1.1 In The Beginning
My cocoon tightens, colors tease,
I'm feeling for the air;
A dim capacity for wings
Degrades the dress I wear.
A power of butterfly must be
The aptitude to fly,
Meadows of majesty concedes
And easy sweeps of sky.
So I must baffle at the hint
And cipher at the sign,
And make much blunder, if at last
I take the clew divine.
-Emily Dickinson (Time and Eternity, Poem 6: From the Chrysalis)
Lillith slowly opened one green eye, then the other. She rolled over and gave a slight groan into her pillow as she contemplated if it was worth getting up this evening. She knew she needed to try to make it into Dragonfly Village today, if only to acquire her latest list of gardening supplies and groceries.
If the ponies will even give me the time of day...
Lillith knew the moment she reached town many merchants would suddenly decide that it was time to close and go home. One or two might stay open if she had her large list rolled out, not for love of her but love of the coin she would spend. They also knew they could mark up anything she bought because her options in vendors was somewhat limited.
Lillith shoved her muzzle into her soft Griffin-down pillow and made a frustrated sound. She knew it was time to get up if she had any hopes of making it to the market. Maybe more vendors would stay open for her this time.
Right. Maybe I'll grow a lovely horn to match my wings too.
With a heavy sigh and a few choice words that she would never mutter in polite company she pushed
herself off her bed and into her water room. Tonight would not be a good night.
After her shower Lillith started to slowly brush out her straight, long mane. She considered her reflection in the mirror. Her almost perfectly white coat was enviable by most standards, if a bit difficult to keep clean. Her green eyes were clear with a feminine arch and long natural eyelashes.
Her mane and tail were a lovely shade of teal with very fine lines of sea green. Her Flutterpony wings were a faint white, with a swirling look to them similar to a fine pearl. She was a lovely pony by most standards. Soft, feminine, lovely really. Her eyes fell to her cutie mark and she made a sad sigh.
No, her looks were not what caused the Flutterponies of Dragonfly to avoid her. It was the dark purple flower and berries on her flank. She remembered the day that flower had appeared, how delighted she was to know her purpose. At last she had her cutie mark! Her joy was short lived as she told people what the flower meant to her.
Lillith was very talented with the Nightshade flower and it's berries. She could make them grow like no other pony could. She could make tonics, medicines, teas, and all kinds of things from this plant that were of great value. But the ponies of her village didn't understand this, all they saw was the poisonous plant that every young foal is encouraged to avoid. Lillith had not listened to her teachers when they had told her to avoid the plant and it's deadly berries.
She had harvested some of the wild plant and brewed up a simple potion and much to her parents horror, she drank it. She didn't die but it did cure the cough she had at the time. So she started to experiment with this unusual flower, not understanding the looks given to her parents. When her cutie mark appeared she knew this was what she was meant to do. She just didn't know it meant never having friends again. One by one her foalhood chums stopped speaking to her, many making a obvious effort to avoid her. Finally, having had enough she cornered a former friend and demanded an answer.
Her friends thought she was a freak. To be able to drink something that was 'poisonous' wasn't natural, wasn't normal. She had to be different, had to be possessed or maybe not even a real pony. Nopony should be able to drink that, much less like it.
So Lillith learned the hard truth the hard way. She was an outcast, rejected and avoided for the cutie mark and flower she loved so much.
Enough. The past is the past. I need my supplies more than I need to mope about things I can never change. Time to go.
With resolve she ran her brush through her mane one last time, grabbed her packs, and set off for the market and the ponies of Dragonfly Village.
It was evening by the time Lillith made it into town but several merchants were still there. Many closed up as soon as she came into sight but a couple stayed open, their eyes reflecting their suspicion as well as their greed.
She was able to get her supplies, though at a much higher rate than any other pony would or should be charged. Lillith was used to this but it never ceased to irritate her. After her last stop to grab some groceries she made her way back to her cottage.
Money was never the problem, she always had plenty of bits. Her parents had been very wealthy and liked. When they had passed away they had left her the summer cottage on the hill as well as her childhood home and a substantial amount of coin. The home in town brought back too many memories of her parents as well as the scorn from her classmates so she had sold it at a very good price, further increasing her savings. She lived in the small cottage outside of town, where she would not be bothered and could keep to her own schedule.
She lived modestly, had no special somepony, foals, or pets. She rarely spent bits on anything but supplies and her flowers therefore she still had a small fortune to work through before she would ever be in financial trouble. No, money was never the problem.
It's the way they treat me. The way they look down their noses at me, the way they think they're better than me. What makes a rose so wonderful? Or a lily? The way they shine in Celestia's sun?
My nightshades look just as lovely in Luna's moon, if not more beautiful!
Lillith shook herself. No need to get worked up over something that would never change. They were set in their ways just as she was in hers. Let them be stuck up, why should she care? Their opinion meant nothing to her. She could only be who she was. With a decisive nod Lillith made her way back to her little cottage, her garden, and her life.
Author's Note
Edit: I've decided the next chapter will be a bit more back story, just to give everyone a feel for Lillith.
The first few chapters won't be very gory but later chapters are going to be graphic, so I'm giving you fair warning now.
Will update as I can :)
The half moon shows a face of plaintive sweetness
Ready and poised to wax or wane;
A fire of pale desire in incompleteness,
Tending to pleasure or to pain:
Lo, while we gaze she rolleth on in fleetness
To perfect loss or perfect gain.
Half bitterness we know, we know half sweetness;
This world is all on wax, on wane:
When shall completeness round time's incompleteness,
Fulfilling joy, fulfilling pain?
Lo, while we ask, life rolleth on in fleetness
To finished loss or finished gain.
-Christina Rossetti (A Face of Plaintive Sweetness)
Lillith arrived at her cottage and home around nightfall. She stared up at the glowing orb looking down upon her. Since the ponies of Dragonfly had turned their back upon her the moon and it's sky had been her one companion, the stars her only confidants. She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath through her nose and smelled the welcoming scents around her cottage.
The heavy scent of freshly toiled soil and fertilizer. The faint electric smell of a rainstorm brewing on the wind. The trees added themselves to the overall aroma to create a scent that had no name other than 'home.' But under it all was the scent she loved the most, that of her precious flowers and their berries. Her personal flower, the Nightshade with it's soft, almost sickly sweetness floating on the air. The Belladonna with it's acrid bitterness that to any other pony would be distasteful, but to Lillith it made her think of dark nights under the moonlight tilling with her hooves buried in soil.
Lillith's ears flicked forward when an owl hooted in a nearby tree. She could hear smaller critters running along the forest floor as they scrambled to get home before the larger predators came out. Fainter still were the sounds of Dragonfly Village as it's occupants made their way home and to bed.
Dragonfly Village was an almost strictly Flutterpony village. Flutterponies were an oddity in pony breeds. Like Earth ponies Flutterponies had extremely dexterous hooves, like the Pegasus they had wings although their wings were thin like a dragonfly and would not carry them far. Like Unicorns they could sense magic but Flutterponies could not control it.
They could not coerce magical energy to do as they bid it but they could nudge it like a mare nudging her newborn foal to walk. They could help a plant grow, help the sick, calm animals. “Empathetic Magics” some pony a while back had called it, someone or another 'The Bearded.'
Lillith had no talent with animals or other ponies but she excelled in making her plants grow. She quickly turned them into tonics, teas, and other things before their precious petals and berries could spoil. She didn't sell much but she could occasionally trade with a passing Griffin. It wasn't a regular source of income but it made her happy to think that her work wasn't going to waste.
I just wish somepony would pass this way more often. I'm almost out of room in my workroom.
Taking in one last deep breath, letting the scents envelope her as she listened to the sounds of the night that surrounded her. With a contended sigh she went up to her door and went inside.
Steam rolled over the edges of her soup pot as she added a few more vegetables to her stew. A little celery, some crystal corn, a tomato and some flour to thicken it up. Lunch would take a while to brew and after Lillith had a bowl she would keep the pot warm for dinner. Because of her different schedule her breakfasts were usually in the evening, the lunches just after the moonrise, and her dinners before dawn could stretch over the hills. This among many things made it hard for her to be among the ponies but it suited her well. The best time for her to work on her plants was under the moonlight and she wouldn't trade her flowers for a thousand friends and their sun based schedules.
Besides. Celestia's sun is over rated. How many ponies really appreciate Luna's night?
She added a pepper to her boiling mixture. It looked like it would be a chilly night and Lillith would need the warmth when she worked in the garden. Turning away from the pot she checked the miniature pies baking in her oven. On her previous trip to town she had been unable to acquire cherries and she was anxious to taste one of her favorite fruits again. A faint smile crept at the corners of her eyes as she remembered scampering around her mother's legs trying to see just what her mother put into the oh-so-delicious pies. Her mother's smile as she told her,
“Just cherries and love, my little pony. Just cherries and love. Everything is better with love.”
She would nuzzle her mother's side and sit happily awaiting the cherry 'love' pies. Her mother making a joke and Lillith laughing and giggling like a young, happy, filly should. Lillith shook her head.
Love. If I lived from love alone I'd starve to death.
Closing her eyes she forced herself to breath steadily to control the tide of emotion threatening to drown her in the pain of her parents deaths. It had been years but even now remembering how happy they had been together dug into a still healing wound on her heart. Once she felt she was no longer in danger of falling to the ground and weeping like a foal she opened her eyes and steadily looked around her kitchen.
No, nothing will ever be like that again.
Turning back to her stew she tried to focus on something, anything, to keep her memories from haunting and tormenting her mind while the occasional tear added it's salt to her cooking.
Her lunch devoured and her cherry pie savored with bittersweet thoughts she cleaned her kitchen before heading to her garden. Her parents had insisted on indoor plumbing for both their homes, an expensive fixture but one they felt marked civilized homes. Lillith was forever grateful that she would never have to haul water from a stream that would no doubt have many ponies mulling around the edges, chatting with their neighbors as they gathered their own water.
Dishes done and dinner brewing she gathered her supplies and went out to her garden. The night air slapped her in the face and she drew in a breath. There was something different on the wind, something she couldn't quite identify but definitely something she had not felt in all the nights she had spent in her garden. Nothing horribly concerning but she made a mental note to keep an eye out in case a new predator had decided to make her woods their new home.
Lillith made her way to her kitchen garden and began her work on her vegetables and herbs. With the merchants in town always overcharging her she had begged the last passing Griffin to get her seeds in another town and bring them back to her. After offering an obscene amount of bits the Griffin had agreed and returned within a week with a large sack of various seeds. Now she began the process of planting them and would with a little luck be able to reduce her trips into Dragonfly even further.
Throwing herself into her gardening as she dug her hooves into the soil. Nothing made her happier than to put hours into her garden, digging fine rows of all her plants. Plants covered all of her land, whether is was this newer garden for food or her flower gardens, plants were everywhere. She grew flowers under each window while others hung above in suspended pots.
Having finished planting her new seeds she moved to the flower beds. She carefully checked and tended to each flower, thoughtfully going over their leaves and petals looking for any signs of sickness. She was always careful, not only for her precious flowers but also for herself. While she knew what potential her flowers had she also knew that in their barest forms they could be dangerous if she did not take caution with them. If she were to somehow poison herself by one of her little flowers she knew no one would notice, possibly for months. Her flowers would then most likely be dug up and burned, while everypony made comments of how they had warned her away from those deadly flowers.
I'll be careful. I wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction of finding me dead.
She harvested a few flowers, a few berries, and when she had determined she had checked every single plant in her garden she looked up and discovered she had been working for quite some time. If the moon was correct it was not even 3 hours till dawn. Lillith grabbed her basket and headed inside to wash up. Having a white coat was not beneficial to her gardening but there was little she could do about it except scrub when she needed it.
Inside and freshly cleaned she decided her harvest could wait for a little bit so that she could have her dinner. Another round of stew, a cucumber salad, and another cherry pie down she made her way to the workroom centered at the back of her cottage. Carefully handling the petals and berries she had collected she made a few tonics that no doubt would sit on her shelves for months before the chance Griffin would pass. Still, she enjoyed her work and contentedly set about it.
Pausing for a brief moment while some petals seeped in a special liquid mixture, Lillith looked out her small workroom window to gaze at the moon. The beauty of it never ceased, the brilliant orb of light that Lillith looked to so often. Under it's gaze she had toiled in her garden, she had cooked her meals, she had shed tears for parents she had lost too soon in her young life. She had sobbed to the stars the injustices of life, of her loneliness, of her troubles. She never got a reply nor did she expect one. Just knowing they were there to listen to her when she needed them was enough.
As she stared out the window taking in the beauty of the night Lillith saw movement in the woods. Remembering that strange sense from before she focused her eyes on the movement, curious but not yet afraid. What she saw surprised her. Five pitch black ponies with wings that must have been damaged in the woods were slowly making their way towards Dragonfly Village.
They looked to be Flutterponies, too small to be adults but too large to be foals. Their wings looked shredded and there were shadows on their bodies where Lillith guessed might be scrapes and wounds. For all that they appeared to be gravely hurt they neither limped nor slowed, going at the same steady and stealthy pace towards the village. Lillith blew out her candle and closed her eyes to better adjust to the dark. When she opened her eyes they had moved closer to her cottage and she could see them much more clearly.
Definitely Flutterpony wings, no feathers so they're not Pegasi. They're wings look horrible, what kind of accident could have caused all of that shredding? Wait. Is that...? Is that a horn?!
Upon closer inspection Lillith confirmed that the ponies so slowly making their way through her back yard did indeed have wings and a horn. Their eyes glowed in the dim light like those of a cat but she could not make out details as to color or shape. But it was what she saw just under those eyes that made her blood turn cold.
Are those fangs?
Author's Note
Update! I figured another back story chapter was in order to give you a feel for Lillith.
Enjoy! I hope to get another chapter knocked sometime this week. I even made a playlist for this story :D
Note: The Nightshade mentioned isn't a real life plant, I just didn't want to limit myself to one nightshade flower so her flower is just a unique Equestria Nightshade and it looks like the one on her rump. For reference look at the picture for the story, I drew her to get a better feel for the character.
