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The Life and Times of a Bit Monger
A bit earned is another $574,872 bits I just made.
“Interest Rate, go on ahead and calculate the capital needed to buyout Sparkle Industries and whether or not it’ll be cheaper to dissolve the company for its assets or give a subsidiary in exchange for the patented rights to any future projects.” Cadance ordered her secretary.
Interest Rate, a rather young and inspiring business earth pony nodded understandingly, knowing her boss’ intention. “Right away Cadance, yes ma.” She repeated that last bit once more before turning around and leaving the office. Shining Armor, head of Gem & Steam Security took one glance as the mare darted out of the room before turning back to face their boss.
“Shining Armor, I understand there’s a small problem concerning the “WTF”...again. I need you to...” Cadance rolled one of her fore hooves around looking for the right word. “...assure them that while their concerns are welcomed we’re completely fine here and don't require their help.
Shining Armor only stared into her eyes before simply nodding.
“How many legs need broken?”
“Two, and oh please make sure you hurry. We’re having dinner at your parents tonight and need to be leaving in the next few hours.” Cadance reminded shining. He smiled and gave a small wave of his hoof as he walked by the thick, petrified wood doors that separated her office from the rest of the company.
“Damn I love that stallion.” Cadance stated as her husband Shining Armor left her office. With her more pressing matters under control for the moment, Cadance trotted over to her golden desk. The desk she had painstakingly made by hoof out of her first million bits; as in Cadance had hired sompony superglue a million bits together to make her large, and heavy desk.
Placing her rump on the imported Saddle Arabian silk pillow, Cadance withdrew a stack of papers from one of the drawers and placed the stack in front of her. She flipped through a few of them nonchalantly, barely glancing at any as she set each paper aside into two new stacks. The stack on her left was the important, or top priority stack, while the stack on her right was the fire kindling... err “suggestion” stack; suggestions submitted from the numerous hard working ponies that made her wealth a reality.
Her pink hoof hovered over the stack as her brain debated and contested itself over what to do with the forms. Her blank expression after a moment gave way to a lite frown, but it quickly reformed back into the professionalist look that had won her many victories in the public and private sectors.
“Alright, alright lets see what my little ponies want of me.” She told herself as she grabbed the first three papers from the stack. She laid them out in front of her with one swipe of her hoof, eyeing each crisp sheet with her full undivided attention.
The sheet to her right called for better sound proof walls for the floors near the testing facility: approved. Cadance remembered very well the amount of noise... and occasional screaming that vibrated off the walls when the company was first starting out. It was a very exhausting and expensive time during the company’s early life. So many bribes were made to avoid the potential lawsuits that week.
“Next suggestion...” Cadance ran her tongue over her dry lips, partly habit and partly to moisten them. She squinted her right eye and adjusted her monocle in hopes of make out the infuriating smalling hoofwriting. Thought what it in size, it made up for in length; taking up every open space on the front before consuming the entire back of the page.
“...” Cadance made no further attempt to even try reading it before crumbling it and magically tossing it into the fireplace that encompassed the wall to her left. The flames hissed in acknowledgement as the paper made contact, incinerating it instantly. With that taken care of, it meant one less problem Cadance had to worry about. She smiled at that thought. If throwing suggestions into the fire like that could solve of her problems then why couldn’t she just do that to all of them?
Four words came to mind.
“Workers Fair Treatment Committee.” Cadance answered her own question. The Committee always seemed to stick its muzzle into other ponies business and make demands of them. Cadance may have been raised upper middle class before becoming part of the upper crust (to which pie that crust belonged to she still didn’t know) but even she was taught some manners and etiquette.
“I swear that committee is made up of nothing but middle class ruffians that have nothing better to do on a Saturday.” Nodding in agreement with herself, Cadance returned to the matter at hoof and began reading the final suggestion for the day before she incinerated the rest of them. After all just because the box was labeled “Suggestion Box” didn’t mean she had to actually read them right?
Cadance jerked herself out of her thoughts at the knocking on her door. She quickly replaced her monocle that had fallen out off and readjusted her top hat so that it sat perfectly on her horn before asking who it was.
“Its me Cadance, Captain Shining Armor. I have a Mr. Deal with me claiming to have an appointment with you about an issue...”
“Oh! I almost forget! Yes yes, send him in Shiny.”
The old doors opened inwards calmly revealing the two stallions. Shining Armor was partly red faced as his companion, a sparkling soot colored earth pony gave him a questioning look. Shining broke eye contact with him to meet Cadance’s gaze which was enough to distract the soot pony.
“Ah! Mrs... Princess Cadance! Truly this is a great privilege to be here, and I mean that too since its a violation of my court order.” Mr. Deal stated that tidbit of information like it was tortilla chips at a mexican restaurant; like it was a natural thing ponies expected of him to explain. Defective Deal was perhaps a perfect name for this daft pony after all.
With a nod, Shining Armor grasped the doors with his magic and collectively closed the doors to allow the two ponies to conduct their business in peace. Mr. Deal walked over to her massive golden desk ready to shake her hoof or something, not even noticing the grim he was tracking all over her priceless pre-Griffon Empire rug.
Oh well, she was getting tired of it anyway.
“What can I do for you Mr. Deal. I thought our meeting wasn’t until the week after next?” She asked placing a small handkerchief over hoof to shake the stallion’s extended hoof. Before he could even reply, Cadance used her magic to withdraw the little green book she kept in the second drawer on the right side of her desk. The book hovered in front of her, the pages flipping as her experienced eyes scanned the pages looking for the one she needed. A few more pages were flipped before Cadance finally placed her hoof on the chosen one page.
“Yes, it was for next week, right after the meeting with Plump Pants, and Undercut.” She confirmed this by tapping her hoof on the book, clearly such an act was proof enough.
“Well... Yes that is true, but I figured I’ll just show up early. It isn’t best to keep somepony waiting after all!”
“But doesn’t that defeat the purpose of making an appointment if you don't show up at the appointed time, Mr. Deal?”
Mr. Deal nodded. “It somewhat does, but why put business off later when you could just take care of it today?”
Cadance opened her mouth to reply but held her tongue, instead sticking it out so she could ponder his words for a bit. She straightened her posture with an inhaled breath of air, before releasing it. To her surprise his words made sense. The longer you put off some matter the longer you'll end up having to deal with it, and that meant more time wasted.
Which boiled down to an increased loss of bits...
"Mr. Deal that has to be the single most insightful bit of logic I have ever heard in my life." Cadance praised the stallion much to her surprise. She couldn't deny that it made sense. “I wished I had more clients that thought like you Mr. Deal. I think with that kind of thinking your going to go places.”
“You really think so?”
“I do Mr. Deal. In fact I think I we, the company, could use somepony of your talents and...” Cadance gave him a quick look over, not overly impressed by what stood before her. “... looks. How would you like to be the poster stallion for our new advertising campaign?”
The soot colored earth pony nearly fainted at the suggested offer. His face on the forefront of nearly all Gem & Steam Advertising in all countries! Just that alone was enough to make him squeal like a school filly, but add in the fact he’ll be rich, and famous was beyond his wildest dreams!
“May I take that has a yes then Mr. Deal?” Cadance asked judging from the stallion’s money looking iries and greedy smile that highlighted his face. She giggled softly to herself.
“I’m glad that you approve Mr. Deal. We’ll be hard pressed to find another pony that would match your criteria.” Cadance nodded. She rose from her silk pillow and walked around the desk, motioning for the stallion to follow her. He did so rather quickly, either excited at this once in a lifetime deal or worried he could still screw it up.
“I.. me... Thank you Princess! I can’t even begin to say how surprised I’m am that you chose me for this privilege, this honor!” Mr. Deal almost immediately began expressing his thanks, and kissing flank; Cadance loved it.
“Please Mr. Deal, relax and take deep, controlled breaths. You’re most certainly welcome, don’t worry about me retracting the offer. I would never do such an underhoof, and rude thing. Now I hate to cut this short...” Cadance used her magic to open the doors, readying to show the earth pony out. “...but in a few moments I need to be readying for a trip out of city. Would you mind if we used your old appointment time for your photo shoot?
“Photo shoot?”
“Yes, yes with world renowned Photo Finish in Canterlot, does that sound acceptable Mr. Deal?” Cadance asked as if the now greedy stallion would still say no. She looked at him expectantly, wearing what you could call a friendly, maybe even a pleasant smile as she waited for his response. His brain took a moment or two longer than normal to understand what Cadance had just asked, but in only reinforced her belief that he was the perfect stallion for the job.
Mr. Deal could only nodded his reply, having lost his ability to speak just in case he were to say something stupid. Cadance’s smile only grew larger, happy to “hear” that he had accepted the offer. She showed him out of her office, waving him goodbye and reminding him about his photo shoot in Canterlot.
Before Cadance could close her office doors, her husband quickly dropped his cloaking spell and dashed in. The act startled Cadance, causing her to yell in surprise before scolding him.
“Don’t do that Shiny! I thought you had business with those ponies from the “WTF.” And why were you standing beside my door?”
“I did but they weren’t home so I went to grab a donut before coming back... but thats not the point!” Shining Armor quickly turned the conversation, earning him the “you better have a good a reason, or else your hoof will be your best friend for the next week” look.
“Ok Shiny, if you not doing your job is not the point than what is? “ She glanced down at his midsection with criticizing eyes. “Is it the roll your developing down there?”
Shining Armor, to his credit blushed at his wife’s bluntness. It’s been an issue he’d been struggling with since he left the Royal Guards to help his wife run her company. Unlike the guards where you had mandatory drills and diets, his desk job had none of that and his wife knew that. She knew he was a bit self conscious about the added weight and it was the quickest way she could get his full attention without beating around the bush: plus she only pointed out his weight when she was upset or angry. This was one of those moments.
“Well... you were still in your meeting and I didn’t want to intrude so I waited by the door... invisible.” He quickly raised his hooves in defense. “ But it was to protect you! You know... just incase he tried to pull some dastardly deed like kidnap you and tie you to the railroad tracks.”
“The same tracks I had decommission two years ago to make room for the steam powered carriage road? Shining Armor gave paused to gather his thoughts and his next choice of words. After all he didn’t want to sleep on the queen size bed again when he could be sleeping on the king size bed with his wife.
“The point is that I’m overprotective of you and I should know better that you can take care of yourself.” He wisely stated, winning his wife’s approval with a smile before the pair nuzzled.
“You're lucky you’re smart as well as handsome..” She looked up to peck him on the cheek “... else I would have cut your salary by half already.” Cadance giggled at her little jab, which Shining joined in as well. The pair’s laughter finally died after a minute or so, after which they started trotting out the office. The massive doors met each other with a low, but powerful bang before following with a sharp click: signalling the bolts barring the bolts in place.
Cadance and Shining Armor trotted down the corridor happily enjoying the closeness of the their significant other. The few ponies they did past either nodded or waved at the pair politely before moving on to wherever they were going.
“So what kind of photo shoot did you offer Mr. Deal, honey?”Shining Armor was the first to break the silence. It was a question that had been coursing through his mind since he had overheard it. Shining watched his wife from the corner of his eyes, wanting to see what she’ll do. Fortunately he didn’t have to wait long.
“That Shining Armor was suppose to be confidential, between Employer and Employee. Not between a jealous and overbearing husband.” She add that last part to drive that point further home. “But if you must know, it was an offer to be the poster pony for our new advertising campaign”
Shining gave her a questioning look. Granted he just admitted earlier he need to trust her more, this matter was the exception.”But dear, couldn’t you have found a better pony for the cover? There has to be a pony with better qualifications than Mr. Deal! I mean his name is Defective Deal after all!”
Cadance listen to her husband’s complaint, which she silently thanked the Sun for having the patience to deal with such a common practice in the business world. Whining and complaining. If only there was something she could use to rid herself of it... perhaps hiring more enforcers would solve the problem? She shook her head slightly side to side, returning her focus back to her husband’s concern.
“Shiny, I can understand your fears and concern for the public image of the company but trust me when I say there truly is no other pony better qualified than him. He is the entire “Equal Opportunity” Campaign incarnate and...’
“Wait, what was that honey?”
“What was what?” Cadance asked
“That last part. Mr. Deal being the entire campaign?” Shining Armor asked his wife, hoping his ears didn’t hear her wrong.
“Oh, well Mr. Deal is going to be our poster pony for the new C.E. Gem & Steam Equal Opportunity campaign. Its to show that we employ all species without discrimination; we hire for the pony, or whoever based on them and their skills, and not what ails them.” His wife replied with the professionalism only a C.E.O like Cadance could manage.
Shining Armor smiled gleefully at his wife’s answer. He hugged her tightly, not to the point it became uncomfortable but to show he truly meant the feelings behind the hug. “You're right honey. I need to trust your judgement more, you clearly make the right decisions.”
Cadance nodded triumphantly. Her husband was actually taking her advice to heart and learning from it! Oh today was shaping out to be quite a wonderful day, and not another intoxicating night of wine and chocolates... Again. Cadance gave her husband the look he had been hoping for, the look that decided his fate for the night.
“Well Shiny, looks like you don’t have to be friends with your hoof. You're off the hook for now.” For the rest of the way to his parents house, Shining Armor’s grin never left his face.
Author's Note
This is a test of sorts to see if such an idea would be interesting. I would really like to hear any thoughts questions or complaints, so please fell free to criticize.
The Life and Times of a Bit Monger
Never stand between a mare and her mare
Interest Rate sat comfortably at her desk located in her personal office, which was across the hall from her boss, employer and mentor, Mrs.Cadance who was currently away with her husband. Which left her in her current predicament of managing the company while Cadance was away; being her top and only intern at the moment meant she was given the rare and trusted honor of running such a large enterprise.
She hated it.
It wasn’t the weight or burden of running such a large and well connected company by herself or the issue of making crucial decisions under pressure that could mean saving or destroying the company... it was something much worse. She glanced at the calendar that hung from the wall to her left, paying attention to the huge red circle that dominated todays date.
Just the very sight of the color triggered warning sirens in her mind.
“Why do we even have bonuses in the first place?” Interest Rate asked herself dejectedly. Here she was in the prime of your youth; a young, and powerful mare that should be out living the highlife up and meeting high standing stallions. Yet here she was on a friday with all of these bits, and she was simply giving them away to ponies that’ll just likely turn around and give them back to the company in some form. Why couldn’t they just give the bits to ponies in upper management? Ponies like herself who could use those bits to further invest in the company’s future instead of squandering it on unless items like insurance or health care?
Do these ponies really fall for such a scam that they’ll willing pay a company every month for years on the likelihood they become sick or injured? HA! Maybe she should follow the insurance companies lead since they clearly are doing something right.
Interest Rate sighed once more. If she ever did decide to branch off and leave Gem & Steam it’ll have to be when she was either rich enough to immediately start up and survive an attempted takeover by Cadance, or acquire the funds from Cadance for start up, but become a subsidiary to Gem and Steam. So either strike it out on her own and risk being assimilated by Cadance or play the waiting game until she can save enough capital to eventually buy her company back... either way it looked Cadance would still be her boss, and had all the time in the world.
Interest Rate looked toward the Based Observation and Surveillance System or B.O.S.S camera that perched itself in the corner of her office. It did noting of noted value other than to continue staring coldly at her; like it was just waiting for her to slip up in some shape or form. Basically acting like a tattletale of sorts.
“Smile and continue on working” Interest Rate told herself over and over, trying to return back to the bonuses she was supposed to be mailing out. Her eyes mechanical trailed down the crisp paper that listed everypony that would receive a bonus this year, namely all of them. Each pony’s name had the green numbers next to it that indicated how much each would receive as a bonus; to Interest Rate it all appeared as one massive red number. A number which reminded her of a certain word she had nearly fazed out of her vocabulary...an expense.
Just thinking about the word sent Interest Rate’s heart into a mild panic.
She held a hoof over her beating heart as if to hold it in place while she tried to imagine herself sitting behind Cadance’s desk; a day when she could finally became C.E.O of Gem & Steam. The trick worked and soon Interest Rate could feel her young, earth pony heart finally coming to terms with the usage of that word. She looked up at the camera once more, and of course it didn't show any signs of understanding or any interest in what was happening to her. Only caring if she was doing her job.
“Stupid system.” She mumbled angrily to herself. “I could be having a heart attack and it’ll ignore me unless I was simultaneously giving bits away to the less fortunate.”
Interest Rate once more sighed. In business aspects the B.O.S.S system was simply a marvel of engineering and efficiency, and Interest Rate loved it more than she hated it. It wasted virtually no energy or time in its day-to-day running and she envied it. She had been sitting at her desk since the very early dawn working to mail these bonuses and looking at the clock right now (it read 4:32pm) and she was nowhere near finishing. Hay, she wasn't even halfway to finishing!
Interest Rate once more scanned the document before her, this time actually looking at the green numbers carefully. Her recent complaint driving her new found motivation. If she could just figure this out, she could likely sell two things with one pitch. Her tired eyes looking at each number before darting randomly across the page to different sets of numbers before she began piecing the pattern together.
“That's it!” Interest Rate yelled triumphantly, slamming her hoof down on her desk. The camera payed her no heed as it continued its new mechanical task of staring at the door. Interest Rate didn’t care anymore; she had finally found the perfect solution to freeing herself from her work chains while at the same time saving the company millions of bits in the process. Instead of issuing bonuses based on the amount of years and experience a pony has, she’ll simply issue one flat sum across the payroll; excluding the “important” ponies of course. Meaning a rookie and veteran work would each receive the same bonus, thus saving the company valuable bits!
“Brilliant!” Interest exclaimed once more, clapping her hooves in the process. “I’ll just write a note to the finance officer telling him of the new policy and have the clerks take finish the bonuses before tomorrow. And I wonder how I’m not C.E.O yet with all these amazing ideas of mine?”
With a small shrug, Interest Rate went on to quickly assemble a fresh paper and quill before writing a letter to the Financial Officer detailing her plan and the necessary changes that needed to be in place in the next couple of hours before the tomorrow. It was certainly a lot to do in a short time but it can be done, plus the extra bits saved from the new bonus plan would be massive.
It filled her fickle heart with glee!
Interest Rate finished, sealed and stamped the letter in under three minutes which sadly failed to beat her old record of 2 minutes and 35 seconds, but it had been a long day and besides who was keeping track anyways? Interest Rate carefully placed the letter in her saddlebag as she happily skipped up to her office door. With a quick and dance like twist of her body, Interest Rate gracefully opened the door and left her office in one movement.
With her plan in check and all other duties settled for the day, Interest Rate allowed herself to to hum a jaunty tune as she trotted down the hall toward the elevators. Perhaps if she wasn't humming such a jaunty little tune, Interest Rate might have noticed how the B.O.S.S Cameras were in creepy fashion all locked onto her as she continued down the hallway.
Behind the lens of this mechanical marvel sat the numerous ponies that monitored and tracked the daily progress of the entire company. The basement level of the massive complex was where the Gem & Steam Security Offices and monitoring centers were located. From here the security force monitored and responded to all types of disturbances ranging from common disruptions to massive, out of control riots and alien invasions... the latter being almost non existent sadly.
At one of the several monitoring stations on the level sat a group of 3 ponies, two earth ponies and one unicorn. Each responsible for several viewing monitors at once, always vigilant and ready to act in a moment's notice.
“Uh.. sergeant?” asked one of the earth ponies, never taking his eyes of the monitor that bore his sole interest. His sergeant, a somewhat pudgy, but still imposing unicorn turned her head toward her companion with only slight interest. She lazily eyed him before turning back to the plate of sugary treats in front of her.
“What Follow Up?” she asked more out of boredom than any real interest.
“Uh, well sergeant its... well...er...its Interest Rate.” He stuttered. Cadance knows he could have worded it better, but it was too late.
The unicorn mare violently rose from her well worn chair instantaneously. She’d hit the desk in her ascension from the chair, launching her plate into the air fast enough to hit the monitor above it, causing it to crack. Oh well, she had important matters to attend to.
The mare was upon his station like a dog on food. Follow Up didn't even have a chance to move before she had shoved him out of the way, causing his rolling chair to fall over. He landed with loud thump, letting a painful grunt escape his lips. Follow up lifted himself off the floor slowly since he was still feeling the effects of having the wind knocked out of him. He returned his attention to his work station to find his sergeant had commandeered it; all in the name of security of course!
“Sergeant Firewall its not what you think! I swear its not what it looks like either, but it does involve..”
“My little Interest Rate. Is that who its involves Follow Up?” Firewall’s voice dropped in tone to the point of sounding creepy and a bit like his mothers for some odd reason.
“Were you... staring at her flank !?”
“No! Of course not! I just...” He was cut off once more by his crazy, possessive boss.
“Just what? Enriching your sick mind with images of Interest Rate? Only I can admire my sweetie...”
“But she doesn’t even know you! And besides I only was paying attention because she was talking about the bonuses.” Follow Up managed to explain himself. Mentioning the bonuses had the desired effect; Firewall and Job Security looked at him with interest. Firewall was even wagging her tail with excitement.
“Bonuses you say! Is it already that time of the year already? Well out with it Follow Up! What’s our cut of the profits this year?”
Follow up collected himself. Straightening himself a tad bit before continuing. “Well Firewall from what I’ve heard there may be no bonus this year or just a very small one if we’re lucky. “ He took note of how Firewall’s wagging tail had stopped. “ She plans on giving everypony in the company a flat bonus weather or not you're experienced or a newbie... upper management being the exception.”
“Oh my crystals and gems Follow Up you had me scared! I honestly thought we weren't getting our bonus this year and I would have to wait to get my surprisingly accurate looking Intereast Reate crystal golem.”
“Well what about the rest of the company? Don’t you think that’s not fair to them in the slightest?”
Firewall gave the earth pony her best “I really don't care look” before giving in to his plea. “Alright Follow Up, I guess we could do something to save their bonuses, but aren't they already sealed and ready for mailing tomorrow?”
Follow Up nodded. “Yes, they would have but she ended up not finishing them. Interest Rate instead plans on having the Financial Department go back and make edits to the previous checks before finishing the rest. She plans on keeping the dept. until they’re finish with the corrections to make sure the new bonuses are ready by tomorrow.”
“Oh, well this is a problem then. What floor is Interest Rate on... never mind she's on floor 11 right now.” Firewall answered her own question once she recognized the area on the monitor. She lifted herself of the console, rubbing her muzzle in thought while humming to herself. Firewall held this pose for maybe half a minute before her bulb lit up.
“Don’t we have a small checkpoint somewhere around one of those floors?”
“Its floor 12 sergeant.”
“Good. Call them up and have them meet Interest Rate at the elevators, then have them detain her for theft of company property. “
“Theft of what?”
“The letter is written on company marked paper of course! I don’t know if its for business use or personal use but I do know she stuffed it in her saddlebags before fleeing the building.” Firewall then started clapping her hooves together like a school filly. “And I get to be the pony to book her!”
“But that's...” He quickly closed his muzzle once he realized Firewall’s angle. He shrugged. Even if it was another way for her to try and get Interest Rate’s attention then it really wasn't his concern as long as the bonuses were mailed tomorrow morning without the new policy taking place.
Firewall wiped the remaining crumbs of food off her coat before dashing down the hall toward the elevators, leaving the two earth ponies by themselves. Follow Up snorted bemusedly at the crazy, and slightly pudgy mare that was his superior.
“You’ve been pretty quiet the entire time Job Security. Tell me, what’s your take on all of this nonsense? Follow Up asked his companion. Job Security turned around to acknowledge Follow Up, but when he did his muzzle was caked in crumbs from the sugary treats Firewall was eating. The two locked eyes, staring at one another for a full minute while Job Security continued chewing on the candy he had in his mouth. Follow Up leaned his head over to side so he could actually see the bag of treats, which his eyes lit up once he could make out the three distinctive wrapped candies that marked it as “Bon’s Bon Bon”.
His eyes met Job Security's eyes with a pleading look, clearly a tactic he remembered from his foalhood.
“Can I have some?” Follow Up asked in the most appreciative tone he could manage without it coming of as begging... which it still sounded like it.
Job Security looked down at the half empty bag of delicious chocolate coated candy and then up at his co-worker who clearly loved it as much as him and wanted some. Job Security looked up as his co-worker and back down at the bag, needing some time to think about this matter...
He shook his head no.
The Life and Times of a Bit Monger
“Hey Gleaming Crystal? Can I ask you something?”
Gleaming Crystal struck the mighty crystal wall in front of him, lodging his durable pick into it. He gave it a small yank to check if the pick was firmly in place, which he nodded in satisfaction once it was deemed so. With that business taken care of, the sky blue earth pony calmly turned toward his waiting companion, giving the crystal pony his undivided attention.
“Yes, Shimmering Rock?” His nearly silk smooth voice echoed blissfully throughout the excavated cavern they and their fellow miners worked in. His voice was so enchanting and soothing to many, that some suggested he should turn to the field politics; his voice being powerful and captivating enough to turn many minds to his side. He could be talking about legalizing magical enhancements for the youth in sports and he'll have support for it. It was that bloody soothing.
The crystal pony, Shimmering Rock rubbed the sweat off his brow with a forehoof which only succeed in replacing it with grime from his daily labour. He looked to Gleaming Crystal and asked his question the question that had haunted his thoughts. “Why does your cutie mark nearly resemble the Element of Generosity’s Cutie mark? I thought it was illegal or something to have similar marks, let alone the same cutie mark.”
The earth pony lazily looked to the three diamonds that adored his flank. He had never given it much thought before, but had always wondered a tad bit himself but ultimately accepted it as proof of something more grand.
“They appear similar but are in fact completely different.” Gleaming Crystal replied simply which only irked his co-worker. The crystal pony sighed and then struck his pick into the wall, continuing his harvest of the shiny rocks the city and company were famous for. He kept this up till he finished filling his bucket to the rim before taking a break to continue the conversation.
“What do you mean they’re different? They’re the exact same! I mean for Cadance sake, they even have the same placement and color! What could possible make them different?”
Gleaming Crystal continued on with his work, striking the crystal wall over and over with the grace of an opera singer. He made mining seem high class with how fluent his strikes were, and it only irk the other miners more; mining was a stallion’s work and this earth pony was starting to make it seem … frou-frou. Plus it didn’t help that most of their wives just loved talking with him. Except Shimmering’s wife who by the grace of Candace never met Gleaming. Granted he never made any moves or advances and merely just talked with them, it was more about the principle of the thing. The stallion code, rule #34 - thou shall not be more attractive looking to another’s wife… or something like that. With so many being added everyday it was hard to keep track of every new rule, but there had to be a rule like that and he broke it!
Gleaming finished filling his own bucket as well, placing his next to Shimmering Rock’s on the cart. He produced a clean cloth from nowhere and proceeded to clean his muzzle with three perfect swipes of his hoof and just like that he was clean. Not a single speck of dust or grime was left on his finely trimmed and shampooed coat.
“The difference Mr. Rock isn’t one somepony can simply see. Its the kind that one must understand and notice on a smaller scale to truly understand and appreciate it.’
“So you don’t know than?”
“No..I… why do I even try to enlighten you with such insight at all?”
“So it’s toe-mato, to-mato?”
“Please drop this discussion Mr. Rock and let us leave for home.” The pair eventually fell into a silent walk back to the entrance of the cavern, passing many ponies that were still working or finishing up their shift before the night crew came in. They waved to a couple of the other ponies as they passed, one pair leaving while the other headed further down into the cavern. Gleaming Crystal and Shimmering Rock after 10 minutes of walking and maneuvering through the large tunnel, finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel that marked the end of the day and their path toward home.
By now the sun was starting to set, its light striking the massive crystal houses and castle causing them to reflect and adopt the sky upon themsevles. The warming effect it produced was unmatched anywhere else, only Luna’s night sky could compete with it in scale of beauty. The approaching twilight was simply breathtaking to many, and utterly mesmerizing to the few that understood and appreciated it for more than its outer appearance. Gleaming Crystal was one such pony.
He stood perfectly still at the edge of crystal cavern, content to watch the remaining twilight. Shimmering Rock shook his head amusingly at his “friend” and fellow co-worker, who after all these months he still never fully understood why he loved watching the sun set. He had asked on more than one occasion and only got the same old “You can not appreciate something simply for looks alone. If you can understand and appreciate the inner beauty as well then you can truly treasure it.”
It sounded very important and insightful words of wisdom to be learned and respected but then again it could just be more horseapples to make him sound classier than he really was. But whatever the meaning, Shimmering Rock did feel a sense of truth behind them and that was just enough for him to accept his friends advice. Taking his usual spot on the other side of the cavern, Shimmering Rock watched the setting sun fade behind massive crystal castle as they waited; Shimmering Rock waiting for his wife, while Gleaming Crystal… waited for the night like some vampony.
He was a bit on the gothic side like that, in fact if he flipped his mane over to left just a bit he could have the look down.
The waiting game was their normal activity once they had finally crawled out of the pit they called work. The pair normally watching the sun set first to pass the time before talking about various topics that currently held their interests. Topics that would range from business practices, currency exchange rates, books, to foreign happenings until Shimmering Rock’s wife arrived to walk with him home. It wasn’t like the city or walk home was dangerous that he actually needed the company, but more of the pair wanting a quiet evening stroll with their loved one before turning in for the night.
Gleaming Crystal waiting for the night so could turn into a bat and fly across the sky to eat a bug. Maybe even haunt a castle or two while he was at.
The trailing end of their conversation was cut short by the crunching of hooves on loose gravel, signalling somepony approaching. The pair paused their talk to look down the path that curved around buildings that housed their work supplies and lockers. By now they were just about the last ponies above ground, the rest either having already went below or were in the offices working on last minute files. That left only one other possible pony that would be out and about around the mines this time of day. The sparkling and glaring lights coming from the mininova of fireworks shooting off around her only confirmed their suspicions.
“Your wife is here Shimmering, in all her great and glowing... presence.”
“Yes Gleaming, I could tell by the epileptic light display she insists on always using, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Shimmering Rock admiringly countered as he watched his wife making her way down the path to them. Her proud amethyst eyes locked onto her husband the entire time as the firework display increased in scope and scale. Her self assured smile increasing in length as she watched her husband’s expression continued to be dazzled by her skill and display of magic… until one of the fireworks clipped the purple star ribbon that held her mane in its signature bun.The smile quickly left her face as she gripped the flaming piece of ribbon and flung it away from her, sending it flying off somewhere to her right.
“Stupid Ribbon! How dare you defile Trixie’s mane with your uncloth and...and… rather unimpressive display of being fire. In fact Trixie wasn’t even in the slightest impressed. Yes. Trixie only acted like she were scared to make you feel better about yourself and your not so great flameyness.”
Gleaming Crystal turned to his friend with that smirk he only used when he was trying not burst out laughing. He had an image to keep after all. “Wouldn’t have it anyother way uh?”
Shimmering Rock sighed, knowing he couldn’t defend his wife’s antics. It was a cute and bothersome quirk of hers that had drawn him to her the moment they first met. Perhaps his draw to her was because she had managed to singe his mane with a firework as well when they first met and then demand he pay for the firework he had inadvertently destroyed in the process?
Either way it was a...unique way to meet your future spouse. “Yea, I wouldn’t have it anyother way.” Shimmering Rock contently said. The smirk on Gleaming Crystal’s face morphed into a genuine smile.
“That is good friend. She is a… different mare from the ones in the empire for sure.” He pointed as the pair watched Trixie arguing with the burnt out firework, unsure why she had started insulting its mother. “ She’s not originally from the empire is she Shimmering?”
“Nope.” He said shaking his head. “ She’s wasn’t born here or even has family to visit here either. She originally comes from Equestria or one of the bigger cities. Which one though I can’t say since she was rather vague about it.” He paused to watch his wife now shouting at a very pure white cat which only aggravated it even more. He thought it might have been a stray but the coat was just too clean, plus the purple ribbon in its hair and the collar it wore confirmed it was a pet. Gleaming Crystal was chuckling thickly at the scene, like he knew what was about to happen.
Then again it wasn’t hard to guess either.
The cat shrieked madly, causing Trixie to volt backward in fright before turning to run. The cat giving chase to the mare who was shouting curses and threats of ill action toward said feline.
Shimmering Rock was about to chase after them as well when Gleaming Crystal raised a hoof in front of him. “It’s alright. Your wife is perfectly safe from the…” he lowered his voice before continuing “that monster of cat.” And with unparalleled mind reading abilities, started a countdown before Shimmering Rock could ask how he knew for certain. It became clear the moment he reached zero.
“OPAL DARLING! Where are… OPAL!” The siren call filled the air; a terrible and astonishing mixture of heavenly beauty and awaiting disaster.
“My wife is never too far behind her cat.” Gleaming Crystal answered the unspoken question from before. Shimmering watched as the cat was wrapped in an icy blue aura and magically plucked from the ground. His wife, Trixie, poked her head out of a nearby garbage bin when the cat’s death call fell silent. She immediately jumped from waste bin and magically rid herself of the smell and particles of trash that had clung to her coat.
“Trixie wishes...’
“YOU! ” The voice cut Trixie off in a heartbeat. She looked in direction it had came from and was about ridicule the voice when her eyes exploded in surprise.
“YOU! Why did you follow Trixie to the Crystal Empire and sic that wild monstrosity upon us?”
“I followed you!? You're the one following me! Turning my mane that ghastly color wasn’t enough for you, and now you’re trying to harm my poor, poor innocent darling with your magic!” The crystal unicorn angrily marched toward Trixie, only stopping when they were muzzle to muzzle. Both staring daggers at their arch rival in this childish squabbling, with both adding a growl in for good measure before backing off.
Trixie and Rarity’s eyes never leaving the other during the exchange as both slowly made a circle, trying to intimidate the other. It was about as cliche as one could get without having it take place on a dark and stormy night.
“Trixie.”
“Rarity.”
“Trixie.”
“Rarity.”
“Trixie.”
“Opal.”
“Trixie… excuse me dear?”
“HA! Trixie tricked you, so Trixie wins!” The eccentric mare randomly declared, causing all the built up tension to dissipate. Rarity lost her composure but regained it quickly enough to add a quick “hump” and flick of her nose upward, which only reinforced Trixies’ ego even more. Their husbands continued watching from a distance which wasn’t nearly enough for them. Shimmering and Gleaming’s muzzles were mixed with various degrees of uncertainty, fear, and slight excitement as the two beautiful examples of mares “fought”.
“Shouldn’t we…”
“No.” Shimmering Rock cut his friend off. It was strange but he liked watching this new side of his wife. It was similar but vastly different from how she normally acted...was he into domination!? Then again the thought of Trixie in form gripping leather sounded more and more appealing.
“I think I have some shopping to do.” He mentally noted quickly before focusing back to the “fight” at hoof.
“... and that is why a ruffian such as yourself could never dream of attending such a “civil” affair. But I do suppose you burning that dreaded cape and hat is a good first step dear.”
“Hey! Trixie did not burn her cape and hat on purpose! Trixie was sold faulty fireworks and was thoroughly wronged. If you weren’t such a stick, and self-imposed mare than maybe you would have a better career than slaving over dress for even more stuck up ponies than yourself.”
Rarity grinded her teeth in barely contained rage and murderous intent. “How dare you insult my passion and industry, let alone have the nerve to accuse moi as the self centered of the two! You dear, make Rainbow Dash look as modest as Fluttershy in terms of character. Hay, you can’t even walk anywhere without trying to catch something on fire.” She finished, blazing her signature smirk.
The words and way Rarity had said them at one point would have been enough to send Trixie over the edge in anger, but that was a long time ago. She had grown since then(mentally, not out!) and had gathered a bit of self control since moving to the Crystal Empire, and she prided herself on that fact. She couldn’t fully change her flamboyant ways even if she wanted to, but why would she anyway? After all it was a small element that made up and define who Trixie is, and that made it easier for her to stand out from bland ponies that surrounded her daily. Besides it had helped her meet her husband…
“Trixie’s husband is by far better than any “party” you would ever attend. He is so great in fact that Trixie will go as far and call him “The not as great and powerful but still great and power husband of Trixie the Great!” Gleaming Rock gave Shimmering Rock another questioning look, which he waved off.
“You’re married?” Rarity asked with surprise, and skepticism latent in her voice. Truly this mare couldn’t have found somepony that could tolerate her long enough to bind them in marriage. No. This mare is still the same mare she first met in PonyVille years ago, so the likely explanation is her mind is so far gone she created an entire separate plane of existence where Trixie is normal.
Yes, that sounded much better in terms of believability.
“Don’t be dragging me into this dear.” A voice called somewhere from behind Rarity, causing her to lose her train of thought once more. She turned to confront the eavesdropping pony about manners when she noticed who or actually whom were behind them a bit. Rarity even in this increasingly fading night could make out the shape and posture of her husband from here, but what she couldn’t make out was who was the pony standing next to him, and why he would say such a thing…
“Oh dear.” Rarity whispered when the fact finally hit her, which was only reinforced when Trixie replied to the stallion. She lost what was exchanged between the couple as her mind continued to process this rather startling new tidbit of information. While she was processing this an idea struck her; a way she could not only show off her own husband, but win this battle once and for all. A devilish smile graced her muzzle.
“Well, how coarse of me to be acting in company.” Rarity spoke abruptly and purposely. The Stallion and her husband during her thoughts had moved down the path to where the two mares were at. Her husband, Gleaming Crystal had moved next to her while the stallion with him began lightly arguing with Trixie. Nothing too serious, but just a couple’s disagreement which ended the moment she spoke. Rarity moved closer to the pair, noting the stallion’s perplexed look while her arch enemy wore a murderous tint in her eyes. Good.
“It’s simply a pleasure darling to meet you. Why, to meet the stallion that could tame a mare like Trixie must be one of talent and skill to pull such a feat!” She batted her elegant eyelashes for effect. Shimmer Rock blushed unsure how to respond to such praise and… beauty. Luckily for him his wife Trixie knew exactly what to say.
“ Trixie is onto your game and does not approve. Trixie will not allow you to best her at such an underhoof tactic.” The Great and Powerful mare stated with a surprising level of maturity that even her husband seemed lost as what to say.
That ended pretty quickly.
“Besides Trixie wouldn’t be able to live with herself anymore if she were beaten by Mrs. CabageTop.” The silence that followed was utterly nerve racking. The two stallions had moved backed several yards by now in hopes they were out of the blast zone. Gleaming Crystal for one of the first times Shimmering Rock knew him, looked utterly worried. His wife, Trixie, wore her own amused smirk at that unexpected and really well timed remark, but what scared him the most was how Mrs. Rarity was taking it. Even her husband seemed unsure how he should act that moment.
“Well Trixie dear, my husband…”
The stallions flinched the moment her mouth opened having expected some sort of verbnado assault, but what was just said was just as bad. An ancient and dreaded saying that marked a crucial time in a stallion’s life; one that either led to their hearts desire or led them banished to desolate and cold island of fabricate cotton. The couch in lamepony’s terms. Both ponies silently watched as their wives renewed their head-butting, knowing full well they were powerless to interfere or even try to defuse the situation.
“It’s your fault Shimmering Rock.” Gleaming Crystal stated calmly as his tone eerily matched the eye of an approaching storm; a warning of impending disaster approaching. Shimmering Rock wanted to rebut that comment but didn’t. Part of the stallion code dictated that a stallion’s wife was a reflection of themselves, which meant that whatever their wife did the stallion was equally responsible.
In this case Shimmering Rock’s wife had dragged them both into a mare’s fight, and that was liable to get one uninvited from every sports gathering in the empire. If he were lucky. A stallions entire social life outside of their home and only real excuse to leave home would no longer be available to them, leaving them at the mercy of their wife. It made living in the badlands seem like a really, really long beach, just with no water...and with giant pony eating sand scorpions. Such was the life of stallion with no…
“Trixie thinks this is getting us nowhere and puts forth a motion to call this a draw and return to it at a later date.”
Then again the empire does bring out some radical changes in ponies; perhaps enough to save said mare’s husband from social banishment by his peers.
“Hmp, for once Trixie I concur with you. This entire exchange had quickly spoiled and lost its merit minutes ago. Let’s agree to continue this when our husbands are elsewhere, say the public park by the school in three days?” Rarity suggested calmly, ignoring the looks from their husbands.
“Trixie finds this acceptable depending on the time. Trixie performs a small show around the afternoon, so maybe before lunch?
Rarity nodded. “That sounds perfectly delightful darling. That still leaves me plenty of time to make some final alterations for an order.” She agreed while starting down the street, her nemesis following suit. Both completely forgetting their husbands who watched their wives reminisce and catch up on what was missed since their last encounter all those years ago.
.
“They are indeed Shimmering Rock. Gems that are truly, truly, truly...outrageous.”
Author's Note
Alright after a really long break I'm finally back to writing. Its mostly been because of my laziness and me wanting to start so many more stories at once that I had to force myself to stop and figure out what I wanted to do next. But anyways that's all figured out now :) So enjoy!
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The Life and Times of a Bit Monger
The average foal is an estimated 100,000 bit investment.
“Dinner was just perfect.” Cadance thought to herself as she levitated a clean cloth to wipe the final traces of what she considered the perfect example of a meal. An amazing process in which Cadance had the privilege of watching from the very first cracked egg all the way to final dish being placed upon the generational table that had been passed down from mother to daughter.
Cadance watched as her husband and his parents laughed and gossiped of the finer details of how lose their neighbor’s daughter had become and how much shame (and money) she’s been accumulating. It was a topic the business mare had always been interested in, and perhaps even thought about venturing into but when she considered the amount of bits needed to set up a daycare for the mares…
“Cadance dear, when are you going to grace us with the gift every parent hopes for someday?” Twilight Velvet spontaneously asked ignoring the plastered look of horror on her son’s face. Her husband, Night Light gave a devilish grin that would make Lord Discord shout with glee; Cadance placed the cloth once more on the table next to her plate, before turning to her mother-in-law.
“Is it your anniversary already mother? I could have sworn it wasn’t for a few more months.” Cadance asked while pulling a planner from the little dimensional rift she always kept near her. She opened it to the current date and tapped her hoof with the box that clearly said “Dinner with parents” and nothing more. “I’m sorry mother for forgetting, I shockingly didn’t write it down…”
“It’s not our anniversary dear, and by present I mean…” She waved her hoof toward the two empty chairs across from Cadance” isn’t the table perhaps a bit to empty? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, I don’t know two certain ponies did something to fix this injustice?” Velvet hinted, hoping her daughter- in-law would understand.
Cadance took even more interest at the two empty chairs across from her that held her mother’s interest. She criticized their importance nd to Velvet and how they could be in shape or form be related to her? So, using her vast entrepreneurial insight to evaluate the problem at hoof, Cadance began mentally listing every possible pro and con the chairs had and how it could that effect Mrs. Velvet.
Night Light leaned over the table to whisper something to his son, Shining Armor, who had since lost the horror filled expression and had replaced with one of embarrassment. “Why does Cadance over analyze everything like your sister?”
His son shook his head. “To be honest I try to believe it’s because of her business nature and that’s how her business is doing really well, but sometimes I feel she’s a bit on the dense side.” Shining quickly turned his head to watch his wife when he realized what he had just said. To his relief she was still concentrating on the chairs and took no notice of his words.
“It shouldn’t be this hard to know what I mean couldn’t it?” She looked to the rest of her family who both nodded in agreement. The trio turned to Cadance who mumbled something about the wood density to age ratio or something like that, before turning to their little group once more.
“Zebra dear. She married a zebra.” His mother “corrected” him.
“Since she married that Zebra and adopted those two…”
“That’s it! That’s what you mean mother!” Cadance exclaimed happily, lightly connecting a hoof to her forehead.” It makes so much sense to the point I feel special for not coming up with it sooner.”
Twilight Velvet, Night Light, and her husband Shining Armor all released the collective breath they were holding. “That’s great Cadance, dear. So now that you understand, we were wondering when…”
“Anytime is perfect for me. I can always clear my schedule for family, how would next Tuesday sound?”
Twilight Velvet nearly screamed in joy at the prospect of finally being able to spoil grandfoals like she had always wanted. Shining Armor went red as a tomato when he heard this, and the constant teasing coming from his father about him being the pantless one in the relationship didn’t help his overall mood.
Twilight Velvet had left her seat and rushed to embrace her daughter-in-law and future mother to her grandfoals. “You don’t know how much joy it brings to my life to hear you say that Cadance. Nothing wrong with it, but after Twilight married that Zebra and crushed my dreams of having grandfoals…”
“They adopted dear so in retrospect they are our grandfoals.”
“Quite Night Light.” Velvet ended her husband’s rebuke without every breaking the hug. Cadance in the moment of all this delicious love in the air, increased the pressure of her hug as if she were trying to squeeze more love from her mother-in-law. Twilight Velvet paid no heed to this because of the news and was now beyond the effects of pain.
“I’m just surprised, but very happy for you both! To go out there and open your home to a complete stranger is no easy task to do let alone commit too.”
The echo of crumbs falling was the only noise being heard for nearly two solid minutes as the stallions looked in disbelief and shock at the pink alicorn’s statement. Twilight Velvet had impressively held her composure for the most part, the trembling hooves wrapped around her daughter-in-law were the only signs of any dark thoughts.
“What was that Cadance dear?”
“Oh I’m just proud and happy that you two would make the decision to go out and give a colt or filly a nice and loving home! Ill more than happy to baby sit for the two of again, and we can even skip the contract.” Cadance broke their hug and began clapping her hooves together in excitement Shining Armor hadn’t seen since the two had started dating. She was nearly dancing in her seat while Velvet collapsed into the chair Shining Armor had given up to his distressed mother.
“Adoption? I..I thought… I…You were the one supposed to be giving us grandfoals Cadance! Us adopting would defeat the purpose of grandfoals if we’re rising children again, and what made you think we were adopting?” Twilight Velvet asked having recovered from her partial heart attack. Both of their husbands despite the rudeness of it leaned closer to hear Cadance’s reasoning, bets being made under the table as they waited.
Cadance recoiled slightly at the surprising declaration her mother-in-law had made about her. She quickly and professionally composed herself once more before dispelling any such claims about her and her husband, Shining.
“Mother while I’m happy you feel that Shining and me could become parents and maybe even raise them well enough… who would watch them when we both running the company nearly 24 hours?”
Velvet raised a hoof about to reply before bringing it back down, unable to come up with a viable excuse. Cadance nodded at her understanding of the situation and continued.
“While I do have a very promising assistant to help me run certain aspects of the company, she is by far nowhere near ready to run it in my absence. The only shes running it today is because Shining and I were to be back in the Crystal State before tomorrow morning.” Cadance reached over to grasp Velvet’s hoof, who in turned accepted the contact.
“I know you want grandfoals right now but if we were do have foals, it wouldn’t be fair to them or you when their parents are constantly working and you having to babysit nearly every day. We have come along with this company and have accumulated enough wealth to live and raise any foal comfortably, but we just don’t have the time to spend with them right now. Do you understand mother?”
Cadance’s words were, to the surprise of the other poines present like the most mature thing to have ever come from her mouth; Twilight Velvet was for a lack of a better word, impressed. Her mild panic from earlier had cease allowing the aging mare to fully understand the meaning and maturity behind Cadance’s words. Velvet moved forward and gripped her daughter-in-law into another hug, this time one with no confusion behind its meaning and one to show how much she loved her.
“You know Cadance dear. When Shining Armor first brought you home to us, we believed you were going to be one of those stuck up, self centered mares that only want and want while never caring what other ponies think. While you have proven us mostly right, what you just said was the most mature and selfless thing I have ever heard you said and I’m even more proud to call you my daughter-in-law. Oh and while it's wonderful you’re thinking about a ponies possible future, don’t do it too often dear, it’s just a bit weird to hear it coming from you.”
Cadance loosened her grip unsure whether if she should be offended or flattered that her mother-in-law gave her a true heartfelt compliment. Deciding not to ruin Velvet’s attempt to create a “moment”, Cadance kept on hugging until the mare finally let go to wipe a tear from her eye.
“I don’t want to sound rude dear, but its getting late and you might miss your train if you stay much longer.” Twilight Velvet reminded her son and daughter-in-law of the time. The pair gave a surprised look at the clock and immediately began saying their goodbyes in a mad dash to catch their train before it left.
Night Light and Twilight Velvet waved the pair off as they galloped down the sparsely lit street toward the train station.Luckily it was the end of the weekend and everypony was in bed to go back to work the next morning so the pair didn’t have to stop once. They bought their ticket and boarded the train(which was empty) and took their seats next to one of the numerous windows.
They had made excellent timing with 10 minutes to spare before the train departed, and had decided to settle in for the night. Cadance leaned onto her husband, careful to avoid poking him with her horn. Shining Armor appropriately responded by wrapping a hoof around her shoulder to add a bit of warmth and lovingly placed a kissed on his wife’s forehead. His heart melted when noticed his wife small tongue hanging out of her mouth because of her near drunken love state.
And he felt a small wave of disgust when she started drooling on him.
“Don’t..be that way...Shining.” Cadance inspite of being near asleep and drunk managed to say a complete sentence. Her husband tilted his head down to look at his wife, ignoring her greening mane. Shining Armor sighed lightly before stroking Cadance’s mane loving, who purred her approval.
“What you said at dinner dear… did you really mean that or was that a lie?”
Cadance responded to her husband’s question by further burying herself into his side.”may..be… investment… long..term…” She mumbled before returning blissfully to sleep against her husband. Shining continued to stroke her now green mane being careful to ignore the increasingly jagged horn, chuckling at his wife’s words. He knew his wife well enough to understand her mumbled and fragmented words to create an understandable sentence.
“I would like to have foals someday Shining Armor, but they are an investment with a shaky and unpredictable outcome. In essence they’re a long-term commitment that more than likely won't return a profitable yield.” Shining Armor repeated his wife reply.
He smirked in amusement before placing another kiss just above her horn. “You are without a doubt the weirdest and craziest bug I have ever met, and I love you because of that.”
The moment was completely ruined by an even more extremely love drunk Cadance vomiting all over her husband.
Author's Note
Alright sorry for this rather short chapter. I'v been working on finals and writing for my other stories. Currently at the moment I'm planning a Monster Hunter Crossover! I hope to have the prologue for that by the end of the year, early January.
And for this chapter I feel some explaining is in order. Yes, Cadance and Chrysalis are the same pony. The reason for this is because Chrysalis in this story left the hive for Equestria at a young age, and now being grown as her queen instincts in full gear. So micro managing such a large company fulfills those instincts quite well. Chrysalis also suffers from Multi-personality disorder and because ponies wouldn't react that well to her true form, decided to adapt her other self's image.
So in lame terms Cadance is her other personality.
Thoughts and questions? Please feel free to ask!
The Life and Times of a Bit Monger
Dreams so high, I ought to sit by.
After the tragic accident that left its former Captain permanently ground bound ( the first major incident in recent memory), the WonderBolt Academy was all but abandoned.
For the first time in over a year, the sky above the WonderBolt Academy was filled with activity and commotion. The clouds temporarily being stored over the massive academy ground had been removed a month prior; new cadets had arrived and were assigned quarters while the reinstated staff moved like a fire was lit behind them.
All of this sudden activity came with the one goal- reopening the academy.
Trepidation hazed the air, many of its occupants eager to see this Pegasus landmark open once again, while a healthy few( 80%) worried whether or not the academy’s reputation could ever recover from this stain.
The biggest surprise to come was the reveal of not only the new WonderBolt Captain, but the former Captain who had come back to act as an advisor and assistant to the training. Many of the cadets cheered at the surprise opportunity to train under their hero, and that idolization only increased as the training began.
The news (and paid advertisements) had painted Rainbow Dash as a mare’s mare capable of near alicorn strengths and a pony of mythic feats, but the Dash they got wasn’t this all.. she was better!
Their Captain had received a prosthetic wing from the Twilight Corporation free of charge, and now didn’t have to actually perform stunts anymore. All she did was act cold, yell borderline profanities and criticize their performances from the sidelines almost like the Guard.
Many found the whole act exhilarating and a much needed change of pace than the standard drill and practice the Wonderbolts had used for years. Her act shook things up and scratched the itch some of the cadets had to join the Guard before settling on the Wonderbolts; at least now they could get the taste of Guard life without having to give three years.
Yep, it was nice of Captain Dash to go out of her way to add to the experience!
“No, SideWinder! You’re suppose to wait until Shooting Star has cleared before starting the downward spiral!”
“Yes bossmare!” the tan spotted pegasus shouted.
The rainbow mane pegasus huffed like an agitated bull, before looking behind her to follow the rest of her class, and to her surprise all 5 seemed to be keeping their spacing as they flew by.
After surviving yet another (on the job) accident, the ponies closest to Rainbow Dash had noticed a change in the mare’s behavior. Before, Rainbow Dash would constantly boast about her skill to any that would listen, but now she was more aloof.
There was no boasting, or flaunting of her achievements anymore. The smug playfulness Rainbow Dash wielded like a stick was gone; replaced by an actual stick she swung with a quickness just like her anger.
“Celestia’s burning sun Sidewinder! Pay attention to your teammates’ position, and not Dusty’s flank!”
“Yes, bossamare!”
Rainbow Dash had to fight her tightening forelegs, and wing muscles to keep the urge down to jump into the sky to show those cadets how it was done! And just like that her body slumped over as the willingness to outshine left her thoughts and muscles.
Ever since the accident, her flying career had abruptly ended resulting in a honorable discharge from the Wonderbolts. This early retirement hit the Dash hard to the point she thought about taking Cadence’s offer just to escape from her own failures.
So, Dash was beside herself when The Bolts asked if she would come back as a training advisor. She thought being back in the uniform and surrounded by 'the best’ pegasus kind had to offer would quell her angst of being a grounded pegasus- it had not.
She flexed both of her wings, eyes wavering on the featherless, metallic wing before turning away to watch her cadets.
That insufferable prosthetic wing kept her ambitions grounded for now and the foreseeable future. Unless, The Twilight Corporation could perfect their (rumored) flyable prosthetic wing by next year. Tomorrow. Until that day, Dash had to yell her voice out trying to instruct almost two teams of worthless candidates that flew slightly better than a butterfly in the wind.
“What I wouldn’t give to have Apple Bloom’s Express deliver a case of cider to Cloudsdale .” Dash thought, rubbing her temple with the good wing.
Ignoring the startled cries of her trainees as SideWinder likely cut off another cadet, Rainbow Dash reached into the inner pocket of her officer uniform and pulled out a crystal the size and shape of a common Junior Speedster’s medal.
Sensing her distinct magical signature, the crystal flared to life before diming to expose the scratchy image of a zebra hunched over a desk. The Zebra, with a quill in hoof, desperately fought the Celestial amount of secretarial work; his quill would scribble something down every 43 seconds before moving to the next parchment in the stack.
Rainbow Dash waited another ten seconds after that before making her presence known the only why she knew how.
“TwiCo calls this a spell? I’ve seen Earth Ponies casting better spells than this.” the result was instantaneous.
The neat stack of signed and unsigned parchments fell to the floor as the spruced looking zebra shot up from his deck, the quill snapping in half from the force of his clenching hoof.
“That was a complete fluke and that pony has since been proven a fraud!” he declared as he looked for the critic, before hearing a gruff cough coming from the right corner of his desk.
“Oh, hello Dash.”
“Long time no see stud. How’s the wife and foals?”
“Dash, please.”
“Ok, Maverick .”
“Better.” he sat down once more, moving the crystal closer to see the pegasus’ image better.
“They’re fine. Twilight took them to visit the princesses while I finish up some work.” he bit his bottom lip before resuming. “How’s the new batch?”
“They’re no me that’s for sure.” The image flickered once to show ten pegasi flying in two groups of five before flicking to Rainbow Dash.“ Some problems, but nothing I can’t beat out of them. I tell them it's my contractual obligation.”
Maverick stifled a laugh at the thought of his wife saying something similar, wondering if he should mentioned it at all.
Actually, no he shouldn’t.
“It works sometimes, but I think they’re catching on I can’t catch them and that’s the problem Maverick. I need to fly again.”
The zebra went quite, Dash could barely hear him humming as he debated himself, what it was she hadn’t the faintest idea. She was going to give him another 20 seconds before trying for his attention, but like the gentlestallion he was, Maverick didn’t keep her waiting.
“Sweeite Bot isn’t ready to start flight trials just yet Rainbow Dash. We’re still in the Alpha stages of testing the enchantments for the wings.”
“Sweeite Bot?”
His eyes widen slightly for some reason before looking his bare foreleg.
“Oh Celestia, look at the time! My afternoon meeting is about to start, and I must get ready. Nice talking to you Dash, I'll tell the family you called, goodbye.” and like the zebra faded from the crystal, leaving Rainbow Dash confused and more upset than before.
But Maverick is Twilight’s husband and so far he’s living up to that title.
Returning the crystal back to its pocket, Dash resumed her duty of managing the recruits by threatening to use her ‘contractual obligation’ if they continued messing up. Needless to say, they still continued to mess up.
Author's Note
Wow. This sure is a surprise.
My plan is to start finishing all of my currently published stories by the end of the year before posting new ones. Life and Times will be the first on this list with chapters focusing on the rest of the Main 6 and some other characters before wrapping up. Cheers!
The Life and Times of a Bit Monger
The Laws of Nature vs the Whims of Logic.
Mr. Sparkle stood silently looking out from the tinted window of his office, observing the small collective of ponies that had strangely gathered around the company’s main sign. Ironic. He had ended the call with Rainbow Dash on a lie, and now it seemed there will be an afternoon meeting.
“An odd bunch.” the zebra thought as he watched them, unaware of their motivations for this strange gathering. Maverick Sparkle sighed knowing what needed to be done, and what he was likely to face once outside.
As Co-CEO and husband to Sparkle Industries’ CEO, Twilight Sparkle, it was his duty to overhead all operations and transactions the company experienced while its official CEO was away. Sadly that also meant he had the troublesome task of being the face to their public relations program and that meant dealing with the strange circle of ponies outside his office.
Luckily, today was considered “non essential to the progress of science” as his wife had stated and thus only a skeleton crew was needed to make sure the fragile components of their work would survive and be available for the next day. It meant fewer ponies would be around to witness this meeting, and less pressure to maintain the constant professionalism required by his office.
A quick check of the desk confirmed everything was in order, and nothing time sensitive was being left unattended; he peered into the reflective surface of the crystal ball he had used to chat with Dash to gauge his appearance was acceptable before leaving his office.
Taking a sharp left, Maverick proceeded down the hall that eventually led to the office cubicles, and after another thirty seconds of walking found him approaching a T intersection where he made a right turn. Continuing past the communal water coolers and restrooms at the end of this hall delivered him to the main lobby of this floor, which acted more as a train hub than a fancy waiting room.
On a normal day, he would use the personal teleporter linked to the broom closet on the first floor, but today he wasn’t trying to hide from anypony and decided to take the elevator down. The ↓ button lit up, and a silent hum as the magical gears hummed to life to summon the slow metallic carriage from the first floor, leaving the stallion waiting for forty two seconds before the doors opened.
He quickly entered,stealing a glance at the complementary clock just above the numbered buttons before looking back at the closing doors.
The magic hummed and the metal room jerked once before the weight of gravity firmly grasped his legs as he descended. The music he sometimes heard in other elevators wasn’t present here, but replaced by his wife’s voice reading motivating quotes one might read to little foals.
That got a laugh from the zebra.This nurturing voice wasn’t the same voice that got all of them kicked out of their foal’s kickball practice for the foreseeable future.
A chime, and the slowing of gears brought the professional zebra back to reality just as the door parted. Even from here, Maverick could distinguish the shape of several ponies gathered around the fountain through the company’s magically tinted, light reflective windows.
“What do these ponies want?” he asked himself, as the automatic doors opened.
There was speculation as to their purpose of course.
Ponies loved to gather for numerous occasions like parties or special events, but far fewer choose to gather in front of a large corporation without an appointment. He had dealt with fringe groups in the past ( he could count them on his hoof) that have enacted displays of protest against the company for odd little things, but never caused any lasting damage. While not directly in front of the building, the little group of five ponies amassed by the courtyard fountain behind the “No Loitering” sign.
It was hard to make it out at first, but as he trotted closer the faintest sounds of whispering became louder. It wasn’t until he was just on the other side of the fountain, or his anxiety pills finally wore off that it became clear they were talking...
“...And the earth mother will bestow..”
...chanting in some ritualistic tongue.
Its meaning was lost when tried comparing it to his Equestrian tongue and Zebrican ears, but in spite of this potential handicap he knew there was no turning tail now. As the CEO and head of public relations, it's his sworn duty to handle any and all matters regarding the company’s or his wife’s public image. So, despite his growing trepidation of the chanting ponies before him, Maverick had a job to do.
His courage left when the chanting stopped and the small, but masked pony in the center finally noticed their visitor. Maverick’s mind began racing as he remembered the stories his grandparents often told him and his cousins when they were small foals of the masked mares of the Barren Lands. How these strange mares would use magic of eerie origins to lure foals off to who knew where.
“ONE OF THEM IS COMING THIS WAY!” He screamed internally as the stories and reality blended together.
The pony that had broken away with the obvious intent to use its voodoo magic on him was small, even by pony standards. When side by side, he was just a few inches taller than his wife but the green mare( obvious by her slender frame) stood just a head shorter which from a distance one could mistaken her for an older foal just entering adulthood. Her wings were smaller than most pegasi wings, but actually frail looking; almost as if they were rarely used for anything more than gliding from place to place.
Said wings fluttered briskly in the mild, and stale breeze but as quickly as they caught it, her wings fell limply to the sides under the strain of their own mass. The most obvious advantage to living with such an intellectual unicorn would be her vast knowledge of a variety of subjects, with anatomy being the favorite. It’s from this constant exposure Maverick became familiar with what made and didn’t make a healthy pony, and the mare’s wings.. well he retracted his earlier guess.
They hadn’t been used at all.This statement was only reinforced when he noticed the mare actually using her hooves to set the wings in place!
“Oh Celestia, they’re going to drain my life force to restore her youth!” silence followed. “Did I say that out loud?”
“Yes, you did Maverick and..uh.. I’m not really here for..your..uhm..youth. I’m not that old.” the mare quietly stated as she looked down at her forehoof making circles on the pavement.
The zebra stumbled backward, nearly tripping over his own hooves in freight. The creature pony had heard him and responded accordingly, or as one would guess a pony would act. But for supposedly being an enchantress of the dark arts, she seemed very polite and soft spoken, then again it could be a part of the act.
But that voice.. it seemed just too familiar to completely ignore. Maverick studied the strange and green pony standing just a pony length away as he pondered why the sound of her entranced his mind so terribly. There was only one that ever spoke like this strange enchantress, but he hadn’t seen her in years, but her size, mannerisms, and voice sounded so much like her to the zebra consider the impossible.
He studied her to the point she began fidgeting at the uncomfortably of his studious nature overruled his sense of self preservation for the small hope of rediscovering a long lost friend. The more Maverick’s eyes scanned the mare standing before him when he finally noticed the one thing he was looking for.
No..
No, it couldn’t be her could it?
“Fluttershy?” He asked and to his great surprise the mare nodded excitedly with the grace of a flying butterfly.
“Hel..hello, Maverick.”
He took a step back as the greeting hit him. It really is her.
“Oh my sparkling wife’s flank it has been too long since we’ve last seen each other! How long has it been since your denouncing of all things magical and your return to the unrestricted life of nature? Also you missed the last reunion and while we were sad about that we also understood it's a part of your new lifestyle and we accepted that.”
“Oh my. That is certainly..uhm.. very nice to hear, but I honestly didn’t return to any “unrestricted nature.”
The confused zebra gave way as his brain grasped what had been said and desperately tried to figure out a way he could copyright that phrase for later use, but ceased the notion when the green pegasus before him politely coughed.
He would have to ponder the phrase for some other time.
“Then where have you been all of this time?” Mr. Sparkle asked. Surely she had become a recluse and through her years of isolation managed to achieve some unseen link that allowed her to call these ponies before him?
“ I uh.. actually have been living in the same cottage since I can remember. You and everypony just sorta..moved.. and forgot me.”
“Forgot you? No, no, no. There is no way we would have forgotten a pony of your caliber and loving personality; who else but the caring and selfless pony of nature could have cured all of Ponyville when that Everfree flu went contagious?”
“That was Zecora.”
“When the parasprites...”
“Pinkie Pie.”
“ Stampeding cattle?”
“Applejack.”
That really is a low blow for anypony, let alone a stallion that prided himself on family and friends. Maverick rubbed a hoof over his gelled mane as he pondered how in the actual Tartarus did a group of friends end up moving and in the process left one behind. He remembered that night very clearly since it was a closed party thrown by none other than Pinkie Pie.
Everypony and their partners were invited, including Fluttershy. Drinks and finely crafted dishes of the purest sugars were present and consumed with gratitude fit for corporate brown noser, and one simply couldn’t forget the singing and dancing! His wife to be and him dancing their patented crowd dispersing style with Pinkie teaching the Crusaders the finer arts of culinary mechanical maintenance: Applejack, bless her soul trying her hardest to woo that oblivious unicorn, Rainbow Dash recounting her acceptance into the “more dangerous than and now“ stunt routine and Fluttershy...
“Fluttershy, what were you doing at the party?”
“The party? Oh! I was helping Pinkie with the Crusaders for a moment until they started using black powder as a pepper substitute. Well after that I went and washed up and.. It's embarrassing to say but I must have lost track of time for everypony had left by the time I was finished.”
“Wait, you mean you were washing up for basically the rest of the party? OH SWEET CELESTIA, THAT’S IT!”
“HEY! You can’t use that tone of voice on Flowers & Petals. She is, like the original..”
Maverick didn’t let the stallion finish before reaching for the one pen he kept in his pocket and tossed it at the offending stallion. The trick worked for a moment but in the end he was forced to tune out the rest of the fellow naturalist’s complaints as he redirected his attention to his yellow now green coated friend. He thought about explaining his actions to Fluttershy but decided it wasn’t really worth the energy, and so went on like nothing had happened.
“Fluttershy, we thought you were there when the idea was put forth and when there weren't any objections figured everypony was ok with it. But to fill you in Rarity was the one to suggest a change of pace, you know, a change of scenery to allow each pony a chance to flex their abilities.’ he looked over her shoulder to watch the hippies trying to organize themselves for something before continuing.
“Well.. when we finally noticed you weren’t with us, we figured you wanted to drop off the map and live in tune with nature. Actually, Dash thought that. The rest of us guessed somewhere along the line you went feral and became Queen of the Everfree Forest!”
“Oh! That is..ah...something.” The revelation caught the mare off guard, fighting the urge to retreat to the group of hippies that worshiped her rather than stand in the open.
Maverick thought she would seek comfort among the hippies, but instead Fluttershy lost that timidest and looked him straight in the eye.
“As you can see, that’s simply not what happened.” Her firm tone and quiet voice left the zebra feeling confused. The face mask and green, painted strips didn’t help to clear things up either.
“I see that now.” he told her, fighting the urge to flee from the ‘feral’ creature’ before him.
“Good.” Fluttershy nodded only once since she had to stop and readjust her mask.
They fell into a mild silence unsure what to say or do as they continued staring at each other, waiting for the other to pick the conversation. Maverick would do just that, ignoring his strips telling him to run from the masked spirit by asking the question both had on their mind.
“So..what’s next?”
“Oh, uh… I’m not sure. I..er we.. stopped eating in protest to...’ She paused to look at a spot on her left foreleg ”...bring attention to the matter.”
Her words stung the zebra knowing that their forgetfulness of their friend led her down this path of extreme activism. To see his soft spoken, and recluse friend that ate a bit too well , reduced to throwing hunger strikes to seek attention really tug at the heartstrings.
Movement on the edge of his vision reminded him they weren’t alone, and to his astonishment found the group of four sitting down to partake in a lunch of spinach leaf sandwiches, and water. He was about to ask Fluttershy about this when he noticed she had joined them eating a sandwich of her very own.
He tried understanding how eating during a hunger strike would solve anything, but shook his head off the line of thought. His dealings with Pinkie had taught him some things in life are best left alone. Still, the zebra found himself moving toward the group to confront his friend.
“What are you doing? Fluttershy looked up from her meal with wide eyes, rushing to finish chewing before using a wing to wipe the crumbs from her mouth.
“I’m sorry! I was just… would you like a bite Maverick?” She offered him the half eaten sandwich but was quickly turned down.
“No. no. But thank you, Fluttershy.” She nodded and quickly went back to eating.
With a couple free minutes, Maverick found himself trying to pass the time and decided to see just who Fluttershy's companions were.
They had backed off to let Fluttershy and him have some privacy, but kept close enough to maybe react if something was to happen. The four of them, three stallions and one mare, varied in size and race but not in the color department leaving him to question if they had dyed their fur.
Two of the stallions were tall and lanky while the third was in surprisingly good health, average height with muscles designed for labor leaving Maverick to speculate he was a recent addition. Their manes were a faded red with streaks of another color slipping through, increasing his suspicion they had been dyed; he noted how similar it looked to Fluttershy’s unkempt mane.
The mare of the group was the exact opposite- long legged, thin in the mid section while her mane was pampered. Add some wings and she could be Princess Celestia if she was doing a poor job at ‘blending in.’
The four chattered in hushed whispers amongst themselves, leaving the zebra to continue his observations.
The signs they had brought looked worn and used, keeping with the theme of old and reuse but the words they bore proudly left his brain hurting. The biggest, and clearest to read said “Save the trees.” while the other two said “ No Food, No Gain.” and “Eight Mow Cabbage.”
“Fluttershy, what exactly are you doing here.” Maverick asked, wanting an exact answer to a question he might already know.
Fluttershy finished her sandwich quickly, wiping the crumbs from her mouth with a wing as she straightened out her posture to address her friend. The display resembled a pony about to give a sell’s pitch than two friends talking, and while curious left the zebra feeling a little hurt by how far their relationship had deteriorated.
His own upbringing and corporate side prevented him from openingly showing this, and so adopted a similar posture.
“We…” She turned slightly so her right wing could point at the other four ponies, who reminded oblivious “...of the Wild World Force, or WWF, is a group dedicated to the protection and maintenance of all places deemed ‘wild or untamed’.”
Her deliverance was impressive. He could scarcely recall a time he ever heard her speak in such a tone, let alone say it with such conviction the zebra might question if this really was the mare he knew years ago.
“Wow…”
“Did you really think so?” She asked, trying to hold back her excitement behind the growing smile, and when Maverick nodded eagerly she relaxed. “Oh thank goodness. I, uh..practiced for several days…”
“It shows, Fluttershy. It really does.”
“That’s good, I was..well..worried it wouldn’t be very good.”
“Well, you had me convinced not to take you seriously…” He started but quickly retracted when his friend’s ears fell flat.
“We try really hard, when no pony takes us seriously I feel a little sad.” She took another step closer to whisper the next part, fearful the wind would carry it. “ Sometimes, I feel they don’t really mean it. That its expected of them, and that’s why they pursue this life.”
That reveal did cast the situation in a new light, and as Maverick looked over Fluttershy toward the ‘strikers’ he wondered if they truly hated the company or thought they did. Perhaps he could remedy this in a way both parties would benefit from it without having to get a spray bottle to chase them away.
In accordance with his position as Head of Public Relations, the zebra already had many ideas whispering against his ear for a chance at the opportunity to prove themselves the perfect choice. He felt his tongue escape his mouth by using the corner of his lips as he stood deep in thought on the idea that would be the most beneficial to him… to everypony, of course.
It was only when he caught movement nearby those life instincts kicked in causing him to flinch.
“OH! I’m sorry for moving, but you went still, I got tired of standing still and... are you alright Maverick?”
“YES! I mean, yes.” He lowered his voice when he noticed he had garnered the protesters’ attention. “ I might have an idea to rid yourself of these ponies in a way that would help us both.”
“Now, Mav. I don’t want to rid myself of them…” She looked back at the group to see if they were still paying attention, and only continued when she knew they weren’t. “... but encouraging them to move on would be very nice.”
With her approval, Maverick excused himself to pitch the proposal that could very well not only save his friend, but provide the company their biggest tax write off and public image campaign in years! His mind was running full of similar thoughts on what possibilities this could lead to, what deals could be struck because of this?
The group became more alert with each step he took until the understanding he wouldn’t stop forced them to herd closer in the effort to create an uneven wall of shrubbery. The sight alone had the zebra becoming paler looking at the formidable defense presented, but he couldn’t stand by and allow these protesters to eat in the middle of a hunger strike- hypocrisy!
The very idea a pony could do something so unprofound in broad daylight, let alone in front of a center or innovation riled him up.
‘The media will have a field day!’ he thought, already imagining the implications if he didn’t get this sorted out.
How could Sparkle Industries defend their reputation when they couldn’t even draw in professional protesters to protest? This matter was about helping his friend Fluttershy, but he would be lying if he wasn’t worried about the company’s future.
He stopped four hooves away, and sized each of them as he recalled the mental exercises his wife had shown him, and expanded his lungs with one last gulp of air before doing the one the second thing he was good at.
The art of dealing.
“Hello everypony! My my what a lovely looking crowd we have today, most excellent!”
Unbeknownst to him, the protesters had never actually protested before and only went on the words of others or their own perceived belief on how, what, and would happen during one. This wasn’t the reaction they had thought would be provoked, and the friendliness of his tone had them eternally wondering if they were protesting wrong. Maybe it had worked? Their clan mother had exchanged words with him for a length of time, and maybe convinced him to join them in their protest?
“Let me start off with a question for you, yes, all of you.” the nerdy zebra pointed at each of them as he spoke. “ How goes the protest, oh avid influencers of change?”
“A…”
“Most excellent!” he cut them off, leaving the group feeling more confused. He was in his element and continued pressing his advantage by switching to the pitch.
“But what if, hear me out. What if you expanded your protest to other companies than this one? What if I told you that you could?”
They listened intently, not really sure what they were supposed to be doing. Maybe this was part where the protestee defended himself before being subjected to more acts of protest?
“All you have to do is go the Crystal Empire.”
“Wha...”
“The Crystal Empire.’ he repeated, pointing at each of them while whispering it. “Crystal Empire.”
Maverick watched as the thought wormed its way into their psyche as the four mentally sampled the suggestion. They stood unmoving trying to process the idea and the benefits it would bring to their message if they took it to another city instead of keeping it local. But keeping it local was a proper and almost civic duty of a pony to support their community, and yet, the idea of reaching a broader audience sounded very appealing - too appealing.
“Why should we believe the mouthpiece of disorder?” The tall mare asked, the second oldest of the group behind Fluttershy asked.
“Because…” he started as he hastily tried to come up with an excuse, caught off guard by their willingness to question his proposal, but recovered quickly to address their concerns. You don’t make as head of public relations being slow. “...I’ve seen Celestia’s glorious light! Oh!”
The protesters reared back at his performance, not sure what was going on anymore.
“I feel so ashamed at what I’ve become and want to make amends…” Maverick threw his head back so his foreleg could rest against it for dramatic fashion like he’d seen Rarity do several times. “... this soul of mine is stained black. Black I say! But..”
“... what I’ve done is nothing when compared to her. ” Maverick only let go when one of the others, a short stallion with a small branch woven into his unkempt mane spoke up.
“Her?” the stallion asked while seeking the support of his fellow protesters who crowded closer to him, not because they were becoming concerned by the zebra’s antics, but because they were interested in his tale.
As he leaned closer, they retreated back to keep some semblance of distance between them. His muzzle didn’t change as he looked each of them in the eyes, leaving the group wondering if he even noticed or just didn’t care. They held their tongues as he revealed the mysterious mare…
“Princess Cadance.”
The four ponies continued waiting for the rest the zebra had to say, but as he held his breath it became clear there was nothing else. Their heads turned left and right to wordless address each other as they tried to figure out why the small princess would cause him so much grief, or how she could be worse than him?
“She exploits the good nature of her own ponies…”
“Her highness gives them three breaks! All in one day!” one of the other stallions pointed out, slightly impressing and aggravating the zebra at how informed they were.
“She harvests the offerings of the planet for her own gain!”
“Farmers do as well, thus providing for us all.” The tall mare retorted.
“She doesn’t say thank you!” Maverick at this point was becoming desperate at how difficult this was becoming.
“She compensates them with pay for their labor and additional benefits such as pay bonuses or other services they might like.” The short stallion from earlier added his own two bits.
Maverick was starting to mentally sweat as his plan was being picked apart by their unassuming, and vast knowledge of corporate operation. Every point he brought up was skillfully debunked with sound reasoning that shouldn’t have existed!
“Fine!” He yelled, causing everypony, including Fluttershy, to jump back from his sudden outburst. He threw his hooves up in the air from frustration before turning around to make his way back to his lost friend, stomping irritably away as he did so.
“Continue your protest of my company, and see if I care. Hey! Why you’re at it...“the angry zebra turned around “...why not go buy some of Cadence's overpriced crystals, and show her some love uh?”
“They’re not over priced.”
“That’s right, they’re like.. fairly priced given their demand.” The mare of the group added to her friend’s own statement, feeling the need to support her fellow companion. Maverick scoffed at their claims already knowing his sister-in-law’s business practices, and how she sets the prices of her products at a loss to drive out the competition. After all, it's easy to set the price once you’re the only one on the market.
This bickering between the two groups would have continued well into the night if it weren’t for one mare taking charge.
“Pl..please everypony, listen.” The dirty, dyed green mare asked as she appeared between them, causing them to question if she was there the whole time.
“Fluttershy!”
“All Mother.”
They tried to object, but were silenced by a simple feather placed on her lips.
“I stood by and listened to the argument long enough, and will not allow it to continue anymore. Maverick. Weathervane.”
The zebra and tall mare gave each other one more glance before responding to her as a scolded foal, leaving their respective spots to move next to the waiting pegasus. Only when they were next to her did Fluttershy’s smile return as she tried to wrap a wing around each of them.
“Thank you both for being respectful.” She gave them each a quick glance when she felt their muscles tensing for a possible rebuttal.
“Maverick. You are older, and likely wiser than them…”
“Likely?” She nodded
“Yes, maybe. Possibly. What matters is you need to be more respectful, when it comes to others with less knowledge of the real world.”
Her wing released the zebra so she could give the long legged mare a proper hug, which the unicorn returned after a moment.
“You’ve grown up..all of you.” She added as she broke the hug and gestured toward the other ponies listening in. “When you first came to me seven months ago….”
“Seven ?” Maverick asked himself, confused because he had assumed the hippies had been with Fluttershy for years.
“... despite making some mistakes, we learned from them. You four are so very passionate in your beliefs , but how sure are you they’re right? How do you know what Maverick said about Mrs. Cadence wasn’t true?”
Fluttershy’s words rang louder with them than any pony’s (except their parent’s) and got them to huddle once more to discuss this; if their All Mother was asking them these questions then there had to be some truth or purpose didn’t there?
The pegasus retreated until she was standing beside the confused zebra, he was trying his best to not harass her with enough questions to warrant a court order when the group dissolved. They watched as the smaller ponies stayed behind while Weathervane approached them.
“We have reached an agreement, and find your questions both conflicting and worrying. How can we correct this?” Without missing a beat, Fluttershy answered.
“A baby has to leave the nest sometime if they ever want to see the world.”
They mare didn’t say anything as she pondered these words for a good minute before nodding, her compatriots behind her matching the action as well.
“Your words hurt, but are very true. Perhaps, we should leave the nest as well?”
“You don’t have to if you’re not ready…”
“No. Our time with you has shown us much, made us aware there is more than a scary forest and a haunted town. We should see these places for ourselves.”
“Oh. Well, uh..the Everfree isn’t that scary.” Fluttershy added, feeling a bit attacked by the comment when Maverick chimed in.
“Ponyville isn’t haunted.”
“It’s weird.” the tall mare countered which her mentor nodded in agreement, before resuming the motivational speech.
“If this is your choice then I won’t stop you, you may always come back and visit.” Fluttershy went in for another hug, when the other three ponies rushed forward to join in.
Maverick watched unsure what was happening when the five ponies ended their hug, the four hippies and Fluttershy saying goodbyes before the group began walking away toward the town. His eyes followed them as the distance continued to grow until he couldn’t distinguish the four ponies from the other, before turning to his friend.
“What was that?”
“Nature. Isn’t it wonderful?” she replied.
“Thank Celestia that’s settled.” Maverick grumbled between his teeth as he looked back to further watch the group, but couldn’t find them anymore.
“It could have been a lot worse. I’m proud of them for taking that first step all on their own.” he turned to Fluttershy, noting she had taken the strange mask off and was holding it with wings.
“The first step to growing up and becoming productive members of a company?”
“The first step out of my mane.” She said so casually Maverick decided not to jump down that rabbit hole and change the subject.
“So, what now Flower & Petals?” Fluttershy giggled, happy to finally move on and talk to a friend once more.
“With them striking out on their own and the Crusaders watching the animals for now? I don’t know.”
The more she talked, Maverick finally noticed the stuttering was absent. He couldn’t place when the flip happened, but quickly eyeing her revealed a very not timid looking pegasus; Fluttershy stood a little straighter adding another inch to her height, while her body seemed, well relaxed and not ready to flinch at every noise.
She was a pony with a weight removed and finally free to move on.
“A pet shop.”
“Pardon?”
“I will own a pet shop in the city, exotics preferably. What?” She asked after noticing him staring.
“Nothing, just that… a pet shop?”
“They need love too, and to see the happiness on their faces when finding their forever home..” She nodded twice, more for herself than Maverick’s self. “ ...that’s good enough for me.”
The zebra kept quite trying to process this information of owning a business to not make a profit? It left him conflicted and he didn’t know why. His thoughts turned to his wife and her love of research, but there was always a drive to market something to make a profit...to fund more research.
He’ll have to devote more time to this revelation another day, but for now he needs to help his friend.
“Friends!” the suddenness startled Fluttershy, causing her to jump away from him and dropping the mask.
“We have to let them know about you! I’ll contact Twilight..no Dash first since she has a crystal and then...” He was silenced but a hoof over his mouth.
Fluttershy had tied the mask so it would hang over her shoulders to silence Maverick with her hoof, keeping it there until he settled before removing it. He tried to speak but she stopped it with one word.
“Shower.” He looked over her once more and realized his ignorance of her possible position.
“My stars, yes! You can use our personal shower on the top floor.” He turned to start back for the building, forcing Fluttershy to trot to keep up.
“Oh! Thank you, but uh… why do you have one up there?”
“It used to be for Twilight when she stayed late to ‘finish this one last thing’. But after having the twins, she rarely ever leaves home anymore.”
“TWINS!” He looked down into Fluttershy’s sparkling eyes, begging for details.
“YES!” barely able to contain his own excitement to talk about his foals “We have twin colts barely two years old…”
Maverick began telling Fluttershy all about the colts, and their own friends happenings as they entered the building. The zebra and pegasus falling back into their old roles as if the party had only happened last week.
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The Life and Times of a Bit Monger
Two different departures, but always the same destination.
The city of Canterlot, known as the jewel of Equestria and considered what a city should be was currently falling apart. The social structure that had stood since its founding nearly 800 hundreds years ago was splintering at its very core as the latest wave of gossip divided friends and family- the princesses Twilight Sparkle and Cadence were coming for a visit.
“DOOMED!” small crowds shouted in the parks and road corners to any ponies passing by willing to listen, which the magpies did.
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna followed suit and had alerted their guards to the potential world ending event. Not since Cadence and Shining Armor’s wedding had all four princesses been in the same place at the same time; it doesn’t help that the two newest princesses were ‘arguing’ to put it lightly.
Till this day Celestia and Luna hadn’t fully understood the whole reasoning and reluctantly had to stand back and let the two of them sort it out.
“Doomed!”
“QUIET !”
“Cease your howling and return to the yard whence you came !”
The Princesses commanded, watching and waiting to make sure the latest group of ponies disbanded before continuing their walk along the southern wall.
“This has to stop sister.”
“They are aggravating Celestia! Why must they shout all the time?”
“They’re just...I SAID QUIET .” Celestia shouted at a group of passing pegasi “We may have to send in the guard, Luna.”
“The guard won’t be enough. We’ll need the teacher’s guild and their substitutes as well, but I fear they won’t be able to write the time-out slips fast enough.”
“And all that paper, and possible hoof cramps, I feel the hospitals would be overwhelmed before too long.” Celestia added.
“Were it so easy sister.” the younger sister sighed, slumping her shoulders before perking back up. “Could we just feign availability for the week?”
“I’m afraid not sister.” Celestia stated knowing it was too late “Today was planned well in advance and to suddenly cancel would raise their suspicion.”
Luna fought against her desires to simply yell in frustration to avoid causing more of a scene; instead, she concentrated earth pony magic into her right forehoof and slammed it into the stone.
“Luna, STOP! We just had that wall repainted last year!”
“Sorry we are not. We regret the action a little, but not much!”
“Noted. Now, how do we handle their arrival without throwing them out?” Celestia asked.
The question left the sisters in silence as they had finally reached the wall that overlooked the main courtyard. From this height, the sisters could look over everything and by the amount of guards standing in formation below meant they had received their orders and were now waiting for the arrival of their ‘guests’.
A moment of brilliance hit Celestia, and after checking to make sure there indeed two of them leaned in to whisper it to Luna.
“Do you really think it’ll work Celestia?”
“ I do Luna. It has to work for our sanity.”
With that said, the sisters gave each other one final nuzzle before departing, Celestia gliding into the courtyard while Luna flying for the Canterlot Train Station.
The chariot had arrived on schedule carrying only Cadance to Celestia’s surprise, but nonetheless hid it as she greeted her ‘niece’ before the two of them left for privacy of the castle.
The two made idle talk to project the illusion they were busy and were not to be disturbed should a passing pony jump at the opportunity to catch their ears. This little talk and exaggeration of their movements only added to the scene of aunt and niece thrilled to be seeing one another until they reached Celestia’s Room before dropping the act entirely.
“It’s so good to see you again Cadence!” Celestia said as she scooped her ‘niece’ into a hug.
“It’s good to see you as well mom.” Cadence hugged back “ I’m sorry Shining Armor and I haven’t visited more often. We’ve been dealing with unions lately.”
“It’s alright dear, you have your own life and responsibilities that come first.” As they ended their hug, Celestia’s horn briefly flashed a golden tint followed by the distinct humming that meant a spell was being casted- Celestia released Cadance once the humming stopped.
“Now we can speak freely.”
Not needing to be told twice, a green flame engulfed the pink alicron to reveal a Nightmare Night caricature of a pony.
“That feeeeeeeels grrreaat.” Cadence moaned as she began stretching.
“Your carapace looks beautiful dear, you’re still washing under the plates once a day?”
“Yesss mom!”
“And your mane...” Celestia called out as she floated a brush over to them.
“... is fine!” Cadence claimed while trying to back away, but failed to escape the golden aura.
“No it isn’t. You’re not only a princess of Equestria and the Crystal Empire, but the CEO of one of the largest companies in the world and you must look the part.”
Too slow to teleport, and too weak to break the elder alicorn’s magic, Cadence resigned herself to the fate of having her mane brushed. An old hobby the pair used to do years ago when Celestia was just a little younger, and the Princess of Love was just a foal who enjoyed spending time with her mother.
“I missed this.”
“I as well, Cadence.” Celestia giggled as a memory came back “You used to rattle your carapace together every time I finished my duties early.”
“Not every time.” she grumbled, trying to hide behind some locks of her green mane.
“Every time! I would have to teleport both of us to my room before you engulfed yourself in fire.” Celestia began laughing the more she remembered, noting a few close calls.
“I was a filly!” Cadence tried countering but to no avail.
Celestia had raised Cadence (and Twilight to some extent) and knew the tricks and strategies.
She knew Cadence was simply embarrassed and felt any admittance on her part might alter this modern image she had constructed. Celestia knew this of course, and not wanting to sour their time together with ‘needless’ teasing changed the entire conversation to something more...practical.
“Braids.” Celestia started as she levitated the brush back to the counter top.
“Braids?” Cadence repeated the word as she turned around, seeking confirmation from her mother. Celestia nodded excitedly, even clapping her forehooves together.
Princess of Equestria, the Crystal Empire and CEO of C.E. Gem & Steam, Mi Amore Cadenza, found herself in a rare moment of meekness.
Ever since the ripe age of 12, Cadence had sought to establish herself as the ‘ideal’ princess; this ranged from noticeable personality changes to how she dressed in an attempt to resemble her mother. As in wearing her regalia and styling her mane to capture Celestia’s naturally flowing mane even if she couldn’t get her own mane to ‘flow’ just yet.
“I haven’t worn braids since I was foal.” she spoke, unsure what where this was going.
“I remember those days clearly. You would have the guards bring you to my room so you could wake me…” Celestia had moved to the vanity with two floor pillows behind her, dropping them directly in front of the mirror.
Taking the hint, Cadence followed her mother’s example and took her spot in front of the mirror. The golden hue of Celestia’s magic began working through the strains of her mane in preparation for the work ahead.
“...just so I could do your braids. Nopony else, but me..every morning.” Her voice radiated with the warmth of these precious past memories being relieved once more. Memories both alicorns used to cherish often.
“I was a filly, mother.” Cadence defended, this time with a little less certainty.
“You’re a grown mare, but you’re still my little filly.” Celestia countered as she grabbed the brush once more to work on the next lengths of mane.
Cadence didn’t notice. Something about the situation had relaxed her to the point of open reflection; an evaluation of everything buried and forgotten over the years, now only being rediscovered to the young alicorn’s regret.
So much had happened since the coronation and assuming the role of Princess of Love, that she could scarcely recall a time she wasn’t pursuing anything not related to work. The longer Cadance pondered, the more she…
“Done.”
“Already?”
Celestia nodded, taking a bit of enjoyment by observing Cadance’s surprise in the mirror. The ‘alicorn’ leaned closer to help magnify the image before her- she had to suppress a shiver.
Staring back was the reality she sought hard to escape. The thing staring back didn’t blink it's sickening green eyes nor did it try to hide the fangs protruding from the upper lip, or even try to hide the fact it wasn’t a pony.
The fire from earlier once more engulfed the creature in the mirror and herself entirely before giving one quick flash to reveal a pink alicorn staring back.
“Dear?”
“It's lovely mother.”
“Cadence, I…”
“Thank you.” Cadence cut her mother off with a hug an earth pony would be proud. “I promised Night and Velvet I would visit today.”
The moment she finished, was the moment the pop filled Celestia’s ears. The alicorn didn’t even need to look around for Cadence, because she could feel the distinct magical aura of a teleport.
She was alone.
The 1:45 pm train to Canterlot arrived right on time like it always did, at 2:00 pm.
The lumbering contraption of iron, and magic infused ley lines whined and hissed as it slowed to a complete stop. The faint explosion of steam forced the eager ponies trying to board back from the platform’s edge; another release of steam came from the engine’s top, creating a high pitched scream to signal its arrival and the passengers may disembark.
Standing by a set of pillars held the station's roof a deep, sea blue pegasus mare watched the spectacle with an awed annoyance.
The beast was loud, ugly in design, and required a specialized knowledge of carving ley lines just to power the thing! Its size alone is an eyesore to look at, and being nearly two Celestia in height made the train impossible to transport without using the iron tracks or a great deal of magic. Everything about the machine excreted wasted potential.
The wheels, she noticed, screeched every time it braked with the piercing intensity of a unicorn’s horn being dragged over a chalkboard. The constant need to pass steam left the air humid and thick making the whole platform reek of wet ponies as they fanned, or patted their fur to keep it from sticking. Added to this was the wailing whistle going off every couple of minutes, either seeking attention from the crowd or trying to warn ponies.
Whatever the reason, it only added to the assault of the senses which left the mare wanting to return home. But something about the construct left her feeling...excited.
“I want one.” the words fell from her tongue like a sour candy.
Ponies in drove exited their cages in mass, and onto the platform with many dispersing to every marked exit, leaving only a few scattered groups embracing some of the former occupants. Her eyes scanned the length of the train looking for any stragglers, before looking around the platform for her charges.
“I swear…” She whispered before removing the slip of paper nestled between her left wing feathers.
On the pristine piece of parchment, the impeccable scribble of her sister said “2pm, platform 2 ” .
She looked up and found the platform had thinned out even more leaving a few employees milling about.
‘Did they miss the train?’ The thought immediately crossed her mind, but was held back only by her knowledge of who she was waiting on.
Realizing she’ll have to search for them, the pegasus had taken one step from her vantage point between the two pillars when she caught new ponies in her peripheral vision. Standing in between the pillars next to her where the three ponies she was looking for, the two zony foals crowded their mother’s legs as the stares of what few ponies left increasingly bothered them.
Their mother returned these stares with vengeance.
“Shame.” she thought as she approached, noting the feeling of magic being summoned the closer she got.
“We’re not bothering anypony standing here.” the harshness took the pegasus by surprise, she’ll have to ask about that later.
“We see that, but confess perhaps you had missed the train?” the unicorn’s head twisted slightly at the phrasing, but the magic floating around them remained at the ready.
“That’s none of your concern ma’am.” Her horn even flickered.
“Indeed, the concern is ours to bear for my sister and I would be upset.”
“Wait…” the magic in the air began to dissipate as her muscles relaxed, even the foals seemed less distressed.
“Hello dear Twilight. We have not seen you in some years, and…” She glanced at the foals “... assumed you were busy.”
The comment would have gotten an amusing reaction from the unicorn years earlier, but becoming a mother and founder of the leading company on magical applications required some degree of maturity.
“Try carrying twin colts for 321 days while running the fastest growing company on the continent.”
“Try it while founding a nation.” she couldn’t help but smile at the ‘one upping’ she had just delivered.
Twilight’s body relaxed as her muscles loosen, abandoning the defensive posture. She stood a little taller since she wasn’t crouching protectively over her foals, who noticed the sudden change in their mother and started leaving the safety of her legs. Luna gave them a smile, and it sent them scurrying back behind Twilight’s legs.
“They’re not used to the attenti...strangers.” She changed the word quickly, but not quick enough to hide it.
The disguised princess didn’t address this feeling no need to ‘air’ any matters in public. If Twilight didn’t want to speak of such matters then she wouldn’t pry needlessly where she wasn’t wanted.
“Not unusual for their age, they will learn as they grow.”
“Of course.” Twilight’s response was so low, it was nearly a whisper.
“Reminds of my own foal, Trotting Line. He always knew when and when not to cross the line of no return.” Twilight’s ears swiveled up, interested in this new information.
“You were serious?”
“Why would I not?”
“I just..well, I never read nor heard of Celestia and you having foals.”
“The birth was long ago for us, and for records to survive we would be surprised. Sister is another matter- she eludes our own questioning.” Luna realizing they were still very much in the station briefly reversed her disguise to create a silencing bubble around them.
Even with the bubble now surrounding them, Luna still felt the need to lean closer to whisper the information.
“Cadence.”
“Cadence?” Twilight repeated, her ears flattening some in response.
“Yes, Cadence. She is my niece, but I know so little of her conception.”
“Luna. The foals.” Luna nodded.
“Indeed, the foals are beautiful, but this is about Cadence. I know not of her sire.”
A lapse is created when Luna (still in disguise) averts her attention to the sudden influx of ponies making their way onto the station platform, and Twilight Sparkle didn’t ask any questions.
With the rising numbers of ponies came the glances and hushed conversations about the half breeds, forcing the unicorn to cast her own glares once more. This worked, forcing the ponies using their hall to create a berth between them until the ponies practically hugged the opposite wall.
Luna noticed this and mixed with her own unease of crowds declared it was time they returned to the castle to relax and continue the visit. With no reason to stay, Twilight agreed, taking her place by Luna’s side at a slower pace to let the two colts walk safely between her legs.
Twilight felt the residue of an used spell, but only for a split second. Whatever spell Luna cast, she was thankful for it because the stares and whispers that had harassed her family finally ceased.
View Online
The Life and Times of a Bit Monger
The Looking-Glass fractures, but I still see you.
“Hello? Yes, we’re here. Just a minute!”
These were the words Cadance heard through the door while she waiting for the pony to answer.
After her sudden departure from the castle, Cadence had assumed one of her more ‘outgoing’ forms she used when wanting to avoid drawing attention- a rare occurrence. With her mother wisely choosing to leave her be, the disguised alicorn wandered through the city to clear her mind and gather her thoughts. This little venture drew her through Canterlot’s Marketplace, snaking back up to one of the few parks in the city, before turning onto one of the few ‘roads’ reserved for ponies with just a few too many bits.
One of Canterlot’s more refined residential living areas known as New Light.
Growing up, Cadence had always loved the city names and how they reminded her of Celestia or acknowledged her in some form, but now the names seemed tacky. Too flank kissing to be honest. Yet, while trying to distance herself from her mother, Cadence ended up coming back to one of her neighborhoods in search of the comfort she sought.
The clipping of hooves hurrying to the door grew steadily louder until the heavy breathing of a slightly out-of-shape mare turning the door knob drowned the world around her. Two jiggles loosen the knob out of the frame, breaking the barrier that separated the still disguised alicorn from her objective.
“Hello. Can I help you?” a unicorn answered the door, her dulled chalk hued fur contrasting brightly against the door’s vibrant green paint.
“Yes, you can Mrs. Velvet.”
“You have me at a distavange Miss…?
“The one married to your son.” Cadence smiled “Hello mom.”
The statement revealed everything to the suspicious unicorn, nearly causing her to stumble backward in shock.
“NIGHTY! CADENCE IS HERE!”
Cadence quickly rushed inside, nearly pushing Velvet aside to prevent anypony passing by from seeing her.
“Not so loud!” She hissed as the green flame tore through her disguise to reveal the pink alicorn underneath.
“Careful with the rug dear!” Velvet reminded her daugher-in-law as she closed the front door.
Now in her familiar pink form, Cadence casually began taking in the room around her with a foal like glee on how little had changed.
The living room used to entertain guests and themselves still housed the two faded blue couches she had sat on when Shining brought her over to formally announce their relationship. Looking closer near the leg rest, Cadence could make out the repair when Twilight accidentally ran her horn through trying to ‘save her BBBFF from the strange mare’.
Next to the two couches were the two corresponding coffee tables being held up by the stacks of books Velvet and Light used in their respective research. How the tomes remain in excellent condition despite being on the floor for years led Cadence to believe either an enchantment was placed on each individual book or the floor itself.
It would explain why the floor was always shinny and spot free.
Looking toward the walls, she found the same pictures that told the life story of this family. When they were young, married, had foals, family reunions, iconic moments of the foals growing up, and some of the more recent events- Shining Armor and her wedding.
‘None of Twilight’s wedding.’ Cadance noted, still uneased by how hard this was still affecting Velvet. Unlike the wall that held pictures of Shining and her, there were none of Twilight after leaving for Ponyville.
“Oh dear! It's SO good to see you.” Velvet shouted with glee as she practically tackled the alicorn with a hug.
“Believe me, I feel the same way.” Cadence returned the hug with a similar excitement, lifting the older mare off her hooves.
“Cadence!”
“I’m just so happy.” she gave a small whirl with the mare still in her hooves before setting her down, both mares laughing from the contagious feeling of glee brightening up the room.
Night Light came downstairs around this time to find his wife and daughter-in-law giggling uncontrollably about something. He waited until it seemed they were about done before going to greet them.
“Hello Cadance.”
“Dad.” She greeted the stallion with his own firm hug.
The three ponies shifted their attention from greeting each other to moving to the kitchen where the dining table was located. Cadance and Velvet took a seat while Light opted to put on some tea, giving the mares a chance to catch up. He was content listening to them exchange the gossip between them, just happy to see how Cadance brought the spark back into his wife’s eyes.
He had just filled the kettle with water when he heard his name.
“Pardon?”
“I said, do you remember when Cadence and Shining invited us to the Crystal Empire?”
“How could I forget?” He placed the kettle on the warming burner, before turning to address his wife and daughter-in-law. “ That was an adventure worthy of a novel.”
“Please hon.” Velvet rolled her eyes with a slight exaggeration to pronounce the absurdity of it. “Even Daring Do couldn’t get caught up in that mess as ridiculous as that, now Ahuizotl on the other hoof…”
“Why would he ever leave the humid jungles for the blistering cold of the Empire?”
Night Light and Velvet turned to their daughter, waiting for the other to speak up when the older, unicorn author took up the task.
“That’s the question isn’t it dear?” Velvet asked as she began brainstorming a possible new title, using her family to bounce ideas off. ”Maybe it’s takes place after book #28, right after losing The Nightmare Instruments to Daring…”
“Isn’t that the one where she had to stop Ahuizotl from gathering the cursed instruments of Nightmare Moon?” Night Light asked while opening the cupboards to grab three cups for their tea, looking for the jar of sugar as well.
“I thought that was the plot of the spin off ‘Heirs of the Dark Orchestra’, when followers of a dark cult used siren magic to bend ponies to their wills?” Cadence chimed in. While not completely familiar with all the books, but having read enough of them to remember most of the series plots.
“Close, but not it. They infused the magic into their instruments while The Nightmare Instruments were cursed artifacts used to awaken many of The Nightmare’s generals.” Velvet quickly got up from the table to rush into the living, where small curses were carried on the back of the wind.
Cadence and Night Light face each other silently asking what was happening when a loud cry of excitement broke the silence, and a heavy set of hooves carrying their owner back to the kitchen. Velvet came hopping in with two folders bursting with loose papers.
“It’s here somewhere.” she spoke more for her own sake than that of her listeners, while using her magic and hooves to sort through the two folders.
Night Light watched until the kettle began whistling loudly forcing him to focus on preparing their drink while Cadence was left with the task of ‘helping’ Velvet find whatever it was she was looking for. This meant the alicorn was stuck sorting the sheets deemed ‘not it’ into two separate piles to return to the folders at a later time; Velvet quickly tore through the dwindling folders, Cadence casually skimmed some of the sheets until she read a spoiler of an unnamed Daring Do book before shifting her attention to Velvet.
“What are you looking for, mother?”
“It’s the outlines for both books…” the mare raised a sheet to better read it before setting it on the table away from the rest “... so I could reference them for this new idea.”
“You’re really serious about this book.”
“Of course I am dear, this is the first real inspiration to hit me in two years. I still get fan-mail asking when the next book is coming out, and now I might have a real answer!”
“Well, I say this calls for a celebration.” Night Light declared as he levitated the three cups and saucers onto the table, placing them toward his end to give his wife all the room she needed.
Cadence and Velvet’s ears twirled up at suggestion and what it could mean.
“What kind of celebration?” Cadence asked as she abandoned sorting the sheets, while Velvet found the last sheets she had been looking for.
“That depends on the two of you, but I’m feeling cake might be in order?”
“Cake is good.” the alicorn spoke up, only to be turned down by the matriarch of the family.
“What kind of cake?” Velvet questioned as she began collecting the excess sheets from Cadence.
“How about lemon?” she shook her head at the suggestion.
“How about carrot? Chocolate?” Once more she shook her head no, causing the alicorn to slump onto the table. Having known the family for years Cadence knew the couple well, and how picky her mother-in-law could be meaning the cake might not happen if the mare couldn’t decide what she was in the mood for.
This left little for the alicorn to do as her ‘parents’ increasingly became irritable by the lack of progress.
From her spot on the table her eyes roamed from Night Light to Velvet and back again as they countered the other’s suggestion with another one of their own.
While annoying for her, Cadence did find the odd habit enduring for the simple reason the two were still able to act like the foals they were when they first met. It showed all that preaching from her side hustle as a romance author was right, that the key to a lasting relationship is by building a foundation upon the rules of the playground- name calling.
“...or the love of a good argument.” she thought as she quietly began sitting up, watching her two parent-in-laws switched gears.
The disagreement over which cake flavor to get had been abandoned for the more classical schoolyard game of name calling. Any rational pony would be trying to prevent the conflict from escalating further, but Cadence knew these two and noted how their words weren’t ill meant. The air used to expel them wasn’t laced with malice, or an intent to cause harm, but were flung with the intensity of a foal playing.
This meant her departure from the table went unnoticed.
Cadence left the kitchen, leaving Velvet and Night Light to their word game for the quiet sanctum of the living room turned office/storage. Being careful not to knock over one of several stacks of books, she made her way through the organised cluster to the stairway that led to the second floor.
As she climbed the stairs, the alicorn noticed her parents had shifted their focus once more from name calling to what sounded like a business meeting, but of what she couldn't hear very well. This is supposed to be a vacation, and by her mother, Celestia, won’t ruin it with more business talks.
Appearing on the second floor only made the transition more apparent when her parent’s random conversation became nothing more than muted sounds in the dead silence. Up here held the other three rooms in the household which were correctly used as the family’s bedrooms; to her left were two doors with the right having a single door, meaning the foals had the rooms on the left while the parents took the right.
The first door directly by the stairs was a room she was very familiar with. Only three steps were required to reach the door, and with a single flick of Cadence’s magic propelled the door open to reveal a room far different than she remembered.
Where the Noble size bed used to be were two desks of similar styles, but different makes with the one directly in front of her being designed for actual work. A leveled top made from magically reinforced wood to support even more folders with paper bursting out, two empty ink jars, an inked caked quill resting in one of the jars, and two book drafts in various states of edits left open for good measure.
Besides having eight drawers the desk was as basic as could be, but the second desk parallel to it was anything but a basic desk. This desk just by appearance alone strutted an elegance born from wealth being hoof-carved from Imperial Red Oak imported from the other continent. Its similarity with the old, but well worked first desk led the alicorn to believe it was a special commission on Velvet’s part to eventually replace the old one.
Until that time, the two desks would work together in service of their owner.
Cadence eyes left the desks for now to scan the room, but found nothing else out of the ordinary besides being composed of old furniture she had seen since her foal sitting days. A single tall, and narrow bookshelf was nestled in the opposite corner where it displayed a few first editions of the original Daring Do short stories, many reference books covering history, math, pegasus flying techniques, art, pony, griffon, zebra, and buffalo mythos, but very bottom shelf held only three albums.
These albums the alicorn recognized as the complete family photo albums ranging from each of Velvet's and Night Light's grandparents, to their own foalhoods and adulthoods, and finally their own life together. The fourth album was a rumor at this point, but if it were to ever manifest would likely contain the histories of both their foals and their spouses life.
Shining Armor loved taking pictures when he could, and stored them in a simple fabric lined box should he ever get the call from his mother.
This sort of pattern repeated itself with the other furniture in the bedroom turned office, mostly with the many photos hanging all over the wall. Right above the desk were two family photos, the first being of Night Light, Velvet, a early teen Shining Armor, and a very young Twilight. By their age, Cadence would guess it was right before she was hired to foal sit Twilight by suggestion of her mother. Celestia found the idea enduring to have her daughter watch over her newest student, but looking back a certain unicorn stallion might have been the main reason.
“He still looks like a dork.” she said with bemusement, recognizing the pose he struck as something from one of his table game.
This happiness immediately faded when she turned to the second photo that hung over the newer desk- another family photo. This time all the ponies were considerably older, Velvet and Night Light carrying a little more weight around the waist, a few more wrinkles around the eyes, and a tad more graying in the mane while Shining Armor had filled into his role as Captain. No longer looking up, Shining had reached the same height as his father with the addition of some toned muscles like an earth pony, the flowing mane of an unicorn noble, and the disciplinary form of a pegasus. Truly a magnificent specimen enough to still make the pink alicorn weak in the knees all these years later.
A wonderful picture on its own, but it was who wasn’t in it that ruined it.
Standing next to Shining Armor was his newest bride, and the very same pink alicorn standing in his old room turned office. At the time of the photo, she wasn’t aware of what was happening behind the scenes until nearly two weeks later, but her LSBFF wasn’t present. Cadence remembered asking about her absence and their uncomfortable looks and shotty response should have screamed something was amiss, but she chalked it up to being busy.
Since that day, she only saw Twilight twice before losing contact with her for the last four years.
“Something needs to change.” Cadence stated as she glanced at the first photo of the family, eyes settling on the little filly excitedly laughing. “I miss my little sister so much.”
The trek back to the castle was hindered by several detours, made by Luna’s insistence.
“Think of the foals.” she told Twilight while still disguised.
This was taken as a jab against her as a parent, but as the three of them followed her friend found the accusation was completely unjust. The route taken weaved through several side paths that avoided the main, more crowded route and led them on a sightseeing tour; she felt the foal’s excitement as they quickly ran underneath and between her legs, their earlier timidness forgotten at the new sights and smells.
Her younger years spent living in Canterlot had been composed mostly of her studies in Canterlot Castle with Princess Celestia and home...
Now her time was spent between running her research institute and her family. A life she wouldn’t trade for anything even if it meant losing one to gain one.
“This path leads to a favorite spot of mine Twilight. One I discovered by mere chance when helping a foal conquer their fear of the desert pit.”
“A desert pit?”
Luna nodded. “Yes, the box of sand next to the foal exercising equipment.”
“Oh! You mean a sandbox.” Twilight corrected, finally understanding why a foal would be dreaming of a desert.
“Perhaps, but the concept of willingly submerging yourself in sand eludes me.” She commented as they made another right turn, ignoring more looks as they walked by.
The new path was much the same as the earlier ones, only this time more ponies began appearing forcing Twilight more on the defensive as her foals continued drawing attention. Unlike the train station, no pony outright called her names or bothered them feeling the simple glances were enough to sate their curiosity.
“How much longer?”
“It's just a tad further if I remember Running Light’s directions.”
“Why are you insistent on showing me this park?”
“Simple my dear friend, foals enjoy parks.”
Princess Luna, still disguised as a pegasus just released from a long night at the office, the manebun began fraying from the ‘long hours’ of paperwork. That touch being the insistence of her personal secretary to give the guise a more subtle and realistic touch to help avoid too much suspicion. The little patches of matted fur only improved the look of an overlooked night shift, and by the looks not aimed her way proved the disguise was working for the moment.
“Twilight, you are restless.” Luna noted as the two mares watched the zony foals chase each other a gallop away.
“Tell me more of Cadence.” Luna shifted her eyes from the foals to the other pony occupying the bench, scanning her posture for any obvious signs of discomfort and when she found none decided to reveal what she knew.
“You knew my niece longer than we have…” She caught a slight twitch of the unicorn’s eyes “...yet my own experiences with the commerce baron has unearthed little to explain her origins.”
“The official response stated Celestia had found her orphaned while touring the Northlands during rumors of increasing wildlife attacks.” Twilight sat up and crossed her forehooves, never taking her eyes off her foals as she did so.
Luna returned her attention to the young mother next to her, noting how her posture had relaxed only slightly. Now that the topic had been turned to a problem that relied on an actual discussion not involving her family, she began opening up more. Twilight's right ear twitched once before continuing with her point.
“Like many ponies I’d accepted this as fact for many years, but after certain events have begun questioning its authenticity. A few noteworthy instances come to my mind, I had brushed them off as the product of two ponies in love when I was younger. Now a little older and having experienced the joys of being a pony in love, I have safely concluded Cadence is an alien or the two of them have very selective tastes.”
“A being from my very own stars? Now that would be something dear Twilight, but perhaps you are simply like myself?”
“What do you mean?”
“That you are too old fashioned.” Instead of an overly expressive rebuttal or the bodily expressions of an embarrassed mare, the unicorn only continued to surprise the disguised alicron. Twilight only closed her eyes, the only time she took her eyes off the foals, and nodded.
“I’ve been told that a few times, mostly by AppleJack.”
“You have matured gracefully young Twilight.” This earned a slightly snort of amusement from the unicron.
“I’m nearly 30 years old princess.”
“And I quickly approach the point of being classified an ‘Age’ by historians, but you don’t see me acting the part, no?”
“Was that a joke?” Twilight asked as she tried hiding back her own laughter at the absurd idea.
“Unfortunately, it is not a jest. it During an academic gathering, one of the young scholars lacking the proper respect for their seniors made the comment of measuring my accomplishments as a period of history to better follow them. The jest became lost as a few of the more prestigious members viewed the jest as an efficient way to condense my life into a couple of pages.”
“That’s terrible Luna.”
“Indeed, but thankfully many assumed it was a joke being overused and they quickly lost support. Still, the audacity bristles the fur when I think of it, but enough of this talk.” Luna gestured to the foals who by now had spent most of their energy for the moment and were resting by a tree. “Maybe we could continue this discussion in my chambers?”
Twilight had matured greatly in the last several years, but during this time of personal growth had also developed a less traditional sense of humor thanks to her husband. She had opened her mouth to make a joke by habit, but caught herself before she could embarrass herself.
“That sounds great.”
