A Lonely Speaker in a Conversation
The palace wasn’t anything like I remembered.
Canterlot had always been built of marble. Yes, it was a very regal city, and it had its share of jewels; however, I had never seen anything on this scale. I remember this room being made entirely of stone. Smooth, white stone. I remember the mirror itself, how it sat atop the great staircase under the observatory dome. It was the most beautiful work of architecture and aestheticism I had ever seen.
By day, the light would simply shine down into the castle wing. It would scatter like any other light, reflecting off the stained glass windows and telling our stories. But in the night... something very special would happen. The light from the moon would all focus on the mirror itself, and everything just became so alive. I could feel the mirror pulsing with such graceful, understated power. Back then, I never understood its significance, but I appreciated it nonetheless. I would come here to think about my day. I would fall asleep under the moonlight, staring up at the stars and wondering how I could get there.
As I stared down at the floor below me, I saw no stone. Instead, encased inside the massive crystal that was the room stood a pony I no longer recognized. Bright flames danced about her mane in brilliant red and yellow curls. Her soft, well-kept orange coat portrayed the mare to be every bit regal as she truly was. Her cutie mark, a sun in a yin-yang style red and white blend was hidden from the outside by a thin, black cloak that draped over her head and body.
It was the emerald tint of the crystal that reminded me just how much of a lie she was.
The floor matched the color of her eyes. Her eyes, once bright and full of joy, lay in the farthest recesses of their sockets. There are no more bags, no more temporary shadow under them. No, there was only pure, horrifying black. It consumed her. Her features, mane to tail, were seldom looked at in the presence of those eyes. They told a story. They told a story that will never be read. They told a story that nobody wants to read.
It’s not like I can blame them, ponies are self-serving creatures; it is in their nature to protect themselves and their interests. I was once an optimist. I denied this simple fact of life. I thought that everywhere you could find good in ponies, from the filly giving her allowance to charity to the elderly stallion helping his frightened grandson across the street. But growing up is learning how the charitable foundation spent its donations vacationing in the islands. Growing up is meeting the same young colt one day and hearing the bigoted hatred that his grandfather taught him how to utter.
The worst thing about all of this is that there was so much I could have done to help. Had I remained blissfully ignorant to the world, I would have worked day in and day out to make Equestria a better place. I had what it took to inspire people. I had what it took to lead a nation with a microphone and a bottle of water.
That pony no longer exists. That pony in the reflection is not who I am, not anymore. Her eyes give it away. I don’t remember those eyes, I don’t want to. On some level, they scare me, and that’s because I know how they got there. I have a cheat sheet, a manuscript to the unpublished story of my life. The story that was erased from history.
The all-powerful Princess of the Sun is ashamed of me.
What a joke. Big ol’ Celestia doesn’t want anyone hearing about little Shimmy. Well that’s fine. That’s perfect, even. I don’t need a library wing dedicated to me, but I’m guessing her replacement of me already has a wagon-load of those. That is her thing, isn’t it? Funny. I was never one for books. I preferred a practical expression of my talents. Instead of reading what I could do, I simply did it and learned from the consequences. Fireworks aren’t the same when the sight and sound is explained in a book. You can’t feel the push on your body, that sound that penetrates and humbles you, the sight that diverts your eyes from anything else around you. A book on magic is simply a play on irony. You would think someone named after me would at least act somewhat like me. I mean, could it be more obvious? Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle? They mean the exact same thing. I don’t know how anyone could be so blind as to miss that.
Yet again, they are never to blame. According to her highness, I didn’t even exist. But I had to be real, right? If I was running my hoof across this cold, mocking glass that somehow looked like my face then by default I had to be real. Hah. Look at me. Standing here debating to myself whether I was or was not standing here debating to myself whether I was or was not.
I couldn’t stay there. I had to keep moving. I looked up from the floor, examining the room around me. It was dark, lit only by two modest crystal torches which seemed to be glowing, not burning. Behind me was the mirror, held up on a small platform. Otherwise there was nothing. Gone was the grand observatory and gone was staircase that held high the mirror. Canterlot had changed and, in my opinion, not for the better.
I shakily raised my hoof, cautiously taking my first step in this new palace. The sensation was so powerfully conflicting that it almost made me lose my balance. So long had it been since I had been reminded of what it was like to walk in that body. It was a humbling experience, to say the least. I, in all my expressed stoicism and regality, could not walk without actively thinking about it. As my hoof touched the ground, I felt an odd sense of accomplishment, relief, and awareness. This wasn’t a dream. I was there, in Equestria, ready to do something that was long overdue. It made everything feel so... real.
The second step was easier.
Soon enough, I had readjusted to my old ways of moving around. I was walking tall like anypony else, but that wasn’t to say I was clicking around the halls with golden shoes as to announce my presence. No, I had to be quiet. In this instance, stealth was all I had. I could feel my magic pulsing through my body like a caged eagle in a parakeet cage ripping apart the tiny bars to break free. It was something that I had been without for many years. The other world existed with definite laws of its reality, unable to be changed by internal or external arcane forces. Yes, energy was real as it ever would be, but it couldn’t be manipulated like it could here. Here was a different story. Not only was my magic very loudly announcing its presence inside of me, I could feel my arcane influence branching out into the open air. While it seemed to be dissipating harmlessly, I feared that something like this may announce my presence to any pony who was still awake... or even asleep.
My fears were soon realized. As I continued walking, the magic that was leaking out of me had reached another set of crystal torches, igniting their glow. They were red, while the first ones were a customary green to match the floors. I had wanted to avoid using my magic, it was only a liability; without proper refinement and practice of magical skills, it is easy to forget how much effort to put into something. Not to brag, but I was a powerful unicorn. A very powerful unicorn. Any slip in concentration could do something so damaging as to alert everyone in the entire palace. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t go around lighting up the palace at this hour.
I focused inwards, forming the primary connections with the energy inside of me. I felt old neurons light up in glee, dopamine rushing through my system as long forgotten nerves ignited into full glow. My head was on fire, and not in a bad way. It was that quiet, relaxing burn you feel when you’ve had just the right amount of good champagne. I was never one for alcohol usually, but since there was the rare occasion that I did drink, I could never be lost of what that feeling was. Just as I finished bathing my mind in elegant magic, I branched outwards to my horn. The process began with a few simple sparks, electricity dancing about the air uncontrollably as it was it with new energy. But sure enough, I managed to establish a flow. A green aura formed about my horn, covering it in soothing magic. The spell wasn’t over there, though. I pushed that aura forwards, centering it at the tip of my horn. If things were going to get messy, what happened next would be the thing to cause it. Once the energy had changed from an aura to a small point atop my horn, I reversed everything in an instant. I began drawing small amounts of energy into that point instead of forcing them out. It was then that I expected to lose control, drawing in too much energy and causing a not-so-pleasant discharge of energy that was acquired too quickly.
To my surprise, the lights dimmed without incident. The ball on my horn, now about the size of a coin, attracted all of the excess energy that my body put out. Not to mention, its soft glow lit a path for me to see without any of the torches on. I had managed to solve all of my problems with one action. When does that happen?
Needless to say, I had no intention of testing my luck any further unless I absolutely had to. One success doesn’t prove that there will be no future mishaps. I continued quietly walking, making my way out of the mirror’s chamber and into a main hallway.
Dear Celestia, it was grand.
The hall, with a ceiling tall enough to make a pegasus afraid of heights, was most beautifully designed. The walls were graced with opulent, diamond pillars with the most intricate of designs on them. The doors, which were the only things I could see that weren’t made of crystals, were of finely crafted mahogany plated in gold. Perhaps I judged this new Canterlot too quickly. While the mirror chamber may have been modest, this... this made up for it.
But it all paled in comparison to what was right in front of me. At the end of the hall was a large, circular room with no windows, only a complete balcony opening to the outside world. There, in the center of that opening sat the moon at the largest I had ever seen it. There were no stars beside the moon, and I wasn’t looking up. It made me feel like I was right there, that if only I reached out and jumped towards it I could land there but only if I did it right now. It was torturous and mocking just as much as it was breathtaking. It was the most beautiful, pure white moon I had ever laid eyes on.
It was right then that I realized there was a problem. The moon wasn’t supposed to be white, was it? Where was the face of the legendary mare? Was I behind the moon? No, no. I had lived in Canterlot for the first fifteen years of my life, I knew better than to think that the moon would look different than it always had from the palace. So, where was the mare in the moon? Where was Princess Luna?
It didn’t take me long to get my answer. As I stood there, my gaze transfixed on the moon, the sound of clicking hooves met my ears. Panic rushed through my body like frozen bleach through my veins, and in an act of utter lack of thought and desperation, I turned around...
… and lit the night on fire.
Magic overflowed from me, pouring out in uncontrolled embers. Brilliant flames exploded from my body, completely covering the part of the hallway that had been behind me. The torch expanded from the ground up toward the ceiling, completely covering the hall in a circle of violently dancing fire. From my horn, red electricity sparked and shot itself forward in an attempt to obliterate anything in its path.
It was the first time in my life that I was terrified of myself. I backed up from the scene, falling from my hooves and landing backwards. I watched as the flames slowly burned themselves away, unable to catch on to anything flammable. In front of me stood no char, no burn, no nothing. There was nopony there. I had gone insane. I was hearing things, and in my paranoia, trying to kill them. I had without a doubt woken everypony in the building up. Everything was ruined now, I would be discovered by Celestia and sent away to prison and made out to be a villain and hated by all generations to come. It was over, everything was over, my entire life was over right then until I felt a hoof touch my back.
I spun around in astonishment, nearly having a heart attack as I met eyes with the most serene, beautiful mare I had ever seen. The moonlight bathed her coat in an indescribably perfect way, her ethereal mane of stars flowed in the arcane winds, and her familiar, emerald eyes drove themselves into me like an electric knife fired from a crossbow.
“P-princess Luna,” I uttered, falling to my knees. I forced my head downwards in a mix of shame and fear, nothing I had ever felt so strongly in Celestia’s presence. “I am so sorry, I am so, so sor–”
“Princess Sunset Shimmer,” Luna said, dropping to one knee. “You bow to no one.”
I cracked an eye open, looking at her in confusion. I slowly rose to my hooves, unsure of what was going on. Luna stayed in that position, intent on showing the undeserved loyalty and respect she had for me. I stared down at her, eyes wide.
“You... you’re bowing to me?” I asked, looking around the hall to see if anyone else was watching. I was becoming very uneasy very fast. “You’ve never even met me.”
Luna let out a long sigh as she rose, dusting herself off. “That is inaccurate, my little pony,” she remarked, closing her eyes as she considered herself.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I have met you before, Sunset Shimmer, a very long time ago,” Luna began. “Your spirit is one that will never leave my memory. It is an essence I respect as well as fear. It is something I have not felt the presence of for well over a thousand years.”
“A t-thousand years?” I managed to spit out. It was up until then that I had yet to notice the absurdity of my situation. Here I was, trying to complete the task I had set for myself. Instead of doing that, I was now listening to someone I had considered locked safely inside of a giant sphere tell me that she had met me a thousand years before I was born. Maybe I had lost it a long time ago.
“Why are you here, Sunset Shimmer?” Luna asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“That,” I said, turning to walk past her. “Is my business. I have something very important to do, and I cannot waste any more time here. I apologize, your highness.”
“What does it have to do with Twilight Sparkle?”
I stopped. “How did you–”
“I am a very old pony, young princess,” Luna offered, walking to follow me. “There is scarce a trick you can fool me with.”
“Do not try and stop me, Luna,” I said, turning look at her. “I am more powerful than you will ever be, this is a fight you won’t win. She does not deserve to wield my crown, and I am here to take it back. With it, I can finally realize my birthright.”
“I hadn’t the intentions of stopping you,” Luna argued. She sighed again, shaking her head. “This is a journey you must take.”
I closed my eyes, trying to sort through my thoughts. “If you had no intention of trying to stop me, then why are you here?”
“I believe your view on history is clouded, Sunset Shimmer,” Luna said softly, leaning down to drape a wing over my back. “There is much anger locked in your heart. It has overtaken you, and your judgment is not clear. I can feel your hatred for my sister even now. What surprises me more is, I can feel your hatred for Twilight Sparkle. What do you know of Twilight Sparkle?”
I relaxed under her wing, feeling all of my tension melt away. The kindness and empathy shown by Luna was not lost on me. It had been so long, far too long since I had felt this kind of safety and love in the presence of another pony. It was a feeling I missed so much. It was a feeling at almost made me want to give up now, cry into her chest and have her tell me everything was going to be okay.
Almost.
“I know enough,” I said, moving out quickly from under her comforting wing. “I know enough about her. She took everything from me. They took everything from me. Twilight Sparkle is living a life that I was destined to live! She wears my crown and sleeps in my bed. She learns from my teacher and spends time with my family. She has... she has replaced me.”
Luna looked into my eyes. “I don’t think you understand who Twilight Sparkle actually i-”
“Not the element of magic!” I shouted. I was shouting. I shouldn’t be shouting.
I was shouting anyways.
“I am not implying Twilight Sparkle is the element of magic,” Luna made clear, propping up my chin so I couldn’t avert her gaze. “At least not in the way you know the element of magic to be.”
“I know what they did, I will never forget just like you say you will never forget my spirit,” I said. “I will... I will never forget what Princess Celestia did to me.”
Luna’s gaze softened further. I turned from her suddenly, slamming my hoof on the ground as hot tears made their way down from my eye sockets.
“I will never forget the day my life was taken from me.”
Author's Note
This won't be a long story, no more than 15,000 words. I'm placing it into three or four chapters because it makes transitioning a lot smoother (and better) than doing it in the form of a one shot, even though it has about the length of a longer one shot.
Based on this song:
[youtube=6coqkaaQYG8]
