It was a normal day for Lightning Dust. She was walking along the streets of Prance, where she now lived. As she headed home, she heard a rustling noise from the back of her house. Curious, she went around the back.
She didn't expect what she saw.
On the ground was an Earth Pony that was wearing a helmet. He had a red uniform with a patch on both shoulders, showing a rocket. But the strangest thing was the cutie mark. It showed a leg being devoured by... The stallion that possessed the cutie mark.
Then, the bizarre pony moved. It didn't move any limbs; it just dragged itself over the ground. There was an odd song playing, and every time the stallion moved, a clicking sound was heard. Finally, the stallion was right in front of Lightning Dust, who simply asked, "Who are you, and what the FUCK are you doing on my property?!"
The stallion looked up, and something about the pony's stare made Lightning Dust flinch! Before she knew it, the stallion was in her face again, and said the last words the Pegasus would ever hear.
"I AM PAINIS CUPCAKE. I WILL EAT YOU." Painis smiled, and before Lighting Dust could blink, she was on the ground, dead instantly because Painis had bitten her throat out. The stallion smiled, and tore out his victim's entrails. Intestines covered the ground, some spurting blood, making them writhe around like some sort of demonic snake.
Just as fast as it had happened, it was over.
"Hahahahaha!"
"Next on Equestria News at 3:30, a horrific mauling took place in Prance yesterday."
Carrot Top snapped awake. Finally, something interesting on the news! She listened intensely as the report began.
"In southern Prance, a neighbor of a Pegasus named Lightning Dust became concerned when he saw the mare go into her backyard and never return. Her house didn't have a back door, so the neighbor called the police. They arrived a few minutes after, and discovered a bloody scene. Warning: If you are squeamish in any way, change the channel."
Carrot Top didn't.
She regretted not doing so a few seconds later.
"This sadly is only what little remains of Lighting Dust were found. A CSI team also found a few bones, which had very disturbing tooth marks that seemed to have come from some sort of- wait. We have just received news that the bones found at the scene were bitten, not by an animal, but by another pony. How a pony can commit such a heinous act is unknown."
Carrot Top turned off the T.V. She'd had enough. Murders were always interesting, but something on this scale... She still couldn't believe it. A CANNIBAL PONY?! THAT SHOULDN'T BE POSSIBLE! The mare thought to herself as she got up from the couch. She sighed, and looked at the living room she was in.
The place was extravagantly clean; Rarity had made sure of that when she had come over last week. On the east wall was an elegant oak desk, which held Carrot Top's computer. On the west side, the sun shone in extravagantly through an expensive Gothic stained-glass window that had glass pieces put into such a way that it made carrots appear in the glass. The oranges, greens, and blues combined into a beautiful display in the center of the room.
She wandered to the computer and sat herself down. She went onto a dating site that she always went on. It allowed for her to send an anonymous message requesting a chat with another pony. She hit the send button, and waited.
She didn't have to wait long.
She began a chat with a user simply named, "Magotts".
Carrot Top sent the first message.
"Hi."
She received a response.
"I AM PAINIS CUPCAKE. WHO ARE YOU?"
Carrot Top found herself chuckling at the name. Painis Cupcake?! She thought to herself. How silly! Even so, she sent a message to Painis, introducing herself.
The response was:
"ARE YOU A CARROT?"
Carrot Top responded. "No."
"WHERE ARE YOU?"
"I live in a small town called Ponyville."
Unknown to either, a random Scout flew thought the roof, and then proceeded to explode. Not that it harmed anyone, or damaged anything, it simply exploded into a pile of crack-cocaine.
Painis responded to Carrot Top's message by saying, "HOW DO I GET THERE FROM PRANCE?"
One minute after Carrot Top had finished writing a message to Painis explaining how to get from Prance to Ponyville. She said her goodbyes, and signed off. As she got up, she noticed both the hole in her roof and pile of crack in her living room.
"DERPY!"
Over the course of a few days, our favorite freak had made it to Ponyville. He had encountered a gigantic purple bear, and plenty of smaller, but still massive blue ones
He had eaten them all.
A throbbing dildo hit the ground next to him and began drilling its way to the center of the planet, effectively raping it, and then began to have sex with the planet's core after it made its way there. The two then had a bunch of tiny dildo babies. Billions flew up from the ground, covered the sky, and exploded in what is the most pointless and idiotic part of any fanfiction ever written.
Painis marched into, or rather, dragged into the town. He spied a bizarre grey Pegasus mare that seemed cross-eyed. Painis slid himself over to her, and asked, "WHERE CAN I FIND THE RESIDENCE OF CARROT TOP?"
"Follow me!" Derpy responded.
Painis listened, and followed.
He smelled cupcakes, and began to spaz out, rocketing into a random house, which just happened to be Carrot Top's.
