A snuff film director goes to Equestria

I wish church was this interesting

Diamond Tiara hated farm work.

Almost as much as she hated the filthy mud ponies she had to work with.  After failing to buck apples of another tree she looked at applejack and said.

“ Can I go home?” Ok I was fibbing when I wrote said she whined like a total bitch.

“ Yes, biut there is one more thing you are needed for.” Applejack

“What is it?”

“ To be our sacrifice.” Applejack said as though she was taking to a three year old.

“NO!!!”

“ I thought you would say that so, pocket sand” applejack said as she launched pocket sand into the eyes of Diamond Tiara. Now you might be wondering where she put the pocket sand but if you read the optional anthropology of my first story it would make complete sense.

Applejack then bucked her in the jaw shattering it into a million pieces.

“aggaha.” Diamond tried to speak but couldn’t

Then she dragged Diamond Tiara all the way to the barn were Big Macintosh and   Granny Smith were waiting with a rune drawn in the center of the barn the rune had 7 points and surrounded by candles all having a flame of a different color. As the placed Diamond in the center applejack began her chant.

“Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka.”

Then as she finished she bowed and Big Mac took his turn

“Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo.”

Big Mac then took a bow and looked at granny smith.

“Da nana chika chika da nanna chika chicka Da nana chika chika da nanna chika chicka Da nana chika chika da nanna chika chicka Da nana chika chika da nanna chika chicka boom boom da noon a noo naanana noo noo boo boo dagag dig .”

Then Applejack opened an old looking book cleared her throat and said.

“Hello  friends and family and welcome to my sermon I am discussing today Jeepers 4:20 when lord Inglip invented this world for the earth ponies he said that one day a year we would conduct a feast of bounty. Now what is a feast of bounty? It varies based on who you ask. Is it a feast with food? Maybe but the highest have interpreted it much differently as you all know unicorns are mainly bounty hunters so we must  eat one of them to comply with Inglip’s laws. But why would Inglip make such a roundabout way of telling us this, why doesn’t he tell us what we need to do in plain Equish, why do all of his laws have to be adjusted reread and debated? Because he wants to show us our free will he wants us to know that even though all we are is puppets to advance Inglip’s pawn in the chess game of the immortals that is the Reichstanglatzor we have the ability to think for ourselves and we thank Inglip for him allowing us the burden of free will instead of making us mindless drones. I would like to conclude my sermon woth the prayer made before the feast.”

Applejack, Big Mac and Granny Smith all dipped there heads down. As Applejack began.

“ Lord Inglip we thank for the meal and the wheel, the ox and the fox the bitch and the hitch, the hore and ore, the dick and the wick, the face and the race, the shit and the split. All those who pray to lord Inglip will be covered in females and will not be false and homosexual. And those who invoke his wrath shall be beaten, destroyed, and ruined. Only when they are but sniveling piles of there former selves when they are willing to lick your shoes for  a taste of death will they be allowed the sweat taste of life imprisonment.Inglip and amen.”

“Amen.” The two other apples said and the began to eat Diamond tiara.

They started taking chunks out of her and speed up as they kept eating her after half of the filly had been eaten they moved on to the next stage of the plan.

“Do you like the soup Mr. Rich?” Applejack asked.

“Yes I do tell me what is in it?. Filthy replied

“Y’er daughter” Applejack said as an evil smile crept onto her lips

filthy realizing that he was a canabal took the spoon out of his eyes and sooped his eyes out of his sockets then shoved his spoon into his brains and gave himself a cheap lobotomy.

“Oh shit, he got blood on the table cloth. Big Mac said

And they all laughed

-------------- meanwhile back in the real world

“ So what did you guys think?” asked Dave

“ I didn’t like it I felt that there was to much foucus on th apple bucking and not on the appledash I  also feel that Inglip is a bad god, why not some one like Xenu or Shrek even also more twimac.” One person said.

“ I hate to agree with Clive but I agree with Clive I felt the AppleMac should have been thrust out there don’t make them picture the incest make them feel the incest. And more fluttershy” Person Number two said.

“ he is right this story was to fast for me to enjoy the coltcuddling and you promised me a gummy cameo. Gloruis leader what do you think.”

“ Did not make my neck beard stand up I just want a snuff film version of ponies is that so hard director Dave, you will get your payment but please try harder.” Glorius leader said

Dave wanted to reply but he knew he had more work to do. Much more work to do.