Cold Rainby MDNGHTRDHTLNChaptersPart IPart IIPart IIIPart IVPart VPart VIPart VIIPart VIIIPart XPart XIPart IXTHE SEQUEL!Part IIt was cold tonight. As cold as it gets. If one were to cry, their tears would freeze before they hit the ground. Upon coming into contact with said ground, the now-frozen tears would shatter into tiny fragments. Now, you see, I could make this into a simile, this cold evening being the last five years, the tears being my self-composure, and the ground being reality. Why, you ask? It’s been five years since my friends left me. One day, they were there. Rainbow Dash had gone to her home in the sky, Pinkie to Sugarcube Corner, Applejack to Sweet Apple Acres, Rarity to the Carousel Boutique, and Fluttershy to her cottage. I had, of course, gone to the library. When I had awoken, everything was normal. I had eaten breakfast, gotten Spike up, and went out into Ponyville for another normal day. I was on my way to Sugarcube Corner, to get Pinkie. We had a previous arrangement, though I wasn’t sure for what. When I arrived on the porch, I noticed that it was quiet. Pinkie generally wasn’t the quiet type, and I was unnerved, if only ever so slightly. I opened the wooden door to find decorations about the walls and a large cake on the center table. The cake read, “Happy Birthday Twilight Sparkle” in pink frosting on its white body. Everything was strangely pristine, as if Pinkie was waiting for me. It’s probably safe to say that it was a surprise party for me, which means it was probably safe to say that the rest of my friends were there. I now noticed the party hats. There were six party hats scattered throughout the room. Two were lying next to the cake. One was on the ground next to the door, and another was resting on the countertop. Yet another party hat was next to the punch bowl on the table next to the cake table. One thing to remember: all of these hats were on their sides. Except for the final hat. No, this last hat was standing up straight on the table with the cake. Like it was never worn. Like a sixth pony was supposed to be there. Like I was supposed to be there. But now, on this cold night, I know I was supposed to be there. But I wasn’t, and now my friends were gone. That day, I had looked all over Ponyville for them. When my searches yielded nothing, I searched all of Equestria. Still nothing. My friends had left me, and they hadn’t bothered to tell me where they were going. That all changed with a letter from Princess Celestia. It was freezing in the library, as I said before, and now there were innumerous, tiny pieces of ice on the floor. The letter was long, but, for the sake of time, I must paraphrase. Basically, my friends have been gone for five years on a secret assignment from the princess. They were sent to the human world to act as explorers. They were to report their findings on the human world on a biweekly basis. But, the princess has not been receiving letters as of late, and this worries her. She wants me to go to the human world and figure out what’s going on. After not seeing my friends for years, I was in Canterlot as fast as I could be. You may be wondering, “Twilight! You’re a princess! Why are you not already living in Canterlot?” Good question, dear reader. You see, Ponyville was my prominent place of my residence during my unicorn years, and I want to stay there. Anyways, I was in Canterlot. The guards must have anticipated my arrival, since they were taking me to the castle’s deepest corridors within minutes of my arrival. After a short walk, we were in the room where I had first gone to the human world. There was a note taped to the mirror. Apparently, a while back, when I had chased Sunset Shimmer into the human world to get my crown, the ‘human world’ wasn’t the actual human world. It was like a limbo or something, a place where the two worlds bled into each other. By now, Celestia’s engineers had worked out the kinks, so it was safe to go through. Well, I guess there’s no point in delaying, so I’ll cut to the chase. I jumped into the portal, like a good little princess would do. When I got to the human world, it was night. I woke up in a back alley. A strange man, dressed in shoddy clothes was there, sitting on a bench. He was smoking a cigarette. “Hey there, pretty thing. You seem to have just popped out of the sky. Need any…help of the… sexual kind?” “Excuse me? Get lost.” I responded. What a nice first encounter, no? “Now listen here, little miss,” he advanced. “I don’t take too kindly to people not showing me any respect.” “That’s too bad. Again, get lost.” He didn’t seem to like my words, so he pulled out a small, rectangular box from his back pocket. He pressed a button on its side, revealing a small, pointed edge. A switchblade. He started to walk towards me, blade outstretched. “LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!” The man wheeled around on his heels. “What the hell was-,” Before he could finish his innocent query, a dark figure ran towards our friendly neighborhood creep, jumping up and kicking him in the chest. The man hit the floor with an audible thud. The dark figure ran at the man’s crumpled body. She pulled her own switchblade from her pocket and held it against his neck. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t slice your throat open right now.” The man said nothing. I decided not to interfere with their business. That would be rude. “Okay. I can take the silent treatment.” The figure was slightly illuminated from the neon lights that bore down on us. I could see it was a woman, about average height. She was slim in figure, but still healthy-looking. I couldn’t make out any other physical features. She reached for her back pocket, and pulled out a small, white packet of something. She took her knife, and cut open the man’s cheek. It was a small, clean cut, like she had done this before. It still looked like it hurt, and it probably did, given that the man was crying now, and a small puddle of tears and blood were forming on the ground underneath his head. Then, my savior, if I can call her that, opened up the packet. She took the opened packet, positioned it over the man’s cheek, and tilted it. Small, translucent granules of something fell onto the wound. It was salt. Salt and open wounds never mix particularly well. The woman took her hand and clamped it over the man’s mouth, stifling his screams. “Listen to me, and listen close, you fucker. Say another word to her, and I will stuff you and hang you on my fucking wall. Got it?” The man nodded yes. “Good. Now get the fuck out of my sight.” The man got up and ran away as fast as he could. My savior got up, dusted herself off, and looked at me. I could see her more clearly now. Her black hair fell in front of her red eyes. She was wearing a leather jacket, with a blue collared shirt underneath. She was also wearing black jeans with chains hanging from the belt loops. Black boots covered her feet. Although she looked different, there was something about her… and her voice was familiar… “Rainbow Dash?” I asked. She gave me a sideways glance, like she didn’t know what I was talking about. Not her. “Sorry. I mistook you for-,” “Twilight?” Part II“Holy shit! Fucking hell! Twilight! How have you been?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I’m okay. How are you?” “I’m doing fucking great! Better, now that you’re here!” “It’s good to see you too, Rainbow Dash.” “You, uh… you haven’t been to the actual human world, have you?” “No, I haven’t.” “Okay. First things first. Here, you can’t call me Rainbow Dash.” “Why not?” “It’s not a name for a human. I go by Nicole now.” “Nicole?” I had never heard of that name before. “Yep. Do you like how you look, clothes-wise?” I hadn’t actually looked to see what I was wearing. I was wearing a purple t-shirt, black jeans, and some Converse sneakers. I looked presentable. Like a normal person. “Yeah, I look okay.” “Good deal. You don’t have a place to stay, do you?” “Nope.” “You can crash at my place.” “Really? I don’t want to intrude-,” “Don’t worry about it. We’re friends.” “Thanks.” I’m glad we were still friends, after being apart for so long. “I’m guessing you want to see the others, huh?” “Yes, I do,” I was very eager to do just that. “Great. Pinkie frequents a nice little bar around here. A place called ‘Travis’ Bar and Grille’.” “A bar?” “Yeah. Pinkie loves her liquor, I guess.” That can’t be good. On the walk over, Rainbow Dash pulled out a small, white box. It said ‘Camel’ on it. She pulled out a small white cylinder with an orange tip. She put the orange part into her mouth, and pulled out another small, white box. This box, when opened, produced a small flame. She took this flame, and applied it to the other end of the cylinder. She put both boxes back inside of her pocket, and continued walking. She inhaled, pulled the small cylinder out of her mouth, and exhaled. Gray smoke came out of her mouth, floating up towards the black night sky. “What was that?” I asked her. “The thing you just did.” “This? Oh, it’s a cigarette. I smoke them.” “Oh. By the way, I noticed you were a bit…rough with that guy back there.” “Oh, that guy? Sick fuck pulls shit like that all the time. I do my best to keep the streets clean.” “Isn’t that why we have the police?” “Well, yeah…bur…you know…it makes me feel good about myself.” I got the strange feeling that her goals weren’t as noble as she made them sound. Up ahead, I saw a bright sign. It read, ‘Travis’ Bar and Grille’ in bright letters. “Look at that. We’re here!” said Rainbow Dash. We stepped inside. It was brightly lit, with a bright white countertop and clean tables all around. It was a nice place. The stools up against the bar were made of clean, red leather. And, on the third stool to my right, was not other than everyone’s favorite party animal, Pinkie Pie. She was wearing a pink marshmallow ski jacket, with a black jacket underneath. She had black jeans on her legs, similar to Rainbow Dash’s jeans, but without the chains. She had pink, high-top sneakers on her feet. “Travis. Another shot. Give me your best liquor here.” A man, wearing an apron, came out of the kitchen behind the counter. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough, miss?” “No. I think I haven’t had enough. I’m not the least bit drunk right now.” “Miss, you’ve fallen off the bar stool three times since you’ve come here.” “Shut up and take my money!” “Pinkie?” I called out. She turned to look at me. “Who’s asking? Wait…Twilight!” Some other patrons looked at us, probably intrigued by our strange names. Well, strange to them. “Yes, Pinkie. It’s me.” “Long time no see! Hey, Dashie. How have you been?” Pinkie asked. “I’ve been okay,” Rainbow Dash responded. “Good, good.” Pinkie took another swig of her beverage. She was slightly off-balance now. “Pinkie, are you okay?” I asked. “I… I am fine. Just a little…weird.” She looked at her watch. “Fuck, I gotta go home. It’s pretty late. See ya tomorrow, Travis.” “See you tomorrow, Pinkie.” The bartender resumed his normal work. “Pinkie, how are you able to use your real name here?” I asked her. “Rainbow Dash can’t use hers.” “Most people think it’s a childhood nickname.” “Oh. I see. You seem to drink a lot, Pinkie.” “Of course I do, silly. Everyone needs to drink.” “I meant alcohol.” “Oh. Yeah. I like to drink alcohol a lot. Makes good memories better. Of course, most of your memories are better when you find them at the bottom of a bottle,” she painfully reminisced. “Pinkie, let’s get you home, okay?” I said. “Sure. My apartment is just down the street. Rainbow Dash and I share a place.” “Really?” “Yeah,” Rainbow Dash interjected. “By the way, Pinkie, Twilight’s gonna crash with us for a bit. Get settled in.” “Okey dokey lokey!” Pinkie said. She seemed eager to have another friend with her. “So, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said, “when we get home, just take it easy, okay? I’ll get you a bed or something, and we can watch a movie or something. I say we watch Memento. You know, with Joe Pantoliano and Guy Pearce? It’s about this guy who has short-term memory loss, and he has to find his wife’s killer. It’s really good.” “We can watch it, I guess.” “Awesome!” After some more walking, we finally arrived at the apartment. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie led me up to the apartment. When we got inside, I was glad to see it was clean. I’ve always disliked messiness to some extent. Now that I’ve seen a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother, I can say that their apartment looks exactly like Ted’s. The kitchen was in the corner, and a small step led up to the large window and bedroom. It was a nice place. “Nice place, girls,” I complimented. “I could definitely stay here.” “Great,” said Rainbow Dash. “I’m glad you like it.” I have a feeling that life here will be good. Part IIIIt was cold again this morning. Rain pattered against the windows, calming my nerves. I suppose I was nervous because I had yet to hear from Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy. Perhaps Rainbow Dash and Pinkie knew where they were. “Twilight! Get up! Getupgetupgetup!” Rainbow was shouting at me in some form of chaotic chorus. I got up from my air mattress on the floor and did my morning routine (which, might I add, was quite different from my normal routine back at Ponyville). I showered, brushed my teeth, and ate. Well, almost ate. I was about to make some scrambled eggs with lots of pepper (it does make everything better, after all) when Rainbow Dash ran down the stairs and grabbed her jacket off the hook. She hurriedly put it on, along with her boots. “C’mon, Twilight! We’re gonna be late!” “Late for what?” “I was able to snag a breakfast with Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy! All six of us will be there.” “Really?” “Yeah! So hurry up!” I got dressed in something as fast as I could. I put on a purple sports jacket, some jeans, and my shoes. “Pinkie got a head start. She reserved a table,” Rainbow said. “She should be there now. Come to think of it, so are the others! Let’s go!” “I’m ready. Lead the way.” Rainbow walked down the flight of stairs to the base of the apartment complex. She turned left around a brick wall and went towards some strange device. It was almost shaped like a rectangle, but it was curved and sleek. It had a red body. A sheet of glass stuck up from about the middle of the thing, and there were four seats inside and four wheels on the bottom. “Rainbow, what is this thing?” I pondered. I had never seen anything like it. She pulled out a key from her pocket. She got in the front-left seat, and put the key in the thing. She turned the key, and two lights on the device’s front turned on. “It’s a car.” “A car? What’s a car?” “It’s something humans use to get from Point A to Point B quickly. There are tons of different kinds, and they use them, sometimes, to show superiority from time to time. Some are more expensive than others.” “Humans use inanimate objects to show dominance?” “It’s beyond me, Twilight. Anyways, get in beside me.” “Okay.” “Put on your seatbelt, too.” She motioned to a strap beside me. “Just pull it and put it into this thing here.” She gestured toward a small box with a slit and a red button on it. I slid the belt into the slit. It locked with a satisfying click. “I guess I’m ready,” I said. I was definitely nervous. I was putting my life into Dash’s hands. Not that I didn’t trust her and her judgment, but I had never been in a car before, and I was worried. Dash applied pressure to a pedal on the ground, and before I knew it, we were speeding off towards no other place than ‘Travis’ Bar and Grille’. When we got there, we could see everyone through the plate glass windows. There were three seats on each side. Each side currently had two people sitting there. Rarity was sitting next to Applejack. Fluttershy was across from Rarity, and Pinkie was across from Applejack. When Rainbow and I walked in, the group turned. Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy all lit up, their faces aglow with excitement. “Twilight, darling! However have you been?” Rarity asked. “I’ve been good, Rarity. You?” “Fine, darling. Perfect.” “Hey there, Twi! Glad to see you’re doin’ fine,” said Applejack. “Yes, Twilight. I was so sorry we had to leave without telling you. I was so worried you would be mad at us, but the princess said it was urgent, and I didn’t have a choice. Can you forgive me, Twilight?” Fluttershy was visibly worried about my response, afraid of my rejection. “Of course, Fluttershy. I understand completely. But why didn’t the princess tell me?” None of my friends knew why Celestia had kept me in the dark. But enough of that. Time to order. I was starved. I got some scrambled eggs. Rarity got a French toast, while Applejack got pancakes. Pinkie got some waffles with bacon mixed into the batter (whatever bacon is), and Fluttershy ordered a breakfast salad. Rainbow Dash got an omelet with bacon, ham, cheese, mushrooms, and green peppers. When the food came (it wasn’t a long wait) we ate and caught up. Rainbow Dash was an accountant. Fluttershy was a veterinarian with her own office, while Rarity was an aspiring fashion designer. Her designs haven’t been accepted yet, however, so she works a multitude of other jobs to support herself. She’s a waitress at three restaurants, and works other jobs to get money. Applejack is a marriage counselor, and Pinkie is a party planner. No surprise there. While we were talking, Rarity got up. “Excuse me, darlings. I must excuse myself for a moment. I’ll be right back.” She walked off towards the restroom. She seemed a bit on edge. Her voice had been shaky, and her eyes were a bit bloodshot. “I’ll go see if she’s okay,” I said, responding to the general mood of uneasiness. I walked towards the bathroom. When I got there, Rarity was leaning over the sink, with a few small capsules in her hand. She put them in her mouth and swallowed. “Rarity?” I called out. “Oh! Twilight! You scared me.” “What are you doing?” “Oh, you mean the pills? I took some Tylenol. I’ve been having horrid headaches as of late. The Tylenol is doing well to relieve them.” “I see. Well, I hope you fell better.” I also saw that her eyes weren’t as bloodshot anymore, and her voice wasn’t shaky. What kind of headache causes bloodshot eyes and a shaky voice? Part IVRarity and I were back at the table now. I took my seat next to Pinkie and resumed eating my eggs. I looked over at Fluttershy, to see how she was doing, and I noticed something about her now. She had a black eye. “Fluttershy?” I asked, “how did you get that black eye?” Everyone at the table stopped eating out of their concern for Fluttershy and looked up at her. “Oh, this? I got this when I fell down the stairs at my house. I live in the suburbs. My boyfriend, Tim, called 911 and got me to the hospital. He’s such a nice guy. I’m glad I found him,” Fluttershy explained. “Oh. I see,” I said. For some reason, I felt that she wasn’t telling the truth. At least not all of it. “It’s okay, Twilight. You don’t have to feel bad about being worried about me.” She smiled at me. After some more talking about random subjects, the waiter brought us the bill. Rarity knocked Applejack’s hand out of the way to nab it. “Darling,” she said, “I simply cannot allow you to pay.” “Are you sure? I have money. I went to the casino last night and made a bunch of money,” Applejack said. “I’ve been goin’ there a lot lately, makin’ some extra money.” “Darling, I have never been more sure of something in my life.” “Alrighty then.” “The casino?” I asked. “What’s a casino?” “A casino is a place where you make bets with your money and try to make more money,” Applejack explained. “It’s pretty addictin’, actually.” So, Applejack could be addicted to gambling. This morning keeps getting better and better. Rarity went up to the counter and paid the bill. “We must do this again, and soon,” she said. “Oh, yes.” Fluttershy first. “YesyesyesyesYES!” Pinkie next. “I’m down.” Rainbow Dash third. “Definitely.” Applejack now. “Sure.” That was me. “It seems to be settled, then, darlings. Call me when you can.” “Sure thing,” said Rainbow Dash. With plans to make plans, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy went on their way. I looked back at our table. I noticed a small, black device on the table. It was Fluttershy’s phone. “Guys, look.” Pinkie and Rainbow turned around. “It’s Fluttershy’s phone.” “Oh, shit,” Rainbow commented. “We had better get it back to her. But I don’t know where she lives.” “Neither do I,” Pinkie added. “We could use WhitePages, though.” “Yeah, sounds good,” said Rainbow Dash. “WhitePages would probably know where Fluttershy lives. That is its job, right?” Without another word, Dash and I got into Dash’s red car, while Pinkie went over to hers. It was a pink car, almost identical to Dash’s, but slightly bulkier. Pinkie started her car. “Let’s go, girls.” Dash started the car. I buckled my seatbelt (they still confound me) and, without a word of warning, we were off. When we got back to the apartment, Dash ran over to the computer that was located against the wall near the door. She went to look for Fluttershy’s address. Meanwhile, Pinkie went over to the fridge and pulled out a brown bottle. It said ‘Budweiser’ on its side. It was beer, I think. I had seen an advertisement for it on the way home on a large billboard. I knew beer had alcohol in it, too. So, her we were, back from breakfast, and Pinkie was already getting drunk. She must’ve had at least four by the time Rainbow Dash had called us. “I have the address and directions. Let’s roll.” We followed Dash downstairs to her car. Pinkie started to move towards her own car, but Dash stopped her. “Pinkie? I don’t think you should drive.” “Oh. Okay,” Pinkie complied. I was surprised at her willingness to follow orders. Pinkie usually danced to the beat of her own drum. Pinkie got into the back seat and buckled her seatbelt. She seemed a but disoriented. She was definitely drunk. Dash started the car. “We’re going to the suburbs. A place called Redwood Shores.” “Lead the way,” I responded. Dash drove, and before we knew it, we were in front of Fluttershy’s house. The tree of us got out of the car and walked towards the front door. When we reached the entrance, we could hear muffled shouts and crying. I couldn’t make out much, but I could try. “What the fuck, you bitch!” That was a male voice. It was an average man’s voice, not deep, but not high-pitched, either. “I’m sorry, Tim! I really am.” That was Fluttershy. “Sorry doesn’t cut it, you stupid bitch!” Rainbow Dash knocked on the door. No one came. “I have half a mind to beat you to a pulp right now, you bitch!” The male voice must have been Tim, Fluttershy’s nice boyfriend. “I’m sorry, Tim! Please, you have to forgive me.” Dash knocked harder this time. Still nothing. We could hear a loud smack through the door. “That’s it! I’m coming in!” Rainbow Dash shouted. She placed both hands on the sides of the door, and kicked as hard as she could. The door burst open. When we looked inside, we could see Fluttershy on the floor, with a bloody nose. Tim was standing over her, blood on the back of his hand. Rainbow Dash saw the scene, and must have set her off. “Oh, you SON OF A FUCKING WHORE!” She walked towards him. “Who the fuck are you, her friends?” Tim asked, sneering. Rainbow Dash ignored him and kicked him in his left knee. There was an audible crunch as his bone slightly broke. “AGH! You fucking bitch!” he shouted up at Rainbow Dash. “You broke my knee! My fucking knee!” She looked into his eyes. “Buddy, I plan on breaking a lot more than your knees. Get the fuck up.” He stood up. She kicked his knee again. “Agh! Fuck!” “Get up.” “No.” Dash pulled out her switchblade. She flipped the blade out and stuck it in his mouth. “Have you ever seen a movie called The Dark Knight, Tim? Well, there’s one part where the Joker does this to a mobster, and he tells him the story of how he got his scars. And if you don’t shut your fucking mouth, I will give you a matching set of scars you can tell your bastard children all about. Got it, fuckhead?” He nodded quickly, terrified. She pulled him up and threw him on the countertop. “I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson. Pinkie, hold this guy’s other arm down.” Pinkie, too drunk to think for herself, happily complied. Rainbow Dash took her switchblade and plunged it into Tim’s left arm. Blood spurted out of the wound, getting on Dash’s knife and hand, Tim’s arm, and the countertop. “AGH! Please stop! Please!” He was begging now. “No, I think I’ll give you a MATCHING FUCKING SET!” She took the knife out of Tim’s left arm and drove it into his right, having a similar effect as before. “Agh! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! Please stop!” Tim was wailing. “Why? You’ll just beat Fluttershy again!” “No, I won’t! Please! I’m begging you!” Dash contemplated this. She removed the knife from his arm, but not before taking a porcelain plate and smashing it over his head. Small cuts appeared all over Tim’s face, bleeding. “Come on, girls,” Rainbow Dash said. “Nothing to see here except for a sad, sick fuck who gets off on beating helpless people.” We all left the house. I looked over my shoulder, looking back inside. Blood was on the counter. Tim was sitting against the wall, wheezing. I couldn’t figure out why Tim had gone off on Fluttershy like that. Then I saw the reason. On the floor was a broken porcelain plate. Part VI woke up. It was dark outside. It didn’t feel like morning, so I checked the digital clock next to my mattress. It read 3:24 AM. It was the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep. Maybe it had something to do with yesterday. After Rainbow Dash had beaten up Tim, we took Fluttershy back to our place. Dash had found her a mattress to sleep on, along with some blankets. Pinkie was still drunk, and was talking to herself now. She was blindly reminiscing about our days in Equestria. About how those were the good old days. She was right. This place, the human world, had so many bad things about it. Violence, corruption, self-indulgence…it was a rotten meal, and humans the maggots feeding off of it, wildly and without thinking twice. But maybe I’m wrong. Look at Travis, the bartender. He showed concern for Pinkie when she was getting drunk on that one night we found her. He cares about people. Perhaps there are small pockets of nice scattered around the world. Anyways, I was awake, and I wasn’t about to try to fall back asleep. I wasn’t tired. I fumbled in the darkness, looking for a light switch or something to help me see. I found nothing, but by the time I had given up, my eyes had adjusted to the dark. I heard something. There were clinks and clanks coming from the kitchen. Someone was trying to steal from us? Why? I headed down into the kitchen. There was a dark silhouette standing in front of the open fridge. Then, the fridge closed. The figure was holding a bottle. It opened the bottle, and took a few large gulps of its beverage. Then, the figure walked towards the couch. It sat down on the brown faux-leather couch. The intruder then picked up the remote and turned on the TV. How I Met Your Mother was on. Apparently, something funny happened on the show (I don’t always get its humor) and the figure giggled. It was an unmistakable giggle. It was Pinkie’s giggle. “Pinkie Pie?” I called out. Pinkie turned around. “Oh, hey, Twilight. Why are you up so early?” “I couldn’t sleep. Why are you up so early?” She held up her bottle. “I was thirsty.” “So you had some beer? Are you serious?” “Twilight, I was thirsty! What do you want me to drink?” “I don’t know, maybe water?” “Water’s boring. Beer is exciting.” “Beer made you an alcoholic.” “I’m not a fucking alcoholic! What the fuck would make you think I’m an alcoholic?” “I don’t know! Maybe it’s because every time you have the chance, you have a beer! Maybe it’s because you’re up at 3:30 in the morning having a beer! Maybe it’s because you’re such a shallow idiot, you can’t understand what’s wrong with you!” I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth. Pinkie started to cry. “Fuck you, Twilight. Fuck you.” “Pinkie, I didn’t mean to-“ “No, you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. But that doesn’t mean all is forgiven! You’re such a high and mighty fucking prick, you don’t understand that it’s not as easy as just stopping! I can drink whatever the fuck I want to drink, okay? You’re not my fucking mother, okay? I don’t need you! I don’t need you as my friend! As far as I’m concerned, you can go jump off of a fucking bridge. Fuck you, Twilight! Fuck you to hell and back!” She stormed out of the apartment, bottle in hand, tears running down her cheeks and soiling the floor with their sad moisture. She was gone now. Rainbow Dash ran out of the bedroom. “What was that all about?” “I…I messed up, Dash. Pinkie hates me now, and you’ll probably end up hating me too. I bet everyone’ll hate me.” Fluttershy came up behind be and put an arm on my shoulder. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Twilight. It’s just a rough patch. It’ll all be okay.” For some reason, I had a feeling that it wasn’t just a rough patch. Part VIIt wasn’t too late. It couldn’t be. I ran down the apartment stairs as fast as I could. When I reached the bottom, I saw Pinkie. She was walking towards her car. “Pinkie!” I called out to her. She turned around. “What the fuck do you want, huh? What do you want from me? Why do you still want to be my friend? Huh? Come on, give me a fucking answer!” “I’m sorry, Pinkie. It’s just this place is really getting to me. Please, don’t go.” “This place got to me too! Why the fuck do you think I like to drink?” “Pinkie, please! You have to understand! I don’t get this place! I’ve never been here before! Please, give me a chance! Please!” I was crying now, but I hardly noticed. She looked at me, her blue eyes piercing my soul. “Twilight, I…” Tears were streaming down her face. “I…I…you’re right. I guess I’m just scared, Twilight. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, and I just…why didn’t the princess tell you about this thing?” Why didn’t the Princess tell me about this thing? “I don’t know, Pinkie. I don’t know. Are you okay, Pinkie?” She nodded. “Yeah. I think I’m okay.” I smiled at her. “Come on inside. It’s dark and cold out here.” “Okay.” We walked towards the door. Rainbow Dash held open the door for us as we walked inside. The cigarette she had apparently started smoking was glowing, dropping hot red embers on the cracked ground of the parking garage. We reached the apartment. Pinkie headed straight for her room. “I gotta get some damn sleep. See you in the morning.” “Goodnight, Pinkie,” we all said. It was a bit strange, all of us saying the same thing. Fluttershy went towards the couch. That reminds me, I never explained what had happened with Fluttershy after we saved her from Tim. We had taken her back to the apartment, and Rainbow Dash had arranged for her to stay with us for a while until we found her somewhere better to stay. Rainbow Dash had found her another mattress and blanket, and she seemed to be enjoying the company of her friends for the time being. “Twilight? Rainbow Dash?” she called. “Yeah, Fluttershy?” Dash responded. “I…I think I’m going to move back in with Tim tomorrow. Well, later today, I guess.” “WHAT?” Rainbow Dash shouted. “That motherfucker beat you like a dog, and you’re just going to go back to him and take it? Fluttershy, it’s dangerous.” “Rainbow Dash, I can make it work. It’s nothing a little kindness can’t fix. Just let me try, okay?” “Fluttershy, I don’t want you to get hurt. I just…god damn it, why do things have to be so fucking hard?” Fluttershy looked hard a Rainbow Dash. “Just let me try, okay?” Rainbow Dash sighed. “Fine. But if that sick fuck so much as lays a finger on you, you call me. Got it?” Fluttershy nodded in response. “Thank you so much for understanding, Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy went back to her mattress, a wide smile on her face. “Twilight?” Rainbow Dash looked at me. “Did I just… did I just give my friend up to a sick fuck who beats her up for fun?” I looked at her. “Dash, Fluttershy has a knack for calming down violent souls. Remember that one time the Princess asked Fluttershy to rehabilitate Discord?” “Yeah. I guess you’re right.” She got up and started to walk towards her bed. “Goodnight, Twilight. Sleep well. We’re going to see Rarity and Applejack again. All six of us.” That was the best news I had heard all day. “Alright, then,” I said. “Good night, Rainbow Dash.” “Night, Twilight.” That night, I had a nightmare. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie were all dead. They were lying on the floor, blood all over the floor and surrounding areas. There was a small note on the floor next to their cold, dead, lifeless bodies. It read, “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK WITH HIGHER POWERS THAN YOURSELF. LET THIS BE A LESSON FOR YOU.” It was written in blood. But this was the worst part about the whole thing. On the bottom right hand corner of the note was the Royal Seal. Part VIII woke up. My clock read 8:13 AM. A normal time to wake up. I arose from bed and shambled down to the kitchen. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy were already up, talking about something in the living room. I decided not to interrupt their conversation, and instead opted to take a shower, brush my teeth, and get dressed. I had never taken the time to look at myself in the mirror since I had gotten here. I looked more or less exactly the same as I had when I was in Equestria, aside from a few things. For starters, I no longer had a muzzle, and my nose protruded from a small triangle on my face. It was almost impossible to tell the difference, however. Now that I think about it, the same went for the rest of my friends. They all look pretty much the same. Interesting. Anyways, I had gotten dressed. I sauntered into the living room casually, now rejuvenated from my shower earlier. “Morning, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash greeted. “I see you’re ready to go out into the world.” “I guess so. You said yesterday that we were going to see Applejack and Rarity?” “Yeah, but not until lunch time. Have some breakfast. I made toast.” “Thanks.” “No problem. By the way, we still haven’t watched Memento. How’s about we watch it later tonight? In fact, we could probably invite Rarity and AJ over for it, too. Maybe order a pizza or something.” “That’d be great. We have a lot of catching up to do. Speaking of catching up…” Dash caught the message. She motioned for me to take a seat on the green chair on the opposite side of the coffee table she was sitting at. I gladly took my seat. It was soft. It looked like it was made out of some form of carpet or tarp, but it was actually quite comfortable. We had caught up on what had happened in the years since they had left Equestria. There was too much to transcribe here, but it was all generally the same. Some Good Samaritan had given them a hand somewhere while they learned the ins and outs of human life. Normal fare. They had gotten jobs and homes. They made new lives for themselves all while keeping correspondence with her. They were able to jumpstart a makeshift portal in Rainbow’s apartment using some cables and other things. I have no idea what they were talking about, though. I’ve never heard of jumper cables or car batteries. “Oh shit!” Dash said to no one in particular. “We’re gonna be late!” Pinkie jumped to her feet faster than you can say hyperactive. “Come on, girls! We’re gonna be late! Let’s go!” She shot towards the door. We all got up and started down towards the car. “Rainbow Dash?” I beckoned. “I…need to talk to you.” She looked back at me. “What’s up?” “Last night I…had a nightmare.” “Don’t worry about those. They aren’t real, you know.” “This one was bad. You guys were in it.” “Really?” “Yeah. You were all…dead. There was a note on the floor, and it was written in your blood, and it said…um…it said…it said THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK WITH HIGHER POWERS THAN YOURSELF. LET THIS BE A LESSON FOR YOU. And on the bottom right hand corner of it was the Royal Seal.” “The Royal Seal? As in, Princess Celestia Royal Seal?” “Yes.” “Huh.” She took out her small package of cigarettes. It was full last time I had seen it, and now it was almost empty. She took out the last one in there, stuck it in her mouth, and lit it. She took a few puffs of it. The smoke curled from her lips and floated up towards the ceiling. “Fuck,” she said. “Last one. I’ll buy some more later.” I’ll save you the whole part about us getting in the car and driving somewhere. You know what that’s like. Anyways, this time, we were going to a place called Penn Station. It wasn’t half bad. It was fast, though, so we didn’t have much time to talk. We, being the six of us. Anyways, after lunch, Rarity nudged me. “Darling, would you like to come with me, and perhaps catch up on everything? I need to stop at the pharmacy to pick up some things.” “Sure.” “Fantastic!” She got Rainbow Dash’s attention. “Rainbow Dash, is it okay if I take Twilight for a bit? I can bring her back.” “Sure. You don’t have to ask my permission. I’m just glad you told me about it, or I’d have thought Twi was missing.” “Thank you.” “No prob.” Rarity turned back to me. “Well, we’ve paid, so we can be off.” “Okay.” I turned back to the rest of the girls. “See you all later.” Fluttershy piped up. “Where are you going?” “Rarity and I are gonna hang out.” “Oh. Okay. Um, have fun.” I got up from my seat and followed Rarity out of the restaurant. “The pharmacy and my house are only a few blocks away. We can walk and talk. So, Twilight, darling, how have you been? It’s been so long!” I gave her the full report about my stay here in the human world. I left out the nightmare, though. Something told me I shouldn’t have spoiled the visit. We reached the pharmacy. It was a small white building with a sliding door as the entrance. When we walked towards the door, it opened itself. The sudden movement of the door startled me, and Rarity picked up on it. “It’s not magic, darling. It has a camera, and when it sees you, it opens up the door for you.” “Oh.” We walked inside. Rarity was quick about shopping, it seemed. She made a beeline for an aisle near the back of the building. She picked up a white bottle. It said, “Tylenol” on the white and red label. In smaller, black letters, it read “acetaminophen” under the larger letters. She walked up to the counter and pulled out a small blue card that read “VISA” in yellow lettering. There was a string of numbers on the card. Rarity placed the bottle on the counter, and the worker picked it up. I noticed a pattern of white and black stripes on the bottom of the bottle. The worker held the monochromatic pattern under a red laser until a machine made a beeping noise. The worker then told Rarity the cost of her purchase, which was around ten dollars. I guess dollars are the currency here. Anyways, Rarity swiped the card through a small black device on the counter and signed something on it. The worker gave her the receipt and we were on our way. “What was that?” I wondered aloud. “That’s how a lot of people buy things in the human world. See, that black and white pattern? Did you see it? Anyways, that thing tells the machine what it is I’m buying. The machine then adds all the numbers up and I swipe that card I had in the machine. Then, I sign my name and I’ve paid.” “Oh. Rarity?” “Yes, darling?” “What’s Tylenol?” “Oh, it’s a painkiller.” “I see. We have painkillers in Equestria.” “Yes, we do. They have proven useful ore than once, I assure you.” “Rarity?” “Yes?” “I saw you with a bottle of those things about two days ago, and it was almost full. How did you go through all of those in just a few days?” Rarity fell silent. After a while, she spoke. “Well, I… I used them.” ‘That many?” “I suppose.” All those in two days? Part VIIIOkay. So I’ve had a lot of time to practice my human skills from Celestia assigning me a year here. I’ll get to that later. Anyways, I can now (hopefully) describe things better, and I now have knowledge of things that people seem to take for granted, like credit cards and cars and things. So, yeah. See? I’m using humanisms. Kinda. Anyways, where was I? Oh, right, Rarity having a problem. She certainly seems to like painkillers. “Twilight, darling?” Rarity called for me from the main room of her apartment. After the pharmacy, we had headed to Rarity’s small apartment near the pharmacy. Yes, she lives near the pharmacy. This keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it? “What’s up?” “Applejack called. She wants to meet with you, and…well, talk, I suppose.” “Uh, cool.” “Cool? You’re beginning to sound like Rainbow Dash now.” “Well, I am living in her apartment.” She sighed. “I suppose that’s true. Has she shown you any movies yet?” “No. Why?” “Well, ever since we came here, she’s really gotten into the movies they have here. Movies are different here than in Equestria. There are tons of different actors, actresses, genres, directors…much, much more than in Equestria. And the quality! Oh, darling, some of the movies I’ve seen here just seem so real!” “That’s…that’s great, I guess.” “Oh. Right. Applejack. She’ll come and pick you up in…” Just then, there was a knock at the front door. “Now, apparently. I’ll get it.” Rarity walked towards the door and turned the handle. “Howdy, Rarity. How are ya?” “I’m fine. How are you?” “Eh, I’m okay. Plannin’ on goin’ down to the casino. Wanna come?” “No thank you, darling. I’ve never really taken to gambling like you have.” Oh, shit. (Did I use that right? I’m still learning.) “Well, to each their own, I guess. Twi here?” “Yes, she is. Well, don’t just stand there! Come in!” Applejack sauntered into the room, her ever-present Stetson resting atop her blonde hair. She had on a red plaid shirt that was rolled up at the elbow over a plain white t-shirt. She was wearing jeans adorned with golden stitching in curled designs near the pockets. On her feet were cowboy boots. “Howdy, Twi!” She came over to me and gave me a hug. “Hey, AJ.” “How ya been holdin’ up?” “I’ve been doing well. How about you?” “I can’t complain. Well, I didn’t come here to talk. You wanna go somewhere?” “Uh, sure. You said something about a casino?” “Yeah, I was plannin’ on goin’ there. Wanna come with me?” “Sure, why not?” We arrived at a place called the Golden Gate Casino. A large neon sign informed me that it was this place’s grand opening, and that all alcoholic beverages were half off. Good thing Pinkie wasn’t here. Applejack and I walked into the light-adorned entrance. Inside, it was a clusterfuck (I think so, anyways) of men in expensive suits, women in expensive dresses, and waiters and waitresses carrying food and drink around. Applejack looked to her lefy. “Hey, Twi, c’mere and look at this.” “What?” She pointed to an elliptical green table. At first, I had no idea what it was. Then it hit me. A poker table. “What, you like to gamble, AJ?” I asked her. “Hell yeah. I love to gamble!” Oh boy. Five hours of unbearable tension and annoying waiters later, Applejack had blown five hundred dollars trying to win. “AJ! Do you have any idea what you just did!?” I scolded her as we walked out. “Uh…I lost?” She meekly answered, disappointment evident on her face. “You lost? You lost five. Hundred. Dollars!” “So what? You win some, you lose some.” “So what!? SO WHAT!? YOU LOSE FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS, AND YOUR BEST ANSWER IS SO WHAT!? WHAT DO-“ She grabbed me by the collar and pulled me close to her face, which was scrunched up in determination. “Now listen here, Twi, and listen close. I lost today. I get that. Gambling is what I do. I come and go to casinos just about every night, and I have learned that sometimes, you win and sometimes, you lose. Tonight was just one of those nights that I lost. Got it?” My face fell. “Yes. I got it.” She let go of me. She looked down and kicked the ground. “I’m…I’m sorry. It’s just…you’ve been gone for so long, and it’s just…I missed you, Twi. I missed you so much.” She was crying, and her tears were moistening my shoulder. “It’s alright, Applejack. Why don’t we go back to Dash’s place? You could use some rest with a few friends.” I smiled at her. “Yeah, all right. Sounds good.” We drove off. “Yo, Twilight! Oh, hey, AJ! What’s up?” Rainbow Dash greeted us as we walked into the apartment. “Not much. How’s it been with you, Dash?” Applejack returned. “Eh, I’ve been doin’ okay. You guys wanna watch a movie?” “What movie?” I asked. “Memento! We should totally watch Memento. Hey! Why don’t we invite the other girls over?” I liked this idea. All my friends in one place? Well, as much as I hate to take advantage of the situation, it’d give me time to hold an intervention. I mean, Rainbow Dash is violent, Pinkie’s an alcoholic, AJ is a problem gambler, Rarity loves her painkillers, and Fluttershy gets the shit beaten out of her just about every day. The intervention, little did I know it then, almost destroyed our friendship. Part XHey, it’s me, Twilight Sparkle. This part, I‘m going to transcribe what the girls said from some audio logs that I asked the girls to record. Some parts have been edited to flow better, but it’s more or less the same. With that said, enjoy. What’s up? Rainbow Dash here. Twilight decided that we should talk about what happened that one night after that intervention thingy, so I guess I’ll make the egghead happy. So, I’ll start off where Twi left off when everyone left my apartment. I had bought a gun a while back. You know, for home defense or some shit like that? By the way, don’t let Twilight fool you with the ‘humanisms’ bullshit. Profanity does exist in Equestria, and we use it. Apparently, Twilight doesn’t. Anyways, I had bought a gun. I was licensed to have one and everything. I took it from its safe in my bedroom, loaded it, turned the safety off, and stuck it in my mouth. The barrel prodded the roof. My finger rested over the trigger. Come on, Rainbow, I thought to myself. Stop being a pussy and do it. You have no friends anymore. Nothing to live for. Just do it. But, for some reason, I just couldn’t. I was crying now. My tears were getting all over the carpet. You fucked up, Dash, I thought. Twilight was right. You’re violent. Hell, you’ve almost killed two people since Twi got here, and that was about a week ago. How many before then? You even bought a gun, and you’re about to blow your brains out with it. You fucked up, bigtime. Yeah, I fucked up. But, hell, I’m Loyalty, and I was gonna make this right if it killed me. I needed to find Twilight. Howdy. It’s Applejack takin’ over the audio logs for a bit, ‘cause Twi thought it’d be a good idea to talk about it. I imagine that I’m not the only one that’s gonna do this, but I’m digressin’ or whatever Rarity’d probably say. Anyways, it was that night when we’d all gotten angry at each other, I had gone back to the casino with my lucky die in my pocket. Yes, I had lucky die. I had one a five thousand dollar jackpot with those die. Anyways, I wasn’t so lucky that night. For the second time. This time, I was able to make about a thousand bucks off the slot machines, but I lost it all when I went to the blackjack tables. Damn blackjack tables. Anyways, I walked out of the casino, havin’ lost ‘bout another five hundred. There was a pier nearby, so I decided to walk over there to, y’know, clear my mind or somethin’. I sat down on the edge and took out my lucky die. They were red and kinda see-through, y’know, like, translucent or whatever Twi’d say? I was there, lookin’ at ‘em, and I thought, Why am I doin’ this? Gamblin’? I keep…losing money. Was…was Rarity right? Am I…am I addicted? Hell, I’m Honesty, I might as well tell the truth. I am addicted, ain’t I? I guess…I guess I just…am I…in denial? I gotta stop avoiding it…I…I have a problem. And this is the last time I will let this happen, y’hear? I stood up and threw the die into the ocean, and they landed in the water with a satisfyin’ thunk. I knew what I had to do next. I had to find Twilight. Hiya. It’s me, Pinkie Pie, and I…I’m not feeling too good about any of this, so forgive me if I don’t sound…y’know, upbeat or whatever. So, after the fallout at the apartment, I had gone to a bar for a drink. One turned into two, and two turned into four, and four turned into seven. I was completely sloshed. A few minutes later, I found myself under an overpass. While I was throwing up, I started to cry. Why? Well, maybe it had to do with the fact that I might have just ruined my closest friendships. But hey, no biggie, right? Nothing a little fucking alcohol can’t fix? Yeah, right. Alcohol ruined everything, and, after that night, it wasn’t too hard to figure out that I might have had a problem. The first time I had alcohol in Earth, it was at a party the first week since we had arrived. I had gotten drunk, and there was this one guy, and he was kinda cute, and we…oh, hell, we fucked. He was a bit of a disappointment, but hey. I had fun with alcohol, and I guess…I guess I didn’t want the fun to stop. So I kept drinking and drinking and drinking. And look at where it got me. Crying and throwing up under an overpass. Great work, Pinkie Pie. What a great friend you are. That night, I made a vow. I was gonna find Twilight and make this right. Hello, it is I, Rarity, here to recount my experience with substance addiction. It was not a pleasant one, let me tell you. Anyways, Twilight wants me to talk about that night when we all hated each other for a bit. What a time that was. After I had stormed off in my rather childish display, I went home. I walked into my bathroom, opened the cabinet, and got out my painkillers. I was about to pop two into my mouth when I realized that Twilight was right. I was addicted. How could I let this happen to me? I only had headaches! I suppose maybe the headaches were psychosomatic? An excuse my mind made to take more? I don’t know. But that night, I did know one thing. I had to fix the problem, no matter the cost! I took my painkillers and emptied them into my toilet, and flushed. ANd promptly washed my hands vigorously. I knew one more thing after I got rid of my painkillers. I had to find Twilight. Oh. Um…hi…I’m Fluttershy, and I’m going to talk about what happened later that night, I guess… I had gone home to Tim. When I got in, he was waiting for me. He grabbed me by the neck and pushed me against the wall. “Where were you?” “I was out with my friends, but we…had a little fight…” “Oh really? Why didn’t I hear about it, huh? Your friends too good for me to know about?” “Well, I…um, thought it wasn’t very important…” I was really afraid, and I started to cry. “Stop crying, you bitch.” He slapped me, which made it worse. “I SAID STOP FUCKING CRYING!” He slapped me harder. He did it again, and again, and again. I couldn’t feel the right side of my face anymore. I was so scared. “Listen to me. Next time you do anything, I will hear about it. And one more thing. When that one bitch who stabbed me-“ “Nicole?” “You know her fucking name?” “She’s my friend…” “I bet she’s one of the ones you saw tonight, huh?” “Um…yes…” “Fucking great! Anyways, the bitch called you Fluttershy. What the hell does that mean?” “It’s an…um…childhood nickname…” “I WONDER WHY!” He pushed me down to the ground and kicked me in the stomach. It hurt. “Tim, why do you keep hurting me like this? Don’t you love me?” He laughed. “Love you? LOVE YOU?” He laughed again. “When we first met, at that restaurant, I approached you because I thought you’d be an easy target.” “Target? For what?” “For sex, you dumb fuck! And you were! You gave it up pretty easily! You’re a fucking whore, you know that? A FUCKING WHORE! I decided to keep you around for more sex. So, no, I don’t love you. You are my toy, bitch! Okay?” I nodded quickly. “Get up, toy. We’re gonna go play.” He picked me up, carried me into the bedroom, threw me onto the bed, and we…we…*sniff* I’m so sorry for crying, it’s just…*sniff* we had sex. But it didn’t feel very good. I moaned so he thought that I was enjoying it, but…I thought he loved me. And then, I realized something else. I realized I didn’t love him. In fact, I hated him with every fiber of my being. I should’ve let Rainbow Dash finish the job! Oh, my…did I just say that out loud? I’m so sorry! I’m just kind of angry right now… After he was satisfied, we went to bed. While he was sleeping, I figured out that Rainbow Dash and Rarity were right, that I wasn’t safe with Tim. My face and stomach still hurt. So I got up, got dressed, and set out for Twilight. But not before I called the local police and told them about what Tim did to me. The officer on the other end of the line was very nice. His name was Nathan. He told me to stay put and he would be there right away. Tim was woken up by the sirens. He slapped me and asked me what the noise was. When Nathan kicked down the door when Tim didn’t open it, he found Tim standing over me, about to slap me. He arrested Tim. Nathan was actually…kind of…really…cute? I…I made the first move. I asked him if he maybe wanted to get some dinner somewhere the next day, and he said yes. It turns out he’s really sweet, and he loves animals, just like me. But, about a few hours before that dinner, I had found Twilight. Part XI“Twilight? You awake?” I felt a warm hand push my cheek. It woke me up. “Twilight? You okay?” The hand pushed me again. I recognized the voice. It was Rainbow Dash. “Twilight, are you okay-“ I groaned loudly. “What do you want?” “Well, I…I wanted to say sorry. For what I said. You were right.” Before I could react, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. I returned the hug and smiled. “It’s okay. I forgive you.” I felt moisture on my shoulder. “Are you…crying?” “No! I’m just…um…oh, fuck it, yes I’m crying! I could have lost you!” “But you didn’t, did you?” “No. So, we’re cool?” “Definitely. Just then, another pair of arms wrapped around me. “Hiya, Twilight! Did you know how worried I was? I mean, what with you and I both sleeping under the same overpass, and there’s no way it’s as comfy as sleeping in a bed! Sleeping in a bed is way comfier! That reminds me, who made beds? Who decided that sleeping on a rock wasn’t comfy enough? Because that person is really, really, really smart! And if they’re smart, I bet they were a scientist! And if they were a scientist, I bet they-“ I hugged Pinkie Pie. “I’m glad to see you too, Pinkie.” “Twilight?” she asked. “Yeah?” “I’m sorry. For what I did last night.” “It’s okay, Pinkie.” And then Pinkie started to cry, too. I saw Fluttershy walking towards us. “Oh…um…am I…interrupting something?” “Not at all, Fluttershy.” “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry…” “For what?” “For not listening to you guys about Tim. I’ll tell you about it some other time.” She came towards me and hugged me. “I’m sorry for leaving like that.” “It’s okay.” “Well, howdy, Twi! Hope I didn’t miss out on any of the fun?” Applejack. “Of course not, Applejack.” “Twi? I’m sorry ‘bout all that last night. I didn’t mean to mess up so bad.” “It’s fine, Applejack.” Walking the same steps as her friends before her, Applejack hugged me and started crying. And, finally, to round us off, came Rarity. “Hello, darlings. I’m…I’m terribly sorry for what happened last night. I was not thinking straight.” Rainbow Dash piped up. “Don’t sweat it. Wasn’t your fault.” “Oh, but it was.” I took over for Rainbow. “No, it wasn’t.” Rarity gave me a hug. We seem to be following a convention here. Something was still nagging at me. “How did you guys find me?” Pinkie answered my question. “Easy! I fell asleep under this here overpass, too! And when I woke up, all I had to do was look over and I saw you there! But you were asleep, so I sent a text to the girls when you were awake! But then I fell asleep, but I just woke up!” Huh. “I see.” That’s about it. We all made up. Oh, and remember when I said I had spent more time in the human world? Well, Princess Celestia had sent me a letter, instructing me to do more research on the human world with my friends! So we did. We went to parties and restaurants and all sorts of places. We sent our experiences to the Princess. Sure, this place has a ton of vices, like alcoholism, smoking, and abuse, but there’s also lots of good here, like with Travis, who we got to know some more. He’s a pretty nice guy, in short. And Nathan, Fluttershy’s new boyfriend. He’s not a huge prick, like Tim was. Speaking of which, I wonder what happened to him… But, I digress. Today, we leave back for Equestria. Maybe I’ll continue this log when I get there. Until then, this is Twilight Sparkle, signing off. Fuck me. I was so stupid to trust her! I should have known! She even told me Equestria was weak without the Elements before! How could I be so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid! Maybe I should slow down a bit, huh? In short, we were all lied to. When we got back through that makeshift portal, we found Equestria…taken over. Not by changelings, or Sombra, or Discord. It had been taken over by Princess Celestia. Or, as she liked to be called, Lord Celestia. Her intimidating likeness was all over posters with the word ‘OBEY’ written in large block letters under it. It was straight out of George Horsewell’s 1984. “Twilight Sparkle and company. Just the ponies I wanted to see.” I looked straight at her, betrayed. “What the hell have you done to Equestria?” She looked calm. “I’ve made it better, don’t you see?” “Better!? How!?” “Well, for starters, no more violence. Everyone agrees. There is peace, and there is order.” “There’s no free will! Or self-expression!” “Where there is free will, there is thought. Where there is thought, there is doubt. Where there is doubt, there is unrest. Where there is unrest, there is chaos.” “But…but…” “Are you really this stupid, Twilight? You were my best student! I didn’t realize you were a fool!” “Wha…” “Did I stutter?” I was taken aback by the Princess’ behavior. How could she just…do this to everypony? She wasn’t going to get away with this. “You’ll never dispel Equestria’s freedom! We’ll stop you!” “Ha. You can stop me from an enchanted prison cell?” “What?” Before I could respond, she picked me up with her aura. It enveloped me. She turned to the others. “You five. Leave, before I kill you.” Rainbow Dash flew a few feet off the ground. “We’ll never let you do that to Twilight!” Rarity pulled her down. “Rainbow Dash, we need to go now. We need to find a way to rescue Twilight later. Going in headfirst is a bad plan.” “But…” She sighed. “I guess you’re right. We’ll be back for you, Twilight! Okay?” My friends ran off to live another day. Celestia turned to me. “So, where were we? Oh, right, prison cell. Off you go.” Before I could fight back, I was in a prison cell in the Canterlot dungeons. I could tell by the style of the stones that were my walls. The floor was padded with hay, and cold, metal bars let me look out into the hallway, where there were other cells. But that’s not all. Remember my nightmare? There was the same image, painted, on the floor of my cell. Where was I? Oh, right. Fuck me. Part IX“Girls, before we start, we need to talk.” I stood in the center of the room and looked each one of them in the eye. “It has come to my attention that there are some issues that need to be brought up here.” “Issues? Like what, darling?” asked Rarity. “Well, I’ll start with you. Rarity, remember earlier today, when we went to buy you some painkillers?” “Well, of course.” “How many are left in that bottle?” “Well…” she looked around the room, at each of her friends’ concerned looks. She sighed. “…about half.” “You went through half of that huge bottle in a few hours, Rarity! I hate to say it, but…” The words fought to come out of my mouth. “…you’re addicted.” “I am NOT addicted to anything! How dare you insinuate that I, of all people, are addicted to painkillers!” “Rarity, you went through half of that bottle in a few hours!” “I had many headaches!” Applejack piped in. “Rarity, addiction is a serious problem.” “You’re one to talk, Applejack!” Rarity burst out. “Excuse me?” “You go to a casino somewhere every single day! Twilight, did Applejack take you to a casino?” “Yes…Rarity, why don’t you just calm down and we can…” “How much money did Applejack lose today?” “Well…” “I’m waiting!” “…She lost five hundred dollars.” “FIVE HUNDRED! Applejack, you should be ashamed of yourself!” Applejack got back in to the conversation. “Me? Ashamed? Sorry I lost, Princess, but some of us gotta eat food, not drugs!” Rarity looked Applejack straight in the eye. “Fuck. You.” Pinkie, obviously drunk, jumped in. “Rarity, suck *hic* language!” she giggled to herself. “Pinkie, get your head out of the bottle and try to be sober for once!” She picked up Pinkie’s bottle and tossed it into the trash. “Ooh, stealing someone’s drink. I’ll have to write that one down so I can remember it next time I want to be a fucking prick, Rarity. Thanks,” Pinkie said through clenched teeth. “Excuse me?” “Get your head out of your ass, it’s not one of your fancy hats!” Dash burst. “Rarity, you’re completely blind to everyone else’s problems here!” “Oh, says Little Miss Perfect!” Rarity spat. “I heard about what you did to Tim. You could have killed him!” “It would’ve been an improvement to his character, I think.” “Ooh, you can use the word ‘character’! You’re not as dumb as I thought you were!” “Excuse me?” “You heard me!” Everyone stopped at the sound of sniffling. Fluttershy had curled herself up on the couch, crying. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. “I wanna go home. I wanna go home to Tim. He’ll know what to do.” “Fluttershy, why do you want to go to him? He beats you up, damnit!” Rarity spoke up again. “I agree. Why would you ever want to go home to-“ “SHUT UP!” Fluttershy suddenly shouted. “EVERYONE SHUT UP! I LOVE TIM, AND HE LOVES ME BACK! HE JUST SHOWS IT DIFFERENTLY!” She got up and ran out of the room, crying. Everyone sat in stunned silence, which Pinkie broke after a minute or two. “Good fucking job. I need a drink.” She left the apartment. “I’m leavin’,” said Applejack, who did exactly as she said. “So am I,” scoffed Rarity, also being true to her word. Rainbow and I stood in silence for a moment. “Twilight?” Dash finally asked. “Yes?” I asked, not being able to hold my tears back any longer. “Get the fuck out of my apartment.” “But where am I supposed to-“ “I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!” I ran out of the apartment and into the street. It started to rain. It was a cold, hard, heavy rain, and it mixed with my tears. I spotted an overpass, ran to it, and cried myself to sleep. THE SEQUEL!So, ladies and gentlemen, I know this is late, but... ...there's a sequel! As promised, Part Two of the Laced With Shame Trilogy is live, and almost ready to update! Woooo! Find it here! This was really late, and I am very, very sorry. I lost my drive for this story. But, it is back, and it has a vengeance! Expect chapters to come! Yeah!
Part IIt was cold tonight. As cold as it gets. If one were to cry, their tears would freeze before they hit the ground. Upon coming into contact with said ground, the now-frozen tears would shatter into tiny fragments. Now, you see, I could make this into a simile, this cold evening being the last five years, the tears being my self-composure, and the ground being reality. Why, you ask? It’s been five years since my friends left me. One day, they were there. Rainbow Dash had gone to her home in the sky, Pinkie to Sugarcube Corner, Applejack to Sweet Apple Acres, Rarity to the Carousel Boutique, and Fluttershy to her cottage. I had, of course, gone to the library. When I had awoken, everything was normal. I had eaten breakfast, gotten Spike up, and went out into Ponyville for another normal day. I was on my way to Sugarcube Corner, to get Pinkie. We had a previous arrangement, though I wasn’t sure for what. When I arrived on the porch, I noticed that it was quiet. Pinkie generally wasn’t the quiet type, and I was unnerved, if only ever so slightly. I opened the wooden door to find decorations about the walls and a large cake on the center table. The cake read, “Happy Birthday Twilight Sparkle” in pink frosting on its white body. Everything was strangely pristine, as if Pinkie was waiting for me. It’s probably safe to say that it was a surprise party for me, which means it was probably safe to say that the rest of my friends were there. I now noticed the party hats. There were six party hats scattered throughout the room. Two were lying next to the cake. One was on the ground next to the door, and another was resting on the countertop. Yet another party hat was next to the punch bowl on the table next to the cake table. One thing to remember: all of these hats were on their sides. Except for the final hat. No, this last hat was standing up straight on the table with the cake. Like it was never worn. Like a sixth pony was supposed to be there. Like I was supposed to be there. But now, on this cold night, I know I was supposed to be there. But I wasn’t, and now my friends were gone. That day, I had looked all over Ponyville for them. When my searches yielded nothing, I searched all of Equestria. Still nothing. My friends had left me, and they hadn’t bothered to tell me where they were going. That all changed with a letter from Princess Celestia. It was freezing in the library, as I said before, and now there were innumerous, tiny pieces of ice on the floor. The letter was long, but, for the sake of time, I must paraphrase. Basically, my friends have been gone for five years on a secret assignment from the princess. They were sent to the human world to act as explorers. They were to report their findings on the human world on a biweekly basis. But, the princess has not been receiving letters as of late, and this worries her. She wants me to go to the human world and figure out what’s going on. After not seeing my friends for years, I was in Canterlot as fast as I could be. You may be wondering, “Twilight! You’re a princess! Why are you not already living in Canterlot?” Good question, dear reader. You see, Ponyville was my prominent place of my residence during my unicorn years, and I want to stay there. Anyways, I was in Canterlot. The guards must have anticipated my arrival, since they were taking me to the castle’s deepest corridors within minutes of my arrival. After a short walk, we were in the room where I had first gone to the human world. There was a note taped to the mirror. Apparently, a while back, when I had chased Sunset Shimmer into the human world to get my crown, the ‘human world’ wasn’t the actual human world. It was like a limbo or something, a place where the two worlds bled into each other. By now, Celestia’s engineers had worked out the kinks, so it was safe to go through. Well, I guess there’s no point in delaying, so I’ll cut to the chase. I jumped into the portal, like a good little princess would do. When I got to the human world, it was night. I woke up in a back alley. A strange man, dressed in shoddy clothes was there, sitting on a bench. He was smoking a cigarette. “Hey there, pretty thing. You seem to have just popped out of the sky. Need any…help of the… sexual kind?” “Excuse me? Get lost.” I responded. What a nice first encounter, no? “Now listen here, little miss,” he advanced. “I don’t take too kindly to people not showing me any respect.” “That’s too bad. Again, get lost.” He didn’t seem to like my words, so he pulled out a small, rectangular box from his back pocket. He pressed a button on its side, revealing a small, pointed edge. A switchblade. He started to walk towards me, blade outstretched. “LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!” The man wheeled around on his heels. “What the hell was-,” Before he could finish his innocent query, a dark figure ran towards our friendly neighborhood creep, jumping up and kicking him in the chest. The man hit the floor with an audible thud. The dark figure ran at the man’s crumpled body. She pulled her own switchblade from her pocket and held it against his neck. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t slice your throat open right now.” The man said nothing. I decided not to interfere with their business. That would be rude. “Okay. I can take the silent treatment.” The figure was slightly illuminated from the neon lights that bore down on us. I could see it was a woman, about average height. She was slim in figure, but still healthy-looking. I couldn’t make out any other physical features. She reached for her back pocket, and pulled out a small, white packet of something. She took her knife, and cut open the man’s cheek. It was a small, clean cut, like she had done this before. It still looked like it hurt, and it probably did, given that the man was crying now, and a small puddle of tears and blood were forming on the ground underneath his head. Then, my savior, if I can call her that, opened up the packet. She took the opened packet, positioned it over the man’s cheek, and tilted it. Small, translucent granules of something fell onto the wound. It was salt. Salt and open wounds never mix particularly well. The woman took her hand and clamped it over the man’s mouth, stifling his screams. “Listen to me, and listen close, you fucker. Say another word to her, and I will stuff you and hang you on my fucking wall. Got it?” The man nodded yes. “Good. Now get the fuck out of my sight.” The man got up and ran away as fast as he could. My savior got up, dusted herself off, and looked at me. I could see her more clearly now. Her black hair fell in front of her red eyes. She was wearing a leather jacket, with a blue collared shirt underneath. She was also wearing black jeans with chains hanging from the belt loops. Black boots covered her feet. Although she looked different, there was something about her… and her voice was familiar… “Rainbow Dash?” I asked. She gave me a sideways glance, like she didn’t know what I was talking about. Not her. “Sorry. I mistook you for-,” “Twilight?”
Part II“Holy shit! Fucking hell! Twilight! How have you been?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I’m okay. How are you?” “I’m doing fucking great! Better, now that you’re here!” “It’s good to see you too, Rainbow Dash.” “You, uh… you haven’t been to the actual human world, have you?” “No, I haven’t.” “Okay. First things first. Here, you can’t call me Rainbow Dash.” “Why not?” “It’s not a name for a human. I go by Nicole now.” “Nicole?” I had never heard of that name before. “Yep. Do you like how you look, clothes-wise?” I hadn’t actually looked to see what I was wearing. I was wearing a purple t-shirt, black jeans, and some Converse sneakers. I looked presentable. Like a normal person. “Yeah, I look okay.” “Good deal. You don’t have a place to stay, do you?” “Nope.” “You can crash at my place.” “Really? I don’t want to intrude-,” “Don’t worry about it. We’re friends.” “Thanks.” I’m glad we were still friends, after being apart for so long. “I’m guessing you want to see the others, huh?” “Yes, I do,” I was very eager to do just that. “Great. Pinkie frequents a nice little bar around here. A place called ‘Travis’ Bar and Grille’.” “A bar?” “Yeah. Pinkie loves her liquor, I guess.” That can’t be good. On the walk over, Rainbow Dash pulled out a small, white box. It said ‘Camel’ on it. She pulled out a small white cylinder with an orange tip. She put the orange part into her mouth, and pulled out another small, white box. This box, when opened, produced a small flame. She took this flame, and applied it to the other end of the cylinder. She put both boxes back inside of her pocket, and continued walking. She inhaled, pulled the small cylinder out of her mouth, and exhaled. Gray smoke came out of her mouth, floating up towards the black night sky. “What was that?” I asked her. “The thing you just did.” “This? Oh, it’s a cigarette. I smoke them.” “Oh. By the way, I noticed you were a bit…rough with that guy back there.” “Oh, that guy? Sick fuck pulls shit like that all the time. I do my best to keep the streets clean.” “Isn’t that why we have the police?” “Well, yeah…bur…you know…it makes me feel good about myself.” I got the strange feeling that her goals weren’t as noble as she made them sound. Up ahead, I saw a bright sign. It read, ‘Travis’ Bar and Grille’ in bright letters. “Look at that. We’re here!” said Rainbow Dash. We stepped inside. It was brightly lit, with a bright white countertop and clean tables all around. It was a nice place. The stools up against the bar were made of clean, red leather. And, on the third stool to my right, was not other than everyone’s favorite party animal, Pinkie Pie. She was wearing a pink marshmallow ski jacket, with a black jacket underneath. She had black jeans on her legs, similar to Rainbow Dash’s jeans, but without the chains. She had pink, high-top sneakers on her feet. “Travis. Another shot. Give me your best liquor here.” A man, wearing an apron, came out of the kitchen behind the counter. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough, miss?” “No. I think I haven’t had enough. I’m not the least bit drunk right now.” “Miss, you’ve fallen off the bar stool three times since you’ve come here.” “Shut up and take my money!” “Pinkie?” I called out. She turned to look at me. “Who’s asking? Wait…Twilight!” Some other patrons looked at us, probably intrigued by our strange names. Well, strange to them. “Yes, Pinkie. It’s me.” “Long time no see! Hey, Dashie. How have you been?” Pinkie asked. “I’ve been okay,” Rainbow Dash responded. “Good, good.” Pinkie took another swig of her beverage. She was slightly off-balance now. “Pinkie, are you okay?” I asked. “I… I am fine. Just a little…weird.” She looked at her watch. “Fuck, I gotta go home. It’s pretty late. See ya tomorrow, Travis.” “See you tomorrow, Pinkie.” The bartender resumed his normal work. “Pinkie, how are you able to use your real name here?” I asked her. “Rainbow Dash can’t use hers.” “Most people think it’s a childhood nickname.” “Oh. I see. You seem to drink a lot, Pinkie.” “Of course I do, silly. Everyone needs to drink.” “I meant alcohol.” “Oh. Yeah. I like to drink alcohol a lot. Makes good memories better. Of course, most of your memories are better when you find them at the bottom of a bottle,” she painfully reminisced. “Pinkie, let’s get you home, okay?” I said. “Sure. My apartment is just down the street. Rainbow Dash and I share a place.” “Really?” “Yeah,” Rainbow Dash interjected. “By the way, Pinkie, Twilight’s gonna crash with us for a bit. Get settled in.” “Okey dokey lokey!” Pinkie said. She seemed eager to have another friend with her. “So, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said, “when we get home, just take it easy, okay? I’ll get you a bed or something, and we can watch a movie or something. I say we watch Memento. You know, with Joe Pantoliano and Guy Pearce? It’s about this guy who has short-term memory loss, and he has to find his wife’s killer. It’s really good.” “We can watch it, I guess.” “Awesome!” After some more walking, we finally arrived at the apartment. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie led me up to the apartment. When we got inside, I was glad to see it was clean. I’ve always disliked messiness to some extent. Now that I’ve seen a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother, I can say that their apartment looks exactly like Ted’s. The kitchen was in the corner, and a small step led up to the large window and bedroom. It was a nice place. “Nice place, girls,” I complimented. “I could definitely stay here.” “Great,” said Rainbow Dash. “I’m glad you like it.” I have a feeling that life here will be good.
Part IIIIt was cold again this morning. Rain pattered against the windows, calming my nerves. I suppose I was nervous because I had yet to hear from Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy. Perhaps Rainbow Dash and Pinkie knew where they were. “Twilight! Get up! Getupgetupgetup!” Rainbow was shouting at me in some form of chaotic chorus. I got up from my air mattress on the floor and did my morning routine (which, might I add, was quite different from my normal routine back at Ponyville). I showered, brushed my teeth, and ate. Well, almost ate. I was about to make some scrambled eggs with lots of pepper (it does make everything better, after all) when Rainbow Dash ran down the stairs and grabbed her jacket off the hook. She hurriedly put it on, along with her boots. “C’mon, Twilight! We’re gonna be late!” “Late for what?” “I was able to snag a breakfast with Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy! All six of us will be there.” “Really?” “Yeah! So hurry up!” I got dressed in something as fast as I could. I put on a purple sports jacket, some jeans, and my shoes. “Pinkie got a head start. She reserved a table,” Rainbow said. “She should be there now. Come to think of it, so are the others! Let’s go!” “I’m ready. Lead the way.” Rainbow walked down the flight of stairs to the base of the apartment complex. She turned left around a brick wall and went towards some strange device. It was almost shaped like a rectangle, but it was curved and sleek. It had a red body. A sheet of glass stuck up from about the middle of the thing, and there were four seats inside and four wheels on the bottom. “Rainbow, what is this thing?” I pondered. I had never seen anything like it. She pulled out a key from her pocket. She got in the front-left seat, and put the key in the thing. She turned the key, and two lights on the device’s front turned on. “It’s a car.” “A car? What’s a car?” “It’s something humans use to get from Point A to Point B quickly. There are tons of different kinds, and they use them, sometimes, to show superiority from time to time. Some are more expensive than others.” “Humans use inanimate objects to show dominance?” “It’s beyond me, Twilight. Anyways, get in beside me.” “Okay.” “Put on your seatbelt, too.” She motioned to a strap beside me. “Just pull it and put it into this thing here.” She gestured toward a small box with a slit and a red button on it. I slid the belt into the slit. It locked with a satisfying click. “I guess I’m ready,” I said. I was definitely nervous. I was putting my life into Dash’s hands. Not that I didn’t trust her and her judgment, but I had never been in a car before, and I was worried. Dash applied pressure to a pedal on the ground, and before I knew it, we were speeding off towards no other place than ‘Travis’ Bar and Grille’. When we got there, we could see everyone through the plate glass windows. There were three seats on each side. Each side currently had two people sitting there. Rarity was sitting next to Applejack. Fluttershy was across from Rarity, and Pinkie was across from Applejack. When Rainbow and I walked in, the group turned. Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy all lit up, their faces aglow with excitement. “Twilight, darling! However have you been?” Rarity asked. “I’ve been good, Rarity. You?” “Fine, darling. Perfect.” “Hey there, Twi! Glad to see you’re doin’ fine,” said Applejack. “Yes, Twilight. I was so sorry we had to leave without telling you. I was so worried you would be mad at us, but the princess said it was urgent, and I didn’t have a choice. Can you forgive me, Twilight?” Fluttershy was visibly worried about my response, afraid of my rejection. “Of course, Fluttershy. I understand completely. But why didn’t the princess tell me?” None of my friends knew why Celestia had kept me in the dark. But enough of that. Time to order. I was starved. I got some scrambled eggs. Rarity got a French toast, while Applejack got pancakes. Pinkie got some waffles with bacon mixed into the batter (whatever bacon is), and Fluttershy ordered a breakfast salad. Rainbow Dash got an omelet with bacon, ham, cheese, mushrooms, and green peppers. When the food came (it wasn’t a long wait) we ate and caught up. Rainbow Dash was an accountant. Fluttershy was a veterinarian with her own office, while Rarity was an aspiring fashion designer. Her designs haven’t been accepted yet, however, so she works a multitude of other jobs to support herself. She’s a waitress at three restaurants, and works other jobs to get money. Applejack is a marriage counselor, and Pinkie is a party planner. No surprise there. While we were talking, Rarity got up. “Excuse me, darlings. I must excuse myself for a moment. I’ll be right back.” She walked off towards the restroom. She seemed a bit on edge. Her voice had been shaky, and her eyes were a bit bloodshot. “I’ll go see if she’s okay,” I said, responding to the general mood of uneasiness. I walked towards the bathroom. When I got there, Rarity was leaning over the sink, with a few small capsules in her hand. She put them in her mouth and swallowed. “Rarity?” I called out. “Oh! Twilight! You scared me.” “What are you doing?” “Oh, you mean the pills? I took some Tylenol. I’ve been having horrid headaches as of late. The Tylenol is doing well to relieve them.” “I see. Well, I hope you fell better.” I also saw that her eyes weren’t as bloodshot anymore, and her voice wasn’t shaky. What kind of headache causes bloodshot eyes and a shaky voice?
Part IVRarity and I were back at the table now. I took my seat next to Pinkie and resumed eating my eggs. I looked over at Fluttershy, to see how she was doing, and I noticed something about her now. She had a black eye. “Fluttershy?” I asked, “how did you get that black eye?” Everyone at the table stopped eating out of their concern for Fluttershy and looked up at her. “Oh, this? I got this when I fell down the stairs at my house. I live in the suburbs. My boyfriend, Tim, called 911 and got me to the hospital. He’s such a nice guy. I’m glad I found him,” Fluttershy explained. “Oh. I see,” I said. For some reason, I felt that she wasn’t telling the truth. At least not all of it. “It’s okay, Twilight. You don’t have to feel bad about being worried about me.” She smiled at me. After some more talking about random subjects, the waiter brought us the bill. Rarity knocked Applejack’s hand out of the way to nab it. “Darling,” she said, “I simply cannot allow you to pay.” “Are you sure? I have money. I went to the casino last night and made a bunch of money,” Applejack said. “I’ve been goin’ there a lot lately, makin’ some extra money.” “Darling, I have never been more sure of something in my life.” “Alrighty then.” “The casino?” I asked. “What’s a casino?” “A casino is a place where you make bets with your money and try to make more money,” Applejack explained. “It’s pretty addictin’, actually.” So, Applejack could be addicted to gambling. This morning keeps getting better and better. Rarity went up to the counter and paid the bill. “We must do this again, and soon,” she said. “Oh, yes.” Fluttershy first. “YesyesyesyesYES!” Pinkie next. “I’m down.” Rainbow Dash third. “Definitely.” Applejack now. “Sure.” That was me. “It seems to be settled, then, darlings. Call me when you can.” “Sure thing,” said Rainbow Dash. With plans to make plans, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy went on their way. I looked back at our table. I noticed a small, black device on the table. It was Fluttershy’s phone. “Guys, look.” Pinkie and Rainbow turned around. “It’s Fluttershy’s phone.” “Oh, shit,” Rainbow commented. “We had better get it back to her. But I don’t know where she lives.” “Neither do I,” Pinkie added. “We could use WhitePages, though.” “Yeah, sounds good,” said Rainbow Dash. “WhitePages would probably know where Fluttershy lives. That is its job, right?” Without another word, Dash and I got into Dash’s red car, while Pinkie went over to hers. It was a pink car, almost identical to Dash’s, but slightly bulkier. Pinkie started her car. “Let’s go, girls.” Dash started the car. I buckled my seatbelt (they still confound me) and, without a word of warning, we were off. When we got back to the apartment, Dash ran over to the computer that was located against the wall near the door. She went to look for Fluttershy’s address. Meanwhile, Pinkie went over to the fridge and pulled out a brown bottle. It said ‘Budweiser’ on its side. It was beer, I think. I had seen an advertisement for it on the way home on a large billboard. I knew beer had alcohol in it, too. So, her we were, back from breakfast, and Pinkie was already getting drunk. She must’ve had at least four by the time Rainbow Dash had called us. “I have the address and directions. Let’s roll.” We followed Dash downstairs to her car. Pinkie started to move towards her own car, but Dash stopped her. “Pinkie? I don’t think you should drive.” “Oh. Okay,” Pinkie complied. I was surprised at her willingness to follow orders. Pinkie usually danced to the beat of her own drum. Pinkie got into the back seat and buckled her seatbelt. She seemed a but disoriented. She was definitely drunk. Dash started the car. “We’re going to the suburbs. A place called Redwood Shores.” “Lead the way,” I responded. Dash drove, and before we knew it, we were in front of Fluttershy’s house. The tree of us got out of the car and walked towards the front door. When we reached the entrance, we could hear muffled shouts and crying. I couldn’t make out much, but I could try. “What the fuck, you bitch!” That was a male voice. It was an average man’s voice, not deep, but not high-pitched, either. “I’m sorry, Tim! I really am.” That was Fluttershy. “Sorry doesn’t cut it, you stupid bitch!” Rainbow Dash knocked on the door. No one came. “I have half a mind to beat you to a pulp right now, you bitch!” The male voice must have been Tim, Fluttershy’s nice boyfriend. “I’m sorry, Tim! Please, you have to forgive me.” Dash knocked harder this time. Still nothing. We could hear a loud smack through the door. “That’s it! I’m coming in!” Rainbow Dash shouted. She placed both hands on the sides of the door, and kicked as hard as she could. The door burst open. When we looked inside, we could see Fluttershy on the floor, with a bloody nose. Tim was standing over her, blood on the back of his hand. Rainbow Dash saw the scene, and must have set her off. “Oh, you SON OF A FUCKING WHORE!” She walked towards him. “Who the fuck are you, her friends?” Tim asked, sneering. Rainbow Dash ignored him and kicked him in his left knee. There was an audible crunch as his bone slightly broke. “AGH! You fucking bitch!” he shouted up at Rainbow Dash. “You broke my knee! My fucking knee!” She looked into his eyes. “Buddy, I plan on breaking a lot more than your knees. Get the fuck up.” He stood up. She kicked his knee again. “Agh! Fuck!” “Get up.” “No.” Dash pulled out her switchblade. She flipped the blade out and stuck it in his mouth. “Have you ever seen a movie called The Dark Knight, Tim? Well, there’s one part where the Joker does this to a mobster, and he tells him the story of how he got his scars. And if you don’t shut your fucking mouth, I will give you a matching set of scars you can tell your bastard children all about. Got it, fuckhead?” He nodded quickly, terrified. She pulled him up and threw him on the countertop. “I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson. Pinkie, hold this guy’s other arm down.” Pinkie, too drunk to think for herself, happily complied. Rainbow Dash took her switchblade and plunged it into Tim’s left arm. Blood spurted out of the wound, getting on Dash’s knife and hand, Tim’s arm, and the countertop. “AGH! Please stop! Please!” He was begging now. “No, I think I’ll give you a MATCHING FUCKING SET!” She took the knife out of Tim’s left arm and drove it into his right, having a similar effect as before. “Agh! Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck! Please stop!” Tim was wailing. “Why? You’ll just beat Fluttershy again!” “No, I won’t! Please! I’m begging you!” Dash contemplated this. She removed the knife from his arm, but not before taking a porcelain plate and smashing it over his head. Small cuts appeared all over Tim’s face, bleeding. “Come on, girls,” Rainbow Dash said. “Nothing to see here except for a sad, sick fuck who gets off on beating helpless people.” We all left the house. I looked over my shoulder, looking back inside. Blood was on the counter. Tim was sitting against the wall, wheezing. I couldn’t figure out why Tim had gone off on Fluttershy like that. Then I saw the reason. On the floor was a broken porcelain plate.
Part VI woke up. It was dark outside. It didn’t feel like morning, so I checked the digital clock next to my mattress. It read 3:24 AM. It was the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep. Maybe it had something to do with yesterday. After Rainbow Dash had beaten up Tim, we took Fluttershy back to our place. Dash had found her a mattress to sleep on, along with some blankets. Pinkie was still drunk, and was talking to herself now. She was blindly reminiscing about our days in Equestria. About how those were the good old days. She was right. This place, the human world, had so many bad things about it. Violence, corruption, self-indulgence…it was a rotten meal, and humans the maggots feeding off of it, wildly and without thinking twice. But maybe I’m wrong. Look at Travis, the bartender. He showed concern for Pinkie when she was getting drunk on that one night we found her. He cares about people. Perhaps there are small pockets of nice scattered around the world. Anyways, I was awake, and I wasn’t about to try to fall back asleep. I wasn’t tired. I fumbled in the darkness, looking for a light switch or something to help me see. I found nothing, but by the time I had given up, my eyes had adjusted to the dark. I heard something. There were clinks and clanks coming from the kitchen. Someone was trying to steal from us? Why? I headed down into the kitchen. There was a dark silhouette standing in front of the open fridge. Then, the fridge closed. The figure was holding a bottle. It opened the bottle, and took a few large gulps of its beverage. Then, the figure walked towards the couch. It sat down on the brown faux-leather couch. The intruder then picked up the remote and turned on the TV. How I Met Your Mother was on. Apparently, something funny happened on the show (I don’t always get its humor) and the figure giggled. It was an unmistakable giggle. It was Pinkie’s giggle. “Pinkie Pie?” I called out. Pinkie turned around. “Oh, hey, Twilight. Why are you up so early?” “I couldn’t sleep. Why are you up so early?” She held up her bottle. “I was thirsty.” “So you had some beer? Are you serious?” “Twilight, I was thirsty! What do you want me to drink?” “I don’t know, maybe water?” “Water’s boring. Beer is exciting.” “Beer made you an alcoholic.” “I’m not a fucking alcoholic! What the fuck would make you think I’m an alcoholic?” “I don’t know! Maybe it’s because every time you have the chance, you have a beer! Maybe it’s because you’re up at 3:30 in the morning having a beer! Maybe it’s because you’re such a shallow idiot, you can’t understand what’s wrong with you!” I regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth. Pinkie started to cry. “Fuck you, Twilight. Fuck you.” “Pinkie, I didn’t mean to-“ “No, you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. But that doesn’t mean all is forgiven! You’re such a high and mighty fucking prick, you don’t understand that it’s not as easy as just stopping! I can drink whatever the fuck I want to drink, okay? You’re not my fucking mother, okay? I don’t need you! I don’t need you as my friend! As far as I’m concerned, you can go jump off of a fucking bridge. Fuck you, Twilight! Fuck you to hell and back!” She stormed out of the apartment, bottle in hand, tears running down her cheeks and soiling the floor with their sad moisture. She was gone now. Rainbow Dash ran out of the bedroom. “What was that all about?” “I…I messed up, Dash. Pinkie hates me now, and you’ll probably end up hating me too. I bet everyone’ll hate me.” Fluttershy came up behind be and put an arm on my shoulder. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Twilight. It’s just a rough patch. It’ll all be okay.” For some reason, I had a feeling that it wasn’t just a rough patch.
Part VIIt wasn’t too late. It couldn’t be. I ran down the apartment stairs as fast as I could. When I reached the bottom, I saw Pinkie. She was walking towards her car. “Pinkie!” I called out to her. She turned around. “What the fuck do you want, huh? What do you want from me? Why do you still want to be my friend? Huh? Come on, give me a fucking answer!” “I’m sorry, Pinkie. It’s just this place is really getting to me. Please, don’t go.” “This place got to me too! Why the fuck do you think I like to drink?” “Pinkie, please! You have to understand! I don’t get this place! I’ve never been here before! Please, give me a chance! Please!” I was crying now, but I hardly noticed. She looked at me, her blue eyes piercing my soul. “Twilight, I…” Tears were streaming down her face. “I…I…you’re right. I guess I’m just scared, Twilight. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, and I just…why didn’t the princess tell you about this thing?” Why didn’t the Princess tell me about this thing? “I don’t know, Pinkie. I don’t know. Are you okay, Pinkie?” She nodded. “Yeah. I think I’m okay.” I smiled at her. “Come on inside. It’s dark and cold out here.” “Okay.” We walked towards the door. Rainbow Dash held open the door for us as we walked inside. The cigarette she had apparently started smoking was glowing, dropping hot red embers on the cracked ground of the parking garage. We reached the apartment. Pinkie headed straight for her room. “I gotta get some damn sleep. See you in the morning.” “Goodnight, Pinkie,” we all said. It was a bit strange, all of us saying the same thing. Fluttershy went towards the couch. That reminds me, I never explained what had happened with Fluttershy after we saved her from Tim. We had taken her back to the apartment, and Rainbow Dash had arranged for her to stay with us for a while until we found her somewhere better to stay. Rainbow Dash had found her another mattress and blanket, and she seemed to be enjoying the company of her friends for the time being. “Twilight? Rainbow Dash?” she called. “Yeah, Fluttershy?” Dash responded. “I…I think I’m going to move back in with Tim tomorrow. Well, later today, I guess.” “WHAT?” Rainbow Dash shouted. “That motherfucker beat you like a dog, and you’re just going to go back to him and take it? Fluttershy, it’s dangerous.” “Rainbow Dash, I can make it work. It’s nothing a little kindness can’t fix. Just let me try, okay?” “Fluttershy, I don’t want you to get hurt. I just…god damn it, why do things have to be so fucking hard?” Fluttershy looked hard a Rainbow Dash. “Just let me try, okay?” Rainbow Dash sighed. “Fine. But if that sick fuck so much as lays a finger on you, you call me. Got it?” Fluttershy nodded in response. “Thank you so much for understanding, Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy went back to her mattress, a wide smile on her face. “Twilight?” Rainbow Dash looked at me. “Did I just… did I just give my friend up to a sick fuck who beats her up for fun?” I looked at her. “Dash, Fluttershy has a knack for calming down violent souls. Remember that one time the Princess asked Fluttershy to rehabilitate Discord?” “Yeah. I guess you’re right.” She got up and started to walk towards her bed. “Goodnight, Twilight. Sleep well. We’re going to see Rarity and Applejack again. All six of us.” That was the best news I had heard all day. “Alright, then,” I said. “Good night, Rainbow Dash.” “Night, Twilight.” That night, I had a nightmare. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie were all dead. They were lying on the floor, blood all over the floor and surrounding areas. There was a small note on the floor next to their cold, dead, lifeless bodies. It read, “THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK WITH HIGHER POWERS THAN YOURSELF. LET THIS BE A LESSON FOR YOU.” It was written in blood. But this was the worst part about the whole thing. On the bottom right hand corner of the note was the Royal Seal.
Part VIII woke up. My clock read 8:13 AM. A normal time to wake up. I arose from bed and shambled down to the kitchen. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy were already up, talking about something in the living room. I decided not to interrupt their conversation, and instead opted to take a shower, brush my teeth, and get dressed. I had never taken the time to look at myself in the mirror since I had gotten here. I looked more or less exactly the same as I had when I was in Equestria, aside from a few things. For starters, I no longer had a muzzle, and my nose protruded from a small triangle on my face. It was almost impossible to tell the difference, however. Now that I think about it, the same went for the rest of my friends. They all look pretty much the same. Interesting. Anyways, I had gotten dressed. I sauntered into the living room casually, now rejuvenated from my shower earlier. “Morning, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash greeted. “I see you’re ready to go out into the world.” “I guess so. You said yesterday that we were going to see Applejack and Rarity?” “Yeah, but not until lunch time. Have some breakfast. I made toast.” “Thanks.” “No problem. By the way, we still haven’t watched Memento. How’s about we watch it later tonight? In fact, we could probably invite Rarity and AJ over for it, too. Maybe order a pizza or something.” “That’d be great. We have a lot of catching up to do. Speaking of catching up…” Dash caught the message. She motioned for me to take a seat on the green chair on the opposite side of the coffee table she was sitting at. I gladly took my seat. It was soft. It looked like it was made out of some form of carpet or tarp, but it was actually quite comfortable. We had caught up on what had happened in the years since they had left Equestria. There was too much to transcribe here, but it was all generally the same. Some Good Samaritan had given them a hand somewhere while they learned the ins and outs of human life. Normal fare. They had gotten jobs and homes. They made new lives for themselves all while keeping correspondence with her. They were able to jumpstart a makeshift portal in Rainbow’s apartment using some cables and other things. I have no idea what they were talking about, though. I’ve never heard of jumper cables or car batteries. “Oh shit!” Dash said to no one in particular. “We’re gonna be late!” Pinkie jumped to her feet faster than you can say hyperactive. “Come on, girls! We’re gonna be late! Let’s go!” She shot towards the door. We all got up and started down towards the car. “Rainbow Dash?” I beckoned. “I…need to talk to you.” She looked back at me. “What’s up?” “Last night I…had a nightmare.” “Don’t worry about those. They aren’t real, you know.” “This one was bad. You guys were in it.” “Really?” “Yeah. You were all…dead. There was a note on the floor, and it was written in your blood, and it said…um…it said…it said THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK WITH HIGHER POWERS THAN YOURSELF. LET THIS BE A LESSON FOR YOU. And on the bottom right hand corner of it was the Royal Seal.” “The Royal Seal? As in, Princess Celestia Royal Seal?” “Yes.” “Huh.” She took out her small package of cigarettes. It was full last time I had seen it, and now it was almost empty. She took out the last one in there, stuck it in her mouth, and lit it. She took a few puffs of it. The smoke curled from her lips and floated up towards the ceiling. “Fuck,” she said. “Last one. I’ll buy some more later.” I’ll save you the whole part about us getting in the car and driving somewhere. You know what that’s like. Anyways, this time, we were going to a place called Penn Station. It wasn’t half bad. It was fast, though, so we didn’t have much time to talk. We, being the six of us. Anyways, after lunch, Rarity nudged me. “Darling, would you like to come with me, and perhaps catch up on everything? I need to stop at the pharmacy to pick up some things.” “Sure.” “Fantastic!” She got Rainbow Dash’s attention. “Rainbow Dash, is it okay if I take Twilight for a bit? I can bring her back.” “Sure. You don’t have to ask my permission. I’m just glad you told me about it, or I’d have thought Twi was missing.” “Thank you.” “No prob.” Rarity turned back to me. “Well, we’ve paid, so we can be off.” “Okay.” I turned back to the rest of the girls. “See you all later.” Fluttershy piped up. “Where are you going?” “Rarity and I are gonna hang out.” “Oh. Okay. Um, have fun.” I got up from my seat and followed Rarity out of the restaurant. “The pharmacy and my house are only a few blocks away. We can walk and talk. So, Twilight, darling, how have you been? It’s been so long!” I gave her the full report about my stay here in the human world. I left out the nightmare, though. Something told me I shouldn’t have spoiled the visit. We reached the pharmacy. It was a small white building with a sliding door as the entrance. When we walked towards the door, it opened itself. The sudden movement of the door startled me, and Rarity picked up on it. “It’s not magic, darling. It has a camera, and when it sees you, it opens up the door for you.” “Oh.” We walked inside. Rarity was quick about shopping, it seemed. She made a beeline for an aisle near the back of the building. She picked up a white bottle. It said, “Tylenol” on the white and red label. In smaller, black letters, it read “acetaminophen” under the larger letters. She walked up to the counter and pulled out a small blue card that read “VISA” in yellow lettering. There was a string of numbers on the card. Rarity placed the bottle on the counter, and the worker picked it up. I noticed a pattern of white and black stripes on the bottom of the bottle. The worker held the monochromatic pattern under a red laser until a machine made a beeping noise. The worker then told Rarity the cost of her purchase, which was around ten dollars. I guess dollars are the currency here. Anyways, Rarity swiped the card through a small black device on the counter and signed something on it. The worker gave her the receipt and we were on our way. “What was that?” I wondered aloud. “That’s how a lot of people buy things in the human world. See, that black and white pattern? Did you see it? Anyways, that thing tells the machine what it is I’m buying. The machine then adds all the numbers up and I swipe that card I had in the machine. Then, I sign my name and I’ve paid.” “Oh. Rarity?” “Yes, darling?” “What’s Tylenol?” “Oh, it’s a painkiller.” “I see. We have painkillers in Equestria.” “Yes, we do. They have proven useful ore than once, I assure you.” “Rarity?” “Yes?” “I saw you with a bottle of those things about two days ago, and it was almost full. How did you go through all of those in just a few days?” Rarity fell silent. After a while, she spoke. “Well, I… I used them.” ‘That many?” “I suppose.” All those in two days?
Part VIIIOkay. So I’ve had a lot of time to practice my human skills from Celestia assigning me a year here. I’ll get to that later. Anyways, I can now (hopefully) describe things better, and I now have knowledge of things that people seem to take for granted, like credit cards and cars and things. So, yeah. See? I’m using humanisms. Kinda. Anyways, where was I? Oh, right, Rarity having a problem. She certainly seems to like painkillers. “Twilight, darling?” Rarity called for me from the main room of her apartment. After the pharmacy, we had headed to Rarity’s small apartment near the pharmacy. Yes, she lives near the pharmacy. This keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it? “What’s up?” “Applejack called. She wants to meet with you, and…well, talk, I suppose.” “Uh, cool.” “Cool? You’re beginning to sound like Rainbow Dash now.” “Well, I am living in her apartment.” She sighed. “I suppose that’s true. Has she shown you any movies yet?” “No. Why?” “Well, ever since we came here, she’s really gotten into the movies they have here. Movies are different here than in Equestria. There are tons of different actors, actresses, genres, directors…much, much more than in Equestria. And the quality! Oh, darling, some of the movies I’ve seen here just seem so real!” “That’s…that’s great, I guess.” “Oh. Right. Applejack. She’ll come and pick you up in…” Just then, there was a knock at the front door. “Now, apparently. I’ll get it.” Rarity walked towards the door and turned the handle. “Howdy, Rarity. How are ya?” “I’m fine. How are you?” “Eh, I’m okay. Plannin’ on goin’ down to the casino. Wanna come?” “No thank you, darling. I’ve never really taken to gambling like you have.” Oh, shit. (Did I use that right? I’m still learning.) “Well, to each their own, I guess. Twi here?” “Yes, she is. Well, don’t just stand there! Come in!” Applejack sauntered into the room, her ever-present Stetson resting atop her blonde hair. She had on a red plaid shirt that was rolled up at the elbow over a plain white t-shirt. She was wearing jeans adorned with golden stitching in curled designs near the pockets. On her feet were cowboy boots. “Howdy, Twi!” She came over to me and gave me a hug. “Hey, AJ.” “How ya been holdin’ up?” “I’ve been doing well. How about you?” “I can’t complain. Well, I didn’t come here to talk. You wanna go somewhere?” “Uh, sure. You said something about a casino?” “Yeah, I was plannin’ on goin’ there. Wanna come with me?” “Sure, why not?” We arrived at a place called the Golden Gate Casino. A large neon sign informed me that it was this place’s grand opening, and that all alcoholic beverages were half off. Good thing Pinkie wasn’t here. Applejack and I walked into the light-adorned entrance. Inside, it was a clusterfuck (I think so, anyways) of men in expensive suits, women in expensive dresses, and waiters and waitresses carrying food and drink around. Applejack looked to her lefy. “Hey, Twi, c’mere and look at this.” “What?” She pointed to an elliptical green table. At first, I had no idea what it was. Then it hit me. A poker table. “What, you like to gamble, AJ?” I asked her. “Hell yeah. I love to gamble!” Oh boy. Five hours of unbearable tension and annoying waiters later, Applejack had blown five hundred dollars trying to win. “AJ! Do you have any idea what you just did!?” I scolded her as we walked out. “Uh…I lost?” She meekly answered, disappointment evident on her face. “You lost? You lost five. Hundred. Dollars!” “So what? You win some, you lose some.” “So what!? SO WHAT!? YOU LOSE FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS, AND YOUR BEST ANSWER IS SO WHAT!? WHAT DO-“ She grabbed me by the collar and pulled me close to her face, which was scrunched up in determination. “Now listen here, Twi, and listen close. I lost today. I get that. Gambling is what I do. I come and go to casinos just about every night, and I have learned that sometimes, you win and sometimes, you lose. Tonight was just one of those nights that I lost. Got it?” My face fell. “Yes. I got it.” She let go of me. She looked down and kicked the ground. “I’m…I’m sorry. It’s just…you’ve been gone for so long, and it’s just…I missed you, Twi. I missed you so much.” She was crying, and her tears were moistening my shoulder. “It’s alright, Applejack. Why don’t we go back to Dash’s place? You could use some rest with a few friends.” I smiled at her. “Yeah, all right. Sounds good.” We drove off. “Yo, Twilight! Oh, hey, AJ! What’s up?” Rainbow Dash greeted us as we walked into the apartment. “Not much. How’s it been with you, Dash?” Applejack returned. “Eh, I’ve been doin’ okay. You guys wanna watch a movie?” “What movie?” I asked. “Memento! We should totally watch Memento. Hey! Why don’t we invite the other girls over?” I liked this idea. All my friends in one place? Well, as much as I hate to take advantage of the situation, it’d give me time to hold an intervention. I mean, Rainbow Dash is violent, Pinkie’s an alcoholic, AJ is a problem gambler, Rarity loves her painkillers, and Fluttershy gets the shit beaten out of her just about every day. The intervention, little did I know it then, almost destroyed our friendship.
Part XHey, it’s me, Twilight Sparkle. This part, I‘m going to transcribe what the girls said from some audio logs that I asked the girls to record. Some parts have been edited to flow better, but it’s more or less the same. With that said, enjoy. What’s up? Rainbow Dash here. Twilight decided that we should talk about what happened that one night after that intervention thingy, so I guess I’ll make the egghead happy. So, I’ll start off where Twi left off when everyone left my apartment. I had bought a gun a while back. You know, for home defense or some shit like that? By the way, don’t let Twilight fool you with the ‘humanisms’ bullshit. Profanity does exist in Equestria, and we use it. Apparently, Twilight doesn’t. Anyways, I had bought a gun. I was licensed to have one and everything. I took it from its safe in my bedroom, loaded it, turned the safety off, and stuck it in my mouth. The barrel prodded the roof. My finger rested over the trigger. Come on, Rainbow, I thought to myself. Stop being a pussy and do it. You have no friends anymore. Nothing to live for. Just do it. But, for some reason, I just couldn’t. I was crying now. My tears were getting all over the carpet. You fucked up, Dash, I thought. Twilight was right. You’re violent. Hell, you’ve almost killed two people since Twi got here, and that was about a week ago. How many before then? You even bought a gun, and you’re about to blow your brains out with it. You fucked up, bigtime. Yeah, I fucked up. But, hell, I’m Loyalty, and I was gonna make this right if it killed me. I needed to find Twilight. Howdy. It’s Applejack takin’ over the audio logs for a bit, ‘cause Twi thought it’d be a good idea to talk about it. I imagine that I’m not the only one that’s gonna do this, but I’m digressin’ or whatever Rarity’d probably say. Anyways, it was that night when we’d all gotten angry at each other, I had gone back to the casino with my lucky die in my pocket. Yes, I had lucky die. I had one a five thousand dollar jackpot with those die. Anyways, I wasn’t so lucky that night. For the second time. This time, I was able to make about a thousand bucks off the slot machines, but I lost it all when I went to the blackjack tables. Damn blackjack tables. Anyways, I walked out of the casino, havin’ lost ‘bout another five hundred. There was a pier nearby, so I decided to walk over there to, y’know, clear my mind or somethin’. I sat down on the edge and took out my lucky die. They were red and kinda see-through, y’know, like, translucent or whatever Twi’d say? I was there, lookin’ at ‘em, and I thought, Why am I doin’ this? Gamblin’? I keep…losing money. Was…was Rarity right? Am I…am I addicted? Hell, I’m Honesty, I might as well tell the truth. I am addicted, ain’t I? I guess…I guess I just…am I…in denial? I gotta stop avoiding it…I…I have a problem. And this is the last time I will let this happen, y’hear? I stood up and threw the die into the ocean, and they landed in the water with a satisfyin’ thunk. I knew what I had to do next. I had to find Twilight. Hiya. It’s me, Pinkie Pie, and I…I’m not feeling too good about any of this, so forgive me if I don’t sound…y’know, upbeat or whatever. So, after the fallout at the apartment, I had gone to a bar for a drink. One turned into two, and two turned into four, and four turned into seven. I was completely sloshed. A few minutes later, I found myself under an overpass. While I was throwing up, I started to cry. Why? Well, maybe it had to do with the fact that I might have just ruined my closest friendships. But hey, no biggie, right? Nothing a little fucking alcohol can’t fix? Yeah, right. Alcohol ruined everything, and, after that night, it wasn’t too hard to figure out that I might have had a problem. The first time I had alcohol in Earth, it was at a party the first week since we had arrived. I had gotten drunk, and there was this one guy, and he was kinda cute, and we…oh, hell, we fucked. He was a bit of a disappointment, but hey. I had fun with alcohol, and I guess…I guess I didn’t want the fun to stop. So I kept drinking and drinking and drinking. And look at where it got me. Crying and throwing up under an overpass. Great work, Pinkie Pie. What a great friend you are. That night, I made a vow. I was gonna find Twilight and make this right. Hello, it is I, Rarity, here to recount my experience with substance addiction. It was not a pleasant one, let me tell you. Anyways, Twilight wants me to talk about that night when we all hated each other for a bit. What a time that was. After I had stormed off in my rather childish display, I went home. I walked into my bathroom, opened the cabinet, and got out my painkillers. I was about to pop two into my mouth when I realized that Twilight was right. I was addicted. How could I let this happen to me? I only had headaches! I suppose maybe the headaches were psychosomatic? An excuse my mind made to take more? I don’t know. But that night, I did know one thing. I had to fix the problem, no matter the cost! I took my painkillers and emptied them into my toilet, and flushed. ANd promptly washed my hands vigorously. I knew one more thing after I got rid of my painkillers. I had to find Twilight. Oh. Um…hi…I’m Fluttershy, and I’m going to talk about what happened later that night, I guess… I had gone home to Tim. When I got in, he was waiting for me. He grabbed me by the neck and pushed me against the wall. “Where were you?” “I was out with my friends, but we…had a little fight…” “Oh really? Why didn’t I hear about it, huh? Your friends too good for me to know about?” “Well, I…um, thought it wasn’t very important…” I was really afraid, and I started to cry. “Stop crying, you bitch.” He slapped me, which made it worse. “I SAID STOP FUCKING CRYING!” He slapped me harder. He did it again, and again, and again. I couldn’t feel the right side of my face anymore. I was so scared. “Listen to me. Next time you do anything, I will hear about it. And one more thing. When that one bitch who stabbed me-“ “Nicole?” “You know her fucking name?” “She’s my friend…” “I bet she’s one of the ones you saw tonight, huh?” “Um…yes…” “Fucking great! Anyways, the bitch called you Fluttershy. What the hell does that mean?” “It’s an…um…childhood nickname…” “I WONDER WHY!” He pushed me down to the ground and kicked me in the stomach. It hurt. “Tim, why do you keep hurting me like this? Don’t you love me?” He laughed. “Love you? LOVE YOU?” He laughed again. “When we first met, at that restaurant, I approached you because I thought you’d be an easy target.” “Target? For what?” “For sex, you dumb fuck! And you were! You gave it up pretty easily! You’re a fucking whore, you know that? A FUCKING WHORE! I decided to keep you around for more sex. So, no, I don’t love you. You are my toy, bitch! Okay?” I nodded quickly. “Get up, toy. We’re gonna go play.” He picked me up, carried me into the bedroom, threw me onto the bed, and we…we…*sniff* I’m so sorry for crying, it’s just…*sniff* we had sex. But it didn’t feel very good. I moaned so he thought that I was enjoying it, but…I thought he loved me. And then, I realized something else. I realized I didn’t love him. In fact, I hated him with every fiber of my being. I should’ve let Rainbow Dash finish the job! Oh, my…did I just say that out loud? I’m so sorry! I’m just kind of angry right now… After he was satisfied, we went to bed. While he was sleeping, I figured out that Rainbow Dash and Rarity were right, that I wasn’t safe with Tim. My face and stomach still hurt. So I got up, got dressed, and set out for Twilight. But not before I called the local police and told them about what Tim did to me. The officer on the other end of the line was very nice. His name was Nathan. He told me to stay put and he would be there right away. Tim was woken up by the sirens. He slapped me and asked me what the noise was. When Nathan kicked down the door when Tim didn’t open it, he found Tim standing over me, about to slap me. He arrested Tim. Nathan was actually…kind of…really…cute? I…I made the first move. I asked him if he maybe wanted to get some dinner somewhere the next day, and he said yes. It turns out he’s really sweet, and he loves animals, just like me. But, about a few hours before that dinner, I had found Twilight.
Part XI“Twilight? You awake?” I felt a warm hand push my cheek. It woke me up. “Twilight? You okay?” The hand pushed me again. I recognized the voice. It was Rainbow Dash. “Twilight, are you okay-“ I groaned loudly. “What do you want?” “Well, I…I wanted to say sorry. For what I said. You were right.” Before I could react, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. I returned the hug and smiled. “It’s okay. I forgive you.” I felt moisture on my shoulder. “Are you…crying?” “No! I’m just…um…oh, fuck it, yes I’m crying! I could have lost you!” “But you didn’t, did you?” “No. So, we’re cool?” “Definitely. Just then, another pair of arms wrapped around me. “Hiya, Twilight! Did you know how worried I was? I mean, what with you and I both sleeping under the same overpass, and there’s no way it’s as comfy as sleeping in a bed! Sleeping in a bed is way comfier! That reminds me, who made beds? Who decided that sleeping on a rock wasn’t comfy enough? Because that person is really, really, really smart! And if they’re smart, I bet they were a scientist! And if they were a scientist, I bet they-“ I hugged Pinkie Pie. “I’m glad to see you too, Pinkie.” “Twilight?” she asked. “Yeah?” “I’m sorry. For what I did last night.” “It’s okay, Pinkie.” And then Pinkie started to cry, too. I saw Fluttershy walking towards us. “Oh…um…am I…interrupting something?” “Not at all, Fluttershy.” “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry…” “For what?” “For not listening to you guys about Tim. I’ll tell you about it some other time.” She came towards me and hugged me. “I’m sorry for leaving like that.” “It’s okay.” “Well, howdy, Twi! Hope I didn’t miss out on any of the fun?” Applejack. “Of course not, Applejack.” “Twi? I’m sorry ‘bout all that last night. I didn’t mean to mess up so bad.” “It’s fine, Applejack.” Walking the same steps as her friends before her, Applejack hugged me and started crying. And, finally, to round us off, came Rarity. “Hello, darlings. I’m…I’m terribly sorry for what happened last night. I was not thinking straight.” Rainbow Dash piped up. “Don’t sweat it. Wasn’t your fault.” “Oh, but it was.” I took over for Rainbow. “No, it wasn’t.” Rarity gave me a hug. We seem to be following a convention here. Something was still nagging at me. “How did you guys find me?” Pinkie answered my question. “Easy! I fell asleep under this here overpass, too! And when I woke up, all I had to do was look over and I saw you there! But you were asleep, so I sent a text to the girls when you were awake! But then I fell asleep, but I just woke up!” Huh. “I see.” That’s about it. We all made up. Oh, and remember when I said I had spent more time in the human world? Well, Princess Celestia had sent me a letter, instructing me to do more research on the human world with my friends! So we did. We went to parties and restaurants and all sorts of places. We sent our experiences to the Princess. Sure, this place has a ton of vices, like alcoholism, smoking, and abuse, but there’s also lots of good here, like with Travis, who we got to know some more. He’s a pretty nice guy, in short. And Nathan, Fluttershy’s new boyfriend. He’s not a huge prick, like Tim was. Speaking of which, I wonder what happened to him… But, I digress. Today, we leave back for Equestria. Maybe I’ll continue this log when I get there. Until then, this is Twilight Sparkle, signing off. Fuck me. I was so stupid to trust her! I should have known! She even told me Equestria was weak without the Elements before! How could I be so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid! Maybe I should slow down a bit, huh? In short, we were all lied to. When we got back through that makeshift portal, we found Equestria…taken over. Not by changelings, or Sombra, or Discord. It had been taken over by Princess Celestia. Or, as she liked to be called, Lord Celestia. Her intimidating likeness was all over posters with the word ‘OBEY’ written in large block letters under it. It was straight out of George Horsewell’s 1984. “Twilight Sparkle and company. Just the ponies I wanted to see.” I looked straight at her, betrayed. “What the hell have you done to Equestria?” She looked calm. “I’ve made it better, don’t you see?” “Better!? How!?” “Well, for starters, no more violence. Everyone agrees. There is peace, and there is order.” “There’s no free will! Or self-expression!” “Where there is free will, there is thought. Where there is thought, there is doubt. Where there is doubt, there is unrest. Where there is unrest, there is chaos.” “But…but…” “Are you really this stupid, Twilight? You were my best student! I didn’t realize you were a fool!” “Wha…” “Did I stutter?” I was taken aback by the Princess’ behavior. How could she just…do this to everypony? She wasn’t going to get away with this. “You’ll never dispel Equestria’s freedom! We’ll stop you!” “Ha. You can stop me from an enchanted prison cell?” “What?” Before I could respond, she picked me up with her aura. It enveloped me. She turned to the others. “You five. Leave, before I kill you.” Rainbow Dash flew a few feet off the ground. “We’ll never let you do that to Twilight!” Rarity pulled her down. “Rainbow Dash, we need to go now. We need to find a way to rescue Twilight later. Going in headfirst is a bad plan.” “But…” She sighed. “I guess you’re right. We’ll be back for you, Twilight! Okay?” My friends ran off to live another day. Celestia turned to me. “So, where were we? Oh, right, prison cell. Off you go.” Before I could fight back, I was in a prison cell in the Canterlot dungeons. I could tell by the style of the stones that were my walls. The floor was padded with hay, and cold, metal bars let me look out into the hallway, where there were other cells. But that’s not all. Remember my nightmare? There was the same image, painted, on the floor of my cell. Where was I? Oh, right. Fuck me.
Part IX“Girls, before we start, we need to talk.” I stood in the center of the room and looked each one of them in the eye. “It has come to my attention that there are some issues that need to be brought up here.” “Issues? Like what, darling?” asked Rarity. “Well, I’ll start with you. Rarity, remember earlier today, when we went to buy you some painkillers?” “Well, of course.” “How many are left in that bottle?” “Well…” she looked around the room, at each of her friends’ concerned looks. She sighed. “…about half.” “You went through half of that huge bottle in a few hours, Rarity! I hate to say it, but…” The words fought to come out of my mouth. “…you’re addicted.” “I am NOT addicted to anything! How dare you insinuate that I, of all people, are addicted to painkillers!” “Rarity, you went through half of that bottle in a few hours!” “I had many headaches!” Applejack piped in. “Rarity, addiction is a serious problem.” “You’re one to talk, Applejack!” Rarity burst out. “Excuse me?” “You go to a casino somewhere every single day! Twilight, did Applejack take you to a casino?” “Yes…Rarity, why don’t you just calm down and we can…” “How much money did Applejack lose today?” “Well…” “I’m waiting!” “…She lost five hundred dollars.” “FIVE HUNDRED! Applejack, you should be ashamed of yourself!” Applejack got back in to the conversation. “Me? Ashamed? Sorry I lost, Princess, but some of us gotta eat food, not drugs!” Rarity looked Applejack straight in the eye. “Fuck. You.” Pinkie, obviously drunk, jumped in. “Rarity, suck *hic* language!” she giggled to herself. “Pinkie, get your head out of the bottle and try to be sober for once!” She picked up Pinkie’s bottle and tossed it into the trash. “Ooh, stealing someone’s drink. I’ll have to write that one down so I can remember it next time I want to be a fucking prick, Rarity. Thanks,” Pinkie said through clenched teeth. “Excuse me?” “Get your head out of your ass, it’s not one of your fancy hats!” Dash burst. “Rarity, you’re completely blind to everyone else’s problems here!” “Oh, says Little Miss Perfect!” Rarity spat. “I heard about what you did to Tim. You could have killed him!” “It would’ve been an improvement to his character, I think.” “Ooh, you can use the word ‘character’! You’re not as dumb as I thought you were!” “Excuse me?” “You heard me!” Everyone stopped at the sound of sniffling. Fluttershy had curled herself up on the couch, crying. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. “I wanna go home. I wanna go home to Tim. He’ll know what to do.” “Fluttershy, why do you want to go to him? He beats you up, damnit!” Rarity spoke up again. “I agree. Why would you ever want to go home to-“ “SHUT UP!” Fluttershy suddenly shouted. “EVERYONE SHUT UP! I LOVE TIM, AND HE LOVES ME BACK! HE JUST SHOWS IT DIFFERENTLY!” She got up and ran out of the room, crying. Everyone sat in stunned silence, which Pinkie broke after a minute or two. “Good fucking job. I need a drink.” She left the apartment. “I’m leavin’,” said Applejack, who did exactly as she said. “So am I,” scoffed Rarity, also being true to her word. Rainbow and I stood in silence for a moment. “Twilight?” Dash finally asked. “Yes?” I asked, not being able to hold my tears back any longer. “Get the fuck out of my apartment.” “But where am I supposed to-“ “I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!” I ran out of the apartment and into the street. It started to rain. It was a cold, hard, heavy rain, and it mixed with my tears. I spotted an overpass, ran to it, and cried myself to sleep.
THE SEQUEL!So, ladies and gentlemen, I know this is late, but... ...there's a sequel! As promised, Part Two of the Laced With Shame Trilogy is live, and almost ready to update! Woooo! Find it here! This was really late, and I am very, very sorry. I lost my drive for this story. But, it is back, and it has a vengeance! Expect chapters to come! Yeah!
