To Catch an Element

by BronyWriter

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Slice of Life, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin
Length: 2626

Twilight takes an awkwardly scientific route to intercourse.

Twilight Sparkle joins Rainbow Dash for a ground-side Wonderbolts show in Ponyville. She highly enjoys herself, and given Rainbow Dash's status, she is allowed to meet the entire team! Somehow she manages to secure a date with Soarin, a stallion who fancies himself as something of a playcolt. Twilight gives in, but Soarin gets a little more than he bargained for when Twilight tries to take a more academic approach with the night's events, and he may face his toughest challenge yet.

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Published 2013-06-30 22:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-30 22:50:03 UTC

Harmony Soars

The door to Golden Oaks library swung open and Twilight Sparkle stepped inside followed by, of all ponies Soarin of the Wonderbolts. Both were giggling as both had consumed a few mugs of hard cider between the two of them. Twilight shut the door behind her and allowed Soarin to lean against her, covering her back with one of her wings.

"You enjoying your night?" said Soarin. "That cider wasn't too much for you, was it?"

Twilight giggled and pushed him off. "Hey, I've been drinking Sweet Apple Acres cider for a few years now! I can hold my booze just fine."

Soaring rolled his eyes and draped his wing over her again. "Oh come on. Sweet Apple Acres cider isn't that alcoholic and you know it."

Twilight snorted and pushed Soarin off yet again. "I know, but it's good beginner alcohol." Twilight wrinkled her muzzle in disgust. "I don't like beer too much anyway. It tastes like liquid pennies."

Soarin opened his mouth to make a remark about harder liquor than that, but he was cut off when a certain purple dragon stomped down the stairs trailing his blanket behind him. "Would you two keep it down? Some of us are trying to sleep!"

Spike's glared at the two slightly tipsy ponies for a moment before he realized just who had his wing around Twilight's back. He frowned and crossed his arms. "Uh, Twilight. Is that a Wonderbolt who has his wing draped over you?"

Twilight grinned and nodded. "Yep. Soarin more specifically"

"Okay." Spike gaze shifted between the Wonderbolt and Twilight. "Follow-up question: why does a Wonderbolt have his wing draped over you?"

Twilight puffed her chest out. "Well, I was at the Wonderbolts show with Rainbow Dash and because she's a cadet, we got to meet the team after they were done." Twilight nudged Soarin's side. "Soarin and I started talking about the aerodynamics of pegasi wings during high-speed flight and, well, one thing led to another and he invited me out for drinks."

Spike shot Twilight a disbelieving grimace, but it was still hard to deny the evidence when said Wonderbolt was getting usually comfortable with Twilight. "Okay, what are you doing here, then?"

Twilight's grin faltered for a brief moment, but the smile returned when Soarin returned her nudge. "Well... you know how Rarity and..." Twilight rolled her eyes and spun her hoof around. "Everypony else is telling me that I need to get out more and socialize?" Twilight's face flushed. "Well, Soarin has told me that he'd like to help with that."

Spike scoffed. "What, are you going to bang or something?"

Twilight squeaked and pulled out of Soarin's wing grip. "W-well nopony says that it has to go there. W-we could just spend our night picking up where we left off a-about wing aerodynamics!"

Spike rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say." Spike gathered up his blanket and threw it over his shoulder. "I'm going to spend the night at Rarity's okay? Barring that, Applejack."

Twilight's face flushed a deeper crimson and flattened her ears. "Well... I guess you wouldn't be interested in our conversations anyway. They were pretty interesting, though."

"Uh-huh." Spike opened the door of the library. "I'll see you later." With that, Spike walked out into the night, shutting the door behind him.

Sensing that the baby dragon wasn't going to return, Soarin's grin widened and he placed his wing on Twilight once more. "Are we really going to talk about aerodynamics of pegasus wings? I mean, you were telling me that your friends want you to "socialize" a bit more."

Twilight scratched the back of her head and giggled nervously. "W-well yeah." Twilight's gaze flickered up to her bed and she perked up her ears. "And I guess that it wouldn't be too bad to at least take a crack at it."

Soarin growled seductively and nipped the tip of Twilight's ear. "That's what I like to hear," he whispered softly.

Twilgiht's grin reached Pinkie Pie levels and she began bouncing. "This is so exciting but nerve wracking at the same time!"

Soarin chuckled. "Yes I know being with a Wonderbolt can be intimidating, but I'll make your night great." Soarin's eyes closed and he nuzzled Twilight's cheek.

"I know," said Twilight with a wave of her hoof. "But I'm not very good at it myself. That's why we're going to do everything by the book!"

"Yeah, that's what I like to..." Soarin's eyes snapped open and he straightened up. "Wait... by the what now?"

The book," Twilight chirped. She ignited her horn and several books of varying sizes flew off of the shelves. "I told you I'm not very good at this, but with a little bit of study I'm sure I can meet your standards."

Soarin raised an eyebrow and picked up the closest book. It seemed to be some cheap, trashy romance novel with a stallion dipping a mare with a rose in his mouth. "So... I don't really..."

Twilight pulled a book off of the pile and flipped it open. "Rarity and Fluttershy keep telling me how interesting these books are, so I read them and took a few notes." Twilight looked up to the book that Soarin was holding and chuckled. "That's the same author who does Daring Do."

Soarin flipped open to one of the pages marked with a sticky note and began scanning the highlighted sections. "Uh, Twilight, is this... legal?"

Twilight shrugged. "You tell me." Twilight stuck her muzzle in the book she was holding. "This one in particular was informative. It taught me all about the nuances of how your..." Twilight bit her lip and blushed again. "Your..." Twilight cleared her throat and scanned the room. "Washcloth and my... curtains are supposed to interact."

A look of pure disbelief crossed Soain's face. "Your what and my what?!"

Twilight put her book down and flattened her ears. "I'm sorry! I'm just not comfortable saying anything more..." Twilight spun her hoof around. "Accurate."

"Okaaayyy." Soarin trotted up to Twilight, who was in the process of picking up another book, and put a hoof on her shoulder. "Look, it's um... really not that big a deal to me."

Twilight sighed. "I know. I just like to be prepared." Twilight ran a hoof through her mane and glanced over at the kitchen. "Would you like something to snack on while I brush up on what I know? I have chocolate cake or blueberry pie"

Soarin's previously missing grin returned full force. "Oh, a pie, of course."

"Coming right up." Twilight trotted over to the kitchen as Soarin picked up one of the romance novel that Twilight had been perusing. "Fifty Shades of Sparkle?" he muttered. "What the...? I don't even..."

It was at that point that Twilight returned from the kitchen bearing a slice of chocolate cake on a plate. "Sorry, Soarin. Spike must have eaten the last of the pie." She set the cake down on the floor in front of Soarin who by this point wasn't feeling all that hungry or in any kind of mood that might have helped him enjoy the night's proceedings should the occur at any time save for the near immediate future.

Twilight clicked her tongue and scanned another book. "Well, if my books are any indication I suppose we might as well start with some kissing."

Soarin's ears perked back up and a grin played at his lips. "Sounds good to me." He pushed the cake and books aside as he slid over to Twilight and wrapped his hooves around her barrel.

"Okay, where should I put my hooves?" Twilight asked.

"Doesn't matter to me. Pick somewhere."

Twilight shrugged and put her hooves on Soarin's shoulders. "Okay. I think I'm ready."

Soarin leaned in and pressed his lips against Twilight's. For Celestia's sake it's about darned time! I thought I was going to lose my bet with Fleetfoot.

Just as Soarin was beginning to enjoy himself, he heard Twilight's horn fire up again. He opened his eyes a crack to discover that Twilight's eyes were wide open and she seemed to be staring intently at something over Soarin's left shoulder. Soarin broke away from the kiss and frowned. "Is something wrong?"

Twilight shook her head. "No. I'm just taking a few notes."

Soarin's eyes widened and he wheeled around. Sure enough, a quill was working its way across a piece of parchment. He snatched the parchment out of the air, much to Twilight's chagrin. "Hey I wasn't finished yet!"

Soarin ignored her and read the parchment. "Subject 'S' and I are kissing now, something that I have been told is called 'foreplay'. While I'm sure he's pleased by it, I find myself rather perplexed by the whole thing. Why would ponies kiss each other? If he is supposed to make me feel good by kissing me, he's not doing a very good job."

Soarin's face was marred with a glare and Twilight chuckled nervously. "Uh, well, it's not really good to fabricate data. Kissing you was just kinda..." She shrugged. "It wasn't particularly stimulating, that's all."

Soarin groaned and crumples up the parchment despite Twilight's protests. "Look, Twilight, this isn't the kind of thing that can be quantified or whatever. It's just passion!" His seductive smile returned and he put his hoof on Twilight's chest. "You feel it here." He moved his hoof to Twilight's head. "Not here."

Twilight frowned as he brain processed what Soarin was trying to say. "Well..." Slowly she nodded her head. "I think I understand. I'll have to do some research on it later."

Soarin groaned and facehooved. "N... no! That's not quite how it works. I think you're missing the point."

Twilight's ears flattened and she lowered her head. "I'm sorry, I guess. I didn't think that I'd be amazing at this, but I thought I'd do better than I've been doing."

Soarin smiled and threw a foreleg over her shoulder. "Nah, it's okay. Everybody but me screws up their first time."

Twilight raised her head and frowned. "But you?"

Soarin chuckled and buffed his hoof against his chest. "Well, not to brag, but I took to it pretty early. My reputation as a playcolt is well deserved, you know."

Twilight cocked her head. "Really? I suppose that you'd be flexible with a neophyte like me."

"In a few ways, yes." Soarin inclined his head to the bed. "Let's forget the book and the research and just go with it, okay? Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

A small smile crossed Twilight's face, and she got to her hooves. "Okay, if you think I can keep up."

Soarin flashed her a confident smile. "I know you can."

* * * *

"I… I'm sorry." Twilight buried her head in her comforter and flattened her ears. "I didn't think that I'd do that."

Soarin tightened his jaw and leaned back against the headboard. "Uh-huh."

Twilight sighed. "I don't suppose it's ever happened to you."

Soarin jerked his head left and right. "Nope."

"It just slipped out!" Twilight insisted. "When you..." Twilight hesitated and spun her hoof as she tried to think of what to say next. "Uh, "showed me the money" so to speak, I didn't..." She sighed. "I didn't mean to start laughing."

Soarin groaned and put his head in his hooves. "Try to seduce an Element of Harmony, he said. It'll be fun, he said."

Twilight raised an eyebrow and cocked her head. "Who said?"

"Fleetfoot," Soarin grumbled. "I would have tried Rainbow Dash, but the way I hear it she's... different in that regard."

Twilight scoffed. "Let me guess, you think she bats for my team because of her tomboyish ways and her mane."

"Well..."

"You know she started dating Thunderlane, right?" Twilight said flatly. "She prefers to work at the... weather factory instead of the rainbow factory."

Soarin groaned and banged his head against the headboard. That doesn't make any sense at all!"

"What, that Dash isn't--"

"No! I mean your analogy!" Soaring snapped. Soarin tore the blankets off of him and got to his hooves. "In fact, none of the analogies you've made this whole time have made any sense at all!"

Twilight shrugged. "Well, that's how it was explained to me. We can try again if you want to, though. I'm up for it if you are."

Soarin exhaled and climbed back into bed. "Fine. We'll try again. You'll take it seriously this time, right?"

Twilight's eyes widened and she vigorously nodded. "Of course I will! I've been taking it seriously this entire time." She ran a hoof through her mane and glanced at the floor. "It's just that, I'm not used to doing this is all."

Soarin waved her objections away. "It's okay. I'm sure you'll do fine." Another seductive smile crossed his face. "I'll help you every step of the way."

Soarin laid on the bed in front of Twilight and reached out to touch her leg. "Hey, baby. Like what you see?"

Twilight's eyes crawled over Soarin's body and she gave her best attempt at a seductive smile of her own. However, it was marred by the fact that a less than flattering grin was spreading across Twilight's face. She squeaked and put a hoof in her mouth to prevent herself from laughing.

Soarin scowled and sat up on the bed. "Oh come on! You already knew what you were getting!"

Twilight squeaked again and tried to hold her laughter back, but it was no use. She took her hoof out of her mouth and began laughing so hard she was crying. "I... I'm sorry! It's just so..." She took a few deep breaths. "Small!"

Twilight's laughter resumed and Soarin shot to his hooves, spreading his wings out as far as he could. "Ah what do you know?! You're not even good at this!" With a growl Soarin flew over to the door and threw it open. Before he left her turned back to Twilight and shot her his best glare. "See if I ever allow you backstage at a Wonderbolts show ever again!"

Soarin shot out of the library, slamming the door behind him.

It was a full minute before Twilight could stop giggling. She wiped away her tears and leaned back on her bed. "Oh Celestia that was awesome." She chuckled a few more times before taking a breath and fluffing her pillow up and closing her eyes. "It's too bad I couldn't do it longer."

"Eh, I think you did a good job," said a voice from outside Twilight's window.

Twilight cracked her eye open and smiled when she saw her visitor. "Hey, Spitfire. Did you get everything?"

Spitfire grinned and held up the camera that was around her neck. "I think so." Spitfire flew into Twilight's home. "Do you still have that report on his kissing or did he damage that too much?"

"No, I think it's still okay." Twilight sat up in bed and levitated the crumpled parchment over to Spitfire. "Still good enough for you?"

A nasty grin crossed Spitfire's face and she folded the parchment up before putting it in her saddlebag. "It looks good to me." Spitfire chuckled and lightly punched Twilight's shoulder. "You did good, kid. I didn't know ya had it in you."

"Neither did I," Twilight admitted. "But Rarity gave me a few drama lessons and I think that helped a lot."

"Well it worked out in the end for me." Spitfire chuckled and held up the camera. "Once I get these babies developed he'll be under my hoof for as long as I want." Spitfire gently lowered the camera into her saddlebag. "Maybe he'll think about it before he cheats on me again."