Absolute Disaster
My Little Pony: Foalsitting Your Friends is Magic
By: carnivale
: : : :
Rainbow Dash guffawed loudly, clutching her aching ribs as tears of laughter cascaded down her face. Her double chocolate-swirl cupcake was left abandoned on the table, crumbs flying everywhere from Dash’s mouth as she struggled to contain herself. The delicate pastels of Sugarcube Corner gave the ponies surrounded within the sense of happiness and luxury, the sweet smells of fresh-baked pastries and goods wafting throughout the café. The scents soothed the five ponies conversed around a single table in the middle of the room as they discussed just about anything that crossed their minds. Applejack beamed proudly at the three other ponies who were howling significantly along with the cyan pegasus, sipping her hot chocolate with sheer satisfaction.
“’Ho boy, Applejack! That was gold!” Dash managed to choke out between fits. “N-now tell them all about the horseshoe incident with Mac!”
“A horseshoe incident with Big Macintosh?” Rarity said, placing her elbows on the table and her chin between her hooves. She fluttered her long, black eyelashes, suddenly very interested. “This I need to hear.”
“No no no!” Pinkie Pie butted in after downing another chocolate chip cookie and several swigs of her frothing hot chocolate. “What you need to hear is about the time I accidentally chewed twenty pieces of bubblegum, blew a bubble, and got Fluttershy and I stuck together for the rest of the day until Twilight cut us out!”
Fluttershy turned a deep shade of red, so red a tomato would be jealous. “Angel Bunny had to help me brush out the rest of the gum for weeks,” she murmured demurely as she hid behind a curtain of rosy hair. Pinkie slapped her heartily on the back, causing her to spit out an uncanny amount of frosting across the room.
Rainbow Dash roared with laughter, twin rivulets of tears continuing to leak from her eyes. She slammed her hoof against the table countless times, winning the attention of a few of the customers and causing the items splayed out on the surface to shudder. “That sounds interesting, but Applejack’s story is sure to make your sides ache for the rest of the day!”
Applejack cleared her throat, holding up her hooves for silence to reign. She forced herself to stay calm, but the cackles issuing from Dash didn’t help, and light chuckles spilled out of her mouth. “O-okay, so, I was playin’ a good ol’ game of horseshoes because my work was done, and Mac was – “
The bell above Sugarcube Corner’s door tingled rather boisterously, causing the farm pony’s attention to shift to the sound. The rest of the ponies gathered around the table followed her gaze, and what they witnessed made them all gasp in horror.
Twilight Sparkle stood in the threshold, looking as though she’s been hit with a big bucket of ick. Also a big bucket of what-is-that-smell and lo-and-behold-it's-a-sick-unicorn. Rarity cringed. The poor dear looked absolutely terrible. Her eyes were rimmed red and black, and goop seeped from the corners of her bloodshot sclera. Her face was unusually pale, and she had at least two scarves wrapped a dozen times around her neck. Her horn seemed to sizzle and crackle, and a detestable smell radiated from the unfortunate unicorn. Twilight sniffled several times as she approached the table with such lethargy, her legs seeming to quake every time she took a step.
“Oh, dear,” Rarity breathed.
Fluttershy gasped, her mother-hen instincts seeming to peak. “Goodness! Are you okay, Twilight Sparkle?”
“Twilight!” Pinkie exclaimed, moving to throw her arms around the lavender unicorn. However, she swayed backwards when Twilight emitted a few hacking coughs, her eyebrows furrowing but her mouth still upturned in an unstable smile. “…How nice of you to join us!”
“We were wonderin’ what kept ya, Sugarcube,” said Applejack. “I was about to tell my story about Mac and the horseshoe!”
“And you arrived just in time, Twi!” Rainbow Dash chortled. “It’s worth a listen.”
Twilight gazed at everyone with disconcerted, puffy eyes. She levitated a tissue out of a fold in her scarf and blew her nose into it. Rarity flinched and mumbled something about “being ladylike at the table” with an averted glare.
“I’m sorry everypony, but I really can’t stay,” Twilight droned apologetically, her voice sounding as clogged as a toilet. “I’m afraid I’ve come down with some sort of cold, if you haven’t already noticed,” she added under her breath.
“Oh, we’ve noticed, Sugarcube,” Applejack said, playing a smile and trying to sound as polite as possible.
“And, well, I really think I should go back home and rest,” the lavender unicorn said, ignoring Applejack completely. “I’ll make sure to catch up with you all once this sickness passes.”
Twilight pivoted on her hooves to leave, but a certain pink pony halted her in her tracks. “Aw, come on, Twilight! Can’t you stay for one little cupcake first?”
Her eyes met Pinkie’s, and they were filled with such hope and glimmered mesmerizingly in their sockets, that Twilight couldn’t possibly say no. She sighed internally, nodded, and took a seat between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie pushed a beautifully-iced cupcake in front of her, the enticing decorations looking immensely delicious.
“Thanks, Pinkie,” Twilight said. Suddenly, her face scrunched up, and she gasped for air.
“She’s gonna sneeze,” Rainbow Dash announced dully.
“Duck for cover!” Pinkie Pie squealed, huddling to the floor dramatically.
Twilight sucked in a breath of air, her eyes screwing closed, and sneezed.
As she did, however, her horn was suddenly illuminated and a spew of smoke shot from it, settling like dust onto the table. When it finally dissipated, the ponies around the table looked dumbfounded. The pastel cupcake that Pinkie Pie had shoved in front of Twilight moments before was no longer present; instead, a rubber duck toy filled its place.
“Huh?” Rainbow Dash said, voicing everypony’s bafflement. She nudged the toy, flinching back immediately when it gave a tiny squeak.
“Oh, yeah,” Twilight maundered, a deep pink hue crossing her pallid cheeks. “Also, it seems that everytime I sneeze, strange magic surges come and turn anything in my path into something completely different.”
Rainbow Dash elevated an eyebrow, her body slouched against the back of the chair. “Girl, you don’t just have a sickness,” she said. “You have a problem!”
Rarity stomped on her hoof, causing a faint ow to issue from the cyan pegasus. She turned to face Twilight, a knowing smile crossing her lips as she placed a tender hoof on hers, only to slowly pull away, the grin fading slightly but still evident on her face. She brushed it against her chest melodramatically. “It’ll be alright, Twilight, darling. I’m sure you found something in your books to cure what ails you, correct?”
Twilight sighed, shaking her head. “No, I was too tired to look through my library, so I had Spike do it for me. But I don’t think he found anything yet.” Then, she added inaudibly, “Plus, it was hard to look because I kept turning my books into cardboard boxes.” She sighed again.
Rarity’s mouth made the clear shape of an O and she settled back into her seat, levitating her now-lukewarm cup of tea to her lips. The table was now quiet, nopony uttering a word. That is, until Applejack shattered the silence.
“I think she’s gonna sneeze again, y’all.” She pressed her hat firmer down on her head to exaggerate the fact.
Pinkie Pie, who was still curled up under the table, called, “Don’t worry guys, I’m prepared!”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “We didn’t ask you!” she yelled, poking her nose under the surface.
“It’s gonna be a big one.”
“Huh?”
“She’s gonna – “
And a big one, it was. Water brimmed in the tear canals of Twilight’s eyes as her face wrinkled up once again. Her mouth gaped, her chest puffed out, and she leaned back in her chair as she was about to release the biggest explosion of a sneeze she could ever muster.
A-A-ACHOOOO!
Magenta smoke engulfed the group of six ponies, dispersing around the entire room, causing most of the café-goers to glance over in befuddlement or irritation. Shrieks and coughs issued from the wall of magic tendrils, and then all was silent.
The six ponies felt themselves black out instantly.
: : : :
Pinkie groaned, rolling over onto her side. She felt the same way as she did when she hosted that enormous cupcake fight a week ago, getting about a thousand cupcakes launched at her at once. Her eyelids felt as heavy as cement blocks, and it was a struggle to open them up. But when she did, she was met with a rather query surprise.
Sugarcube Corner was now empty, no customer milling about in sheer sight. A few tables were upturned and chairs tipped over, as if some ponies had to exit the shop in a hurry. There was the occasional icing smear on the wall, and a few whole cupcakes where stuck to the wall like glue.
Pinkie narrowed her cerulean eyes, taking in the entire shop, her expression a mixture of bewilderment and sheer flabbergast. She sat on her haunches, rubbing the skin behind her ears, still feeling a little drowsy.
“Eughh,” she moaned, “what happened in here?” Then, she sat up straighter, her jaw lowering in disappointment and her eyebrows upturning. “Did they have another cupcake fight and forget to invite me?”
When her quip was met with silence, she heaved her shoulders and sighed, figuring she should clean up the mess to make a good impression on the Cakes when they got back from Manehattan, filling a rather large order for an expensive dinner party. Pinkie was about to rise to her hooves to grab a mop and broom, when unexpectedly, she felt something tug at her ear.
A low babble was heard next, followed by a giggle, and Pinkie tried to place the sound, realizing it had come from behind her. Her head swivelled around to locate the source of the noises, and her eyes and jaw gaped.
There, sitting on the floor, five tiny ponies resembling her friends lay cowering, their mouths downturned in pouts, save for the one that looked like Applejack, who seemed to be enjoying herself chewing on Pinkie’s cotton-candy like tail. They all gazed up at her with huge, glimmering eyes swimming with curiosity and marvel. A tiny Fluttershy hugged a tiny Rainbow Dash tightly.
“Sweet mother of Celestia’s child!” Pinkie exclaimed, leaping to her hooves, still staring down upon the five little foals in perplexity. “What happened to all of you?!”
Obviously, no answer formed as Applejack found herself bored with Pinkie Pie’s tail and began to chew on Rainbow Dash’s hoof instead. Luckily, she bore no teeth, so it didn’t hurt Dash. However, the miniscule pegasus crossed her hooves all the same, seething and glaring daggers at Applejack. Pinkie Pie never thought Rainbow Dash would look so adorable as an angry child.
Just then, Twilight stood on her hooves, looking up at Pinkie Pie with apologetic eyes. The party pony wondered why she seemed so embarrassed, when something entirely astonishing happened.
“Oh, gosh, Pinkie,” Twilight spoke. But the scariest part was that it was her actual voice, no squeaky, foal sounds spilling out, and it was weird because they were coming out of a child’s mouth. But, on the other hand, it seemed that her cold was gone for some unknown reason. “I’m sorry, it seems that when I sneezed, a rather large magic surge backfired and, well, it may or may not have caused… this.”
Pinkie nearly shot up to the roof in shock. “Twilight, you can talk? But how?”
“I’m not technically sure. I think it’s because the surge was initially aimed at everypony else, but it seemed that a bit has hit me as well, but not able to directly manipulate me into a full foal. I’m still befuddled myself; this has definitely taken a turn for the worst.”
Twilight’s words sunk into Pinkie’s brain, and her expression shifted into clear panic. “Well, what do I do? Twilight, can’t you turn everypony back?”
The tiny lavender unicorn looked sheepishly down at her hooves, averting Pinkie’s eyes. “See, that’s the problem…” she said in a low voice. “Since I’m a foal, my magic can’t work as well as it used to. Also, I’m not sure if I’ve – ow, Rarity, my foot – studied spells of transfiguration as advanced as this. We’re knee deep in baby poop, here.”
Pinkie Pie sighed and slumped to the ground, her mind blanking as she struggled to figure out what to do about this slight mishap. Her thoughts were cut short when a deafening crash sounded somewhere within the kitchen, and her gaze snapped towards the direction of the sound.
“Uh, oh,” Twilight and Pinkie mumbled simultaneously.
Pinkie dashed to the kitchen and threw open the door, only to shrink back when another clatter rung throughout the room. It seemed that mischievous Rainbow Dash had found a way into the room, and was anxiously fluttering her miniscule wings to try and reach a batch of cupcakes laying nonchalantly on the kitchen counter. Her hoof caught on another silver pan and it crashed to the floor, however, the tiny pegasus still had her eyebrows furrowed in determination. Moments later, a bag of flour plunged to the floor and exploded everywhere, covering everything in its range of fire in white powder.
“Oh no! The Cakes will be here in a few hours!” Pinkie suddenly realized. She moaned and looked over at Twilight for assistance. “What do I do?”
“Looks like your responsibility as the Cakes’ preferred foalsitter has peaked again, Pinkie Pie,” Twilight told her earnestly.
It’s a relief the Cakes took Pumpkin and Pound with them to Manehattan this time, Pinkie thought with relish. She brought herself back to the catastrophe in front of her, her face shifting into a new expression of confidence. If they were here, they'd be counting on me!
She sauntered right up to the cerulean filly and forced her to look her in the eyes. “Miss Rainbow Dash, this is a kitchen, not a playground. It is used for cooking and eating – although used for the occasional cupcake fight – but not for playing. So please stop and find something else to do right now,” she finished firmly.
For a second, Pinkie was determined Dash would give in, but unfortunately, it was apparent the filly would have none of it. She giggled and went back to tearing the kitchen to pieces.
The pink pony cursed herself for not thinking ahead that Dash was brasher than that. An irate hoof slid down her face as she tried to contemplate the best thing to do right now.
A boisterous, shrill cry tore through the shop, and Twilight cringed from the door of the kitchen. “Uh, Pinkie Pie…?”
The aforementioned launched herself out of the kitchen, locating the point of Twilight’s distress. She spotted Fluttershy sobbing in the corner, Applejack and Rarity fiddling with her mane and tail on either side of her. Pinkie approached them. She kneeled in front of the crying Fluttershy, giving her a look of sentiment. “Does somepony need a cupcake?”
The teensy butter-yellow pony gave her a blank look, then launched into a new fit of blubbering. She wiped her eyes and sniffled before thrusting a hoof at the two assailants beside her. “Th-they kicked me! They kicked m-e-eeeee!”
Apparently, they all can talk, save for they don’t have their adult-pony brains like Twilight, and they look like two-year-old versions of themselves. Pinkie shot glances at Applejack and Rarity, feigning anger. The two foals stopped what they were doing, but didn’t seem intimidated or anything of the sort.
“Did you two kick young Fluttershy here?” she inquired, narrowing her eyes. The two nodded immediately. Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “And do you know what we do to fillies who kick other fillies?”
The two ponies shrugged, clearly dumbfounded. Pinkie scooped them up in her hooves and set them down in the corner, mentally labelled Time-Outs.
: : : :
“So what don’t we do?”
“Kick ponies,” Rarity droned. Applejack nodded apologetically. “Can we come out now?”
“Not until you apologize to Fluttershy,” Pinkie said, motioning to foal Fluttershy, who stood beside her, rubbing her teary eyes with a small hoof.
“Sorry Fluttershy,” Applejack and Rarity said shamefully in unison.
“It’s ‘kay,” Fluttershy squeaked.
“That’s better!” Pinkie said, sighing in relief. She wiped her brow. “See, Pinkie? This foalsitting your friends business isn’t so – ughewww!”
A sudden, revolting stench hit her right in the nose, and she was forced to contain herself from gagging. It smelled exactly like –
“Uh, oh,” she mumbled.
Twilight waddled towards her, also pinching her own nostrils together. “You know how I said we’re knee deep in baby poop?” she reminisced. “I really did mean it literally.”
Pinkie Pie sighed heavily, dropping her shoulders and crawling laggardly towards the source of the repugnant scent. “Okie-dokie-lokie, which one of you cuppy-wuppy cakes needs me to changey-wangey their diaper-waiper right now?”
Her face bunched up even more as she advanced closer to the smell, tears beginning to leak from her eyes. When she was sure she hit the mark, she glanced down, and came face-to-face with a reeking Rainbow Dash, who was busying herself in throwing toy blocks at the whitewashed wall.
“Oh, so it’s – ughhhewww – you, Miss Dash!” Pinkie proclaimed, turning her head away from the stench. It didn’t help. “I suppose you want to take a ride on the Poo-Poo Train and get all nice and clean?”
She plastered on one of the biggest smiles she could ever muster before turning her head back around, but was met with a hard block in the face and a rainbow-blue blur whizzing out of sight. Pinkie lunged with her hooves to capture the mischievous pegasus, but all she managed to secure was empty air. She clapped a hoof over her face – wincing when she irritated the bruise forming there – and darted after Rainbow Dash.
The cyan filly wasn’t flying, but she managed to buzz her wings hard enough to lift at least a few inches off the ground. But, even she knew her strength wouldn’t fail her yet.
Pinkie was hot on her rainbow-colored tail. She giggled in delight, looking over her shoulder at the pink pony who was tripping over chairs and tables trying to grab the runaway foal. Even once her face landed in a slice of blueberry pie, which somepony had haphazardly left behind earlier. She licked it off with a sloppy, unusually long tongue and continued to give chase.
At that moment, Dash knew with her tiny brain that she probably couldn’t escape easily, so she gathered her adrenaline and fluttered her wings harder than before. Just as easily, she lifted into the air higher, and higher, and higher until she was nearly brushing the ceiling with the top of her coat.
“You will never got me!” she yelled in her raspy voice.
Pinkie Pie groaned, remembering the Pound Cake incident all over again. She grit her teeth before leaping onto one of the tables and launching herself towards the ceiling fan.
She attached herself to one of the spokes and hung there limply, uselessly reaching out with a hoof to drag in her prey. In which, the aforementioned hovered beside the fan, a mocking look on her face as she stuck out her tongue at the pink pony who rotated endlessly in the air.
Pinkie growled deep in her throat before taking careful aim and catapulting herself off of the fan, grappling for the air before falling to the forest of tables and chairs below. She felt herself take a bundle down with her as she crashed to the floor, but shielded her burden’s head before connecting with it. She lay flat on her back, Rainbow Dash squirming in her grasp.
“Gotcha!”
“No! No! You can never got me!”
“First of all, missy, it’s get, and second, I did, so it’s time to get all clean!”
Pinkie rose to her hooves and travelled into the back room, where she knew the Cakes stashed the spare diapers and baby powder.
“I’ve been foalnapped! I’ve been foalnapped!” Dash kept screaming all the way to the changing table.
Pinkie set Dash down, scolding her when she refused to be still. Eventually, it didn’t work, so she had to strap the foal down with the buckles secured to the table. Dash whimpered as the pink pony began undoing her diaper.
It wasn’t as hard as the last time she experienced having to do the same thing, since the twin weren’t strapped to a table or anything. Even though Dash’s stubby hooves kicked out of distress from time to time, it was surprisingly easy – if not gross.
Pinkie Pie finally finished, launching the dirty diaper into the garbage bin. It made an easy target, and Pinkie puffed out her chest in relief when it didn’t hit the floor and splatter – never mind.
She unbuckled Rainbow Dash and set her down on the ground, ushering her out of the room. The filly turned to her, however, with big, round magenta eyes. She buzzed her tiny wings out of irritation. “I’m hungry! Gimme some food!” she demanded.
“Hm, I suppose it is time for snackey time, huh?” wondered Pinkie.
: : : :
Once Pinkie Pie had all the young fillies strapped in their highchairs – save for three regular chairs with buckles; the Cakes only had two highchairs – she scanned the line of foals, asking each in turn what they wanted to eat.
“Okay, Miss Troublemaker,” Pinkie said to Dash. “What do you want for snack time?”
“Food!”
Pinkie narrowed her eyes. “Yes, I know, but what kind of food do you want?”
“Food! Food!” Rainbow Dash banged her hoof against the tray table, startling the young Fluttershy next to her.
Pinkie sighed. She figured the rest of them were going to say the same things too, so she pulled out a can of foal food and equally divided the stuff into five separate bowls. She handed the food to them, and they all tucked in ravenously. Except for Twilight, who raised a displeased eyebrow at the supplier.
“Oh, sorry, Twilight!” Pinkie apologized hurriedly, whisking the bowl away from the lavender unicorn and replacing it with a hearty bowl of cucumber and daisy salad. Twilight smiled pleasantly before ducking her head to start eating.
The pink pony grinned as well, letting the annoying sounds of ponies chewing fill her head. She slumped down in a chair, stomach grumbling. She pulled a cupcake out of nowhere and opened her mouth to take the first bite, but never got the chance because of a hoof-full of food landing right next to her mouth.
She spluttered and gagged as some trickled into the corners of her mouth, her cupcake long forgotten now. She glanced up to take in the first ever foal food fight she had ever witnessed, her eyes reaching the extent of a dinner plate.
Applejack began to squirm out of her seat, picking up a hoof-full of food and pelting it at Rainbow Dash. The other filly growled playfully and just chucked her entire bowl at the freckled foal, causing it to catch onto her face and coat it and her mane with the sticky stuff. Fluttershy had managed to escape her prison and was huddling fearfully in the corner, whimpering, Rarity planning on joining her. Twilight tried to reason with Applejack and Rainbow Dash, but her plans were discarded when food flew right into her open mouth.
Everywhere Pinkie tried to duck for cover, food catapulted after her. Eventually, she had to shut herself in one of the cupboards, and emerged donning a tin bowl as a helmet, wooden spoons as weapons, cheese graters as shin-pads, and a hefty bag of flour as a breastplate. Rope was wound tightly around her middle, and her face began to turn blue as she regretted tying it as tight as a farmer’s noose.
“Alright, fillies!” she bellowed. “Tonight, we dine in hell!” She raised a wooden spoon, as if flagging down for battle. Her announcement was met with yet another ball of food in her face.
She scraped it off, lowering her head. Augh, that was not how I planned that arrangement at all, she thought dejectedly. This is getting worser and worser! Apparently, she had picked up baby vocabulary skills while dealing with these little buggers.
…and it was about to get worse when a shrill scream followed by a long sob ricocheted off the walls, ringing in her ears and causing her thoughts to falter. She snapped her head up, eyes being greeted by a bawling Fluttershy with a mountain of food and a bowl sprouted atop her head. Rarity was – in the most unladylike fashion – licking the stuff off of the filly’s face, causing her to scream even more. The butter-yellow pegasus lashed out with uncontrolled hooves, smacking her friend in the face as she did so. Now two foals were crying.
Great.
Pinkie felt a headache coming on, but she decided to try and calm them down first. She rushed up to them and put on the biggest smile she could ever possibly muster.
The two foals shrunk back at the sudden closeness before launching into a new fit of crying.
Pinkie thought for a moment before sticking her tongue out and lolling it all about. “Hey guyth! Look ath me! Lelelelelel!”
Rarity looked much taken aback. She narrowed her eyes, raised her hind leg, and brought it down near Pinkie’s southern regions.
Pinkie yelped, falling onto her back. “OW OW OW FILLY PARTS OW, DEAR CELESTIA.” She was still, holding herself as she grit her teeth in pain. If this hurt that much for a mare, she couldn’t imagine how painful it must be for a stallion.
“Okay,” she whimpered, managing to sit up on her haunches again. Her voice was drowned out from the bothersome sounds of crying foals. “Now what.”
“Pinkie, help!” Twilight cried in distress. “They’re – OW Rainbow Dash, not cool! Please – MY HOOF OH DEAR LUNA!”
Rainbow Dash and Applejack were giggling uncontrollably, picking on and poking and prodding poor Twilight who was stuck in the middle; and it was too bad because Twilight was a tad smaller than them, even in foal form. She guarded her head from any more oncoming blows, even if most of them didn’t hurt, yet were as annoying as ever.
Pinkie moved to approach them, but got rewarded with yet another puddle of food in her face.
Where in Celestia’s name are they getting all this food from?!
She stumbled out of the kitchen, her headache raging out of control. The metal bowl on her head clinked with each step, and eventually, she fell onto one of the tables, fit for it to collapse underneath her weight. She heaved an enormous sigh and closed her eyes.
Why is it always me who has to get stuck foalsitting?! Foalsitting is no batch of cupcakes, lemme tell you!
After a few moments of resting her brain, she opened her eyes.
Spike stood in front of her, a bottle of Tylenol in his hand, his mouth gaping wide. He looked somewhat frazzled and overall confused. Pinkie Pie smiled with her teeth.
“Spike!”
“What’s going on here?” he inquired, his emerald gaze fixating on the kitchen’s door behind the pink pony.
“What’s going on here is something tragic,” she said, gripping his shoulders tightly and wrenching the baby dragon closer to her. Her eyes popped out at him. “You’ve gotta help me, Spike! It’s incredibly coco-crazy in there!”
“Okay, okay,” he said, brushing her off. Then he looked somewhat sheepish. “Well, actually, I came here to bring Twilight some medicine for her cold because she told me she would be back soon when she left to see you guys, and she never returned home. I just came here to check on her. Um, who’s back there, anyway?” he added, craning his neck to look past her shoulder.
Pinkie bit her lip, slinking backwards towards the kitchen door. She paused, preparing herself for any havoc that was about to be wreaked, and pushed open the door.
Just as she did, a mini Rainbow Dash burst through the doors, her stubby hooves linked underneath a mini Applejack’s shoulders as the two whizzed through the air, giggling uncontrollably. The dynamic duo haphazardly crashed into the front counter, causing the cash register to tumble from the surface and spill its contents all over the floor. Pinkie groaned, dragging a hoof through her cotton-candy mane. Spike looked absolutely shocked – petrified, even.
“What in the name of – whoa!” The baby dragon ducked just before the two foals could ram into his head, nearly grazing the tip of his scales as they flew over his hulking form. He glanced back up to the pink pony, his mouth forming an unremarkable question.
“Was that Rainbow Dash and Applejack that just flew past my head?”
Pinkie nodded.
“And were they foals?”
Pinkie nodded again.
“Why? How?”
“Well, you see, Spikey,” Pinkie began, introducing her usual exaggerated hoof-gestures to expand on her explanation. “Twilight came into Sugarcube Corner with a really really disgusting cold, and it was disgusting because she – “
“Yes, yes, I know about the cold,” Spike interjected, arms crossed over his chest. “Get on with it.”
“ – and anyway, she told us that when she sneezes, she has strange magic purges – “
“Surges,” Spike corrected.
“ – magic surges, and when she does, her eyes go all coco-loco and a huge pink puff of smoke gets launched all around the room, and – “
“Okay, Pinkie!” Spike said loudly. “I get it, just get to the point!”
“Oh, sorry. Anyway, when she gets the surges, she manages to turn something into something else completely different, like a cupcake into a rubber ducky.”
“Okay, so let me get this straight. When Twilight sneezes, she turns cupcakes into rubber ducks?”
“Well, yeah, technically.”
“… I don’t follow, exactly. How does that have to do with anything with Rainbow Dash and Applejack as foals?”
Pinkie giggled. “Oh, Spike, just let me do the ‘splainin’!” She patted his head. “Okay, so, Twilight had this really big sneeze, and managed to turn all of our friends into foals, including herself. Luckily, however, I stayed under the table for most of the time this was happening, so I think it managed to avoid me.”
“Wait, so all our friends are foals? Including Twilight? Then where are – “
The kitchen door was suddenly thrust open, and inside the threshold stood a worn-out Twilight Sparkle. Her tiny body was glistening with sweat and bruises, and she was panting heavily. She heaved in a huge breath. “Oh, Pinkie, thank goodness. You gotta help – oh, hi Spike!” she added jovially when she saw the baby dragon. His jaw gaped even wider than before, in utmost shock and delight of seeing her.
“Twilight! How… but… what? Wait, wait… what?”
“I know, I know, it’s weird,” Twilight said, holding up her hooves in defiance. “I’ll explain later. But Spike, you have to help us control them before bad things start happening!”
“Uh, Twilight,” Pinkie said, cupping a hoof around one side of her mouth. She leaned in closer. She added, in a harsh whisper, “Bad things have already happened.”
Twilight’s shoulders slumped. She rubbed her temple gruelingly, inhaling then exhaling deeply. “Yes, yes, I know, but – how about before abhorrent manifestations start happening!”
“Abba – what man flesh stations? Manny-fest-patients – “
“Terrible things, Pinkie!” Twilight shouted, leaping irately into the air. Spike stifled a mirthful laugh at witnessing a two-year-old looking foal throwing a temper tantrum – which basically is what it was. Twilight heard his snort and threw a dirty glare in his direction, which successfully shut him up.
“You, Spike, are going to help us no matter what! Please. I don’t recall reading books on foalsitting, so my brain is bunked, here.”
“Okay, squirt,” Spike chuckled. Steam hissed from Twilight’s ears. “But why can’t you just turn them back into regular-sized ponies? Your magic is pretty powerful, after all.”
“Well – “
“She can’t because she’s too tiny,” Pinkie explained dumbly.
“Pinkie, no, that’s not – huh? That doesn’t even make any sen – “
“Oh, oh,” Spike said, unable to control his laughter. His voice shook between each word. “Is it because she’s got baby-poop-for-brains?”
“Spike – “ Twilight hissed between clenched teeth.
“Seems like her magic is in serious doo-doo!”
“IT’S NOT FUNNY!”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Spike said, his sides aching from all the laughter. He managed to gain his composure back, eventually. “Just tell us why you can’t use your magic, if it’s really down in the dumps.”
“SPIKE.”
“Sorry! Sorry! I’m cool, I’m cool.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes at him before launching into detail. “Well, since I’m a foal, my magic can’t work as well as it used to. And, as well, I used a fair bit of magic during my sneeze.”
“Yep, yep uh-huh!” Pinkie agreed.
“Great. Then how are we ever supposed to turn them back to normal?” Spike lamented. “Oh, my poor lady Rarity, how art thou as a foal?”
Twilight groaned. Pinkie giggled.
Just then, Spike’s face resembled the look of a lovesick-bird and he dashed into the kitchen, tangible hearts that only he could conjure up was left in his wake – also the utterly confused-looking Pinkie Pie and Twilight he left behind. A few moments later, the baby dragon came out clutching Rarity against his chest, looking like he might have squeed if the foal wasn’t clawing at his face.
“She’s even incredibly gorgeous as a foal!” he prattled, rubbing a claw against her cheek.
Twilight ran an irate hoof through her frazzled mane, her heart rate beginning to speed up with every passing second.
Spike planted a sloppy kiss on Rarity’s forehead.
“EW! Get off me, bub!” she cried, pushing his face away with two stubby – yet surprisingly adequate – hooves.
Spike looked incredibly astonished and offended. “It was only a kiss?”
“KISSES ARE GROSS!”
Spike plopped her back on the ground. He narrowed his eyes at them, his mouth a thin line. “Have fun with them,” he almost-smirked, and made to leave.
“Oh no, you don’t!” Twilight raged, hooking her hooves around his leg. She began kicking and scrabbling at his feet, her tiny grunts and un-successful actions greatly amusing.
“Hey, Twilight, make sure you get his face!” Pinkie called. “You know, if you could reach that far!”
Spike screamed with mirth. “Ahaha! That was a good one, Pinks!”
Twilight shrieked with inexplicable rage, steam issuing from her nostrils and ears. She stomped her hoof down as hard as she could on Spike’s toe, and astonishingly – it stung.
“OW!” he cried, holding his foot between his claws.
“Ha! Teach you to mess with me!” Twilight screeched, raising her hoof into the air and grinding her teeth together.
Spike stopped nursing his foot to chortle. “You know, you would have looked intimidating if you weren’t so tiny.”
Twilight was about to deliver a swift blow to his knee when a brilliant idea popped into her beany-little head.
“I just got an idea!” she exclaimed.
“What, how to look more intimidating?”
Twilight reluctantly ignored him. “I know how we can turn them back into normal ponies! Zecora may have a mixture she can brew up to help, she has ingredients for everything!”
“That’s a great idea, Twilight!” Pinkie said.
“Great! Spike, you grab Zecora from the forest, and Pinkie and I will try to control them before anything bad – anything else happens,” she corrected herself, taking a gander at their surroundings. She winced.
Spike shrugged. “Well, going into the forest definitely beats staying here with you ragamuffins. But, if I die, it’s on your teensy head.”
Twilight stuck her tongue out at him.
“Now, that was cute – “
“JUST GO!”
“Okay, okay! Jeez,” he huffed before retreating out of the shop.
“Phew, thank Celestia he’s gone,” Twilight said, letting a long breath of relief escape her lips. “Now, Pinkie, do you know when the Cakes are coming home?”
“In about an hour,” Pinkie replied, glancing at the clock.
Twilight winced. “Okay, I think we’ll be fine. I’m sure Spike knows where to go. Now we just need to – “
“OW! Dashie, that was my butt!”
“Your butt isn’t on your face, genius!”
“DON’T CALL ME STUPID!”
“Genius means smart, it was a compliment!”
“LA LA LA, I CAN’T HEAR YOU! LA LA LA LA LA LA!”
“LA LA LA, YOUR FACE IS STUPID, LA LA LA!”
“My ears are bleeding! My ears are bleeding! HALP HALP!”
“Eurghh,” Twilight groaned. She clapped a hoof over her face for about the hundredth time since being turned into a foal, but then dragged it from her forehead and forced herself to stay tranquil. “Okay, okay, we’ll be fine,” she murmured to herself most troublingly. She scratched a hoof against her chin, looking up at Pinkie Pie. “Alright, it would be easier if we split the foals up so we can handle our own burdens. Pinkie, you handle Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, I got Rarity and Applejack.”
“Uh, Twilight, I’m not sure you can do that.”
“Huh? Why not?”
Pinkie gestured to her tiny body. When Twilight still didn’t get the obvious hint, Pinkie said, “Do I need to spell it out for you?”
“Spell what out for me?”
“Okay! W-H-A – “
“No! Pinkie, just – never mind.”
On that note, Twilight dashed into the kitchen to care for her burdens, while Pinkie shrugged and followed after the lavender foal. She pushed open the door and nearly slipped on the puzzling puddle of murky-looking liquid on the floor before her. It smelled strongly of –
“Oh no, they’re getting into the booze cabinet!” she heard Twilight yell frantically.
Pinkie furrowed her eyebrows. “Hm, I didn’t know the Cakes kept ghosts in their cabinet! Nightmare Night has already passed.”
Twilight’s lower eyelid twitched. “No, for the love of Pete! Booze as in alcohol, not boos as in ghosts!”
“Ohhhh! I didn’t know the Cakes kept – “
Her sentence was cut short when a deafening crash filled the entire room. A bottle of wine shattered as it was dropped haphazardly onto the tiles, the shards flying across the room and the liquid inside spraying onto everything it could reach. Rarity cried out in delight, and Applejack reached into the cabinet to hand her another bottle to shatter.
“Rarity’s gone to the dark side, Twi,” Pinkie told her.
“Thank you Captain Obvious!” the aforementioned nearly-screamed. She stomped right up to the counter the two assailants were standing atop and her neck nearly cricked as she craned it far enough back to glare bloody daggers at them. “Rarity, you give me that bottle this instant!”
Rarity tittered gleefully and held the bottle above her head to drop.
The bottle smashed right next to Twilight, showering her with sticky droplets of wine and sharp fragments of glass that managed to narrowly miss cutting her skin. Instead of jumping back in fright, the enraged foal screamed in fury. She stamped up to Pinkie, tugging on her leg so the pink pony can duck her head.
“This is your problem now!” Twilight hissed in her ear, voice dripping with venom. “I’ll be waiting in the café for Spike and Zecora. FIX THIS.”
Pinkie waited for Twilight to leave to begin laughing out loud. Just then, something sticky and sweet-smelling smacked her on the side of the face. She wiped it off and dragged her tongue across the stuff, noticing that it tasted exactly like the Cakes’ coffee cake they usually make on Mondays.
She swivelled her head around and fixated her scrutinizing gaze on two little foals with hooves full of desserts. They were standing on the counter, a trolley full of the confectionaries sitting right beside them. Rainbow Dash took careful aim with a chocolate croissant, while Fluttershy reached into the trolley to grab a fresh piece of cherry cheesecake.
Fluttershy’s gone to the dark side too!
SMACK!
Pinkie licked the icing off her face with a long, dripping tongue as soon as it hit her. “Mmmm, thanks, Dashie! Just, next time, make sure you get it into my mouth, okay?”
In response, Rainbow Dash catapulted the cheesecake her partner had handed her moments before, and it hit her in the ear. The next delectable desert that was rocketed at her smacked her in the chest. Rarity and Applejack were still dropping bottles like no tomorrow next door.
“O-okay, that’s enough now, Aunty Pinkie Pie is getting full – “
A pink-frosted cupcake collided with her eye, and she toppled over backwards on impact. “It’s the cupcake catastrophe all over again!” she cried.
Rainbow Dash giggled almost-manically as she launched a slice of key-lime pie towards her victim. It hit her square in the other eye, causing her vision to fall in a world of darkness.
“I’ve been hit! Do you copy, I’ve been hit! Send maintenance!” Pinkie shrieked playfully, holding her hoof against her mouth as if talking into an invisible walkie-talkie. Fluttershy and Dash giggled at her more sanely.
See? Easy as pink punch!
Suddenly, on the other side of the kitchen, an acute shatter followed by a piercing scream penetrated the pink pony’s ears. A long warbling sob ensued, and Pinkie felt her eardrums implode as she turned her head to face the music.
Looks like I spoke too soon.
Rarity was sobbing next to Applejack, who kept absent-mindedly slapping the tiny unicorn lightly on the cheek for no apparent reason at all, doing zero to help the matter. A thin red line ran from the ivory foal’s hoof to her knee, some crimson blood blossoming from the wound. Pinkie ran over to her, pressing her hoof over the cut and looking the foal into the eyes.
“Tomato juice is coming out of me-eee! Why-eeee?” Rarity blubbered, round azure eyes bulging out at Pinkie. “I don’t even like tomato juiiiceeee. It’s gonna staaiiinnn.”
“Silly filly, that’s not tomato juice, that’s blood!” Pinkie explained over-excitedly. She shook her head. “Anyway, what happened?”
Rarity, tears spilling over her cheeks, pointing a hoof towards the broken shards on the floor. Pinkie gazed sympathetically at the foal before scooping her up into her forelegs. “Don’t worry! Your aunty Pinkie Pie will have you all cleaned up quicker than you can say snozberries!”
She whizzed her out of the kitchen and brought her to the bathroom where she could begin dressing her wound. She set Rarity down on the counter by the sink and wet a cloth.
“Now, this going to sting a teensy-weeny little bit, okay?”
Rarity screamed as soon as the water sizzled on her cut, but it soon died in her throat as Pinkie gently caressed the affected area with a tender hoof, and silent tears streamed down the foal’s face instead.
“That’s a good Rarity,” Pinkie cooed.
After she managed to stop the bleeding, she unwrapped a bandage and gingerly placed it on the cut, sensing her patient’s muscles loosen in relief.
“There! All better!”
Rarity nodded and mumbled a small thank you before lifting her legs forelegs up to motion that she wanted to be carried out. The pink pony kindly obliged, scooped her up, and whipped her out.
As she made her way back to the kitchen, she took a glance at the clock.
5:34 PM. The cakes will be home in half an hour, she hypothesized. Hopefully Zecora will be here soon. I just hope she has the brew we are looking for!
: : : :
“Ow, Rainbow Dash! My mane!” Twilight yelped as she was being dragged across every chair, table, and tile by the mini cyan pegasus clutching onto her hair. This is really not how I wanted to spend my afternoon.
“Weeeee! This is totally rad!” Dash cried out, voice cracking in an admittedly adorable way.
“Rad? That’s a new one,” Twilight said mostly to herself. Then, squinting, she looked up at Dash – after shrieking in pain and shock when she received a face-full of chair. “Now, Rainbow Dash, do you mind putting me down so I can – “
“No way, egghead! You gonna be my new longboard!”
Twilight’s face drooped. “L-longboard?” her voice crackled.
“Kowabunga!” Rainbow Dash shifted Twilight underneath her so the unicorn’s belly was scraping across the floor. The blue foal then planted her back hooves on her spine and spread her forelegs apart like an airplane. Twilight screamed.
“Dash… this is… ow! NOT COOL!”
But Dash ignored her as she performed a 360 Backstep on her “longboard”. She cried out in glee as they both swiped over the confectionary shelves, knocking several treats off as they went.
Twilight felt her eyes water with frustration, anger, and utmost irritation. As well as the air battering at her face as they whipped around the shop. The purple unicorn drew in a humongous breath, puffed her chest out, and screamed at the top of her lungs,
"PINKIIIEEEEE!"
: : : :
And, like Twilight, Pinkie Pie had a few minor problems as well.
“No, Rarity, that’s Fluttershy’s tail, not candy floss! Oh, oh, no, Applejack, don’t go potty there – oh, no, okay, there is fine… I guess.” Pinkie dragged a tired hoof through her pink mane. She heaved a tremendous sigh, her shoulders shaking. She honestly felt like sitting down and bawling her eyes out, but she wasn’t about to let these little suckers take the victory for now.
Pinkie Pie heard Twilight yell from the other room, but she paid no heed. Instead, she swiftly scooped all three buggers into her forelegs before plopping them solidly on the counter. She looked them all sternly in the eye, her own cerulean orbs popping out most uncannily at them. Fluttershy hid her face with Applejack’s mane, the three of them starting to scoot away from the pink pony.
“Okay, you three, front and center!” Pinkie Pie ordered.
None of them moved.
“Okay, I guess you’re completely oblivious to military orders,” Pinkie said, shoulders drooping slightly. “Eheh. Not that I am, either. Ehehehe.”
“Boo! Let us down!” Rarity commanded snootily, blowing a raspberry at the older pony looming over them.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that, sugar plum.” Rarity pointed a hoof down her throat at the name, pretending she was gagging. Since when did one begin to act so unladylike? “I think it’s best if I set you down in the time-out corner, or would you prefer spankings instead?”
Fluttershy, timid, timid, slow Fluttershy scratched a hoof against her head. “What’s a spanking, Miss?” she inquired demurely.
Pinkie leaned forward, cupping a hoof around one side of her mouth. “You don't wanna know,” she whispered.
“We don’t want no time-out corner! We don’t want no spankings!” Applejack cried in her adorable-wittle country accent, banging her hoof against the countertop.
“Okay, I get it. No time-outs, no spankings, sure. But…” Pinkie then let a devilish smile cross her lively features, her eyebrows lowering most corruptly – and, you know, she would look corrupt if she wasn’t pink and had balloons as a cutie mark.
: : : :
“You stuck them in the basement?!” Twilight said loudly, her face contorted into that of sheer bewilderment and perturb. Her violet eyes bulged out at Pinkie, but despite that unsettling image, she managed to stay calm, for the most part.
“Yepperooni!” Pinkie grinned proudly, as if there was no addling problem whatsoever. “I figured they’d like the ancient party supplies I have down there to keep ‘em busy!”
Twilight shook her head, bringing a hoof to her temple and beginning to caress the spot there. She solely wondered if the Cakes had any Advil handy. “Listen, Pinkie, that was… very thoughtful? But – “
“Mmmmff! Twilut! Git off mwee alreedy!” a strangled voice begged from somewhere underneath the lavender foal. Pinkie craned her neck to look over the table, and she noticed a familiar tuft of prismatic hair and a cyan blue body.
Pinkie furrowed her brow, not sure how to react accurately to the scenario. “Are you… sitting on Rainbow Dash?”
The cyan foal coughed and tried to lift her head – but Twilight shoved it back down most ungracefully. A muffled ouch sounded from Dash’s mouth being squished against the hardwood of the chair.
Twilight suddenly had an exhausted look in her eyes. “Please, just don’t ask,” she beseeched. Then she folded her hooves together, propping them up on the table. “Anyway, Pinkie, I know you had good intents, but – “ Twilight shook her head. “ – no, wait, that came out wrong. What I meant was, um…” She seemed to have lost her train of thought. “You know what, you just can’t lock them in the basement, okay!”
“Why not?”
“Because… you can’t… urghh!” Twilight looked like she was mere seconds away from exploding. “You just can’t! It’s probably unjustifiable in the world of foalsitting! Just… oh, Celestia, I hope Spike and Zecora get here soon.” She murmured the last part under her breath.
: : : :
“They’re never gonna get here soon!” Twilight cried out several minutes later, frantically darting her eyes between the clock to the door. 5:43 PM. She grit her teeth, the panic and frustration evident in her bloodshot eyes.
“Twilight, I really think you should chill,” Pinkie said coolly. “Plus, I also really think you should get off of Dash. I think she’s gonna choke on her windpipe soon.”
Dash raised her hoof in agreement, her wailing sobs muffled by the chair. Twilight slapped it away. “Oh, please, I weigh the same as her right now, I don’t think it hurts that much,” she said dismissively. “But, I don’t think I can just chill, Pinkie, when the Cakes are probably going to be back here sooner than Zecora and Spike!”
Twilight’s muzzle was inches from Pinkie’s. Pinkie stifled an airy giggle and leaned backwards in her chair. “Twilight, really, relax. Aunty Pinkie Pie has got it all under control! Plus, the Cakes won’t even be mad at you, probably. I’m the one running this show…” She trailed off, noticing something amiss about her words. Her face scrunched up. “Oh. Oh.”
Twilight grinned smugly. Pinkie nearly shot up in her chair. “Oh, cherry sprinkles! Sugary pina coladas! I gotta clean this place up before they get here!” She shot Twilight a dirty look, but she knew she was joking. “You are one diobolical little foal!” With that, she rushed into the kitchen to fetch the mop and broom.
“Yes,” Twilight breathed, patting Dash randomly on the head. She grinned. “I know.”
: : : :
Pinkie’s jaw dropped about ten inches when she saw the mess she had to clean up.
A million shards of glass and puddles and puddles of strong-smelling alcohol decorated the floor in a revolting fashion, along with smears of icing and squished pieces of desserts here and there. The cupboards were gaping, and the sink – in which she had no idea was running until then – was beginning to overflow.
Great, Pinkie thought sullenly. Just swell.
Deciding she had better get to work straight away, she picked up the mop, dunked it in the sink, and began to clean.
In between wipes, however, she stole glances at the clock. Minutes ticked by faster than parasprites could reproduce. Pinkie gave a guttural groan, deciding she should pick up the pace a little more. Her limbs worked furiously, starting to give the impression they were going to give out sooner than she could clean the whole kitchen up.
And then there’s the main room, she thought exhaustedly. Well, only one way to fix that!
She zoomed towards the cupboard and pulled out a fresh cupcake, downing it one gulp all at once. Her Pinkie-Flow-Rate peaked and she felt as fresh as a daisy.
Okay, she thought. Time to zap this place clean!
: : : :
Twilight Sparkle was more than confused when she noticed a pink-hyperactive blur racing throughout the sweet shop. It even ran over once or twice, leaving her sopping wet, apparently not noticing – or not even caring, per se – where it was leaving its trail. Rainbow Dash spluttered underneath her, but she paid no mind. All she did was watch in sheer fascination as Sugarcube Corner received a special spa treatment, and in a speed that would make even Rainbow Dash impressed, it was as clean as a whistle.
The riveting pink blur halted, and Pinkie Pie wiped her brow with a swift swipe of her hoof. She chucked the mop away into some invisible void and stood to admire her work. And, she wasn’t even tired!
“Pinkie, how… did… wow.” Twilight could only gape in awe.
“It’s wonders what a single cupcake can do,” Pinkie replied priggishly.
Twilight just gave her a confounded look.
“You want one?”
Twilight’s eyes darted between Pinkie and the cupcake she didn’t even see the pink pony have before in her hoof. She shook her head unblinkingly. “I’ll pass, thanks.”
Pinkie shrugged. “Suit yourself,” she said before popping the cupcake into her mouth.
Just then, a muffled, barely-audible wail sounded, it seemed, from about a mile away. Pinkie stopped chewing on her cupcake, eyes widening to the extent of dinner plates. She slowly turned her head to glance at Twilight, who had an unamused, barren expression on her face.
“They’re still in the basement aren’t they,” she mumbled monotonously.
Pinkie gulped her cupcake down. “Mhmmmm,” she murmured lengthily.
“Then GET THEM OUT!” Twilight shrieked. Pinkie nearly leapt out of her skin.
“I’ma getting! I’ma getting!” Pinkie cried as she zipped down the hallway to unlock the three foals from the basement.
Twilight rubbed her pounding head. Dash managed to lift her own head, though most of it was obscured by the purple foal’s backside. Dry tear streaks were evident on her face. “Since… she’s letting them out…” she groaned. “can I come out t-too?!”
Twilight scratched her chin, yanking Dash’s head up with her hoof and earning a high-pitched shriek from the cyan foal. She glared right into her ruby eyes. “Do you promise not to use me as a longboard ever again?”
“Aww, but that was super fu – mmfffrgh!” Her last word was cut off when Twilight stuffed her face back down on the chair. Then, she mumbled something inaudibly about her back beginning to go numb.
Twilight smirked.
Just then, the bell above the door suddenly tinkled.
: : : :
“Are we nearly finished our hike, young Spike?” Zecora asked in her usual rhythmic tone. “I am fearing that my herbal ingredients are turning into weaklings.”
“Yeah, yeah, we’re almost there,” Spike rambled, batting away a prodding branch. “Now, you didn’t finish hearing my story about how I nearly got thunked in the head by Rainbow Dash and Applejack, then after saved the love of my life from a wailing Fluttershy and managed to steal a kiss!”
“Oh, my apologies,” Zecora smirked. “I didn’t know I was in the presence of a story-telling prodigy.”
Spike grouched and crossed his scaly arms over his chest. “Ha, ha, very funny. Now, where was I? Oh yes, so I grabbed Rarity in my arms, and then – oh, we’re here!” Spike announced, pushing open the door to Sugarcube Corner.
Zecora breathed a sigh of relief, stepping into the threshold.
Twilight leapt down from her chair, letting a near-deflated Rainbow Dash suck in a fresh breath of delicious air. She was a little wobbly on her hooves, but clung onto Spike in a leg-hug of pure relief. She almost cried tears of joy.
“Oh, you made it! I’m so so glad!” She then exchanged knee-squashing hugs with Zecora, looking up at her with humongous, round eyes. “Now, help me with these little buggers, they’ve been driving me insane all day!”
Zecora stared at Twilight. Suddenly, she was launched into a fit of jovial laughter before the scooped little Twilight up by the diaper. “Oh, unicorn of so little size. This is a humongous surprise!”
Twilight crossed her hooves. “Yes, yes, I know, now please please turn us back to normal!”
Dash collapsed off of the chair, making incredible wheezing sounds. Twilight rolled her eyes.
Just then, Pinkie Pie appeared in the room, carrying the squirming Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack, who kept screaming at her to let them down. Pinkie looked like she was about to unleash her party-cannon-of-doom on them, but reluctantly, she managed to stay calm. She set them down next to Dash – who was most likely dead – and they began to play with her prismatic hair while Pinkie trotted over to join the other group.
“Whew! What a day! I loved taking care of them so much! They’re so wonderful!” Pinkie feigned joviality through clenched teeth. Her eyes darting back towards the foals, she gripped Zecora’s shoulders and shook her lightly. “Please please please turn them back to normal I will love you forever!”
Zecora gently pushed Pinkie off of her. “I have the remedy you are looking for, and will have the back as normal as they were before.”
Twilight and Pinkie heaved a tremendous sigh like a ginormous burden had been lifted off their shoulders.
“Then let’s get to it!”
: : : :
Mr. and Mrs. Cake tugged their now-empty trolley towards Sugarcube Corner, the twins in sacks strapped to Mrs. Cake’s shoulders. They had nervous looks on their faces, as if they were about to open the door to a gateway of disaster.
“Oh, I hope Pinkie did well in managing to shop,” Mrs. Cake couldn’t help but say as they approached the shop’s door.
“Of course she did, honey buns,” Mr. Cake said reassuringly. “When have we ever doubted her before?”
“I know, dear, but… she’s very unpredictable, that one.”
Mr. Cake nodded, knowing that his wife was inexplicably correct. He felt a lump pulse in his throat, and he slowly pushed open the door. The bell tinkled, and that managed to startle him.
What they saw inside was very well out of their thought boundaries.
The entire shop was as clean and smelled as fresh as a lush green forest. The tables and chairs were sparkling, the shelves were neat and the treats were stacked in orderly rows. And, in the middle of the shop, Pinkie and her friends were laughing, sipping hot chocolate and conversing in harmless conversation. Zecora and Spike were also there, grinning and blending in amongst the group as well. The Cakes sighed in relief and delight, and the twins babbled cheerfully.
“So, Twilight really sat on me?” Rainbow Dash chortled, shooting a menacing yet joking glare at Twilight.
“Yep!”
“Well, that’s what you get for longboarding on my back, ya nerd!” Twilight said playfully, flicking Dash on the ear.
Rainbow Dash chuckled heartily. “I still can’t believe I did that!”
“It was sooo super-duper funny! It was rib-crushingly hilarious! It was – well, I really wasn’t there to see it, but I bet it was funnier than a barrel full of cupcake-eating monkeys!” Pinkie laughed.
“Pinkie Pie, you are so random.”
The Cakes approached the lively table with grins on their faces. Pinkie waved at them. “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Cake. How was Manehattan?”
“Lovely!” Mrs. Cake said. “But it wasn’t as lovely as how lovely this place looks, Pinkie! I’m so proud of you, darlin’.” She leaned down and softly rubbed a hoof against the party pony’s cheek. She giggled.
“Thank you!” she squealed as she rubbed Pumpkin and Pound Cake’s round bellies. They giggled with mirth.
Twilight sniffled once, twice, a few times.
“So, Twi, you still have your cold?” Applejack inquired.
“Yes, apparently,” she sighed. “It went away when I got turned into a foal, but… b-but… ah…” Her face suddenly twisted up, and her eyes began to water.
“She’s gonna blow!”
“Not again!”
“Oh, ponyfeathers!”
“Ah… ah…!”
“Quick! Everypony, get under the table before she – “
Twilight sneezed.
Author's Note
Whew, this was a monster of a writing project. I haven't really written one-shots this long before, but I think I should get into the habit.
Anyway, I'm usually not big on comedy and I'm not a funny person so I don't really know how it turned out for everyone, ha. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
