Geoverse: Three Random Things

by GeodesicDragon

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Diamond Tiara, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, DJ P0N-3, Human, Romance, Applejack, Original Character
Length: 8538

Five authors get together, pick three random items, and write a story about them. Randomness ensues.

What happens when five authors get together to create stories based around some guy's series of self-insert HiE stories, revolving around three completely random items?

You get this silly little collab... presented in all of its demented, random glory.

Part of the Geoverse.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

I put out a message on my group forum asking if anyone would be up for a random collab. The idea was that authors went to this website and used the 'Random Noun Generator' to generate three things. They then had to write those ideas into a story centred around the Geoverse, the name I've given to my collection of (somewhat) popular self-insert HiE stories.

Rated Teen for language. Contains some dark elements.

CONTRIBUTORS

* Me (obviously)
* greatodyer
* Ikemtz16
* Vetnern
* MOAKStryker (he changes his name so damn often there's no point in me linking to his profile)

Published 2013-07-30 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-08-01 16:46:55 UTC

GeodesicDragon: Noisecapades

NOISECAPADES

By GeodesicDragon

On a hill overlooking Ponyville, I sat back and relaxed as the night sky lit up with stars. Beside me, Twilight worked feverishly to unpack her telescope from its carry case. I had offered to help but she had politely declined, so I simply watched as she levitated the telescope out the case and gingerly set it down on the grass.

"There we go." Twilight said. "And it only took me five minutes. But at least now we can get some stargazing done."

"No," I replied, "you mean that you can get some stargazing done. I'm just here because I didn't want you to be alone."

"I did this a million times before I met you!" Twilight shot back. "If you don't want to be here, Geo, you can go home."

I thought about doing exactly that for a moment before deciding not to. Instead I moved closer to Twilight and hugged her.

"Nah." I said. "I think I'll stay here and see if I can't get involved with this. Who knows? I may grow to like it as much as you do. But not only that, I get to spend some quality time with you."

Twilight leaned closer and gently kissed my cheek. After a moment she leaned back and looked into her telescope. She moved it around looking for constellations, occasionally gasping in wonder at a new one Luna had created or chuckling with glee at seeing some of her favourites — Orion and the Ursa Minor being two of them.

I joined her in looking at the sky and eventually I admitted to myself that it was indeed a thing of wonder and beauty. Luna had obviously taken a lot of time to make it just right for everypony who would be looking upon it — such as Twilight and I.

But as we continued to enjoy the evening, a sound on the air made me realise that we weren't the only ones who would be up and about at this time of the evening. The pulsing and pounding bass could only be coming from one place — Vinyl's club.

As the sound reached her ears Twilight – who had been more engrossed in her stargazing – yelped in alarm and fell over, knocking her telescope over in the process. The result was one angry alicorn and a large bump on my forehead.

"What the—" Twilight snarled. "We are trying to have a relaxing evening here, but we can't with that... racket in our ears!"

I helped her to her hooves and stroked her mane in an attempt to calm her down. But if the steam shooting out of her nostrils was anything to go by, it wasn't working. Instead of gazing at the sky and having a good time, glaring in the direction of the club now seemed to be Twilight's top priority.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'll go and talk to her." I said. "She'll listen to me – I was her top security guard after all."

"Okay." Twilight replied. "You go and talk to her. I'll wait here until you get back."

I nodded and started walking towards the club. I soon found myself standing in front of the doors, much to the surprise of the ponies waiting in line and the solitary guard watching over them.

"Geo!" The guard stuttered. "Er, I mean, Prince Geo. W-what brings you here of all places?"

"Hey, Snowflake." I replied. "First of all, cut the 'Prince' crap. I worked with you long enough to call you a friend, and my friends get to call me 'Geo'. Secondly, I'm here to see Vinyl."

"Sure thing, Geo." Snowflake replied, his nervous disposition gone. "Just head on in, you know where Vinyl's office is."

I grinned and patted the mass of muscle on what I hoped was his shoulder as I entered. The club was full of dancing patrons, all of whom were too busy enjoying themselves to notice my entrance.

I walked to the back room where Vinyl's office was located. I knocked on the door once and entered before she had a chance to reply, or even to acknowledge the fact I had knocked.

"Hey!" She shouted as the door swung open. "What's the big idea just walking into my office you—"

"Hey, boss." I interrupted. "Long time, no see."

Vinyl's jaw dropped onto her desk as I entered and sat down. After a moment she composed herself and leaned back in her chair with her usual confident grin on her face.

"Well." She said plainly. "This is an unexpected pleasure. So, Geo, what can I do for you tonight? You here to work?"

I laughed and shook my head.

"If you'll remember," I replied, "you 'dismissed me from your service' when I was coronated. So I'm afraid I can't work for you tonight, as it would be against regulations."

Vinyl blew at her mane and leaned forward, clopping her forehooves together.

"In that case," she grinned, "why are you here?"

I sighed.

"I'm here about the noise." I said flatly. "Twilight and I were trying to enjoy a peaceful night of stargazing when we heard the music blaring out of this place. Any chance you could turn it down?"

Vinyl chuckled.

"No can do, your Highness." She retorted. "Since this place is built so far away from Ponyville, it doesn't have to comply with the anti-noise regulations. Sorry, pal, but you and Twilight are just gonna have to live and let live."

I sighed.

"I had a feeling you'd say something like that." I groaned. "I know that Twilight isn't going to like it, but I also know that she won't let it stop her from studying. Whatever the case, I think I'm in for one hell of a night."

I got up and held out my fist, which Vinyl bumped with a forehoof.

"Sorry to have bothered you, Vinyl." I said. "I'll try and catch up with you at some point, okay?"

"Sure thing." She replied. "Catch ya later, man."

I left the room and headed back into the cold night air. After saying my goodbyes to Snowflake I headed back to the hill, where Twilight was sitting with her wings wrapped around her torso. Her telescope lay to one side as she chewed her lower lip, her eyes narrowed and glaring into the distance.

Her ears perked up as I approached and she turned her head, a small smile gracing her lips as she saw that it was me. I sat down next to her and soon felt a wing being wrapped around me, so I leaned in closer to my wife to allow us to share body heat.

"So..." Twilight said eventually. "What did Vinyl say?"

I swallowed nervously before telling Twilight exactly what Vinyl had told me. Just as I expected, she didn't take it well.

"This isn't fair!" She shouted. "These regulations she is hiding behind need to be rewritten, or repealed altogether!"

I groaned.

"You and I both know that neither of those things is going to happen." I said. "So you can either learn to live and let live, or you could just..."

"... I could just what?" Twilight asked, noticing the fact I had trailed off. I looked at her sheepishly.

"Or..." I sighed. "You could just cast that noise-cancelling spell you used on the night of our coronation..."

I giggled like a schoolgirl as I recalled what we were doing at the time she cast that spell, while Twilight simply shook her head.

"The spell is only designed to drown out noises at or below a certain frequency." She lamented. "So it won't work on Vinyl's music. But you've just given me an idea."

"I have?" I asked blankly. "What did I do?"

"You suggested the noise-cancelling spell which, as I've said, won't help us. So the next best thing to do is block out the noise... by making noise."

I mulled this over for a moment before I grinned.

"You want to have sex?" I asked. "Here? All right then, Twi, but I had no idea you were into—"

Twilight stuck a forehoof over my mouth and shook her head furiously, as her cheeks turned crimson.

"Not like that!" She hissed. "I meant by making a different kind of noise. Just watch and see."

She removed her hoof from my mouth and I looked at her blankly as her horn started to glow. As I watched, the sky began to darken. I glanced behind me to see clouds from the Everfree Forest, which were enveloped in Twilight's magical aura, being moved into position above us.

"If the noise-cancelling spell won't help us," Twilight grinned, "then this should be able to make enough noise to drown out the music!"

"By creating a thunderstorm?!" I yelped. "Are you crazy, Twi? What if somepony gets hurt? Stop this nonsense and let's just do it!"

Twilight ignored my – quite frankly brilliant – suggestion and stopped casting. The sky was now full of ominously dark clouds, which promptly began dumping their contents on us. The sky was lit up with lightning and the rolling roar of thunder — but at least we couldn't hear the music coming from the club any more.

Twilight, noticing the desolate look on my face, lit her horn again. I felt her magic flowing through my body and looked at her. She was completely dry, and so was I.

"All right then." I said. "While I can't say I like the situation, I guess I can't argue with the results."

Twilight stuck her tongue out at me and giggled.

"Did you honestly believe that I wouldn't have thought this plan through before carrying it out?" I shook my head in response and she rolled her eyes. "Of course you didn't. Now let's just sit here and enjoy the rest of the evening."

"But what are we going to look at?" I asked. "The sky is covered in clouds, so there are no stars!"

Twilight's eyes widened and she looked upwards. Sure enough, not a single star was visible. She looked at me again and her left eye started twitching while strands of her mane popped out of place.

Even with the combined noise of a thunderstorm and a busy nightclub, everypony in Ponyville heard the same word that night.

"CRAP!"

Author's Note

MY RANDOM THINGS: Astronomy, Bass and Thunder.

MY AUTHOR'S NOTE: Don't fuck with Twilight Sparkle.

Greatodyer: Meat On The Mind

MEAT ON THE MIND

By Greatodyer

"Mmm... ohh... that’s so good..."

"Ya like that, huh?"

"Oh you bet... it tastes so good..."

"Well don’t you worry none, sugarcube, because there’s plenty more where that came from!"

I swear, these apple fritters get better and better every time AJ bakes them. Each one was just full of flavour and one was never enough. Kind of like Jaffa Cakes really... I really miss those.

"Help yerself to whatever ya can find. Ah’ll be back later." AJ said, walking past me with her saddlebags on.

"Where are you off to?"

"Ah gotta pick up some supplies from the market. Ah thought we could make that veggie stew that Twilight recommended to us. Looked like Geo loved it." she replied.

"Oh hell yes." I got up from my seat and knelt down to give AJ a quick kiss. "I’ll see you this evening then?"

"Sure thing." She gave me a quick peck on the cheek before exiting the house. I returned to my food and began to wolf down the remaining fritters – each one better than the last.

After finishing the fritters, certain thoughts circled my mind. Thoughts about what foods I could probably never have again. Once again, Jaffa Cakes. Oh, God, they were so good. And that legendary orange drink... Irn Bru. I tried explaining it to Pinkie once but it ended with her trying to replicate the taste by making cupcakes...with chunks of iron in them.

I sighed to myself and took the used plate to the sink. Turning the tap on, I scrubbed the plate clean and set it on the side to dry. Looking out of the window, I watched the variety of animals graze in their respective pens. The chickens were pecking away at the ground, the cows were eating grass, and the pigs...

"Pigs..." I muttered.

Something clicked within my mind... something awoke. Even though I had been living here for months now and I’ve been around the animals for the same amount of time, these pigs now seemed to remind me of one thing and one thing only — bacon. Sweet, glorious, beautiful bacon.

"Ohh... it’s right there... bacon." My vision began to fog up — it was then I realised that I had my face pressed against the window. I shook my head and walked away from the window.

I collapsed onto the sofa in the living room and got myself comfortable. The thought of bacon was still lingering in my mind so I tried to find something to take my mind off it.

"I don’t need it, because that stew will be great this evening. Geo said it was one of the best things he ever tasted. But even so, it can never beat..." I stopped myself saying that word. "It's a nice day outside, maybe I should go for a walk." I got to my feet and walked towards the door.

*SQUEAL*

That noise. It was the pigs. Just that one noise brought back memories of my Sunday morning ritual. Get up at nine, have a shower and then rush straight into the kitchen for a bacon club sandwich with loads of brown sauce. I slapped myself on the head to regain some form of composure.

"Get a grip, John!" I cursed myself. Putting my hand on the door handle, I heard the pigs squeal again. This time, the noise reverberated within my head and would not die down. The thought of bacon would not leave my mind. I had to have it. I had to have bacon... NOW.

Looking around the room, the sun shone on a certain spot. On that spot lay a tool which would come in most useful. "Thank you, Celestia." I said with a chuckle. Reaching down, I carefully picked up the sharp knife and held it tight. I walked back to the door and opened it up slowly.

Poking my head out of the door, I could see Granny Smith to the left, snoozing peacefully in her rocking chair. I needed to be quiet for this to go off perfectly. I tiptoed across the porch, avoiding the squeaky boards (I had those memorised). Knife in hand, I walked around the back of the house to where the pig pen was located.

Stopping at the fence, I stared down at them whilst they lay in their own filth. The stench from this pen was unbearable. I brought my hand to my face and dragged it down.

"Why does the best food in existence have to come from something that sleeps in its own shit?"

The thought of a well done bacon sandwich soon eradicated these thoughts and I put my hand on the gate.

"John?"

"Ah! Um..." I slowly turned around to see Apple Bloom staring up at me. "Oh hey, Apple Bloom. Shouldn’t you be at school?"

"We’re finished!" She looked at the sharp object in my hand and raised an eyebrow. "Uhh... whatcha doin' with that there knife?"

"Oh... I um... you see..." I couldn’t explain meat to her. AJ knows about it but I never bring it up in conversation. Fortunately, a rather large natural object next to me gave me an idea. "I was going to carve something into this tree! Want to watch?"

"Sure!" she happily responded.

"All right then." I added with a smile. I approached the tree and pointed the knife at it. "Let’s see... what if I do this?" I carved a heart shape into the trunk of the tree about a foot tall. "And now to add two names into it."

*OINK OINK*

The noises got my attention again. I turned my head to look at the pigs who were rolling around in the mud...no doubt their own crap as well. Bacon was within three meters of me...it was so close and I was so near.

"Err...John?"

I turned back to Apple Bloom. "What?"

"What’s bacon?"

How does she know that word?!

"Um...where did you hear that word?" She pointed to the tree which had two names carved into it.

"Something I remembered from home." I replied as I slapped my head and groaned heavily. "Probably best if you didn’t know about it, to be perfectly honest."

"Sure... um... Ah’m gonna go crusadin’. See ya later!" I watched Apple Bloom run off into the orchards towards her clubhouse.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I turned my attention back to the swine in the pen. I carefully pushed the gate open and walked into the brown mess that they live in.

"So... which one of you is it going to be?" I said to myself, brandishing the knife once again. Walking slowly, I approached one from behind and crouched down.

At that moment, it hit me. The whole gravity of the situation. I looked at the knife and had a hard think about what I was about to do.

"Am I really killing one of AJ’s pigs just for food?" I asked myself.

"Ya better not."

Oh crap...that voice.

I gulped and slowly turned around, only to receive one hell of a glare from my wife.

"AJ... I..." I couldn’t get out of this - she was the Element of Honesty after all. With a sigh, I put the knife on the ground. "Sorry, hon, this is exactly how it looks." I got to my feet and walked out of the pen, closing the gate behind.

"Ah can’t believe you would even think about doin' this, John!" Applejack angrily stated. "These are mah animals!"

"I know, I know. It’s just..." I shook my head. "Look... you don’t know what bacon is like. It’s one of the biggest things I miss about being on Earth. Something just... I don’t know... made me go a little crazy I suppose." I went to put my hand on her shoulder which she accepted. "I was gonna do it... I really was." AJ’s face went from anger to shock. "But I stopped myself before I did it. Seriously... I had an epiphany. I started to think about what would happen if I did it."

"Ya can’t hide nothin’ from me." AJ replied quietly.

"Exactly. I..." I looked back at the tree and laughed at the carving. "I mean look! That’s how much I wanted bacon!"

AJ looked at the carving. She barely managed to hide her giggles but fell to the floor belly laughing shortly after.

"I still can’t believe I did that..."

AJ stopped laughing after a while and got back to her hooves. She reared up on her hind legs and rested her forehooves on my chest.

"Look, sugarcube... Ah know you have urges." She leaned forwards to kiss me on the lips. "So Ah think I can forgive ya... this time." She smiled at me and got back onto four legs before trotting back towards the house.

Wow... she forgave me that quickly?

"Hang on..." I said. "You were quick at the market."

She entered the house, leaving the door open for me to follow through. "Ah forgot my bits. Brain’s not workin’ today."

"I know that feeling..." I went to the refrigerator and picked out a bottle of chilled apple juice. It was then that a thought came to me. "Wait a second. I don’t think I ever asked, but... why do we have pigs in the first place?"

She giggled softly. "We buy piglets, raise 'em into fully grown pigs and then send them ta the Gryphon Kingdoms."

"The Gryphon Lands? Why?" I asked. AJ smiled at me but said nothing. "Come on. Why do... no..." It just couldn’t be possible. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"I never lie." She answered with a wink. I rushed over to the nearby cabinet and started rummaging, causing Applejack to look at me blankly. "John? What are ya doin’?"

"I just need to find... A-HA!" I pulled out a booklet and held it triumphantly. "I knew this was in here!"

"Why do you need that?" AJ asked.

I quickly rushed through the pages, just hoping that what I was looking for was there.

"It’s a holiday brochure." I replied. "And I could swear that I saw an advert for the Gryphon Kingdoms in it..."

Author's Note

GREATODYER'S RANDOM THINGS: Bacon, John and Refridgerator.

GREATODYER'S AUTHOR'S NOTE: That random noun generator gave me some good choices but those three words were just perfect. The first thing that came to mind was I bet these humans miss bacon in Equestria. I wonder if they can go crazy about it... I kind of imagined myself without bacon so that’s where the sheer mentalness of this came from. xD

Thanks to FrostRancher for the tree picture! :rainbowkiss:

And before you ask, yes. It's real.

Ikemtz16: One Wild Night

ONE WILD NIGHT

By Ikemtz16

Just outside of Canterlot castle on a warm summer night, Princess Twilight was strolling with her human husband, Prince Geo. The flowers in the royal garden relaxed the two after a hard day of Equestrian politics.

"Wow," Twilight sighed. "It's such a beautiful night. Isn't it Geo?"

Geo took a deep breath.

"That it is, honey." He replied, admiring the moment.

"So how are you liking being a prince?" Twilight chimed.

Geo responded with a shrug. "I can't complain that I'm royalty." He looked at Twilight. "But all and all, I just like to be closer to you."

Twilight giggled.

The royal duo continued to relax in the gardens as Luna's moon shone brightly above them. Although, for some reason, Geo could not help but feel like they were being followed. Every now and then, he would receive a chilling sensation up his spine. He darted his eyes around, but all he saw were the flower bushes.

He leaned towards his alicorn spouse.

"Hey, Twilight?" he asked.

She turned towards him.

"Have you ever got the feeling that you were being watched?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow in question.

"Why?" She queried with concern. "Are you feeling all right?"

Geo took another look at his surroundings before shaking his head.

"Yeah, I'm fine." he replied with a sigh. "I guess I'm just a little shifty tonight."

Twilight nuzzled his hand.

"Don't worry," she soothed. "just enjoy the night while you can. You've been having a rough day, so your probably just tired."

"True." He then yawned. "I suppose we should turn in. We have a lot of matters to attend to tomorrow."

Twilight happily agreed with a nod.

But once they begin to depart the gardens, they froze in place upon hearing an evil laugh quietly sounding off behind them.

They turn around.

"Even in another universe humans can be so naïve," a man's voice said within a shadow of a tree. He emerged from the darkness to present himself. Geo was very much astonished by what his eyes were met with — A pale looking human dressed in a black trench coat. His hair was grey and depressing with small streaks of black. The royal couple were even more horrified by the red eyes that resembled blood as they stared depravedly at them.

"W-who are you?" Twilight said in utter shock.

The man replied with another sinister chuckle.

"It would seem you horses have never seen a fellow like me," he said. "But I'm sure this gentleman would know."

His cold eyes were met with Geo's. Although Geo was very much terrified by this strange man's presence, he still kept his distance. He coughed slightly.

"I do know that you're a human." He scrutinized the man for a second. "A very... pale human at that."

"Wonderfully deduced, your Highness," the man said sarcastically. "But you were still very close."

Twilight's face was adorned with a look of hesitant curiosity.

"Does your kind not recognize a vampire when they see one?" Those words clicked in Geo's brain, and he groaned. It should have seemed obvious to him in the first place, what with the eyes.

Geo put his hand in front of Twilight, signalling her to get behind him. Both of their hearts shot into their throats.

"What do you want?" Geo said sternly, his gaze locked with that of the monster.

"What every Romanian demon wants," The vampire gave an evil grin. "Blood."

It was a completely unexpected turn of events when the vampire hissed, exposing the gigantic razors in his mouth.

"Oh no you don't!" Twilight shouted and cast a spell from her horn.

It streaked towards the vampire, only to be deflected by its claws.

"Well, isn't this a lovely new feature?" he said with a sly smile. "But you should know that magic is useless against the undead."

Suddenly, he zoomed past Twilight, smacking her hard against the face to knock her to the ground. He then rushed toward Geo and grabbed his head.

"Now it's my turn." the vampire snarled as he threw Geo with immense strength across the castle gardens.

Geo's fall soon ended when he crashed through one of the windows. The glass shattered into a human shaped silhouette, followed by a painful grunt as he landed on the floor. He stood up, thinking that it was a miracle he was not hurt.

"Guards!" Geo yelled. Two royal guards soon appeared nearby.

"What happened?!" one of them exclaimed.

The human pointed a weary finger at the creature landing ahead of him. The guards gasped and immediately took a defensive position in front of their prince.

"Halt!" one of them barked. "You take another step and—"

"Oh hush now." the vampire interrupted, attacking the protectors with his superior strength and speed. They stood no chance against the beast. Geo witnessed his guards being thrown at the wall, leaving them disoriented and useless to fight.

"Now then." He turned to Geo. "It is time for my meal."

He walked towards his target. Geo was cornered within the room. Even if he were to escape, this blood-thirsty freak would just gain the upper hand either way. At the exact moment, Twilight barged through the doors to witness the vampire lurking on his prey.

"GEO!" she shouted with tears bursting from her eyes.

The human figured that this might be the end, despite his other grim encounters with Death's cold grip. He figured that now was the time to face his ending. Tears also rolled down his cheeks as he took a final glance at his beloved wife.

But as though Fate was not ready for him, the creature was abruptly shot by what Geo thought to be a bolt of lightning. The vampire fell to the ground, allowing Geo to run to his beloved.

"Are you okay, Twi?" Geo asked with great concern.

"I'm fine," Twilight replied breathless by what she just witnessed. "But what about you? Are you okay?"

"I'm sore as hell from that throw." he said, almost groaning from his fall. "But I'll live."

Their moment of relief was far from over, as the vampire got back to his feet. The source of the blast was from some sort of electric pistol in the grip of another human, who was accompanied by another three. Geo was surprised to come in contact with more humans, but what made them draw his attention the most, was that they were cowboys.

The one who shot the vampire was a slender-looking man. He was wearing glasses, a black cowboy hat, and back suspenders over a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

"You've come a long way from home." the man said with a western accent. "But it's time to call it quits!"

"John Everett." the vampire hissed. "How quaint it is to see you again. And how wonderful to feast on four more mortals."

John looked over to a cowboy beside him.

"Bobby." John said plainly. A man with jet black spiky hair nodded with a smug and pulled out a sound shotgun. He fired a booming sound at the vampire, who dodged it by jumping high into the air and latching onto the rafters of the room. Bobby kept shooting at the creature as it continuously avoided his attacks.

"Vince, bring him down!" John shouted to a chubby-looking Mexican man wearing a sombrero.

He nodded at his commander's order and lurched forward with a strange metallic crossbow. He drew a thick tube from his quiver and loaded the whole thing into the weapon. With a pull of the trigger, the crossbowman fired arrows at a machine gun-like rate of fire.

But just like Bobby, the vampire evaded the arrows, until one finally pierced him in the shoulder, resulting in an ear-splitting shriek.

In an infuriated frenzy, the vampire flew towards Vince with his jaws open wider than normal. At the last minute before the marksman was his dinner, the vampire's face was met with the hard surface of an iron fist. A buff looking man with pink skin and a Mexican poncho, punched the monster with big metal gloves, sending him flying away from his trajectory.

Every failed attempt to drain the blood from their corpses made him roar with fury. Enough was enough and he used every ounce of his powers to fly towards the leader of this group. John was not expecting such a fast approach and paid the price for not reacting fast enough.

The vampire delivered a barrage of sharp claws to John's face. He then finally threw him across the room, into a wall display of spears. He groaned in agony.

"Since you seem to matter so much to your fellow comrades..." the vampire snarled. "You will die first!"

"John! NOO!!" Bobby shouted.

John lay on his stomach as the vampire closed the distance with his mouth watering for his blood. But a window of opportunity came to John. A loose spear from the wall display, laying unattended about three inches beyond his reach.

He grabbed it right at the moment the vampire threw himself towards him. Everyone in the room heard a sickly stabbing sound.

The vampire gasped. He was frozen in place with the spear deep in his chest.

"No," John said. "Ah suggest that you die first."

He turned the spear counter-clockwise, digging the the spear deeper into the vampire's heart. It let out another roar, then exploded in a black cloud of smoke.

The whole room became deathly silent.

"Way to go, John!" the pink man exclaimed.

John lifted himself from the ground. "Thanks, Rufus." He smiled.

All the cowboys that apprehended the beat, looked over to the winged unicorn and human. Their jaws dropped at the sight that they just met. John approached the two with a neutral expression.

"Sorry fer all that, folks." John responded. "We were tryin' ta git this freak back home, but Ah guess he used the amulet to teleport to yer world."

He looked over to the shattered window where a shining medal hung on the damaged frame. He walked over and grabbed it.

"And it looks like we have it now." he continued as he examined the golden medallion in his hand.

Back at the interspecies couple, Twilight spoke up.

"You mean that uses magic?" she stammered.

"Yes, ma'am." John replied as he went over to the Hispanic gentleman. "Vince! Take a look at this and try getting us home."

"Si, señor." Vince nodded.

He then spoke in Spanish to cast the spell which would allow them to teleport. While he was translating Geo walked over to John, still awe struck by their heroic act.

"I-I don't know what to say." Geo said. "You saved our lives. Thank you, all of you."

He held out his hand in a friendly gesture.

"Not a problem, pardner." John smiled as he shook Geo's hand. "Just doing mah job."

"Señor! We're ready." All faces turned to the amulet in Vince's hands. It glowed brightly, charged for another universal leap.

"Wild West Tech!" John barked. "Let's go home."

Before the guys circled around the amulet, Geo halted them.

"Wait!" he exclaimed. "What are your names?"

John looked at the human for a silent second before responding with his answer.

"Mah name's John Everett," he replied.

"This is Bobby 'Blackjack'," He pointed to the black-haired man.

"Rufus Wells," then the buff brute.

"And Vince Gonzales." Finally the Mexican sharpshooter. "We're the Wild West Tech gang. And you have yerself a good night."

The amulet grew brighter and brighter, until the whole room was engulfed in light. Twilight and Geo had to cover their eyes. Once the light show ended, there was no other human in the room.

They exchanged each other looks of confusion, with nothing to say, when suddenly Princess Celestia rushed into the room with Princess Luna in tow.

"What happened here?" Celestia asked when she saw glass everywhere, and two of her royal guards unconscious.

Twilight looked at Celestia and flashed a grin at her.

"Princess Celestia!" She exclaimed brightly. "You'll never believe what just happened."

As Princess Twilight explained what had just occurred over their absence, Geo looked at the spot where the gang once stood. It did boggle him as to why these cowboys were here in the first place, but he just decided to dismiss the thought. But what bothered him the most was the thought of ending up in another predicament like that one. Sure the vampire was just a lucky break, but what if something far more worse than that were to kill him?

"... And that's when you got here." Twilight finished her story.

"My goodness, Twilight," Celestia responded quite bewildered. "That must've been horrible."

"It was, until those other humans saved us." Twilight smiled. Her husband then approached them, making her smile even wider.

"Geo!" she chimed as she hugged him tightly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He replied. "But can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

Geo let out a sigh and paused.

"I just want to say I love you." he eventually said.

"I love you too, but we already know that." Twilight giggled.

"I know, it's just that..." Geo looked uneasy for a moment as he floundered for the right words. "When that vampire was about to... you know... make a meal out of me. I thought about what would've happened if that actually occurred."

Twilight began to frown.

"And if I die... " He started to tear up slightly. "... I might not see you again."

The other two princess watched as Twilight nuzzled Geo's face with every ounce of care. Geo knelt down to hug his wife.

"It won't come to that." she soothed over his shoulder.

Hearing her comforting voice made Geo perk up instantly.

"I'm just glad you're okay." he said.

They shared a kiss before looking at the princesses. Celestia was very touched to hear Geo's words, and to hear how much he cared about Twilight. She looked at Luna, who had the same smile as to what she was thinking.

"Well now that that's over..." Geo stood up. "How about we turn in for the night?"

Twilight smiled.

"Sound's like a good idea." Celestia replied with her own smile.

Everypony swapped goodbyes and dispersed.

"Oh, before we go to bed, Geo." Twilight implied. "Make sure to lock the door."

Geo chuckled. "After what we just encountered, I happily agree."

The two finally left the room and made of to bed. Happy that they still had each other, even if death were to tear them apart.

Author's Note

IKEMTZ16'S THINGS: Quiver, Romania, and Weapon.

IKEMTZ16'S AUTHOR'S NOTE: I got an idea with those three words: Vampire in the Geoverse. And with Geo's permission to add my own OC's, what better OC's to handle a bloodthirsty demon than my very own Wild West Tech gang?

Vetnern: To Change Is Human

TO CHANGE IS HUMAN

By Vetnern

Your story begins in the silent quarters of Ponyville hospital, where you are sitting by the side of your best friend Flare. The slow and steady beep from the heart-rate monitor echoes around the room and you know from the news the doctor told you a few moments prior that she is moments away from death.

Your life begins to take a turn as you quickly progress through various upcoming events.

You sit at home with your wife by your side. The silky smooth touch of her eggplant shade fur, gently caressing your skin with every breath she took. You are watching with fingers crossed as all five of your numbers get drawn on the Equestrian Lottery. You stand up in the middle of the room and cry with joy, you cannot believe what you have just witnessed, the loud noise wakes your wife from her peaceful slumber. You immediately tell her the wonderful news and share a quiet moment together, just holding each other close.

A few weeks pass by idly, you no longer have the need to work because you have so much money. You have been drinking more and more ever since you won the lottery, but you deserve a break from all you’ve done. So for now, cherish this glorious alcohol.

***

Two months have passed on since you won the lottery, you have struck a need to satisfy yourself with gambling. But don’t worry, you have more than enough money to enjoy yourself. Just try not to take things too far out there.

You realise that alcohol and gambling just isn’t cutting for you, so you decide to dive into the world of drugs and narcotics to fuel your hunger. You have been away from home for a few days, your wife must be getting worried about you. Don’t let your family get in the way of life, you have to get out there and enjoy yourself.

After returning home your wife questions where you have been, you tell her that you don’t want to talk right now and head straight to bed for a good nights rest. She enters the room and begins to raise her tone of voice at you, but you don’t like this very much. You raise your fist in the air and strike her across the face, she turns to you with tears in her eyes and tells you she’s taking the foals to a friends house.

You couldn’t just let this happen, but you feel powerful now. All the fun you had has finally took it’s toll. You tell her you are sorry and that you’ll drive her to her friends house. She accepts and no sooner than later, you are driving toward Manehattan. Something is wrong though, your wife keeps telling you to slow down. Are you driving too fast?

You are kneeling on the roadside, staring down at the wreckage below. You hear the screams of your young foals as the fire tears away at their flesh.

What have you done?

***

You burst through the door of your home, screaming in pain. But this is not physical pain, this is something more isn’t it?

You are broken, the things you have done and the loss of everyone you loved has emotionally destroyed you. There is nothing left now but to end your own life, is this really what you have become?

You tie the rope making sure it’s tight, there is no more room for mistakes. As you climb onto the chair you begin to feel that churn of regret in your stomach, it painfully tears away as you lower the rope over your head and secure it firmly around your neck. You close your eyes and push, no need to struggle, you just accept it. The room around you is fading, turning to black. Your only wish is that you could erase all the bad things you have done ever since you won the lottery.

***

You hear a faint noise gradually getting louder, almost as if something was coming closer. You open your eyes and find yourself in your own home, your foals in bed and your wife laying on you, asleep. You look up to the tv and see the lottery results coming out one by one, sure enough they all match the ones on the ticket.

You think to yourself for a moment, about all the pain and suffering you went through. You pull out your lighter and ignite the lottery ticket, the gentle heat from the flame warming your face. Your wife wakes from her slumber and asks if you won. You look at her with a smile and kiss her on the head, pulling her close.

“I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done,” you whisper, the feeling of being reunited with the love of your life fills you with joy, a single tear trickling down your face. But are you a changed man?

You know not why you had been given this opportunity to redeem yourself from the mistakes you made, to come back healthy from the monster you created. The experience of losing those you are closest to can invade even the strongest of minds, the purest of hearts. But there is no need to stoop to a level of such chaos. Anybody can change who they are, you just have to be prepared for the changes that lay ahead.

Everybody who has done wrong, no matter how bad they did it... They deserve a second chance.

Author's Note

VETNERN'S THINGS: Eggplant, Flare and Witness.

VETNERN'S AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do believe I was eating popcorn when I wrote this, although I don’t think that's what you wanted to know. The simple idea behind this story came from an experiment I wanted to do, to see if anyone would be emotionally affected by the story I wrote. It took me just one try to get my three words, and I stuck with them because ‘Flare’ is the name of my OC.

MOAKStryker: Twilight's Tree Troubles

TWILIGHT'S TREE TROUBLES

By MOAKStryker (AKA Advisor The Accursed One)

The time was 8:00 in the morning and Twilight Sparkle’s alarm clock went off, much like it did every morning. She gently kissed her husband, who was lying next to her, and got out of her bed before she walked down the stairs to the main floor of the Golden Oaks Library. She went to the kitchen — where Spike was cooking them a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs, hay bacon, and toast. Twilight looked around for a moment and sat down.

After Spike brought the food out to the table, he saw Twilight with a hoof upon her chin. “What are you thinking about, Twi?” he asked.

“Oh nothing much, I just wanted to expand the library.” Twilight answered. “We have tons of boxes of books in the basement that there’s no room for in the main library. So how about, after breakfast, you and I go and get a sapling?”

“I guess so.” Spike replied. “But what about Geo?”

“What about me?”

Twilight and Spike turned in their seats, the latter balking at the sight of a bleary-eyed man wearing nothing but a pair of boxers while Twilight giggled and blushed. Geo sat down at the table with the two and yawned.

“Morning, folks.” He said as he helped himself to some of Twilight’s toast. “Now what were you saying about me?”

“We weren’t saying anything about you.” Twilight said. “I was merely suggesting to Spike that we go and buy a sapling which will eventually grow into a tree we can use to expand the library, since I’m sure you’ve noticed how cramped it is.”

“I don’t take up that much space, Twi.” Geo chuckled before kicking out at one of the many boxes of books littering the floor. “But yeah... I see what you mean. I guess I’ve got to accompany you both on this journey?”

“Not if you don’t want to.” Twilight replied. “Spike and I are more than capable of—”

“Oh thank Celestia, I’m saved!” Geo cheered. “I’m going back to bed. Have fun on your tree hunt, and I’ll see you both later.”

With those words he left the kitchen, still chewing on a piece of pilfered toast, and ascended the stairs to the bedroom. There was a creak, and then silence fell. Spike and Twilight looked at each other and shrugged, resuming their own meals.

***

After their somewhat hasty meal Twilight and Spike headed off to the Ponyville train station and bought two tickets to Canterlot, where the magic sapling store was. On the train ride there, they brainstormed about what kind of tree to buy, using a catalogue as a guide.

“Ooh! How about we buy a redwood! It’s a HUGE tree, and we could fit the whole library into it!” Twilight suggested. “... oh, nevermind. Look at the cost, we’d never be able to afford fifteen thousand bits, not to mention the extra land needed...”

“Yeah, maybe not. How about we get another oak? You know it’s a good tree, and... Wait, you have more than enough books in the basement to fill up about two more oaks...”

The pair kept discussing types of trees, when Spike said, “Twilight, how about we buy a sy...”

“NO!” Twilight interjected.

“Why, though? They’re cheap and grow taller than oaks!” Spike tried to reason with Twilight, but to no avail.

“Because they’re ugly. Rarity would blow a fuse if I bought something like that,” Twilight explained. “Besides, the bark seems to peel off a lot. It might be structurally unsound.”

“Then how about a birch? Functional, stylish, and safe.” Spike took a final guess.

“It’s settled, then. We’ll buy a birch.” Twilight was glad to finally decide what type of tree to buy.

Once they got to Canterlot, the duo made their way to the tree store which was, of course, inside a tree as an advertisement. But to Twilight’s surprise, said tree was a sycamore.

The shopkeeper walked behind the counter of his tree-house-shop and greeted Twilight and Spike when they entered the building with the chime of a small bell attached to the doorframe. “Hello, what can I do for ya?” he asked with a slight hint of a Canterlot accent.

Twilight was quick to reply, “Do you have any saplings? Preferably a birch sapling?”

The shopkeeper told the others to hold on, then went in the back room of his store to look for a birch sapling, as requested. The only kind of tree he had in stock, though, was a sycamore. He telekinetically grabbed a sapling, then headed back to the front counter and said, “Sorry, but I don’t have any birches in stock anymore. Somepony bought the last one about an hour ago. I do have this sapling, though. It looks like it’s unsafe, but it’s the same is this tree. It’s held up in some pretty bad storms, has a lot of room, and is actually kind of cool-looking.” The shopkeeper seemed to have read Twilight’s mind.

Twilight was struck with confusion. All this time, she had thought sycamores were the worst possible thing, yet they seemed to be somewhat better than her oak tree-library-house. She inwardly admitted her mistake, then bought the sapling and started heading back to Ponyville.

After Twilight arrived back at her hometown, she went straight to the town hall. She asked for a building permit, and had to wait five hours in a line headed by the slowest pony at signing things in existence — Diamond Tiara.

“Diamond Tiara? What under Celestia’s Sun are you doing working here? I thought you would work in management if you worked anywhere, not be giving out permits! Oh, and I’d like a building permit, please. I’m planning on expanding my library.” Twilight was taken aback by the seemingly random appearance of the pink, and quite bossy, filly.

“Miss Sparkle, I’m here because my daddy has lost his mind and told me to go earn my own money for my things for once. And so, here I am, handing out permits. Your information checks out, now sign here, here, and here. And initial here,” Diamond replied in a flat tone, pointing at each line that she indicated.

Twilight signed her name and initials as indicated, grabbed the permit, and thanked Tiara. After she got home, she planted her tree, poured some water on it, then waited. And waited. And waited.

***

Five weeks later, after Twilight finally moved all her books into the now fully grown tree, Rarity came over. “Hello, Twilight. Hello, Spike. How are you to... OH MY SUN!! Where did you get that tree? It must have cost a fortune!” She was obviously surprised at her friend’s new purchase, and showed it.

Twilight simply put a hoof behind her neck and said, “Yeah, about that... I had thought you would hate that kind of tree. I know I did at first.”

To which Rarity replied, “Hate it? I love it, darling! Did you know my boutique is made of sycamore wood? It’s obviously the best kind of wood ever!”

And Twilight was struck dumb right then. She was surprised that Rarity loved sycamores, and felt extremely stupid. “Spike, take a letter,” she said, reciting her catchphrase.

Dear Princess Celestia,

A few weeks ago, I needed to expand my library, as it was filled with too many books. So I had went to a store in Canterlot, intending to buy a magical birch sapling to complement my oak tree house. To my surprise, I found that the only tree in stock was a sycamore, which I hated at first, and imagined everypony else would as well. Now, after a few days of having the tree, even during a scheduled storm, I found that it was a good decision, and all my neighbors like it too! It may be a little ugly, but it’s functional! So, on to the lesson I learned: Not choosing something that might be perfectly functional, yet dreadfully tacky, because of its appearance is a bad thing. This can translate to real-world interactions, as well. Never judge a pony by his or her looks, because they might be the nicest pony you’ve ever met!

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

Author's Note

MOAKSTRYKER'S THINGS: Breakfast, Expansion, and Sycamore.

MOAKSTRYKER'S AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah, random things. Thanks to my friends for moral support, and all that. I chose the words suggested on the third roll of the generator: Note that I personally like birch trees, because birch beer is GOOD (Which is why I made Twilight and Spike agree on a birch)! Various things kept me from working on this, so sorry for it not being done when the collab was posted. That is all. Oh, and these facts may be wrong, but I don’t care.