The One and Only Twilight Sparkle

NINE YEARS AGO, I discovered a filly Twilight Sparkle lying in a blue wooden crate on the side of the road. On the side of the box, it stated in bold print: “Return to Dr. John Smith.” I didn’t know who this “Doctor John Smith” was, so I decided to take Twilight home and make sure she was okay. I didn't know who she was at the time, but I knew she needed help.

THAT NIGHT, when I got home, I first made sure the small equine was okay. “Are you okay, little one?” I ask.

“Uh huh!” she nods. I’m slightly startled that she can speak, but I was also surprised when I saw she was purple and had a unicorn horn, so it was expected she would have more surprises in store..

“What’s your name?” I inquire.

“My name’s Twilight Sparkle. What’s yours?” she replies in a high-pitched tone. I remember when I was a little kid, about 9, which is probably the human equivalent of her age. I had trouble pronouncing words with l, r, or s in them, and I got made fun of for it.

“My name’s Mark Dane. Are you hungry or thirsty?”

“I’m hungry. Do you have any soda?”

“How about a glass of water?” I ask, not sure if soda here was safe for her.

“Aww, okay.” She didn’t complain, and stood up on all four hooves from where she was lying.

“Where’s the kitchen?” she asks.

“I don’t think you can reach the sink, little one.”

“Ha, ha, you’re funny! You remind me of Princess Celestia!”

I hear a car door open and close. My parents are home!

“Listen, my parents are here and they can’t see you here.”

“Aww, why nawwt?” she whines.

“Because… I’m not allowed to have anyone over. I’ll get you a glass of water, but first you have to go to my room. It’s upstairs on the right. It’s the room with the big “Keep Out” and “Do Not Disturb” signs on the door. I didn’t know if she could read, but I hoped so. I heard hoofsteps on the stairs and a door squeal. I guess I left my door open a little. I finished pouring a glass of water almost exactly at the time my parents walked into the house. “Hi mom, hi dad, I’m,” I yawned, “feeling kind of tired, so I’m getting some water and going to bed.”

“Okay, good night Mark.” Says my mother, probably more tired than I am. I walk upstairs into my room, set down the glass, and close the door.

“Okay, so here’s the water. But… how do you drink it? You don’t have hands to hold it with…” The glass is suddenly enveloped in a purple aura the same color as Twilight’s unicorn horn. “Oh… that’s how.”

“Yeah silly, what did you think I’d do? Pick it up with my hooves?” She laughs, and I notice her speech is softer.

“Hey, your speech isn’t all high-pitched and… whiny any more..”

“I was faking it, duh! I was using the cute voice. No one can resist the cute voice!” she laughs after finishing her statement.

“I would have gotten you water anyway. I’m not cruel and heartless… am I? Do you happen to have some sort of X-Ray spell?” I joked.

“X-ray? What’s that?”

“It lets you see someone’s bones and organs.”

“Oh, that?” Her horn lights up and suddenly my chest is transparent. I’m not sure which was more surprising; a ten or eleven-year-old unicorn knowing what an organ is, or her actually being able to do spells.

“Huh. Guess I do have a heart. Who knew?” I joked. I took a spare comforter, pillow, and blanket and laid them out, making a small bed. “It’s not much, but at least it’s something.”

“Thank you Mr. Dane.” She lays down and falls asleep. I carefully walk over to my computer and sit down. I open up Firefox and search “Dr. John Smith.” I get a result for a lawyer and a fictional time lord from the planet Gallifrey. Next, I search “Twilight Sparkle.” I get a result for a purple pony unicorn with a similar color scheme to Twilight. I change my search to “Twilight Sparkle filly.” It pulls up an almost exact cartoon picture of Twilight. I bookmark the search page and close out the window.

THE NEXT MORNING, I woke up with a filly Twilight Sparkle staring me in the face. “Hi!”

“Aah!” I roll over and land on my floor.

“Is everything okay?” I hear my mother ask. I assume she’s about to leave for work.

“Yeah, mom, I just tripped.” I stand up and hear the front door close.

“Okay, we’re safe for a while. My parents won’t be home until late at night again. So… what should we do?”

“Do you have any science books? My parents always tell me I should read in my spare time.”

“Oh come on! Your parents aren’t even here, why can’t you lighten up and have fun?”

“I need to study for my HOOF tests… I mean, if I can take them.”

“We can play a simple game like Hide-and-Seek. It’ll only take a minute or two, and then you can study.”

“Alright, then I guess I’ll play. Who’ll hide and who’ll seek?” she asks.

“I call seeking!”

“Then I guess I’m hiding!” she laughs. “Count to twenty-two! I bet you can’t find me!”

I start to count and hear hoofsteps down the stairs and then more hoofsteps somewhere else. She’s actually pretty good! I finish counting and open my door. “Come on Twiley, I bet I can find you!” I look in the kitchen. Not in the pantry, not in the oven (although she doesn’t seem that unintelligent) and not under the table. I check in the living room. Not under the couch, the loveseat or the chair at the computer. She’s not behind the television, either.

“Hm, I bet you’re in here!” I open the closet and see a box with a small toy at the top. It’s lavender with purple hair. I laugh and pick up the doll. I hear laughing from the doll.

“Hey, stop that! It tickles!” I set the doll down and it becomes Twilight again.

“Knew I could catch you!”

“But hoooow?” she whines, jokingly. “It was the least obvious disguise ever!”

“It was lavender with a purple mane. Looks kind of familiar, huh Twiley?”

Twilight laughs, but then stops. “You… called me Twiley…” she sniffs.

“I’m sorry, Twilight, I guess I shouldn’t have.” She sniffs again and suddenly sneezes. I laugh. “Hey, cover your mouth when you sneeze! I don’t want to get sick with hay fever or something!”

She laughs. “I don’t have hay fever… do I? Oh no!” She runs around in circles, laughing. “Whatever shall I do?” She falls onto the floor dramatically. I laugh and help her back up to her hooves.

“So… why was it so important that I had called you Twiley?”

“Oh… it’s nothing, just something my brother used to call me. Don’t worry about it.”

“You have a brother? Could you tell me about him, if you don’t mind?”

“Well, his name is Shining Armor, and he really wants to join the Royal Guard. He does great in school but doesn’t want to become a scholar like I do. It’s a requirement to get into the guard that you must have good grades in school. In his free time, he “practices” for when he joins the Guard. He tried using a sword and accidentally broke a vase and decapitated Mom’s roses.”

I laugh. “Has he gotten any better?”

“Uhm… not really.” Replies Twilight. We both laugh.

“Maybe you could meet my older brother sometime. He’s training to join the Secret Service, which I assume is like your Royal Guard.”

“Cool!”

“So, Twilight,” I begin, “Do you have any toys from back home you really liked?”

“Well, uh… Noooo…?” She tries to hide the fact she’s lying.

“You don’t have to lie about toys, Twilight!” I laugh.

“Well, I didn’t have any toys back home… well, at least I wasn’t supposed to; my parents always said I needed to study and not play. I wonder what would happen to me if I had stayed there!” Twilight imagines her future self sitting in a library, alone, surrounded by books wearing reading glasses. “Actually, I’d rather not. Anyway, my brother would always make me toys; they weren’t much, just scraps of fabric sewn together, but I loved them. They were the only friends I had besides my brother; I studied so much that I didn’t even leave the house except to get more books… I… I think I’m starting to realize my mistakes. I should have made friends back home. I should have met ponies, said hello to everyone walking down the street instead of hurrying past them…”

I don’t know what to do, so I just sit down next to Twilight. “It’s okay… I’ll try and get you back home as soon as possible.” I then realize Twilight had only paused, and didn’t finish speaking.

“I’m… not even sure I want to go back.” She sniffs.

“Don’t worry Twilight. I’ll do anything I can do to help. That’s what friends are for, after all.”

Twilight looks up to me, and stands up. “Yeah. That’s what best friends are for.”

“So, best friend, want to play some games?”

“Sure!”