Funeral-Chariot - Tour ov the Republic

by OBXSuperindustries

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 1477

Transposed Black-metal Lyrics, for ponies

Imagine, if the Cutie-mark Crusaders delved into the genre of BLACK-METAL.
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Enlisting the aid ov Pinkie Pie, one ov the most revered,and respected drummers in all ov Equestria. They set out to reek havoc and insult the masses with promises ov destroying the world. To no avail can Celestia seem to stop them!
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Originally meant to be a silly troll-fic for my friends, i actually think that this might go somewhere. The order will be "Transposed Song" - "Story" - "Transposed Song", and for a variety of reasons, mainly lack ov content, the band will actually expand further beyond just black-metal
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Check out the band Behemoth, and you'll see what I'm getting at :>
http://www.behemoth.pl/site/
—
NOTICE: ALL lyrics are alterations of Behemoth unless otherwise specified in a chapter header. Behemoth is labeled to NuclearBlast. My Little Pony is owned by Hasbro.

FFS DO NOT SUE ME!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-10-09 14:32:38 UTC

Backstage Bunker

"Thank you Cloudsdale! you've been a great crowd!" They cheered surging again, overwhelming the guards out front. Fans clambered onstage, tearing at their clothes, trying to obtain some form of memento. Pegasi roadies and a Gryphon surged from out of backstage, forming a circle round the performers. "Come-on, we gotta get outa here!" screamed Gilda over the unrelenting droning of the fans. Pinkie Pie simply dived out of her seat, disappearing behind their huge tour banner. A blur of leather jackets and black manes perused her back, the sound of crashing making Scootaloo wince. The protecting roadies tightened their cover, slowly moving out back as the guards began to push the frenzied fans back.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell were also swamped, leaving their instruments behind, cowering behind their protectors. It took them ages, pushing back and forth between the formed throngs onstage, before they were safe in the strongroom out back. Pinkie Pie was already there, cradling the large bump on her forhead. "Those mother-cuddlers knocked an amp down on me! Bunch of loony idiots!" she said, fumbling through the cooler box beside her for a beer. Apple Bloom laughed, sitting on the couch beside her, ogling the large bump. "Wow, that'll leave a mark. Look on the bright side, least you wont have to put on so much paint next time." Pinkie sneered, taking a swig, then holding the bottle up to the bump, its cold embrace soothing the pain. SweetieBell leaned over the sink, splashing her face with water. The paint washed off, leaving smears across her eyes, making her look even more ghastly then when on stage. "Urghh, i got some crap in my eye during 'Sisterhood!' for Cuddlers sake, it hurt like a Dame!" She carefully wiped her hoof across the bottom of her eye, taking wads of paint with each.

"Apple Bloom, you Cuddled-up during the solo again, you really need to practice the rhythm before our next show-" the yellow Mare stormed over to Scootaloo, her face pressed up against Scoot's! "My name is DEATH BLOOM, and I did that riff perfectly. SweetieBell was the one who screwed it." "CUDDLE-YOU I HAD PAINT IN MY EYE!"

The three burst out in argument, Pinkie-pie just rolled her eyes, taking out another beer, and replacing it with the one on her head. The door quickly opened, and shut. The zounds of the masses outside briefly swallowing up all noise inside the tiny room. Their manager, a large female Gryphon, strolled in. The three stopped, all looking menacingly at her. She gulped once before talking, the uncertainty of what just happened making her nervous.

"Good news- guys. We already knew that the concert was a complete sell-out. But we also sold every last scrap of merch and shirts, and rumor has it the Concert in Manehattan will sell-out too. and don't get me started on the Pony-Disc sales, the country is in turmoil, trying to meet demand. We did it girls, were there!" The three all grinned, huddling together like their Filly days. They bounced in a circle chanting "We did it, We did it" seemingly out of place considering their physical apperance. Pinkie-pie rolled her eyes, her headache pounding into her skull. Ditto! Gilda, when can we go home? I gotta catch up on some proper sleep!"

Gilda nodded, trying not to make eye-contact with Pinkie-pie. Their feud from all those years ago had been resolved, but she still didn't feel very comfortable around the Insane pink Mare. "We'll have a chariot ready in an hour! Did you girls wana keep any of the equipment we had this time round?!" SweetieBell's eyes widened "Oh, yes! i really like that bass! And the amp that went with it!" "Anyone else?!" AppleBloom and Scootaloo shook their heads, Pinkie Pie waved a hoof lazily in Gilda's direction.

"Alright then, be ready for a dash to the exit in ten minutes we'll wait, hopefully Iced-Cloud will be able to calm most of them down with the encore! That is if we can get them all out of the Backstage area. Whoever hired security needs a hoof in the groin!" and with that she exited, quickly shuting the heavy door before the fans outside could slip in.

Apple Bloom turned to Pinkie Pie, eying her menacingly. "Do you and Gilda still have that feud going on?!" Pinkie Pie gently shook her head "We're not friendly, but she is our manager. Just... drop it! I don't want to talk about it. She turned her head, stamping her hooves in time with the muffled music outside. Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.

"Hey girls, I've been thinking. Now that the war has been over for however long, and Celestia opened up the borders. What if after Manehattan we should start thinking about a tour of the Republic?!" said Scootaloo. SweetieBell squealed with exitement "OH YES, THATS A GREAT IDEA, we'll probably be able to meet Lunar IN PERSON!!" She jumped up and down, giddy with exitement at the thought of meeting the main lyrical subject of their entire band. Scootaloo turned to Apple Bloom, she looked back with concern in her eyes. "Wellllll, I was planning to go to my Family Gathering after Manehattan. Couldn't we maybe do it in a Month?" Scootaloo nodded, thinking that a rest was probably better. SweetieBell died down, her exitement to meet Princess Lunar snuffed out like a flame. Apple Bloom turned back to Pinkie Pie waiting for her reply. Pinkie just starred back, her blue eyes pierced with pain and frustration. She shrugged "Eh, I'm the drummer, what do i know?"

Scootaloo jumped up. "Then its settled! In one month we're going to The Lunar Republic!"

Clouds Over Equestria

Devildriver - Clouds over California

"Come forth for the ponies call

  Confront the friendship you cant control

  befriending ways and ignorant eyes

  Just equine nature in disguise

  Lost in this world, clouds on the edge

  With the wind by our sides

"Today I sworn that I wouldn't mourn ya

  Clouds over Equestria

  If that's the way it's gonna be then I'll fuckin' do it alone

  I'm a god in Nightmare's eyes

  Curse the clouds over Equestria

  This is the call to obey

  Let the clouds rain!

  Bloodshot and weary-eyed

  countless hours of clearing the sky

  It'll take you and break you away

  It'll tear you apart

"Today I sworn I wouldn't mourn ya

  Clouds over Equestria

  If that's the way it's gonna be then I'll fuckin' do it alone

  I'm a god in Nightmare's eyes

  Curse the clouds over Equestria

  This is the call to obey

  Let the clouds fade!

"If that's the way it's gonna be the I'll fuckin' do it alone

  Hide in the sun, a simple disguise

  Curse the clouds over Equestria

  This is the call to obey

  Let the clouds rain!

  I'm a god in Nightmare's eyes

  Curse the clouds over Equestria

  This is the call to obey

  Let the clouds raaaiiin!"

Ov Lunar and the Moon

"I, the spawn ov her

The offspring ov the stellar queen

My wings fallen and crushed upon the earth

That I may bring balance to this world

"I spawn ov Lunar

From sheer friendship transgressed

Unto the highest self - to utmost freedom

To explore the lunar nature ov my rage

" I pulse ov magic

The law ov harmony undenied

I hold the torch ov the sun-queen

So i can shake the earth and move the suns

"I divine servant of her

Injecting cupcakes into my veins

With life accepted

With you be-friended

Is the embrace ov celestia profound

"The fear ov the dawn

The ecstasy ov dusk

Nourished have I this friendly glow

Where harmony seats itself below

Let it be written!

Let us be friends!

Scattered i bow before friendships light"

Countless head-banging ponies all surged forward, knocking over the barrier and unleashing hell upon security below. Scootaloo could not believe how far they had come, from that awful mess as a filly, to the greatest entertainment force Equestria had ever known. She screamed once more into the microphone, covering the crowd in a pulse of harsh, gravely epicness. They all roared with her, returning the undeniable fury against the system. With music, they all felt empowered.

She turned to Applebloom, guitar still screeching out notes, and to Sweetiebell, her bass ringing out. Then to Pinkie Pie, her dead-straight Pink mane contrasting with the White war-paint on her face. She held her drum-sticks high above, encouraging the fans even more.

Scootaloo turned back, raising a hoof in time with the crowds chants "Fun-er-al! Fun-er-al! Fun-er-al!" Scootaloo turned from the microphone, ripping at the strings of her guitar, and using her signature "Stare-ov-death" she made the fans pulse with fear and excitement!

They were The Soldiers of Lunar, the Ponies of Chaos!

They were Funeral-Chariot