The Changing Lives of the Changeling Hive: A Documentary

by Grazy Polomare

Rating: everyone
Tags: Changelings, Random, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Original Character, Raindrops, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 17928

A documentary film crew is invited to the changeling hive!

I didn't choose the hive life, the hive life chose me

These are the words that are often heard but never truly understood in Equestrian society. For the first time, the Queen of the Changelings is allowing a tiny batch of our finest enthusiasts into her kingdom in order document the inner workings that go in maintaining a well-balanced structure that is the Hive. From maintenance and construction, to nursing, to farming, to even having an illustrious guard of their own, the Hive is way more advanced then anypony had ever realized. Delve into the inner gears that make this hive-like society so powerful in the rough desert region of its homeland.

Raindrops by Alecza1234
Derpy by RegolithX
Changeling Queen by Derpy-Maple
Cave background by fryslan0109
Camera by Evilbob0
Muffin by Derpwave
Changeling 777 by sofunnyguy
Changeling helmet by Durpy
and Proenix
Other changeling (Larvas) by Ackdari

Published 2013-06-30 17:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-30 04:38:36 UTC

Prologue: Arrival

What is a changeling?

As it turns out, the question is easier described by those with little knowledge on the subject. Changelings, if you asked the average pony-as we did in our survey-are the vile heathens who attempted to capture Equestria and use it as a feeding ground for its population. We are here to shed some light on this observation.

As you may or may not know, the most recent attempt of enemy occupation occurred during the grand wedding of Princess Mia Amore Cadenza and Captain of the Guard Shining Armor. The leader of these supposed shape-shifters is an individual known as Queen Chrysalis, who staged a coup to take over the city from within. We do not know how it happened or even at what lengths it took to make it happen. What we do know is that in the end, Chrysalis replaced Cadance, and portrayed her role as the bride, feeding off the magical properties of Shining Armor's love. She even went at such lengths as to hide both the princess and the Element of Magic in a long forgotten cave under the castle.

However, Cadance managed to unveil the Queen's plot, only for her to be too late. Before anypony could react, the Queen had already rooted herself at the center of power, setting forth a chain of events that initiated what would be known as the Invasion of Canterlot. While those at the wedding could describe Chrysalis vividly, most of the ponies had come snout to snout with her subjects. The changelings themselves appeared ruthless, turning into living meteors as they laid siege to the city. Upon landing, all the guards were incapacitated, the Elements captured, and the royal court taken hostage. Even Princess Celestia was defeated by the power Chrysalis had gained from Shining's love. Only by a stroke of luck, the soon to be married couple was re-united and their combined love produced a magical shockwave that sent the entire changeling armada into the air, landing in various places around the Equestrian countryside.

This is where we get to the part few ponies know of. Lost, disoriented, and rather perturbed with themselves, the changelings attempted to lay low, hoping to wade out the storm in anticipation for a second invasion. However, despite various attempts, that invasion never came to be. Instead, it appeared most changelings were -as they said- fed up with life in the hive and attempted a very risky, if not downright dangerous, maneuver. They attempted to show ponies who they were. Their gamble paid off as several ponies opened their hearts and tried to convince their peers of the changelings' good intentions. So, with time, Chrysalis and Celestia met to discuss the terms of peace. Within a week of the invasion, the changelings were adopted into Equestria's allies.

However, as newfound peace always turns out, it is not an immediate transition. Both ponies and changelings on both sides were at odds, still not entirely trusting the other. Some ponies didn't understand how the Princess could accept those responsible for a recent attack on their capital, considering the peace to be another act of deception. On the flip side, several changelings didn't want to associate with ponies, seeing them as a snobbish race that would make a better food source then a friend.

But with time, the changelings learned to love on their own, and even adopted normal food into their diets. They were no longer forced to scavenge and steal the magical emotion to supply their own arcane abilities.

As the months passed by, I myself learned to get use to changelings and even befriended one known as Larvas. He is quite friendly if not downright interested in my side-job as a documenter. And well...my main job on the weather team. In fact, it was Larvas' idea to make such a documentary on his kingdom. Believe it or not, the changelings still reside in their homeland, a vast network of caves and ravines known simply as the Hive.

I considered the project, bringing it up to Celestia, who then met with Chrysalis to discuss the issue. I was absolutely thrilled when I got the word to proceed. Apparently, they saw this as an effective approach to showing how changelings were when they weren't disguising themselves as ponies. Now with the permission to go about with my project, I decided that I would lead a small expedition, so as not to alarm the Hive of our presence, in order to film the daily comings and goings of this immense empire. It would consist of myself, acting as head expert. Larvas would act as our guide, explaining what most of the changelings did. Finally, my local mailmare-and former co-worker at Amanezon-happily accepted the position of our camerapony. Considering that our budget was low to begin with, and that she would only accept payment in muffins anyway, I decided that we could spend the rest of our bits on a camera built for extreme conditions. And lessons for my former co-worker on how to use it properly.

None the less, I had anticipated an easy excursion, since the adopted language is Common, a form of Equestrian. The night before, I couldn't sleep, despite Larvas' best attempts to assure me we had a long flight ahead of us. I dismissed him, believing that my experiences as a weather pony gave me an edge when it came to strenuous travel.

Sure enough, the changeling was correct about a long flight. Thankfully we all have wings, and made it without much incident, arriving at the base of the hive. And here is where our adventure begins.

"Raindrops?" a light grey pegasus called out, her yellow mane bouncing in the sunlight, "Raindrops where are you?"

"Here!" Raindrops answered back, pressing the red button on the side of the grey recorder. She had just finished her very long prologue, which she had somehow forgotten to do back home, when her mailmare and current camera pony appeared over an orange boulder.

"There you are," the pegasus breathed, relieved to see her jasmine-coated friend still intact, "I was worried something got you! Or that I somehow got you injured."

"It's okay Derpy," Raindrop sighed, "How's Larvas?"

Suddenly, a jet-black equine leaped from the shadows, his piercing artic eyes scanning the desert terrain for any signs of danger.

"Is pony alright?" His voice had managed to sound more and more like a stallion's but there was a still a faint hint of the accent he must have had before.

Raindrops managed to give out a little chuckle, the sound dying in her mouth from the heat. Looking around, she couldn't imagine such a place. In fact, this was almost as bad as Appleloosa. Taking out her camera, Raindrops hoofed it to Derpy, who began to juggle it in her hooves before precariously catching it with her teeth.

"Remember to strap it," Raindrops indicated the motion, "That thing cost me 100 bits."

"Okay Raindrops!" Derpy grinned, attempting to lift the strap without dropping the camera. It almost seemed that she would tangle herself with the strip before she proudly got it over her neck. "Ready to go Rainy!"

"You know which button to press right?" Raindrops prayed that Derpy had remembered. With a jubilant nod, Derpy pressed the big red button on the side, a bright orange light beeping to indicate it was recording. Breathing in, Raindrops smiled, seeing that the fates had not abandoned her yet.

"Alright," Raindrops spoke into the camera, presenting the arid landscape behind her, "Welcome to the Badlands!"

Derpy revolved the camera, managing to shift her position without having to shake the device like a rattle. Large, orange peaks and rolling tumblweeds surrounded the trio, the dust covering their hooves as the scorching sand nipped at their snouts.

Derpy concentrated as if the slightest drop would cause an explosion. And considering her luck, it wasn't that far fetched either.

"At first glance, this doesn't look like the foundation to establish an empire-" Raindrops paused for the effect "-But underneath this arid landscape lies a hidden empire that belongs to none other then the most notorious bunch of shape-shifters this side of the world."

Turning her head to face Larvas, Derpy carefully moved the camera, fearing that any small misstep would spell doom for her and her muffin pay check.

"This is Larvas"- Raindrops presented the changeling as if she was showing a model-"a changeling who will be our guide throughout this here Hive. Well Larvas, tell us a bit about yourself."

Larvas seemed to sweat under the gaze of the lifeless machine, occasionally shuffling his hooves, before managing a squeak. After what seemed like another minute, he finally took in a deep breath. "Well...name is Larvas...as mentioned earlier. I am changeling, changeling who resides under Queen Chrysalis."

He paused, glancing hopefully at Raindrops to see if this was all she needed. Seeing that she would need to direct her fellow guide, Raindrops began to ask a few questions. "What did you do in the Hive, Larvas?"

Larvas once again stared at his hole-covered hooves, prompting Raindrops to yell cut. As if she was a machine herself, Derpy immediately flicked the switch on the red button, winking at Raindrops. "No recording Raindrops."

Raindrops nodded, grateful to see her friend was picking up the camera stuff quickly. Turning back to Larvas, however, her smile turned into a frown. "Larvas what's the matter?"

"I can't do it," Larvas cried, his hoof pointing accusingly at the camera, "that thing...it scares me. So lifeless...so weird. I don't need to be under that kind of pressure!"

"Larvas," Raindrops put a reassuring hoof on the changeling. "Listen to me, I need you to get comfortable under the camera okay? You are our guide after all."

Larvas nodded meekly, "Indeed I am guide Raindrops, but I cannot tolerate camera is all. Can't we just write a book or something about Hive life?"

Raindrops stood back, admonished. "Of course not! Larvas, we cannot make a documentary into some book. We want ponies to be entertained. Imagine how successful this would be if we just wrote about it? There is room for doubt! Ponies would say this and that we're far-fetched. But with video, the evidence is indisputable. And ponies react better to pictures anyhow."

She paused, waiting for it to sink in. "Wasn't this your idea in the first place?"

Larvas seemed to gaze off into the distance, his lower lip falling under his scythe-like fangs. "I...see what you mean Raindrops. Very well...I will try...but it will not be easy thing to do."

Raindrops smiled, "Just think of Daring Do, you like that book series right?"

Larvas let out a sheepish smile before nodding.

"Well then," Raindrops explained, "picture me as Daring Do and you as my trusty guide helping me out."

Using the creative imagination stored in every changeling -or most changelings- Larvas began to morph his perception. Raindrops' Tiffany blue mane began to grey, a familiar pith helmet forming over her noggin. Despite it being temporary, the mental image helped. Slowly but surely, Larvas started to feel a bit more comfortable, his lips falling back into place. "I can do that! But what about Derpy?"

Raindrops studied the pegasus, who seemed entranced by the record button, before making up her mind. "Think of Derpy as another adventurer. Picture her without the camera. Maybe...she's...a...ummm..."

"MUFFIN!" Derpy blurted, her eyes riveted on Larvas. His teeth practically shining in the light, Larvas nodded enthusiastically.

"Good," Raindrops sighed, "Now Derpy! In three...two...one! Action!"

Larvas kept his smile, even waving at the camera. "My name is Larvas. I am resident of Hive hidden here, and we are not too far away. If you will follow me, we can avoid all the scary places no pony wants to end up in."

Indicating with his hoof, the pegasi followed their guide through a winding cliff, coming to a rather large-looking rock formation that resembled an anthill. Swiveling his head around, Larvas began to explain. "This is entrance to Hive C!"

"Hive C?" Raindrop repeated, confused. "What is Hive C my good friend?"

"Well," Larvas explained, "Hive C is one major section of Hive Complex. Hive Complex is composed of many wings, ranging from A-Z3."

"Z-3?" Raindrops inquired.

"Yes," Larvas agreed. "Queen has so many chambers we go through alphabet THREE times!"

It was at that precise moment that Raindrops wanted to faint. Three times? She knew that the changeling kingdom was quite enormous, but she dreaded the thought of not bringing enough power to keep the camera running throughout the entire duration.

Taking a deep breath, the pegasus began to relax herself, assured that no matter what, she would at least capture the good parts.

"Quite the hive then," Raindrops smiled at the camera. "So, I suppose we ought to let you lead the way?"

Larvas beamed, still caught in his daydream of being an actual guide for Daring Do. "I take you to hive, let's go!" And with that he began to skip down the sandy outcroppings, humming a tune to himself. Following behind, the two pegasi looked at each other despairingly, wondering just what they had signed up for.

"We are almost there!" Larvas cheered, skipping with more fervor. "I can't wait to-"

"HALT!" a thick, insect-like accent buzzed. The trio immediately froze, carefully scanning for the source. They were indeed at the bed of the cave, a rather ornate entrance decorated with several geometric shapes and caverns. Turning to smile at the camera, and vowing to edit the earlier segment out anyway, Raindrops pointed towards the dark, greenish edifice.

"Changeling architecture at its finest!" Raindrops prayed that her sweat wasn't visible. Meanwhile Larvas began to relay a series of clicks, checking under stones and over cliffs.

"The changelings," Raindrops continued, " unlike ponies, prefer geometric patterns and lines over actual portraits. Considering the fact that they can copy a pony simply through observation, one must wonder why they do not expend their artistic talents in their own empire. It is presumed that they do this because...well...they don't have much time on their hooves to begin with."

"There you are!" the accent buzzed again, causing Raindrops to reduce her eyes to slits as thin as her mouth.

Within seconds, another jet-black changeling appeared over the rocks, almost identical to Larvas. Although in this case, he was clad in an indigo set of armor. Well, rather an indigo piece of armor, albeit it looked like it was made of rubber. The changeling seemed to have concocted, or molded himself, some sort of helmet that covered the upper area of his neck and cheeks, with a hole for his horn.

The new changeling had a scowl on his face, clearly irritated by the fact he had lost them in the outcroppings.

Landing with a thump, Raindrops noted his spear, a dull stone tied to a twig. Sighing, she gestured to the guard, hoping to sound like this was intended. "And who is this Larvas?"

Larvas seemed to shudder under the harsh gaze of the sentinel, but none the less turned to the camera, an anxious smile now on his lips. "This is...a...sentry...one of many in Chrysalis' care. Sentries patrol the entrances to hives."

By this time, the sentry had noticed the camera, displaying a similar reaction that Larvas had earlier. However, this changeling simply shook his head, trotting forward to have a better look. "What is this?"

"Ummmm..." Raindrops began uneasily, "...a camera?"

"Sentries don't get out often," Larvas hissed in his companion's ear, "that and I don't remember him."

"Don't remember him!" Raindrops almost shouted the words, before covering her mouth. "Don't remember him? Aren't you all related?"

"Yes..." Larvas admitted nervously, "...along with around 800 others. I've been gone for a week at least Raindrops."

"I see," Raindrops sighed. She should at least count her blessings that Larvas had remembered enough to trace back across half a continent. Raindrops was sure if she was jettisoned hundreds of miles away from home, she wouldn't even know which road to take. Meanwhile, the sentry was now practically covering the camera's focus, examining it as if it was some sort of weapon.

Raindrops facehoofed herself, These idiots sure take their jobs seriously.

"I see you've never been acquainted to a camera before," Raindrops tried to imitate her best smile. "No worries though, this thing isn't a weapon."

"Not a weapon?" the sentry narrowed his bright blue eyes. "Then what the cocoon is it?"

"A camera!" Derpy triumphantly held the device up as if it was a piece made by Donatrotto himself. "It records what happens in the real world and turns it into a moving picture."

Raindrops wanted to cry at this point, but knew she couldn't have dumbed it down any further. Cocking his head, the changeling's previous conviction that the thing was hazardous now morphed into genuine curiosity as he inched ever closer.  "This thing can take moving picture? Remarkable!"

"Yes," Larvas chipped, "it is quite...as you ponies say...cool. Now sentry, we need entrance into Hive C!"

Whatever the intuitive mind had wished to know was instantly replaced with a fierce determination to observe one's duties. His momentary smile faded into a growl, and he slowly swiveled back, his moth-like wings beating a hundred beats per second as he flew up to the two equines. Apparently whatever the intuitive mind wished to know was replaced with a fierce determination to observe one's duties

"Where are your passes then?"

"Passes?" Raindrops shook her head. "We didn't receive passes, just your Queen's word that we would be let in without having to go through a hassle."

"Oh please," the sentry scoffed, "you little pony think you can just waltz in here with no pass? And even say my Queen gave you her own permission to enter? I've heard better excuses from Morpheus!" The changeling paused, as if regretting that last sentence. Turning to the camera, he whispered. "Don't tell him I said that!"

Derpy nodded, her cross-eyed appearance giving little confidence that she would fulfill her promise. Gingerly flying back, the guard landed next to her, engaging themselves in an idle discussion about cameras and how their day was going.

"Sentry sir," Larvas stammered, "can we just go through? Queen Chrysalis will recognize us!"

The sentry seemed to ponder on this thought, before shaking his head. "You try to deceive me into taking you to hive. Then, when my carapace is turned, you three will make a hasty escape and I get maintenance duty. No! I've worked too hard to get position and will not give it up for two little flying ponies and fellow changeling brother."

He cleared his throat, glancing back at Larvas. "Although changeling brother can go through if he wants. No harm in that."

Larvas sighed, before turning to Raindrops. "I have to go and get the Queen, won't be a moment long."

"NO!" Raindrops cried out. Both changelings and even Derpy gaped at her outburst, causing Raindrops to let out another failed giggle. "I mean...why can't this sentry just go in and get his Queen?"

Secretly, she didn't want to be left alone with this stubborn sentinel and her own...well...clumsy camerapony.

Larvas turned hopefully to the guard, who shrugged. "I can go and see."

Raindrops breathed a sigh of relief, bowing before the changeling. "Thank you thank you!"

The sentry waved a dismissive hoof. "Oh please, I will be back with Queen's permission and passes for you three in no time." With that, he darted off. Raindrops watched him go, chiding herself for this rather poorly planned expedition. Slowly turning to Derpy she managed to say the words, "Cut."

30 minutes later

"How long do we need to be here," Raindrops moaned, "I swear he said he was going to be back in no time! Does he understand the meaning of time?"

Larvas shrugged, observing the sun's pathway as it crossed overhead. "I told you I should have gone."

"We didn't even get his name," Raindrops ignored her companion as she began to roll around in the dust, creating a sandpony. Derpy on the other hoof, was still holding her camera, determined to be ready when Raindrops gave the go to record.

Larvas turned to view the cave, where a soft breeze was flowing through. "Well if he doesn't show up, I will be going myself."

Raindrops' felt a cold chill run down her back. "And leave me here with Derpy? Celestia knows how long it will be until you come back."

"That guard changeling really wanted to talk about himself," Derpy blurted nonchalantly. Raindrops froze, but quickly scrambled to her hooves, rushing to the grey pegasus.

"Did he give you a name?" Raindrops almost sounded hysterical. She did feel a little out of it, although anypony standing in the heat for more then ten minutes would probably have had their brains cooked.

"Someone," Derpy chirped cheerfully, "interesting name. I said mine was Derpy and we talked about muffins. Did you know Someone doesn't know what a muffin is?"

This news seemed to astound Derpy, while Raindrops just sunk to her hooves once more, burying her snout in the sand.

"This is hopeless."

Into the Hive: What's this stuff on the walls?

It seemed like hours had passed since the changeling sentry had left to fetch the Queen. In this time, Derpy had decided to finally stop standing like a statue and examine the camera while Larvas curled up on a rock, basking in the warmth of the sun. Raindrops just took another swig from a metal grey canteen of cider she had been hiding in her saddlebag.

"Sweet Celestia," she exclaimed, examining the metal canteen. "This tastes horrible! Maybe it's because I haven't felt the need to drink this stuff since that one night in Cloudsdale with the Wonderbolts."

"Or perhaps it is heat," Larvas inferred, "and fact that you no put bottle in cooler." The changeling decided to rise from his slumber, stretching his hooves and giving a few quick beats with his tattered wings. After lifting his ear to listen for danger-and determining that the worst thing they could run into was another patrol-the changeling trotted over to Derpy.

"Bah,"- Raindrops placed the cork back in her bottle-" if I brought a cooler I'd be lugging dead weight. The water would evaporate the moment I opened it. I'll be content with the fact that Celestia's sun doesn't fry the circuits on the camera."

The camera in question was nestled in Derpy's hooves, cradled like a foal. Raindrops wondered if her friend thought it was her filly, Dinky. It was certainly hot enough to suggest that her camerapony had already lost her mind. But few ponies ever had the skill to know what was in Derpy's head.

"What's sky Derpy?" Larvas sat down next to the pegasus, who turned to present him her camera, where she had managed to place a muffin sticker on the record button.

"It's not 'what's sky' Larvas," Raindrops corrected, "it is 'what's up my pony'."

Larvas blushed, facehoofing himself for still falling into the occasional hole that was grammar. "I don't get you ponies with your Equestrian greetings. Back at Hive, we didn't go through all this cryptic resin to say hi.  Why would you ask pony what is up? They know it is sky, or ceiling, or roof, or even crazy ninja pony if unlucky. But if you ask what's sky you are asking them what is in sky?"

"I see a bird!" Derpy pointed blissfully in the horizon, where sure enough a vulture was circling ahead. Both Raindrops and Larvas gazed up, despondently observing the scavenger as it descended below to land on a dried up shrub, eyeing the trio hungrily.

"I guess that sums up our future..." Raindrops sighed, falling on her back as she made another sandpony.

Larvas had to chuckle at his pegasus friend's attitude. One moment, she was shaking his hammock like a mad mare and the next moment, she was burying her head in the sand, chastising herself on pursuing this doomed excursion into the Badlands.

"Hey!" Derpy's eyes widened, "Someone is here!"

Jolting back to her hooves, Raindrops turned to see three black, nebulous shapes emerge from the cave entrance. The one in the middle was rather tall, exceeding the others. When the haze finally departed, Raindrops recognized the form almost instantly.

Despite having seen Chrysalis several times before, Raindrops realized she had never met the Queen on her own turf. Now that she did, however, Raindrops couldn't help but feel humbled by her presence. Her hooves were like stilts, with holes that ranged from golfballs to basketballs. Her tail and hair were of a deep teal complexion while her blue-green chitinous plating acted as a natural form of armor for her midsection. Her horn looked like it had been dipped in acid, but was as large as an elephant's trunk and her elongated pupils glowed a rather sickly green. She was, for all intensive purposes, the mother of all changelings.

When compared with Larvas and his tiny, blue plated chitin and rather short stature, it was no wonder she could easily command respect from her subordinates. That and the uneasy feeling that with hundreds of changelings backing her up, she held more power then when she was traveling abroad.

On the Queen's right, Raindrops noted the familiar sentry from earlier, his head drooped down like a foal who had been scolded by his mother. On her right, however, was a changeling clad in rather ornate metal armor, which was tinged a dak navy blue. The changeling himself was just as similar to the sentry and Larvas, but the difference was that his armor actually seemed to protect him, the helmet forming a pair of changeling wings that wrapped behind his ears.

"I'm terribly sorry about that mixup," the Queen spoke, her voice echoing off the canyon walls to sound like several voices were speaking at the same time. Raindrops was mesmerized, unable to move until the familiar voice of Derpy spoke out.

"Ummm Raindrops?"

Raindrops turned to see the pegasus holding the grey metal camera in her hooves, an awkward smile plasted on her face. "Do you want me to start recording?"

"It will not be necessary," the Queen answered, "I believe you are all very weary from your trip. We've prepared some food for you in the break room if you're hungry."

Raindrops shrugged, and motioned for her two companions to follow the Queen into the chamber. A rush of cool air blew into their faces, refreshing the trio as they descended down the narrow cavern.

"I am absolutely ashamed with myself for the inconsiderate behavior of my guards," the Queen turned to glare at both her escorts. The sentry just hid his gaze from her while the other let out a humph.

"Very sorry," the sentry apologized, "I had to go and check with my commanding officer; who had to check with his commanding officer; who had to check with his commanding officer; who had to-"

"Drone 777," the Queen facehoofed herself. "There is no chain of command nor is there any protocol I recall that states one must check with every single changeling in this compound!" The unknown changeling on her side scowled.

"I thought it was a good protocol," he sneered, "especially with all this peace and stuff one cannot be too-"

"Forgive me," Chrysalis interjected, "but allow me to introduce my Commander of the Guard, Morpheus Bloom. Designation 769 and an arachnophobic just so you know. I am sure you have already been acquainted with Drone 777, or Someone as he is sometimes called."

It looks like Derpy wasn't joking Raindrops felt a surge of guilt course through her veins, causing her to glow a bright pink. Attempting to cover it up, she decided to ask a question. "Why is his name Someone?"

Morpheus simply shrugged, "Because the nurses are a bunch of lazy-"

As fast as lightning, the Queen shot a hoof out to gag her commander's mouth. Giving a sincere smile that said she had only the best intentions at heart, she ignored the muffled obscenities that were now trying to escape Morpheus' throat.

"With such a large colony, I've been forced to...well...use some rather unorthodox names for my children. However, we prefer to adress him by his designation, 777. Most changelings will know who are you talking about if you ever need him. Hopefully, that will not be necessary."

"Why is that?" Raindrops inquired.

The Queen's smile took on a more mischievous stance. "Because I've assigned him to be your personal bodyguard throughout the duration of your visit."

"WHAT!?" Someone and Raindrops shouted simultaneously

"Relax," the Queen replied coolly, "I can assure you he will be no added weight to your crew, and will help keep back some unwanted attention if you so require. As for you, Drone 777, you should be honored I would grant you such an illustrious position as to join these three making changeling history."

"With all due respect," Raindrops whispered in the Queen's ear, "I can't stand him! And we already have Larvas here as our guide-"

"Which I am sure he will make a fine source of knowledge," the Queen interjected, "but I was going to assign a guard to your little band of film makers anyway. He will be no bother now that he knows you're with me. Also, I don't need him out there messing around with Who."

"Who?" Raindrops asked.

"Oh, I meant Who the changeling," the Queen corrected, "or Drone 775."

"Ah, that makes sense." Raindrops nodded, before sighing in defeat. "Well...I guess I can't argue with the Queen of the Changelings."

"You most certainly shall not," the Queen teased, "but you will like Drone 777 once you get to know his better side."

Raindrops rolled her eyes, "You mean the side that isn't ruthlessly dedicated to pissing me off?"

"Precisely," the Queen smirked. With that she pulled her hoof out of Morpheus' mouth, the changeling coughing up saliva as he stared incredulously at his leader.

They were now far away from the cave entrance, going deeper and deeper. All around them, Raindrops could see various geometric patterns and even a few emeralds, which casted a distant glow over the passageway. Pausing to inform Derpy to start recording, she ran up to regroup with the Queen.

"Amazing," Raindrops exclaimed, "I love how you've magically fused the crystals to the wall!"

The Queen let out a tiny chuckle. "Yes, normally this cavern and many others would be darker. However, Celestia has informed me your eyes are not as adjusted to the dark as ours are. So we've brightened the place up enough for you to see all the artistry that inhabits almost every aspect of changeling architecture."

"What is this stuff made of," Raindrops touched the rubbery black substance. Derpy was now flying overhead to get a better angle, occasionally stopping to gaze at a particular pattern, and then hurry back so as to not lose the audio quality on the conversation.

The Queen turned to face Raindrops. "Are you familiar with changeling resin?"

Raindrops shook her head in confusion, "I'm afraid not."

"Then I shall try my best to educate you," the Queen stopped at a group of changelings buzzing over a torn of piece of wall. A bit of the rubbery substance laid forlorn on the floor, the smooth rock revealed over the tear as several drones began to position themselves with their rumps facing the crack, forming a sort of hexagon.

"Well," the Queen explained, "when we initially began to live in subterranean colonies, we found that our eggs and well...prey...required some hardened form of webbing to cocoon them without much work. As it turned out, the answer was inside of us."

The drones immediately began to spray a gelatinous green liquid from...well...their bottoms. The substance stuck to the wall like syrup as one of the changelings fetched a tiny black box of various sticks and instruments. Grabbing a few of these, the drone began to carve out intricate patterns and structures, trying to copy the surrounding walls.

Meanwhile, both Raindrops and Derpy were gaping, unable to comprehend what they were viewing. Larvas only sighed while the Queen and her two escorts chuckled, until Chrysalis gave both of them a reprimanding stare.

"Anyhow, we soon realized that-due in part to eating a locally grown fungus-our digestive droppings solidified in minutes, morphing into a material as hard as wood itself, and yet very flexible. We took advantage of this, growing the fungus on a massive scale, while collecting love to power our magic to enhance the quality. In the end, we managed to achieve a rather impressive empire. Not only were we able to create sleeping pods and specific chambers. We were also able to camouflage ourselves into the resin, which allowed any would-be adventurer to easily succumb to an ambush. And...it also helps that the smell keeps many predators at bay."

"I wonder why?" Raindrops muttered sarcastically, following the Queen down the hall. Derpy, on the other hoof was fascinated with the work, even managing to fumble with the zoom lens to get a better look. She soon regretted this, as she couldn't figure out how to zoom out until she pressed every single button on the camera.

"Derpy!" Raindrops flew back to drag the camerapony with her. "Quit holding up the show."

The grey pegasus shook herself back from her trance, crossing her hooves behind her back. "Sorry about that Raindrops. It just looked like something you'd want me to record."

Or something I'd want repressed. Raindrops thought irritably. She deeply wished the Queen had kept the origin of their walls a secret. Now, wherever she went within this complex, she would be reminded that she was constantly stepping over changeling scat that had been molded hundreds of years ago. I just hope the audience appreciates what we have to endure for the ratings.

Once they had regrouped, they noticed that the tunnel now turned into several openings. Turning to the second one on the right, the Queen gestured for them to follow. "We are not that far now from the refreshments. Just past this tunnel."

Raindrops had to admit, that despite the disturbing explanation given earlier, the resin did make a great canvas for changeling art. Here and there, intricate patterns expanded in various directions, creating the illusion that the wall was constantly moving. Accompanying the walls, she saw the emeralds gleaming like light bulbs, which didn't seem to irritate the changeling's eyes at all.

"Aren't you guys blinded by this stuff?" Raindrops landed next to Larvas, who had taken to walking down the tunnel.

"No," Larvas answered, "changeling eyes are very good. They can adjust to any kind of illumination. From very dark, to super light."

"Impressive," Raindrops complimented, "you guys must really be proud of your retinas."

"We ought to be," Larvas beamed. "Changelings need eyes to do anything in this hive. We use them to build walls, farm fungi, watch over hatchlings, and steal pony identity!" He paused, looking over his shoulder to see Derpy hovering above his carapace, the recording light blinking like a firefly.

"I mean-"he chuckled nervously "-formerly stolen pony identity. But not anymore! Changelings good now! No stealing pony identity! Nope! No stealing here! Hehe." He slumped his head, embarrassed at practically feeding kindle into the already blazing inferno of mistrust ponies held towards changelings and vice versa.

"Hey Derpy," Raindrops indicated towards the ceiling, "go and take more footage of that pattern up there! I think it would be really good for the audience to see that!"

"Ooooo," Derpy beamed, "good idea Raindrops! I'll go and get to it right away!" With that, she flew off, crashing snout first into the ceiling. There was a thunderous, reverberating crack, and all eyes fell upon the pegasus. But, whether by good luck or the fact that the substance may have still been soft, the camera was intact and there was no cave in.

Once she had assessed the damage, Raindrops turned to lay a hoof over her gloomy companion. "What's sky Larvas?"

"Silly pony, it's what's up." Larvas gave another weak fit of laughter that died in a sigh. "I'm sorry. I just can't stand it when I make mess up and ruin documentary."

Raindrops tilted her head in confusion. "How did you ruin it?"

"I talked about old changeling past of stealing pony identity and love," Larvas grumbled, "now pony will think bad on changeling and changeling will just think bad on pony."

"Will they?" Raindrops playfully punched Larvas in the shoulder. "Larvas, you've shown yourself to be more then capable of gaining Equestria's trust. In fact, I think you're the only one who is keeping this show together. No offense to your siblings, but they haven't exactly been all that helpful in showing their good side."

Larvas let out a flirt of giggles. "That I can believe. But Larvas will try to be best guide on changeling hive, even if it means a few mess ups here and there."

Raindrops glanced back to watch Derpy playing with the zooms again, staring into the camera lens while she tried to readjust the strap. "Believe me...I think it will be more then a few mess ups."

"I hope you enjoy," the Queen presented the trio to a large chamber, where a crude boulder sat with several rusted metal stools. However, laying on the boulder, was an assortment of freshly baked cupcakes, pies, and even muffins.

Derpy nearly drooled over the camera, hypnotized by the familiar sight and smell of her favored treat. Yet, she managed to keep the camera away from the waterfall that was forming in her mouth.

"We actually bothered to send a few of our 'cooks' to Canterlot in order to learn how to make this stuff," the Queen proudly explained. "Believe it or not, changelings have a hard time retaining the abilities they mimic."

Turning to Someone, she indicated towards the wall. "You are now entrusted to guard these three with your life 777. Do you understand?"

Someone gave a mock salute, his expression stern. "I will protect little ponies and changeling brother with life your Highness. No fail this time!"

"Good," the Queen smiled, before turning to scowl at her other subordinate. "And as for you Morpheus, I believe there is need for another set of hooves to go about on maintenance duty."

"Oh come on," Morpheus moaned, "not again! I said I was sorry didn't I?"

A green aura wrapped itself around the changeling's ear, dragging him as the Queen turned to wave goodbye. "I will see you soon in my Throne Chamber! And lunch will be served at the agricultural chamber. I've informed Someone of your itinerary-and if he forgets- I also shared it with several others you will meet on your tour. Enjoy your stay!"

With that, she departed down the chamber dragging her Commander as he began to yell out random pleas to let him go. Meanwhile, Raindrops turned to Derpy, motioning with her hoof to stop recording. Flicking the switch off, Derpy seemed to whimper, her eyes darting towards the muffins, but her hooves unwilling to drop the camera.

Raindrops had to admit it was a little hilarious to see her mailmare so focused on her job that she wouldn't even risk breaking the device by gobbling muffins. "Relax Derpy, I'll take the camera off your hooves."

The grey pegasus lit up like a christmas tree, carefully passing the camera like it was Celestia's Crown. However, once she was free of the device, Derpy darted for the muffins, eating vigorously as she did so. At this point, Raindrops felt her stomach rumble and indicated for Larvas and Someone to come and join her.

"I cannot do that," Someone stated flatly, "for I am on guard duty and cannot be seen messing around."

"Not even for a bite to eat?" Raindrops motioned to the steaming dishes that her two friends were now devouring with gusto. "I mean, this is too much for any of us to finish and there will be left overs."

"The drones will recycle it," Someone resumed his rigid posture. "But I must guard trio of film makers less I want to get into even bigger trouble then I am in now."

"But there's muffins!" Derpy swallowed another batch of the golden brown treats. "I thought you said you've never had muffins?"

"I have not," Someone admitted, "but that does not justify that I can now. I am in big trouble as it is and do not need little ponies getting me in anymore trouble. Poor Morpheus already got maintenance duty for my mess up."

"To Tartarus with him," Raindrops grumbled, causing Larvas to give her a reprimanding stare.

"You shouldn't talk about him like that," Larvas warned.

"Why not?" Raindrops held her hooves out. "When I was working in Amanezon, my boss was just like Morpheus. Rude, self-confident, and making up ridiculous policies."

"I know he isn't the best changeling to give first impressions," Larvas set his piece of pie down. "But Morphy is just a little skeptical is all. He has had bad experience with you ponies. He was always chased out of towns and one time he was imprisoned after invasion."

"Oh," Raindrops dropped her piece of carrot cake. She hadn't realized that the commander had served time in the dungeons, even if she felt he deserved a day or two. "I guess I owe him an apology then."

"Relax," Larvas smiled, "he was always jerk before he got imprisoned. Prankster and in charge of various defenses and such. But all I ask is you be prepared for my siblings to appear like that. They have stuck with Hive for this long because they don't like Equestria. Sure most of us split our day between both Equestria and Hive, but there are plenty of changelings who still mistrust ponies."

"Is that why we have a bodyguard?" Raindrops pointed towards Someone, who was still standing in his fixed position.

Larvas shook his head. "I highly doubt siblings will treat you that badly. The worse they would do would turn you in to Queen, or act like any other pony who doesn't like others getting...what's the phrase...all up in their business?"

Raindrops giggled at her friend's understanding of pony culture. "Yes, well I suppose I wouldn't much like it if a camera was watching me do my job 24/7."

The two happily continued to eat, and Raindrops decided she might as well try and impress these changelings if she wanted them to cooperate. Noticing that the spear was hoof-made, she turned to contemplate on his helmet. "Say, Someone, would you mind telling me what your helmet is made of? Looks kinda cool."

Someone's expression softened just a bit, enough for a smile to pop out. "Ahhh, you notice Someone's best achievement: his armor plating."

"Yeah," Raindrops winked at Larvas, "I was wondering because I've never seen armor of that particular make? Where'd you forge it?"

"Well," Someone began, touching the disheveled helmet cautiously. "Commander Morpheus wants all changelings in Guard to have some kind of armor. We already have natural chitin armor and exoskeleton. But Someone decided that was not enough."

"Really," Raindrops had already begun to record, seeing this as another chance to gain some insight for her audience. "Well please continue with your story."

"Okay," Someone nodded, taking off his helmet to examine it. "I said to myself, 'What is easy armor to come by?'. As you may not already know, changeling armor is low because of cuts in budget. So Someone had to improvise as you ponies say. I went down to Hive Chamber G, and saw that maintenance crew were taking down old resin that had peeled off walls. Well, I took resin to make helmet!"

How the buck did I not see that coming? Raindrops scolded herself, her smile breaking for only a second. "So you used 100 year old resin?"

"Not just old changeling resin," Someone explained jubilantly, "but I used own resin too! Makes great adhesive to fuse helmet. And just as tough as chitin. I am envy of all changelings in Guard!"

"I'm sure you are," Raindrops muttered under her breath, "because clearly when soldiers use scat for armor, that's when you know the economy has gone way downhill."

"What was that?" Someone asked, his ears perking up.

Raindrops just continued to smile. "Oh I just thought your armor would make a great addition to our own Equestrian Guard."

"REALLY?" Someone squealed like a fan filly. "Someone's design you think good enough for your kingdom? I like idea. I like it a lot. Maybe when little ponies are done here, I go with you back to Equestria. Suggest idea no?"

"That sounds wonderful," Raindrops beamed, secretly beating herself for convincing a changeling to present his concept of recycled armor to Canterlot's influentials. What have I done? Only an absolute idiot would even condone that type of fasion to even be worthy of a defense force.

"That armor is amazing!" Derpy exclaimed, "where'd you get it?"

Construction and Maintenance

"First stop," Larvas proclaimed, "We are going to cut to Hive B to see maintenance crew #345!" With that, he led the group down a narrow passage that could only fit one pony at a time. It was decided that Larvas would take the front, followed by Raindrops, then Derpy, with Someone at the tail end.

"So," Raindrops poked Larvas. "What was your life like exactly before the peace was settled?"

"Life?" Larvas shook his head, his eyes intently studying the walls. "I was scout drone. Simple as that. I led field operation. What else would you have me say?"

"Well," Raindrops mused, "maybe your most daring expedition into Vanhoover? Or perhaps some heartfelt story for the mares back home. I don't know, something memorable?"

Larvas thought for a second, trying to think of any memorable tale he had to share. He could only think of one, and well...in all honesty...it wasn't as daring as it was stupid. But, it was something to give the audience. "Well, there is one story I could probably give you."

"Go on." Raindrops urged.

"You remember Canterlot Invasion no?"

Raindrops recalled the invasion vividly. Somehow, Derpy had gotten her a pass to go to the castle and be present at the actual ceremony when the Queen unveiled herself. The aftermath was pandemonium if she recalled. Ponies were running in all directions, trying to find loves ones and freezing when the said loved ones they found turned into monstrous, half-insect equines that covered them in a sickly green goo.

"Some of it," Raindrops lied. "Why?"

"Well," Larvas began, "I was a part of a special lance Queen had told to guard the chambers of Elements of Harmony. Morpheus was supposedly in charge, and it seemed we were going to win when they came. After that, it was total chaos on no changeling could tell the other apart very well. One of my own got stuck in a party cannon and...in my attempt to free him...cannon went off and we flew up into air, landing in some mare's balcony. We had one job, and Morpheus blew it."

Raindrops just rolled her eyes. "Gosh, if the Queen hated Morpheus that much, why did she bother appointing him the position of the commander?"

Larvas shrugged. "Because Queen saw that as easy job for him to do. He sits around, does nothing, and occasionally has to be present when Queen goes on trips."

Despite wanting to learn more, Raindrops dropped the subject and continued to follow her guide down the passage.

"What about a story from you guys?" Larvas inquired. "Or even Someone has story maybe?"

The changeling guard grunted, but remained stone silent. Apparently after reiterating his idea for mass-produced scat armor, Someone had resumed his duty to be the mute guard who said nothing and heard everything. And judging by the conversation placed earlier, he was probably thinking of several ways he could blackmail his commanding officer.

"Well..." Raindrops mused, "I guess I could talk about how I lost my job at Amanezon."

Larvas' curiosity perked up. "Was that not job you held with Derpy? How did you lose it?"

"Well," Raindrops began, "It had all started like any other day. We were moving some furniture to a house in upper Ponyville when we made a detour and got lost in the park. Well, when we did get to the spot, there was a holdup and we needed to unload some furniture. Nothing special mind you. Just an anvil, piano, wagon, hay bales, and a potted plant."

And from there, she went into full detail of how an Element of Harmony had been under them the whole time and how crushing Celestia's protege had been a bad slash on her reputation.

Larvas quizzically glanced at his friend. "How could you-"

"The point is," Raindrops interjected, "that we had an accident and...gravity took over. And it just happened that they miraculously landed on the Element of Magic."

"Oh," Larvas recalled the Elements of Harmony from his own point of view. He swore that on that day, he would never look at a party cannon the same way again. That pink one had scarred him and so many others for life. He still felt there was confetti in his snout from that encounter.

"I didn't need that schmuck anyhow," Raindrops said to herself, "and I got a full job on the weather team with Blossom Forth."

The group paused as the  narrow corridor erupted into a large cavern that stretched for miles on either side. In fact, Raindrops was sure they were at the bottom of an underground ravine, although she couldn't be sure. Here and there, Derpy filmed various drones mixing several questionable liquids together in immense, black cauldrons. Taking a bucket full of the stuff, they began to stick it to gaping cracks in the wall. It only took a moment for the entire film crew to realize the wall wasn't covered in resin. Instead, they were staring at barren rock, where several roots and various cracks had pierced the smooth surface like a tear through paper.

"Welcome," Larvas held his hooves out, "to Hive B Tunnel B12!"

Raindrops and Derpy glanced at each other, before turning back to regard their guide with blank stares. Larvas began to grumble about the lack of appreciation in construction. Sighing to himself, the changeling indicated down the hall. "If you'll be so kind as to follow me, I believe we will be able to talk with Alter on how this works."

They followed the changeling down a residual slope. At the bottom, Raindrops noted a slightly shorter changeling directing several larger ones to move a cauldron to the left.

"-and when you're done, go and check with Snatch over there to see what the buck is taking him so long!" the changeling shouted. Turning around, he seemed to flinch at the sight of visitors, before taking a low bow.

"Overseer 770 at your service." He held his hoof out for Raindrops to shake. Derpy, on the other hoof, was focusing on the two bulky drones lifting the cauldron.

"Derpy," Raindrops called out, " why don't you come here and get this?" The pegasus must have felt a rush of panic as she dashed back to her friend at lightning speed. However, the sudden rush of wind sent both workers wobbling on their hooves. For a moment, it looked like they might have managed to right themselves, but soon they began to wobble again, they toppled down the slope, the clang of the cauldron echoing along the walls. After a excruciatingly long minute, the sound abruptly stopped, now filled with the agonized groans of several changelings. During this entire ordeal, all heads had turned towards Derpy, regarding her with a mixture of fear and annoyance.

Derpy only replied with a sheepish smile and raised her hooves. "Sorry about that, I just don't know what went wrong." A few changelings began to grumble about accidents and hazards before they got back to work.

"My leg," a voice below cried, "my leg!" Several other voices were also moaning similar complaints. After dragging Derpy away from the scene of the crime, Raindrops decided to deposit her friend for the interview.

"Okay Derpy," Raindrops spoke out in a cheerful voice, ignoring the faint pleas for help, "in three...two...one!"

Derpy just sat on her rump, her eyes sullenly gazing at the ground. Within moments, her eyes began to water and she let out a tiny sniffle. There were a few furtive glances towards the grey pegasus, as the changeling workers tried to ignore the scene.

"Derpy," Raindrops patted her friend on the back, "don't fret about that! It was an accident! Accidents happen! Right Alter?"

She turned to give the overseer a lethal glare that said that any answer other then yes would result in his immediate demise. Nodding his head, he blurted, "Why of course! Just an accident!"

If Derpy didn't notice the perspiring changeling-which shouldn't be able to perspire-she suddenly nodded her head with a weak smile. "I guess I oughta get on with the show right?"

"Exactly!" Raindrops helped her friend up, despite the few groans that still echoed throughout the cavern. "In...three...two...one!"

The beep of the camera indicated it was recording as Raindrops gave her best documenter's smile. "Raindrops here! And on my right is a changeling known as Overseer 770 or Alter!"

"Hello," Alter waved, "I am indeed an Overseer. In fact, if you'll follow me, we're brewing a fine batch of adhesive!" The changeling led the party down another entrance that widened into a cylindrical chamber that rose at least twenty ponies high. In the center of this room, was a large wooden platform bearing what was...perhaps one of the largest cauldrons of all. It nearly took up the entire room, and several changelings were using tree branches to stir the oozing green mixture within.

"This," Alter proudly presented, "is what we call the Mother Mixer 3000."

"Nobody calls it that, " a drone spoke out, "just you Alter. Just you."

Raindrops was taken aback by the drone's insult. She had expected that-even if Alter was a jerk-the workers would obey him without question. "Does every worker here disrespect you like that?

"Well," Alter rubbed his neck. "I mean...don't you know how changelings get into construction?"

Raindrops shook her head. "I'm afraid there is a lot you'll need to tell me."

"No changeling," Larvas whispered, "actually likes to work here."

"What?" Raindrops turned to study the workers near the cauldron. Perhaps it was simply because she was in here long enough, but she could already see that not all of them were maintenance material. Some of them looked lean and tall, while others were bulky and had scars on their faces. "You mean to tell me that-"

"This is Chrysalis' version of prison," Alter interjected, "or community service if you will. This is the job that every changeling starts out with, and once they prove themselves, they are promoted to other positions in the Hive. But if you're a troublemaker, Chrysalis will send you down here to be punished."

"So you're telling me," Raindrops stretched her hooves in a vain attempt to encompass the entire cave, "that you just led us into a prison? Where the gates are unlocked?"

"No no," Alter defensively gestured with his hooves, "we have dungeons for the particular nasty changeling. But we haven't had use of them in quite some time. So this acts as an informal prison for those who just miss work, pull pranks, are bullies, have a tendency for pyrotechnics, or is just too clumsy to put anywhere else."

"Wait," Raindrops held her hoof out, "I heard pyrotechnics and clumsy. How do those fellas fit in with your job description?"

"The pyros just go and mix chemicals. As for the clumsy ones..." he glanced furtively at Derpy, regretting it when Raindrops returned her deadly stare.

"Mix chemicals?" Derpy scratched her forehead.

"Well," Alter pointed towards the cauldron "you see that gargantuan bowl right?" Both pegasi followed his hoof where the cauldron was suspended on wooden pillars. Nodding, they shrugged, not entirely understanding his point.

"A crack in the wall," Alter explained, "is a hazard for changelings. It also doesn't help with the occasional Quarry Eels making new ones."

"Quarry eels?" Raindrops shuddered at the thought of a hundred hoof worm just cruising through the Hive, causing unfathomable damage in its wake.

"Yes," Alter sighed, "but not like the ones in Ghastly Gorge mind you. These are their lesser known cousins that thrive in the desert. Not to be confused with a Fang-goliian Death Worm. Those can eat a drone in one bite."

In the back, Someone shivered, backing away into one of the connecting tunnels when he bumped into a worker, who shoved him back.

"Watch where you're going you slime...SOMEONE?" the changeling gaped at the guard's appearance.

"COMMANDER!" Someone saluted, despite the disheveled appearance of his commanding officer. The changeling was covered in soot, and all his armor had been stripped down. "I forgot Queen sent you down here."

"Eh," Morpheus waved his hoof, "I've been through worse like that one time when I had to be a pony in band camp..."

"...But going back on topic," Alter flew up the large, carved out semi-circle. "Cracks disrupt the flexibility of changeling resin. You know what changeling resin is right?"

"Sadly," Raindrops muttered, causing Alter to give Larvas a quizzical look.

"Ponies don't use crap for walls," Larvas explained, "just skip any part with resin okay?"

"Okay," Alter shrugged, "but anyhow. Usually a minor wear and tear can easily be maintained with added adhesive from...resin. But ummm, for the really bad ones, like chamber B for example, we need to use special mixtures. Usually, we have an expert trot down every new site to determine what cracks need to be filled. for especially big ones, like the ravine we're under, we need tough adhesive to keep the water and anything else from that ravine out."

Raindrops nodded, "So where do you get this stuff from? I mean, if it isn't coming from...well...yourself?"

"Usually we use ingredients and minerals found here. But for the real fancy stuff, I have to write out a weekly quota for every construction unit here for the field duty officers. Then, they will make sure to pick up any ingredients we need." Alter grinned at the camera, hoping to look good for the changelings back in Ponyville.

"Interesting," Raindrops hovered over the cauldron, much to the annoyance of the changeling stirring it. "What's in this barrel?"

"Uhhh," Alter rubbed his frill, "well this particular adhesive is Prima-Auta-Sigma-B12.34. Basically, it's made with several crystals from the Crystal Mountain, trotite, buckite, mareite, topaz, sapphire, some bungus beans, a branch from a decaying willow, some water from Froggy Bottom Bog, and...dragon dung."

What is with these things and dung? Raindrops facehoofed herself. "So Alter...this is experimental I'm guessing?"

"Kinda," Alter answered nonchalantly, "it isn't totally dangerous if that's what your asking. And we made sure to test it on some minor cracks. The question is if it can cover an entire ravine if it collapses. The Queen is thinking of installing new sleeping chambers and fungi farms here, so she wants it done pronto."

Huh? Raindrops turned to notice their guard talking with none other then the commander form earlier, albeit without the helmet and armor. Odd...what are they talking about?

Seeing that Raindrops was intently focusing on the two changelings near the entrance, Derpy silently made her way on tip-hoof to listen in. Alter, however, just shrugged and began to check the wooden foundations. As long as no one makes any sudden movements on this pot we'll be fine.

"Anyway," Morpheus shrugged, "what about you?"

"Oh," Someone cleared his throat, "little ponies want me to send out my helmet idea to capital city in Canterlot! Can you believe it?"

Morpheus suddenly burst out laughing, dropping his pickaxe as he rolled over the dirt floor. "That's the funniest thing I've heard in weeks, Someone."

Clearly, Someone didn't get the joke, slanting his eyes. "Is not funny Commander. They said I really might be good at it!"

Morpheus stood, locking eye to eye with his subordinate. "Do you honestly believe that?"

Someone shifted, stuttering as he spoke. "Ye-yeah?"

Morpheus seem to raise a brow, "Someone, she's lying to you. You actually think those cretins back in Ponyville or even Canterlot would even propose investing in that helmet?"

Someone was now starting to shiver. "Well...I-"

"Believe me," Morpheus interrupted, "I've seen enough of Equestria to know they wouldn't even dream of using our recycling system let alone our..." the changelng paused, looking up to see the camera's light blinking with mild curioustiy.

"Excuse me," Morpheus moved up to the grey pegasi," you're not allowed to film this-"

What's going on? Raindrops watched the commander shove Derpy down the tunnel, followed by Someone. Searching for her guide, she found Larvas  making small talk to Alter, apparently trying to catch up on current events. Taking a deep breath, the jasmine-coated mare slowly began to move forward.

"Hey miss," the changeling work chided, "will ya' quit being so darn creepy down here?"

The sudden outburst caused Raindrops to jolt back, crashing into the pot. There was a deep rumble, and a few heads turned to view the unstable cauldron. Even Alter and Larvas had flew up to the platform. There was a sound of splintering wood, and the two changelings hastily pushed their weight against the cauldron, the green liquid barely escaping the brim.

"We need to hold it back," Alter screamed, "just put enough pressure and-" But the wooden supports groaned as the pot slowly overturned. Before any changeling could react, there was a tumultuous clang and soon Alter and Larvas were carried away by a wall of...well...Prima-Auta-Sigma-B12.34

"I regret nothing that I've said," Morpheus replied grimly, facing the camera, "I told Someone what he needed to hear. You ponies ought to know this yourselves."

If Derpy took any offense, she didn't show it. Morpheus sighed, "I mean, really? Scat Armor? Who the buck would buy armor made with a hundred year old crap? I think I'm doing something really mature by telling Someone that. I mean...he's under my command and I don't need him prancing off to Equestria on some Chrysalis-forsaken quest to reclaim riches beyond his dreams and-what was that?"

The Commander turned around just in time to see two workers buzz past them, flying away from some unseen terror. For a moment, the three of them just stood there, confused. And that was when the large liquid wave of green adhesive began to flood the tunnel.

"RUN!" Morpheus turned, shoving Derpy and Someone as he made his way down the corridor. Someone followed, but Derpy simply stood there, captivated by the green ooze making its way towards her.

She could see several changelings trying to swim in the goo, which made Derpy question if it was safe. If she had any time to realize the danger it posed, it was already too late as she was engulfed in the wave of the slimy substance.

Meanwhile, Someone and Morpheus were buzzing down the hall, following the other two changelings to sanctuary. But everywhere, they turned, they saw only the smooth, barren surface of the tunnel.

"Where's exit?" Someone hollered, scanning here and there. "Commander, we're trapped?"

Morpheus turned to scowl at his subordinate. "What do you mean we're-OOF" He slammed snout first into the wall, a natural dead end that hadn't been excavated thoroughly. Getting to his hooves, the Commander turned to see the wall of adhesive cover the entire entrance.

"We're trapped!" A changeling shouted.

"It was an honor serving you, Commander," Someone grabbed his officer in a hug.

"GET OFF ME!" Morpheus knocked his subordinate to the ground. "I don't wanna die like that!"

"Who would do this?" A changeling cried out despairingly.

"Bucking documenters," was all the Commander had to say before closing his eyes to meet their inevitable fate.

"Well I have good news and bad news."

Raindrops, Larvas, and Derpy were sitting on an overturned piece of plywood, ignoring the glares a few passing workers gave them. Raindrops ignored them, considering the amount of trouble she had already landed herself into. "What's the bad news?"

Alter sighed, "The bad news is that you destroyed a month's worth of planning and I don't think our insurance covers this."

"Wait," Randrops raised her hoof. "You guys have insurance?"

"Ummmm..." Alter checked back and forth. "I'll get back to you on that!"

"Ok," the pegasus muttered, "and the good news?"

"The good news," Alter motioned to the tunnel, "is that the stuff wasn't actually that good of an adhesive after all. Something about a missing ingredient someone forgot to add. That, and your camera is in pristine condition."

"WHAT!" Raindrops heaved the metal device from Derpy's hooves, flicking the on switch as the machine slowly came to life. Sure enough, it was as if nothing had ever happened. "How did you-"

"Me and my brother have some experience...with your technology," Alter blurted, giving a nervous as he did so. "Anyhow, I think it's best you guys move on to your next stop anyhow."

"Well..." Raindrops turned to see Someone marching towards them with a lethal grimace. Raindrops was no stranger to a pissed-off pony, and she immediately rose to her hooves. "I guess we do have to get going! See ya!"

With that, the trio got up, following the sentry as he led them back up the slope. Alter looked back with a sense of longing to go with them. After all...it was a nice camera and he wanted to see it in action. But as his duty would have it, he needed to get everyone organized again.

"All drones sound off!"

Each worker yelled out his or her number, as Alter took out a tiny list which he marked with one of his fangs. "Ok...ok...ok...hey...wait a second...WHERE'S MORPHEUS?"

Scanning the tunnel, he saw no sign of the boisterous commander who frequented this cavern more then his actual job. He checked every rock, crevice, and cauldron, but with no such luck. After about a minute, he facehoofed himself. "That two-timing back-stabbing piece of resin!"

Fun-Gi

"So what's next on our agenda?" Raindrops turned to Someone, who only grunted. Throughout the entire trip, the changeling had not once bothered to talk with either pony, preferring to remain stone silent. The problem was that Raindrops had the uncanny feeling he was a little upset with them. Although it was probably just because of the accident in maintenance hive.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Someone chided himself. He should have known that no pony would ever want to be seen in that scandalous armor of his. Well I'll show these little ponies they can't mess with Someone, anyone, and everyone!

"We're almost there!" Larvas gestured to a another resin-secreted entrance at the right. "This will lead you into one of our best foundations of changeling infrastructure!"

The new chamber was just as enormous as the first. The ceiling was covered in a forest of stalactites that differed in size and thickness. Upon closer inspection, Raindrops noted that their lustrous appearance seem to give off a green hue, which was later found to be caused by a fine dust of a mysterious composition.

The bottom however, was more shocking then the ceiling. The cave floor seemed to glow like an underground lava pool. However, instead of a fiery red it was an icy white. The source of the glow came from the hundred upon hundreds of oddly shaped fungi. The fungi themselves seemed to be composed of various flaps rolled around each other to form a flower of sorts.

It was these leaves that seemed to give off the glow, although despite their varying shapes, they were placed in uniform rows, where several bulky changelings bearing old, woolen knapsacks proceeded to scatter a dark green meal with their magic. The only sounds were the thumping of the changeling wings, the drip and drap of the stalactites, and the occasional clop of hooves on stone.

"What is this place?" Raindrops asked admiringly. Someone just stood there, not wanting to speak less Derpy suffer from another panic attack and actually cause a mortal injury.

"This-" Larvas proudly presented with a bow, "-is the Agricultural Chamber!" And from there...well...all that was once quiet and serene was replaced with total chaos.

"HOWDY Y'ALL! AH'M Spiracles! You're go-to changeling for farming!"

The changeling before Raindrops was dressed with an old straw hat with what look to be charred off chitin on his neck. He was fairly short, and his fangs stuck out like a saber tooth cat. The sounds of thousands of chittering voices filled the cavern, as an armada of workers poured through from several openings in the ceiling.

"Hey there Spiracles!" Derpy smiled. "My name's Derpy! Derpy Hooves, your go-to mailmare...oh and camerapony too!"

The changeling began to holler like a coyote on cider, rolling on the floor while slapping his hole covered hoof. "Well hiya there missy behind the camera! Ah' can't wait to-"

"Alright! Alright! CUT!" Raindrops went within inches of the changeling, who was now timidly standing behind a boulder. "Listen here Spiracles! This is a documentary, not the Lone Ranger. I know you can speak in a normal voice and the last thing I need is a stereotypical changeling being-"

"With all do respect," Spiracles hissed, his accent dropping almost immediately. "I could talk like every other changeling you meet in this hive. Believe me, all of us find it easier to talk in that monotonous tone. But I actually enjoy a nice country accent and if you want those ratings you'll let me speak however Ah' please!"

Raindrops was no stranger to threats, but she was also no stranger to ratings either. And...as much as she would regret it, she nodded. "Fine, talk in that country accent of yours. But the audience wants a changeling, not another Applejack!"

"Alrighty!" Spiracles pulled out a straw hat that he laid precariously over his head, giving a toothy grin to the camera. He had never been filmed before, and if he was correct, all great actors started somewhere. Now was the time to show those fools in Los Pegasus what he was made of.

"So what's all this fungi I see around me?" Raindrops gestured to the glowing blue structure behind her.

"So if ya can guess," Spiracles proudly puffed out his chest. "This fungi is called Chrysalis Tuten. The lifeblood of the Swarm. Ya' can cook just about anything with it. Dip, soup, cake, mixed greens, sandwiches..."

"Muffins?" Derpy raised her hoof hopefully, her eyes regarding the fungi with mixed curiosity.

"Uhhh...Sure?" Spiracles had never seen the fungus used in that particular recipe, but since it was used in just about anything else, why not muffins?

"Ooooo!" Derpy began to dream of a glowing blue muffin whose taste would rival that of Sugarcube Corner. "Can we have some later?"

"Of course," Spiracles assured, although his quivering lip and shifting eyes didn't convince Raindrops. "Ummm...we just need a little bit of time so Ah' can alert the cook."

"Going back on subject," Raindrops flew forward, "can you give us a tour perhaps?"

"Right this way!" Spiracles seemed eager to drop the muffin subject as he led them down the patches to a downwards slope. In this sub-level of the chamber, Raindrops could see rows and rows of changelings just standing and...chewing. On the back, there was a large pile of various cacti, all cut up into several bit-sized pieces and arranged in front of the assmebly line of workers who looked like they were chewing cud.

"If ya' ever heard how a fungus works," Spiracles gestured to a neat row in front of him. "Y'all see that it needs tenderin' to feed it. We found that to be mulch."

"Mulch..." Raindrops repeated, her nostrils now flaring with repugnant smell as a two workers dragged a rather interesting green cocoon filled with some tacky substance that was a cross between dirt, leaves, and mushed fruit. "...where do you get it?"

"Yeah..." Spiracles nervously ran a hoof down his snout. "About that..."

"It smells like barf?" Raindrops had taken one whiff of the noxious stench and gagged. The stuff was horrible, and this was fed to the fungi? In Ponyville, the gardeners would only supply their plants with magic, seeds, or the sweetest plant food bits could buy. But no pony ever used such a repulsive substance as the changeling mulch being distributed before her.

"That's because..." Spiracles dropped his accent almost immediately. Two drones suddenly waltzed in, their jaws vigorously moving up and down as they chewed on various plant material. Both of them stopped at the small little bucket, before regurgitating their contents into the container. With a small hiss, they took it to the main mulch pile.

While Derpy didn't seem disturbed in the slightest, Raindrops collapsed, landing with a soft squish. A few changelings gave some concerned glances her way, but none of them bothered to help the yellow-coated mare. Meanwhile, Larvas was once again asking himself why the first two segments of this tour had to be composed of this.

"Raindrops?" Larvas was shaking his companion, while Derpy simply continued to get footage. "Raindrops? Wake up!"

Slowly, the pegasus' eyes fluttered open, her expression vague and oddly relaxed.

"Larvas?" Raindrops addressed her friend with a dreamy look in her eyes, "I had the worst dream today. Your home was made with crap and your food was grown with barf...and..." Her eyes began to widen as she took in the surroundings of the resin-secreted walls depicting several changelings ceremoniously upchucking into a bowl.

"Sorry Raindrops," Larvas tried to say in a soothing voice, "you're still in the Hive."

If you've ever had the realization that your nightmare actually happened thrusted on you, then the following reaction may be acceptable. Raindrops rolled over the floor, immediately regretting it once she saw the rubbery material of changeling resin. Everywhere she looked, she saw organic-made waste being turned into the basic foundation of society. How could changelings live like this?

First, she had to deal with changeling resin, and now she had changeling mulch. She knew it was rude to spit out your food, but constantly upchucking that slimy substance to make more food made her stomach gurgle.

"Think of it like the plant food you ponies use in Ponyville." Larvas tried to comfort the film maker with a little smile. He wasn't exactly sure how ponies did it back in Equestria, but wasn't their flower meal just chewed up plant material being used to feed plants? How was that any different from what they were doing?

This is the end of the beginning of my actor's career Spiracles sighed to himself, slumping on a rock, Well at least I get to keep this cool straw hat!

After taking a moment to breathe in and out, Raindrops decided that she had gone too far down the rabbit hole to come back out. "Well...on with the tour."

"So what you initially saw were the buds," Spiracles was leading the four changelings out of the chewing chambers and back towards the fungi patch, where workers were heaving large piles of the damp changeling mulch towards the corners. He directed them to a narrow crack at the end, where a bright blue glow was emanating from the entrance.

"Buds?" Raindrops repeated," what are..."

All of a sudden there was a deep rumble that silenced the group. Several workers were gazing up at the ceiling, scanning for the source as the rumbling grew louder. All of a sudden, a stalactite suddenly took off from its perch, smashing a mulch bucket to cinders.

"Ceiling having problems?" Raindrops indicated to the grisly remains of the mulch and rock as several workers congregated to the scene.

"Darn Maintenance Crew," Spiracles hissed irritably. "I've called them how many times? The resin is starting to deteriorate and we need some new adhesive to seal the old cracks. But despite having all the workers they could ever need, Alter can't even bother to assist us!"

"Why not?" Raindrops inquired. Alter didn't appear to be that cruel, and rather seemed genuinely happy of his work. "I thought he was making a ton of..."

"What? Can't hear you through all this chatter," Spiracles held his ear out.

"Nevermind it was silly," Raindrops sighed. If Alter had intended that large pot for the Agricultural Department, perhaps it was best to not describe the events that had transpired before-hoof.

"Anyhow," Spiracles grumbled, "Alter's too lazy to even bother with us hard-working farmers. You'd think he tried to put his food source as a priority right? But NOOOOOOOO! That resin-secreted grub is off playing cards with his brother half the time!"

"Maybe he's just swamped with work?" Raindrops suggested hopefully.

"Pfft, like I'm not buried in my hooves with mulch," Spiracles scoffed. "Alter just has to make adhesive, seal walls, and deliver it to me so I can put it on! It's irritating really. I swear between you, me, and all the changelings in Agriculture, our patience is growing as thin as ice!"

Raindrops gulped, her mind drifting off to the few strikes that she had seen in Cloudsdale. Angry ponies blockading a factory or establishment, terrorizing anypony who wandered too close. But it sounded like Spiracles was trying to take matters in his own hooves. Maybe changelings just settle arguments with a nice game of Apples to Apples, Raindrops?

"Going back on topic," Raindrops anxiously began, "what's a bud?"

"They are baby fungi!" Larvas explained fervently. He didn't need Spiracles to plant any bad seeds in his companion's mind. "When they grow, flaps turn into stool and then it is a matter of time to wait until they mature enough for picking."

"I see," Raindrops was noticing that the plants began to appear larger and more definite in shape. The flaps began to curl upwards, forming a sort of flat-head, almost like a nail. The stalk also appeared to resemble bark rather then the soft appearance she had seen earlier. "But how does one know when they are ripe?"

"That," Spiracles grinned, "is something I think you'll pegasi will enjoy!"

By now, the fungi was around the size of a cart! The luminescent blue was reflected by the resin to give the illusion that the whole chamber was an icebox. The fungi at this point resembled mushrooms more then anything else, or perhaps even jellyfish with the tendril-like appendages that hung off them.

"Wow..." Raindrops gasped in astonishment, her eyes reflecting the glow. "These things are bigger then my delivery cart at Amanezon!"

Spiracles gave a mischievous chuckle, flying up to one of the umbrella-shaped plants. "This...is Chrysalis Tutem at it's finest! Normally, they don't get much bigger then your common cat. But with the magic of love, these things absorb it just like us and grow to tremendous sizes. The best thing is that they thrive on Badlands soil, so we don't need to bring in that fancy stuff from Fillydelphia."

"But you haven't answered our question?" Raindrops raised her hoof. "How do you know when it's ripe? It seems you guys have to wait quite some time before they get this big!"

Spiracles simply laid back, his hooves behind his head as he momentarily allowed his wings to stop buzzing. As expected, gravity took over and the changeling fell right on top of the fungus. However, it acted as a trampoline, absorbing his mass before sending him back up. Both Derpy and Raindrops were captured in the comical image of a changeling-in a straw hat-bouncing up and down on a glowing mushroom.

"When. It. Gets. This. Easy. To. Jump. It's. Ready!" Spiracles spoke every word with each successful jump he accomplished before landing with a soft thud on the floor. The captivated audience immediately pounded their hooves for the performance.

On cue, two workers began to hover over the plant, using a scalpel-like device to scoop up the top. Then, they proceeded to store the substance in a tiny brown saddlebag marked with a faded happy face.

"You only harvest the top?" Raindrops pointed to the two workers.

"Only part we can eat safely," Spiracles knocked his hoof on the stem, which reverberated like a hollowed out piece of wood. "This stem here is too hard for us to chew, so we use it for other purposes. Sometimes they make good bowls, or spears, or a nice ingredient to add in that adhesive. Heck I think the Queen had a table made from this stuff."

"No part goes to waste." Raindrops playfully nudged Larvas, who nodded enthusiastically.

"You are getting it little pony." Larvas turned to catch a tiny smile on Someone's face before he replaced it with his stern scowl.

For a moment, Raindrops pictured what was outside of the hive. A harsh, desert wasteland where resources were few and danger lurked everywhere. Changelings couldn't afford to waste any bit of their production. Despite thriving on love, they had managed to scrounge up a suitable habitat through self-sufficiency.

"Blue muffins!" Derpy chirped blissfully. She could already picture this on the Ponys magazine being the latest in muffin technology. In her little world, this revolutionary blue muffin would not only change the way the world thought about muffins, but the way scientists would bake new muffins! Muffins would take over the baking community by force. No cake, pie, or creme brûlée would stop them!

But as Derpy dreamed of a muffin renaissance, Raindrops and Larvas decided to try out the edible trampolines. Larvas was the first to go, taking a daring jump on his carapace. However, the squishy surface absorbed him like quick sand before sending him towards the sealing. With an easy maneuver using his wings, Larvas avoided a collision with the ceiling.

"Come on!" he gestured to the mushroom. "It's fun! I did this all the time as a hatchling!"

I used a trampoline... Raindrops thought humorously to herself before she let her wings fall to her sides.

"CANNONBALL!" The jasmine pegasus felt like she was landing on a giant marshmallow, before she suddenly felt the familiar feeling of weightlessness often associated with flying. Below her, Derpy was waving away while Spiracles laid curled up on another mushroom, fast asleep. Suddenly, she felt gravity pull her down, only to land on the cushiony surface and launch off into the ceiling.

Larvas was now in perpetual motion, bobbing up and down on his bottom like a basketball. "Isn't this fun?"

"Yep!" Raindrops called out. "I haven't had this much fun since I was in Cloudsdale!"

It was true that Raindrops had never had time for fun once she left the city. Her work life in Amanezon occupied her days with endless shipments and deliveries. She barely had time to make friends, but she did manage to befriend one pegasus by the name of Derpy who would become her only real acquaintance, even if she was just a co-worker.

After the incident with Twilight Sparkle, she got a job on the weather team. There, she met Thunderlane, Blossomforth, and even Cloud Kicker. She even managed to befriend Sparkler, Derpy's adopted daughter. Even if she didn't want to admit it, Raindrops knew why she had really allowed Derpy Hooves on her trip.

Sometimes I wish we were back in Amanezon, filling out orders instead of living separate lives away. She had been so caught up in her thoughts she didn't hear the panic-stricken cries from her changeling guide.

"RAINDROPS!" Larvas bellowed, "watch-"

Before Raindrops knew it, she was suddenly flung off to the side, and into the grasp of another fungi's tendrils. There was a sickening whirr and buzz as if an electric circuit had just popped its cap. For a second, Raindrop's skeleton was comically shown beneath a dark silhouette as a dozen volts coursed through her body.

Within seconds however, her singed and scorched body landed with a dull thump on the fungus, bouncing up and down until Larvas carefully caught her and brought her down.

While Someone was gaping like a dumbfounded mule, Spiracles was hunched over the scene. "Don't worry, I know how to get rid of the body. Just put it in the mulch..."

"Are you sure?" Haze asked, his eyes shifting nervously between his commanding officer and the entrance.

"The local workers were talking about it," Morpheus hissed, now adorned in his armor once more. "I don't care if the Queen thinks maintenance duty is more important. This takes priority, now gather the troops and tell them to be on alert. But no drastic measures."

Haze nodded in understanding. "Alright sir, but when are you going to tell the Queen?"

"That's your job Haze," Morpheus was halfway out the entrance. "those bucking documenters are causing more trouble then they're worth!"

Healers and Conspiracy Theorists...

The first thing Raindrops saw was green light. Lots of it. So much so that it flooded her eyes. The next thing her senses picked up was a slight sting in her wing, followed by a smooth, gelatinous substance poured over her wound. Finally, she could hear muffled voices, but it was as if she was hearing them through a thin wall. Her eyelids grew heavy, her mind rattled off in some distant, dream-like trance. And darkness consumed her once more.

"None of this would have happened if you just warned her," Larvas shouted, his piercing blue eyes finally working their magic into piercing his brother's soul. "Honestly you call yourself Overseer of Agriculture for this?"

"Hey hey," Spiracles raised his hooves innocently. "I wasn't the one who invited her to start jumping without reading the safety guidelines! That was you!"

"And you wanted to hide body!" Larvas pointed his hoof accusingly. It was true that not ten seconds after Raindrops had apparently plopped "dead" before him, Spiracles had volunteered to hide the body. If it wasn't for Larvas managing to convince him otherwise, the pegasus may have been hidden under ten tons of mulch.

"Well excuse me for trying to help a brother out!" Spiracles grumbled, plopping onto a boulder. He was probably one of the few changelings Larvas had remembered, but clearly his sibling had let Equestria get into his brain. Now it was pony-this and pony-that, with no room for the good old times. Larvas had changed, and Spiracles wasn't too certain if he liked what his eyes were glazed upon.

Larvas, however, seemed oblivious to his brother's inner dilemma. "Oh like you would-"

"Will you two be quiet!" A third changeling yelled. Both changelings fell silent, their ears flopping down at the nurse drone's reprimanding stare. "You're friend is waking up."

The next thing Raindrops saw was four distinct black shapes huddled over her. Rubbing her eyes, she recognized the one in the back to be Derpy -who was still recording- along with Larvas and Spiracles, who happened to still be wearing his stupid straw hat. As for the fourth stranger, a changeling drone by the looks of it, Raindrops could only guess her status in this jumbled social pyramid.

"You alright pony?" the stranger asked in a gentle, meaningful tone. Now Raindrops was a 100% sure where she was. The memory flooded back into her mind like a tidal wave, sending out a million thoughts at once, but all concentrated on the exact moment she felt a stinging sensation race down her spine.

She managed a slight nod. "Just a little shocked."

The changeling chuckled, "Well I'm sure you already know where you are."

"Ponyville General?" Raindrops asked hopefully.

"I'm afraid not," the changeling sighed. "You're in the Nursing Chambers, Hive H. I'm gonna fathom a guess that they didn't warn you about the dangers of fungi?"

Raindrops cast a lethal glare at Spiracles, who gave a sheepish smile before backing a few steps.

"But we brought you here right?" Larvas gestured to the cave. "We knew what to do-"

"And we totally didn't try to hide you in the compost," Spiracles interjected. If changelings could sweat, Spiracles would be soaking wet by now. Raindrops didn't seem to blink as she regarded him dismissively. It was as if the electric shock had torn away her amiable attitude and replaced it with something...sinister.

But little did he, or any other changeling for that matter, know that this was the real Raindrops. A pegasus whose temper rivaled manticores, with a fury on par with dragons, and was about as formidable as a cockatrice army.

Larvas felt a cold chill pass over his shell, the feeling leaving him shivering in place. It was true that Raindrops had a temper on her, and that even a full course in anger management had done little to change it. But they had both agreed to watch their tempers. They were going into this together, for better or worse. And it looked like Raindrops might have just bucked the bucket back to Ponyville.

"Really?" Raindrops narrowed her eyelids. "Cause I'm pretty sure if I go through that footage-."

"Okthengottago BYE!" Spiracles flew off, vanishing behind another cave entrance.

"On with the tour!" Larvas heaved his friend to her hooves, ignoring the menacing glances she directed at the fleeing Spiracles. This would be the last time he ever let the changelings narrate their own jobs, although he figured it would all be in vain. And it wasn't like he could explain it any better then they could.

"I've just noticed something," Raindrops was already looking from her right to her left. "Where's Someone?"

"Oh," the mysterious drone giggled, "He was transferred to guard duty with Haze, but we'll see him again later!"

"Cover my arse!" Haze bellowed, before another black object leeched onto his face, causing the sentry to yelp out in shock. "OH MOTH BALLS HE'S GOT ME!"

The changeling sank in a dog pile of black fuzz balls while Someone gripped his spear tightly in his hooves, holding his breath less he make a sound.

The hatchling chamber was the worst punishment that could ever be bestowed on a guard, and only the bravest did it daily. Failing to protect the film crew had its repercussions, and the Queen was in no mood to hear reason. Apparently, Morpheus was running about, trying to consolidate power as usual.

Risking a peek, he leaned his head over the wall. "Oh lob me in a crevice..."

The legion of tiny little hatchlings from Tartarus were giggling with sadistic delight as Haze let out a few whimpers, no longer giving out his agonized screams from earlier. Immediately, Someone arched back, his heart pounding against his chest.

"Oh please oh please don't come..." the changeling closed his eyes. Carefully, Someone peered over the corner, and saw to his horror around 40 pairs of tiny, blue, adorable eyes staring right into his soul.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" But his screams were drowned out in a tidal wave of cuteness.

"Three...two...one...action!"

"Hello," the drone waved excitedly, "my name is Appendage, and I run the Nursing Chambers in Hive H!" With a careful nod, she led the trio towards a rather odd setting. Instead of beds, there were cocoons, and instead of uniformed nurses, there were drones who just bore a tiny blue fungi leaf around their carapace. It looked like a green meadow, with the cocoons hanging upside down, on the side, or upright. Most of them were empty, but here and there, Derpy could make out a few comatose drones suspended in some green, gelatinous liquid.

"This is the Cocoon Chamber," Appendage explained, "whenever a changeling get's injured, we put them here with a special mix of royal jelly, herbs, and other medicinal products."

"Interesting," Raindrops nodded, "and they just...heal over time?"

"Well sometimes," Appendage admitted. "Usually if the injury is serious, we have to heal them with our own hooves. Or tentacles...or claws...or even paws now that I think about it."

The nurse then motioned them to follower her out of the chamber and into another, much larger room. In this room, they could see what appeared to be chandeliers of crystal hanging over the ceiling, shining light on a plethora of various fauna that ranged from common herbs to poison joke.

"You grow herbs here?" Raindrops exclaimed, looking around the entire cavern. Suddenly, the green aura that had initially emanated from the crystal was replaced with a yellowish hue that made it feel like they were outside, under the hot western sun.

"WOW!"

"Indeed," Appendage chuckled. "These are mood stones, They alter their chemical composition to provide different types of light to each herb, in order to simulate the ideal conditions. We only grow herbs in high demand, or ones that we seem to miss a lot of."

"Amazing," Raindrops pointed to a rather depressing light-grey pair bushes at the far end. "What's that?" Plant itself was composed primarily of leaves, connected to a think stock with a large, bumpy bottom.

"Oh," Appendage went over to snip a tiny leaf off the plant, carefully placing it on the film maker's hooves. "That's called Dunder'mifflin."

"Dunder'mifflin?" Raindrops repeated. The surface felt course and rough with her, as if it was somehow irritated to be touching her skin cells. For some reason, the leaf felt like it had been somehow mismanaged in its growth, although Roseluck or even Daisy would have probably had a better opinion on the specimen.

"You see," Appendage chuckled, "we use Dunder'mifflin, sometimes we just call them dundies, for our scrolls and reports."

"Really?" Raindrops marveled at the idea.

"Trees need too much sunlight for our tastes," Appendage explained, "but dundies only require a minimal amount and the leaves themselves are a great replacement to the tablets we utilized."

"But why is it grown here?" Raindrops held out the leaf, which was now fading to a light brown, "wouldn't this be up Spiracles' alley?"

"Not really," Appendage smiled, "Chrysalis Tuten can be grown in large patches, as long as you supply it with love and mulch. But dundies only grow successfully in small groups, cause they like to hog the few nutrients they have available. So we entitle every changeling with growing it in their chambers."

"Self-sustaining aren't we?" Raindrops nudged the nurse drone. She had to admit the changeling empire had been quite successful in managing themselves under a desert. Subterranean farming, a community-oriented maintenance service, and a qualified team of medical professionals who had the ability to take the form of anything to handle any situation.

"Quite," Appendage smiled, "well...if you'll just follow me, Queen Chrysalis wanted me to take you down the hall for supper."

"SUPPER!" Larvas shoved past Derpy, his mouth salivating. "I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER-"

"...ask." Larvas sighed solemnly as a disheveled Someone plopped another glob of gabbagoo. The dish was made out of Tuten mixed with various cacti, tumbleweed, and finished with a hint of royal jelly. Traditionally, it was served on a plate of changeling resin, and the Queen had spared no expense on their current meal.

Their table was a rather flat boulder with slightly smaller stones serving as seats. Although Someone had apparently only been gone for an hour or so, he looked like he'd been through Tartarus and back. The changeling's armor was hanging off his ear, with a variety of new dents to accompany him.

Raindrops was also eyeing the dish with a dismissive eye, the very image reminding her of changeling mulch. "Is...this...even..."

"Gabbagoo," Someone answered passionately, "none of that pony hayseed from earlier. This is real food!"

"Mmmmmm," Derpy smacked her lips, before diving into her own plate. The pegasus had never witnessed changelings eating, but simply assumed that with the lack of utensils, she had to eat with her head. In Derpy's mind, this made practical sense as it showed that your stomach and mind worked in perfect harmony to enjoy fine food.

After treating each member with their fair share of gabbagoo, Someone proceeded to sit down and gobble up his own plate with renewed vigor. It almost helped Larvas to see his brethren devouring such cuisine before him, especially considering the fact he had almost forgotten what changeling cuisine tasted like. Without a second thought, he shoved a mouthful down his throat.

Initially, he detected a high amount of sweetness in his tastebuds. That was soon replaced with the sour flavor of lime replaced with a stinging pain as his tastebuds were set on fire. Larvas nearly spat his food out, but managed to hold it in, less he make a fool of himself at the table.

Larvas had never been a fan of this changeling dish, but as much as he hated to admit it, he did find the taste to be reassuring. After so much fear of ridicule for forgetting his culture, the changeling was happy that he still remembered his own distaste for local cuisine.

"You know-" Someone swallowed "-this is a tradition in changeling culture. Most of the hive is filled with pointless caves and chambers. And then all we have after that is more patches, more nursing chambers, and more...well...you know..."

"What?" Raindrops had pushed her plate back, deciding she didn't have much of an appetite to begin with. "What else could there possibly be to piss me off?"

"Well," Someone chuckled, "the Queen-"

"You were saying Sentry 777?"

Someone cringed at the voice of his mother and ruler. Standing right in the entrance, was the very Queen of Changelings herself. Her face appeared flustered, and her mane was no-longer neatly groomed. In only a couple of hours, it seemed the Queen had taken on three hydras.

"I must apologize," Chrysalis bowed before Raindrops, "you can't grow fungi without it having some nasty side-effects to it."

"Believe me," Raindrops scoffed, "fungi was the least of my concerns."

"You're not mad about our resin are you?" the Queen cackled. "It really isn't that bad."

Raindrops merely continued to stare down at her plate, occasionally observing Derpy dig into her own glob of gabbagoo. "Well at least I'll be with you-"

"I actually was meaning to get to you about that," the Queen pawed at the dirt anxiously. "You see, a problem has arisen and I...being the biological mother of over 800 of the most annoying, most trained, and most devious children this side of Equestria...have had to take matters in my own hooves."

Raindrops' face grew pale, the realization hitting her as hard as the shock from the fungus. "You mean-"

"I'm afraid the Throne Room will have to wait," Chrysalis bowed once more, "but after lunch, I've talked with Drone 777 here and he has agreed to take you to...well...a rather interesting place."

"What's it called?" Raindrops inquired.

"Well," the Queen distractedly darted her eyes to the ceiling, "it's an...intelligence center so to speak."

Larvas nearly spit out his own food, falling into a fit of coughing.

"Like the E.I.O.?" Raindrops offered. The E.I.O. was about as close as Equestria got to spies. Based in Canterlot, the Equestrian Intelligence Organization was profound in the art of espionage, primarily dealing with coupes and anarchists. Although Equestria was relatively peaceful, Raindrops knew for a fact that the changeling invasion wasn't the first attempt to seize power from Celestia. Therefore, the E.I.O. served as a warning system, alerting the Princesses of any potential threat that could occur outside or inside Equestria's borders. Every kingdom had some version of an intelligence agency, especially after the War with Discord, which some still called the Hot War after the mad god melted the southern polar ice caps.

"You could say that," the Queen really seemed to regret even mentioning the subject. "I wouldn't recommend you venture too far into this...but seeing as most of my overseers are now congregating to my office, I've had no choice."

"Well," Raindrops grinned, "espionage sounds fun! I mean...who wouldn't want to film that?"

"You're absolutely sure?" The Queen confirmed.

"Sure?" Raindrops guffawed, "I didn't even know you had an intelligence agency! What's it called?"

"The C.I.A." Chrysalis sighed. "Changeling Intelligence Agency."

Raindrops practically jumped in the air, as if the name itself brought her joy. Finally, she wouldn't be filming boring fungal patches or adhesive mixers. This was where the real scat happened. This was where spies thrived under complete pressure, and she was sure the CIA was probably one of the best. After all...changelings are probably one of the best spies a ruler could ask for.

"You going to eat that?" Derpy pointed at the cold dish of gabbagoo. Raindrops shoved it to the eager pegasus, who began to gorger herself once more.

This is going to be so AWESOME!

"You alright Larvas?" Raindrops gave a worried glance at her guide, who looked absolutely petrified as he propelled his frozen body on two beating wings.

They were going down a rather obsolete tunnel, although now there seemed to be a lot more chatter and buzzing coming through the walls.

"What's that noise?" Raindrops poked Larvas, hoping to add some animation in her guide's odd posture.

"We're traveling next to the Main Corridor," Larvas explained, "the center plaza for the black market and the CIA."

Sure enough, Raindrops could see the green light grow stronger as they headed deeper and deeper down the passage. And out of nowehere, the tunnel opened up into a spacious ravine, with walls as tall as Manehattan's skyscrapers. The group was stunned into silence, their jaws gaping as they took it all in. Here and there, changelings were flying from twisted corridors, although they appeared like tiny moths fluttering in the great beam of green light that flooded the plaza.

Below, tiny black ants seemed to scatter in disorganized chaos, their voices muffled by the sheer depth of the cave.

"Follow me," Larvas hesitantly motioned to a tiny ledge on the side. He had anticipated this for quite some time, but in his mind, he had secretly hoped his Queen wouldn't even entertain the tour of a former intelligence installation. Well, technically it was still active. But with one participant, the branch was dangling on a thread.

As the party continued down the ledge, they had to hug against the wall as two drones lugged an empty cauldron towards some unknown destination. Derpy was still trying to get a good shot of the entire chasm, using her wings for balance.

"So," Raindrops mused, "where is this...hidden-"

But the pegasus was muffled as a slimy black hoof materialized over her snout.

"Who are you working for slimeball?" a sinister voice hissed.

However, if Raindrops even had the ability to answer, she still would have gutted the assailant in the stomach. With a quick thrust of her hooves, she felt the hard surface of chitin as her would-be attacker fell from the wall.

"ARRRGGH," the creature cried out, rolling over floor like a wounded sheep. "I'll get you for that!"

The creature, or changeling, in question was only a bit larger then Larvas. He displayed the similar features common with all changelings, and in actuality...was no different then any other changeling. In fact, he was so normal in appearance that his words came as a surprise.

"Who are you?" Raindrops pointed her hoof accusingly, "and why did you just try to strangle me?"

The changeling stopped in his spasm of pain to regard the mare with an odd stare. "Strangle you? Please who do you think I am? The secret police?"

Raindrops felt a tug at her aorta her muscles slowly beginning to tense up. She still had some remaining adrenaline from the ambush, and the smartypants routine wasn't helping.

"Uhh Raindrops," Larvas buzzed in front of the two. "I'd like you to meet our Head of Intelligence...Reflect Fury."

"That's General Reflect Fury for you," the changeling barked as he slowly got to his hooves. "And just what in the name of Chrysalis is this?"

"We're a documentary crew," Raindrops stated flatly, "you know, the group that your Queen told you about?"

It was as if she had just insinuated setting off a bomb in the building as Reflect tacked the pegasus to the ground. "SHOW ME YOUR HOOVES! SHOW IT TERRORIST!"

Raindrops responded with another kick in the gut, which sent the changeling rebounding off a resin-secreted wall. Stumbling to his hooves with renewed vigor, the intelligence general was just about to attempt another lunge when Larvas blocked his trajectory.

"Reflect stop!"

Whether it was his amiable features or the fact he was a fellow changeling, Reflect halted to a stop, his eyes still giving suspicious glances to the documenter. "Larvas?"

The drone gave a timid smile. "Hiya Fury..."

In a matter of seconds, a wide smile encompassed the general's lips.

"LARVAS!" Reflect threw his hooves over the changeling in a bear hug, the look of primal rage momentarily wiped clean. "What a surprise! What a surprise! What a...wait..."

The general's scowl returned, his eyes darting between the two. "Why are you with her?"

"I'm a tour guide now," Larvas chirped eagerly, "so I am just giving these mares a tour of-"

"WHAT?!" It was as if Larvas had just pulled some reeking bag of puke for Reflect to feast his eyes upon. "Larvas, you're...you're with them now?"

"Yes," Raindrops stepped forward. "Larvas is no longer the Queen's scout drone. He's with-"

"Scout drone," Reflect chuckled, "you expect me to believe that hunk of mulch? Talent like that would be wasted."

Raindrops shook her head, confused as to what the general was blabbering about. Larvas had told her he was a scout drone, and while she did have her suspicions, this general looked like a wackjob.

Larvas, on the other hoof, was nervously twiddling his hooves, waiting for the bomb to go off. Reflect was still looking back and forth, as if he hadn't totally understood the awkward silence that had taken over the chamber.

"Uhhh Raindrops," Larvas finally spoke up, "can we talk in private-"

"NO WAY!" Reflect held his hooves out, darting a lethal glare at Raindrops. "I know this game! It's called Brainwash! And you miss think I would be so stupid as to let you take my best agent in the field and use him against me!"

"What?" Raindrops turned to give Larvas an incredulous stare. "Someone better start talking right now!"

Someone raised his hoof, but then let it slide when he realized he wasn't being ordered to talk.

"It's not what you think," Larvas knelt down, "honestly I didn't-"

"Nonsense," Reflect was now bent over the drone, shaking him with the force of a dozen stallions. "Larvas snap out of it! You're not a tour guide! You're an agent! A CIA agent! My best! SNAP OUT OF IT!"

For added measure, the changeling proceeded to snap his hooves, hoping that it would somehow cure the changeling of the dazed look in his eyes.

"Hey," Derpy came over the corner, a grin of pure bliss on her face." You should really see my latest foot-"

"SSSSSSPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYY!!!" Reflect tackled the grey pegasus.