Episode One: Satan Doesn't Pay Much Rent!
"Where is it?!" Lyra shouted, throwing a few books to the side. She didn't care where they ended up; Bon Bon could deal with it. She knew what she wanted, and it was Bon Bon's diary.
Lyra's mind raced at what she'd read in the journal. Sexual affairs? Murders? Missives to a dead god? Lyra could hear the clatter of lovely blackmail bits in her saddlebag already, safe in the knowledge that Bon Bon could never rebel against her because Lyra could discreetly and violently murder her and eat her flesh...her sweet, succulent flesh.
Lyra licked her lips at the cannibalistic thoughts as she rummaged through Bon Bon's private possessions. After throwing a picture of Bon Bon's beloved late father out of the window and straight into a filly's eye, she had found something close to the mark: A very large, leather bound tome.
Lyra traced her hoof over the five-pointed star adorning the rough, leathery cover. She licked the cover, and immediately recognised the material as goat skin. Lyra squealed in delight, as this could only mean Bon Bon was exactly the same as her. And to think I put her through hours of soldering iron torture after she found the dog scrotums in the bathtub so she wouldn't talk! Lyra thought to herself. I might owe her an apology. Might.
Lyra laid the book on a nearby desk, and used her magic to turn the page. She looked at the words. Words that spoke of a great evil named Beelzebub, the Father of Lies. Lyra scoffed at his name as she read on.
Suddenly, a great demonic force spouted forth from the cursed pages, sending Lyra into the opposite wall. She observed as a being of irredeemable evil manifested itself from the book. Lyra felt herself grow weak, as if this energy being was feeding off her very soul. Or lack there of.
"Lyra Heartstrings!" the vile being announced. "We come on behalf of our Most Glorious Master, offering a most splendid deal!"
"I'm listening!" Lyra said sweetly, attempting to make a good impression on the mockery of natural law.
"Allow us to take over your husk, and in return, we can only promise you unlimited power!" the creature cackled, causing every mare in the local area to miscarry, even the ones who weren't pregnant. Especially the ones who weren't pregnant.
Lyra pondered the options. On one hoof, allowing anything power over herself seemed a foolishly suicidal option. On the other, unlimited power. Lyra stared down the accursed being.
"I accept your deal on the condition I regain control after my end of the bargain is complete."
The demon laughed. "Miss Heartstrings! We would be sinners to not return your husk! We are offended you would think that we would not surrender control!"
The foul demon lunged forth into Lyra, causing her to float into the air for a few seconds, before landing again. The demon rushed out from her, screaming. "What are you!?" it hissed. "What being of such foul-minded, evil perversity would even walk this plane!?"
Lyra laughed condescendingly. "Aww, what's the matter?" she mocked, in a manner a mother might speak to her foal, if it were mind-numbingly retarded. "Am I too spicy for your Most Glorious Master?"
"Yes!" the demon cried in sheer terror. "Please, allow us respite in our world!"
Lyra grabbed the demon by the throat. "First, I'm gonna do you, you naughty thing, then, I'm gonna torture you...then I'll slice a limb off for my personal use, maybe your arm, and then I'll eat you! Oh, after I have my way with you again. I'm a mare of refined tastes."
"No!" the demon screeched, all too aware of its limitations against the mint-colored fiend. "Please! We only wished to make a deal!"
Lyra sighed. She trotted over to a drawer and withdrew a knife. She reminded herself to thank Pinkie Pie for the idea of knife stashes, in case of knife emergencies. Holding it with her magic, she castrated the demon, making sure to stagger the actual amputation as much as possible. Collecting the blood in her mouth, she swallowed the metallic-tasting elixir happily.
Then, she stabbed it in the chest and ripped out its blackened heart using her bare hooves. She took a bite out of it, then another, before the very antisoul of the demon was consumed.
"Now you may leave." Lyra laughed at the now-cockless minion of Beelzebub. "Tell your boss to come back to me when he isn't such a coward."
The demon retreated into the goat skinned tome, before it burnt to ashes before her very eyes. Lyra stared at the ashes, before shrugging, and returning to her book hunt.
"Lyra!" Bon Bon cried, as the unicorn in question spat on her hoof to lube it up. "I am not in the mood today!"
"But I am." Lyra said, dragging the other mare closer. "Plus, I have a new toy..."
"...What do you mean?" Bon Bon asked, fearful of the response most likely being a dildo covered in poison lobsters, or a strap-on with a built-in revolver.
It wasn't that Bon Bon didn't love her insane marefriend, but rather she was effectively trapped in an extremely abusive relationship she needed to expend all effort in escaping into a safe area and psychological therapy because Lyra was a cannibalistic, rape-happy, violence-fetishizing, amoral psychopath with a thing for animal genitalia.
"While I was looking for your diary so I could read it, I found an interesting book, after insulting your dead dad." Lyra said, giving the occasional punch to a crying Bon Bon's kneecaps as she paced. "When I read it, some pussy claiming to represent Beelzebub or something offered me unlimited power. I, of course, was simply too awesome for him."
"...Where are you going with this, Lyra?" Bon Bon asked.
"Well, while he tried to escape, I cut off his penis and ate his heart." Lyra grinned, holding the penis above herself.
"Lyra!" Bon Bon shouted. "Why would you do that?!"
"I dunno. I got bored!" Lyra replied, levitating the severed penis in her telekinesis. "Now bend over, slave! You're lucky I'm using spit!"
Leaving a crying and desperately praying Bon Bon in bed without even cuddling, Lyra showered, ate her breakfast and went outside. The blood from the filly's eye still lay on the sidewalk, giving Lyra a sense of satisfaction.
Lyra looked up into the sky, at a rainbow-colored blur. Lyra smiled as she thought of the day when she could cut off Equestria's best flier's wings and graft them into herself, and so becoming an alicorn.
Lyra smiled evilly for when those days come, and walked to work. She always had the most interesting Monday mornings.
Episode Two: The War on (Counter-)Terrorism - Part One.
THE WAR ON (COUNTER-)TERRORISM, PART ONE.
"Bon Bon!" Lyra screeched from the kitchen, glaring at Bon Bon's bank statement. "Get over here now!"
In a few seconds, the Earth Pony was there, sweating as Lyra approached her. "Y-y-yes, darling?"
"I was just looking at your bank statement..." Lyra said, waving the document in her face. "Justify the spa visit four weeks ago."
Bon Bon knew her fate was sealed. "I was invited, by C-Cherry Berry..."
Lyra stared at Bon Bon, the lack of anger in her face giving Bon Bon a foolish notion that maybe Lyra wasn't angry. "Bon Bon...do you know what is in the news right now?"
"...The debt crisis?"
"Yes, no doubt caused by our wonderful leader's military expenses." Lyra said, putting the bank statement on the kitchen counter. "Now, Cherry Berry, she may have money for these types of excursions...Bon Bon, guess what?"
"What?" Bon Bon replied, mentally preparing herself to be punched to the ground.
"We don't!" Lyra yelled, picking up an empty wine bottle with her magic and smashing it over her marefriend's head.
Bon Bon lay sprawled in the sea of glass. Tears streamed from her eyes as Lyra leaned over her.
"I hope you have learnt a lesson today." Lyra said calmly, before walking away. Before she exited the kitchen, she turned around again. "And clean up this mess! I don't want glass in my hooves!"
Bon Bon grabbed a dustpan and brush, before breaking down in tears and wishing she could just die already...
Lyra walked back into the kitchen. The floor was now spotless, except for a large shard of glass with a large bloodstain on it. Lyra smirked. She would've killed her "marefriend" a long time ago, but she was simply too entertaining. Lyra picked up the shard and licked it. The taste of Bon Bon's blood never got old.
Lyra thought about the mare. She knew Bon Bon surely hated her, and would take the first opportunity to murder her. Lyra realised just how much danger she was in from Bon Bon. Lyra took a quill and paper, and began to write.
Dear Mr. R.
I have one servant's contract for sale. Good at cleaning, and will perform any 'task' given. She has been faithful to me, but I wish to spread her good work. Would love for her to serve a new master/mistress. Make sure she goes to a good home.
Regards, Ms. H.
Lyra chuckled as she looked at the bank statement. Bon Bon wasn't going to spend any more of her money.
"Hello Bon Bon!" Mrs. Cake said happily. "Is it the usual?"
"Yeah..." Bon Bon said, taking the rainbow-iced cupcake and offering two bits to Mrs. Cake.
"Oh my word!" Mrs. Cake said, looking at Bon Bon's hoof. "What happened to your hoof?"
"...Nothing. Just grazed it on something sharp..." Bon Bon said, fearful of Lyra if she had told the truth. She waved goodbye to the friendly unaware baker as she walked out of the store.
Three masked pegasi rushed out of a nearby alley, threw a bag on Bon Bon's head, before flying away carrying her struggling body.
Lyra looked at the letter in her magic grip. She scoffed at how easy the capture was.
Ms. H,
We'll get her to a good home, don't worry about it, my most faithful friend.
We caught her outside the bakery. I enclose the standard payment of 400 bits, and I include two more for the cupcake she did not eat. In addition, this was our easiest capture ever!
Mr. R
Lyra laughed, before looking down and seeing that the act of selling her marefriend into slavery had gotten her horny. Seeing no other means of satisfying herself, she rolled up the letter into a rough cylinder shape.
"Oh yes..." Lyra moaned...
After masturbating with a piece of evidence in a crime against ponykind trial, Lyra looked in the newspaper. Most of it was the same tripe about Canterlot celebrities and Celestia's latest screw-up, but one advert stuck out to Lyra.
"Young Saddle Arabian immigrant seeking accommodation in the Ponyville area. Prefer non-smoker room-mate, but not fussy. Currently living under the Twilight Bridge."
Lyra slammed the paper down. A handsome young Saddle Arabian? Needing shelter? Could possibly be indoctrinated into a vicious terrorist? Lyra licked her lips at the possibilities. He might be an upstanding young fellow now, but in a few week, that will surely change...
Lyra laughed to herself, before heading out for the Twilight Bridge on the south side of Ponyville...
"Time to get my Saddle Arabian boytoy." Lyra said to herself, before setting out into the street.
