Awkward Situations

I ran along the edge of the forest with Sweetie Belle riding on top of my head. She was supporting herself with her hind legs on my shoulders and her front legs wrapped around my forehead. It was like having a cute little talking hat! She was giving me instructions on how to get back to place of residence.

"Okay, you need to sneak past Fluttershy's house." She said while pointing towards a nearby cottage.

"Right!... How?" We shared a moment of silence.

"Probably go around the back."

"Alright!" I made sure to be especially careful while going around back. The backyard was fairly open and wide, but to go around I had to pass by a good sized fenced off portion next to a chicken coop in the mare's yard. It was full of reptiles. Lizards, snakes, turtles.... I was afraid of reptiles...

"Jack? Are you alright?" I heard Sweetie Belle ask. I didn't notice at the time, but I was absolutely still. I wasn't even breathing!

"T-the sn-snakes and stuff..." I said as I pointed toward the slithering mosh pit of fear.

"Hey, you don't have to be scared. They're far away." She was trying to be comforting, but in reality, the pit was only about thirty feet away. "Just be careful and you can get past, alright?" Her voice squeaked again and I was filled with reassurance.

"Alright..." I took one small step of another, being careful not to alert the snakes.

PTSSSSS!!

I slowly brought my head down to my feet and saw the most terrifying thing ever. A constrictor was working its way up to my leg. Before I left that thing touch me, I did the bravest thing I could think of.

"GYAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!" I ran away screaming like Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls!

"JACK! JACK, SLOW DOWN!!" I heard Sweetie Belle screaming in my ears, but I was too afraid to listen. That slithering, satanic, piece of shit almost TOUCHED ME!! I kept running as fast as I could; I had to make sure that the thing wouldn't be able to follow me.

"OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!!!!!!"

"Jack! Wait... Turn here!" I kept running an ignored the command. That is, until she clenched a bunch of my hair in her teeth and yanked to the side.

"OUCH!" I reared to the left and crashed to the ground seconds later.

"Owwwwww....." We both found ourselves saying.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Scootaloo and Applebloom sat indolently in the middle of the clubhouse, awaiting their friend's return from her picnic.

"Wanna go crusading for our fishing cutie marks?" Scootaloo asked.

"No." Applebloom replied.

"Wanna go crusading for our artist cutie marks?"

"No."

"Wanna go crusa-"

"NO! Scootaloo, we ain't supposed to go crusading without Sweetie Belle! It just don' feel right..."

"Yeah... I guess... Wanna play a game?"

"....Sure." Scootaloo halfheartedly turned to the far side of the clubhouse and stood by the wall. After three light taps with the tip of her hoof on a secret spot, a panel next to it slid open, revealing all sorts of different games, snacks, and trinkets they've collected.

"How about chess?" Scootaloo asked.

"Ugh... Okay..." Scootaloo grabbed the corresponding box and brought it over to her still siting friend; the panel closing itself behind her. The box was emptied into a bedraggled pile before the fillies grabbed the pieces of their kingdom and arranged them.

"So, I had a thought. Like after you said we can't go crusading." Scootaloo began.

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking about how we don't have our cutie marks and how we're made fun of for that."

"Yeah?"

"Well, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are always making fun of us and I was wondering... What are their talents, exactly?" The two sat there in silence for a moment. A light giggling settled in. "I mean, what does Tiara do? Did she get her cutie mark from trying on different hats and finally found the right one?!" The laughing intensified.

"Or Silver Spoon! She probly got her's from learnin' how to eat every meal with just a spoon!" Applebloom chortled.

"Imagine eating waffles with a spoon!" Scootaloo howled.

"That'd be great! HAHAHA!!!" The two fillies exchanged a loud WHEW before catching their breathes and returning to usual, more calm state.

"I don' know though..." Applebloom began. "I think the only thang them two're good at is bein' a couple a no good little bit-" Applebloom quickly stuffed a hoof in her mouth. "Ah can't believe ah almost said... What ah almost said." Applebloom's eyes darted from left to right as if she expected Applejack to show up at any minute.

"Don't be so paranoid, Applebloom! It's just a swear." Scootaloo offered.

"Ah know, but ah was always taught not ta speak like that."

"It's not like anyone's gonna care or anything. Watch." Scootaloo sat up straight and cleared her throat. "Fuck!" The two looked around the room for a moment and after a short period of silence, Scootaloo continued. "See? The world didn't come crashing down, the city isn't on fire, your sister didn't even show up."

"Alright... Um..." Applebloom gulped. "B-bitch..." She whimpered.

"Was it really that bad?"

"Ah don' think I'd like ta talk like that anymore..." Applebloom looked almost sick.

THUMP

"Owwwwww...." Two voices could be heard groaning at the front of the clubhouse.

"What was that?" Scootaloo asked, not waiting for a reply. The two of them galloped over to the nearest window and stuck their heads outside. Sweetie Belle was lying on the ground, in what looked like pain, next to some giant thing!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Damn, that hurt..." I little more than whispered.

"Ouch.. My leg..." Still lying on the ground, I looked over to Sweetie Belle who had already stood up and dusted herself off; her foreleg was scratched slightly. "Are you alright, Jack?"

"Yeah, just glad that I didn't break my nose." I said while rubbing my face.

"SWEETIE BELLE, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT THING?!" I looked up to what looked like a tree house to see an almost neon orange pony with a purple streaked mane. A lighter colored, yellow filly with a red, flowing mane followed quickly after. She was sporting a large bow in her hair.

"He's a... a... What are you?" Sweetie Belle asked. I brought a hand up to my chin and thought for a brief moment.

"Zecora told me that I'm some kind of mythical creature... She called it a 'human' I think." Sweetie Belle smiled and turned back to her friends.

"He's a human! I found him in Zecora's house!"

"Is he dangerous?" The yellow one asked. I happily stepped forward.

"Aside from being able to crush your skull in one of my hands, no, I'm not dangerous." I was only about three feet shorted than most of the trees in the area. I was very big compared to most of the things in this world. Zecora was mostly keeping me around for protection when ever she needed something out of the forest. I remember ripping the jaw off of a Manticore once. But the fact that I had already made a rather dark joke and that I was standing proudly with a huge smile on my face afterwards only made the two upstairs back up a bit. "Hey, I'm just kidding! I'm not gonna hurt you."

"His name is Jack." Sweetie Belle said.

"I'm Applebloom."

"Scootaloo."

"Well, nice to meet you!" I said.

"Sweetie Belle, why are ya draggin' this guy around for?" Applebloom asked.

"I was going to go show Rarity." Sweetie Belle replied.

"Yeah, that'll go well." Scootaloo scoffed. Sweetie Belle acted as if she had never heard her.

"Well, we'll see when we get there, won't we?" I asked.

"Yeah!" I picked Sweetie Belle up and placed her back on top of my head.

"To where ever the heck you and your sister live!" I screamed as I ran off into the distance with no idea where I was going.