Supervillain in the Supermarket
I’m in a white room. I believe that my name is Dr. Draco. It is the last day of my education and I’m finally ready to pick my own optional superpower just as all other newly educated supervillains do. Without hesitation I decide that my superpower must be to control, you guessed it, spaghetti. I leave the room with my spaghetti and enter a long white hallway.
Along the walls in the hallway are some lockers and doors. I decide to test my newly obtained superpower on these.
As I control the spaghetti it lights green as if it is some kind of aura. I make the spaghetti slide under the doors and in the lockers to unlock them from inside. It is quite effective it seems. I continue down the hallway. At the end there is a fairly wide opening and on the other side there is a very large supermarket. I like to think that it is about the same size as an Ikea.
The supermarket is so large that it even has some rooms inside of it. The walls are white and there must be seven meters to the ceiling. In the part I’m going through it is mostly filled with cloths although it does seem that I have spotted something I’d like. A fifty centimeter long machete in a sand colored sheath. I grab it and as I walk around I start to think:
“It must seem quite suspicious that a newly educated villain goes as the first thing to buy a machete”
The guy watching the stores security cameras seemed to have the same thought as he suddenly had an urge to leave his post and go in the store. Meanwhile I have gone into a small black room with clothes on the walls and some in the middle as well to leave a nice square path for the customers to walk along. I put my machete on a shelf and look at some of the clothes. Suddenly I get interrupted it is the guy who watched me from the security cameras.
“Can I help you with anything?” He asks.
“No, I’m good” I say.
He turns around and leaves while I continue to look at the clothing. Alas I’m again interrupted.
This time though it’s different it’s Pinkie Pie standing behind me. I turn around as she starts to speak.
“What’cha doing?” She asks.
While I’ve suddenly transformed into a door opener pony with brown coat and mane and a wooden door and question mark for cutiemark* I yell with a low voice: “NOTHING!”
Seductively she asks while raising her eyebrows: “What kind of nothing?”
“Every kind of nothing” I say with a smug smile on my face.
We barely get to have a moment of eye contact before we once more are interrupted. This time it is three men with slightly dark skin color and black hair. The one in the middle seems to be their leader as it was him who had the six-shooter.
I thought to myself:
“They must be immigrants.”
While we somehow now both are human he raise the gun in his right hand. I quickly grab the machete.
With Pinkie behind me I swing it with all my force against his arm. Midair it stops as she grabs my arm saying:
“Why don’t you try to aim for the guy with the gun?”
Equally confused me and their leader look at her as we both knew what I was aiming for. Then I took a second swing at his arm. With all my force hitting his leather jacket I succeeded in lowering his arm by sixty degree.
It must be quite blunt machete. I mean I can’t be that weak. Can I? With great haste we break free from the three and run out of the room into the rest of the clothing section again. They didn’t know where we went so we fled.
The End
* The picture shows exactly how I look
Me and Rarity in the Kitchen
I’m standing in my mother’s kitchen with walls of blue. I’m stirring in a turquoise plastic bowl containing a grayish oatmeal looking substance. It seems I've been here for a while as I’m only one ingredient from completing the dish for my guests.
My guests seem to be fairly quiet as it appears I haven’t even given them a thought since I went in the kitchen.
I’m not sure how long I've been in the kitchen and I don’t even know what exactly I’m making all I know is that the last ingredient is to be put on the top as garnish so it won’t just look like a boring bowl of oatmeal looking stuff.
Sadly, it seems that I’m in need of this as I've searched through all of my other ingredients and been rendered unable to find it. It seems however that not all my luck has run out. Just by my side stands the most generous pony I know, Rarity.
I look at her and ask: “Rarity?”
“Hm?” She replies looking back at me.
“May I borrow your eye?” I ask.
Without thinking much of the question and maybe thinking that I asked for her to see something she says: “Yeah?”
With great haste and thereby not allowing her to think further I grab my electric beater and slam it in her skull, I turn it on and off again and pull it out of her face. And there she now stands paralyzed. It seems that she’ll survive.
It must've given her quite a shock. I put two fingers on each side of the eye socket and pull myself closer to get a better look at the remains of her eye. To my surprise it seems that my luck hasn't ended yet. The eye is still intact though it seems my hand is too big to reach in her skull and grab it. I reach for a pair of grill tweezers, stick it in and pull the eye out of the socket. Placing it in the middle of the bowl I’m finally ready to serve the snack and go join my guests.
The end!
