Twilight's Book

Twilight's Book
Epilogue

He stared at the white ceiling, finding it oddly calming. A small swirl like pattern had been embossed into the surface, giving him an idle task as he laid there. His mind was completely silent; no thoughts interrupted him as his eyes traced the circular lines. When one would dead end into another, he would follow the new line, until it too ended. He cascaded around the ceiling, following lines in a circle until he couldn’t even remember where he started.

All the mindless tracing was giving him a headache. He even started to feel sick from staring at the pure white above him. The light was bright, leaving few shadows, which only made him strain his eyes to see the lines in the first place. Tired from tracing, he closed his eyes. He laid there, letting the darkness relax his headache and nausea, until he felt numb. It was almost like this was a dream.

The ticking of a clock was the only noise filling the room. It was so quiet, each tick and subsequent tock echoed like a drum. The sound filled the room, and consequently his thoughts. It was obnoxious how loud the clock was. It made him wonder why he was wasting his time here. He could literally hear the seconds of his life ticking away.

“So, Mr. Shining Armor. How about we begin?” An older mare’s voice pulled him from his daze. He opened his eyes to find the white ceiling still staring back at him. The nauseating swirls still there, waiting for him to trace them once more.

“How about we start with some simple questions, alright?” she asked. Shining nodded his head softly.

“What is your name?” she asked.

“Shining Armor.” He slid his hooves under his head.

“And your mother’s name?”

“Twilight Velvet.”

“Father’s name?”

“Night Light.”

“And the names of the two rulers of this country?”

“Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna,” he replied.

“Good, at least you’re in touch with reality,”she said with a small chuckle. Shining Armor was dead silent. “If you don’t mind, I would like to give you some more difficult questions now.”

Shining armor nodded his head again, already tracing the lines in the ceiling once more. The clock had drifted to the background, no longer annoying him as much. The white on the ceiling wasn’t making him sick either. “Whenever you’re ready,” he answered.

“How are you feeling after the incident?” the mare asked. She succeeded in pulling his attention from whatever was more interesting than their conversation. She held a clipboard with a quill in her magic, ready to write. She was peering at him over her glasses, patiently waiting for his reply.

“I’m not too sure.” he turned his attention back to the ceiling, though he wasn’t following the lines anymore.

“Not too sure?” she tapped the tip of her quill against the paper on the clipboard.

“I’m not sure how I should feel...” he clarified slightly.

“Well, why don’t we start with what’s going through you’re head right now?”

He sighed a bit. “Confusion, I guess?”

“Well confusion is an emotion at least. It is better to be confused than to not know how to react.” She scribbled something down on her clipboard before turning her eyes back to him.

“I mean...How should I react? I got news that my sister went crazy and killed seven other ponies and herself. I suppose it’s still sinking in.” He turned to look at her. She had her hoof placed under her chin, but not in a bored way. She motioned for him to continue, as if she had read his mind that he still had more to say.

“It’s so...uncharacteristic of her...There was never any kind of...I didn’t know she was even capable of doing something like this. It‘s a lot to take in...”

“Well, let’s get away from the present, and talk about your family then,” she suggested. “You were close with your sister right?”

“Yeah, she was always there to cheer me up when I was feeling down. When she was younger, she was a spastic little ball of energy.” He had a small smile on his face as he reminisced about the past. The mare nodded her head as she listened. “She was always asking me to read a book to her or something. It didn’t bother me too—well, maybe when I got a little older, but it wasn’t usually too much of a bother.”

“And how about your mother?” she asked, scribbling down a few lines onto her clipboard.

“She was supportive. She was always making sure we were taken care of, and had everything we needed for school. But it was my dad...He always was pushing Twilight.”

“How so?”

“My dad worked for the magical R&D division in the government. He wasn’t the best with magic, or physical strength, but he was smart. He was really good at critical thinking, and problem solving, a trait he tried to instill on us kids. I guess he gave up on me when he saw my grades in school, but he always had hopes for Twilight. He was always asking her questions, trying to get her to think harder about stuff.” His eyes drifted back to the ceiling, staring at it, but looking past it. “He was so proud of her when she became Princess Celestia’s student. I never saw that look in his eyes, even when I made captain. He spent so much time with Twilight helping her study when she was younger, but I think he even struggled to keep pace with her.”

“Did you notice anything about her back then?” she asked, looking up from her clipboard.

“She was always a curious kid. We never thought anything about it at home.” He paused for a moment. “Well...then again she did seem different after she finished her first year with the princess.”

“How so?”

“She started doing weird things...” Shining armor sat up on the plush couch he had been lying on. “There were a few times I caught her just staring at the clock in our living room. Not because she was bored, but because she just liked looking at it. She said it calmed her.”

“So she developed an interest in clocks?”

“Yeah, but interest is a bit of an understatement—it was really weird how fascinated she was with them. I think it was about that time she started using the word “tick” in her everyday speech too. I guess we just dismissed it, and before long we kind of stopped noticing it.”

“Well changes in speech are common, perhaps she picked up the word form the castle?” she asked.

“The castle...when she came home after her first year, she always had a ton of homework. My mom worried that the princess was overworking her. But Twilight told me once that she had to do all that work or otherwise she’d get “the itch” again. I didn’t really get what she was saying, and she never really brought it up after that.”

“The itch?” the mare asked after scribbling down some more words onto her clipboard.

“Yeah...wait you don’t think the princess did something to my sister, do you?” he asked the mare’s opinion. She looked a bit taken back by the sudden request.

“It’s not really my place to say. I wouldn’t rule it out, but most of the time these types of...disorders...are hereditary. Which is why you’re here, undergoing psychiatric evaluation.”

“Yeah...because everypony’s worried I’m going to haul a bunch of my troops into a basement somewhere and chop them up or something.” Shining Armor rolled his eyes. He didn’t have to be psychic to see that’s what ponies were thinking. After the incident with Twilight went public, everyone had looked at him differently. It was as if they expected something from him, like he had answers. Some ponies even look at him like he would do the same that his sister did.

“We’re mostly evaluating you to see if you’re at risk to yourself. We’re doing this to help you, not persecute you.”

“Whatever.”

“Now, Mr. Shining Armor, we’ve talked about your family, how about a bit about yourself? What are you interested in?”

“I’m not obsessed with clocks like my sister was...” he said coldly.

“I’m not asking about your sister, I’m asking about you.” she replied, looking up from her clipboard.

“This has to be hard when the pony your asking knows what you’re trying to get out of them.”

“There’s no reason to defensive about it, Mr. Shining Armor. I’m simply interested in what you do for fun.”

“I told you, I’m not obsessed with clocks or anything like my sister was, we can drop it.”

“This is about your mental health. I’m only trying to help you. Having interests is considered normal, and surely you have some outside of your position.”

“...Chess,” he finally relinquished, rolling his eyes.

“Chess is a fine hobby,” she said with a small smile. He could hear the sound of her quill scribbling as she wrote a bit more down on her clipboard. After the sound stopped, he could see her looking back at him out of the corner of his eye. “What do you enjoy about it?”

“This is stupid...” he muttered to himself.

“There’s nothing stupid about it.”

He let out a sigh. “It’s about strategy. It help me stay sharp, and really lets me get into a ponies head, find out what makes them tick...” His body tensed for a moment when he realized what he said. “Sorry about that...It‘s not what you think.”

“It’s just a word. No reason to apologize over it.”

He paused for a moment before continuing. “I usually challenge the other officers, but lately they haven’t been very fulfilling. They all lose no matter how much I handicap myself.”

“And what do you mean by “fulfilling”?” the mare asked, looking up from her clipboard.

Shining Armor paused for a moment again. He looked at the mare to see her waiting patiently for his reply. “They don’t offer up much of a challenge anymore, so I’m growing a little board with it. I was thinking of trying a new hobby. Maybe poker? I hear that has quite a bit of strategy involved.”

“You’re being very selective,” she said with a small smirk.

“How so?”

“You’re leaving out your feelings. You used fulfilling before—a very emotional word, implying you had a deep satisfaction before—and then you changed it to challenge—a more callous, impersonal word. How exactly were they fulfilling in the first place?” she probed.

“Well, when I first started playing chess with the officers, I used to lose a lot. I never really had an interest in it until I got promoted to the officer corps. I guess the former captain took an interest in me. He was the one who taught me to play. He showed me that any military engagement can be fought like a chess match, and those with the stronger strategy would win.” His eyes drifted over to the clock. It was almost time for their little session to be over.

“And chess was enjoyable for you when you first started playing?”

“I suppose. The game was new, each pony I played against was a different opponent —there was always a new strategy to see. But now it’s gotten stale. No pony has really given me a challenge lately...”

“So, you’re not getting that same high as when you played with the former captain?” she asked, trying to bring his attention back.

“Even the former captain couldn’t keep up with me once I learned the rules,” he stated coldly. “A great solder, but his chess strategy was predictable after the first ten moves, and he would always employ the same thirty or so tactics.”

“So by the tenth move you could counter his strategy?” she asked.

“By the tenth move I could tell him how checkmate would play out turn by turn. As a solder you never have much use for critical thinking...that’s what I used to tell my father. But now that I’m an officer, I use it quite often. I think he might have rubbed off on me as much as I hate to admit it.”

“Do you hold some resentment towards him?”

“I guess. After I read the report about my sister’s...incident...I guess I kind of blame him.”

“Because he was always nurturing your sister’s inquisitive nature?”

“Yeah...and now I guess I kind of blame the princess as well...”

“Why is that?”

“She had to have known about it! Twilight didn’t act weird like that until she spent a year with Princess Celestia!” He slammed his hoof again the arm of the couch.

“That’s a rather brash claim,” she scribbled something down on her clipboard again. This time, seeing her write something struck a chord with Shining. He just spoke something that could get him in trouble, and if the princess were to see it, his career might be over.

“What did you just write?” he asked her.

“It’s not important, what is important is how you’re dealing with the death of your sister,” she said without looking up at him.

Shining used his magic to snatched the clipboard from the mare’s magical grip. Her eyes shot to him in disbelief. “What do you think you’re doing?” she said firmly, trying to pull the clipboard back, but it was no use. Shining Armor was a powerful unicorn, comparable in strength to his sister. As hard as she pulled, he didn’t even seem to notice.

He looked down at the slip of paper she had been scribbling on throughout their session. “Father issues, latent superiority complex, denial? Is this what you were going to report back to the princess?” he demanded.

“Those are unfinished notes! Look down further and you will see I have been writing down everything you’ve said. Those are guiding topics for your future visits, Mr. Shining Armor. They’re to help remind me where we were going in previous sessions, and to guide you to talk about those subjects.” she explained.

“Guiding subjects? How is Father issues a guiding subject, or latent superiority complex?” He stood up off the couch, keeping an eye on the psychiatrist.

“Mr. Shining Armor, our time is up. Why don’t we start with this next week,” she said barely above a whisper.

He could see her pushing herself further into her overstuffed chair, her eyes trembled as he loomed over her, her body tensed in anticipation—she was scared of him. He bit his lower lip in self anger. He had scared a mare he didn’t even know over something she wrote on a piece of paper. He dropped the clipboard on the table next to her before walking towards the door.

“Go ahead and add anger management to that list,” he muttered. “I’ll see you next week.”

The End