Shiver Me Niggaz

by A Large Handsome Walrus

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Human, Sad, Romance, Tragedy
Length: 1624

Lil' Wayne in Equestria!

Lil' Wayne in Equestria.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-21 22:58:18 UTC

B1TCHEZ

The moon was hanging high in the sky as Lil' Wayne finish writing his new piece, entitled “Shiver Me Niggaz” the song was about; How much weed he smoked, how expensive his car was and how many ladies he achieved coitus with.

“Dis shiz iz gonna mak iz milli0nz!” He exclaimed

“Yeah dude totally!” Shouted Justin Bieber, who was contributing the song.

Lil' Wayne inhaled some more of “Da goud stuf”

“WH4T IZ YO' STILL DOIN' IN MUH CRIB B1TCH?!” he shouted before awkwardly taking out his gun and shooting Justin in his white ass.

He proceeded out side to his big ass swimming pool, which was obviously filled to the brim with big ass bitches he slapped some asses and got a couple of blow jobs as well. He was getting very  bored of this routine, all he wished for was some new phresh virgins to fuck. Every hoe from the east and west coast have already taken some Wayne in them.

At this point angelic calls could be heard from all around him, his bitches had retreated to his mansion but he stood strong ready to face whatever came at him.

Just as he was going to grab his gun he saw a man descend from the night sky. It was Black Jesus, Morgan Freeman.

“I have heard your call” Morgan said.

“What'z yo' nigga ass talking 'bout” Lil' Wayne replied

“I can hear you praying, to be in a world where there are virgins a plenty” All women within 100 miles had powerful orgasms at the sound of his voice.

“Can yo' black azz make mah dream come true?” Said Wayne tears forming in his glistening eyes knowing that there is hope for his sex life yet.

“Yes” Morgan Freeman replied, his voice was as smooth as butter being spread on newly made toast.

He then vanished. Wayne was very confused, but then the world around him started to shake his vision fading to black. His legs giving in and he began to fall.

Twilight and her friends where sitting in silence in her home, it had been another uneventful Hearts & Hooves day and the girls were all a bit bummed out. They all thought this was going to be the year they finally managed it, to get that very special somepony, but alas, no instead they are stuck with nothing nopony to hold on to at night. Nopony to say that they loved them. So it would be the same for the next year. Ponies only tended to start relationships at this time of year.

It was the dead of night, almost all of the town had gone to bed next to their loved ones. Ponyville never had much of a night life, the town was more of a get-away from all of that with ponies escaping the rush of the rat race in the big cities along the coast. They came to start up shops, write books, relax, and raise their family’s in peace. The place was a paradise compared to the larger cities.

“So how all y'all feelin'” Applejack broke the silence after a while.

“Down” Rainbow replied. “How could we all fail again!” She raised her voice, causing her friends to flinch.

“Calm down, there's still next year” Twilight said

She then looked out of her window, her friends were getting tired she said her goodbyes and let them all out.

Taking a deep sigh Twilight walked into the main room of her library taking off her evening clothes and proceeded you the stairs to run a bath.

She looked out of the window, she saw a large star and started praying to Celestia.

“Just give us somepony please? Make all this effort, pain and torture worth it, this is all we ask for.”

She finished and sighed and was about to jump in to her bath until she noticed something in the sky the star was slowly getting brighter and brighter, larger and larger. She went through her bedroom and out onto the balcony she peeped through her telescope in to the sky fiddling around with it until she pin pointed it. It was a great ball of fire heading straight her was the sheer brightness made it hard to judge the size of the meteor though she guessed that it must have been massive.

She began gathering quills and inkwells and went to wake up Spike. She nudged him awake.

“Huh? What is it Twilight?” Spike sleepily said rubbing his eyes.

“No time to explain” She rushed out to her desk and began writing a letter to Luna. The letter was simply asking if she was aware of the massive hunk of rock heading for Ponyville.

She gave the letter to Spike and told him to send it.

“I still don't know what the rush is all about” He said as he blow fire at the parchment and the smoke hurried out of the room and towards Canterlott.

Twilight took Spike to her telescope and showed him the offending bit of rock.

The rock in question was now a raging fireball and a few ponies were beginning to take notice and were running for shelter, some were screaming prompting others to do so as well soon the sounds of fear could be heard all over the normally peaceful town.

Lil' Wayne had recovered from unconsciousness and started wailing.

“Argg! Get deez nigga flames aff eh meh!” He shouted at the top of his lungs, he could see the ground fast approaching. He thought this was the end.

“Why'd yo' nigga ass do dis shit to me!” He screamed at the sky. He got no answer. He was promised bitches and he got this?! He was far to good to get this! He was a millionaire! Fucked loads a bitches and had thousands of honkey fans! He finally hit the ground, everything suddenly went to black. Was this the end of obviously the greatest rapper in that exists and will ever exist?

Wh3r3 4ll |\/|uh H0Ezez AT?!

"And the winner is... Shiver Me Niggaz!" All of the audience began to cheer as Lil Wayne and Captain McNigger walked up to the podium. He could barely hear himself think over at the bombardment of sound that was assaulting his ears. The crowd quieted as he neared the microphone.

"Yeeee" He did that poetic thing that all of the obviously best rappers do. "Ah would like to thank you all fo' dis award. Ah am aware of just how difficult it is to become the Intergalactic Poet of du millennium. As you probably can all tell it took a big amount of work me and the Captain put into this song."  Lil' Wayne said in his posh voice. "and ah'm sure you'll all want to see teh song dat rose me to become Poet of eh Millennium." The crowed roared in agreement and the lights began to dim.

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Suddenly the floor started shaking, windows began to break and the supports of the building started to buckle. The people were all in mass panic.

"DUH H3LL IZ G0IN' ON NUGGUH??/?" Shouted Lil Wayne at the top of his lungs.

"AW AH DUNNO MUN MAYBE ITZ EH FEDZ" Replied the Captain.

The ceiling collapsed revealing a large construct of titanium.

"HALT DWAYNE CARTER! BY COMMAND OF THE HIGH JUDGE OF EARTH YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE PROCESSED!" Bellowed a metallic voice from the craft.

"WHO DAT WAYNE?" Shouted McNigger trying to hide his fear.

"ITZ DUH CENSOR! THEY R HERE TO RUIN MUH POETRY!" Lil Wayne replied bravely. "DON'T WORRY A'VE HANDLED THEM B4" He then walked to the front of the stage about to give the command for his teams assistance.

"NIGGA MUNNY SWAG MUNNY!"

All of a sudden the doors burst opened and emerged 50 Cent, Will.I.Am, P Diddy, Snoop Dogg, Kanye West, Jay-Z, Dr Dre, Ice Cube, Ludacris, Drake, Chris Brown and Justin Bieber and ran piling them selves on Lil Wayne all combining into one big nigger sludge. Eventually the sludge began to morph, growing arms and legs. Forming the all too terrifying Niggertron.

"WITNIS MUH TRU POWAH! Exclaimed the Niggertron before blasting it's jets and taking off towards the behemoth in the sky. The beasts were about to collide when Wayne's reality started to disintegrate.

"N0 WHUT IZ HAPENIN???" He started to fall through time and space into the vast nothingness below him. He closed his eyes praying to 2pac for forgiveness. Suddenly he could no longer feel movement. He opened his eyes, the world was still blank. But it was as if he had reached the bottom of existence. He stood up; his legs shaking violently.

"Where iz me? R I in Heaven? "

"No, Dwayne" A divine voice behind him stated. Wayne turned around, a large ball of energy was before him.

"Whut is u?" :() He gasped.

"It is not important, what is important is where your body is in the mortal world."

"Well I was in muh pool party surrounded by bitchez"

"After that" The voice retorted.

Dwayne winced as a surge of pain rushed through his brain. "I can't remember"

"Hmmm" The voice thought. "Your connection to the mortal world is weak but active. I could take you back, for a price."

"N'd whut wold that bee?"

"Spread the word of Young Money and swag."

"What does you meen?"

"4 years Carter, 4 years" The ball dimmed into non-existence. Lil Wayne was bewildered, the floor started to lose its power and, once again Wayne was falling.

"SH33TZ N0T AGAIN!" As he fell he started to lose consciousness. Sleep had taken him, he felt oddly comfortable, he could also hear a faint beep...

Beep...

Beep...

Beep...