Absolute crap

by Calestia

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random
Length: 1033

This story is absolute crap

The worst story you'll ever read. Guaranteed.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-30 16:03:05 UTC

Absolute crap

Octavia is a earth pony with a gray coat and black hair. She is very fond of music and often plays the cello. She is known as one of equestrias greatest musicians, but not many about her personal life. She is usually practicing playing her cello, or sleeping. When she's not although, she wallows in the pity that is her life. Although she lives another pony, they usually don't make eye to eye. Now i'm going to put you right into the eyes of this sad earth pony, so you can the despair the she goes through.

"Vinyl? Vinyl where are you?" I said. "I can't believe she'd ditch me like this." I have to get to my concert. There's no time for this. I started walking to the amphitheater where I was performing, but I was really hoping Vinyl could come help me unload. When I arrived the stage was full with magnificent ponies everywhere. In the crowd I even saw the princess of Equestria. This was my most important concert yet. I have to make it count. I got up on  stage with the curtains still down. The room went quiet. I could hear my heart pounding. I help my head up with my bow straight on the cello. The curtains went up. Now I began. Playing a soothing soft song which I have been practicing. It sound like the tune of a sweet lullaby, almost as if it were in the most peacful land anywhere. With white clouds overhead. The sun shining, and sound of a sweet tune coming from me.

After my song was done everyone clapped and I bowed down to the crowd. I got off the stage  and I saw the other musicians getting ready. I walked out the back door and started to head home. After the concoction of sounds I heard things seemed peaceful and happy. The sky was a dark blue and the cool air surrounded my body like a blanket. I got to the front door of my house hoping nothing would ruin the night. As I walked in I saw Vinyl blasting that music from her electronic device. The noise seemed to deafen me as I walked up to my room. Vinyl turned it off and walked to me. "Hey Vinyl i'm so sorry about not making to your concert." She said to me. "No no, it's quite alright." I answered. "Ah thanks pal." She said. I made a cup of hot tea sipping ever so carefully. My mind was mad at Vinyl for not coming, but she does seem busy alot. I decided to get to sleep as tomorrow i'm planning to find some new strings.

I woke up to the sound of that electronic sound coming downstairs. Vinyl was practicing her music. I didn't mind, so I just got a glass of orange juice and an apple to eat. After that I went to the music store looking for some new strings for my cello.

When I walked in I saw orange pony with yellow hair in there too. I went to the left side of the store and found the strings. I took them off the rack and stood behind the orange pony in line. "Welp what do ya' mean you dun't take apples?" I heard her say. "I'm sorry ma'am we just don't accept apples." The cashier answered back. Seeing the pony I decided to come help. "Um. I could pay for those if you'd like." I said. "What I don't even know you and you'd do that for me? Why now that's mighty fine of you." She answered. So I placed my item next to hers and I payed for them. After that I headed back home.

         When I got home the DJ known as my roommate left. I decided it was late enough to sleep. I dreamt of walruses making out on the beach when a Aliciorn in a banana suit started filming it. When I awoken I was floating down a river made of beans. All around me I saw flying toasters. A blue pony with rainbow hair was licking a pole very agressively. Naturally I decoded to join in. Eventually I realized our saliva was corrosive and we burnt through the pole. The blue pony disappeared into a cloud of chocolate milk. I thought that maybe discord was on the loose again so I ignored all the strange behavior. I simply walked to the theater and on the road I saw a giant flamin bubblegum tree. I wasn't in a rush so I peeled some of the non flaming part and put it in my mouth. It had a sticky flavor. I think it was cherry pineapple. Not really my favorite but it's still good. I saw the theatre and to my surprise a band of buffaloes were performing ballet. I walked on stage and performed a harmonious tune that directly in line with the buffaloes. My cello made duck noises but they were all in key so it didn't matter.

          I headed to the cafe for a drink and a sandwich. When I arrived the cafe sign read "mega waffle emporium" I assumed this was another change. I went in and all they sold was waffles. I ordered a whole wheat waffle with warm syrup and side of fruit. When I got my food it appeared on my table outer no where. I was glowing black with red particles. Either way I ate it without a doubte. I picked up my fork and started putting it in my mouth. Immediately I obtained the same glow and particles. Either way I continue eating. I got some fruit noticing it was rotten. I put it down and continued with the waffles. I paid the bill which was surprisingly free, and I got a note saying, "Thank you for enlisting in Discord's army!" I got up and headed home.

My house was made of clocks. I ignored this and went in. All my furniture and my beds and clothes were now clocks. I took a hour long nap. I made sure of it by setting an alarm on the clock I was sleeping on.