I sat down, ordered a drink, and sighed. It had been days, and I just couldn't find her. No matter where I went, she was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't find Luna, no matter where I looked. I nearly put my head down and simply sobbed. Everything seemed designed to make me feel miserable. I didn't know what I could do about it.
"You look upset about something," I heard a voice call. The voice, while slightly higher, sounded eerily similar to Luna's. Immediately turning towards the voice as quickly as possible without breaking something, I saw a small, dark-coated unicorn mare looking at me. Her cutiemark was of a collection of stars. For a second, I thought it was her. But it wasn't. Of course not.
"Maybe I am. Maybe not. Why do you care?"
"Because I'm trying to be nice to everypony. What's wrong?"
"...I'm trying to find somepony, but I just can't find her, no matter where I look."
"Oh really? Who might that be?" She sounded truly curious. I doubted she was.
"If you must know... I'm looking for Princess Luna."
"Luna? I'm one of her attendants, and you're dressed as a Royal Guard. Didn't she tell you that she's on a trip for the next few days?"
I tried to stop myself. I almost did, too, but a few tears managed to roll down my cheeks.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine... No. No, I'm anything but okay," I admitted.
"I'm willing to listen to everything you have to say. Would that make you feel better?"
The bartender slid my drink across the table, until it was within hoof's reach. I grabbed it, drank it all at once, and immediately turned back to him. "One more, please. A larger one."
As the pony behind the bar prepared another drink, I turned back to the strange pony who for some reason cared about me, even though I had never met her before.
"If you really care, my name is Deep Darkness." I looked down. Damn parents, giving me such an atrocious name. Of course, looking down gave me full view of my even worse body. I looked like a zebra with wings. "Just call me Deep."
"Okay, then, Deep. I am Moondancer. I'm one of Luna's servants."
"I'm one of her guards. She never told us she was going anywhere. I can't remember even seeing her since I joined. For all I know, I've spent the last eight years guarding absolutely nothing."
"Is that true? I'll let Luna know her guards feel neglected. What reason do you have for searching her out yourself?"
My new drink arrived in front of me. I grabbed it and gulped down a few mouthfulls. I knew I would have to be at least somewhat drunk to say anything meaningful. "I... I want to..." I took a deep breath. "I want to ask her out."
Moondancer's eyes opened wide. "Really?" She looked away, then back at me. "Y-you should ask her out. I... know her very well. She'll say yes."
"That's not true. She would never say yes to me."
"Don't say that. Why wouldn't she go out with a cute colt like you?"
"Look at me." I didn't know why, but the urge to cry once again overtook me. I was able to force it back down, but not before a single tear fell onto the bar. "She's a goddess, and I'm some random guard of hers, half-drunk and spilling my feelings for her to some pony I've never met. Why would she go out with me?"
"Why would you go out with her?"
"Why would I not? She's beautiful. More beautiful than anything I've ever seen, and not just in body. Her mental strength... it's more than admirable. She was trapped on the moon for a millennium—a MILLENNIUM—because she had let jealousy overcome her. But when she returned, she kept her head held high. Higher than anypony ever could. She was the Princess of the Night, and she was proud. When her subjects feared her, she showed them why they shouldn't be scared, and she didn't have any trouble at all. Anypony else would have given up."
"You're wrong. Luna wanted to quit. I remember... when she first came back, everypony hated her. She wanted to leave. She wanted to just go away. Leave the world, leave the hatred, leave her life." Moondancer's voice started breaking. "If it weren't for a few kind souls, she would have done it, too. Yet even now, she isn't truly appreciated. Merely tolerated. And nopony loves her. If you could find her, if you could tell her..." Moondancer stared into my eyes, and I saw both sorrow and hope. "She would love it. Please, tell her you feel this way."
"I was planning on it. But after that... after that, after she refuses and laughs me out-" I saw Moondancer open her mouth. "-don't say she wouldn't-" She closed her mouth again. "-I will have nothing left to live for. I have no friends, no desires beyond her. I have no other ponies to care for." I was simply unable to stop the flow of tears by this point. "Luna is all I have. Soon, I won't even have the barest hope that she could like me back. I don't really even know why I'm admitting my feelings to her, when it will only cause me pain. I just couldn't keep it inside me anymore. It'll cost me happiness, but I'll find her, and tell her."
Moondancer smiled. "I think you've already lost happiness. But you should hold onto it, as much as you can. Would you like to know a secret?" She leaned into my ear and whispered, "I know where Luna went."
I immediately sat up. My pears perked, and I prepared my wings to fly me as quickly as I possibly could. I had better things to do than sit around in a bar. "Where did she go? I have to find her, to tell her everything."
"She never went anywhere. She's still in Equestria. Luna wanted to meet her subjects, to see what they were like when they weren't talking to a princess. She used some powerful magic of hers to turn herself into a Unicorn for a few days."
"Where is s-" I stopped myself. I allowed myself to take in Moondancer's features. A similar coat color to Luna, a similar cutiemark, a similar voice. "...Oh. I'm... I'm so sorry, Luna." I got up from my seat. "I'm so sorry..."
"Wait!" she called, earning a few quick glances from the other ponies in attendance. I suddenly realized that I had been so caught up in the conversation that I had somehow forgotten the other ponies were even there. "I loved everything you said! And I had already given up on finding anyone worth dating. Not many ponies ever attempted to court me, not even before I was banished. And not one of them has been half as passionate or true as you have been now! Most of them just wanted a position of power next to the throne, anyway." She smiled at me. "Haven't seen any cute colts like you, either."
"It's your job to attempt to please your subjects," I replied, but I stopped walking away regardless.
"It's not for you." Luna looked into my eyes again. "If it was for you, maybe this would be easier. But it's not. I want you to be happy, but more than anypony, I am doing this for myself."
I stood there, for a few seconds, then turned back to Luna. "There's a nice place a few blocks down. They say it's quite romantic. You want to go there? It's on me."
Author's Note
... I just reread this myself. Oh god. I didn't realize how terrible my writing was on this one. My quality is slipping a lot on these. I apologize to my followers for this one; it's bad. Hopefully, TSEWY will turn out better than one, though.
I walked along the dark street, the disguised Luna beside me. I had an urge to to wrap a wing around her, feel her soft coat against my feathers, and passionately massage her body, but I knew I couldn't. If I messed this up, if Luna hated me, the rest of my life would be empty, meaningless—at least until I found a suitable cliff to jump off of. No, I couldn't afford to advance this too quickly.
"So," I heard a voice whisper. "How long have you wanted this?"
"I...I can't remember. Years, surely. I know it was before I joined the Lunar Guards."
"And how long have you been a guard?"
"Since the moment I came of age. Eight years ago, now."
Luna stopped walking, and I nearly tripped over myself trying to turn around and face her as quickly as possible. "What is it?" I asked.
Luna looked at me. Her eyes had lost the shine they had had since we left the bar, and now were filled with a piercing sadness. "It was that long? For more than eight years serving under me as a Royal Guard, you wanted to ask me on a date so much, yet you never did." The mare hung her head. "That's awful."
"I never really thought about how long it was." I took a few steps towards her. "It was hard. I won't lie and say it wasn't. But I'm here now, alive and well. So let's not dwell on the past, and instead think about now."
"Well, I was planning on asking you about your childhood once we got there, but I guess I'll have to think of something along the way," admitted Luna, straigtening up and starting to walk again.
"You wouldn't want to hear that anyway. It wasn't very interesting, or very pleasant."
"Well, now I'm curious," she replied. "Are you sure you won't tell me?"
"If you really want to hear it. But, it's not a happy story. Maybe some day, but not now."
"Okay. How about this instead?" Luna had a mischevious smile on her face. "I can ask you whatever I want as long as it's not about your childhood. In return, you can ask anything you want. Agreed?"
"Agreed."
"Well, we're here," I noted as we arrived at the restaurant. The name was simple, yet elegant; the Canterlot Bistro.
"Ah, yes. Celestia told me about this place. She said they'd give her a discount if she said it was the best place in the city."
"Did she do it?"
"No," Luna chuckled. "But if they offer it to me, I won't be so proper as to refuse."
As we walked through the dark green double doors leading in, I saw the magnificent splendor of the restaurant. The fancily patterned, red velvet floor was carefully trotted on by well-clad ponies holding domes that undoubtedly contained delicious food. The tables had intricately designed tablecloths and candlesticks were lit on every table. I looked down at myself dressed in the armor of a Royal Guard, and then turned to Luna. "Perhaps I should rush back home and get something more appropriate for here, or else they might not let us in."
Luna reached into a pocket of her Royal Attendant's outfit and pulled out a small white card. On it was a picture of Luna undisguised, along with her age, height, weight, and other various things. "I could walk in here naked, and with this ID, they'd still have to seat me, even with Canterlot's strict policies on such things. Celestia permitted leeway for the Elements, but I have no idea how Fleur de Lise gets away with it. The best idea I have is that she bribes the captains with her body."
I immediately began blushing. "You sure we should talk about that here?"
Luna chuckled lightly. "I'm a princess. I can get away with anything short of assault."
"Well, my captain is a mare, and even she starts blushing whenever Fleur's brought up, so-"
"Excuse me, you two, but would you like to sit down?" A white pony, clad in a black and red suit, stood in front of us with a checklist, ready to write down which tables were and weren't taken.
"Yes, we would," answered Luna. "Charge it to this." She held out her ID, and the server's eyes widened.
"Come this way." It sounded like he was trying not to stammer. He turned around and led us to a table at the back of the restaurant, where two menus lay. "I'll be back in a few minutes to take your order."
"So, whatever happened to it being on me?"
"Who pays you?"
"Oh, I see."
After glancing at the menus, I chose a salad comprised mostly of extremely spicy ingredients, while Luna preferred a simple lettuce and tomato mix. We gave our orders to the waiter, then continued our conversation.
"So," Luna whispered. "Since I'm asking questions first, tell me this. Do you really think your female captain gets it on with Fleur?"
I groaned. "Do I have to answer this?"
"Yes, you do. And I can tell if you're lying, so be honest."
"Okay, fine." I paused to take a deep breath. "I absolutely believe they are. Captain Blazer has a picture of Fleur on her desk, and I lost track of how many times she's stared at it and started panting."
Luna chuckled. "Ah, Captain Blazer. Always thought she was a fillyfooler. Hmm, I just thought of a great prank to pull on her. Now, for my next question. What do you think of Fleur?"
After a brief moment to think, I opened my mouth. "She's pretty. She wouldn't have her job if she wasn't. But she can't hold a candle to you, Princess. Even in your disguised form, you are so much more beautiful than she is."
Luna cutely smiled at me. "Thank you. It means a lot to me hear you say that." Glancing over my shoulder, Luna continued. "Okay. I can see the waiter with our meals. Once they arrive, tell me what you would have done if I had rejected you." Luna smirked.
My salad was put down in front of me, and I used my fork to pick up a single pepper and bit into it. After swallowing, I answered. " I would have found a cliff and hurled myself off of it." I looked at my side, then quickly corrected myself. "Wait, no. First I'd find something I could use to hold down my wings, so I couldn't use them."
"What!?" Luna's eyes widened, staring at me over her bowl.
"You said you can tell if I'm lying." I peered over my bowl. "Am I?"
"No... but that makes it much worse! I shouldn't have asked that." Luna looked down at her food.
"It's okay. I've come to terms with it already. You can go back to how you were acting a minute ago, asking questions about sex and planning pranks on lesbian guard captains."
"Ask me something. It'll take my mind off that."
"Okay, then. What were you doing while on the moon?"
I saw Luna's body clench slightly.
"Is something wrong?"
"I don't like talking about it."
"Oh." I looked down at my food. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that."
"Well, now we're even. Not to mention, our deal was that you could ask anything you wanted to, remember?"
"Yeah, but-"
"It's okay. The only part of it I can say without getting kicked out of this place-"
I threw her a surprised glance.
"-Yes, even I would get kicked out. That's the part I am most comfortable with talking about, anyway."
"So, what did you do that you are able to say in here?"
"Only one thing, really." Luna looked back at me, beginning to smile again. "Writing."
"Writing?"
"Yeah. There's no wind on the moon, so I just wrote novels in the dust. Mostly about revenge. When the Elements of Harmony destroyed the hatred that created Nightmare Moon, it also took some of my memories of that time, so I can't remember most of them clearly. I do know that I titled one of them Moonbutt's Vengeance 2: The Vengeancing."
Both of us burst out laughing.
I somehow managed to restrain myself eventually. Wiping a tear from my eye, I went back to my salad. After another few bites, I asked, "Mostly about revenge? Meaning there were others?"
"Well, one of them I can remember really well. It was about some ponies in Canterlot having to do certain tasks or die. They had a way to create magical effects, even though they were Earth Ponies. Of course, I cast myself as the antagonist. But by the end, I, along with almost everyone in the story, was dead." Luna laughed. "Still a lot of fun to write, though."
"Sounds interesting. You should publish it."
"I'll think about it. I do know someone who could probably turn it into something worthy of showing everypony. Any other questions?"
I sat back and thought for a minute. "Yes, I do have one. Can you go to the moon anytime you want?"
"Easily, and I can take whatever I want with me. Of course, Celestia found a way to keep me there for a while. I've actually been working on a spell that creates a portal there, so other ponies can go whenever they want." Luna smirked. "Once I figure that out, I'll turn the place into an amusement park."
"Sounds like a plan." Glancing down, I realized my meal was almost gone. Time flew when I was with Luna, for better or for worse.
We spent the next few seconds in content silence, finishing off our salads. I cast Luna a few lovestruck glances as well, but I couldn't see her return one. Not surprising, really, since she had only just met me.
Luna requested the check and signed it with a flourish. As we got up and started to walk away, I asked a single, simple question; "Did you enjoy this?"
"Yes, I did. We'll have to do this again soon." The Princess leaned towards me and softly planted her muzzle on my cheek. "I have an idea, but I'll tell you in a few nights. How does that sound?"
I nodded, dumbstruck, as Luna waved goodbye to me and briskly trotted off.
I slowly raised my hoof to return the wave, then brought it to the spot on my face where she kissed me. Words cannot describe how elated I was that she had done something like that.
"I understand what just happened, sir, but I'm afraid you're blocking the door."
"Oh, sorry. I'll go."
I walked out of the Canterlot Bistro and cantered back to my apartment, feeling happier than I ever had in my entire life.
Author's Note
First reader to spot the shameless self-advertising gets the honor of being the first reader to spot the shameless self-advertising, and also a shoutout in the Author's Notes of the next chapter.
