Blacklight Retribution: Stranger on a Stranger World

“So, what’cha got on our guy?” Raven asked expectantly.

“He came from the first outbreak,” Poet said flatly, as Raven’s jaw dropped.

“I,” Raven hesitated, “I couldn’t save... Anyone!”

She hung her head in shame, Poet placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “Hey, it’s alright, you did all you could.”

“Everyone was infected those days, I couldn’t do shit. All I could do was watch as all the people I try to save become one those things, I think the survivor efforts were sabotaged.”

“Did you happen to see this girl that time? I know it was a long time ago,” Freddie took and held out a picture of Ryman’s sister towards Raven.

Raven looked deep in thought and she clicked, “Oh yeah, she was there. Only for a moment before his big brother or something left because he probably was the first to noticed that the survivor effort was useless.”

“That was the new guy’s sister. He shot her himself because she was infected, they were probably hoping that your survivor group effort was their only hope. I know it’s a lot to take in,” Poet said, placing another comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I just, couldn’t do anything,” she choked up, “and that’s the worst fucking feeling in the world, knowing you can’t do anything about what you’re responsible for, especially the lives of forty-seven people.”

“You counted?” Tanny looked amazed as he asked, but dropped as soon as Raven glared at him.

“I chosen as the best medic for that job!”

“And now YOU’RE our best medic,” Freddie said trying to lighten the mood, which earned a facepalm from Tanny and Poet.

“You’re making it worse,” Tanny groaned, but Raven beamed up a smile and sighed in relief.

“Thank you,” Raven flashed a hopeful smile, “I needed that.”

Raven chuckled away like she was letting go of the entire thing again, this brought a smile to Freddie’s face.

“Anytime,” he responded, “Don’t be a stranger.”

“So damned cheesy,” Tanny facepalmed, this earned a chuckle from Freddie as they all ate away at their lunch at last.

“Same old MRE’s, eh?” Tanny laughed.

“Yeah,” Freddie paused his eating and took a thoughtful look at his food, “Same old.”

“I wonder what’s that new guy’s deal?” Freddie thought to himself.

***

Canterlot: Residence Grounds

***

“So who’s going to escort me?” Freddie asked Celestia.

“Another changeling who has gone rogue from the Queen’s HIVE,” she paused, “I KNOW I can trust her, and hopefully she can do the same for you.”

She gestured outside, “You will meet her outside this chamber.”

“Yeah, let me just recover my bearings,” he continued studying his features of his insectoid self, “What’s his name?”

“Pardon?”

“His name, the new guy,” he clarified, “What’s his name?”

“Ah, the strange pegasus that must have come from your world?”

He nodded.

“His name is Midnight Flame,”

“What the hell kinda name is ‘Midnight Flame’?” it felt like deja vu asking that question.

“You will see why when you meet him,”

He shrugged, “Fair enough, I supposed. Right outside these doors, I will meet my escort yes?”

“She must be right outside, yes. Good luck to you, and please try not to make enemies.”

She gave a last glare to ensure that she had gotten her point across that messing with these ponies was punishable by death... By HER. Fortunately, Freddie understood.

Giving one last nod, he makes way to the doors.

When he opened the doors and turned around to close them, turning around was a startling feat.

“HOLY CHRIST, YOU LOOK WORSE THAN ME!” he bolted back at the sight of an authentic changeling, or Ditto.

“Nice to meet you too,” she huffed in indignation, then became lost in her own thoughts just studying the unique changeling. This went on for some time.

“Am I really that good looking compared to your normal mates?”

This snapped her out of her trance and she shook her head vigorously with a blatant blush on her black exoskeleton.

“NO! NO! It’s not like that!” she was hesitating, “It’s just, I’ve never seen anything like you.”

“Well I’ve never seen anything like you,” Freddie starting throwing suggestive looks. To his amusement, Ditto’s blush became more intense.

Thank the Renegade Hive they’re not seeing me like this, she thought to herself miserably.

“I’m jokin’,” Freddie laughed, “where we goin’?”

“I, uh...” she was being lost in her own thoughts again. Where WERE they going to go?

“Do you just want to eat lunch?”

Ditto knew that normal food couldn’t sustain her, but he interrupted her because she was hesitating again.

“I’ll take that as a yes, where to? I’m starved.”

Oh no, she thought to herself, Changeling’s can’t eat, and I can’t talk worth manure! I have to stop this!

“Want something fancy or just some fast food.”

I’ll just let this play out, she continued to think to herself as she was basically speechless, I’ll let him learn the hard way.

***

Moments Later

***

“Oh man! I’m so excited!” Freddie beamed as they were walking along the market areas bustling with ponies that were giving them funny looks because you know, “They’re racists, aren’t they?”

This took Ditto by surprise, “Racists?”

“Nothing you should know about if you haven’t already,” his eyes were darting around looking for anything that might look like a food booth or something, something that gives something better than MREs. This was difficult because there was a ‘shit-load’ of stores and venders that gave stuff he didn’t FUCKING need.

This scanning continued for some time while walking until suddenly, a ray of light, reflecting off a surface that was emitting the most delicious formation shapes and numbers and letters that represented the very thing that he was looking for: FOOD.

“THERE!” he pointed a holed hoof to the establishment and shook Ditto excitedly with the other, “FOOD!”

“Uh, Stranger, I don’t think-AHH!” too late, Freddie was placing her under his momentum.

THIS CHANGELING IS A FOOL, Ditto needed to put a stop to this, not because he was going to hurt himself eating pony’s food, but because she was going to lose her own mind just taking care of Stranger.

“Yes, I would like...” he started before looking up at the menu, then silence as he stared at the menu.

This earned strange looks from Ditto and the Cashier after he got startled by a changeling that suddenly said, “Yes, I would like...”

“Is something wrong? I was about to tell you-” Ditto started, but interrupted.

“What the hell kind of food you sellin’ here?! Food with flowers?! HAY FRIES?! HAY FRIES!?” he was practically screaming at the retreating cashier.

“HEY COME BACK HERE! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAG-MMFFF!”

“Calm down, Stranger! Calm DOWN!” Ditto was trying to restrain him as she looked at the others, she was chuckling in a mortifying manner.

“Sorry, everypony, sorry!” she gave a sheepish smile, the best she could muster because she was restraining a hyperactive, pissed customer at the same time.

“Uh yes, may I help you,” this could be the manager. At least this calmed Freddie down a little bit, “sir?”

The manager looked less frightened because there was a changeling looking like she was responsible for Freddie, and that was enough for the stallion.

“Yes, I would like to know why you do not sell meat,” Freddie requested firmly, and LOUD enough for the entire damned restaurant to hear.

Oh may Queen Carnation help us all, Ditto face hoofed as the rest of the establishment was staring at Freddie with wide eyes.

He took notice of this and starting looking around like the time he was told that ‘Lil Wayne’ was black, and then it clicked.

“Oh,” he gasped in realization, “OH! OH! Ok, heh... Heh... I’m sorry.”

He was giving a sheepish smile, and this came to the manager as amusing. Not the request to meat of course.

“I’m sorry for wasting your time,” Freddie said as he looked back at the menu considering the best option for him, “I’ll take the Hey Fries.”

“Yes, of course, thank you, that will be three bits,”

“Bits?” Freddie asked with deadpanned face.

“Bits,”

“Bits?”

The manager looked at him like he was retarded then made this statement more firm, “Bits.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE-” smack.

A sudden group of three gold coins has appeared on the counter table... From Ditto.

“I hope you can excuse my friend here,” she gave a shameful smile, “he’s new around here.”

“Of course, it’s no trouble at all, Ditto, anytime,” the manager gave a gentle smile.

“Thank you, I owe you one,” Ditto sighed with relief as they went to a free table.

“So, uh yeah, thank you for-OW” he was smacked at the back of the head by Ditto.

“Next time, I’ll do the talking! Got it?!” she hissed at her.

“OK, OK,” he put his forehooves up in the air, “I got it, goddamn.”

Ditto then sighed with irritation, I really hope he can give up trying to eat normal foods soon... Very soon, she thought to herself.

***

Moments Later

***

“So this guy pops up out of no where and then bam!” Freddie clapped his hooves to illustrate a ‘BAM’, “then Tanny goes: ‘RED MIST: ONE DOWN’, he’s a pro wannabe!”

He was laughing at his own antics, then sighed with nostalgia and looks down at the table at the realisation that he might not make it back home.

“You weren’t paying attention weren’t you?” this really took Ditto by surprise.

“No,” she said flatly, she was too tired to make emotion, “What were you saying.”

He sighed in disappointment.

“What?! I’ll pay attention, I swear. I lost you at... At,” she was tapping her chin with her hoof trying to recolle-

“The beginning,” he interrupted, “It’s fine, I needed to talk to myself anyway. I really needed that.”

He gave a smile of gratitude and looked out towards the mountains away and the bustling crowd of a market place.

“You know, it’s not that bad,” he started as he looked out at the crowds. This time Ditto really paid attention, much to her shame, “All these people, just minding their own business, having the time of their lives. Doing what I wish my people were doing all those years ago.”

He then took a good look at Ditto, which was probably too long of a glance because her eyes dilated to the fact that she was actually being looked at in the eye. A changeling, being looked at right in the eye, meaning sincerity and honesty. This made her blush.

“Being happy,” they continued losing themselves in each others eyes, Freddie’s being more interesting... A little too interesting. Ditto’s face was drawing nearer as Freddie’s face was dong the same, until-

“Batch of HAY FRIES ready!”

This really interrupted her moment, Was I really falling in love with another changeling?! Wait this is a different kind, but nonetheless a changeling! Ditto continued looking at herself in surprise, Did that really just happen?”

“Holy hell these things look surprisingly good!” Freddie interrupted Ditto’s train of thought, then another memory clicked back to her.

“You sure you want to eat these?”

“Hell, I’m starvin, I’ll eat anything,” he then started fiddling the sticks with his holed hooves.

OH I know! I’ll use these holes to get the fries! I’m such a genius, he thought to himself as he failed. This praise for himself went away as soon as it came, then another idea came up.

I’ll eat this like an animal, this was his last resort. No hesitation, no breathing, it will only make this eating easy. BAMANUMANUMMMAA-

“You know you can use magic right?” she looked at Freddie like he was eating like a pig.

“Magic? You must be high,” he shrugged as he was about to dive his head into the batch until a fry was floating.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT A GHOST! GET DOWN!” he ducked under the table.

“It’s magic, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

Freddie slowly slid up to sit upright on the table as the ponies around him looked at him like this was comedy gold with Seth Greene... But no laughter.

“It’s floating,” he stared at said fry, “It’s magic?”

Ditto nodded, “You don’t see my aura?”

“I don’t give a fuck about your AURA! How do I use mine?!”

Ditto looked heartbroken, but Freddie didn’t care, he was about to eat fries without contact with his body.

“Imagination,”

“You must be fucking joking,”

“Imagine one of these,” she gestured to the batch of fries.

Well I am dead, he thought to himself, I might even pull this off.

Freddie gave a little more effort to using his imagination than Ditto expected... He looked like he was shitting himself, which earned a chuckle from Ditto.

Some time passed as the fledgling, unique, retarded changeling was focusing all his might to discovering the fundamentals of lifting the fry, the magic in his horn that he tried to summon by his ‘imagination’... Or-

“Fuck this!” he exhaled in irritation as he just used his face to smash it into the tray and send his face into a greasy fuck fest, Ditto was waiting for him to finish eating.

“How was it?” she herself was surprised a changeling ate a full batch of hay fries.

“DELICIOUS!” he bellowed as he was munching the last of it.

“You there! Insect! Silence, you’re kind is not appreciated here!”

“Shut up, Blueblood. You look like an insect yourself,” the manager defended Freddie.

The said Stallion... Unicorn with that gay blue mane was in a ripped suit, and had a collection of other broken accessories.

“Well atleast I don’t go eating my food like that,” he bolted his head up in indignation, this put Freddie into a laughing fit.

“What in Celestia’s name is so funny?” he growled at Freddie.

He wiped a tear, “Oh nothing, I just see a rich snob who thinks he’s going to overpower a changeling who looks finer than you.”

“Finer?! Why I never-”

“Your ripped shit says a lot,” Freddie interrupted while gesturing to all of Blueblood. He also noticed that there were signs that he cried recently, “And you cry?! A noble of a city like this and you CRY?! That is fucking SAD!”

He burst into yet another fit of laughter, this time the entire customer base following suit.

Some time passed like this as the ‘noble’ unicorn ran away almost immediately after he lost his stoic expression.

"YOU WILL NOT HEAR THE END OF THIS!" he cried out, choking up, " SWEAR IT!"

Some time passed with Freddie making sure he was completely out of the scene.

“Boy that felt good, what about you, mate?” he asked Ditto, just staring at him, “I know I’ll feel regret about it later, but that was enjoyable to say the least. I got the rest of the crowd to laugh after all! I'll apologize to that faigit later.”

“Yes, that’s nice,” she responded with a flat face, “How did those hay fries taste again?”

“Delicious?” he deadpanned, “OH, which reminds me! Another round of hay fries please!”

Ditto sighed and slumped to her spot: He does not understand, this could save our race!

A member of the fast food arrived to their table expectantly, looking at Ditto seeing as she was the first to pay.

“Oh, of course,” she glared at Freddie, “This is the last batch of Hay Fries you get today. You owe me.”

“Yes ma’am,” he winked.

"Do you know what this means?" she asked almost as if she was offended.

Freddie only stared blank into her furious eyes, a worried and sheepish face creeping up on him, then he sighed and dropped his head.

"Fine," he huffed, "I'll do whatever you want for two days for those fries."

She mentally facehoofed: I'll tell him about it later. Maybe when he's not stuffing his face.