. I’m sure I can break the curse or whatever it is. This project is bound to be a success.”
As Princess Celestia smiled at her student turned suitor, the lavender unicorn resumed her bounce out into the hallway and down towards the palace exit.
+++
Celestia would have to admit, Twilight’s enthusiasm was infectious. Ultimately, she did not think her student would succeed, but the Princess realized that she was rooting for the bouncing unicorn. If nothing else, her words had been true. Since Twilight had moved to Ponyville, Princess Celestia had missed her. It would be nice to spend more quality time with the other mare. From the window the alicorn watched her suitor bounce through the courtyard. If anything was going to happen it was best to begin thinking of Twilight in that fashion at least for the time being.
Suitor not student.
Suddenly Celestia’s smile began to turn downwards. Celestia remembered Twilight’s last words as the unicorn had been leaving, and she also remembered some of Twilight’s other projects. The unicorn was ever eager to please and always pursuing new experiments. Unfortunately, it seemed that a large number of those experiments ended badly. Certainly, it needed to be harder to set things on fire than the unicorn made it seem.
Celestia was beginning to wonder if she might have been a bit hasty in agreeing.
She did not want the palace being set on fire again. Celestia sighed as she began to write a letter requesting that the palace’s fire suppression system receive an inspection. She was probably just being paranoid, but it was better safe than sorry. Especially since she was going to be the center of Twilight Sparkle’s newest project.
Author's Note:
I love Twilestia.
I just needed to write this after the most recent episode. As soon as I saw that picture in Twilight's book, I imagined it in the way that I've edited it for the story image. I just really like this basic concept.
This story is going to be in the back seat until I am done with Equestria's Twilight. However, you should still expect at least a chapter a week. I've only got ideas for about another three chapters after this, so comments will spur on my brainstorming - even if its just saying what you liked.
As always, criticism and critique is appreciated.
Chapter Two - The First Date
At first Celestia did not realize what she was feeling. However, when she saw her smile the mirror, she realized that it was enthusiasm. Even though she had no idea what was in store, she was excited about the evening’s upcoming activities.
As much as she teased Luna about being out of touch with modern pony-society, she really was nopony to talk. A thousand years of pulling double duty as the sole ruler of Equestria had left her behind the times. The time had not existed for her to experience all the culture that existed. Luna had yet to take back all of her duties, so Celestia still found herself overworked. She could not remember the last time she had gone out for a ‘night on the town’ as it was.
Whatever Twilight had planned, Princess Celestia was certain it would be radically different than what she thought of as courting. At the very least she hoped that some of the old practices had fallen into disuse - she was never a fan of the duels that courting used to involve. There had been a time when she had her hoof on the pulse of Equestria, but that time had ended with the defeat of Nightmare Moon. Now, she was especially out of touch with the common ponies. With the nobility, she could at least keep track of their fashion by watching them in court.
Big hats were apparently in at the moment.
Still, she no longer understood what ponies enjoyed or what they found funny. If she was ever completely honest with Twilight, the unicorn’s friendship reports had been of great aid to not only Luna, but herself as well. Of course, she would never let Luna know that she was learning things from the report as well. It was just too much fun to make fun of her little sister.
Celestia had been a little bit concerned that Twilight might not be the best pony to use for her to judge the interests of the ‘average Equestrian,’ but she figured that with her friends it would all average out.
Currently Celestia was enjoying breakfast with Equestria’s other ruler. They ate at the break of dawn, and it was one of the few meals that they consistently were able to share with one another.
Lunch, dinner, and night lunch always tended to be state affairs. They were held in grand dinning rooms - a separate room for each meal - and always in the company of dozens of other ponies. Breakfast, however, was for just the two of them. The room was small and intimate, and the table would be cramped with more than six ponies.
“Luna, are you sure that you will be all right taking over my afternoon duties today?”
“Oh most certainly. We are looking forward to our first afternoon and evening on our own. Will thou be enjoying yourself in thy study?”
“Actually, I’m going on a date.”
Celestia had waited for Luna to be taking a sip of tea and was prepared for the spit-take that followed. A brief pulse of magic kept herself dry.
“We are familiar with that term as it is used today.” Luna paused as she leaned forward over the table. “Are we correct in our understanding that thou speakest of a romantic liaison? What of the curse thou told us about?”
“You’re right about the meaning of the word, and yes the curse is still in affect. I suppose you can call this an experiment if you would like.”
“We understand... So thou art ‘dating’ some noble pony then?”
“Oh no, not at all. I’m going out with Twilight Sparkle.”
Celestia was not expecting Luna to spit out her tea a second time.
“Twi - Twilight Sparkle? Thine student?”
“Yes.” Celestia frowned as she levitated a napkin over. “Is there a reason you’re so surprised by that?”
“Um, no reason sister... But are thou surest that going out on a date with your student is truly prudent.”
Celestia looked at her sister with a critical gaze. Luna was acting strange - or rather, stranger than normal. Unfortunately, she had a lot of work to accomplish before Twilight arrived at the palace. She would need to investigate her sister’s behavior in more depth some other time.
“I will admit, perhaps it is not the best of ideas. But it is my suitor’s heart desire, and I am just thankful that she has never realized that I am unable to deny her anything. I think I have managed to avoid spoiling her too badly, so it’s OK if I indulge her in this.”
“So thou doesn’t feel anything for the pony?”
“That is an oversimplification of things, but essentially yes. As I said, the curse is still in affect. Twilight is aware of this but has decided to proceed with our date anyway. Hopefully, as time goes on and you get to know her better, you will discover that she can be quite determined.”
As the princess of the night spoke, her voice dropped to a near whisper. “We see...”
“Is everything all right Luna?”
“Everything is... fine. We wish thou the best of luck on thy calender date.”
Celestia stared at Luna unable to determine if her sister was joking or not. As the dark alicorn continued to look at her expectantly with blinking eyes, Celestia realized the unfortunate truth.
“It’s just date, Luna. Just date.”
+++
Celestia was walking along the street with Twilight Sparkle, and two guards trailed behind them. As her sun inched towards the horizon it beamed its warm light across their backs, casting long shadows before them. Already, she felt content. Ever since Twilight had moved to Ponyville, she did not get nearly enough time to spend with her.
“A carnival?”
“Um, no...” Celestia could see that there was a slight hint of a blush on her student’s face. “Really Princess, I didn’t mean for it to be a surprise, and ‘You’ll never guess what I have planed,’ was not meant as a challenge. I don’t mind just telling you.”
“Nonsense Twilight, where’s the fun in that. Oh, are we going to a quill store?”
“No, we - wait what? Why would we be going to a quill store?”
“Well on a date you’re suppose to go to places you enjoy, are you not? And, I know that you enjoy shopping for a good quill.”
“But the pony who plans the date is supposed to put the preferences of the other pony first and foremost.”
Celestia looked at Twilight in surprise and wondered if Twilight had read the same reference book as her. She supposed it could also simply be that most of the books on dating agreed on that fact.
“Hm... Well I’m not as much of a fan as quills as you my most faithful stu- suitor, but I still enjoy picking out a good quill as much as the next scholar. What else could it be then? What about-”
“We’re going to the theater!” Twilight blurted in frustration, unable to contain herself.
Celestia pouted at the unicorn for ruining her little game, but could see that Twilight was embarrassed about her outburst. She would allow the mare to go without any teasing.
“Twilight, that sounds absolutely fantastic. I love the theater.”
Twilight beamed with pride as she spoke, “Yes Princess. I remember you mentioning once that you wished you could go out more frequently, and the research I did suggested it as a good first date activity.”
“Well I think it sounds just wonderful. It’s probably been over two hundred years since I last had a chance to enjoy a good play. What is the one we will be seeing about?”
Twilight sparkle levitated a pamphlet along with two tickets out of her saddle purse.
“Um, it seems it’s about two nobles who are on different sides of a debate about agrarian tax code...” Twilight trailed off as she flipped the pamphlet over looking for more information. “But from everything I’ve heard it’s really good. Rainbow Dash couldn’t stop talking about it.”
Celestia looked at her date in confusion as she said, “Really? From everything you’ve told me about her, I wouldn’t think that the theater would be something that she would be interested in.”
“Hm... You’re right. It normally wouldn’t be the type of thing that Dash would like.” Twilight paused, seemingly lost in thought as if the fact had just occurred to her. “I guess that means that this play must be really, really good.”
Twilight nodded in agreement with her own words, and her smile seemed to indicate that she was satisfied with her own conclusion.
They continued their leisurely walk towards the theater hall. Even before they had reached their destination, Celestia could honestly rank the day as one of her best in quite a long time. It was relaxing to simply walk and talk with her student turned suitor. Twilight Sparkle had always been a joy to spend time with, something Celestia had missed since sending the unicorn to Ponyville.
However, Celestia knew her student very well. The occasional awkward glance down and away, the unicorn trailing off and failing to complete sentences, all of it pointed to the fact that something was wrong with Twilight. She was worried that the younger pony was regretting asking the princess out on a date.
“Twilight, something is wrong. Please tell me what it is.”
“Oh it’s just - I’m not use to all the attention. All the ponies are staring and when we pass they’re all bowing. I guess I just realized that I’ve never really been outside of the palace with you before. Well Ponyville doesn’t count; I’m used to all those ponies being weird.”
Celestia chucked before she replied. “I’ll admit, the residents of Ponyville might not be the most normal of ponies. To be honest with you, I hadn’t noticed the attention we’ve been receiving. Eventually you learn to tune things like that out. Perhaps I have done you a disservice by shielding you from the eyes of the courts. Most ponies know that I have a student, but outside of the Grand Galloping Gala, I think few of them have ever met you.
“It might actually be wise for you to begin socializing with more of the noble ponies at formal events. If you are interested, the flower ball is approaching.” Celestia paused as another pony bowed and Twilight seemed to squirm. “Maybe on our next date I will go incognito if you think it will make you more comfortable.”
“Our next date?” Twilight’s eyes were as big as saucers.
“Oh, is that presumptuous of me? I just thought that to be the usual flow of things. I apologize if I was jumping ahead. I suppose I have just been enjoying myself so much already.”
“You have nothing to apologize for Princess. I’m enjoying myself as well.” Twilight smiled up at the Princess but then saw the sign for the theater up ahead. “Oh! We’re almost there. I stopped by earlier this morning and reserved us a box, so we shouldn’t need to wait long in line.”
“You mean you’ve gotten a whole balcony box just for ourselves? If I remember correctly, those tickets tend to be... pricey. If you would like I can pay for my ticket. I don’t want you straining your wallet on my account.”
“Oh, my stipend was able to cover it just fine.” Twilight waved her hoof as if it was a non-issue.
“What do you mean, your stipend? I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t you remember, Princess? When I was a filly and tried to get a job so that I could afford cards to send to my parents, you decided I should receive a weekly stipend for being your student.”
Celestia nodded her head at the memory. Twilight’s idea of trying to get a job was to sneak into the armory and put on a suit of armor that was far too large for her. The filly had then tried getting herself assigned to the patrol roster. Celestia had told the palace’s steward that Twilight should receive an educational stipend. She supposed since she never gave any order to reverse it, it was still in effect.
She wondered just how much Twilight’s stipend was for. After the incident, her student had never again expressed any sort of need for bits, so she assumed it had to be for a decent amount. It would also explain how Twilight was living in Ponyville without a job. Celestia blushed when she realized that she had sent Twilight off to live on her own without thinking about the pony’s financial state in anyway.
Celestia nearly tripped when a thought occurred. Twilight was paying for the date with money she had received for being her student. However, Twilight was no longer her student but was now officially her suitor.
“Does that mean I’m technically paying you to take me out on this date?” Celestia muttered under her breath.
“What was that Princess?”
“Oh, nothing. Just thinking to myself is all.”
Celestia waved her hoof to dismiss the conversation. She would need to have a discussion with the steward. It would not do for ponies to get the idea that their princess was paying ponies to court her. Perhaps Twilight would need to get a job for the time being. After all, there was certainly some official position that they could give her in Ponyville.
Soon they arrived at the theater and needed to deal with a minor scene. Apparently Twilight had failed to inform the theater that the Princess would be in attendance. However, it was an understandable mistake for the younger pony to make. Princess Celestia should have told the Twilight that it was normal protocol to inform places that she was coming ahead of time.
She hoped that her presence did not make the actors nervous. Since it was her first time seeing a play in such a long time, they might feel pressure to perform better than usual. Still it was best to put such thoughts out of her mind. She was there to enjoy herself, and worrying about ponies other than her date would be counterproductive.
Twilight and Celestia were sitting in a balcony by themselves in what seemed like the best seats of the house. The lights dimmed and Celestia felt a hoof bump into her own. She looked down and saw Twilight’s hoof touching hers and she smiled at the unicorn. Twilight blushed in response, glancing away bashfully, and Celestia wondered why.
As the play went on, Celestia was dismayed to discover just how out of touch with modern pony humor she was. The audience was frequently roaring with laughter while she was left looking around in confusion. Her only consolation was that Twilight did not seem to be finding much amusement in the play either, but even that was only a shallow consolation. She wanted her date to be having fun.
Laughter ripped through the audience again, and Celestia had not even realized a joke had been made. She looked at the unicorn, and it seemed like Twilight was trying to shrink into her seat. Celestia was worried about how red her former student’s face appeared. She hoped that Twilight was not coming down with anything. It would be a shame if Twilight fell ill on her first date.
The audience laughed and again and Celestia leaned over to whisper a question into Twilight’s ear.
“Twilight, I am not certain I get the joke. Why is it so funny that he wants to ‘plow her plot?’” She paused leaning next to Twilight when suddenly something occurred to her. “Oh, is it because nobles usually do not dirty their hooves with field work? It’s unrealistic that he would want to work on her plot of land?”
Celestia could swear that she could feel the warmth radiating off of Twilight’s ears.
“Um... That’s exactly it Princess.” Twilight’s voice was a meek whisper. “They’re talking about field work.”
Celestia clopped her hooves together in delight. She was finally getting a hang of modern pop-humor.
“Ahh, and that must be why everypony laughed when the heroine talked about handling the heroes tool. They were talking about his plow!”
Princess Celestia heard Twilight mutter something in response. She could not make out the words, but it had sounded like, “I’m going to kill Rainbow Dash.” She looked on at her student in concern.
Twilight certainly did not seem to be feeling well. Her companion was sinking even deeper into her seat, and Celestia sighed. She had been hoping that Twilight would have a good night. It was unfortunate that Twilight seemed to be getting sick. Celestia put her fore leg around the ailing unicorn to comfort the pony and leaned over whispering into Twilight’s ear.
“After the play, let’s get you in bed.”
Twilight really needed to get some rest if she was going to fight off this illness. Celestia was shocked at how tense the unicorn was, and she began rubbing Twilight’s withers to help her relax. She did not want to cut their date short, but perhaps she would need to take Twilight back to Ponyville during the intermission.
Celestia also frowned as she thought about the play. She had no idea that Equestrian tax code had gotten so bad that ponies considered it funny. If the current practices of the Equestrian government were so laughable, something needed to be changed. She frowned as the audience laughed at a pony who was discussing the inspection of ‘many plots.’ It seemed the opinion of ponies on the issue were far gone.
She would need to call a meeting of Equestria’s high council of representatives to discuss the issue. Perhaps she would recommend to the nobles that they go and see the play as a reference. It would be good if they all had the same basis of comparison. However, at the moment her concern needed to be Twilight.
As the crowd laughed again, the pony seemed to grow even redder. Her student now looked like a purplish tomato. Perhaps it was just the noise that was bothering her student. Celestia hoped that Twilight would feel better.
She squeezed Twilight around the shoulders to show her support.
Author's Note:
Poor Princess Celestia, completely misinterpreting the situation.
If I didn't mention in the Chap 1 Author's note, humor is something I'm not too practiced at, so please call me out on things that don't work.
Also, hopefully I struck a good balance between the play being raunchy and innuendo filled.
Next chapter is the conclusion of their date.
