My Little Pony: Friendship's a B%!@#

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together, and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn; the younger brought out the moon to begin the night. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects, all the different types of ponies.

But as time went on, the younger sister became resentful. The ponies relished and played in the day her elder sister brought forth, but shunned and slept through her beautiful night. One fateful day, the younger unicorn refused to lower the moon to make way for the dawn. The elder sister tried to reason with her, but the bitterness in the young one's heart had transformed her into a wicked mare of darkness: Nightmare Moon. She vowed that she would shroud the land in eternal night.

Reluctantly, the elder sister harnessed the most powerful magic known to ponydom: the Elements of Harmony. Using the magic of the Elements of Harmony, she defeated her younger sister, and banished her permanently in the moon. The elder sister took on responsibility for both...

“...sun and moon, and harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since.” Twilight Sparkle laid in the grass, reading the book she had set in front of her. The young unicorn had a long, straight mane of dark indigo colored with purple and pink streaks, her horn poking out through the middle. Both her eyes and her coat were purple, eyes taking on a slightly darker shade than the coat. Like most ponies in the world, her tail was adorned the same color scheme as her mane. The cutie mark on her flank was a large pink star encompassed by a few white stars.

A questioning expression appeared on her face. No, it wasn't because of the content. Twilight Sparkle was a mage, a pony educated by the brightest minds in Equestria; she knew better than to believe something just because she found it in a book. Every leader needs a little propaganda in order to keep their subjects in line. Not even Celestia-grade propaganda would survive her meticulous scrutiny. It would hold her attention for only a moment until a wave of questions disintegrated it. Her attention was focused on a line in the book, about the Elements of Harmony.

“Hmmmm, the Elements of Harmony,” she said to herself, taking a slight breath and holding a hoof to her chin, “I know I've heard of those before, but where?”

The pony closed her book and used her horn to cast a telekinetic spell on the book, levitating it into her book bag. She couldn't just sit there and ponder about it all day. She needed to know more. She needed a book from her personal library and she knew just which one.

She walked down the road that lead to her library. Three ponies suddenly appeared in front of her, disrupting her train of thought.

“There you are, Twilight!” called a friendly voice, much too friendly for Twilight's liking. It came from Twinkleshine, who was accompanied by Minuette and Lemon Hearts. Twinkleshine had a curly pink mane, an ivory coat, and 3 blue stars for a cutie mark. Minuette's mane was dark blue with a white streak, a coat of light blue, and an hourglass on her side. Lemon Hearts, last of the three, sported a teal mane, yellow coat, and her cutie mark consisted of 3 hearts, two of them light blue and one light green. The unicorn trio were acquaintances of Twilight's in Canterlot.

“Moondancer is having a little get-together in the west castle courtyard,” Twinkleshine informed her. “You wanna come?” she asked invitingly, moving closer to Twilight. As if practiced, Lemon and Minuette followed suit, the three unicorns eyeing her with hope.

Twilight, being a bit of a shut-in, naturally had no interest in going. However, she didn't want to disappoint them with a straight-forward refusal.

“Oh, sorry, girls!” she started, the excuse already forming in her head. “I've got a lot of studying to catch up on.”

Twilight was a terrible liar. Even the smile she forced to feign sincerity had surely given it away. Fearing that her excuse wouldn't be enough, she quickly galloped down the road before Twinkleshine could respond. The three watched as she became a figure in the distance.

Twinkleshine let out an annoyed sigh.

“I swear to Celestia!” she said, raising her voice. She turned to Lemon, who had somewhat of a bored but motherly look. “Why do I even bother with her?”

“Maybe she's just not into mares,” Lemon countered. Minuette snorted out a laugh in response. She put a foreleg around her.

“That's the same thing I said about you, and now look at you. You're one of us.”

Lemon seemed to say something, but whatever it was, it was completely muffled out when Minuette reached over to kiss her. Lemon blushed profusely, stomping violently in an attempt to get away from Minuette, only to find herself still caught up in the kiss. Soon, she found herself acting reflexively, participating instead of retreating. The two kissed with wild abandon like a couple of horny teenagers. Twinkleshine's spirits seemed to be lifted by the sight of the two. As they broke away, a line of saliva that connected their lips together had formed.

“Wow!” said Lemon excitedly, a little dazed but quickly regaining her composure. She looked into Minuette's eyes longing in her eyes.

“Minuette,” she spoke softly, “I love you very much, but if you ever do that again while we're in public?” Her voice trailed off. The three shared a hug.

Twinkleshine giggled. “See, this is why I love you girls. You're both fucking crazy.” The trio turned around and continued on their way. “You two will get us hanged someday.”

Twilight gathers her thoughts as she gallops. “I know I've heard of the Elements of Harmony,” she said to herself. She moved right past two other acquaintances, Lyra Heartstrings and Amethyst Star, without noticing them at all. Lyra waves to her as she passes, only to find that she's in too much of a hurry to notice. “Bitch!”

Twilight's home was a tall, luxurious tower, regal and beautiful, made almost entirely of tumbled marble. It was connected to a series of other towers similar, including one that seems to be an observatory. It wasn't special at all by Canterlot standards, but to say that the Canterlot-styled home wasn't a well-designed piece of architecture would have been a lie. Twilight ran up the long flight of stairs, passing shrubbery and a golden fountain she had probably never stopped to look at before.

“SPIKE!” she called out as she finally reached the top floor of her home, bursting through the door.

“Spike? Spike!” she yelled out again.

If it wasn't for his hide, Spike might've seriously been hurt. The baby dragon's body was covered completely in tough scales, light green on his belly and purple everywhere else. From the top of his head down his back and to his arrow-shaped tail, green spikes lined his body, the spikes on his head much larger than the ones on his back. His eyes were as green as his spikes.

Spike was Twilight's assistant, placed in her care from the day of his birth by Princess Celestia. Like with all things concerning Princess Celestia, Twilight suspected that this seemingly innocent gesture was a test in disguise. If there were two things Celestia would never tolerate, the first would have to be when those closest to her displayed any signs of weakness, and the second would have to be atrophy and wastefulness of one's talents. This secret test had to gauge her ability to raise a subject and ensure that they act on her behalf.

He sat on the ground, disoriented from Twilight's sudden entrance. Upon spotting him, she stopped and stared at him for a moment.

“Spike? What are you doing down on the floor?” she asked, her tone simultaneously curious and critical. She shook her head. “Nevermind that, I need your help.”

She went upstairs into her library to take a look around. Compared to a regular library, it was quite small. Considering that this is her own private collection, one could call it massive.

“Quick! Find me that old copy of Predictions and Prophecies,” she said as she started to turn towards his direction. The dragon had a look of disappointment that suggested he'd seen better days as he walked up the stairs, rubbing his head.

“What's that for?” she asked, curiously eyeing the thing caught on his tail. It was a red gift box with a yellow bow on top, but the box had been scrunched up by his earlier fall and pierced by his tail. He apparently hadn't noticed, taking a look at his own tail.

“Well,” he said, pulling the box off of his tail, “it was a gift from Moondancer, but--”

“Spike, you know we don't have time for that sort of thing,” she interrupted, tone stern.

“But we're on a break!” he countered, with a high inflection sounding much like whining, to which Twilight paid no attention. She didn't want to have to explain to Spike that Moondancer was a lesbian that had been trying to obtain Twilight for her harem for years. She focused her attention on finding Predictions and Prophecies. Using her telekinesis, she pulled various books off the shelves at random.

“No, no, no, no, no, no!” she said as she glanced at each title, her frustration building. None of those books had been the right one.

“SPIKE!” she yelled once again, desiring immediate results.

By the time Twilight called for him, Spike had already moved a ladder towards one of the book cases and climbed to the very top. He took one of the books off the shelf.

“It's over here,” he said aloud.

Twilight, as if with the grace of a 1 year old, dropped every single book she held in her magical grasp and immediately took hold of Predictions and Prophecies, pulling it down to her, along with Spike who ended up landing face first on the floor. Again, the tough little creature suffered very little. In fact, he was more pained by the fact that Twilight had dropped so many books on the floor. After all, he was her assistant; he was the one who'd have to pick them up and put them back in place.

Twilight searched through the book, looking for a passage on the Elements of Harmony.

“Ahah!” she proclaimed as she looked down, “The Elements of Harmony.” A quizzical expression soon formed on her face. “See 'Mare On the Moon'?” she said, repeating the book's entry.

“Mare on the Moon?” Spike questioned. “But that's just an old pony's tale.”

Mare on the Moon happened to be one of the books Twilight had dropped earlier. She picked it up and began reading.

“The mare on the moon, a myth from olden pony times. A powerful pony who wanted to rule Equestria, defeated by the Elements of Harmony and imprisoned in the moon. Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape and she will bring about night time eternal.”

Twilight gasped.

“Spike, do you know what this means?” she said, disturbed. Spike tried to reply, but then he suddenly fell off a ladder.

“Take a note, please, to the princess,” she said, not missing a beat. Spike had already picked himself up off the floor. Twilight handed to him a parchment and a quill pen using her mouth. “My dearest teacher, my continuing studies of pony magic have lead me to discover that we are on the precipice of disaster.”

“Hold on,” Spike interjected. “How do you spell 'precipice'?” Twilight looked at him blankly.

“Threshold,” she said, hoping the substitute would be adequate. Spike stared back at her, his expression as blank as hers.

She sighed. “Brink?” Spike didn't move. She let out a grunt of frustration.

“Just write that something really bad is about to happen.” Spike's quill pen moved. Twilight continued on with the message, pacing about the room.

“For you see, the mythical mare on the moon is in fact Nightmare Moon, and she's about to return to Equestria and bring with her eternal night! Something must be done to make sure this terrible prophecy does not come true! I await your good response. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Twi. Light. Spar. Kle! Got it!” said Spike excitedly.

“Great!” said Twilight. Spike was useful to her, but only as long as he remained in good spirits. “Send it.”

“Now?” he asked.

“Of course!” Twilight answered back, wondering why Spike didn't just send the message immediately.

“I don't know, Twilight,” he said doubtfully, “Princess Celestia's a little busy getting ready for the Summer Sun Celebration. And it's like, the day after tomorrow.”

“That's just it, Spike,” Twilight explained with a worried expression, “The day after tomorrow is the thousandth year of the Summer Sun Celebration!” She closed in on Spike, using their size difference to drive home her point.

“It's imperative that the princess is told right away!”

“Okay, okay!” Spike yelled, more intimidated by her yelling than her close proximity.

Twilight went back to pacing around the room. Spike blew a green fire on the document from his mouth, which turned it into a fine powder. The powder flew out of the window, in a fixed pathway. This was the method by which documents were sent to Celestia from Twilight. It would show up in Princess Celestia's royal chambers, restored to its pre-fire condition. Through these magical means, messages would reach her directly and nopony else could intercept the message.

“There, it's on its way,” Spike informed Twilight. “But I wouldn't hold your breath!” he said teasingly.

“Oh, I'm not worried, Spike,” she said coolly, “The princess trusts me completely. In all the years she's been my mentor, she's never once doubted me.”

Spike's cheeks suddenly puffed up. He let out a guttural burp of fire. Powder came from the fire and transmuted into a sealed parchment.

“See?” she said as it fell to the floor. “I knew she would want to take immediate action.”

Spike picked the parchment up and breached its seal. Before clearing his throat, he read what was written:

“My dearest, most faithful student, Twilight. You know that I value your diligence, and that I trust you completely.”

Twilight was feeling really good about herself at this point, having believed she proved herself correct to him.

“But you simply must stop reading those dusty old books!” he continued on with a devilish grin.

“What!” she blurted out, temporarily losing her control. She rushed over to read the document herself, her head next to Spike's.

“My dear Twilight, there is more to a young pony's life than studying. So I'm sending you to supervise the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in this year's location: Ponyville,” they read together.

Knocking came on the door. “Twilight Sparkle?” called the voice of a Royal Guard pony. Few stallions had such strength in their voice. “We've arrived to escort you to Ponyville.”

Twilight Sparkle and Spike sat in a chariot, pulled through the air by Royal Guard pegasi. The two ponies had a coat of white and were clad in gold-colored bronze barding, horseshoes, and helm, which was the standard Royal Guard uniform. The chariot was of the same material and coloring. It was the afternoon. From their altitude, all except the trees looked microscopic. She could make out various figures over the land, but mostly she just saw grass, trees, bushes, a river, buildings, and mountains.

She looked down at the vast mountainous region as they traveled, contemplating the princess's letter. She still couldn't believe what she'd read. Nothing annoyed her more than mingling with other ponies. She never knew when she'd be pressured to do something she didn't want to, or if she would make a social blunder. Along the way, the final line of the parchment rang in her head.

“I have an even more essential task for you to complete: make some friends!”

She groaned at the thought, a little bit disheartened. Princess Celestia had doomed the poor unicorn to social interaction. Spike was focused more on putting her at ease rather than teasing her. He stroked her mane, being careful not to damage it with his claws. He learned over the years that this eased her distress.

It was at the moments where she started to calm down that she began to put her situation into perspective. The princess had neither confirmed nor denied the claims of Equestria's impending doom. Normally, such an important detail wouldn't have escaped her notice. Equestria was in grave danger and the princess didn't even bother to make a comment about it? That definitely lent some truth to her claims. Her expression changed to one of pondering.

“Look on the bright side, Twilight,” said Spike, trying to cheer her up. “The princess arranged for you to stay in a library. Doesn't that make you happy?”

Her home in Ponyville would be a large tree house, which was modified to store more books than her Canterlot home. She'd have access to an entirely new set of books and her old ones would be transferred over within the week. Though her home was overall smaller and less luxurious, it was far more suitable for holding books.

At that time, it sank in: Twilight realized that the circumstances hadn't really changed at all. The only thing that had changed at all was how she felt. 'Oh, she's good!' thought Twilight.

“Yes,” she answered enthusiastically. “Yes it does. You know why? Because I'm right!” Her self-confidence had returned. “I'll check on the preparations as fast as I can, then get to the library to learn as much as I can about Nightmare Moon's return and the Elements of Harmony.”

Spike had a concerned expression. “Then, when will you make friends like the princess said?”

“She said to check on preparations,” she corrected. “I am her student, and I'll do my royal duty, but the fate of Equestria does not rest on me making friends.”

The chariot came down for a smooth landing. They had arrived in Ponyville. Canterlot was magnificent in its own ways, but Ponyville was a different wonder altogether. It wasn't a noble town like Canterlot was, and yet it was just as orderly. Though she was surrounded by many different buildings in the town's center, not even one of them was in a state of disrepair. Many were of simple design, built with the lumber of nearby trees. Rooftops were lined with copious amounts of hay. Light colors of brown, pink, and white dominated the stables, but darker colors of pink, brown, and green could be seen as well, especially the pink. Some of the homes were decorated with small shrubbery, and fewer than that had their own balconies. In terms of height however, they were all sorely lacking. The tallest homes she could spot were no higher than five stories. Her home in Canterlot, though nowhere near the tallest there, was over 10 stories tall.

The buildings weren't the only spectacle. The ponies were a sight themselves. Though Twilight obviously didn't pay much attention to the ponies, she had to note that the people themselves were well-cared for. Though mostly young ponies, all were healthy. She couldn't spot a single pony with noticeable injuries or handicaps, nor did she find any that were covered in dirt or grime from living on the streets. No beggars, no thieving foals, no baddies at all. No matter how you slice it, such a town could only be the result of Celestia's might.

“Thank you, sirs,” she said to the Royal Guard pegasi as she and her assistant stepped off of the chariot. They seemed to appreciate her thanks. They took leave by air.

Spike didn't want to give on on trying to get Twilight to be friendly with the other ponies. He had seen them wandering around too, and to him they each seemed as if they could be good friends.

“Maybe the ponies in Ponyville have interesting things to talk about,” he said with enthusiasm.

As if pre-arranged, a light pink earth pony mare silently appeared and stopped right in front of them. Her mane and tail were a darker shade of pink than her coat and very curly. Her eyes were large, blue, and expressive, as if she might burst into laughter any second. Laughing eyes, they were called. She was a bit of a chubby pony, and slightly taller than Twilight. And her cutie mark. Were those balloons?

“Twilight, just try!” said Spike, hoping to coax her into making progress.

Her attention was currently focused down on Spike. What the hay, she decided. She looked to the earth pony. She was standing right in front of her. Might as well give it a shot so Spike can hush up about making friends.

“Uh. Hello?” she said with all the submissive sincerity she could muster. Mentally, she was face hooving; she knew that wasn't the best way to make a good first impression, especially as a member of the royal class. The pink earth pony sat there with her mouth slightly open, her eyes fixed on Twilight.

Suddenly, the pink pony jumped several feet into the air!

Twilight was nowhere near ready for that. If the pony had intended to attack Twilight with that jump, she could have been easily struck on the head. The pink mare's jump was perfectly vertical. She gasped loudly and stayed suspended in the air for at least a full second. Within the same aerial instance, she shot past them like a bolt from a Celestial ballista, as if she could run on air. Upon seeing the pony pull her legs back in mid air, Twilight felt the urge to duck, covering Spike's body with hers. After the moment had passed, the two watched in shock as the pony quickly disappeared off into the distance. Twilight's heart was beating very quickly. Then she uttered words that a mage probably shouldn't.

“What the buck was that?!”

“Twilight! Language!” Spike scolded.

“Oh. Uh, sorry?”

As a mage, it was her duty to know “what the buck” everything was. To be confused is to be lacking in understanding, and to lack understanding is to fall prey to tricks, which is unacceptable for one of her position. From this small encounter alone, there were so many questions she began asking herself. Why did the pony approach in the first place? Was she eavesdropping? How does she move so quietly? What had made her react so freakishly? Had Twilight done something to cause her reaction? Would other Ponyville ponies react similarly? How can “Pinky” alter the trajectory of a perfectly vertical jump, shooting forward like a pegasus despite lacking the obvious equipment? Was this some sort of an assassination attempt ('Not likely,' thought Twilight. 'She didn't use a weapon, and if it was an attempt then it was a lousy one.')? For that matter, was Ponyville a safe place to travel through ('Most likely. Princess Celestia would never send me to an unsafe place unescorted, even if she wanted to harm me. Especially if she wanted to harm me. Which she would never want!')? Her conclusion: this was nothing more than a weird encounter. Though she knew that with in her head, her body wasn't so sure. She was still quite jittery. Her new library probably held answers to some of the rest of those questions.

The first thing Twilight decided to do was check up on the banquet preparations in Sweet Apple Acres. The entranceway to the farm was decorated with shrubbery, apples, and a wood piece with a negative space image of an apple. The main stable was at least three stories tall. The design of the buildings here differed slightly from the ones in Ponyville. The rooves weren't covered in hay. Instead of the typical colors, these buildings were mostly mixed patterns of red, light purple, brown, or orange. The enormous land mass was covered in crops of corn, radishes, peppers, carrots, and squash. Rows of peach, pear, plum, and crabapple trees could also be seen. The most abundant were the apple trees, which were pretty much all over the land, even on the mountains in the far background.

“YEEEHAW!” came a loud voice from behind.

It was from an orange earth pony wearing a cowboy hat atop her blonde mane. Her tail, though it matches her mane, was much greater in length. She was about the same height as Twilight, though somewhat smaller in body size. Her eyes were the same shade of green as Spike's. Her cutie mark was a picture of three apples. She was rushing quickly towards a tree that was surrounded by buckets. Mid-dash, she slowed slightly and turn her body to thrust her back legs into the tree.

WHACK!!

Smaller mare, but with a much heavier kick. The mare's kick shook the tree. Shortly after, as if caused by the blonde mare's kick, apples fell from the tree and landed neatly into the buckets. 'Huh,' thought Twilight, 'She's really strong.' She bent her right foreleg, crossing it over her left; a curtsey, as if she had an audience to curtsey for.

Twilight realized, 'Oh, that must be for us.' She sighed and made her way towards the pony and Spike followed closely. “Let's get this over with.”

“Good afternoon. My name is Twilight Sparkle,” she told the orange mare, attempting royalty in her speech this time in order to make a better first impression (she wanted to avoid making the same mistake as with the last pony), reaching out to her for a hoof shake. The mare reached out and took hold of her hoof with both of her own, shaking it wildly, much to Twilight's discomfort.

“Well howdy-doo, Miss Twilight! A pleasure making your acquaintance!” she said with a strong Southern accent and much enthusiasm as she shook her hoof with all her might. “I'm Applejack. We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like making new friends!”

“Fr-rien-nds? Actuall-eeey, I—yuh,” she responded pitifully. So much for getting it right this time. She had completely fallen into Applejack's pace. And how strong she was! Applejack had let go of Twilight's hoof already, and yet it still had shaking sensations.

“So, what can I do ya for?” Applejack asked, winking.

Twilight blinked. 'Was she coming on to me just now?' she considered briefly. If so, that was a bold move. It's common knowledge that any act of homosexuality in Equestria, especially between mares, is punishable by hanging.

She cleared her throat. “Well,” she said, trying to fight the sensual images of Applejack in her head, “I am, in fact, here to supervise preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. And, you're in charge of the food?”

“We sure as sugar are!” replied Applejack, an air of pride about her. “Wouldja care to sample some?” She moved slightly closer to Twilight, eyes seductively narrowed. Twilight lifted a hoof and blushed a little. Okay, she's not even trying to hide it now. In spite of that, she tried her best to hide embarrassment.

“Uh, as long as it doesn't take--” the cowgirl disappeared before Twilight could finish. She took what seemed to be a metal drumstick to ring a small bell.

A small, but very loud bell.

“SOUP'S ON, EVERYPONY!” she yelled out at the top of her lungs. A second later, Twilight was almost trampled by a horde of ponies, mostly young mares. Some set up a table and seats, some carried Spike and Twilight to their seats, and the rest were standing nearby with apple treats.

“Now, why don't I introduce y'all to the Apple family?” said Applejack. A wave of her hoof, and sure enough, it seemed pretty much like every single pony that worked the farm was present. Twilight was beginning to feel pressured, like she felt when she first read Celestia's letter earlier in the day. She wanted to leave before they took up an even greater chunk of her time.

“Thanks, but I really need to hurry,” she said, turning to leave, only to be an inch away from taking an baked good to the face.

“This here's Apple Fritter,” Applejack announced, completely ignoring the weak attempt to leave, “Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart...”

'What?' Twilight thought. Are these the names of the family members or their dishes?! But those mares sure were pretty, every single one of them -- oh. Maybe that's why Applejack is so comfortable with coming on to mares. Treat after treat quickly filled the table until the table had a sloppy mountain of baked goods. Spike seemed to like it, while Twilight seemed apprehensive. A set of 10 Twilights couldn't finish all of that, let alone one.

“So, sugarcube,” said Applejack, smiling as she tossed a Granny Smith green apple and caught it in her hoof, “which one wouldja like to try first?” Applejack and all the other ponies looked at her with curiosity.

She was feeling the pressure. Disappointing ponies just wasn't in her. Not even with the princess had she ever felt so cornered. 'If I appease them, they'll have to let us go,' she reasoned silently. 'That's how things worked.' She indiscriminately took goods into her hooves and shoved them into her face, not caring to sample them individually.

Applejack laughed heartily. “Hooo-doggy! Girl, you sure do like you some apple treats! Want some water with that?” She nodded.

Twilight ended up eating a ridiculous amount, a lot more than she should have. She and Spike ate, and ate, and ate. Ate, until she couldn't eat anymore. And then they said their goodbyes.

Twilight was quite drained already, and she had only just begun. She still had to check on the preparations for the decorations handled by a unicorn named Rarity, the weather handled by a pegasus named Rainbow Dash, and the music which was being handled by a pegasus named Fluttershy. The decorative preparations were next.

“Ugh,” she groaned. “I ate too much pie.” Damn those ponies! Applejack and her family had made her feel more helpless than hoof-to-hoof class in magic high school.

“Now that I think about it, there's supposed to be a pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds,” Spike noted. Twilight examined the sky all around, to find that the sky was full of clouds. She also spied a cyan pegasus in one of them, lazing about on her back.

“Well, she's not doing a very good job, is she?” she said, being very critical. Was it the apple pies talking?

“Rainbow Dash?” Spike called out.

“Uh-huh?” came a voice from the sky. The cyan pegasus hadn't moved an inch.

Twilight sighed. It was her. Why hadn't she cleared the clouds yet?

“Rainbow Dash, I'm Twilight Sparkle,” she informed Rainbow Dash. “The princess sent me here to check on the weather.”

“Uh-huh,” Rainbow Dash answered dryly. Twilight raised an eyebrow. A pony of few words was her first impression.

“You're in charge of the weather, right?” she asked her.

“Yep!” Rainbow Dash answered cheerfully.

“Well, then do your job!” she ordered. The Applejack fiasco had taught her that she needed to be firm sometimes, or else she'll dig herself into a situation she can't dig herself out of.

“Nope, I'm resting right now,” Rainbow Dash calmly responded, crossing one leg over the other.

Twilight was dumbfounded. The sky was untouched. What could she possibly be tired from doing?

“If you're not going to clear the sky now, then when?” Twilight demanded to know.

Rainbow Dash groaned. She stood up and stared down at her. “Look, Twilight, was it?” Rainbow Dash asked brashly. “You're making it really hard to rest. Get off my back already!” she snapped. “I've got this thing covered.”

“I'll get off your back once you start doing your job!” Twilight snapped back.

The pegasus hopped off the cloud and glided downwards, landed gracefully before them. From high up in the sky, you could tell that her mane and tail were a bit different, but it wasn't easy to see why. A closer look made it plain as day. They were rainbow colored! Not quite Roy G. Biv, though, as she was missing one important color: indigo. That has to be some sort of dye, Twilight decided. They were both very messy and damaged, as if she had stopped caring for them long ago. Her cutie mark was a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt shooting from the side. Twilight had always made sure to pay special attention to everypony's cutie mark. They always seemed to give her some insight into what a pony could do and what they were like. But as with Applejack, she couldn't make heads or tails of what Rainbow Dash's cutie mark meant. One thing was certain: it didn't mean she was Zeus.

“Okay, maybe you don't understand what I'm saying,” she said as she approached Twilight, a little irritated. “I've been practicing all day to join the Wonderbolts. They're gonna perform at the celebration tomorrow, and I'm gonna show 'em my stuff.”

The Wonderbolts were Equestria's only aerial presence. They were a general support unit trained to for the bulk of the Equestrian Armed Forces. They were also capable of causing great damage to enemy cities through use of weather manipulation. In times of peace however, they perform acrobatic demonstrations during various holidays and handled disastrous weather. Each individual pegasus was very fast, incredibly powerful, and quite tough considering they were unarmored units. Because of the existence of the Wonderbolts, Celestia and Jakken, the gryphon king, had no choice but to form a peace treaty. A war between the two kingdoms would leave both in ruins.

Upon hearing Rainbow Dash's fascination with the Wonderbolts, Twilight smiled sweetly.

“The Wonderbolts?” she asked.

“Yup!” Rainbow Dash answered excitedly.

“The most talented fliers in all of Equestria?” she inquired further.

“Yup! That's them!”

“Pfffft!” she said, skillfully feigning disbelief. “Please. They'd never accept a pegasus who can't even keep the sky clear for one day.”

“Hey,” Rainbow Dash started with a serious tone, “I can clear the sky in 10 seconds flat.”

“Prove it,” said Twilight with a devilish smirk. She knew she'd found her hook. A jock that took pride in their ability wouldn't back down from a challenge.

Rainbow Dash made a strange face, one that indicated dread, but she didn't back down from the challenge. WHOOSH! Her takeoff had such great acceleration that Spike nor Twilight could see her leave the ground. She was practically a blur in the sky from how fast she flew. And what a unique technique! From what Twilight could tell, Rainbow Dash had actually flown to each individual cloud in the sky and used her speed to deliver kicks and headbutts both precise enough and devastating enough to make the cloud disperse completely without losing even a fraction of her speed, simply changing directions as needed and sinking either her back or one of her front hooves into the next cloud. She zoomed across the sky, moving with enough force to create wind that almost knocked them off-balance as it kicked up lots of dust, dirt, mud, and grass. Before even eight seconds had past, the cloudy sky had cleared up nicely.

“Wew! Yeah!” she yelled as she giggled. She was most likely experiencing an adrenal rush.

“Ten. Seconds. Flat!” she bragged happily as she landed. The previous signs dread were completely absent. She wore a very satisfied and happy expression now. “I'd never leave Ponyville hanging.”

Spike and Twilight were left completely speechless and stunned. Twilight especially. She was expecting her to fail, but she did exactly what she said she could. The problem wasn't that she didn't know what happened; she knew full well what took place. She could easily explain what Rainbow Dash did. She just couldn't believe it happened.

Rainbow Dash laughed. “You should see the look on your face!” she said as she calmly glided through the air. “You're a laugh, Twilight Sparkle. We should really hang out some more!” She flew up back to the cloud she was resting in.

“Wow,” Spike remarked as he turned to Twilight. “She's amazing!”

“That she most certainly is,” she said in agreement. Rainbow Dash had given her a whole new set of things to study tonight. Mainly, the limits of a pegasus, but more importantly, world records for fliers. While she knew many things, there was so much she didn't know.

Truly next now were the decorative preparations. The building where it took place was Twilight and Spike's original destination before they ran into Rainbow Dash. They were only a few yards away. The designated building differed greatly from the other Ponyville structures. It looked more like something you might see in Canterlot. The small castle was cylinder-shaped, with 3 sets of verandas, one at the bottom, one in the middle, and one higher up where the roof of the building was. Atop the roof, flags of green, light purple, cyan, and pink had been set. While it wasn't too far from Ponyville, it did seem to be somewhat isolated.

As they stepped into the home, they immediately understood why Rarity was in charge of the decorations. Banners and ribbons of varying colors aligned the ceiling and the balconies. Some of the ribbons were fitted with jewels or flowers. The colors, the placement, everything seemed perfect. The decor seemed to give life to an empty room. Even as they entered, a unicorn could be seen, still trying to improve the room's look.

“Wow. Beautiful,” said Spike dreamily.

“Yes,” Twilight remarked, “The decor is coming along nicely.” She sighed out of relief, under the impression that she could drop her guard now. “This oughtta be quick. I'll be at the library in no time.” She gave the room another once-over. “Beautiful indeed!”

“Not the decor,” he corrected. “Her!” He pointed towards the unicorn doing the decorating.

She had to be Rarity. The white unicorn had a matching mane and tail of deep purple that seemed to be very straight overall yet very curled from the middle towards the ends. She wore just a touch of light turquoise eye shadow and what Twilight detected as false eyelashes to accentuate her blue eyes. Her cutie mark was three blue diamonds. She was almost completely regal in every aspect, even as she did mundane tasks. She used magic to levitate various ribbons closer to her for examination, trying to decide which would be best.

“No. No. No. Oh! Goodness, no!” she said as she looked over the ribbons, her speech as elegant as her appearance.

Spike was sold, hook, line, and sinker. Only now did he stop to check his appearance.

“How are my spines?” he asked Twilight nervously. “Are they straight?”

Twilight blinked, taking a second to understand what was going on. Then she smiled and rolled her eyes as she made her way towards Rarity.

“Good afternoon,” she greeted the fashionista.

“Just a moment, please!” Rarity quickly replied, holding up a hoof, “I'm 'in the zone', as it were.”

She had decided to go with a sparkling red ribbon for the curtain. “Oh, yes!” she said, using it to tie the curtain. “Sparkle always does the trick, does it not? Why, Rarity, you are a talent.”

“Now, um,” she said, turning towards Twilight, “how can I help y-- WHOOAAAAA!” she stopped mid-sentence, suddenly screaming and jumping backwards a little once she got a look at Twilight.

“Oh, my stars, darling!” she said, with great dramatic emphasis, “Whatever happened to your coiffure?!”

Twilight was both expressionless and speechless. She didn't know what Rarity was freaking out about or talking about, nor did she know how to respond. “My what?”

“Your mane!” Rarity hurriedly rushed a mirror to Twilight's view. Much to Twilight's surprise, her mane was terribly split in places and covered in bits of dirt and grass. She didn't know that it happened, but she could easily guess where it happened.

“Well, it's a long story,” said Twilight, trivializing the matter. “I'll take care of it later. I'm just here to check on the decorations and then I'll be out of your hair.”

“Out of my hair?” Rarity asked, a touch of compassion in her voice. “What about your hair?” She had to take action! She moved behind Twilight and started combing her mane, cleaning it up and straightening it out.

“Wait! What are you doing?!” asked Twilight nervously. She wasn't used to this kind of contact.

“I'm combing it. Hold still, please,” said Rarity, as she worked a levitating comb through Twilight's hair. Twilight sighed.

“Now, you were in the middle of introducing yourself?” said Rarity.

“I'm Twilight Sparkle, and I came here to check on the decorations. But it looks like you have everything under control here, so, uh. We'll be on our way.”

“Well, I can't just let you walk around looking like something the cat dragged in. We have to fix your hair first,” said Rarity.

Twilight groaned. Why was everypony so difficult to deal with?! She doesn't have time to waste on fixing her hair! Screaming that out loud would have been a touch rude, so she kept her mouth shut.

“Yes, I know it's bad, but-- ow! Hey, be careful with that!”

“Sorry, sorry!”

Rarity sure was diligent as she ran the comb through Twilight's mane, straightening it out and ridding it of all the foreign filth. For several minutes they sat and talked as Rarity did her best to fix it up. Spike simply stared at Rarity in amazement. As far as he was concerned, everything about her was absolutely divine.

'This isn't so bad,' thought Twilight. 'Actually, this is pretty nice.'

“There!” exclaimed Rarity as she floated the mirror to Twilight's view again. “Now, let's take a look at the new and improved Twilight Sparkle!”

Twilight took a look at herself in the mirror. In it, she could also see Rarity's compassionate smiling face. She couldn't help but feel happy.

“Thank you so much, Rarity,” said Twilight.

“Oh, I'm not finished with you yet,” said Rarity as she looked Twilight over. “Once I'm finished here, we'll go to my boutique and do something about more about your look. Oh! And maybe after that, we can try on some clothes!”

Twilight gulped. Great, she's a clothes freak!

Nudity was the most common fashion statement for ponies. The concept of clothing had come from observing animals called humans, a type of creature that resided in a completely different dimension. They were a type of furless ape, and very intelligent -- in many ways, moreso than ponies are. In ancient times, in order to them to survive in harsh snowy climates, humans had to kill animals that had their own fur coats so that they could wear them, and then they would create a fire and huddle around it with others of their kind to stay warm. The fur coats they wore provided them with limited protection from attacks and great protection from the cold. As they traveled through the lands and harsh climates let up, clothing became less and less of a survival factor and more of a personal statement. To show how they differed from each other, different families of humans would wear different clothes made of different materials. You could even tell a human's social status by their clothes! The human nobility separated themselves from the commoners by wearing clothes others wouldn't be able to obtain easily. This was an effective way of showing other humans who and what they are.

Ponykind had adopted the clothing concept, though they chose to use non-animal materials to make their clothes. Mainly, ponykind uses clothes as armor, to show off their status, or both. Noble ponies often wore clothes, though mostly for gatherings of a formal setting. Many ponies in general preferred the good old birthday suit. But there were many other ponies like Rarity who had a different interest in them. For some, it was even a sexual kink. Whichever it happened to be, they were usually unhealthily obsessed.

Twilight had already learned her lesson about being weak-willed; she didn't want to have to relearn it. If she didn't escape now, she would definitely end up doing things she'd regret. As soon as she heard Rarity mention clothes, her mind was made up. She gently levitated Spike onto her back and then broke into a swift gallop.

Having successfully escaped from Rarity, Twilight and Spike walked along a road. They were on their way to do the next check.

Spike sighed heavily, still smitten with Rarity. “Wasn't she wonderful?”

Twilight cringed. She didn't want to consider that he might've had a fetish, too. “Focus, Casanova! What's next on the list?”

He snapped back to reality, reading over it. “Music. It's the last one.”

He seemed a bit antsy. He hopped off of her back. “I'll be right back,” he told her, and then he disappeared into the nearby bushes. Had to use the little dragon's room? She decided she'd better go, too.

As she finished and waited for Spike, she noticed that she could hear birds chirping, but not as they would in the wild. They chirped together in unison, creating harmony. They were singing. She looked for the source, finding various birds all gathered on a single tree, and it seemed as though they were being instructed by a yellow pegasus.

“Oh my. Um. Stop, please everyone,” she said, in a low, very polite voice. She flew up to one of the birds.

“Um, excuse me, sir. I mean no offense, but your rhythm is just a teeny tiny bit off.” She fell back gracefully, gliding through the air as she went back into her previous spot.

“Now, follow me please.” She raised a hoof to count. “A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three---”

“Hello!” Twilight shouted to get the pegasus's attention. She gasped, shocked by her voice. Immediately, all of the birds she was instructing flew away.

“Oh my! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to frighten you or the birds!” said Twilight, with great sincerity. “I'm just here to check up on the music.” A smile formed on her face as she spoke. “And it's sounding beautiful.”

The yellow pegasus landed quietly in front of her, a few feet away. Her mane was a light pink. Like Rarity's mane and tail, hers had both the properties of a straight mane and a curly one, though her curls were at the end. Her cutie mark was three pink butterflies. The timid pony had her head turned to the side and said not a word. She acted as if she found it difficult to look directly at Twilight. She had an aura that seemed to say that she was fine with listening, but not with talking.

'Finally! A change of pace today!' She took a few steps closer to the pegasus.

“I'm Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight told her. “What's your name?” The mare was probably Fluttershy, but Twilight wanted to be certain.

Possibly-Fluttershy didn't say a word, only moving her hoof in the dirt a little. She mumbled something out of Twilight's earshot, holding her head down a bit and to the side.

“I'm sorry, what was that?” said Twilight.

It was barely audible, but she said it. “Fluttershy.”

“Fluttershy,” Twilight repeated after her. “That's a really pretty name.”

Fluttershy played with her hoof a little more, blushing. A coy smile formed on her face.

'How adorable!' Twilight thought, squeeing inwardly. 'She's so cute I just wanna kiss her!'

Then she stopped mid-thought. 'Did I really just think that?'

She felt a surge of dread hit her as she imagined Celestia standing over the lifeless bodies of Fluttershy and herself hanging in front of spectators as Celestia told the crowd of their sins. The birds had chosen that moment to regather on the tree.

“Well, umm,” said Twilight nervously, “it looks like your birds are back. So, I guess everything's in order. Keep up the good work!” she said, not sure what else to say to her. She backed away slowly and took her leave to go and find Spike. He showed up out of the bushes.

“Let's go home. Like, right now!” she said urgently.

“What's wrong?” Spike asked as he moved towards her, curious about the urgency in her voice.

Upon seeing Spike, Fluttershy perked up.

“A BABY DRAGON!” she exclaimed loudly and excitedly. She flew over to him immediately, so closely that she was deep within his personal space.

“Oh, I've never seen a baby dragon before!” she remarked casually. “He's soooooo cyuuuute!”

“Well, well, well!” he said, lapping up the attention Fluttershy was giving him.

“Oh my, he talks! I didn't know dragons could talk! That's just so incredibly wonderful, I...” she took flight a few inches above the ground, “I just don't even know what to say!”

Twilight burned hot with jealousy. She levitated Spike onto her back and began walking home.

“Oh, you're leaving? Wait, wait!” Fluttershy called out, following them. “What's his name??” she asked.

“I'm Spike,” he told her.

“Hi, Spike! I'm Fluttershy.” she said, looking downwards a bit out of shyness. Apparently, she wasn't so shy that she couldn't speak when she wanted to. “Are you going home now, Spike?”

“Yeah. We've got nothing else to worry about today,” he answered.

“We have a lot to do today,” said Twilight, correcting Spike. She was hoping to silence Fluttershy.

“Oh, well maybe I could help,” Fluttershy offered. “What do you need help with?”

Twilight sighed. Fluttershy was going to follow them all the way home, wasn't she? How could she get out of this one? She couldn't outrun a pegasus. She couldn't teleport someone else over long distances, nor could she teleport two at once very far. If she tried to teleport Spike and herself somewhere, Fluttershy would be alerted and look for them. Being a pegasus, she would most likely fly up into the sky to extend her field of vision. There would be nothing Twilight could do to keep herself from being spotted in that situation. And Twilight wasn't mean-spirited enough to think any harder than that to escape somepony who had shown herself to be virtually harmless. Upon reaching her conclusion, she sighed again.

They had finally reached their new tree house home. Just as Twilight thought, Fluttershy had followed them home. It was uncanny. She could barely get a word out of the cute pegasus, and now she talked so much that Twilight was beginning to become bored by the sound of her voice. Around Spike, she seemed like a typical party pony, a social caterpillar that had broken free of its cocoon and become a social butterfly. She asked him about all sorts of things, like 'oh, what do dragons like to do?' and 'what do you like to eat?'. Twilight was starting to feel like the third wheel on a date.

They were about to enter when Twilight turned to Fluttershy, who looked as if she was about to step in with them. She blocked her path.

“Your boyfriend will call you later, Fluttershy. Now good night!”

“Wait! He doesn't have my number--”

Twilight had already slammed the door and locked it behind her. Strange. The door was already open. Twilight was a little suspicious, but not too worried.

The inside of the tree house was dark. Despite that, she could easily sense Spike's disapproval, which made her a little uneasy. He hadn't ever disapproved of anything she did before. It was time to do a little damage control.

“Rude much?” he said, very displeased with how she handled Fluttershy. As far as she could tell, she didn't look too hot in Spike's eyes today.

“Sorry, Spike. Everypony today is really getting on my nerves,” she said grumpily.

'And I still need to learn more about Nightmare Moon's coming.' She was still worried, but not as much was she was before Celestia's reply.

“Spike, can you find the light? We shouldn't stand here talking in the dark.”

At that moment, the lights turned on.

“SURPRISE!!!”

Ponies were everywhere!! Were they here the whole time? How? There must've been at least a hundred ponies crammed into the treehouse! Some were ponies she had seen earlier in town, some she knew from Canterlot, but she hadn't seen the majority of them.

The house was decorated in party fashion. It wasn't quite done with Rarity's level of expertise, but it was suitable enough for a party. It almost distracted her from the fact that the place was originally a library. There was a long table off to the side set up with goblets of what seem to be some type of fruit punch. Ponies from upstairs seemed to be setting up large speakers. They seemed to be having a few problems.

“Sur-priiise!”

It was the crazy pink mare from earlier.

“Hi!” she said, with more energy than any pony could ever muster up, “I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you!” she informed Twilight.

“Were you surprised?” She started bouncing as high as she did earlier. “Were you? Were you? Huh? Huh? Huh?”

'Very surprised,' thought Twilight. 'How the hell did you get into my home?'

If Fluttershy was a social butterfly, Pinkie Pie was a magically mutated one with three heads that had been created in some mad scientist pony's laboratory. The sweet smelling mare talked poor Twilight's ears off. She didn't listen to much she said, only moving to one of the tables to pour herself something to drink. The pony was very hard to ignore, constantly changing the inflection of her voice. The way she spoke, it was almost as if she were compelled to pay attention to her.

“...cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville! And if you're new, that meant you haven't met anyone yet, and if you haven't met anyone yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends then you must be lonely, and that made me so sad!”

Pinkie Pie prattled on. Twilight didn't even care anymore. She took a sip of her drink, only to spit it out in the most disgusted manner.

“Yuck!!” shouted Twilight, still trying to rid her tongue of the taste, “What IS this stuff?!”

“Tequila!” answered Pinkie Pie loudly. “What, you've never drank Tequila before? It's AWESOME! You should totally have some! Here!” She hurriedly rushed to pour her another goblet, but it was too late by then. Twilight was already heading upstairs to her bedroom.

She just wanted to be completely alone, to get some time to think, some room to breathe, some space to clear her head. And, unbeknownst to her, some much needed sleep. She lay on her bed, atop her astronomically correct bedsheets, staring out at the moon.

“Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about everlasting night,” she said, recalling what she had read earlier.

She wore a melancholy expression now. It finally dawned on her that if Nightmare Moon really did escape from the moon, the last thing she'll have the luxury of worrying about is crazy ponies who wanted to be friends with her. Life as she knew it would come to an end.

She put her head on the pillow, drifting off into sleep after a few minutes.

About 4 hours later, the door opened abruptly. It was Spike. Twilight woke up. She noticed the music wasn't playing any longer and she didn't hear anypony downstairs.

“Come on, Twilight!” Spike exclaimed urgently, “It's time to watch the sunrise!” He dashed out of the room, headed to the designated building. She hopped out of bed and looked at the moon one last time before she decided to head out.

“I hope it really is just an old pony tale.”