Manes, Pains & Trains

by lunabrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Snails, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Adventure, Diamond Tiara, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Snips, Silver Spoon
Length: 6620

When a train ride for a school field trip turns boring, it's up to the Cutie Mark Crusaders to find a way to pass the time. All that changes when the train enters a tunnel, and each have differing views about what's on the other side.

When a train ride for a school field trip turns boring, it's up to the Cutie Mark Crusaders to find a way to pass the time. All that changes when the train enters a tunnel, and each have differing views about what's on the other side.

It doesn't help that all of them have a completely wild imagination.

Published 2013-06-28 04:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-21 16:39:14 UTC

Tunnel Vision

"Stay together now, children!" remarked Cheerilee, guiding her small class towards the large tracks by the station. She had quite a job for one mare. Escorting, supervising, feeding and ensuring the safety of an entire class was no easy task. But she enjoyed it very much, especially when she was able to watch them learn. Her class was about to embark on a field trip to the Canterlot Colosseum, an ancient landmark of historical significance. A quick glance around assured that all the students were behaving. At least, most of them. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were huddled together, whispering amongst themselves as they always were. Diamond Tiara was pushing Lilac out of her way while Silver Spoon watched, she'd be sure to give the two a warning later when they were alone instead of embarrassing them in front of the rest of the class. But where were Snips and Snails? She quickly glanced about, and found them in the absolute last place she wanted them.

"Look at me, look at me!" Snails was saying, doing push-ups while balanced on the heavy tracks. "I'm in train-ing!" This brought an idiotic laugh from Snips, who thought that was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.

"You always know just the right thing to say, Snails." The rotund little colt snickered.

Cheerilee glared at them both. "Snips! Snails! Get down from there THIS INSTANT." She ushered the rest of the group forward, all the while turning her attention on the pair of colts. "That's incredibly dangerous, get off of there!"

The two reluctantly climbed off the tracks. "Aw, it's not like we were in any danger. If we didn't feel a train coming first, we'd hear it." Snails complained.

"That's not the point, I don't want to see either of you up there again, or you're both going to be my special best friends for the day. Is that what you want?" Cheerilee warned.

"No ma'am, we'll be good!" Snips said quickly. Nothing lowered your cool-level faster than being stuck with the teacher. It was fortunate that they left the tracks when they did, as a train whistled its incoming passage several minutes later, and a large blue carriage chugged onto the boarding platform soon after. A stallion in a striped blue and white hat was leaning out of the window of the very front of the large train.

"Now boarding, Canterlot Colloseum!" The conductor called with a friendly wave.

Cheerilee had not taken her eyes off the children. "Alright, we're on a schedule. Everypony on the train, hurry now!"

Snips and Snails quickly turned to run towards the train, unfortunately in doing so slamming head first into each other instead. They recovered after a momentary argument of "Get off me!" and boarded the train.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders, meanwhile, were discussing the possible ramifications of train-oriented skillsets.

"Window washing?" Scootaloo asked.

"We could do that anywhere, why would we want train window cutie marks?" Sweetie argued.

"Y'all are bein' a bunch of sillies, we'll get conductor cutie marks fer sure!" Apple Bloom said excitedly.

"As IF," came the voice of Diamond Tiara, who pushed past the trio with a snort. "If anything, you'll get your cutie marks in shoveling coal, because that's all you'll ever be good at."

"And even that's being generous," Silver Spoon seconded, bringing up the rear. "I wonder what a cutie mark in being completely useless looks like? Probably just an image of all three of you." The two fillies boarded the train, laughing.

Sweetie Belle looked devastated, and tears began welling up in her eyes. Scootaloo did not particularly enjoy the thought of having an image of herself on her flank, even under the condition of being with her two best friends. She hollered after the two. "You two lunkheads get back here and say that again!"

Apple Bloom was nudging her friends towards the stairs on the train car. "Come on y'all, don't listen to them. We'll show them by getting super awesome cutie marks instead!"

"Yeah, I guess." Scootaloo said, and made her way up onto the stairs following the others. "It's just not fair, I'm not good at much of anything except my scooter, and a scooter cutie mark is just stupid. That's like Sweetie Belle's special talent being, like, singing or something."

"I know!" Sweetie insisted. "Everypony says I'm good at it, but I'm tot*squeak*ally scared of singing in public. Not happening, no way!"

"And ah'm gonna work with apples!" Bloom said proudly. "Don't know exactly how yet, but maybe ah'll deliver cart loads of apple with mah very own train!"

"Yeah!" The other two said excitedly.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders TRAIN DRIVERS! YAY!"

***

"All aboard, last call!" The conductor yelled, eyeing the loading platform from his vantage point. Seeing no others waiting and having a schedule to keep, he pulled down on a long cord with his hoof and a fierce whistle sounded. The whistle was met with the cheering of children from the back compartments, and he grinned as the train lurched into movement. His passengers were relatively few today, a single class from Ponyville and a few regular commuters. Nothing significant.

The train rolled out of Ponyville and into the rolling hills, a seemingly minor change in scenery but one that many of the children had never seen before. A majority of the class had their noses pressed up against the windows, some whispering, some yelling, all in excitement.

Not the Cutie Mark Crusaders, however. Finding that they were not allowed to wander around the train unsupervised, effectively stalling their plans to infiltrate the control room, the three had fallen silent and were seated around a table containing an abandoned game of Maneopoly they had found stashed overhead.

"I'm bored."

"Me too."

"Me three!"

"Well what're we gonna do about it?" Scootaloo asked impatiently.

"We could do each others manes!" Sweetie chimed in.

"Naw, y'all aren't allowed tah do mah hair after what happened last time." Bloom said. This comment was met with a particularly accusing look at the pegasus sitting across from her.

"I'm SORRY," Scootaloo insisted. "I thought the dye would come out!" She rubbed her neck. "But, your mane DID grow back. Eventually."

"Look, look!" Sweetie Belle said suddenly, pointing out the window. Naturally, the other two did just that. An enormous tunnel was coming up quickly, seeming to swallow all sources of light in its depths. There wasn't any telling how long it was, there didn't appear to be any end in sight. "Whoa..." Apple Bloom and Scootaloo echoed.

"What do y'all think is on the other side?" Bloom asked. There was silence for a moment, as ideas were forming in the minds of all the children.

It was at that very moment the train entered the tunnel, casting all of its inhabitants in darkness.

Scootaloo's Story

It was at that very moment the train entered the tunnel, casting all of its inhabitants in darkness.

The train, which was a shorter, more efficient model than the Friendship Express, was designed for passengers. It had only four cars, not counting the engine itself, and each car was fitted with benches and tables below, with storage compartments overhead. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were sitting by themselves in the last car, an abandoned game of Maneopoly laying strewn about on the table. As the darkness overtook them, Apple Bloom blinked several times, trying to adjust her eyes. There was a soft yelp from the next table over as Sweetie Belle jumped with fright, and an annoyed groan from Scootaloo. "Get OFF me!" The pegasus said.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so frightened of everything!" Sweetie Belle squeaked. "I wish I could be brave and strong like you, Scootaloo."

Scootaloo waved it off. "It's no big deal, I get that all the time." She said casually.

Apple Bloom frowned. "Quiet down, y'all. Somethin' big is goin' on up front." She cracked the door to the next car open, and immediately sensed something was not right. Several stallions in masks were pushing their way farther and farther back into the carriages, threatening the children and passengers with broken cider bottles and holding out burlap sacks. The children gave what little bits they had, some had pieces of candy which were thrown into the bags. The adults were handing over bits and jewelry, and nopony seemed to be protesting all that much. Apple Bloom began to close the door again, and the hinges creaked. She froze.

One of the assailants looked up immediately. "HEY!" He shouted, and charged for the door. Apple Bloom shrieked and slammed the door shut, locking it. She and Sweetie Belle pressed their backs up against it as the thieves pounded on the door.

"Help us, Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom begged. "Ah'd do somethin' mahself, but ah'm jes' a helpless little earth pony, little sister of an even more useless earth pony!"

Scootaloo opened her mouth to respond, but just then the door to the carriage flung open, sending the other two fillies head over hooves. The thieves rushed to pin down Sweetie and Bloom, a third making a lunge for Scootaloo.

"Run, Scoots!" Sweetie Belle yelled.

"Don't worry, you guys! I got this!" Scootaloo declared, and charge out the back door of the train. She found herself nearly tumbling over the balcony, tracks rushing by underneath. The third thief was still charging her, and she had to think quickly. She began to climb her way to the top of the speeding train via a ladder on the side of the door with the thief right behind her. Scootaloo narrowed her eyes. "Hey, ugly! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

"Like... you?" The stallion grinned.

"Oops." Scootaloo made a run for it, heading towards the front of the train. She leaped towards the next car, clearing the gap with inches to spare, and ran across the roof. The train was speeding faster now, one wrong move could mean certain death. The stallion pursued her further and further across the roof, with Scootaloo yelling back at him. "Who even robs trains anymore? I mean seriously." She leaped across the next gap, but her hooves slipped at the last second. Her body slammed into the edge of the carriage, and there were gasps and screams from down below as a pair of orange hooves dangled precariously from the roof, in front of one of the windows. "Not today!" Scootaloo exclaimed, and pulled herself up.

"Gotcha!" The thief exclaimed, for he had not missed his jump, and the extra few seconds had been enough for him to catch up. He grabbed a hold of her forelegs, and yanked her up. "What do you have to say for yourself now, you little brat?"

Scootaloo just grinned. "That's my saddle! I don't know you!" She screamed, and slammed her hind hoof between the stallions legs. The stallion had only enough time to look confused before he went down, rocking back and forth in a ball on the ground.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Scootaloo snorted. "Next time, you think twice before you mess with me!" She turned around, and found herself face to face with the two other thieves who had followed their friend onto the roof. "Oh, crap."

Down in the train, the worried gasps had turned to muttering.

"She still hasn't come down yet."

"Is she alright?"

"Somepony go get her!"

"HEY!" Yelled the guard by the door. "All of you, stop your whispering!" he demanded. He was intent on keeping an eye over all of their victims, and that was exactly what he intended to do.

Of course that didn't stop them. "Look, up in the sky, what IS that?"

"It's a bird!" exclaimed a mare.

"It's a plane!" exclaimed a stallion, to which was met several mutterings wondering what exactly a 'plane' was.

"No! It's... it's..."

"RAINBOW DASH!" Scootaloo shouted,

"In the awesome flesh!" The pegasus announced, zooming in to land behind the stallions on the roof. "What are you two lunkheads doing harrassing my favorite filly?" She demanded, grabbing them both by the tail. The stallions didn't take too kindly to having their tails grabbed, and kicked at Scootaloo. Scootaloo screamed, losing her balance, and slid off the edge of the roof, disappearing towards the tracks below.

"NO!" Rainbow screamed, reaching out a hoof towards where the filly had fallen. "No..."

"Relax, wouldja?" A voice, this time... behind Dash?

Rainbow Dash whirled around, and her jaw dropped. "Scootaloo? But... you're..."

"Flying?" finished Scootaloo, diving back and forth in the air to keep up with the speeding train.

"That's... so... AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash squished her face together. "Come on, squirt! You and I will round these losers up, and we'll go fly together!"

"You're on!" announced Scootaloo.

***

Scootaloo beamed with pride. "And then Rainbow Dash and I totally wound up the rest of the thieves, and Rainbow Dash adopted me as her sister." She finished. "And that's how Equestria was made!" She opened her eyes, expecting a wild round of applause, but was met with the evil glares of both Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, who had not taken kindly to being portrayed as an idiot or being called useless.
._. ._.

"What?" Scootaloo asked.

Apple Bloom pointed to a chair in the corner.

"Ugh, you guys just don't appreciate a good story." She muttered, and went to sit in the corner.

"You want a good story?" Apple Bloom asked. "I'LL tell you what's gonna happen next."

"Now this I have to hear." Sweetie Belle said.

Apple Bloom's Story

Apple Bloom was quick to launch into her variation of what was to happen next, following Scootaloo's failed interpretation. Scoots had left her corner and rejoined the other two, who although they both gave her a stern glare indicating that they were far from being amused at how they had been portrayed, were otherwise deciding to go easy on her. Apple Bloom had only just opened her mouth to begin telling her story when there was a sudden jolting screech from the lower section of the train. The shock was such that all three fillies went flying into the wall, tumbling upon each other head over hooves.

"Ow!" said Scootaloo

"What was that?!" demanded Apple Bloom.

"My leg!"

Apple Bloom was the first to rise, and quickly made her way to the window, where sparks were visible in the darkness, flying beneath the screeching wheels of the train. She was perfectly stable now, possessing superior earth pony balance, while the other two needed to hold into the legs of tables.

"Somethin's wrong, let's go check it out!" She exclaimed. "Maybe we'll get our cutie marks in train repair!"

"Yeah, that's just what I needed on my flank, a wrench," Sweetie Belle complained.

"What did you call me?!" Scootaloo demanded.

"I said WRENCH."

"Oh, yeah, totally!"

Apple Bloom moved forward to thrust open the door of the carriage they were in. The entire train was cast in darkness and shadow, but had stopped moving, still within the confines of the tunnel. "Hello?" She called. There was no answer. The adjoining car was empty.

"Where's the rest of the class? Where's Cheerilee?" She asked with worry.

"They must've gone to get help or something," Sweetie offered.

"And left us behind? Cheerilee would never do that. Come on!" Bloom pressed forward, with her two friends following close behind.

"Initiating Cutie Mark Acquisition Program. Executing file Happy Face. Execution successful. Yay!" Sweetie said playfully.

"You're so weird," Scootaloo responded.

The trio moved deeper into the train, finding each one of the cars empty. The trio was completely alone, and Apple Bloom didn't like it at all.

"This is so WEIRD." Scootaloo said. "It's like that one book at school where all the good people disappeared, and only the bad people were left while the rest of Equestria burned."

Sweetie's lip quivered. "But I'm not bad... is this because of that one time I borrowed those really rare gemstone shards from Rarity? I was going to put them back, honest!"

"And I'm too cool to be left behind, so that CAN'T be it." Scootaloo decided.

"Hush up, both of you." Bloom said, approaching the side of the first train car. "Ah'm gonna check outside." She lifted a lever and swung the door aside, peering into the gloom. "We're still in th' tunnel, but there's light ahead. Come on, we can see what's on the other side."

"I guess if we can get out of the train, we'll find out what happened to everypony else." Sweetie agreed, jumping down to ground level. The three fillies began to walk away from the train towards the light, squinting slightly as they tried to adjust to the variance in brightness.

Scootaloo was unamused. "The Foal Free Press's next article is totally going to be about how somepony found our strangled bodies in an old warehouse."

"Jes' stop that, ain't nopony gonna be strangled," Bloom warned.

"My mom and dad are estrangled," Scootaloo said.

"Y'mean estranged."

"Stop being such a dictionary, Bloom!"

Of course, at that moment, a hoof laid itself on the shoulder of both Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, who were bringing up the rear. The two fillies screamed so loudly it echoed down the tunnel for what could have been miles.

Snips and Snails were covering their ears, a very dull glowing light coming from both of their horns. "You scared us!" Snips said defensively.

Sweetie Belle twitched. "We scared YOU!?" Her voice gave off a high pitched squeak of annoyance. Apple Bloom glared menacingly at them.

"Stop sneakin' up on ponies! The only one allowed to be a ninja is me! Now go up front an' light th'way until we're outta here!"

"Whatever you say, Apple Blossom," Snails said with a snort.

"It's BLOOM."

The small group pressed forward, the colts in front, Apple Bloom in the middle, and Sweetie with Scoots in the rear. They wandered to the end of the tunnel, slowly, as if something else would jump out at them at any moment. But nothing did. They followed the tracks into the forest, eventually coming to a small sign buried in the ground. It was next to a dirt path, but the sign was so faded it was impossible to read. The rest of the group continued, but Apple Bloom just stared at the sign.

"Guys? Ah don't think we should go in here."

"Don't be such a chicken, Apple Bloom," Scootaloo said, and followed the others into a small village. A friendly stallion was nailing boards together, and looked up as they approached.

"Good evening, children." He said pleasantly."

"Hi!" Snips and Snails both chorused. "Who are you?"

"Name's Gladstone, haven't seen you kids around bef-" He paused, catching sight of the final filly bringing up the rear. "Apple Bloom?" He asked.

Poor Bloom was shaking, and her eye twitched upon hearing his voice.

"You KNOW him?" Sweetie asked.

"Yes. And we all need t'leave. Right now."

"Nonsense!" Gladstone said. "It's getting dark, and the forest is no place for a group of fillies and colts to be wandering around in overnight. You can stay at the Inn, won't cost you anything."

"But what about the others? Won't they wonder where we are?"

"I'll take care of that, and be sure to send out a search party to find your chaperone. You'll be safe here..."

Snips had approached the bucket of long nails Gladstone had been using, and put two in his mouth so they hung past his lips. "Snails, look! I'm a walrus!"

"Nailed it!" Snails remarked, and the two started laughing. Bloom was not.

"Guys, really! This is that place I told you about! We can't BE here!"

"Which place? That place you totally made up just to try and scare us?" Scootaloo asked. "I'm not afraid of anything, and your attempt was completely weak." The rest of the children entered the Inn, a building which Gladstone had pointed out, Apple Bloom following and protesting.

"I'm not kidding, we can't be here..." but her protests were ignored, just as her account of her first time here had been. Even though it had been only a couple years, the images still haunted her. Still refused to go away. But worse of all was that nopony would believe it.

The sun went down fairly quickly, casting the quiet town in darkness, illuminated only by the occasional candle. Snips and Snails were wrestling on the floor, while Sweetie and Scoots were trying to come up with their own secret motto.

Cutie mark, cutie mark, special skill awake!

Shake your flank and... drink a milkshake?

Scootaloo frowned. "No, not good enough. We need something really cool."

There was a creak outside the door, and Sweetie looked up. "What was that?"

"I don't know, go look."

Sweetie approached the door, but the door swung open on its own before she could reach it, illuminating a skinny pony in the dim light. "Is it time to leave already?" She asked in confusion.

"No." The newcomer said. "I'm afraid nopony ever leaves here. Except for HER." She said accusingly, glowing red eyes focusing on Apple Bloom. "But we won't make the same mistake twice."

"Wait, what are you going on about?" Snips asked, while Snails was sitting on him.

"You heard me." The pony said, and stepped forward. Strips of flesh hung awkwardly from exposed bones, large decaying teeth chattering together as she talked. Her mane and tail were only barely hanging on. "Nopony ever leaves."

Sweetie Belle shrieked, Scootaloo stared at it. Snips and Snails just sort of blinked in confusion. Apple Bloom, however, was on her hooves in an instant. "RUN!" She demanded, and dove to the left. The skeletal pony followed her, and the other four dashed out through the open doorway. Bloom dove under a table, the zombie snapping at her, and slammed the door behind her as she ran out, earning a precious few seconds.

"WHAT IS THAT?!" Sweetie was demanding.

"Zombie pony! Ah told you, but y'all wouldn't listen!"

"We're listening now!" Snails pleaded.

"Don't touch them, do whatever it takes, but don't touch them. Just run for the train!" Bloom said. The five stuck close together, rushing towards the entrance to the town, but it was blocked off by two more zombies.

"Not this time, Apple Bloom." One of them said.

"This way!" Bloom said, skidding in a diagonal direction. Again, the way was blocked by zombies. Zombies closing in on all directions, pressing the five back to back in a circle.

"There's no way out!" Snips exclaimed. "They're everywhere!"

"I hate field trips. I knew I should've stayed home today..." Snails complained.

"Use your horns, they hate light!"

"I'm too scared!"

"Me too!"

"You're both babies!" Sweetie Belle said, and closed her eyes, making a scrunched up face and grunting noises. She was clearly trying very very hard, but her horn wasn't responding.

"Do something!" Scootaloo insisted.

"I'm trying!"

"Then do the sequel! Try 2: Try Harder!" Snips said.
" Snails snorted again. "Good one, Snips."

"We're gonna die..." Bloom said, defeated.

Sweetie dug her hooves into the ground, and let out a shriek of rage. "No we're NOT!" Her horn exploded with powerful light, causing several zombies to shield their eyes.

"Now!" Bloom yelled, and the rest dragged Sweetie Belle away from the town, pressing forward as the light drove the zombies back. Once the five were clear of the signpost, they ran, dodging zombies on the way.

"We're real sorry we didn't believe you, Bloom!" Snips said.

"Yeah, we're real sorry!" Scootaloo agreed. The five raced down the tunnel, piling into the train and locking the door. Sweetie's horn had turned off, and the filly looked exhausted.

"You did it, Sweetie Belle. Y'saved us." Snips said, and kissed the unicorn. Sweetie made a face and pushed him away. "Ew! Don't ship us, that's awful!"

***

"Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa." Sweetie Belle interrupted. "I'm totally stopping you there. There is NO way Snips and I would EVER kiss." She looked disgusted. Scootaloo was laughing.

"Okay, now we KNOW you're making this entire thing up, there's no way Sweetie Belle would get her first kiss before ME," Diamond Tiara announced, entering the train car with Silver Spoon.

"What are you two doing in here? This is for Cutie Mark Crusaders only."

"Cheerilee is telling some lame friendship story, it's boring," Diamond said. "What are you three doing, telling stories?"

"Yes, and these namby pamby stories aren't getting us any closer to our cutie marks! Especially the ones Bloom is telling. You already tried that story, Bloom. There's no such thing as zombie ponies, you really have to try harder than that."

"And you didn't believe me! It really happened, honest! Just... nopony saw it... except me..." her ears flattened.

Sweetie Belle looked confused. "But why did you have me save everypony with magic? I can't do magic, I can't do anything." She looked at the ground.

"Y'all can't do magic because y'don't believe in yerself. But ah do, and ah know yer gonna do big things someday. That's why y'were the one t'do magic."

Sweetie looked ready to cry. "Aww..." She tackled Bloom in a hug.

"Ewww!" Scootaloo made a face.

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "Whatever. If we're all telling stories, then I'm going next. It all started when I was a young filly, and-"

"No!" Silver Spoon demanded. Diamond Tiara's eye twitched.

"What did you say?"

"I said no!" Silver Spoon said, turning on her. "I'm always following you around, and you're always the center of attention, always going first, and always talking about yourself. I'm sick of it. I'm going next. And you're going to sit there and WAIT for once."

Apple Bloom's jaw dropped. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo actually cheered.

Diamond Tiara was absolutely livid. "Fine. You can tell your story. But I will NOT forget this." She hissed.

Silver Spoon looked as if she'd just set down a weight that weighed a thousand pounds. Her heart was racing, and the Cutie Mark Cruasders actually had quite a bit of respect for her at that moment.

"Right. So. Where was I?"

Silver Spoon's Story (Part 1)

The young silver mare was usually quiet, save for the times when she was agreeing with something that Diamond Tiara had already said. She hadn't always been like that of course, there had been a time not all that long ago when she was a blank flank herself. Silver Spoon had been picked on, of course, as all fillies and colts were at that time in their lives, and it wasn't a time she was particularly keen on experiencing again. She had gotten her cutie mark, the teasing had stopped, and she'd grown up just a little bit, at least until she'd met Diamond Tiara. Diamond had already had her cutie mark, and seemed insistent on labeling those without one as weak and unprepared. Not wanting to appear weak herself, and without any other friends to discourage her from such, Silver Spoon had quickly joined forces with the wealthy filly. A decision she'd been increasingly regretting as of late, but had not spoken these thoughts as Diamond Tiara did not like her henchpony speaking for herself.

Silver had finally put an end to that, and spoken her dissatisfaction. Diamond took it better than expected, and although there would surely be a confrontation later, for now, Diamond remained quiet.

"You guys wait here for just a moment, I'll get my suitcase and we can play with some of my stuff." The Crusaders looked thrilled, Diamond just rolled her eyes. Silver made her way around to the back of the train, which housed cargo. Her suitcase was easy enough to find, it had her initials monogrammed in it in silver. She opened it up, and a moment later six children rushed into the cargo hold, having heard a loud scream come from the cargo compartment. Silver Spoon sat with an opened suitcase in front of her, a suitcase which appeared to be empty. Silver looked horrified. "Of all the worst possible things that could happen, this is the WORST-"

"Just get on with it! What happened?" Diamond Tiara interrupted.

"My spoons are gone!"

Scootaloo blinked. "Your... spoons?"

"Yes! I collect spoons! Mostly antiques from my family's pawn shop."

"Your family owns a pawn shop?" Diamond asked in disgust.

"Yes, and I've told you that at least four times, if you'd ever show any interest in my life," Silver snapped.

"Well I'm sorry if I'm too busy to associate myself with old junk," Diamond countered.

"It doesn't matter! We have to find out who did this!" Silver insisted

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Snips and Snails were waving their hooves in the air.

"We know who can find your spoons, Silver!"

"Yeah, we totally know the greatest pony ever!"

Silver Spoon facehooved. "You two DO realize that Trixie isn't on this train, right? Isn't she in the middle of a performing tour in Germaney?"

"Oh..." Snips looked bummed for a moment. "But maybe she could-"

"Enough with Trixie! Trixie isn't helping us!" Silver said again. Both colts wilted.

Apple Bloom spoke up. "Don't worry, Silver! We'll help you get yer treasure back!"

"Yeah, totally!"

"We will?" Scootaloo complained, until Sweetie Belle kicked her. "I mean, yeah, we will!"

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS DETECTIVES! YAY!"

Diamond Tiara stared at them. "What was that about?"

Sweetie Belle grinned sheepishly. "It's just sort of a thing we do."

"Whatever." Diamond tossed her mane out of her eyes. "I'm going back up front, let me know when you guys are done messing around. I have matters of actual importance to attend to." With that, she left for the passenger cars.

"Okay, first we have to look for clues!" Scootaloo announced.

"Right!" Apple Bloom agreed. And then she stood perfectly still, staring directly ahead. "Will ya help us find Silver Spoons missing treasure?" She paused. "Y'will? Great!"

Sweetie and Scootaloo just stared at her. "What in the hay are you doing?"

"Oh, I saw Pinkie Pie do this lots of times! She said she asks questions to th'people on the other side of the screen and they tell 'er where stuff is."

"What people?"

"What screen?"

Apple Bloom frowned, and shrugged. "Ah dunno. She said she listens real hard, and they tell 'er."

The small group of children fell silent, for all of about five seconds. They listened really hard, but no mysterious voices told them where anything was.

"I'm bored." Scootaloo announced.

"Me too." Sweetie agreed.

"Me three!" Silver complained.

"Me... um... what comes after three?" Snips asked.

"Five?" Snails offered.

Silver Spoon just shook her head. "This isn't helping! First look around, maybe check for hoofprints?"

"That's not gonna work," Sweetie said. "We've all been running around and messing up the crime scene."

"Alright, we split up!" Scootaloo announced. "Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, we had experience as journalists, so you two go and inaugurate passengers, find out if they saw anything suspicious!"

"I think you mean interrogate," Sweetie said, and Scootaloo glared at her. Sweetie shrank back a bit.

"Sorry..."

Apple Bloom was a bit more enthusiastic. "Don't worry Scootaloo, we're on it!" The two fillies darted in the direction that Diamond Tiara had gone some time earlier.

"What should we do?" Snips asked.

Silver Spoon thought for a moment. "Scootaloo and I will check out the cargo compartment, and see if we can find anything out of the ordinary. You two see if you can get a hold of Trixie. We may need her."

The young colts eyes widened as if they'd just won the lottery, and Snails started bouncing with excitement. The two bolted out into the main train cars.

"Do we seriously need Trixie?" Scootaloo asked.

"No, but we don't need them messing things up, either." Silver Spoon said. "That'll keep them busy and make them feel important."

"Isn't that exactly what Diamond Tiara does to you?" Scoots asked.

Silver looked as if she'd been struck. "We'll deal with that later," she said finally. "Just help me look."

The two fillies began to search the compartment, carefully checking around various pieces of luggage. Some had to be moved, but all were placed back where they had been found.

"Find anything?" Silver asked, after about half an hour.

"Not a thing." Scootaloo's wings buzzed impatiently, but as usual, didn't get her off the ground.

"Maybe there's nothing to be found here," Silver sighed.

"Maybe. Let's check in with the others," Scootaloo said, and moved towards the door, kicking at a small pebble on the ground. "Cutie Mark Crusaders... hah. More like Cutie Mark CruFailures."

Silver looked at Scootaloo with genuine sympathy. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You'll get them eventually. And just think of all the cool things you've done together with your friends in the meantime."

"But I don't want it eventually, I want it now!" Scootaloo complained, edging towards the door. "I'm tired of- hey, what's that?"

"What's what?" Silver asked, taking a closer look at what Scootaloo was peering at.

Long strands of bright pink fur were caught on the door hinge, it was impossible to tell if they came from somepony's coat or from a mane.

"A clue! A clue!" Scootaloo was bouncing.

"I see it! And it looks like we have our first two suspects!" Silver Spoon announced.

"You don't mean..."

"We'll have to question Diamond Tiara. This is just the sort of thing she'd do, but we need more evidence before we can accuse her of anything." Silver frowned, although the theory made too much sense to ignore.

"And the other suspect?"

"Pinkie Pie."

"What!?" Scootaloo looked confused. "First of all, she'd never do something like that, secondly, she's not even ON this train."

"I've seen that pony pop out of a cloud, a chimney, a mailbox, and a locked cabinet. Just because she's not on the train doesn't mean she wasn't here. Don't bother trying to figure it out, your head will just hurt."

Scootaloo just sighed. "Well, I guess it's worth a shot. Come on, we have invigorating to do!"

"I think you mean investigating," Silver corrected.

"I'm surrounded by dictionaries..." Scootaloo muttered, and the two fillies raced off, deeper into the train.

Silver Spoon's Story (Part 2)

Diamond Tiara, as expected, did not take kindly to being questioned. "You two have a LOT of nerve accusing me of something like this," the filly warned. "Rest assured, my father will hear about this." Scootaloo and Silver Spoon had tracked her down in the dining car, poking at a salad.

"We're not accusing you of anything, yet!" Silver Spoon corrected. "All we're saying is that we found pink fur, and you have pink fur, so we're questioning you to see if you have an alibi."

"Of COURSE I don't have an alibi, I've been stuck here on this train with all of you," she complained. "And besides, I was just in the cargo train a few minutes ago when I heard you scream. We all came rushing in to see what was the matter, I might have gotten caught on the door in my rush in or out," she explained. "You were both there when it happened."

Scootaloo looked frustrated. "She's right, it could have happened then," she said.

Diamond Tiara smirked. "Of course I'm right, I'm always right. And I have some of the best lawyers in Equestria, so you better plan your next move carefully," she warned, and stormed away in irritation.

"Well that could have gone better," Silver Spoon sighed. "Now what?"

It was at that moment that Snips and Snails returned, both saluting. "Snips and Snails reporting for duty with an update!"

"Yes?" Scootaloo asked.

"We have officially confirmed that Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are not guillty!" They announced. It was hard at first to tell if they were serious or not, but that certainly seemed to be the case.

Silver Spoon felt her eye beginning to twitch just slightly. "That's wonderful." She deadpanned. "Did you ask any of the passengers as to their whereabouts?"

"Oh, yeah." Snips assured her. "We asked several of them if they knew anything about missing spoons."

"And?"

"None of them said they did. That's all we got."

Silver Spoon sighed. "Alright, go back about your duties. Scootaloo and I will finish up here."

The two saluted, and raced off into the next train car.

"So who else do we know that has a pink coat?"

Silver Spoon sighed. "I don't know! If only we had more time!"

At that moment, Cheerilee passed by them, doing a headcount. "Almost there, girls! Get ready for a fun, educational experience!" She said.

Both fillies exchanged a glance, and narrowed their eyes.

"Get her?"

"Get her."

The two charged forward, and everything else seemed to happen in slow motion. Silver Spoon bent backwards, sliding under one of the raised tables. Scootaloo, who was used to fancy tricks, threw several pillows in front of her to use as midair steps in gaining height to deliver a flying kick.

Cheerilee raised herself on two legs, a look of disbelief on her face. She leaped over Silver Spoon, who slid beneath her and popped up on the other side, while grabbing onto Scootaloo's front leg and swinging her in circles before launching her towards the ceiling.

Silver leaped into the air, catching Scootaloo and the two of them landed together in formation, blocking passage to the next train car. "Not so fast, Magenta Menace! We know you're behind the diabolical thefts on this train, and we're here to stop you!"

Cheerilee blinked in confusion several times. "Magenta...Menace?"

In reality, the two fillies had merely charged her and, not wanting to tackle their teacher outright, had settled on running in circles around her.

"Would one of you girls want to explain to me what's going on, before I start handing out detentions?" Cheerilee asked.

Scootaloo scowled. "We were telling stories and found Silver's belongings missing, so we're tracking down the thief on our own!"

Cheerilee facehooved. "Your things were moved, Silver. You know this."

Silver blinked. "I do?"

"The conductor wanted all valuables moved to the safe on the train to prevent anything happening to them. You were busy when we tried to tell you so I told Diamond Tiara instead, knowing how close you two are. I asked her to be sure to tell you, and she promised, I quote, "yeah, whatever.""

Scootaloo turned red. "So this was all for nothing?"

Cheerilee shrugged. "Indeed it was. And the whole lot of you can explain to me the importance of asking questions first when you're writing your essays tonight." She said. "Now hurry up, we have a lot to do today."

The fillies groaned in protest as the train ground to a halt.

"I guess we might as well rejoin the others," Silver Spoon said, heading towards the front of the train where the rest of the group was gathering.

"Yeah, I'm getting really tired of running around for no reason." Scootaloo said. "With my cutie mark training, you'd think at least I would be immune to pointing out the obvious. Like how my cutie mark is totally gonna be in train protection!"

"Is that even possible?" Silver asked.

"Sure, and I'm gonna get one!"

Silver just shook her head, and followed the others off onto the platform.

Author's Note

Completely lost the muse for this a long time ago so I'm just putting an end to it. Sorry guys. Happens sometimes, just haven't been able to bring myself to keep writing it.