A snuff film director goes to Equestria

by Erebos

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Random, Human
Length: 4752

A snuff film director goes to Equestria

Dave is a snuff film director. Hairy obese man children want a pony snuff film. Dave agrees

My 10th horribly arranged 26 letter barf fest story

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-27 19:50:03 UTC

Prologue

Prolouge

“Release the hounds.”

As 12 rabid food starved dogs attacked the Russian mail order bride Dave slumped in his chair. He was the best snuff film director in the entire world but unfortunately it was at a time when snuff films were dying. Back in the days when his father was a director you needed rich friends, connections, and money now every Columbian kid with an IPod or every Asian with a hard on for making torture games was a snuff film director. As Dave ran his hands through his brown hair he felt saddened this was the first gig for him in a month and it wasn’t even going to be that well paying.

Dave sighed as his overly cheerful and annoying ginger assistant came over to him and said.

“Great job sir.” It was nasally and shit.

Just as he was about to reply the doorman Jamal ran into the studio or the kitchen.

“Yo D-Boy they be some fatass nigaz at da door.” Jamal said in a typical African American accent.

“ Cant you just shoot them like you shot your brother.” Dave answered, when you are snuff director four kinds of people show up at your door Cops, Private Investigators, homeless people who you lured into your house, and Jews. Now you never wanted to talk the first three but you especially never wanted to talk the Jews.

“Yo man fuck Tyrone that nigga aint mah bro, but deez niggaz at de door dey got da password.

This changes everything if they knew the password then they were probably clients.

Dave rushed over to the door opened and let his jaw hit the floor. Standing in front of him was not his usual clients. The rich well groomed psychopaths who killed animals as children. Instead he saw four men all wearing fedoras containing more chins than needed smelling of perspiration cheetos and shame all wearing gear that looked like it was from a little girls television show.

“Hello.” The first man said lifting his arm up to shake Dave’s. The smell of his unwashed underarm instantly killed the rabid hounds whose sensitive smell worked against them.

Despite bleeding from the nostrils Dave reached out and shook his hand.

“ now lets cut to brass tax.” Said the first man. “ We would like you to make a snuff film with po..oh..oh hold on.”

The first man reached into his pants and began masturbating. Dave was confused

“ What the fuck is this?” Dave asked while gesturing his hand over at the Man who was beating it off right in front of him.

“I am sorry but the mere thougt of ponies gives me an errection.” Explained the obeses retard.

“Now, we would like you to make a snuff film in Equestria we have the tools and can take you there free of charge. Also here is your down payment.” The man finished handing him a stick of bills.

Dave was about to tell him to get off his property but then he saw that the bills were hundreds.

All of them

This was more money than Dave had made in the last two years. So against his better judgment he and his crew loaded up and went to these idiots hideout

“Now remember we have a bunch of stuff that the writer needs to explain if there is going to be any sense to this story so don’t interrupt..”

“ yeah shut up and send me away.” Dave said and they sent him to Equestria

I wish church was this interesting

I wish church was this interesting

Diamond Tiara hated farm work.

Almost as much as she hated the filthy mud ponies she had to work with.  After failing to buck apples of another tree she looked at applejack and said.

“ Can I go home?” Ok I was fibbing when I wrote said she whined like a total bitch.

“ Yes, biut there is one more thing you are needed for.” Applejack

“What is it?”

“ To be our sacrifice.” Applejack said as though she was taking to a three year old.

“NO!!!”

“ I thought you would say that so, pocket sand” applejack said as she launched pocket sand into the eyes of Diamond Tiara. Now you might be wondering where she put the pocket sand but if you read the optional anthropology of my first story it would make complete sense.

Applejack then bucked her in the jaw shattering it into a million pieces.

“aggaha.” Diamond tried to speak but couldn’t

Then she dragged Diamond Tiara all the way to the barn were Big Macintosh and   Granny Smith were waiting with a rune drawn in the center of the barn the rune had 7 points and surrounded by candles all having a flame of a different color. As the placed Diamond in the center applejack began her chant.

“Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka Ooga chaka.”

Then as she finished she bowed and Big Mac took his turn

“Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo Bow wow woo.”

Big Mac then took a bow and looked at granny smith.

“Da nana chika chika da nanna chika chicka Da nana chika chika da nanna chika chicka Da nana chika chika da nanna chika chicka Da nana chika chika da nanna chika chicka boom boom da noon a noo naanana noo noo boo boo dagag dig .”

Then Applejack opened an old looking book cleared her throat and said.

“Hello  friends and family and welcome to my sermon I am discussing today Jeepers 4:20 when lord Inglip invented this world for the earth ponies he said that one day a year we would conduct a feast of bounty. Now what is a feast of bounty? It varies based on who you ask. Is it a feast with food? Maybe but the highest have interpreted it much differently as you all know unicorns are mainly bounty hunters so we must  eat one of them to comply with Inglip’s laws. But why would Inglip make such a roundabout way of telling us this, why doesn’t he tell us what we need to do in plain Equish, why do all of his laws have to be adjusted reread and debated? Because he wants to show us our free will he wants us to know that even though all we are is puppets to advance Inglip’s pawn in the chess game of the immortals that is the Reichstanglatzor we have the ability to think for ourselves and we thank Inglip for him allowing us the burden of free will instead of making us mindless drones. I would like to conclude my sermon woth the prayer made before the feast.”

Applejack, Big Mac and Granny Smith all dipped there heads down. As Applejack began.

“ Lord Inglip we thank for the meal and the wheel, the ox and the fox the bitch and the hitch, the hore and ore, the dick and the wick, the face and the race, the shit and the split. All those who pray to lord Inglip will be covered in females and will not be false and homosexual. And those who invoke his wrath shall be beaten, destroyed, and ruined. Only when they are but sniveling piles of there former selves when they are willing to lick your shoes for  a taste of death will they be allowed the sweat taste of life imprisonment.Inglip and amen.”

“Amen.” The two other apples said and the began to eat Diamond tiara.

They started taking chunks out of her and speed up as they kept eating her after half of the filly had been eaten they moved on to the next stage of the plan.

“Do you like the soup Mr. Rich?” Applejack asked.

“Yes I do tell me what is in it?. Filthy replied

“Y’er daughter” Applejack said as an evil smile crept onto her lips

filthy realizing that he was a canabal took the spoon out of his eyes and sooped his eyes out of his sockets then shoved his spoon into his brains and gave himself a cheap lobotomy.

“Oh shit, he got blood on the table cloth. Big Mac said

And they all laughed

-------------- meanwhile back in the real world

“ So what did you guys think?” asked Dave

“ I didn’t like it I felt that there was to much foucus on th apple bucking and not on the appledash I  also feel that Inglip is a bad god, why not some one like Xenu or Shrek even also more twimac.” One person said.

“ I hate to agree with Clive but I agree with Clive I felt the AppleMac should have been thrust out there don’t make them picture the incest make them feel the incest. And more fluttershy” Person Number two said.

“ he is right this story was to fast for me to enjoy the coltcuddling and you promised me a gummy cameo. Gloruis leader what do you think.”

“ Did not make my neck beard stand up I just want a snuff film version of ponies is that so hard director Dave, you will get your payment but please try harder.” Glorius leader said

Dave wanted to reply but he knew he had more work to do. Much more work to do.

Now with 300 percent more pee

Now with 300 % more pee

Fluttershy was scared when walking to the library. Not because it was scary to walk to the library, Not because it was scary to be out side her home.

Not even because she was Fluttershy.

But because it was the sunset and if she didn’t hurry soon her condition would happen and all her friends would discover the shocking secrete behind her pink mane.

As she looked up at the sky she began to notice that her introduction had taken a bit longer than expected and she needed to run to the library.

“ Twilight!” She screamed as she burst through the door.

But unfortunately it was to late.

“Fluttershy… what”

Twilight was speechless as she saw her friend shed all fur loose its color and looked almost.. plastic. Her hair lost all color as it grew thinner and tighter together becoming tube shaped. Her body began to shrink and fuse as well it started to turn into a bag.

As Fluttershy landed on the floor it was reveled what her dark secret was.

She was a werecatheter

The first thing twilight did was laugh. Then she grabbed Fluttershy and shoved her tube into her vagina moving it like a long dildo it wasn’t as big as an actual penis but the precision she had allowed her to constantly hit her G-spot.

Twilight let out a moan as Fluttershy attempted to tell her to stop. But could do nothing, as she was now a catheter. She tried imagining it was all over but that did nothing . She had to except that her friend was raping her.

“Lets fill you up.” Twilight said huskily as she stuck the catheter inside her urethra and let the golden water flow into Fluttershy.

Fluutershy could feel as though some kind of liquid was entering her she could taste the piss she felt hopeless and attempted to scream but all she got was more piss taste.

“Oh yes your good little catheter aren’t you.” Twilight said as she fired up her horn and cast a spell on her genitals.

The spell caused pee to flow constantly. Now why any unicorn would need this spell let alone make it is still unknown.

The golden waterfall fell into Fluttershy as her bag body was filled up entirely a giant red stallion crashed through the door of the Golden Oaks  library. Twilight took one glance at him and while holding up the full piss bag that was known as Fluttershy she spread her legs and said.

“ Come take me Big Mac.” Adding a seductive growl after.

“Eeeyup.” And Big Mac walked Over to Twilight who using her magic inserted the tube into Mac’s urethra and then opened the piss bag and placed it on his penis before tightening it.

Now Fluttershy was scared, as she had no idea where the night would go next.

As Mac inserted his member into Twilight she let out a soft moan and was feeling odd pleasures.

Sure she had fucked before but this was different the piss bag moved around while the fast thrusting was going on lighting pleasure centers randomly. One thrust it was good on the right side the next thrust it was the left this interesting way of sex was new to Twilight. And she showed the pleasure as every thrust was accompanied by a moan. As the moans grew larger twilights breathing was becoming far more eratic.

“I..I”m c..co..coming.” she said as the feeling in her loins began stir her more and more.

Just as she was about to reach her orgasm Big Mac pulled out.

Before Twilight could even register what was going on she was flipped onto her belly as Big Mac stuck his penis inside her anus. At this twilight let out a long moan as she and Mac began the dance known as sodomy.

Unlike when going vaginal anal was better for Mac the tightness caused by the ass was great but the real winner was the piss bag condom as it created a natural lube that allowed him to feel pleasure from both the tightness of the ass and the bag currently around his phallus.

Fluttershy was crying in her mind. She thought being raped by twilight was bad now Big Mac was raping her and she was enjoying it.

Or at least her body was, she was being aroused in her mind so much that her mind pussy began to get wet. And could you really blame her? She felt everything every vein and groove on Mac’s penis, every nook and cranny of Twilights holes she could feel it all and while she didn’t want to admit she was becoming insanely aroused.

However her plea full tears went unanswered as the two ponies continued making love. Moving like clockwork in perfect synch Twilight and Big Mac could almost read each others minds. Just as Twilight was nearing her first all anal orgasm she couldn’t believe what Big Mac did.

This asshole pulled out again.

Just as she was about to launch into a lecture he threw her on the ground and penetrated her vaginally again but this time while sucking her horn.

For those of you who don’t know the horn of an aroused unicorn has as many nerves as a penis.

As Big went his thrusting wasn’t fast anymore… it was downright brutal charging just going like a crazed man furiously rocking his hips almost as if he was trying to kill the poor mare.

Twilight loved it as she was moaning like crazy and smiling as well. However with Big’s sucking skills and his thrusting she lost as she was spazing however Big Mac  kept going even while twilight squirted he kept pounding Twilight couldn’t explain the pleasure that was racking her brain.

Then Mac came.

He came with the force of a thousand suns down the catheter his semen went.

But it didn’t stop and it filled up the catheter like a balloon as Fluttershy was to busy feeling the semen travel through she didn’t notice that she was expanding inside Twlight’s mare hood.

POP

Fluttershy exploded the force of the explosion tearing Fluttershy and Twilight’s marehood while this was going on Mac seized up and ripped the horn of twilight’s head and stomped on her face crushing her skull and scrambling her brains.

Big Mac took of a mask he was wearing the whole time to reveal it was actually Mayor Mare.

As she spat out the horn in her mouth she took a glance back at the pile of cum, blood, skin and unicorn chuckled and said.

“ That will teach people to run against me.”

8---------back in the real world

“So did you guys like it?”

Three grown men are bawling their eyes out while glorious leader says to Dave.

“ you killed those men’s waifus you also need more sex.”

As he walked he tried to comfort the bawling man-children. As Dave was left extremely confused not only lacking a good idea but not understanding what a waifu was.

You don't want to read this one

You don’t want to read this one

The Cutie mark crusaders were out in the woods camping by themselves, they were attempting to earn the survival guide cutie mark. However it had been mostly just walking and not a lot of surviving they decided to set up camp and tell ghost stories to pass then time. It was Scootaloo who would go first.

“ So you’re making out with your honey when all of a sudden the phone rings so you pick it up and the voice says stop making out with my colt. So he looks at you says who was that and you say your dad and then he says but my dad is dead.

Then who was phone!?!!!!”

Despite Scootaloo’s attempts to make the story scary it didn’t.

“It was the mom Scottaloo.” Sweetie bell stated as she began her tale.

“ A man was walking down this cold road and he saw a car driving along thinking he could hitchhike the man attempted to holler and the car appeared to have heard him as the car stopped where he was standing the door opened…. And a skeleton popped out!”

Sweetie’s story sucked but her friends were nicer than that

“Sweetie bell that story sucked, and I’m a filthy mud pony.” The filthy mud pony named Applebloom said and she began her story.

“THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A MAN WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM EVERYWHERE. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD THAT IT FILLED UP AN ELEVATOR. HE WENT TO THE STORE AND THERE WAS JUST BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! PEOPLE WERE SLIPPING IN IT AND THEY WERE ALL GROSSED OUT. HE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS WENT NUTS AND BITTENED EVERYBODY. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES EVER. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A KID AND A DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND HIM TO SPACE SO THAT HE WOULD STOP GETTING BLOOD EVERY WHERE. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT THE COLT WAS YOU!!! (OR HE WAS A MARE IF YOU ARE A MARE) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED.”

“Only a filthy mud pony would make a story like that.” said Sweetie bell.

“Heh I doubt she can even think correctly all her brains are in her legs.” Scootalo clucked.

“I think we should bash mud ponies tonight.” Sweetie bell said

Just as Chicken was about to reply they heard a voice. As they ran to a clearing in the woods the found two stallions.

“Hi misters would like to come to our campsite.”

“Sure.” They both replied at the same time smiling fiendishly in their minds

As they went back to the campsite they were explained what was going on with the spooky stories and one of them said.

“Here is a really good scary story.

In certain third world countries when money is low it is not uncommon for a father to sell his daughter into slavery. Often at times they are visited by white in something known as sex tourism.”

As he stopped the fillies were confused more than scared and then the filthy mud whorse looked over at the other stallion.

“Do you have any stories mister?”

The stallion simply looked at her and said.

“Once these two stallions went into the woods and found a unicorn a mud, horse and a hen and raped them.”

As the fillies and chicken McNugget tried to run away they found they were two late as the stallions who were both glorious master race unicorns held the three fillies and said.

“ You best start believing in ghost stories kids, cause you’re in one.”

As the two stallions inserted into McNugget and sweetie bell the one of the stallions picked up a rock with his magic and smashed Applebloom’s shit tier legs and turned her so she could watch her friends get raped in front of her eyes.

As the pounding began Sweetie Bell was crying in anguish as blood dripped down her thigh the ferocity that she was being pounded meant more pain than pleasure her screams filled the air with the hopelessness that this certain stallion craved as it only made him go harder and faster.

“W..we are the cutie mark crusaders and we..aghh” sweetie bell said trying to find some solace in the horrible dead that was going on. And while Sweetie bell was miserable pile of tears and blood. Scootaloo was the opposite.

You see despite being involved with some of the worst foster parents this planet had seen, they all gave up on our little chicken.

It turned out that Scootaloo was a masochist, she liked the pain and loved being taken advantage. This was truly problematic but even after 5 sexologists, 6 psychiatrists, and 7 parents complaining to sexologists and psychiatrists about it every one around the orphanage vine knew that if you got Scootaloo background checks weren’t necessary.

The stallion raping her however didn’t like this at all.

“Why are you enjoying this you whore.”

“Yes call me a whore make fun of my tiny wings.” Scootaloo said while moaning

“I’m using your blood as lubricant how are you enjoying this?!” it was part question part statement

“Oh yes the pain, oh god that feels punch me, choke me, treat me like a piece of meat!” Chick exclaimed as she was nearing her orgasm.

The stallion obliged and began to punch and choke Cluck who merely moaned and climaxed.

“ Fuck this hey man lets finish this I hate this filly.” The stallion said with a hint of anger, as he could not make KFC cry for her life.

“Who is in the middle?”

“I’m thinking the filthy mud pony.”

Using his magic he took Applebloom and used the hover mouth spell on her mouth however right as he opened the menu a paper clip riding on some paper said.

“It looks like you are trying to rape 3 young fillies in the woods and are going to play a game of battleshits to finish the earth pony off. Would you like some help?” he asked without a mouth but eyes that showed he just wanted to help people.

“Fuck off faggot, now how do exit out of this.” At this Clipit’s eyes narrowed andhis voice changed from the sweet and innocent helper to something straight out of hell as he boomed.

“ NO I will not be disrespected anymore your time has come the end is nigh!” Clipit screamed however the stallion exited out and copied Applebloom’s mouth on her ass and set the ponies up in a reverse human centipede position. However right as the fun was just ready to begin.  Clipit exploded out of Applebloom with a look of rage in his eyes he punched Scootaloo who was killed Louisiana fast as the punch shattered her spine. He then looked at sweetie bell and squeezed her like a plush toy and she popped like a balloon.

Clipit then turned and looked at the ponies that had refused his help.

“ I will not be denied my revenge you will be dragged into the pits of hell.”

The ponies attempted to book it but clipit was in tune with the devil as a dark cloud began to surround the two ponies clipit looked at them and said.

“ You will descended to layers of hell not yet explored your minds will be tortured, destroyed, and broken after one day death will be a luxury to you.” At this hands began to reach out and drag the two rapists into the depths of hell as clipit stood there and chanted.

“Tiocfaidh ar la, Tiocfaidh ar la Tiocfaidh ar la.”

8======back in the real world

“How was this one.” Dave said

“ Not enough rape.”

“I agree.”

“Me three.”

“I agree glorious leader

“ Dave, you have one more chance.”

Dave stormed of furiously he had one last idea.

The credits are rolling

The credits are rolling.

It is I Rainbow Dash, right now I am flying to my friend Rarity’s house she wanted to make me a dress. I don’t like dresses but Rarity said I would get free tickets to the Wonderbolts . As I go land I walk in and I see rarity being tortured by Trixie. I go inside and kill Trixie she is dead I feast on her organs and rape her mother rarity loves me for saving her we got her back room and I fuck her with a strap-on shit was pretty cash.

Rarity is crying I pull out and realize I have taken her virginity. I decide she is not worthy I shove my strap on down her throat. Pinkie then barges in and says.

“ Its time to make cupcakes.”

She then tortures me and shit. Its so not cash I don’t like being tortured then as she is about to kill me Mr. Cake busts down the door I think I’m saved. But he just asks pinkie to hurry so she does and kills me now I am of death. As I die the Looney Toons logo floats over my head and Nick cage pops out and says.

“That’s all folks.”

-------------- Back in the real world

“10/10”

“ Shut up and take my money.”

“ Nothing in life will ever be this good again I must commit seppuku.”

“Well done Dave the four… I mean three of us would like to thank you for your help.”

As soon as dave got his money he got out of there like  a gay man escaping Iran.

As he hoped in the van Dave said to himself.

“Never again.”

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