To Be Renamed

by SpiderDungeon

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 862

Yes, that IS, in fact, the actual title.

Friendship is an important thing, we all know this. 'Cause… Y'know…
Television… BUT, what if Friendship is the only thing able to maintain the very well-being of a trio, as well as their lives? What then? HMM??
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Yes, that IS, in fact, the actual title.
Written for shits and giggles. It MIGHT be good, it might not be. We'll see how this turns out.
Here we go…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-28 20:26:10 UTC

1: Mysterious Knowledge

"You smell like my little girl!" Said some poor sod before getting his head blown off.

"That's another one!" Eric said. I'd explain to you what he looks like but I'll let you make something up. For, like, all of the characters. Just for now, anyway, because screw immersion.

"No fair," Jack yelled, trying to pin blame on him. "You're stealing my kills!"

"It's not my fault you suck at this." he retorted. 'Kill Kounts', as they were dubbed, were usually Eric's strongsuit. The basic premise of it was to see who could rack-up the most kills before the end of a mission. He was good at those. And science. And overall jackassery. That didn't separate them though, Oddly enough...

"Teehee." Caroline said. No, really. She literally said 'teehee'.

"Shut up, Carol." Jack fired out toward her.

"Calm thyself, friend."

"YOU SHUT UP TOO." He shouted at Eric, who just snorted and repressed a smile that basically asked if he was mad.

The only sounds heard during the thirty seconds of silence were gunshots and humorous remarks from the Bandits.

"Fluttershy sucks." Eric said to Jack to piss him off. He knew how much Jack liked Fluttershy.

Jack just paused the game and slowly rolled his head to stare daggers at into Eric's retinas.

"Now you've done it." Caroline said.

"WELL THEN," Eric started, visibly worried. "I'm off to bed you guys have fun bye!" He showered out like a word... watering... hose... thing... SHUT UP.

He walked back to his apartment rather quickly for someone sooo tired.

Eric got to his apartment door and reached into his pocket for the keys.

"That, was a little too close for comfort..." He sighed.

He turned the key and opened the door.

Or he would have, if it didn't literally just swing open like in a bad horror movie. He just stood there with wide eyes, his hand frozen where it was a few seconds earlier before the door scared the shit out of him. He knew what do do though. If the lights didn't work, he wouldn't even bother investigating without weapons.

He flicked the light switch a couple times before concluding he wasn't going in there without Jack and Caroline, so he went back to their apartment.

"Jack, get us some of those seraded knives you have in your drawers." Eric said, hanging into the room by holding the doorframe.

"Why?" He said. "What do you need some of those seraded knives I have in my drawers for?" He asked, half suprised, half-mockingly.

"Seriously. Now." Eric said. Now they knew something was up.

"I don't see anything, Eric." Caroline said, holding the knife up, ready to swing it.

"Sneaking skill increased..." Jack said, crouching and holding the knives skyrim-style.

"Uhh, Right..." Caroline shook her head of confusion. "We checked all the rooms, there's nothing here."

Eric sighed. "I suppose. Thanks anyway, though."

"No prob, bro." Jack said, patting Eric on the shoulder. Caroline smiled as well.

"I suppose the plan will work with extras..."  Said a half-whispering, raspy voice said.

Darkness.

Chapter 2

Eric yawned and stretched. He assumed he had been overtired and collapsed from exhaustion onto the floor.

"It's awake!" Said a deep voice that could only be compared to that of a male character voice in open-world RPG games.

"Release the Kraken! Raaaawr..." Eric said in a loud whisper and lazily shaking his arms below his shoulderline for 'dramatic emphasis' while sitting up. He squinted his eyes, trying to adjust to the new amount of photons bouncing off of the nothing.

Crap...

"Wait..." Eric said, looking around. "WUT?"

"Uhh... Guys? What's going on? You still there?" He asked to (he hoped) his friends.

"Yeah, were here." Jack said.

"Let's fly to the castle!" Caroline said. Eric and Jack both laughed with her at her reference. GOD those things were annoying!

"You're not going anywhere!" RPG guy said.

"No it's a ref-"

"Silence!" He shouted, cutting Eric off mid-sentence.

"Silence!" Jack said, mocking his voice. RPG guy growled.

"Can you take the blindfold off him now?" Caroline asked RPG guy. "And like... NOT point spears at him?"

"Wait, what?" Eric said.

"Why, so he can kill us?" RPG guy said stupidly. At least to Eric it sounded stupid. He had no idea what was going on.

"Yeah, the unarmed friggin bug is going to murder us all." Good ol' Jack.

"Bug?" Eric said, now becoming concerned.

"He's obviously got you under a spell."

"Spell??" Eric asked frantically.

"What do you mean spell? As in like, magic spell?" Caroline asked.

"Of course, what other kinds of spells are there?" RPG guy said, like the answer was obvious.

Eric had enough of being ignored.

"COULD YOU TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!?"

"Shut up, changeling scum!" RPG guy hissed at Eric.

"I'm not--" The last piece of the puzzle fell into place. "Oh my god. You're kidding, right? Jack, you hired someone to pull a prank on me, right?" Eric asked, hoping it was just a joke.

"You know I'm too lazy to do anything like that." Jack replied.

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit..." Eric groaned.