The Life I Once Had

Luna entered the castle through one of the side courtyards. The courtyard was a large circle with an outer walkway that was covered over by an archway. At the center of the courtyard was a large circular, wooden platform that rose up a few feet from the ground. Luna stood staring at the old frozen platform.

* * * *

"Dear Tia:

It has been three months since the coronation, and might I say that Winter Solsticeis prospering rather well. Not only have we expanded our walls, but we have even started a school of magic here at the castle. You might find that odd, considering that many of the unicorns in Winter Solsticeare brewmasters and love having drinks with their friends at the many taverns in the kingdom; however, to my surprise, there are many who want to study more about arcane and magic than brewmaking.

Even though things are going well, I must confess that I am feeling...strange; I think part of it has something to do with the fact that we don't see much of each other anymore. I know you said that we would visit each other often, but I've noticed that we have been writing each other more than we've been seeing each other. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I miss you my dear sister; a lot.

Enclosed with this letter is a package that has Princess Galaxia inside. I believe it is your turn to take care of her for now. I was looking forward to giving her to you in person, but I suppose that will have to wait for another time. I hope we will be together again the next time you give her to me.

Your sister, Princess Luna."

Luna was sitting on the outer walkway with a guard, reading over the letter. After she was satisfied with what it said, she folded the letter, put it in a sealed envelope, and gave it to the guard.

"Can you please send this to Celestia right away?" she asked the guard.

The guard nodded and then walked towards the castle through the crowd of students that were enjoying the afternoon sun in the courtyard.

Luna looked around at the students and couldn't help but smile. There were some students who were sitting along the walkway enjoying the view of the landscape, however most were in the courtyard practicing different spells, studying for an exam or just simply talking to each other. Luna started to make her way towards the castle when she heard a young voice call up to her.

"Excuse me, Princess Luna?"

Luna looked down to see a young unicorn filly looking up at her with nervous eyes.

"Yes little one, can I help you?"

"Well...my name is Moonshine, and I just learned how to levitate items...would it be ok if I showed you?"

"Absolutely! You may begin whenever you're ready," Luna said with a smile.

Moonshine took a few steps back, pulled out a quill from her saddlebag with her mouth, and set it between her and Luna. She took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes tight; her horn glowed on and off as she tried harder and harder to levitate the quill. A couple of students gathered around them and watched. Try as she might, she couldn't levitate the quill. It was then that Luna noticed something about the filly; Moonshine's horn glowed with the same colored aura as hers.

Luna tilted her head so that Moonshine couldn't see her horn; just as she was about to give up, Luna activated her magic and slowly levitated the quill. The expression on Moonshine's face was priceless; a few of the students around them smiled and giggled as they saw Moonshine's eyes shine with excitement. After a few seconds, Luna lowered the quill and looked down at the still awestruck filly.

"I...I did it..."

"Great job Moonshine! But I want you to keep practicing ok?"

"O-ok Luna, I certainly will!"

Moonshine turned and disappeared into the crowd, forgetting all about her quill. Luna smiled and once again, started to head towards the castle; however, she was interrupted by a horn being blown that caused everypony to turn towards the large wooden platform.

On top of the platform stood the headmaster of the school; the famous Starswirl the Bearded. While everypony had crowded around the platform, Luna stayed near the back of the crowd where she could get a better view. All of the students were cheering and chanting "Duel! Duel! Duel!" until Starswirl held out his foreleg and motioned for everypony to quiet down.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts, a student from the House of Talonclaw has challenged another student from the House of Willowwood to a magic duel! Standard rules apply; first one to knock their opponent off of the platform is the winner!" Starswirl then turned to the two students.

"Remember, non-lethal spells only," the two nodded in compliance.

Starswirl stepped off of the stage as the two duelists took defensive stances. Nopony made a sound for several minutes as the two duelists waited for the other to make a move. Without warning, the student from Willowwood shot a beam of white energy; the student from Talonclaw retaliated by shooting a beam of red energy. The two beams met in the center of the arena and flashed with an incredible light.

* * * *

Luna put her hoof on the platform and pressed down; the wood started to groan and crack under the small pressure. Deciding to not take the risk of falling through, she brought her hoof back to the ground. She then turned and headed to the walkway; she tried to look out and enjoy the view, but a small snow storm had moved itself over the castle, which prevented her from looking over the landscape. After a few minutes of waiting for the storm to die down, Luna gave up and headed towards the castle.

With a lot of effort, Luna was able to push the door open. The worn-out hinges grinded against each other, which released a sharp high pitched moan that made Luna flatten her ears against her head. She pushed the door open no farther than she had to and stepped inside. Inside was slightly warmer than the outside thanks to the thick stone walls blocking the wind. It was also very dark.

Luna's horn glowed with a blue aura, then a few seconds later, a torch and a lighter appeared floating next to her. After a few clicks from the lighter, the torch caught fire. She levitated the torch far enough from her so that she could see ahead, but close enough so that she could feel its embracing warmth. Luna started walking farther into the castle, but stopped after a few steps and turned towards the door.

Luna looked at her cloak, made a clicking noise with her mouth, and motioned her head towards the door. Instantly, her cloak began to wave as if a breeze was rushing through it; a split second later, it started to break off into little sections and morph into bats. The bats flew around Luna with small high pitched screeches, then flew towards the door and out of the castle. The warmth of the torch was now able to hit every part of Luna's body, giving her a much needed break from the cold. After all of the bats had flown out, she turned and once again began her journey through the castle.

* * * *

It had been seven months since Luna's coronation. Both her and Celestia had grown older and many changes had occurred, but probably the biggest change had been with Celestia. She had become more powerful, as indicated by her mane and tail changing from being a solid pink to a light fluorescent  "rainbow" like color. The entirety of Equestria celebrated this momentous occasion.

Luna, on the other hoof, had yet to ascend to such a powerful state which  made her feel discouraged. Yes, she was happy for older sister, but at the same time, she also felt jealous of her. Luna was trying as hard as she could to be like her sister, but it was never enough. As the months went on, Celestia's image seemed to grow bigger leaving Luna in a cold, lonely shadow. Hopefully, with tonight's special event, she could get some advice from a good friend.

Luna quickly made her way to Starswirl's chambers. Her duties as princess had forced her to be a few minutes late for Starswirl's retirement party, but as she approached his chamber doors she could still hear plenty of laughter and talking coming from the other side. She pushed the door open.

The room was crowded with many ponies, mainly students from the school, and was decorated with streamers, and banners that said "We'll miss you!" and "Farewell Headmaster!" As Luna entered, the ponies around the entrance immediately bowed; Luna nodded and the ponies resumed their conversations. Luna looked around and saw Starswirl sitting in a corner talking to some stallions. She started making her way to him.

Being a princess, Luna didn't have too much difficulty getting to Starswirl; all of the ponies made a hole for her to get through. As she got closer, she could hear him giving the stallions his "what-every-colt-needs-to-hear-before-becoming-a-stallion" speech.

"Excuse me," Luna spoke, "may I interrupt?"

"Luna!" Starswirl said happily. "No interruption at all my dear. I was just finishing up." He then turned to the group of stallions. "Remember this final lesson and you'll do good when you're out in the real world."

The group slowly nodded, obviously deep in thought. They were so concentrated on their thoughts, they completely forgot about Luna who was standing right next to them. Luna let it go though; it's not as if they were doing anything wrong, they were just thinking about their future. Starswirl turned back to Luna as the last stallion walked away.

"How can I help you my dear?"

'My dear,' those words made Luna's mind started to drift.

Starswirl was probably the only pony in all of Winter Solstice-no-in all of Equestria who referred to Luna as 'my dear' and probably the only pony who could get away with it. Something about the way he said that phrase made him seem very grandfatherly. It was strange though; despite him being very knowledgeable and kind, he didn't have very many friends. In fact, during the many years Luna had known Starswirl, she would always find him either in the library working on a spell or in his chambers...working on a spell.

"Luna? Are you alright?" Starswirl said as he waved his hoof in front of Luna's face.

Luna blinked a few times as her mind came back, "oh yes, I'm fine. Um...I was wondering if I could talk with you about something."

"Well sure! What would you like-" Starswirl started but was interrupted by a maid carrying a platter with two mugs filled with ale.

"Would you two like a drink?" she asked cheerfully.

"Oooo don't mind if I do," Starswirl said as he grabbed one of the mugs.

Luna looked down at the drink in front of her. She never considered herself a big drinker but, on occasion, she would have a mug or two with some of her subjects at the popular Taverns throughout the town. She would also share a few drinks with Starswirl during big celebrations. It was enough to have a good time, but not enough to get drunk. Tonight though, Luna didn't feel like drinking; she just wanted to talk and the ale would've gotten in the way of that. However, not wanting to be rude, she grabbed the other mug and thanked the maid, who bowed with a smile and walked away to serve the other ponies in the crowd.

"What say we go somewhere quieter?" Starswirl asked.

Luna nodded in agreement.

The two made their way out of the room and onto a balcony overlooking part of the town. Starswirl shut the door after Luna exited, which blocked most of the noise coming from the room. Luna walked over to the edge, set her mug of ale on the railing, and sat down; Starswirl joined her a few seconds later.

"Now my dear," -Starswirl took a sip of his ale- "what is on your mind?"

Luna sighed, "I don't know. I've been feeling 'off' for a while and I'm not sure why."

"What do you mean by 'off'? Can you try and describe what you are feeling?"

"Umm...I guess...sadness, restlessness, uneasiness...um...I also feel bitterness."

"I see," Starswirl put his hoof up to his chin as he thought. "When was the last time you spent any time with Celestia?"

"Well as you know, she did visit two weeks ago; we had dinner together along with a few others."

"Did you feel better then?"

"A little, I mean, enough to where I was able to actually smile" -Luna thought for a moment- "I think I see where you are going with this.

"Oh?" Starswirl said as he lifted an eyebrow.

"I do miss my sister terribly. She promised me that me being here wouldn't separate us; that she would visit often and help me when I need her but...she rarely visits and...I ask for help in my letters, mainly about my feelings, but all I get is reassurance that I can handle this. Do you think that is it? Am I just simply missing my sister?"

"I think that is a major part of the issue. Is there something more?"

"There is; for the past few months, I have been asking myself: 'Why am I feeling this way? Why do I get upset when I am looking over the city at night and when I am walking around during the day?' I'm really close to the answer, I know I am. I feel as though it is staring me in the face, but I can't see it. It is so frustrating Starswirl! To know you are on the verge of discovery, but a simple answer blocks your path! What do you think?"

Starswirl thought for a moment before he replied, "I think, sometime soon, you need to take a break. Go visit your sister in Canterlot for a while and rekindle the fire you two once had. As for the question you've been asking yourself, I would be very cautious about finding out the answer; as sometimes the answer to those kind of questions are too much to handle on your own."

" 'On your own' huh?" Luna said with a small smile. "You want me to talk to my sister about this when I visit her, don't you?"

"What do you think?" Starswirl said with a wink. "You can't keep these emotions bottled up inside."

Luna looked out over the town, "I will think about what you have said."

Starswirl nodded and took another sip of his ale. After a few minutes of silence, he stood up.

"Well Luna," he said, "I think it's about time to leave."

"You're leaving? What about your party?"

"I was never really one for parties. Let them celebrate till their heart's content."

"Where are you going?"

"I have some..." -Starswirl took a quite glance at Luna "work that I have to do."

"Again?" Luna asked with a disappointed tone.

Starswirl nodded.

"Alright then, fair well my friend."

"Fair well my dear!" With that said, Starswirl took a few steps back as his horn started glowing. After a few seconds, he teleported away with a bright flash.

Luna was left alone with her thoughts.

"Take a break...you mean take a vacation. I don't need a vacation and I don't want to talk to Tia right now. If Tia behaves anything like she has been in her letters, shes just going to give me a lecture. Thanks for all the 'help' Starswirl,"

"No, what I really need is to know exactly why I am feeling this way. Why do I get upset when I walk around the city during the daytime and see everypony going about their lives; why I feel inadequate after I raise the moon and look over the city. Why do I feel....feel...wait a minute."

Luna perked up and leaned over the rail as she looked over the merchant section of the city. She noticed that everypony had closed their shops for the night; everypony was inside their homes for the night; everypony was asleep for the night! Luna stood with her mouth slightly hung open in disbelief.

"Everyponysleeps through my beautiful night...they relish in the day and shun the night. Why? Do...do they like Celestia more than me? If so, what did I do? Am I not doing a good enough job? Am I doing something wrong? Maybe its something that I'm notdoing? So many questions...I need to see something..."

Without another thought, Luna quickly stood up and turned, knocking her now cold mug of ale off the rail and sending it falling down towards the snow covered ground.

Luna quickly made her way through the crowd of cheerful ponies and towards her room.

* * * *

Luna approached her old room; the doors had long since fallen off of their hinges. Luna stepped in and looked around, letting the torch lead her eyes. Most of the room was empty, save for some tattered drapes barely hanging onto the window and some frozen logs spilt from the fireplace. The only piece of furniture in the room was a lone nightstand with a cracked mirror.

As she walked towards the mirror, she sniffed the air which caused her nose to cringe. The stench of burning arcane could still be smelt lingering in the air. Luna looked down at the floor a few feet from the mirror; burn marks could be seen staining the floor. She lifted her hoof and gently set it on one of the burn marks. As she put her hoof down, she let out a small gasp; even after thousands of years, the black stained floor was still warm to the touch. Luna looked up to the mirror at her multiple reflections.

"Did I really have thatmuch anger inside me?" She thought.

* * * *

Luna paced about her room ripping through books of recent events and dropping them on the floor with a grunt of frustration when she didn't find what she was looking for.

After a while, Luna stopped and stared at her mirror on her nightstand.

"I...I can't believe it," she said to herself. "Every piece of record...every kind of special event that has happened throughout Equestria...all credit has gone to Celestia. I am hardly mentioned anywhere and when I do get mentioned, I only get referred to as 'Celestia's Sister'."

"Is this how I am going to be remembered? As 'Celestia's Sister'?"

Luna's confusion turned to anger.

"This is because she is more powerful than me isn't it? I mean everypony notices everything she does and celebrates over her smallest accomplishment, however I hardly get noticed for anything I do; especially when it comes to my nights! Everypony enjoys her day, but then they sleep through my night! Everypony thinks I can't handle this; that I will never be as powerful as my sister. She is always several steps ahead of me; she always has to be the first to do everything. It's as if nothing I do is good enough!"

Luna stopped for a few minutes to catch her breath.

"It's. not.  FAIR!" Luna suddenly shouted; she let her anger get the better of her as she punched her mirror; the mirror cracked from the sudden impact. While she was panting and staring at her many reflections, her pupils shrank as something in her snapped. Her horn started glowing as she back away from the mirror.

Luna's heart rate quickened and she started to breath faster as her horn glowed brighter. Suddenly, she lowered her head and shouted at the top of her lungs, immediately being surrounded by a tornado of arcane energy. Luna gritted her teeth as her body began to grow and change: her blue coat slowly turned a midnight black, her hair went from being light blue to a dark, starry night, her voice changed to a lower tone and her teeth became longer and sharper. Light blue armor appeared on each of her hooves, her chest and her head. She started to chuckle, then lifted her head and started to laugh maniacally as her body started to rise in the updraft of the funnel.

Just as suddenly as it began, the arcane "tornado" vanished; leaving only a smoking, glowing blue circle around the Alicorn, who fell to the floor radiating with smoking arcane. Her entire body was shaking and tensing up as she had several, violent dry heaves. She was finally able to gasp for breath when the dry heaves had passed but was unable to move as every muscle in her body was cramping. Eventually, with hooves shaking and legs wobbling, she was able to stand. She slowly stood up and opened her eyes; her pupils had changed to being very animal-like; almost like that of a dragon.

While slowly breathing in and out, she looked at her cracked reflections for several minutes before a wide, malicious smile slowly overtook her mouth.

"I think it's time for our dear sister to pay us a visit..." she then grabbed a parchment and a quill, and began to write.

"Dear Celestia:

Please come see me right away. There is something I need you to see.

-Your Sister"