Fallen Gods

The morning light enters the library through the windows, illuminating the entire area as things begin to focus in my tired eyes. Green leaves brush against the sun window next to my bed, clear light blue skies and a certain phoenix of mine that tilts its head looking down at me as I’m lying down.

“Why isn’t Celestia ever late on raising the sun?” I ask with a scowl. Peewee squawks and tilts his head to the other side. “Yeah, it does seem like it too early today.”

I push myself up off the bed imaging the faint echo of Twilight’s lecture on waking up early. I was never as productive as she was; I just did what she told me and wrote letters.

Seemed easier back then, I didn’t have so much more responsibility running the library alone with a phoenix that is a flying case of arson. His company is worth the trouble though, ever since Twilight now lives in Canterlot being mother’s -umm- Celestia’s representative of council.

An errand girl with godly power, I miss her, her voice, her smile, just the simple comfort knowing that she is here. Everything is eventual I suppose.

I walk down stairs stretching my wings into the main room where a lot more books now resides in solid cherry oak wide shelves. A gift from a princess who is an avid reader, I have not seen her in so long, but Ponyville carries on somehow. I just blend into the background now.

The door opens and the customer bell rings with hooves trotting on the hard wood. Sweetie Belle’s beautiful humming softly heard as she closes the door behind her. I glance at her flank seeing her cutie mark. A pink heart, inside it is a microphone and musical notes around it. Very suiting. Her voice is incredible and calming like a soft ballad.

“Morning, Sweetie Belle, I’m going to go smoke for a bit, you good here?” I ask pointing a thumb at the door as she nods but glares at me.

“You know that smoking can kill.” She tells me sternly, but I’m a dragon! I breathe fire and I can smoke without a cigarette.

Absent of the flavor though.

“I’ll live. Oh, don’t let Peewee near the books. For some reason he burns up the vampire/vampony section.” She looks up at the phoenix sitting on the bird rest above her then looks at me with widen eyes. “I’m sure you’ve got it taken care of.”

I start to turn around and notice an empty space on a shelf in the mythology section that should be filled. An old beaten book with no title, metal edges and a symbol of a spiraling dragon dead center of the cover, I’ve seen it so many times, I expect there and no one has come in for a while.

“Sweetie Belle, look at the check-out log and tell me the last book that was barrowed.” I say still staring at the blank space hearing Sweetie Belle rummage through the log laid on the desk.

“Uhh…A Daring Danger Doo novel was checked out by Rainbow Dash last week.” She answers and I turn to her.

“She still reads that series?” I ask with a groan.

“Yeah, and her late fees are the only thing funding the library right now.”

“Huh. Well order more of them and be on the lookout for a book that has a spiral dragon on the cover. Somepony might have missed placed it and put it on a different shelf.”

“A dragon spiral symbol? I’ll be on the lookout for it.” She replies. “You know what’s it about?”

“I never read it. I’ve only seen Twilight read it a couple of times. It’s her book.”

“It’ll turn up!”

I got my brown satchel from the hook hanging by the door and leave Golden Oaks Library for a walk with no desired location. I pull out a pack of Diseased Stallion cigarettes then take one out and light the front end with a small fire breath.

I take that long first drag and feel it fill my lungs, that light charred taste that stains the mouth, that small, relaxing rush the comes over you.

The newspapers say that the cigarette companies found a way to modify the tobacco plant doubling the nicotine potency, ever since both Discord and Princess Luna approved of the lung causing cancer sticks, but mother, I mean Celestia allowed for sixteen year olds to buy them, since a creature was allowed to be an adult, and gamble as well as drink alcohol when they reached the age of eighteen so I was happy when I did turn sixteen two years ago, been smoking ever since.

Other ponies didn’t take well to the fact that large corporations mutated plants to sell more cigarettes. I was on the other side eager to try a stronger brand. Smoking doesn’t affect dragons as it does ponies, so I can see their side of the argument. Why make a product that can kill you twice as fast? In the end, it’s just a pony’s choice to smoke or not.

“Hey Spike! What you doing?” Pinkie Pie asks following my pace besides me while tilting her head staring at me with those large blue eyes. How she can sneak up and pop out of any given moment eludes me, but you really can’t question Pinkie. She just is what she is. An eccentric ameba wrapped in an anomaly.

“Just smoking.” I say to her plainly.

“Just smoking!” She mocks me with a serious face then reverts back her normal bubbly one. “You know, you need to smile a lot more! You always look angry!” I’m not angry, I’m not happy, I’m not bitter, I’m not sad. That’s what I’m not, not what I am. I don’t know and I don’t care. She starts to bounce circles around me.

“I’m smiling.” I tell her.

“I can’t see it!” She sings.

“On the inside.” She stops bouncing and walks backwards in front of me with a perplexed expression laid over her face.

“Can you show me how?” I look at her blankly. “I still can’t see it.”

“It takes practice.”

“Oh, I remember now! Have you seen Applejack? She was supposed to deliver fresh apples this morning to Sugarcube Corner and hasn’t been by! It’s not like her to be late.” She tells me with a worried frown.

“I haven’t, but maybe there was a broken wheel in the wagon or she woke up late?”

“Okay, that makes sense. How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.” She stops walking backwards and me from walking forward. She leans in with her face close to mine staring at me with narrow eyes. I take another drag from the cigarette expecting something unexpected and she does. She wraps her hooves around me hugging me tightly.

My cigarette falls from my mouth onto the ground as I scowl and gently push her off, already irritated. She drops to the ground and raises a hoof to my face with her warm, remorseful eyes staring into my cold, emotionless ones.

“I really hope you are Spike.” She steps back places her hoof down. “Come with me to the shop. I’ll give you a ruby cupcake if you do!”

“You know what time it is, right? She might be there.” Rarity is usually there to get a red velvet cupcake at nine thirty in the morning on a Friday to make the weekend start special. For the longest time I would fetch for her like a love sick puppy hoping that it displayed my affection.

“So what if she’s there! You’re getting a free cupcake!” She grins widely. “I won’t take no for an answer.”

“Pinkie, you never take ‘No’ for an answer!”

“There is a reason for that. It’s bad for your health!” She whispers and I chuckle.

“Fine, you twisted my tail.” I pull the pack of cigarettes out of my satchel and a pink hoof pushes back into the bag.

“Not while you are with me mister!” Pinkie scowls at me. When it comes to her, you have to oblige.

We walk to the Sugarcube Corner and Pinkie talks to me, and talks, and talks, and talks until her words morph together into a conjunction of syllables continuously streaming out of her mouth relentlessly. I try to catch every third word so I could know if I needed to nod or shake my head.

That’s Pinkie for you. Two apples short of a bushel and too many for a basket; Applejack once said. I don’t want her to change though. Her quirkiness is her lovable charm that you can’t stand, but at the same time would miss if was it gone.

“What do you think Spike?” She asks me and I’m caught zoning out as I look at her riddled with slight guilt.

“What?”

“Were you even listening? I said that they shouldn’t call autobiographies ‘autobiographies’ if they can’t write themselves! I tried to write one, but I didn’t know that they didn’t write themselves, so I just ended up staring at a blank diary and a pen for a full day! I swear I saw that pen move though.” She veers her eyes to the right upper corner to what I assume is her thinking or her hearing of the echo in her head.

I turn to see where I’m walking to until I see Fluttershy’s face colliding with Pinkie’s. They both topple to the ground with Pinkie laying over Fluttershy’s back. Pinkie gawps at her friend under her who peers back with a soft blank expression.

“Oh, Pinkie! I’m sorry, I should have been more careful.” Fluttershy weakly says with a humble smile.

“Fluttershy, you were just standing still then Pinkie walked into you.” I state.

“Yes, this means that it was entirely my fault for standing in a busy street!” She replies. I look around not seeing the herd of ponies trotting on the street, but a few scattered ones.

“There’s hardly anyone here.” I tell Fluttershy as Pinkie gets off of her then I see Fluttershy’s left wing bandaged up like a mummified appendage. “What happen to you wing?”

“Oh, it’s just a sprain. I was trying to save a poor little kitten on a tree top, but then something scared me and I fell to the ground. I landed on my wing pretty hard, though it feels a lot better now. I hardly feel a thing.” She replies moving her injured wing and her eyes start to water.

“What scared you?” I ask her as she gets off the ground and lowers her head.

“Uh…”

“I know, I know!” Pinkie shouts as she bounces raising a hoof in the air as if she is trying to reach the sun, giving me the answer.

“It was Pinkie, wasn’t it?”

“Awwww! I knew the answer!” Pinkie sits on the ground crossing her hooves pouting her lips.

“Why were you on the tree?” I ask her.

“I saw a cute, itty bitty kitten and it wanted a view of Ponyville, or milk, but I don’t speak cat.” She replies and I just gape at her taking in the complete random quark that is Pinkie. If I could think like her for a day, I don’t think I get much done, but I wouldn’t bucking care.

“Have you guys seen Rarity? She was supposed to pick up Opalescence early this morning, but I’ve been waiting for an hour now. It has me worried, she’s usually punctual.” Fluttershy says looking down on the ground with distant eyes.

My throat tightens as I was unenthusiastic to talk about her. “She’s just running fashionably late, it’s her style to have ponies waiting on her.” Right now, I wanted a smoke so badly my body cries for it, but something seems more amiss as a large shadow comes over us. I look up to the bright sunny skies being swallowed by dark grey clouds rumbling and forming.

“It was scheduled to be sunny to day. What happened?” Pinkie asks sensing the foreboding feeling as I do. There’s no smile, just worry on her face.

“Rainbow Dash wouldn’t let a wondering storm near Ponyville unless it was scheduled.” Fluttershy says.

“Anyone hear about an emergency shower happening today?” I ask. Both Fluttershy and Pinkie shake their heads at a loss for words. “Fluttershy, you said Rarity didn’t pick up Opal?”

“Yes!” She replies “She always picks up Opal early Friday morning after her grooming. Then she take the long route home to pick up the red velvet cupcake as per to her tradition.”

“Applejack didn’t come to deliver the apples to the bakery this morning.” Pinkie adds.

Applejack could be late for unexpected reasons, Rarity could have been pulling an all-nighter for orders and over slept, but Rainbow Dash would never derelict her duty as a weather-pony under any circumstances. The absence of one is concerning, but all three at the same time is...wrong, something is wrong.

“Fluttershy, go with Pinkie and see if Applejack or Rarity past through already. I’m going to check on Rainbow Dash.”

“O-okay.” Fluttershy voices cracks. She looks at Pinkie and bites her lip. They head off, but Pinkie stops and turns back to me as the rain starts to lightly fall.

“We’ll be waiting at the Sugarcube Corner for you! Bring Dashie!” Pinkie yells through the hiss of the pouring rain growing heavier then leaving me. All the other ponies take shelter from the coming shower.

I spread my wings, feeling the wind flowing under them and I take a breath lowering myself to the ground. Everything is better up there, everything is better.

I can’t convince myself, I still don’t like flying, but no choice right now. I push myself off the ground with a strong flap of my wings launching me straight up and I feel my gut is back on land. My muscles slightly quiver as I try not to look down concentrating on my balance.

“Now spread your wings and glide” I hear Dash’s voice in my head giving me a sense of comfort.

Thunder rumbles and the rain is harsher as the wind fights me throwing off my stability. Don’t fight the wind, ride it! I feel the current as it moves me through the storm, but I can’t see much beyond the haze of the rain, only the flash of light and the lightning strikes sending strong vibrations through the air and my body.

I continue to head through the storm to Rainbow Dash’s house in the clouds as I grow more tired and tired with my wings yelling in pain and my satchel feeling heavy from the pouring water weighing it down, so I quickly take it off letting it drop. It doesn’t matter right now.

I’m at the rim of Ponyville not seeing Dash’s home where it usually looms over wondering if the wind carried it away. Dash would never let a strong storm to build over Ponyville; it would go against her pride on being an efficient weather pony. She wouldn’t leave, she wouldn’t neglect the weather, she wouldn’t…So what was it that happened?

I look around only seeing heaps of grey clouds moving in the wind surrounding me in a closed dome, a large pocket of nimbus as the air feels electrified tingled my scales. I peer below me and see electrical branches coursing in every direction and the tingling turns to a burning numbness as time seems to slowly pass.

A blinding bolt of lightning shoots upward right next to me and my body goes limp, my vision goes black and my mind falls into the darkness.

*****

“Don’t be scared! Everything is better up there!” Rainbow Dash ensures me as tears hang on the rim of my eye lids. I huddle up trembling at the thought of being higher than five feet off the ground.

“Toughen up solider!” She shouts, but it’s not really helping my courage, instead of strengthening my complete doubt that I was meant to fly. “Look! You grew those wings, now you have to use them!”

I look at my new wings, flexing them, still getting used to the new appendages that spontaneously grew out of my back a year after Twilight left. I never expected them to spout out, nor did I ever expect to use them. I’d thought that they’d be more of a decorative piece.

“Look, Dash. I’m not the flying type! I bake, I can organize in several types of orders, and I can eat an entire gem crusted cheese and spinach pizza in under fifteen minutes and regret it in only five seconds after.” I tell her and she doesn’t look amused.

“You call those accomplishments?”

“I appreciate the small things in life.” I reply with a roll of my eyes.

She approaches me and lowers her head staring directly into my eyes and the air suddenly grew colder. My teeth start to rattle; my palms sweat and my scales itch at the thought of whatever she is going to me. It’s not going to be for my benefit.

“Spike, close your eyes.” She says to me and my jaw quivers.

“I-I don’t want to.” I nervously reply.

“Don’t you trust me?” She asks emotionlessly keeping the same stern glare knowing my answer.

“To preserve our friendship, I’m just going to say yes against all better judgment.”

I close my eyes as I curl up into a ball hoping that I can trust her. I feel something clamp down on my tail yanking me off the ground as I place my claws over my eyes too afraid to see what’s happening, but the sensation of the wind riding against me and the low howl strikes fear in my chest.

The air is cold and thin as it seeps into my body. Out of unconscious curiosity, my claws uncover my eyes as they open seeing the ground far and blanketed a light blue vapor filtering the clear view of it.

I hoped I was dead and that I’m currently having a nightmarish out of body experience, but I’m not that lucky. I scream till my lungs become sore and my throat is raw. A pair of hooves moves under my arms and I hold on to them for dear life as they lift me up till a short coat of fur brushes against my back. It’s the only sense of comfort right now.

I look up and see Rainbow Dash looking back down with a pleasant smile that softens the anxiety, her magenta eyes reflect the sun’s light giving them the illusion of being glistening like lilac orbs.

She looks away and closes her eyes taking a breath as her rainbow hair flutters in the wind. A small cluster of clouds drift behind her. For some reason, I’m no longer afraid.

“See buddy! Everything is better up here!” I believe her. Against my better judgment, I believe her. “Now, here is your first lesson in flying.” She tell me and the anxiety rushes back in.

“Wait, what?”

“Don’t worry! I’ll be with you all the way.”

The hooves that were holding me suddenly let go and I fall seeing Dash grow distant with every second with an eager expression.

I close my eyes and huddle up in a ball hoping that Rainbow Dash would come to her senses and save me from her ego driven insanity. Something pulls my claws off of my eyes but I still have them shut tight.

“Open your eyes Spike!” She shouts.

“I-I can’t! I’m scared!” I shout back.

“Open them Spike!” I oblige slowly raising my eye lids to see her falling with me looking unafraid with a joyous smirk. “See, I told you that I’d be with you! Spread your wings!”

******

Open your eyes Spike!

My eyes open seeing the ground coming at me as its spinning. My body feels like its being stabbed by pins all over and still feeling numb with a foggy head. I can’t snap out of it.

Spread your wings!

My body reacts to the faint voice, spreading my wings breaking my descent that was still pretty high up, but the wind blows even harder than before with the currents random and shifting to different flows that I can’t balance myself out as I rock left to right.

Just below me I see Rainbow Dash’s house wrapped and obscured by the wind as it drifts and breaks apart. The Rainbow fountains run dry and everything else is just a bleak twisted formation of clouds as is most of its former glory sending my mind to a horrid state of worry.

I retract my wings and dive down hearing the air whistling against me. I move down several tens of feet passing through a couple of cu nimbuses as I grew closer to the house. I spread my winds and glide towards but the current sends me in too fast.

Closing my wings I twist and flip turning myself around and reopen the breaks gliding against the wind slowing my approach to the house.

I go through the entrance of the cloud home just feeling a cool mist and spin around. The inside of the house is painted grey and distorted into a cotton funhouse with lightning flashing through the deformed windows and thunder rumbling violently.

“Dash!” I yell hoping for any sound but the gale outside is the only thing I hear. I fly through the hallway looking in every room I pass seeing no sign of her. “Dash!” I yell even louder as frustration and fear overcomes me. I go through the cloud ceiling into the second floor and zip around realizing that she is not here. Then where is she?

I led myself to believe that Tank is with Fluttershy as I clenched my claws into fist, this is not making any sense and I don’t have anything to go on.

The wind begins to tear into Dash’s house and I’m thrust backwards by the powerful gust unable to gain stability. As I fall, I see my friend’s home being ripped into formless clusters then disperses into nothing.

The rain drops over me feeling the sharp droplets against my scales as I plummet gazing at the spot where the house used to be and my heart sinks until I don’t feel it in my chest.

I can’t tell if I’m crying apart from the rain splashing on my face from the sheer disquiet. I continue to plunge not really caring if I hit the ground. I have to find her, and know if she’s okay. She has to be!

I drop till the wind is a little calmer then I open my wings and drift along heading back to Ponyville. Rainbow Dash taught me how to fly and above that, she’s a great and irreplaceable friend that I hold dear.

The thought of her in trouble or…or. I can’t even think. Something builds inside me overpowering the worry into anger that burns my blood hastily pumping it, sending a primal urge gnawing at my mind.

I flap my wings seeing everything around become blurred the more I do. Colors blend and fuse and the wind screams as a force presses on my body feeling my insides descend. I’ve never done this before, but I listen to my body guiding me. Why does this feel natural?

“Spike!” I hear faintly shouted and the world is back to normal, no longer a smear of grey and cool colors.

“Spike!” I look down and see Fluttershy distraught gazing up at me in front of Sugarcube corner. I didn’t know that I was already here.  I head down and land next to her suddenly feeling light headed as my claws slide on the thick mud stopping a few feet away from her.

I start to breathe heavily hunching over starring into the wet ground as everything slides back in and out of focus.  I’m not used to such strong gravitational force pressing on me.

“Spike, are you okay?” Fluttershy asks coming up by me and shields me from the rain with her good wing as I catch my breath. “Spike, what happened?” I turn to her seeing her apprehension.

“Where’s Pinkie?” I ask,

“She went to Sweet Apple Acres farm to check on Applejack just a few minutes ago. We asked Mrs. Cake if Rarity came by prior her routine, but she hasn’t, I was supposed to wait for you to find her.” A part of me is reluctant to see her, but with Rainbow Dash missing and the possibility that Rarity might know where she is, I had no choice.

I stand back up and Fluttershy retracts her wing. “We’ll check the boutique.” I tell her calmly.

We run through the main street against a gale and storm showing no signs of lightening up. Hooves and claws splashing on puddles and stepping through muck with muscles burning on empty fumes.

I didn’t feel comfortable flying off leaving Fluttershy to trail behind, though I never seen her like this. Fear and worry sending her to a placid panic that she is repressing and channeling it to will with every thrust of her legs propelling her forward with me slightly trailing behind.

    *****

My disinclination on seeing Rarity has been festering inside me, serving my dreaded thoughts a nice over stacked platter of negative emotions ever since I confessed my affection towards her. That coy smile dismissing my feelings as some adorable childish confession and crushing me with her petty superficial ideas of a perfect Prince Charming sweeping her off her hooves.

“Oh, Spike. That’s incredibly sweet and very flattering, but it would be impossible. You’re a dragon, and I’m a pony. I could never be with a dragon. Our dissimilarity is too conflicting. You may not be my Prince Charming, but you’ll forever be my little Spike.” She told me then walked away still holding a smile.

Blinded by her overwhelming naivety to a fictional happily ever after only to find that nopony can meet her expectations. Is she blind for delusion of wanting to live in a fairy tale or was I blind for loving her?

Since then, I’ve have been avoiding her, no longer doing her biding as a love sick puppy begging for a treat. Shortly after that Twilight left to Canterlot and I was left alone in a library sulking into the books that where left behind as a sign of sentimentality.

No matter if I’m surrounded by ponies that I have befriended in the past years, If I’m in a crowd or even talking to Peewee knowing that it’s a one way conversation, I always felt alone.

An abandoned dragon trying to blend in against ponies trying to fool himself that he belongs with them. Why I am still here is beyond my self-aware mind to simply comprehend. I guess I even fooled myself to a point where I’m am oblivious to my own intentions.

*****

Standing in Rarity’s front door with the sensation that I’m really not here, that I left myself fall from the sky and this is an elaborate fabrication of my subconscious, but wishing is not going to make this any less real. I knock at the strongly door making sure that our presence is announced, but there is just a long pause filled with foreboding tension and silence.

“Rarity! It’s Spike! Are you there! Open up, it’s important!” I yell and still there is no answer. I turn to Fluttershy noticing her hurt eyes and her jaw quivering. She dashes to the door and pounds on it repeatedly.

“Rarity! Please open up and let us know that you are okay! Please open up! Please!” She shouts as tears streams down her cheeks. She stops knocking with her hoof rested on the door; her head droops down and she drops to her knees sobbing.

“Please Rarity! Please!”  Fluttershy vainly pleads as nothing happens and nothing keeps happening.

I lower my head to the door knob and build a spark in the back of my throat then gently blow a neon green flame until it turns to a bright cherry red. Fluttershy leers at me, befuddled as I palm the scorching door knob hearing it singe some scales, but it’s nothing I can’t withstand.

I pull out the knob with the inner part spilling down in a melted grey liquid burning the ground. Rarity could bill me later for the damages. The door slowly opens with a subtle creak in the hinges presenting an ominous darkness dwelling inside looking too familiar of a setting. Nothing about this is comforting.

“Rarity!” I call out hearing an echo.

I turn to Fluttershy knowing that the unsettling ambiance is a mutual sense. “Fluttershy, check the second floor and I’ll cover the first.” I order and she nods. My spine tingles, my gut feels cold and my heart feels heavy. I hope we just missed her in Sugarcube Corner and that this was unnecessary.

I hear Fluttershy call out to Rarity from the second floor as I skim the first. I search through the kitchen, the dining room and a ridiculously large linen closet assuming that is more fabric storage.

I enter Rarity’s work area being suddenly startled by a flash of lightning illuminating one of her manikins wearing an unfinished dress. I take a breath calming down for the brief shock as I scan the room. An array of different fabrics and ribbons scattered on her cutting table.

Various dresses and outfits on more manikins making them appear a little animated. I veer away about to leave the room until a solid thump emits from behind the workbench in the center of the room and more thumps follow rhythmical along with a faint wheezing gasp.

I circle the bench slowly staring at the linoleum floor as I do. I become horrified and dumbstruck as I see a pool of blood underneath a white unicorn banging on the bench with one hoof. Her other legs are severed and laid beside their former positions, her horn sawed in half and her mane hastily cut.

I quickly approach and knee at her side panicking. I can’t form words seeing her muzzle lacerated from cheek to cheek exposing her teeth, most of her face covered in bruises and lesion, her torso swathed in gashes displaying internal organs. All of her wounds are cauterized to stop the bleeding except for two slits on her chest.

I slide my claw under her head and bring her closer to me. She looks at me with tired and bleeding eyes, one of them closed as she made a choking sound trying to speak, but only her weak vowels uttered. I look at the door not knowing what to do.

“Fluttershy!” I scream then break into tears gazing upon Rarity as her one eye rolls back, exposing the white and she starts to choke on her own blood. I lay her head back down and her one hoof reaches and flails at her throat.

I tilt her head back and cover her nostrils then place my mouth over hers feeling my lips against her teeth. I wrap a claw around her muzzle trying to create a pathway for the air. I breathe some into her, but feel a spray of warm liquid cover my side.

I cock my head back gaping at the substance seeing dark red blood flowing out of the two slits from Rarity’s chest and notice that I’m covered by her blood as well. I lift Rarity’s head to bring her to me.

“No, NO, NO! Rarity, stay with me! Stay with me!” I cry. Her head rolls and the choking stops. I can’t hear my yelling. Only see my tears trickle down on Rarity’s face.

I wish I didn’t wake up this morning...I want to come out of this hellish reality back to the library seeing Peewee restarting the day wishing for an alternate conclusion.

I look back at the door seeing Fluttershy standing in the threshold aghast, the sides of her mouth forming into one of absolute horror and she leans on a side of the door way falling to the floor dismayed as she vomits onto the wooden floor.

I closed my eyes and gritted my fangs in outrage, knowing for a fact that wishing didn’t do shit.