The Grass is Really Green

by Aray

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy, Random
Length: 4055

One day Applejack wakes up to fields of nothing but grass and marijuana

After a spell goes awry, Applejack is left with nothing but marijuana to grow. She decides to make the best of a bad situation and sell this extinct plant to the consumers of Ponyville, while Twilight tries to come up with a reversal spell. Little does she know that selling weed may not be as straight forward as she thought.
Set before Alicorn Twilight.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-29 22:40:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Applejack woke up one morning. The crisp sunlight shimmered in through her window and lay rest on her sleepy head. She yawned and stretched her tired bones, stretching as she plopped on her hoofs and flipped her Stetson hat onto her head.

“Phew wee!” she said in a yawn “That there was the nicest darn sleep Ah’ve had in months!”

She began walking out of her room and down the stairs. The home was warmed by the sun and fresh with the cool morning air. She flicked her ears a little to get her hearing awakened and strolled into the kitchen to meet her kin. She froze however when she realized that not a pony was there. The pancakes and apple cider still lay on the table, not a bite or a sip being taken.

She walked over to them slowly analysing the crime scene and put her hoof up to her chin, murmuring an hmm. She looked around the empty house for any sign of an Apple member but after a few minutes just shrugged mumbling.

“They all must be out, Ah reckon… what time did Ah wake up?” she questioned and looked at the wooden clock on the wall. It showed the time of six o clock and she blinked her eyes confused. Now this didn’t seem right. Her folks were usually up and already eating breakfast by now. She just shrugged guessing that they had started work without her and lunged into breakfast.

The pancakes sure did taste nice she thought. She poured maple syrup onto them and slurped it up with her mouth, munching and biting away at the floppy pancakes. The syrup run down her mouth and she swept it up with her wet tongue. She hummed out a satisfied moan as she felt her stomach become mighty bloated and rubbed the food baby with her hoofs. She usually didn’t gorge herself that much but with food just sitting there she couldn’t let it go to waste. Instead she let it go to her waist.

She laughed at that joke she told herself and tried to remember to add it to her joke book. She got up off the old rooky chair that was usually reserved for Granny Smith and trotted out with ease to the fields. She gave a good stretching of her muscles, pulling her back into the position of a yawning cat and looked out to the fields. In that second flat her mouth dropped open as before her lay nothing but grass.

She blinked her eyes thinking they were playing tricks on her but as she looked for miles around all she saw was grass. Not a single tree was in sight.

“Sweet Celestia!” She cried, her heart drumming mad in panic. She ran through the fields searching everywhere for a single apple tree, but no matter how far she went all she came across was grass and this strange five pointed leafed plant.

Heck this plant was everywhere, covering every inch of where her trees had once been. It grew out like an herb almost, tall with its thin green leafs. Eventually as she headed back to her house she saw her brother and sister rolling around in the plant in a nearby field and she approached them. Big Mac and Applebloom were rolling all around, giggling and talking in a dopey type of way and Applejack had to ask.

“Big Mac, Applebloom! Where are all the trees?”

“Hee hee, Applejack.” Applebloom said, eating the plant and giggling at her sister, “The grass is really green.”

“Why yes,” Applejack said, looking at the grass and pastures and how they were really green, “Ah guess it is.”

“Eeyup!” Big Mac said laughing in his strong country accent, he threw some of the weird plant at Applebloom and she giggled, nibbling at it with hunger.

“So what is this kinda weed? Ah ain’t never seen a weed like it before.” Applejack said and gasped suddenly saying, “Did it kill all our trees?”

“Eeyup!”

Applejack felt her heart give sudden big beats, taking a step back. No that couldn’t be true… the apple trees just couldn’t be gone? This must be a dream, a prank! She shook her head desperately trying to snap herself to reality. She felt Applebloom shove some of the plant into her mouth and Applejack swallowed it down in disgust.

…but in fact… it didn’t taste half bad. She looked at it, seeing its nice leaf design and the taste that lingered on her tongue. She would half say it actually made her feel good, like cider but only faster. After a couple of seconds she sat down on the grass and said with a goofy grin,

“Ya know sumthin’, the grass is really green.”

“It’s so greeeen!” Applebloom agreed and ate up the plant but Applejack stopped her.

“This here weed… may actually come in handy… it may even give us some customers.”

“Aww!” Applebloom whined, holding as much of as she could to her chest, “But Ah want it.”

Applejack laughed and lay down on the weed, rubbing her body into it and felt it cool into her skin. Sweet Celestia, she felt good. She felt like all her cares had just vanished. Laying there she looked up to the sky and looked at the clouds and the pegasi flying around in it. She giggled in a dazed smile. Yes, this here weed was great. She nibbled on some more and felt it go right to her brain, stimulating her senses.

“Say, where’s Granny Smith?”

“Who?” Applebloom asked with a yawn, her pupils dilated to the extreme. Applejack nudged her and giggled.

“Ya know, that old pony that lives with us?”

“Ah hear ya!”

The two laughing girls looked up and saw their granny walking towards them in a quaky disjointed walk.

“And Ah’ve been trying to find the cause for this here occurrence.”

“Shhhhs!” Applejack giggled getting up and walking over to her with little laughs, “You’ll wake Big Mac.”

Granny Smith hit Applejack on the head with her hoof and gave a frown. Applejack smiled at her goofily rubbing her head,

“What was that for, Granny?” she asked with large eyes.

The green old mare just huffed.

“Didn’t Ah teach ya better not to eat stuff you ain’t never seen before?!”

“But Ah did see it,” Applejack said giggly, “And then Ah ate it!”

“You three are acting like a bunch of buffoons!”

Applejack’s eyes started to tear up a little as she plopped down on the grass and looked at her granny hurt.

“Ah was only making the best of a bad situation.” She mumbled out, rolling her hoof around the grass and Granny Smith just looked at her. The old mare shook her head and picked up some of the odd plant examining it. It was soft and leafy… like some type of herb… but the way it was making her grandchildren act made her wary of it.

“Why don’t you three go get that friend of ya’s to examine this?” she said and looked into their eyes, only to see them veiny and highly dilated.

“Sure can do, Granny!” Applejack said with a wink and clipped some the plant off with her teeth. She carried it away with little giggles to the barn to get her saddle bag and popped it in, trotting off towards town.

Granny Smith hit Applebloom and Big Mac on the heads, getting them to spit the weed out and the two silly ponies followed her back to the house.

“Howdy Twilight!” Applejack said. The effects of the plant had worn off some as she had headed into town. She stood in the library and looked at her unicorn friend with a friendly smile but her eyes still showed tell-tale signs of that happy plant.

“Hi Applejack,” Twilight said, putting her book down and coming over to her with a smile. She paused however when she saw Applejack’s eyes and the redness around them.

“Hay fever?”

“Nah, but sumthin’ strange has happened at Sweet Apple Acres.”

“What?”

“There ain’t no Apples! Just this!” She said and pulled out the plant with her mouth. Twilight looked at it inquisitively, floating it away from her with her magic and stared at it.

“It looks like some kind of weed?” Twilight said and was about to take a bite out of it but Applejack stopped her.

“Ah wouldn’t do that if Ah were you… makes you act silly,” Applejack said with a giggle. Twilight looked at her confused and bought it over to her table, placing it down and getting a magnifying glass to examine it closely.

“It seems to have these open pores… but I don’t think it’s dangerous.”

“That’s good… but what happened to all mah trees?” Applejack asked flabbergasted. Twilight came over to her slowly and looked at her with wondering eyes.

“I’d say some type of magic was used to turn your trees into this. But it’d have to be quite a powerful unicorn…”

Twilight’s eyes opened as she seemed to realize something and Applejack knew that look straight off.

“Twilight…?”

“Uh oh.”

“What did ya do?”

The purple unicorn giggled, looking around nervously but finally faced the cowpony and smiled with a wide innocent grin.

“Last night I was trying to turn an apple into this plant.” She said and pulled over the book with her magic showing the same type of leaf as the ones they had with them.

“I thought it had failed… but it must’ve turned all the apple trees at your farm into the plant.”

“Good gravy, girl!” Applejack said, “What the hay is this plant anyway?”

“Marijuana”

“Gee Wee! That’s a fancy name. I’ll just call it weed.”

“Ha ha, yeah…” Twilight said nervously and studied Applejack’s red eyes again, “Look I’ll get around to fixing this asap!”

“Don’t hurry yaself now…” Applejack said with a smile. She took the plant and chewed it hungrily, “Ah might just try and sell this plant. It sure does make me feel good!”

“Yes, Applejack, but think about this. This plant hasn’t been tested here before.”

“But me and mah folks tasted it this mornin’! It sure does make me happy.”

“I said tested.” Twilight said frustrated and Applejack chuckled,

“It’s just a little weed! Won’t do nopony no harm!”

Twilight rubbed her hoof to the bridge of her nose frustrated. She was so used to doing experiments on everything that it just didn’t feel right to start giving out this plant like it was candy.

“Look, you can sell it if you want. But I’d still be careful.” She smiled at the giggling Applejack who was looking around the room with big puffy eyes. The country mare seemed to be amused with what was happening around her and Twilight cleared her throat saying, “I’ll get around to finding a spell to reverse this in the meantime.”

“You do that, Twilight.” Applejack said giggling but her belly rumbled and she asked, licking her lips, “Say do ya have anything to eat? Ah’m hungry.”

“Err in the kitchen?” Twilight said confused and Applejack wondered her way into there. The orange pony seemed to make a big sandwich and scoff it down in seconds, rubbing her belly as she licked her lips and wondered off after that saying back to her,

“See ya later, Twi!”

Twilight just looked at her in amazement. Applejack was acting odd.

She then remembered back to why she tried to recreate this plant in the first place. It had been gone from Equestria for a thousand years. It was an extinct plant that she had read primitive ponies had worshipped but it had literally gone out of existence from over use and because apparently once it mixed with a male of its species it became useless. The plant had fascinated her so that she wanted to see what this ancient plant looked like. Now Apple Acres was literally full of it. She just hoped AJ wouldn’t go overboard and start growing it like mad. But maybe it was good to have a bit of history present in Ponyville.

But she shook her head smiling quickly. She would get to work trying to find a reversal spell.

Applejack wondered on home, a skip in her step as if she felt over the moon and she didn’t get why. Just eating some of that plant had made her feel at ease. She however did bump into a few ponies on her way home and said with a giggle,

“Don’t mind me!”

She reached her home and skipped off to her house, passing all the weed on either side of her. Though now with all the trees gone she was going to miss the shade. Plus could she and her family survive on just this plant? Sure it was tasty but it seemed to make her hungrier than full. An idea popped into her mind just as she was thinking that and she snipped a few dozen leafs of it on her passing, taking it too her house.

Big Mac and Applebloom were in the lounge room, looking lethargic and tired. Their eyes were as red as apples and Applejack smiled at the two as she came in but smashed her head into the doorframe.

“Ow!” She said rubbing her head but giggled a little as she went to the kitchen and got out her cooking ingredients. She started to make brownies, mixing the leaves into the pastry mix and Applebloom came over to her peering down and licking her lips.

“What are ya makin’?”

“Brownies.”

“Mmm…” Applebloom said salivating, “Can Ah have some?”

“No, you go have some fruit, Ah’m selling these.”

Applebloom sulked away. Applejack stirred the mix all together and poured it into the baking tray. She turned on the oven and popped it in, seemingly happy considering the circumstances. She turned on the timer for twenty minutes and waited in the kitchen, resting one of her legs on the other as she waited casually.

Granny Smith walked in with rocky steps, looking at her granddaughter with weary eyes, tired in her old age and approached her, seeming suspicious of how all her family had been underwhelmed by the disappearance of their lively hood.

“So,” she said and AJ looked at her smiling. Her green eyes were starting to clear up a little but her appetite was still fierce and she turned to her Granny waiting for her to continue, “What did that unicorn say?”

“She said that it was a spell gone wrong and she’d fix it in no time.”

“Good.” Granny Smith said and sniffed into the air as she could smell cakes baking. She grinned wide as she walked over to the oven and stared in. Applejack looked at her cheery adding,

“But Granny Smith, Ah want to try out this new crop we have here. Maybe it could get us some business.”

“Ah’d be careful with that, Applejack…  remember what Ah told ya,”

“New is always dangerous, Ah know,” Applejack said with a chuckle, her Granny was a real hoot sometime, “But what if it draws in some new business? Ah ain’t never seen this plant nowhere before. We could be on to a gold mine.”

“Well, Applejack” Granny Smith said warily but looked into the young one’s eyes with hope. She trusted Applejack with the farm more than anyone. That pony knew business like the back of her hoof and had been driving the sales for the last few years. As long as they kept up quality products, whatever they may be… well she guess she could risk it until the apples came back.

“Ah guess ya could try.”

“Yee ha!” Applejack said and waited by the oven. Smoke could be seen rising from inside and the farm pony opened it, taking out the brownies and letting them cool. She looked at her granny with a grin as she cut them up into squares and put them in a basket saying,

“Ah’m goin’ into town to sell these and test the water. Hopefully whatever comes from this is good and productive.”

Granny looked at her and nodded, but still was cautious of this investment Applejack was making in this strange weed. As the orange mare carried the basket out to the old portable stand she shouted, “Don’t forget to buy us some groceries!”

“Ah won’t!” Applejack said merrily and put the carriage over her shoulders. She had placed the basket into the stall and trotted on into town. She was sweating a bit as she reached the towns square and set up stand. She bucked the stall open and put the basket on display, estimating the usual cost for a cake and fixed the price in her mind. Her eyes had cleared up considerably but she still felt quite relaxed. This felt more like a day off than a working day. Her stomach rumbled and she was tempted to take a quick nibble of a brownie to humble it but lucky for her Fluttershy approached with big curious eyes.

“H-hello… Applejack,” Fluttershy said nervously looking at her from behind her mane. Applejack nodded and the pony looked at the new product blinking her eyes innocently as she asked,

“What… what is this?”

“Mah weed brownies.”

“Weed brownies?”

“Yep.”

Fluttershy looked at her shyly. She eyed one of them and asked with a weak mumble,

“Are they nice?”

“Delicious!” Applejack said. She hadn’t had one yet herself but she knew that if she made them, they would be.

“I’ll buy one…” Fluttershy said with a small smile and Applejack put one in a small box with a ribbon. She handed it to Fluttershy and the pegasus packed it into her saddle bag. She smiled kindly, looking at her friend with round eyes as she said, “I’ll eat it with a cup of tea.”

“Whatever suits ya.” Applejack said. Fluttershy jumped suddenly as a pink pony bounced right up to them and her mouth fell open looking at the treats.

“Brownies! I love brownies!” Pinkie said and threw her money at Applejack, the pony tripping over as she tried to catch them. Applejack hit the ground in a slam and frowned as she picked up the bits with her teeth. Once she looked back up to her friend she had seen that Pinkie had bought four, leaving only five brownies left.

Pinkie shoved them down in fierce hunger licking her lips in glee as she said, “That’s good eating!”

“Did they taste nice?” Applejack asked curious and Pinkie nodded her head saying.

“Yeah… wow…” she said after a moment. She looked around slowly as just gave a big giggle, “They… they taste really good.”

“How good?”

“Like... a lot!” Pinkie said but giggled as she felt her body slowly build in euphoria, “Wow, everything here is so wicked!” She looked at Applejack slowly saying, “What are you looking out? Do I have something on my face?”

Applejack blinked surprised. She looked at Pinkie confused as the pink pony looked around herself nervously. Her eyes looked back at Applejack, pupils dilated as she said,

“What is it?”

“Nuthin… are ya feeling alright Pinkie?”

“Why do you think I’m not alright?” Pinkie asked questioningly, looking at her with suspicious eyes. Applejack looked at her lost, seeming not to understand why Pinkie was acting so paranoid and simply said.

“No, ya seem… fine.”

“Good, because I am.” Pinkie said heatedly and then just smiled saying, “Well see ya!”

She bounced off but tripped over her own hoofs and hit the ground giggling. But then paused as she glared around her at any pony who dared catch her eyes.

“WHAT!” She yelled, getting up and throwing daggers with her eyes, “Haven’t you ever seen a pony TRIP before!” she smiled quickly after and went on her way. Applejack and Fluttershy looked at each other confused before the yellow pegasus peaked out.

“I think Pinkie… is…”

“Being Pinkie?” Applejack asked confused and the pegasus nodded slowly. Applejack thought her friend was acting kind of strange but shook it off. She wasn’t going to let it bother her.

She got back to looking after her sales, and hung out around the stand for only a few more minutes before she sold the last batch to four other ponies.

Applejack wiped her forehead tired and hot from the warm weather over them. Today had been a strange day but seeing how she was able to sell all her treats in ten minutes flat, she knew it was a successful one.

After she had gone shopping for groceries she packed up her stand and began heading back to her farm. A smile was pasted on her lips as she strolled through the country side. It was strange seeing open fields full of the marijuana plant but if it failed in sales she could just return it back to apples. Though the absence of apples itself did make her feel sad and as she arrived home she filled out an order for some new trees. She sent it off in the mail box and put the stall in the barn. As she entered into the house she came across quite a mess in the kitchen and frowned seeing all the food had been eating.

“What in the hay?” she asked annoyed seeing all the fruit in the pantry had been swallowed. She placed the groceries down on the kitchen table and came over to Applebloom and Big Mac who wore rubbing their full stomach in the lounge room.

“You two ate a whole week’s supply of groceries?” Applejack asked annoyed and Big Mac nodded his head saying with a giggle.

“Eeyup!”

“Could ya blame me, sis?” Applebloom said so bloated and looked over to her with sad eyes, “You took the brownies and left!”

“Yeah, because we run a business?” Applejack said annoyed but shook her money sack around her neck with a smile as she added, “But Ah earned over thirty bits today so that plant is a keeper!”

“Good!” Applebloom said with a smile. She got up but felt so full she could vomit and said, “Urgh… Ah think Ah ate too much.”

“Ya tellin’ me.” Applejack said with a roll of her eyes. She looked at her siblings with a frown and decided to lay down some rules, “Okay you two, here’s the rules. No eatin’ the crop constantly all day long. We gotta make an income till our apples come back.”

“But it makes me feel so good!” Applebloom said with a sulk. Applejack gave her a frown and her little sister sighed saying downbeat.

“Fine.”

“Eeyup.” Big Mac said also with little enthusiasm and Applejack nodded her head proud at how her family always pulled together.

“Good. And if this crop does seem to please the crowd than Ah’ll only get Twilight to turn half the marijuana plants back into apple trees. Keep our market spreadin’ to more consumers.”

“Ah’ll say that fillies at school would love this.” Applebloom said with a smile, “We could hold baking sales.”

“Darn tootin’.” Applejack said with a grin. She beamed at her two siblings and headed into the kitchen to pack away the groceries. She put the fruit into the pantry along with the veg and put all the baking ingredients into the cupboards. She could feel eyes digging into her skin and turned around looking at her granny with a concerned look.

“Granny, Ah know that it ain’t apples but it’s all we got right now.”

Granny Smith sighed and looked at Applejack with worried eyes,

“Ah know, Applejack… Ah guess Ah’m just stuck in mah ways.”

“We’ll have the apples back in no time, Granny.” Applejack said with a smile coming over and putting her hoof over her elderly family member with hope. Applejack knew from a very young age to make the most of a bad situation and she’d do the same with this.

But she could understand her grandma’s concern. She knew this was different and it could totally backfire but within a few days when Twilight had got the reversal spell working they’d see how they had profited or not and whether to continue.

The grass after all was really green.