You're not Rainbow Dash

by Boxed Rainbows

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Main 6, Other, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 8142

His first year in college he is met with a Pegasister/Brony who thinks she's Rainbow Dash. With her friends as the rest of the Mane6. Bad part is, He has a Dorm Room right next to her.

Follow Timmothy into his first year at College looking for a Major in Biology. Seems like an alright plan, right? Just study, get good grades, and make a few friends along the way. Barely the first day of College he is met with a Pegasister/Brony (Whichever you prefer). This would normally be fine , but she seems to think she is Rainbow Dash. While her friends think they're the rest of the Mane 6. Now Timmothy can't wait for the year to end. He really thought he was going to enjoy college.

Equestria Girls Fanfic.

Things I must apologize for.

-My terrible grammar
I have no proof reader or anything
-My low knowledge of actual college life

Published 2013-06-25 17:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-31 04:52:32 UTC

1. You can't be serious

You're not Rainbow Dash

I blew a few strands of stray hair from my face as I exited my parents vehicle. Having a bunch of brown lines impair my vision wasn't exactly the smartest idea considering how Gas-pedal happy my parents were. To tell the truth, I'm pretty sure they only drove me out here to get rid of me faster.

I took my bag from the back of the car which contained the wants, and then I retrieved my luggage from the trunk containing the needs. I looked at my parents waiting for some sort of goodbye, you know maybe a "good luck", or a "We love you son." And was promptly rewarded with them speeding off so fast, Vin Diesel would have said, "Meh"

"Well isn't that great?" I asked myself while clapping my hands together. I mean I'm used to seeing little to no emotion from my parents. Of course I know they loved me, but couldn't they just say something, Or do something, you know, ANYTHING AT ALL?

"Hey!" A familiar voice called out from behind me. As I turned to look… I saw what I predicted to be undoubtable proof of the Apocalypse. Collin, had a hot girl draped over him.

'How in the mother of gods lost name did COLLIN get a hot girlfriend over the summer?!?!?!' Okay, let me illiterate, Collin IS a nice guy, but he was just a bit on the unlucky side with girls. (As in the ruler of hos own landlocked country)

"Dude…Hello?" Collin said while casually waving his left hand back and forth in front of my face.

"Hmm...? Oh yeah, I spaced out for a bit, sorry…It's been awhile" I said scratching the back of my head in embarrassment.

"So who's that?" I asked quickly looking towards his Rainbow Haired companion.

"Oh that's just my sis-"

"I'm Rainbow Dash!" she shouted while simultaneously jumping, AND interrupting Collin.

Collin quickly threw his right hand out and silenced "Rainbow Dash", and used the other to massage his temple. And I'm fairly certain I saw a bulging vein on his forehead...

"As I was SAYING," he emphasized the last word while glaring at her direction ever so slightly, "She's my sister, she's just going through some sort of phase or something, I don't know it started all with some kids show." Suddenly, his face grew deathly serious. "But you want to know the WORST part," he uttered, slightly above a whisper, "Is that she got her FRIENDS ON IT TO!" Exclaiming very loudly. Well, loud compared to how he was just talking.

"Wait wait wait hold up, Why have I never talked to your sister.…Or Seen her, Or even knew that she existed before?" I asked him confused as to how and why he would and or could hide her existence from me?

"Because you've never been to my house before..." Collin answered, giving me that "Really?" look. Well, it was true. Though we were good friends, I've never been to his house. He always would rather come to my house and if I were to ask about his, he would quickly change the subject usually by challenging me to Xbox, which usually ended with huge rage quit fight.

"So what exactly is she doing here now?" I asked more than likely starting a game of 20 questions.

"Our parents thought it would be better if we went to the same college, something about being near family. I dunno." Collin said removing his from " Rainbow Dash's " mouth.

"So she's in our grade?! Why have I never seen her at school?" I questioned Collin thinking of this as a Cover-Up story for their relationship… or perhaps he's using her for a cover of...Mother of god…

"Different schools." He said, again donning his trademarked "Really?" face.

"THAN WHY NOT DIFFERENT COLLEGES?" I asked barely noticed by people passing by jump three feet(figure out the metric system yourselves) to the right.

"Your Family's.... Your family is weird." I said quieting down to a normal level. I just then realized that since her mouth was blocked by Collin, that she hadn't said anything else. I noted the very fast typing she was doing seemingly in her pockets.

'Great a Text-Everywhere" person...'

"Tell me about it," Collin simply sighed while looking at a sheet of paper. Oh yeah that reminded me, I wonder what dorm room he was in. I didn't even know mine.

"Which dorm you in?" I asked getting out my own sheet.

"Room 609, Building C. You?" He replied calmly while putting his sheet back in the pockets of his bag. Finding the sheet I see that- OH HEL-I MEAN-HECK YEAH WE GOT THE SAME DORM ROOM... 'I mean oh hey, I got a dorm with someone I know. yay...

"Hey I got the same room." I say folding my sheet and putting it in my hoodie pocket.

"FUC-" He stopped getting a few glances from people passing by before they returned to there business.

" I mean, yeah, that's really cool dude, but my parents sent a request asking that my sister and I get a dorm near each other, so she'll be in the next room...." he said a little bit embarrassed. She looked away from her phone just for a second to give him an evil glance.

"That's fine as long as she doesn't constantly annoy both of us," I said with a shrug.

"Hey let's look for our room." I said looking towards the ridiculously grass covered campus of Green University.(Go figure)

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER

"Is this it?" I asked looking at the room that says 609. The 0 looked as though it had been recently super glued. I wonder why.…

"Hey um dude......" Collin said a bit nervously while tapping my shoulders.

"Yeah?" I say tilting my head in confusion at the sudden nervousization...That's a word now.

"Turns out I made a SLIGHT mistake and was reading my sisters paper..." He said face palming.

"SHI-" was said in unison by myself and the apparent 'Rainbow Dash ' but was quickly censored by an 8-bit MY Little Pony ringtone. How I know that? Well, you try browsing through YouTube without finding at least one thing about MLP.

"Oh hey, It's Twilight!" she said quickly returning to her phone. Wow, she is easily distracted by that thing.

"Dude, You can't be serious can you, Can you, are you punking me?" Collin firmly shook his head side to side. "No, no, It has to be a mistake." I panicked, not wanting to be stuck with THE UNKOWN.(Trademark Pokémon 2002).

"It's fine, it's fine." He said while gesturing his hands. "Her name is Sarah, say it if she gets too out of hand and NEVER. EVER. GET INVOLVED WITH HER AND HER FRIENDS." Collin firmly said with all seriousness.

"Okay, we'll see. Cya in a few?" I asked while unlocking the door, barely keeping my voice in the same octave. He nodded in reply and unlocked the door to his own room and walked in.

"Hey, You coming?" I partially shouted towards Sarah while holding the door. She just waltzed right in with phone in one hand and an oversized luggage in the other.

I threw my stuff to the side and belly flopped onto one of the beds. While Sarah/"Rainbow Dash", put her phone down for a second to examine her surroundings, and put her luggage near the wall, and then promptly jumped on the bed right next to me.

"What are you doing?" I asked completely confused and the slightest bit red-in-the-face.

"This one looks more comfy, you can have the other one." She before shoving me off the side of the bed.

"You motherfu-"

"OH C'MON YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Collin cuts me off screaming like me after a game of Call of Duty.

Author's Note

For those of you that don't know the difference between a want and a need. A want is something that isn't required to live, like video games or toys. A need is something required to live, like clothing, food, and shelter. Seeing that you can't fit a house in any luggage. His needs are clothing and lots of Noodles.

Here are a few things I want to get out:

Sorry for the bad grammar.
No romance is intended in the future.
Sarah is not crazy.

Edited/Proofread by CPA87

2. Foood

"What in the heck was that?" I said looking towards the door.

"Collin got roomed with Twilight." Sarah said not even batting an eyelash while laying on the bed mashing her thumbs against her phone like a lunatic....or an average American...

"How do you know that?" I asked turning to look back at Sarah... Who was now somehow standing right next me....

"Twilight texted me." She said while she thrusted it at and promptly smashed my nose.

"OW Shi- Oh hey it's true" I said rubbing my now throbbing nose.

"I'm gonna to go check on him... justincase." I slurred the last words hurriedly while walking to the door, looking for any excuse to leave the room....What? Don't judge me.....

As I was finally in arms reach of the doorknob, Three things happened. First, the universe put out a Hit on my nose because the door came alive and pimp slapped the shit out of me. Second, I was thrown to the ground twitching. Lastlly a purple haired girl ran In, paused to step over me, and then continued on in. And the rest is a little bit fuzzy seeing as how at the moment I was as impaired as Charlie sheen is intoxicated on an average Tuesday, but I vaguely remember Sarah suddenly flying at the, what I'm assuming and hoping for her parents sake, purple haired Cosplay girl.

"Twilight!" Rainbow screamed while she slowly released the girl.

"So you're roomed with my drag of a brother?" She asked with a smug face, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, but I don't mind-"

"I'm not a FAG!" Collin cut 'Twilight' off as he walked into the room.

"I said drag," Rainbow said putting her phone into her pocket.

"Well, to be fair..." I cut in, actually eliciting a laugh from both of girls...is that how you use elicit?

"SHUT THE FU-"

"U MAD?" I taunted back before he could even finish , same as always. I mean that's how it always goes, in our friendship I'm the annoying cool guy and he's the one with three flat screens, a Billiards table, AND a pool. A fair trade off if you ask me.

"Ugh- Whatever.... but what sick twisted Non-specific Religous deity forced me to be roomed with her?!" Collin said in just a few tones below a shout while pointing at Twilight.

"Hey she's not that bad of a person!"

"That bad?..." But Twilight's argument was interrupted by what now equated into a gibberish shouting contest between Collin and Sarah, oh excuse me, "Rainbow".

SEVERAL MINUTES LATER

At this point it was literally so incoherent the only way to even begin to understand them would to probably have a masters degree in Psychology, or to be a mind-reader...Or just plain be siblings, which is precisely why they were able to keep this up.

"UGH, SHUT THE FU-" Rainbow shouted while trying to flip the bird at Collin, but before Sarah could pull out the middle finger could stand tall she was interrupted by my stomach gurgling. Everyone immediately faced me with the Are you Serious face at attention, but were also suddenly interrupted by their stomaches growling.

"HA!" I called out triumphantly

"We'll finish this after we eat!" Collin and Sarah shouted simultaneously at each other. They paused for a second, then both sprinted out the still open door.

"Shotgun!" They yelled in unison while running out of the room. A loud "DAMMIT!" Followed quickly.

"I guess it runs in the family.... " I said to no one in particular. However what I was met next with was unexpected, the purple haired girl actually laughed, well...actually more like let one out then slapped her palm against her mouth, silencing herself.

I turned to face her, and was promptly met with an Glare Colder than Rush Limbaugh's.... I'm actually not even gonna finish that one.

"Uh...Ladies first?" I said while awkwardly motioning towards the door. She only let out an annoyed sigh as she walked out of the room.

"Wow, bit-." I said as I walked out of the room, or at least would have had the door not slammed in face before i could finish talking.

"DAMMIT!" I cursed loudly before throwing open the door and went to catch everyone else. Collin and Rainbow were waiting down by the car while Twilight was halfway there.

"WAIT UP!" I called out to her. She turned to look at me...and then sped up.

Wow, Friggin biiiiiiiiiiitc-

"HURRY UP!" Collin yelled down the hall, cutting off my train of thought.

HALF AN HOUR LATER AT SOME UNDISCLOSED RESTAURANT TO PREVENT COPYRIGHT

"Did we really have to go here?" Rainbow asked while face palming.

"What? There's nothing wrong with ~~Cheeseburger Prince~~." I said walking into the empty restaurant.

"Meh" Twilight shrugged her shoulders while walking into the restaurant. I held the door for everyone, much to their indifference, and then began to walk towards the cashier already knowing what I wanted to eat.

"WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO EAT?" The Cashier screamed at me in a not exactly angry biker that you just hit with your tone, but still someone you'd probably cross the street when you saw tone.... Oh wait, I get what he wants me to do now...

"I WANT A FLOPPER WITH MED SIZED FRIES AND A MED COKE." I screamed in about the same tone.

"Wow, what the crap is wrong with you?" The cashier asked with a smile.

"And would you like ketchup on your Flopper?" He asked putting in my order.

"Yes please" I said going back to pick a spot to sit in the restaurant. Here? I mentally asked myself before examining the table. To which I found ketchup smeared all over the back.

"No" I sighed. Here? I mentally asked before checking once more.

I glanced at the table, the seat, and the back. Eh everything seems fine here and OH MY BLACK JEEBUS WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT? Oh, sitting here seems alright. I almost instantaneously forgot about the sin against nature itself under the table and went to the empty, CLEAN booth. I waited a couple minutes as the other 3 got there orders.

Collin was the first to come as he sat in the seat opposite of me. "Dude you forgot your order up there." Collin said nomming on a single fry. "Really?" I asked an amount of sarcasm so dense, Simon from American Idol would have said...well... nothing good.

Collin raised his eyebrow in response. "Really? You seriously didn't hear my shouting match with cashier?"

"No Dipthong, your orders ACTUALLY READY!" He over exaggerated the last deliberately.

God dangit, I really didn't want to get up and go get it.

"Here you go idiot." Rainbow said tossing a tray right infront of me on the table. "Oh hey thank- WHERE ARE MY FRIES!" I turned back to look at Rainbow as she has a mouthful of fries.

"Oh you bit-"

"Animals!" Twilight said being the last one to the table with a Salad. Really? A salad? She is giving up something so amazingly glorious like meat, for a SALAD. Only because, she wants to act like a character from a show...

And then Realization bitch slapped me upside the face, and opposed to the universe's pimp slap to the nose Wait, for the love of God and Black Jesus, Please don't tell me... Rainbow, also has a salad sitting on her tray. ...ARE THEY REALLY TAKING IT THIS FAR?! Why would they do this?!?!?!

"Oh c'mon, are you seriously thinking of taking the pony thing this far?" I asked removing my food from my bag. "What's next, walking around on all fours buck-naked...actually on second thought-" And before finishing my joke, I interrupted by a quick elbow to the stomach.

Now, the elbow didn't hurt, but I figured I should make another joke, considering I was interrupted by a certain SOMEONE!

"Cooollliiiiinnnn, She hit me!" I said in a whiny voice while rubbing my stomach overexageratingly...that's a word now.

"You act like it hurt" Collin half said, half chuckled out as he put down his Flopper Jr. To which I in turn, picked up mine and began to eat.

"She doesn't hit very hard and it affects her self esteem" Collin said while putting on a Mock-Doctor Phil-like voice.

"I CAN MAKE IT HURT!" Rainbow yelled eyeing him.

"That's what he sai-" And that's as far as Collin got, seeing as how Sarah lunged across the table at him.

They engaged in an epic battle, ruining My Food, their food, The Table, tons of innocent fries, and it only ended with both of them panting on the floor next to the table.

Myself and Twilight both stared wide-eyed at the scene next to us. Well, more accurately she was eyed, and I was two seconds away from having a mental breakdown at the sigh of my ruined, half eaten burger. About a second later she snapped out of it and once again, began to munch on her salad.

At the sound of crunching of crunching vegetables, I snapped out of my daze. And figured it was finally time, to ask what had been bugging me since about five minutes prior.

"Why'd you give up meat?" I asked turning to face her.

She her left eyebrow at me, swallowed, and then quickly, responded.

"Because animals are Ponies to!"

Did she just say Pon-!..... Let it go, deep breaths, deep breaths...

She raised her eyebrow once again. And then I responded.

"Fruits and Vegetables are...PONIES too."

She immediately shot me the Seriously? Face.

"No there not."

"Yes they are."

"No there not!"

"Yes they are! And I can prove it!" I declared at her.

"Really now," she said while nodding slightly, before overexageratingly(WORD NOW!) jamming her fork into the pile of vegetables, and the slowly brought the fork to her mouth.

"Prove it." She stated before wrapping her lips around the base of fork right below the teeth, and Slowly pulled her head away, making sure to take all of the food with her, chewed very slowly, and then swallowed, slowly. I knew right then that she was trying to spite me but...

Hummana hummana hummana boner!.... I thought, and then shook my head desperately trying to unthink.

"No?" She asked with a slight smirk, before once again mostly-spiteful-but-kind-of-erotic at her salad.

I stooped shaking my head instantly and met her gaze, with a very, VERY, serious expression.

"Annoying Orange." I announced a moment of silence...She nearly choked at the response.

She coughed twice, before simultaneously clearing her throat, AND stabbing her fork into the salad AGAIN!

"Ha! That's an Internet show!" She replied triumphantly while taking another bite.

"And in Ponyland the Internet doesn't exist, so you don't know that!" I laughed while putting on my sunglasses. She glared at me, then put her fork on the table.

"I think we're done here..." She wiped her mouth, got out of the booth, and nearly sprinted to the car. I sighed before looking down to the panting Sarah, and the silently sobbing Collin laying on opposite sides of the table.

"Yeah, I think so to" I chuckled before stepping over the two siblings and exiting the burger-joint.

'NOTHER HALF AN HOUR LATER

"I still can't believe you ate my fries." I said while trying my hardest to organize my luggage into a dresser. Which really just amounted to CLEAN STUFF GO IN, DIRTY STUFF ON GROUND!

"Think of it as payment for me bringing you your food." She replied in a rather happy tone while once again, pulling out her PHONE.

"Ugh whatever, It's going to go straight to your thighs Sarah." I said while jumping on my own bed taking out my iPod Touch....What? I'm not a hypocrite, It's an iPod, there's a difference.

She responded by throwing a pillow at me. To which I responded by casting an Icy Glare to intimidate her.....It Failed!

"My name is Rainbow Dash, and besides. I know even if it's true you won't stop looking." Rainbow said while bending over to get into bed, or so I thought until she turned her head and locked eyes with me, smiling like the joker on an average....I've use that to much haven't I? My cheeks turned a nice shade of red in response.

"Sshh, sorry not into Bestiality Rainbow Dash". I finished , over exaggerating her name.

"Whatever...." She partially scolded, partially chuckled at. And what came next you ask? Well I firmly believe at that moment I entered the Twilight Zone...the TV show, not the Mental chick next door. But anyway, yeah, We had.....A pleasant conversation. Crazy and Unexpected right?

The conversation didn't really stay fixated, we kinda just drifted from topic to topic. It was actually kinda nice, until I did something that all of MAN-kind is famous for.

I Dun Goofed.

"So how come Collin never mentioned you before?" I asked pausing my game of Fruit Ninja. It was really getting annoying trying to beat my highscore, AND focusing on the conversation at hand... What? Don't judge me, I'll summon a hundred clones of myself and then blast you with a twenty story high lightning dragon...I'm a ninja!

"I dunno know, I guess he just wasn't very fond of me... The only time he could stand to be in the same room as me was during the holidays." She said placing her phone under the pillow and turning away from me. Any hint of happiness or joy that she might have had instantly vanished.

"I'm sorry." I said putting my phone down for a second to look at her, but when I turned I saw that she already thoroughly cocooned within her comforter.

"Goodnight." I said, barely above a whisper.

"Night." She sighed and turned off the lamp next to her bed.

ONE 70's TRANSITION LATER

I yawned, while opening my eyes....to be greeted with darkness.

Agh, what time is it? I checked my phone to see it was 3:17 A.M.

Damn classes start tomorrow. Brain why you gotta wake me up? I asked my conscious.

Well I was up here eatin' a meatball sub when I heard that. My brain responded, in what sounded like the most forced, most stereotypical Brooklyn accent. Ever.

While contemplating my subconscious's possible racism, I heard quiet sobs on the other side of the room.

SHEE-YAT brain, I ain't got no time for 'dat. And then I went back to sleep.

And Now what actually happened.

I released a huge yawn as I sat up in bed to make sure I don't fall unconscious. It's 3:17 In the Morning....Brain why do you do this to me?

CAUSE I CAAANN! My brain responded back at me.... Putting my slight insanity risk aside I decided to survey my surroundings....

Darkness.... Your really working overtime, aren't ya brain? I took my phone out and tapped on the Flash Light app. My surroundings lit up as I saw that absolutely nothing had changed, besides the fact that Rainbow is missing, Her bed is made and all her stuff is still here...wait, where'd she go?

I stood up and walked over to her bed and checked it inside out.

Nothing, Nothing, Nothing, Nothi-Wait, what's this? I though while actually finding something on the opposite side of her pillow. It wasn't her phone, Like I had hoped, But there was a sticky note. I opened it, and read aloud.

"I knew you couldn't stay away from me, Perv. Anyways I'll be at the track running if you need me. And try not to sniff my dirty shorts."

"....Oh you're in for it now...." I said as I walked over to my backpack with the note in hand. Quickly i pulled out a pen and began to laugh hysterically as I drew inappropriate pictures all over the note, and then placed it back under her pillow.

Yeah!That'll show her!.....I need help.....

Author's Note

Proofread by the handsome devil. CPA87

3. First Day

I checked my schedule one last time before I folded it, and then tucked it back into my pocket. This... was not going to be a fun day for me.

I left the room and looked to my right to see Collin also leaving his room.

"Yo Colly Derpins, going to class?" I asked already know his answer.

"No I'm going to go to the roof and jump off Mr. Faggomatic." He said as sarcastically as possible.

"Alright, And would you be offended If I recorded said jumping?" I smiled as I pulled out my phone and shoved it in his face.

"Oh Shut up, What's your first class anyways?" Collin asked taking out his schedule, and glancing at it before his gaze returned to me.

"I have some math class in Room 3001 Building C, and what you got?" I asked looking at Collin.

"GOD DAMNI-, I mean Oh Heck yeah we have the same class together alright!" Collin said in possibly the most drowned out, fake, and overly sad tone.

"Okay? I guess we should get going then....asshole...." I said as I started to walk in a random direction, with Collin following seconds later.

"Do you even know where you're going?" Collin asked while eyeing the surrounding area suspiciously. Before following me out the door.

"Nope...ONWARDS HO!!!" I bravely said as I over dramatically threw open the door, and ventured out onto the campus. Green University really holds up it's name with all the grass, trees, and... Whatever that brown blob is...

...

"Well should we ask for directions, or ya'know, maybe look for a map?" Collin Deadpanned still very weary of the surrounding campus, To which I face palmed.

"Collin, shut'cha face up and follow me." I ordered the sad sack of a soul behind me.

20 minutes later

"See I told you that I could find it, and still 5 minutes before class begins, that's a victory in my book." I said enthusiastically while walking into class.

"You asked for directions at least 5 times and that one guy gave you directions to the girls bathrooms." Collin said clearly not amused as he followed me into the classroom.

"Shhhhhhh" I said hushing Collin. "I never did any of that, and that guy was a fag anyway, I mean did you see those sunglasses?" I stated patting Collin on the head. "

"Sunglasses? I think you meant Douche instead of Fag, get your insults straight dumbass." Collin stated while swatting my hand away.

"Well anywa-Oh holly cow let's go sit next to that hot girl over there!" I almost screeched into Collin's ear as I tried to drag to the Who I Presumed/hoped, was a hot girl....What? I only caught a glimpse

"AGH, Warn me when you're going to do that nex-!" Collin angrily spat, or at least tried to, but fell deathly silent staring at the chick's direction. I turned to look as well, you know...to get a good look at her instead of playing the guessing game. Yeah that works.....

After about two minutes of standing still and staring, Collin and I both glanced back towards each other. Both of us having the exact same thought.

"DAAAAAAAYYYYYUUUUMMM!"

The girl, who probably overheard is, and probably noticed us staring, looked at us in a worried manner before turning away. I kept my eyes on for about a minute before I realized something... She had Purple hair. I glanced over to Collin to see that idiot hadn't noticed it yet. I slid over to him not once taking my eyes off the hopefully not a delusional-pony/chick.

"Hey um Collin, is it just me, or does she have purple hair? And if so, is she... One of them?" I whispered into Collins ear. Any trace of happiness or joy left his face immediately, replaced by a Facepalm.

"You know, now that you mentioned it she does kind of look familiar, But I can't remember which one it was-"

"Heya Rarity! Heya Faggots!" Rainbow cheered across the room not even realizing she cut Collin off. She walked over to us and gave us a dirty smirk before taking a seat next to 'Rarity'.

"What is up with your family and using "Fag" at every little thing?" I asked, a LITTLE bit irritated that Hottest chick I've seen in a while is...one of them....

Rainbow in response stuck out her tongue out at me, before going to converse with this "Rarity", who unlike her companion. Completely ignored me. Though five seconds ago I was staring at her like a hungry Lion stares at a slab of meat....

Trying to Eavesdrop, I picked up on some idle chit chat between the two girls catching up. But it all sounded like girl talk and even though it was in english, I couldn't understand a single sentence.

Oh god how could this day get worse?

And the universe decided to take another toll on me and bitch slapped me like I was a bottom-bitch who just spent three fifty on a manicure without his permission. (HA, Pimp AND abuse joke? I'm getting ALL kinds of offensive now!)

"Welcome to my class!" A Middle aged man cheered as he walked into the classroom. "I am Mr. Scultzafragger(...Some words will forever unknown to man kind....) or you can call me Mr. S." He continued. "My class is either Pass or Fail, No Extra Credit, No Test Retakes, No copying, No Cheating, and most of all No Slacking" He said smiling in a grin that would scare Death itself.

"We'll it's great to be here Mr. S!" I all but shouted in a very, VERY sarcastic tone. But somehow he didn't notice as he just nodded, and started to write some math equations on the board.

"God Damnit." I muttered as I purposefully face planted onto the desk.

And now, To Lunch!

The class passed by pretty roughly. All we supposedly had to do was "Solve this equation on the board," but it was practically written in a different language! No one, and I mean NO ONE, could figure it out! But since apparently I'm the universe's bitch, Rainbow was awarded a lollipop for getting the closest answer, which she copied off of me! I just didn't raise my hand 'cause I didn't want to.

The next 2 classes were a bit more fair containing no Rainbow, but also no Collin. But that was easily made up for by making a few new friends with some of my fellow students.

And now that leads us to the current time, lunch, and the destination? Wherever Collin is driving us. Too bad Rainbow just had to tag along, AGAIN.

*POKE* "Stop it."

*POKE* "Stop. It."

*POKE* "Stop It!"

.............*POKE!*

"DAMMIT RAINBOW, QUIT POKING ME." I yelled in frustration as quiet giggles came from the backseat of the car.

"Collin did we have to bring her?" I asked the driver who just shrugged and gave me the classic Not my problem face.

"Quit being a Collin and have a little fun once in a while." Rainbow giggled again while continuously poking me. Fortunately at the mention of his name, it suddenly became Collins problem.

"HEY I CAN HAVE FUN WHEN I WANT TOO!" Collin said focusing on Rainbow Dash, and not the road.

"Uhh Collin I think you need to focu-"

"Pssshhh, No you can't" Rainbow said cutting me off.

"ILL SHOW YOU FUN." Collin said lunging back at Rainbow who instinctively slapped his hand away, and quickly gripped him around the neck, causing Collin to Swerve on the road a little.

This went on for about a minute before we got pulled over... But not a by a Policeman, no, but by a Soccer Mom.

"I should report you youngsters for driving like that, but I have to drive my kids, who you nearly hit by the way, to soccer practice. So I'm just gonna give you fellers a warning this time." She said mostly focusing on Collin. She gave us one last look before getting into her Minivan and starting it up. "HEY KIDS WHATS THAT!" She screamed and pointed at the opposite direction of us. Instantly, all the kids faces snapped to the direction she had pointed at. And with all the kids attention unfocused, the mom quickly leaned out the window, and flipped us the bird before driving off.

"Wow, What a Bit-"

"Collin shut up." I said cutting him off, pinching my nose in frustration. "You were driving pretty awful. I mean we got flipped off by a Grandpa, a Grandma, and now a Soccer Mom Because of your driving! Now be happy she some how managed to pull us over at our destination." I said finally looking up since we got pulled over.

Collin raised his finger but quickly sighed in defeat, to where Rainbow Dash started to laugh like hyena before I quickly cut her off.

"And you missy, Missed out on a Pretty important Pre-School Lesson. Keep your hands to yourself, and don't fuck with person driving the 90 M.P.H metal death machine!." I said turning away from them and starting to walking towards the restaurant.

Rainbow also let out a long sigh in defeat as they followed me inside. We all walked into the restaurant, which turned out to be just simple Sub-Pay... Crap, I was always a Bizno's man myself...

I decided right then and there that It was going to be a nice lunch. That I would finally get them to stop fighting for ten minutes and-

"Rainbow Dash?" A voice called out from behind us...

"Pinkie?" Rainbow responded almost instantly...

"Oh god ! How many of them are there?" I asked Collin as the 2 girls rejoiced over meeting each other.

"6, counting my sister. But that's as far as I know of." Collin said releasing a huge sigh as he went up and ordered his food, leaving me alone, with my left eye twitching like crazy.

20 minutes later

"Collin I'm still hungrrrryyyyy." Rainbow whined in the backseat of the car as we drove back to the campus.

"Well maybe if you actually ordered something instead of talking to 'Pinkie' the entire time, this wouldn't of happened." Collin said in an annoyed tone as he pulled into the student parking lot.

"But-"

"No Buts! Go buy something from one of the vending machines if you're still hungry" Collin angrily said as he slammed the car door loudly and stomped away.

"But I don't have money!" Rainbow continued to whine as she turned towards me. ......God dangit. I reached into my pocket and gave her the change I had leftover from Sub-Pay.

"Thank you!" She said in appreciation as she sprinted off to find the nearest vending machine.

I simply shrugged, and proceeded walk off to find my last class of the day.

5 minutes later

I walked into the classroom and found that all the seats were filled except for one... And that one happened to be right next to Twilight.

I walked over, and hesitated a big before I finally pulled out the chair and sat down.

"How in the world did you get into a class this advanced?" Twilight asked shocked and semi-annoyed as she looked over at me.

"This is an advanced class?" I asked Twilight, slightly confused. "This is just a slight review plus a little extra from what I already know, I thought this was going to be an easy class." I shrugged as I faced the teacher who was writing something on the board.

"What are you? A master of Science?" Twilight questioned even more shocked.

"Well Science is one of my favorite subjects" I said as I wrote down the notes the teacher was writing. Twilight in response, face planted straight onto the desk.

...

I sat in my room pondering what to do next. The class passed pretty quick, since it was basically just copying the notes on the board.

Twilight had to take my notes when the class was done, Since she spent most of the time wondering how I got into that class.

Rainbow wasn't here meaning she was still in class, or catching up with the other girls. Quickly, I thanked the universe for finally giving me a break as I laid my head down to take a nap.

God my pillow is just so comfortable I could fall asleep on it right now-

*Gurgle Gurgle*

DAMMIT I FORGOT DINNER! Huh, I guess It's all fine, after all I'll buy something with my change from Sub-pay...that I gave to Rainbow....

Quickly I fell to me knee's, and raised my arms high above my head.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!" I screeched at the-pimp-called-the universe

Author's Note

Proofread by CPA87 who is still a handsome devil.

I feel as though I really started to rush towards the end though....

4. Week ENDS

The first week of school just ended, and it was just... absolutely horrid.ESPECIALLY because Sarah- oh wait, "Rainbow" made it exceptionally hard to focus in math class. Or any other class for that matter, mostly because she finds it to be just the absolute funniest thing in the universe to bother me.

Every.

Single.

Ticking second she's anywhere near my proximity. For example, let's relive the travesty that was yesterday, specifically, math class, just in case you couldn't guess.

...

"Psssssttt... pppsssssssttttt......Faaaggggottt..." Rainbow slowly whispered into my ear, which were quickly followed by giggles by her and Rarity.

"Yes, Rainbow?" I asked as politely as possible. Despite being annoyed of the constant antics of Rainbow and the other bit-girls....

"Why are you such a fag?" Rainbow giggled into my earhich led to the giggles getting even louder, some other female students even joining in on the laughter.

"I don't know, why don't you ask Collin? Since apparently it run in the family...." I asked as my patience slowly strangled itself to death

"Because he isn't here." Rainbow said obviously mocking the tone of some five-year-old beauty queen that she probably saw off of ABC Family. ..

"Well, why Collin is missing then?" I asked Rainbow who was more than likely going to respond with-

"'Cause he's a fag." '

Yep, right on cue!

Seriously, she must of thought that was the absolute funniest phrase ever uttered by human-kind. Because with the way she was laughing, I'm pretty sure she ruptured a kidney or two...

"Well no Rainbow. You see, Collin is trying to get his classes changed right now, Specifically this one. But, that dumbass is probably going to fail since it's already to late. His reason to change? Well, I'm FAIRLY CERTAIN you can guess." I barely managed to get out without absolutely releasing all of my, UNGODLY HELLFIRE-AND-BRIMESTONE LINED, APOCALYPSE INDUCING FURY!!!

"Well since you drove Collin away, I'll just mess around with you then." She said once again poking me.

*Poke* "Rainbow don't do this again."

*Poke* "Rainbow...."

*Poke poke poke poke super poke*

"GOD DANGIT RAINBOW WOULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE" I screeched with enough volume to deafen a banchi. No doubt gaining the absolute, undivided attention of every single living being in the classroom.

"Mr. Timothy." Mr. S called my name from the front of the room.

"Um, Yes, Mr. S?" I asked, hoping for the best.

"See me after class about your yelling problem." Mr. S finished before returning to his lectures.

"Pffffft, Your name is Timothy?" Rainbow asked before bursting out into laughter along with Rarity and a few other girls.

"Fuck you." I responded before planting my face on the desk.

...

And that concludes our little anecdote for today! See ya next time, I'd open the door for you... If as of right now I wasn't locked outside of my dorm.

So Apparently, Rainbow is currently using it to Catch up with the girls, and they couldn't use Twilights room because Collin was getting his beauty sleep... And I'm not going in his room, because trust me, he needs it.
Rarity apparently has an annoying roommate and Pinkie Pie's roommate is an Alligator.... Who also needs his beauty sleep....

How the fuck do you get an alligator as your roommate? I thought grumpily.

I had been sitting out there for at least a good hour and a half. And from all the bits and pieces I could hear, they showed no visible sign of stopping. To stay sane I had been thinking of, or at least trying to think of any situation better than what I was in at the moment.

Why have I thinking to myself so much recently? College has changed me WAY too much....Before this, all I used to think about is how come I lagged so much when playing COD, but now it's all about life, and not when there's coming out either...

Hey maybe I can write a story about this. Title it, 'The Adventures of Crazy Girl'. It'll be about a girl who thinks she is a character from a fictional children's show, and THEN SHE GETS HER FRIENDS ON IT TO! Oh, and She goes to a University called Blue University that's full of ponds....and Blue Jays?

She's roomed with a guy named Tim...Tim? Who she won't stop bothering, and is practically trying to ruin his life! On the first day of school when she first meets Tim, (who is absolutely the most handsome guy you could ever possibly hope to meet but the way, but his friend Rollin, is an absolute douche with nothing better to do but whine all the time.) And-

...

-They All lived happily ever after. The End

Oh my god I need to get my Laptop and start writing this down. Yeah, and also put out my IPod for some nice tunes...

I fumble around both of my pockets, and then my bag before I realize I left both of the devices back on my side of the room....

I stood up and stretched a little before releasing a nice, long yawn. Then, with a shit-ton of reluctance mind you, I finally knocked on the door.

"What do you want?" Rainbow answered from the other-side of the slightly opened door in a REALLY annoyed tone.

"May I go get my IPod and or Laptop?" I asked politely, not wanting to disturb the 80's haired beasts in the immediate vicinity. They are... pretty damn scary when they work together.

"No." Rainbow Harshly said before slamming the door on my nose.

I fell to the floor almost instantly,holding my rapidly abused nose. Well nothing better to do right now besides lie on the ground,crying over my poor nose.... Oh my god I've turned into Collin.... and then for some reason I passed out...

...

"Hey, faggot get up." I heard a familiar voice say, followed by a sharp jab at my side. "You can come in now." The voice continued before I felt something small plop down on my stomach.

"Ugh,What time is it?" I said while releasing a long groan, while at the same time patting stomach to find the foreign object that landed on my stomach.

"2:39 A.M. Now come on in before I slam the door and you have to sleep here the entire night." Rainbow harshly said while kicking my side.

I foud the foreign object on my stomach and picked up... It's my IPod... And to make a short of long story Short I jumped and quickly danced like an idiot at the joy of having it back.

"Oh by the way, you might find some things to be different than last time you had it." Rainbow said with a smug tone before walking into the room.

I followed in shortly, completely forgetting to close the door as all my attention was focused upon the little device in my hand. So after about two minutes of eyeing the probably Chinese developed device in my hand as if it were a nuclear bomb counting down.... I gave up after two minutes....

"What did you honestly talk about that it took until 2:39 in the morning to finally be done?" I stated placing the nuclear bomb right next to my pillow.

"Nothing, they left at around 12:00. I've just been messing around with your IPod and then I remembered you were out there." she said as if it were no big deal.

"Okay, How the fuck do you forget about someone when A. They live here, And B. Your messing with their stuff?!?! And on that note what the hell did you exactly do with my IPod?!?!" I seethed out, actually hoping she did turn it into a bomb, if only to place it under her pillow tonight....

"Oh, I don't know...Turn it on and find out." She said before tucking herself in and turning the opposite direction of me.
And you know what, I did exactly what the Rainbow Haired girl told me to do and turned on my IPod.

What the hell did she do to my IPod- OH GOD MY BACKGROUND. My perfectly normal background of Naked- I mean tree's has been changed to the My Little Pony Logo.

Oh great I wonder if she touched anything else. I sure enough found out when I opened my music app to find that all of my music, had also been changed to songs from My Little Pony....In fact she deleted everything that wasn't Pony related and then either changed it to something pony related. Or just filled in the empty memory with completely different, but just as much pony related.

Oh thank The Lord she didn't delete my texting app. Good I needed that. Wait.... One message from my ex? But we haven't messaged each other since we broke up.....fuck.... I opened the message log to see something beyond awful. Don't ask why I still had her number either. I totally didn't give it away on Craigslist under 'Women seeking Men'..... I didn't!

Me: Hey, I'm sorry... for What I did before :/
Ex: Oh so now you say sorry!? >:(
You: I didn't mean to hurt you, Collin said you were cheating on me.
Ex: Collin? You actually listen to him?
Me: I know, I'm Sorry. Collin and I aren't friends anymore.
Ex: Still. Why should I forgive you?
Ex: Do you know how badly I felt when you broke up with me?
Ex: I missed you so much
Me: I know, That's why I want to make it up to you
Me: Could you please give me one more chance. I want you to stop by my University tomorrow.
Me: It's at Green University 4125 Tombstone Road. I'll be waiting for you at the entrance.
Ex: You know. I Don't really know if I should forgive you.
Me: I understand

And than her most recent message.

Ex: Alright I've decided to forgive you, Ill be there tomorrow at around 3 P.M

Dammit Sarah, you are really asking for it now. I put down my IPod, but not before forgetting to tell my Ex it wasn't me who sent those messages, as at that point all I could think about was revenge.

First, I listened to make sure Rainbow Dash was asleep. The quiet snores coming from deep inside the labyrinth of blankets confirmed it form me. I grabbed my roll duct tape and walked with the grace of a Ninja to her bed, And then I slowly but surely rolled her up into a Blanket Burrito as smoothly as I could manage.
When I was done she was still sleeping soundly, so then I took the duct tape and ever so-slowly taped it around the Blanket Burrito so she would have trouble getting out....Oh who am I kidding? She won't be able to get out!
I picked her up and, she was surprisingly heavy, or maybe I'm just weak, or maybe both. But for the sake of my masculinity, I'm just gonna pretend she needs a salad.

Luckily my being an idiot payed off for once as I maneuvered the giant Rainburrito(I know, I'm groaning to) through the door I forgot to close. I slowly laid her down, then quietly shut the door before making my way to bed.

I hopped in as if I were the happiest man in the world who had just done a good deed, which was true on both occasions. And then I fell asleep.