Caught In A Fanfic

by That Awkward Feeling You've Forgotten Something Important

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Human
Length: 553

Guy finds himself stranded in a HiE fanfic, and he can hear the narrator. It's a horrible narrator.

The name's Guy.

You know, I kinda liked it back on Earth. Sure, there wasn't any magic, and people couldn't find it in them to settle their differences, but there's something in Equestria that's worse than anything I could've imagined.

A bad author.

That's right, I'm fully aware I'm in a fic. I can hear the narration as it happens. I can sense when a character's acting out of… well, character. I can tell I'll become a horrible Marty Stu. And I know the plot's going to be one cliche after another.

So let's try and change that, shall we?

Hopefully the author's will breaks before mine…

[Character tags added as they appear.]

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-17 08:34:01 UTC

Intro: No Clue What's Going On

A blank white void stretched as far as the eye could see. There was nothing above, below, or in any direction. Time did not run there, people did not live there. It merely washed over itself with the comforting symphony of silence.

One moment, however, something did exist there. It wasn’t very happy about it.

“You’re damn right I’m not happy about it!”

Of course, in order to progress with the story, it decided to give us some backstory.

“No I didn’t! Where the hell am I?”

It decided to give us some backstory.

“That’s not an answer!”

It decided to give us some backstory.

“That’s not gonna-”

IT DECIDED TO GIVE US SOME BACKSTORY.

“Fine! Alright! I’ll play your game for now... where to start... um... well, I’m not an ‘it’, for one. I’m a ‘he’. Male. Um... male human, if that needs clarification. My name’s, um... well, I don’t trust you all, so... just call me ‘Guy’. That’ll work for now.”

The unimaginatively-named Guy realized that he needed to provide a physical description of himself.

“No need to be so passive-aggressive about it. I’m, um, a bit under six feet tall. Kinda skinny, compared to other humans. Four limbs: two arms and two legs, ending in hands and feet, respectively.. Five fingers on each hand, five toes on each foot. Um... shaggy, blond hair, on top of my head. Long bangs, they cover my eyes. My eyes... they’re sort of a muted, brownish hazel, I guess... Why is this important, exactly? Why the hell am I here?”

He had an idea: maybe describing the events of his life would point to why he was here.

“There you are, with the passive-aggression. Well... I had a nice life, all seventeen years so far. Tried my best to be nice. Everyone told me I was smart, but it’s damn obvious I’m an idiot. Have my parents, they care for me, and my sister, who’s the sweetest little thing... um, I lived in a place called ‘Earth’, and... well, not a lot of exciting things ever happened there. But when they did? Oh, man, they were great...”

He realized that he should list more current events, such as how he got here.

“Okay, that schtick’s getting old. Um... well, I was on my laptop, reading - you wouldn’t know anything about this - an MLP fanfic. Or, I was about to. It said it was still looking for a main character. I took a look at it, and... everything went white. And now I’m here.”

Suddenly, a note decided to exist right in front of Guy. He reached out to grab it, opened it up, and began reading what was inside.

Congratulations!

You’ve won the opportunity to be the star character of my first fanfic! Aren’t you excited? It’ll only be the best Human in Equestria fic ever! Don’t worry, you’ll be sent back home, but only after you finish your story.

Get yourself ready, you’ll be K.O.’d the moment you finish this note, so we can send you there safely.

Enjoy life in Equestria!

-T.A.F.Y.F.S.I.

Guy barely had time to mutter, “..crap.”, before being overcome with a wave of unconsciousness. Then, he disappeared from the void, his individual molecules being sent across the universe towards Equestria.