Oh Gawd what the Buck (Regidar's Commission)

by Ginger Pony

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Big Macintosh, Random, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1237

Regidar asked. I delivered. Full of what-the-buck clop where Twilight summons a rather... Strange being...

Regidar asked. I delivered. Full of what-the-buck clop, where twilight, through a magic spell, summons a strange creature, and cloppery shenanigans happen. This is the censored image; Uncensored can be found in the chapter.

at 22:04, Regidar requested something be wrote about a picture (which if he could PM me that would be marvellous.)

At 23:31, I started writing.

At 00:13, I finished.

this was created.

I upheld my part of the bargain, now he needs to uphold his.

Published 2013-06-25 01:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-25 01:10:01 UTC

This is a Disaster

Yes! She'd finally done it. After weeks of preparation, Twilight Sparkle now stood in the main area of Golden Oaks Library, the curtains drawn and the candles being the only source of illumination. She grinned, with a slightly manic look, as the pulsating orb in front of her grew and shrank in size, as the colour changed through every hue of the rainbow. This was the creation of a summoning spell; to bring somepony from their dimension to hers. The thought did pass her mind that, if they were sentient beings, she could be removing them from friends or family, she could be bringing something that was dangerous, or a creature that couldn't survive in these conditions; but the thought passed quickly. Because she was Twilight Sparkle, and she didn't give a shit weather or not something was morally wrong; which was probably why she didn't bother learning a return spell.

But, back to the orb, which suddenly popped like a balloon, as a rather more solid form landed on the ground, slipping onto it's side.

Ha-ha! Success! Twilight laughed aloud, as she quickly scribbled some notes down in a note pad, before turning back to the pink creature. She levitated over a broom, and poked the pony-like form in the ass.

"Hey! watch where you're poking, Bitch!" The form was evidentially female, and looked like a pony, but was built like a horse? a... horny? Twilight chuckled lewdly, before she snarled and poked it again right in the plot for calling her a bitch.

"Ah, Fuck you!" It swore, before getting onto all fours, and turning to face Twilight.

It was pink, thank you captain obvious, with a short purple mane and tail. All Twilight could think was that it looked fuck-ugly. Like, Snips-mated-with-Snails ugly, and trust me, she knew what that was like, and she was thankful that her town-wide memory wipe spell worked.

One think that did catch her attention though was, to be blunt, a flaccid horse cock plastered on the poor pony's pate. It sagged down, past ugly little beetle-black eyes, and down a fucking-overly long snout, the head resting just behind a shittingly ugly snout. Well, that's what Twilight saw, which was true. A phallus was indeed, attached to the pony's forehead, complete with a set of small pink balls.

And Twilight laughed. "Ahaha! You fucked-up piece of shit!" She couldn't help it, and started rolling on the floor, tears of superior mirth leaking from her eyes as the dick-head glared dick-daggers at her. It was a common case though around Twilight, as the unicorn-master-race often shoved her supremacy down other ponies throats; or on their faces if she was particularly horny.

Suddenly, Twilight stopped, and peered at the pink pony-horse-dickhead-thing. She got slowly onto all fours, and stared quizzically at the twitching tip.

"Is that shit natural?" She asked. Staring past her, well, technically, under her, as the creature stood a whole head above her, Twilight could see a plain vagina at the creature's rear, so this was already weird.

"For some." The ponything said, staring cross-eyed at the protruding penis poking her pink snout. "we call them 'drilldos', and you're very gifted if you have one."

For you dumb shits out there, 'Drilldo' is an amalgamation of drill and dildo. A 'drill' being the slang word for a unicorn, as most of modern-day Equestria was so fuck-tardily stupid, they lacked the mental capabilities to utter words more than two syllables long. Twilight was one who disliked the term, and would often show her capabilities as a drill, by drilling a new orifice into their chest. with her drill.

And a dildo, for those who are even more stupid (Like, how are you reading this if you don't know what one is?) is a plastic replica of a penis, varying in size and/or colour. Twilight, in fact, owned her fair share; the largest she nicknamed 'Brutus'.

"A Drildo?!" Twilight cackled, eyes screwed shut in laughter.

She then opened them to an even more hilarious sight. The penis was growing. The pink pony's phallus was growing and raising majestically like... well... a dick, hardening as blood rushed to it. All the while, the owner of said hardening tool was staring blankly at twilight, evidentially not embarrassed by it.

"Cackling fuels erections for us." It said plaintively, answering Twilight's thoughts. Although suddenly, Twilight found herself not giving a shit. she found that she couldn't insult it, as it seemed to lack the mental ability to understand sarcasm and offensive wit, and it's penis was far too high for it to be of any use to her, which was 2nd on her to-do-list, third being world domination (part 3 of 5 currently in effect).

"Meh, whatever." Twilight muttered, feeling bored and tired. She stood up on her rear hooves, stretching and yawning very, very wide.

Bad idea Twilight.

With a whinny, the thing galloped towards her, and in one solid motion, shoved it's erect member down Twilight's throat, whinnying a second time in primal pleasure.

Twilight's eyes widened as she felt the cock in her throat. It went in easily, seeing as she'd had years of practice down at the changeling brothel, and she successfully swallowed sixty centimetres of stallion slong. She moaned gently, lips sealed around the shaft, as the creature slowly face-fucked Twilight, it's head moving back and forth in the dirtiest head-bang known to Equestria.

And all too suddenly, Twilight felt the penis pulse, as glob upon glob of glob globed down her globed gullet. Some glob globed out of her mouth, revealing rainbow glob that trailed down the glob-cannon, the beetle eyes behind the glob-sacs staring at her. globily.

Then, Twilight began to feel really strange. With an almighty crunch, the rainbow-jizz picked up speed, as it shot through her intestinal systems, before shooting out of her ass, thrusting her into the air as the rod came out of her mouth. A sound not unlike a barking Yorkshire terrier emitted from Twilight's rainbow raving rear, as she rocketed from one room to another, landing in her kitchen.

The creature walked in a few seconds later, it's head-member now flaccid and dribbling liquid rainbows, and a smirk on it's face. With one final motion, it flicked it's head towards Twilight, flapping a final strand of seamen right onto twilight's muzzle, before the creature turned around without a word, and left the library, humming 'poker face' by mare gaga.

Twilight huffed, raising to her feet in preparation to chase after her/him/it. Nopony leaves before I cum..., and this was true, as she was superior, and deserved to have her own way with anypony.

However, as she trotted into the main area again, face and ass covered in rainbow seamen, she found none other than BigMac, heaving a small cart of firewood through her front door. firewood she needed for her fire; a fire for burning any pony she despised. Trixie, for example.

Mac saw Twilight, looking rather fucked-up and horny. He paused, and cautiously spoke to her as she approached him, all thought's of the dick-head pony gone from the latter's mind.

"Twilight? Yah okay?" He asked, as she drew nearer and nearer. Oh no...

"Twilight? Can yah hear me? Twilight?

"TWILIGHT!"

~Fin~

Author's Note

Now to uphold your end of the bargain, Regidar...

EDIT; Uploaded cover image and fixed any typos found.